


Sleepless in Seattle, Clexa Style

by ivywoman63



Category: The 100 (TV), clexa fandom
Genre: Bantering, F/F, Finn's a douche, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Matchmaker Maya, Matchmaker Raven, Minor Jasper Jordan/Maya Vie, Modern AU, Romantic Comedy, Sex Dreams, Slow Burn, Smut, clarke's a cat person, clexa au, deaf aden is lexa's bestie, does anybody really read these, engaged clarke can't stop dreaming about lexa, lexa loves dogs, lexa rides a motorcycle, lusting clexa, matchmaker aden, meow, my honeynut cheerios are stale, my publicist said to add more tags, raven loves popcorn and clexa, screwball comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2018-10-22 04:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 169,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10689858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivywoman63/pseuds/ivywoman63
Summary: Modern Clexa AU, Clarke is a surgeon who’s engaged to her best friend Finn, Lexa owns a dog boarding business and she’s a little salty about relationships and surgeons.   Clarke’s a cat person, Lexa’s a dog person, so of course they hate each other until they love each other.    And, my Raven is back and I love her.  Oh, and this story has absolutely nothing to do with the movie.  I just hijacked the title cause it takes place in Seattle, and clexa can’t sleep because of sex dreams about each other.  But I do love me some Meg Ryan, circa 1990’s.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well friends, here we are again. Now listen, this is a different story than Hollywood. Hollywood was like some out of body experience for me, I don’t know where it came from. So this story will be sorta cute, maybe put a smile on your face occasionally. But I’m not sure it’ll be ‘spit shit outta your mouth funny.’ And there is some angst in this one, so be warned.  
> Writing hollywood was the highlight of my life last year. Which isn’t saying much about my life. But, I met some fantastic people who became friends, and I’m gonna give them a shout out right now, cause I can, and it’s author notes and I’m the author. First my best bud from Seattle, hopelesshearteyes, who kept throwing me ideas for this story and expecting me to write thousands of words to bring those ideas to life. She’s single, and she’s totes adorbs, so if you’re looking for someone to chat with or whatever, hit up my lil dude. Tumble her ass, she’s a bee charmer. Just G, thegreatwanheda, who loves to curse at me in broken English and sent me chocolates from Austria, and who may or may not have a tattoo of a purple chicken somewhere on her body. Marissa my friendly canuck from north of the border, we talk ice hockey, I’m a big fan, her, not so much, so it’s pretty onesided conversation, my baby goat loving friend booandleashyloo, who makes sure that every week I have a baby goat video in my tumblr box. And Aliza M, who is taking time out of her life to help me rewrite Hollywood, in the hopes that someone may want to publish it. And lastly, it would be remiss of me to not give a shout out to my wife, who rolled her eyes when I told her i was writing another story. She puts up with me. And there’s a lot to put up with. Love you honey!  
> One last thing. Just G, the great wanheda has asked me to tell everyone who downloads the chapters that you're missing the end notes, and if you're missing the end notes you're missing a lot of the fun. There. Now I'm done.

 

 

 

 

**PROLOGUE**

 

 

_“Mommy, what are they going to do to me?”_

_Emily Woods was sitting in the hospital bed with her six-year-old daughter Lexa, stroking her hair. “They’re going to take out your tonsils honey. And they won’t hurt ever again.”_

_“Will Doctor Abby be there?”_

_“Yes baby, she’ll be there watching over you.”_

_“But how do they get them out?”_

_“They just reach in and snatch them away.”_

_“Will it hurt?”_

_“No baby, you’ll be fast asleep and dreaming. You won’t feel a thing.” She kissed the top of her head._

_“Promise?”_

_“I promise honey, you’ll wake up and it will all be over. And then you can eat all the ice cream that you want.”_

_“Chocolate?”_

_“Lots and lots of chocolate.”_

_Dr. Abby popped her head into the hospital room. “Good morning Lexa, good morning Lexa’s mommy.”_

_“Good morning Doctor Abby.” Lexa said with a huge smile on her face. She loved her doctor. She thought she was beautiful, with her long hair and brown eyes, and she looked so clean in her white coat._

_“Lexa, I have a surprise visitor for you.”_

_“Oh, who, who?” she clapped excitedly._

_Dr. Abby waved at someone from the hallway, and Lexa strained her neck to see who it was. “Clarke, come over here, I want you to meet my favorite patient.”_

_Lexa watched as a shy little girl came tip toeing into her hospital room. She had mounds of curly blonde hair sitting on top of her head and big blue eyes. She was no bigger than herself, and Lexa thought she looked like an angel. She had a tiny white coat on like the doctor and a plastic stethoscope around her neck._

_Abby grabbed Clarke’s hand and led her over to Lexa’s bed. “Clarke, say hi to Lexa.”_

_Clarke smiled with her tongue out and reached out her hand, “Hi Lexi.”_

_Lexa was so mesmerized by Clarke that she didn’t even bother to correct her when she said her name wrong. She put her hand out and took Clarke’s and shook it, like she’d seen adults do. “Hi Clarke.” She looked over to her mom who nodded her head with approval._

_“I’m gonna be a doctor like my mom,” little Clarke said._

_“Are you going to take tonsils out, too?”_

_Clarke nodded her head._

_Dr. Abby looked at Lexa’s mom, “This is what happens when the sitter calls in sick. I get to do rounds with my six-year-old.” She looked down at her pager, “Oh, I have a call, I’ll be right back, c’mon Clarke.”_

_Lexa looked to her mom. “Can’t she stay with us mommy?”_

_Lexa’s mom looked to Abby, who smiled and nodded her head. “Clarke, do you want to stay here and keep Lexa company?”_

_“Yes, I need to make her better.”_

_“There you have it, my daughter the future doctor. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”_

_“Take your time, we’re certainly not going anywhere.”_

_The girls spent a couple hours together, both of them lying in bed watching cartoons. Every once in a while, Clarke would sneak out of the room and rob the snack cart, bringing Lexa jellos and puddings. They giggled at silly stuff and laid on each other like puppies._

_When Abby finally made it back to the room the two girls were curled up coloring in a book that Lexa’s mom had brought from home. “Clarke, we have to go now.”_

_“No mommy, a little while longer. We’re having so much fun.”_

_“Lexa has to get some sleep, we’re taking her tonsils out tomorrow to make her feel better. But to do that she needs to be well rested and strong. Okay?”_

_Clarke pouted, she didn’t want to leave her new friend just yet. But she wanted her to be strong so she could feel better. “Okay. Bye Lexi.”_

_Lexa pulled her into a fierce hug, “Bye Clarke, will you visit me again?”_

_“Yes, won’t we mommy?” Clarke asked, looking up at Abby._

_“We’ll try, now let’s go, we got to get you home and in the bath tub and then into your pj’s.” Abby lifted Clarke off the bed and put her feet on the ground. She reached down and held her hand to guide her out of the room. Clarke kept looking back and waving at Lexa._

_When they were gone, Lexa opened the book they were coloring in. She had made Clarke draw a picture of herself. She smiled, reached out and touched the picture and looked over at her mom, “This is my new friend Clarke, mommy. She looks like an angel. She’s my angel. She’s so pretty.”_

_“I know honey. But we have to get you to bed. So, let me have the book and let’s tuck you in.”_

_Lexa reluctantly gave the book to her mom, and crawled under the covers. “Now, good night my precious baby,”_

_“Night mommy.  Mommy?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Will Clarke come back to visit me?”_

_“I think she’ll try honey, now go to sleep.”_

_“Mommy, can I live with Clarke when I’m big?”_

_“You can live with whoever makes you happy.” That made Lexa smile._

_To Lexa’s delight, Clarke did come back to visit her the next day after her surgery._

_“Show her what you brought her Clarke,” Abby said, nudging her forward. “Now remember, she’s not allowed to talk, her throat’s sore.”_

_Lexa noticed that Clarke had some sort of book in her hands._

_“I made this for you Lexi, your own picture book.” Clarke showed Lexa her book. It had a picture of a doctor in a doctor’s coat on the cover. “That’s my mom,” Clarke said, pointing to the picture._

_Abby lifted Clarke and put her in bed beside Lexa. She scooted up next to Lexa and began turning the pages in her book. “This is you.” Clarke showed Lexa a picture of a little girl with long dark hair and a bandage around her throat. “That’s your sore throat, and that’s your mommy.”_

_Lexa smiled at her and pointed to a picture and pointed at Clarke._

_“Yeah, that’s me and that’s you. We’re watching TV, like we did yesterday. I love to draw.”_

_Lexa turned to last page and there was a picture of heart, with ‘lexi and clarke forever’ written in the middle of it. Lexa pointed at the heart and smiled, showing her mom._

_Emily sidled up next to Abby. “They’re adorable together.”_

_“Yeah, they are. When Clarke got home last night she was determined to make something for Lexa, to make her feel better.”_

_“My god, that’s sweet,” Emily said. She looked over at the two little girls sitting in bed, one blonde, one brunette, bending their heads together as they read through the book._

_“I have to continue on my rounds, could I leave Clarke here again? They seem to be enjoying themselves.”_

_“Oh god yes, we’ll keep our eye on her.”_

_Abby squeezed Emily’s arm, “Thanks.”_

_The girls spent another afternoon together eating ice cream and drawing in the new picture book that Clarke made. Abby came back to collect Clarke around five. “We ready to go Clarke?”_

_“Do we have to? Lexi can’t talk yet, and I have to stay here until she can talk.”_

_“We have to get home, your dad is taking us out to dinner tonight. C’mon, we can’t keep him waiting.”_

_Clarke hugged Lexa and swung her legs over the side of her hospital bed, slipping down to put her feet firmly on the floor. She turned and waved as her mom took her hand to lead her away. As they were walking out the door she turned her face up to her mom, “Mommy, can I live with Lexi when we’re grown-ups?”_

_“Oh honey, you don’t live with girls when you grow up, you live with boys, like how daddy and I live together…”_

_Lexa was disappointed when she got discharged the following day. She cried as her mom took her out to the car, because she wanted her friend Clarke to come home with her. For weeks she asked her mom when Clarke was going to come visit. Emily knew she wouldn’t see Clarke again, but she had a hard time telling her daughter that. “Honey, sometimes things hurt us. Like how you feel because Clarke hasn’t come to visit. And when things hurt, we should try and put them away, we should tuck them away somewhere, like in a box, and try not to think about them again.” So, Lexa tried to put away her hurt. She finally stopped asking about Clarke. She put the picture book that Clarke made her in her drawer and stopped looking at it every night. She boxed away her feelings and her hurt. Soon, other books went into her drawer, pushing Clarke’s further and further away from her vision, and further and further away from her mind._

 

 

**Chapter One**

 

Clarke was rooting through her closet looking for her favorite jacket.  Jinx, her orange maine coon cat, was helping her by banging his big head into her hands every time she went to move a box.  No luck there, she went to the closet down in the hallway.  Still no.  “Jinxy, where the hell is my coat?”  He was no help, as he saw a bird fly by the window and was immediately distracted.  She sighed, this house was too big for the them.  She still had no idea why Finn thought it necessary to buy it last year.  It was definitely not Clarke’s style, these little mini mansions.  She said no but he insisted, and since he was paying for it, she just decided to live with it.  Or live in it as was the case.  It was four thousand square feet of mostly empty rooms because they didn’t use even half of it.  Maybe she left her jacket at Raven’s the other night.  She took out her cell phone.

“Clarkster, what’s up?” Raven asked.  Raven Reyes and Clarke Griffin met in college; they were freshman roommates.  Raven was from Arizona, and for some inexplicable reason, she was drawn to the misty, rainy northwest.  She told her family she was tired of the desert.  Tired of dust, tired of dust storms, tired of drought, and tired of sand.  So, she headed to the University of Washington, in Seattle, where she could have bad hair every day.  After college, she landed a job at Amazon as a programmer and never looked back.

“Did I leave my jacket over there Thursday night?” Clarke asked, still rooting through the myriad of closets in the house.  Most were walk-ins, Clarke called them live-ins because they were all so big.

“The black one?”

“Yeah.”

“With the big buttons.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said hopefully.

“Breast pockets outlined in white piping, with twenty bucks in there?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Crap, I don’t know where it is.”  Clarke sighed.  She hated losing stuff.

“I’m fucking with you, yes, you left it here, I’m looking at it right now, dork.  I’ll drop it off later.”  Raven pulled the phone away from her ear, not comprehending the background noise on Clarke’s end.  “What is that noise?”

“What? The incessant barking?”

“Yeah, you watching 101 Dalmatians or something?”

“Oh, it’s not a movie, it’s real life.”

“What?”

“Finn adopted a dog yesterday.  We have a damn dog.  You know, cause we’re home so much and can take care of it.”

“Oh, somebody ain’t happy.”

“Two somebody’s.  Jinx hates him.  Look, we both know I’m a cat person.”

“As am I, my friend.”

“Right?  I mean, I like dogs...when they’re somebody else's.  My work schedule is crazy right now, I don’t have time for a dog.”

“Ain’t nobody got time for that,” Raven said, imitating one of her all-time favorite YouTube videos.

“What?”

“Nothing, send it back.”

“I can’t send it back. Don’t be ridiculous.  He better take care of it, is all I have to say, or else.”

“Oohh.  Or else what?”

“Or else, I don’t know, I’ll get pissed.”

“I highly doubt you being pissed will change anything.”

“Shut up.”  Clarke sighed, “I hate when you’re right.”

“I know, tell him it’s you or the dog.  Make him choose.”

“He’ll probably choose the dog.”

“And that’s a bad thing, why?”

Clarke groaned to herself.  Raven never approved of the match, thinking Clarke was "settling," that Clarke was never head over heels in love with him.  So, Clarke was left always defending her choice.  She knew that Raven meant well, that her friend wanted her to be happy, but sometimes it wore on her.  “Alright knock it off.  I don’t know why you’re always so critical of him.”

“Cause I think you can do better.  There, I said it.”

“You act like you haven’t said it before.”

“I know I’ve said it.  I also know I’ve seen you in love before, and I know you’re just doing this to please other people, who will remain nameless.  Unless their names are Abby and Jake.  Then I shall name them.  And I just did.”

“Rave, we’re engaged, maybe you should just accept it.”

“You’ve been engaged for three years Clarke, three.”

“It’s hard to find the time to have the wedding.”

“Or you just don’t want to marry him.”

“I gotta go, I’ll see you later.”

Raven knew when her friend had enough of her pontificating, so she changed the subject.  “Wait, you wanna go to the bar with us tonight?” Raven asked.

“Which bar?”

“The Ark.”

“I’m not going to the gay bar with you, last time you kept bringing women over, trying to set me up with them.”

“What?  That was fun, no?”

“No.”

“You got a lot of action, my friend.  They were lining up to dance with you.  C’mon, one drink.  I know someone who wants to see you, cause she’s _so_ in love with you.”

“Who?”

“Emori.”

“Oh god, she’s persistent, I’ll give her that.”

“C’mon, make her day.”

“No, I have to catch up on paperwork for the hospital.  I’ve been putting it off all week.  Maybe next time, OK?”  Clarke always easily forgave her bestie for berating her about her upcoming nuptials.

“Alright, killjoy. I’ll drop off your jacket on the way to the bar.  Oh, I spent your twenty bucks.  Give the dog a kiss for me.”

“He doesn’t sit still long enough to kiss.  Later.”  Clarke hung up and looked around for the dog.  She heard growling and scratching and found him trying desperately to get something from underneath the couch.  She peeked under there and saw her hospital badge.  Jesus Christ he was playing with her badge.  She reached under and pulled it out, noticed the teeth marks on it, wiped the slobber off, put it in her briefcase, and placed the briefcase up on top of the bookcase.  She looked down at the dog, and back up at the bag, calculating his jump radius.  She decided it should be out of reach.  Jinx was on the dining room table hissing continuously at the new pet in the house.  “I know Jinxy, I know, blame your daddy.”

She sighed and plopped down on the couch, trying to relax for a few moments.  She was thirty-three and in the last year of her surgical residency at the University of Seattle Medical Center.  After this year, she’d be able to have her pick of jobs.  The pressure was relentless the past few months.  They always seemed shorthanded at the hospital lately, so she was always the first called in.  The fourteen hour days weren’t bad, but the eighteen hour ones were killing her, and there were three of them this past week.  She was good at what she did, just don’t ask her if she loved what she did.  She was merely fulfilling her birthright, at least according to her parents. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a buzz from her phone.  She looked down and saw a text from Finn.  He was going to be late tonight.  Great, Clarke thought, another night alone.  Which maybe wasn’t a terrible thing, she could get some work done.  Clarke and Finn had known each other since they were teenagers, attending the same private prep school.  They were best friends for a long time, each popular in school, each always having a boyfriend or girlfriend.  Then one day five years ago, they were both single at the same time, and a drunken kiss turned into sex, and the rest was history.  They always referred to themselves as Harry and Sally as in “When Harry Met Sally,” the iconic movie about two best friends who became lovers.  They got along well, they found each other attractive and had similar goals, in the beginning anyway.  What more could they ask for?  Clarke wanted to be a doctor and help people, at least she was told by her parents that she wanted to be a doctor and help people.  He wanted to be a plastic surgeon.  Clarke thought that was honorable, helping people who maybe had horrific accidents, doing reconstructive surgery on burn victims, etc. etc.  After med school, Clarke found her way into surgery also, discovering that she had incredibly steady hands and laser focus.  But Finn veered off course the past few years when he got offered a residency at a clinic that did plastic surgery for the wealthy people of Seattle.  So now he spent his time doing nose jobs, face lifts, and liposuction.  He started to care about money and status.  Those two things were not important to Clarke, but for Finn, they were.  It wasn’t always that way.  She tried to think if there was an exact moment he had changed, but it was more of a slow transformation.  He had joined his father’s country club about three years ago and started hanging around a different crowd.  Clarke hated the pretentiousness of it all, so she rarely went there with him.  It was at the club that he met the head of the plastic surgery clinic.  And the rest, as they say, was history.

She thought back to Raven’s remark about not wanting to really get married.  She felt there was some truth to that, and she was afraid to admit it out loud.  Both their parents were thrilled with the match, and Clarke knew if she called it off there would be a lot of explaining to do, and she didn’t have the time or energy for that, so the status quo was fine, everybody was happy.  Almost everybody.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Raven came back to the table and set down a beer in front of Octavia and gave her a kiss.  “This good, baby doll?”

“That’ll do pig, that’ll do.”  They were at The Ark, which was _the_ trendy lesbian bar in downtown Seattle.  It was Saturday night, so the place was hopping.  “Oh my god.”

“What?” Raven asked.

“I think I know that chick.”

“Which one?”

“The hot one over there, long dark hair.”

“The one with the mullet?”

“Nooo, the one in the jeans.”

“OK, narrows it down to one hundred and thirty-three women.”

“The one with the long dark hair,” O said impatiently.

“Oh, right, long, dark hair, jeans, we’re down to eighty-five women.  Ah, blue shirt?”

“No.”

“Baseball hat?”

“Nope.”

“Tank top?”

“Uh uh,” Octavia rolled her eyes, she was paying the price for her lack of specifics.

Raven pursed her lips and continued to look around.  “Pink shirt,” she pointed, “the one in the pink shirt!”

Octavia waited a moment.  “You done?”

“I give up.  If your intention was to frustrate the shit out of me, you have succeeded.  Congratulations.”

“Over there, black tee shirt, jeans, leaning on the bar, talking to the chick in the red shirt.”

“Oohh.  That hot one.  Yummy.”  Raven gave the woman a quick once over, tall, slim, fit, long, dark hair pulled back in a braid, yeah, basically smokin’.

“C’mon, let’s go over.”  O dragged Raven towards the bar.  When they reached it, she tapped the brunette on the shoulder.  “I think I know you, are you Lexa Woods?”

The woman raised her eyebrows and looked closely at Octavia.  “Yeah, I’m Lexa, but I’m not sure I know you.”

“Octavia Blake, we went to high school together, we both played basketball.”

Recognition registered on Lexa’s face, and she broke out in a smile, “Oh my god, Octavia, yes, I remember.  I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you.”

“That’s OK, I was kinda dorky back then.”

“Yeah, you turned out good, girl.  How you doin’?”

“I’m good, I’m good.  How are you?”

Raven cleared her throat and nudged O’s shoulder.

“Oh yeah, this is my girlfriend, Raven, Raven, this is Lexa.  She was the star of the team back then.”

Lexa reached out and firmly shook Raven’s hand, “Nice to meet you.  This is Anya, a good friend of mine,” she said as she introduced the woman in the red shirt.  Everyone shook hands and greeted one another.

“Do you guys wanna get a table, we could catch up,” O said.

“Sure, that’ll be great.”  They all wandered over to a table away from the bar area where it was quieter.

“So, what are you doing these days?” O asked Lexa.

“Well, Anya and I own a dog boarding facility, we do daycare, grooming, walking, you name it.”

Raven perked up, “No shit?”

Lexa smiled at her, “No shit.”

“Explain to me the daycare thing, cause we have two monsters at home that are nuts.  O’s the dog person here, I told her we could get one, but she insisted on two.”

“Two’s better, they keep each other company,” O said.

“Well, now it’s double the work, double the food, double the vet bills, double the shit in the backyard, which I always have to pick up.  It’s two leashes, two bowls to trip over, not to mention there is no room on the couch.  And try gettin’ busy with two dogs spread all over the bed.  They watch, I swear they watch.  I don’t know about you, but I get a little stage fright with so many eyes on me.”

“You would not be a good porn star,” Octavia volunteered as she patted her girlfriend’s thigh.  “And the dogs aren’t that bad….” she paused for a moment, thinking back to last night, remembering how the dogs continuously licked themselves on the bed and play growled at each other for hours, “well, they might be that bad.”

“Oh, you think?”  Raven made a show of rolling her eyes at Lexa and Anya.  Raven wasn’t quite finished with her rant yet, “They’re totally up our asses at night when we come home, all wound up and bouncing off the fucking walls.  No shit, like literally bouncing off the fucking walls.  The one put all four paws on the wall, and bounced the fuck off.  True story.”  Everyone took a breath, thinking she was done, but she wasn’t, “It looked like one of those baby goats, you know, you’ve seen the videos on Facebook, the one bounces off the other one, you know, puts all his paws on him, and knocks him the fuck down, right?  Have you seen it, wait, let me find it.”

O put a hand on Raven’s arm, “It’s OK, we get the picture.”

“Oh, alright, just trying to give a visual.”

“It’s fine, we get it,”  O said, sipping her beer.

“Damn,” Anya said, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard fuck used so much in a sentence.”

O smiled at her, “It’s a sickness, we’re working on it.”

“That word gets a bad rap my friend,” Raven said.

“Yeah, well, getting back to your dogs, it sounds like you need daycare,” Anya offered.  “Tires the shit out of them, guaranteed.”

“So how does it work?” O asked.

“Well, you can either drop them off or we come and pick them up.”

“What now?” Raven asked, the thought of daycare already had her heart pitter pattering, but pick up service?  Felt like Christmas morning.  “You actually come and pick them up?  Like in a car?”

“We have vans,” Anya clarified.

“You pick them up, and then what... you bring them back?  Or do you keep them?  You can keep them.”

Octavia punched her, “Hey.”

“I know, how about you pick them up, and keep them, and bring back, like a cat, or a kitten.”

“Stop it, you like them,” Octavia said.  She turned to the other two women, “You’ll have to forgive her, she’s a cat person.”

Both Anya and Lexa nodded with understanding, “Oh, got it.”  “Explains a lot.”

Raven put her hands up, “OK, I see I’m outnumbered here.  I know when to surrender.  So, you pick them up, and you drop them off, is that the deal?”

Lexa nodded, “Yep.”

Raven felt like she just won the lottery.  “Well, where have you been all my life?  Sign us up.”

“I can pick them up Monday if you want,” Lexa said.

“Done.  Right babe?  Done?”

O nodded her agreement.  She knew Raven wasn’t much of a dog person, and dropping two on her was a little overwhelming, especially two younger dogs with a lot of energy.  O grew up with a lot of dogs, her mom always rescuing this one or that one, so dogs were a must in her life.  Raven had needed a bit more convincing, finally relenting a month ago.

The group ordered another round of drinks.  “So, what do you guys do?” Anya asked.

“Raven works at Amazon as a programmer, and I’m kinda between careers right now.  I work as a nanny for this couple over on Mercer Island.  Pays good until I figure some things out.”

“How old are the kids?” Anya asked.

“Well, one’s five, the other is three, and the youngest is fourteen months.”

“Wow, they’re young.”

“Yeah, don’t be surprised if she orders you a juice box from the bar, sometimes she forgets she’s with adults,” Raven said.

“I do not.”

“Yeah you do.  Last night you told me it was beddie-bye time and to put my jam jams on.”

“I did?”  O thought back to last night, “Crap I did.”

“Yeah, I think you’re losing your adult vocabulary.  Oh, while I'm thinking of it, there was a wawa in the washing machine this morning.”

“The blue one?  I was looking for that the other day.”

Lexa and Anya looked at each other.  “What's a wawa?” Lexa asked.

“You know, the thing you shove in a kid’s mouth to shut them up,” O said.

“You mean a pacifier?” Anya asked.

“Little JonJon calls it a wawa,” Raven explained.  “So we,” she subtly nodded her head at Octavia, “call it a wawa.”

“How long have you guys been together?” Lexa asked.

O looked at Raven, “What, three years now?”  Raven nodded in agreement.

“What about you two, are you together?” O asked.

“No, just friends, Anya has a girlfriend, though.”

“What about you?” O asked Lexa.

“Single right now.”

“Oh, you’re single?  Holy shit what a waste,” Raven said.  She had to admit, this chick was pretty hot.

“Who can we set her up with?” O asked, the wheels already turning, thinking of all their single friends.

Lexa held up her hands, “Whoa, I don’t need to be set up, believe me.  I’ve sworn off relationships for a while.”

“Why, what happened?”

“Well, the last woman I was with cheated on me, so I’m a little salty right now.”

“Who the hell would cheat on you?” Raven asked.  “Hey, I got a blonde I can set you up with.”

Octavia looked at her, “Who?”

“Clarke,” she said with a sly smile.

“Stop it. Ignore her,” she said to Lexa.  She looked back at Raven, “What about Emori?”

“Seriously ladies, I’m fine being single right now.  If that changes, I’ll let you know.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find I like to make up words. So, there's probably a couple in here that I made up, because they sound funny to me. I like to think of it as some sort of literary genius, while others may think that I'm just a moron.

 

Monday morning brought gloomy clouds and sprinkles, in other words, a typical Seattle day. Raven opened the door and let Lexa in. She peeked around her to get a look at the van. “That the van?” The whole operation had her intrigued.

Lexa looked back at it in the driveway, “Yeah,” she said with a co-conspiratory whisper.

“Cool. You put the dogs in the back?”

Lexa leaned in a little, “Yeah, in the back.” She made a play of looking around to see if anyone else was listening. “Except for the short one, he sits up front.”

Raven nodded, “So you got the big ones in the back, all rolling around and shit when you make turns?”

“Yeah, it’s crazy cool. Dogs everywhere.”

“The short one a chihuahua? I’m picturing him sitting on your shoulder, saying _take the next left_.”

“Only he says it in Spanish.”

Raven nodded again. “Nice.” She ushered Lexa into the house. “Yo babe, Lexa’s here.” Suddenly two very energetic thirty-five pound dogs came running into the foyer, both had short hair, black and white patches, floppy ears and no discernible lineage. True mutts. Raven made the introductions, “This is Roscoe, sit Roscoe, sit. He will eventually. Like tonight. And this is Rocky, down, Rocky down.” Raven tried to get the dog to stop jumping. “Yeah, we ain’t so good with dogs around here. O? You coming down?”

Octavia made her way down the steps and gave Lexa a hug. “Did you meet the monsters?”

“You mean did she get mauled by the monsters, yes,” Raven said as she held both dogs by the collar.

“I did, they’re cute, are they brothers?”

“Yes, that’s why we had to get two, I couldn’t bear the thought of separating them,” Octavia said.

“Well, I’ll load them up and get them back to you around five? Is that good.”

“Yep, I’ll be home by then,” Raven said.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Clarke came to the nurse’s station to pick up the chart on her next surgery. She felt her phone buzz and gave it a quick look. Raven sent her a picture of some van. What the heck was she sending her this for? The logo said, “Bitches on Wheels.” She had no idea why she was getting this text, so she just ignored it.

“There she is, my favorite doctor,”

Clarke recognized the voice, and smiling she turned around, “And here’s my favorite EMT. Don’t tell me you brought in some horrific accident victim who needs surgery.”

Bellamy grabbed her and gave her a bear hug. “No, just a broken leg. Guy fell off a ladder. I haven’t seen you in a week, how you been beautiful?” Clarke and Bell had gone on a couple dates during the summer after her freshman year of college. Funny enough, Finn was the one who set her up with him. They were both buddies from when they were younger, playing on the same travel baseball team for years. This was, of course, way before Clarke and Finn started dating. But Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship never really amounted to much, just a few dinners sprinkled over two months. It was a mutual decision that a relationship wasn’t in the cards, so they parted ways but remained friends.

“Oh, I’ve been OK.”

“How’s Finny? I haven’t talked to him in weeks.”

“He’s good. He’s been kinda hanging with the guys at the club.”

“Oh, I get it. Throwing his old buds away. Well you tell him I expect to go golfing with him one of these days.”

“I will.”

“OK, I gotta roll, I just wanted to say hi. Oh, Echo wants to have you guys over for dinner soon, so she’ll probably be calling you.”

“Alright, that sounds good.” Clarke gave him a hug and kiss goodbye. He was still boyishly handsome, not changing much from his late teens. She was a little jealous. She felt like every day a new wrinkle was visible in her mirror. Maybe it was a good thing that Finn was a plastic surgeon. She almost giggled at that. She couldn’t imagine having that conversation with him. “Honey, fix my wrinkles.” Clarke wasn’t that vain. She looked over the chart that was in her hand and went into the room across from the nurse’s station to see her patient. “Hey Mrs. Mitchell, how you doing today?”

The older woman smiled at her, “I’m doing good dear, when are we going to take out this damn gallbladder?”

“You’re scheduled for tomorrow, we’re going to be running tests today just to make sure everything else is OK. Everything feel good, no more pain?”

“No, I’m good honey, thank you. Those drugs are wonderful. My son will be in later today, how long is your shift?”

Clarke smiled, every older woman who she operated on was always trying to set her up with their son. It was a given. Were there really so few eligible women out there? “Well, that’s nice Mrs. Mitchell but I’m actually engaged.”

“Engaged? Where’s your ring sweetie?”

“It’s kind of an occupational hazard to wear it around here. Wouldn’t want to sew it up in a patient, now would I?” Clarke said teasingly.

“No, I guess not. Listen, if it doesn’t work out with your man, you call me, my Thomas is wonderful.”

“I definitely will. Now you get some rest, and I’ll check back on you later today. Your surgery is nine a.m. tomorrow, OK?”

“Yes, dear.”

Clarke walked back out to the nurse’s station. She checked her phone for messages and saw that her mom called and wanted to meet for coffee at the cafeteria in about fifteen minutes. She supposed she could spare the time, even though she knew what the conversation would be about. She began rubbing at her temples to ease the tension that already started to build in her head.

Clarke walked into the cafeteria. She swore this place looked exactly the same as when she used to come here as a child. Her mom always brought her to work when the sitter couldn’t make it. She practically grew up in this hospital. She peered around the room and saw Abby waving from a table in the corner. Clarke went over and bent down to give her a kiss on the cheek, “Hey mom.” She plopped down in the hard plastic chair.

“Hey honey, you look tired, are you not sleeping again?”

At random times in Clarke’s life when things were most stressful, she had a hard time sleeping. And lately, with her long shifts at the hospital and upcoming wedding, her stress was through the roof. “I got about four hours last night. The dog started barking at three a.m., woke me up.”

“Dog? When did you get a dog?”

“Finn got one the other day. Rescued it.”

“Awe, that’s nice.”

Clarke sighed. Finn could do no wrong in her mom’s eyes. Even when he cheated on her, Clarke felt like her mom blamed her. At least that’s how Clarke felt when she told her mom and received one of her patented, "what did you do" looks. “Well, we really don’t have time for a dog right now. He’s been working late all the time, so that leaves me to take care of it.”

“Well talk to him about it, I’m sure he’ll listen to you.”

“Yeah, cause he always listens to me.”

“Stop it. Have you guys settled on a date yet? You really need to get moving on this.”

Here we go Clarke thought. The relentless pressure to get married. “Maybe September.”

“OK, at least we’ve got a month picked out, that’s good.”

“I guess. I don’t have time to even plan it.”

“I’ll help, don’t worry about it. Any day in particular? Or should I just guess.”

“No specific day yet. We’ll decide soon, and I’ll let you know.” Clarke knew her mom would love planning it. And quite frankly, more power to her. She’d been planning her whole life up until this point anyway. Both her parents were doctors, and from a young age that’s what they expected of Clarke. To follow in the family footsteps. Never mind that Clarke’s true love was art. Her dad was a neurologist, and served on the board of the hospital, and her mom currently was one of the top pediatric surgeons. So Clarke had a lot to live up to. And then there was Finn. According to her parents, he was the perfect match. His parents also worked at the hospital, so they envisioned their children as the perfect power couple. They already declared them engaged at sixteen. Kiddingly of course. But when the two started dating in their late twenties, it was like the stars aligned. And now, after five years, the wedding was finally going to happen.

So why didn’t Clarke feel happier? Why was she besieged by doubts now, after all this time? Finn was good, they were still best friends, and for the most part he treated her really well. His new friends at the country club were annoying, but she could put up with them. God knows her friends could be annoying also. Again, Finn was her best friend. Harry and Sally. But was that a reason to marry someone? Clarke wasn’t so sure. She never felt lovesick over him. She felt like she had only been in love once, in college, and that had ended badly. She still didn’t like to think about it, even after all these years, so she brought her thoughts back to Finn. He had always been a big part of her life, so why not make it official. Clarke felt that this was their path, so they should just walk down it. Everybody would be happy. All these thoughts were going through her brain as her mom prattled on and on about where the wedding should be, and what the color scheme should be.

“Clarke? Are you even listening to me?” her mom asked.

“Uh, sure.” Clarke looked down at her watch and decided she had enough mom talk. “I gotta see a patient, I’ll talk to you later, OK?” She got up, leaned down and gave her mom a peck on the cheek.

“OK, honey, I’ll talk to Finn’s mom and we’ll try and get this moving for you.”

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

“Yeah?” Clarke was running around trying to get out the door, her phone caught between her chin and her shoulder.

“Why hello to you too, bestie, why so pleasant?” Raven asked.

“I’m late, and Finn left early, and I’ve got the damn dog to take care of, and one of my patients had a reaction to some meds, and what the hell else is new in my life?”

“I think you secretly love the chaos.”

“I think you’re secretly a pain in my ass,” Clarke said as she was pulling on her shoes, hopping towards the front door.

“I’ve solved your dog problem.”

“My dog problem? It’s Finn’s goddamn problem, that trickles down to me when he leaves. It’s been a week and most of our furniture is destroyed.”

“I could solve your Finn problem too.”

“Shut up.”

“You still engaged?”

“What? Yes, god what kind of question is that?”

“OK, you say that like you’ve never called it off before.”

“I called it off once.”

“Twice, actually.”

“Well, twice. OK, yeah. But I was just pms’ing that second time, that shouldn’t even count. How did you solve the dog problem?”

“Octavia met some chick at the bar the other night, someone she knew in high school. Next thing you know, they’ve facebooked, twitted, and whatever else.”

“You mean tweeted?”

“What the fuck ever.”

“I assume this is leading somewhere?”

“Patience Prudence. So this chick owns a doggie daycare service.”

“Yeah, so? When do I have time to drive a dog to doggie daycare, I barely have time to put my bra on.”

“Oh, don’t forget to do that, you got some big knockers there. You might hurt yourself. Not to mention that none of the men on your floor would get anything done…”

“Raven, the daycare thing.” Clarke needed to get her back on topic.

“OK, OK, where was I?”

“I don’t know, but you didn’t get very far.”

“Oh, right, didn’t you get my text the other day? The picture of the van? So she has a service where they drive and pick up your dog, take them away for the day, and deliver them back to the house later.”

“Keep talking.” Clarke was intrigued as she looked down at the dog, he was chewing on Finn’s slipper. Served him right.

“That’s it, she’ll be there in about five minutes.”

“What? Wait, today?” Clarke asked incredulously.

“Yeah, so get that pooch ready.”

“Jesus, I don’t have time for this, I’m late already.”

“She’ll be there any second. For god’s sake it won’t kill you to be a couple minutes late. Well, it might kill your patient. But it won’t kill you.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake. OK, I’ll wait,” she said as she ran her fingers through her hair. Did she even remember to brush it this morning? It felt a little matted.

“Good, she’s been taking our two monsters the last three days and they come home all tired and shit, it’s a beautiful thing.”

“How much does this doggie chauffeur service cost?”

“Just give her your credit card, you can afford it, it’s worth every penny.”

“Alright, alright, I have to go, the hospital’s on the other line.” Clarke disconnected Raven and answered the other call, “Yeah? Did someone give her the IV?” She heard the doorbell ring, “Sue, can you hold on a sec? Thanks.”

                                                                                                   * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Lexa got out of the van and looked up at the house in front of her. It seemed huge and she just shook her head. Most of her clients lived in these types of houses. It was three floors, gray siding with red trim around the windows and doors, and stone along the bottom. A round turret was off the back of the house and a square turret was at the front of the house. The top floor seemed to be wall to wall windows. It was a corner property, so there was a lot of yard around it. She had no idea how people could afford to live in these things. The utility bills alone must be horrendously expensive. She rang the doorbell and waited. She heard someone talking and the door opened.

The woman who opened the door quickly glanced at her, “You here for the dog?”

Lexa nodded, “Yeah, Octavia and Raven told me to come over and get him.” The woman turned and started walking back into the house with the phone stuck to her ear, so Lexa shut the door and followed her. The woman was a little shorter than Lexa, her wavy, blonde hair falling a couple inches below her shoulders. It was thick. Or it was matted, Lexa couldn’t tell. She passed a large, hairy, orange cat, sitting on the dining room table who gleefully took a swipe at her as she went by. Ugh. Cats. Lexa was solidly a dog person.

“He’s around here somewhere, chewing on something I’m sure.” The woman didn’t turn around, she just kept making her way to the back of the house.

“What’s his name?” Lexa asked as she hustled to keep up.

“I really don’t know, I have to take this call,” and with that she turned her attention back to her phone.

Lexa stared after the blonde, must be a doctor she surmised, since she was in scrubs. Or they were pajamas, maybe she was a bored housewife who just got out of bed. She looked up because the blonde was snapping her fingers at her and pointing under the dining room table. Lexa hated to be snapped at. She went over to the table and looked under it. There was the dog in question with stuffing hanging out of its mouth. He was a male, and looked like a golden retriever, though not particularly large, probably around forty-five pounds.

“Do you have a leash or something?” Lexa asked the blonde. She was rewarded with an eye roll, and another point while she continued her conversation on the phone. Lexa followed the point to the kitchen and looked around. She saw a leash and collar hanging off a hook by the door. She grabbed both and went back to the dog. She pulled a treat out of her pocket and he came over to her eagerly, at least he was food motivated. She gently collared and leashed him and looked back to the blonde, she cleared her throat, “Uh, how do you want to pay for this? We take credit cards, check, cash.”

Again the annoyance on the blonde’s face was evident. She continued her conversation, which sounded very medical, so she must be a doctor, and went into her briefcase. She pulled out her checkbook, yanked out a check, signed it and handed it over to Lexa. She looked down at it. What kind of person hands some stranger a blank check? She’s either stupidly trusting, or so rich it just didn’t matter. Lexa was going with the latter. She folded the check and put it in her pocket. “I’ll bring,” she looked down at the tag on the collar, “Oliver back around five, is that good?” She got a nod and figured she was dismissed when the woman turned her back on her. “Nice to meet you,” she mumbled under her breath as she left the house.

Lexa walked Oliver out to her van and loaded him up. She was done picking up and was heading back to the farm. She briefly thought back to the blonde she just met, well, they didn’t really meet. Barely spoke actually. Probably born with a silver spoon in her mouth judging by the house she lived in. And how could you not even know your own dog’s name?

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

When Lexa got back to the farm, she pulled around back to unload the dogs she had picked up.

Anya opened the door to greet her. “Hey, did they say when they’re dropping off that food delivery? The Hammond's were looking for a bag.”

Lexa started to take the dogs out individually. “Supposedly this afternoon.”

Anya grabbed the first one and took him over to the play area. “Incoming,” she yelled to the two girls out in the fenced area. She went back and saw Oliver, “Who’s this?”

“New client, well, at least for this week.”

“Oh yeah, cool, how’d you get them?”

“Raven and Octavia recommended us.”

“Awe man, that’s nice of them.” She looked under the hood to confirm the sex, “What’s his name?”

“This is Oliver. The chick who owns him didn’t even know his name.”

“What? How do you not know your dog’s name?”

“Right? Who knows.”

“Damn, that’s harsh, what did she say? There’s the dog?”

Lexa laughed, “Yeah, something like that. She’s some sort of doctor, rich I’m sure. Big house.”

“Snobby?”

“At first blush, yeah.”

“Guess it doesn't matter, as long as she pays.”

Lexa and Anya started the business almost eight years ago, when they were both twenty-six. At the time, they were a couple. Barely. Quickly realizing they were more suited to be friends, they went from romantic partners to business partners. 

They catered to the more well-to-do dog owners in Seattle, knowing that people would pay good money to have their dogs taken care of. Lexa had been walking dogs since she was fourteen, starting her own little business to help put food on the table. She started walking her neighbor’s dog, and word of mouth helped grow her clientele. She loved dogs, but they couldn’t afford to have one, so walking them was the next best thing. Her mom worked long, hard hours, her father she never met. Lexa was the product of a one night stand. They had money enough for food and second-hand clothes, but that was it. Nevertheless, they were happy together, and Lexa had been loved fiercely by her mother. Her mom wanted her to have a better life, wanted her to get her college degree, and since Lexa was quite an athlete, her mom encouraged her to join the sports teams in high school, with the hopes of an athletic scholarship. Their dreams were realized when she was offered a free ride to the University of Oregon for basketball.

Lexa graduated with honors with a business management degree. She knew what type of business she wanted to start. There was money to be made in the pet industry, so while in college, when it wasn’t basketball season, she volunteered at various veterinarian offices learning some basics in animal care. She learned to give shots, clip nails, and take care of various superficial wounds, all good knowledge to have if you owned a boarding kennel.

“Yo, Ontari, new dog, keep your eye on him,” Lexa shouted to one of her employees. The dogs ran in a pack around about a ten acre space. They had people in the yard with them to make sure everyone behaved. Each woman in the yard drove their own van and did their own pick-ups, brought them back to the farm and set them loose to play all day outside. The number of dogs per van varied, depending on the day of the week, and could range anywhere from five to fifteen dogs.

“Uncle Gus called, he said he would be by tonight to fix that light in the kennel,” Anya said as they both looked over the pack of dogs.

Lexa’s Uncle Gus was her mom’s big brother. He was retired now but loved to come by and do handyman work for kennel. Mostly he just putzed around, not having any other hobbies to keep him busy. Anya and Lexa welcomed him, because it meant less work for them and saved them money on repairs. All he asked for was dinner, and Lexa was happy to oblige him.

“Good, that’s been bugging me,” Lexa said.

“So what’s the doctor’s name?”

Lexa reached into her pocket and pulled out the blank check. They both looked at it.

“Why isn’t it made out?” Anya asked.

“She was too busy to fill it out.”

“Busy doing what?”

“She was on the phone, talking doctor stuff, totally ignoring me, kinda rude. Ah, Clarke Griffin.” As Lexa read the name aloud, she had a weird feeling of déjà vu. Something floated in the recesses of her memory, but she couldn’t quite grasp it.

“Rude? She was actually rude to you?”

It took a moment for Lexa to process the question, her mind still searching for something that was beyond reach. “Huh? Ah, yeah, felt that way.”

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. I just... I don’t know. Never mind.”

“So, what did she look like?”

“Blonde. Her back was to me most of the time. She did have a nice ass, though.”

“You’re crude, is that the only thing you came away with?”

Lexa laughed. She knew she only said that to get a rise out of Anya. “Well, yeah, that and the blonde thing,” she said with a smile. “Maybe I’ll get a better look tonight.”

 * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Lexa brought Oliver back to Clarke’s house at five p.m. She rang the doorbell and was surprised when the woman opened the door. She had imagined all sorts of scenarios where she would be stuck with the dog, or would have to wander around the house looking for an open door or window to crawl through, which probably would have led to an alarm going off and the cops showing up, and on and on.

Clarke watched the dog walk in the door with the brunette holding his leash. She watched as the woman took a treat out of her pocket and made the dog sit while she removed the leash. The dog stayed put until he was told “OK” and he went over to his bed and collapsed. She wasn’t sure she ever saw him actually lay down before, and she had to begrudgingly admit she was a little impressed with the sit stay.

Lexa took the blank check out of her pocket and showed it to Clarke, “I’m Lexa, didn’t really get a chance to introduce myself this morning,” because you were a tad rude, but she kept that thought to herself, “and I brought this back, since we didn’t talk about costs. Your dog’s name is Oliver by the way.”

Clarke looked at this woman, and felt she was being judged. The tone was definitely judgey. And it rankled her. She didn’t usually care what people thought, so she was surprised that it bothered her a little. “We just got him a week ago.”

“We?” Lexa asked.

“My fiancé brought him home. Unexpectedly.”

“Fiancé? Where’s your ring?” Lexa was observant, and she had noticed this morning that the woman wore no ring.

Clarke was a little taken aback. “I don’t usually wear it to work. I’m a surgeon, I don’t really need to be losing it inside a patient,” she said condescendingly.

Lexa smirked a little. “Whatever.” It was the first chance she got a really good look at the woman. And the first thing she noticed were her blue eyes. They were the color of the sky on a bright, clear day. Shame, she really was a looker, until she opened her mouth.

Clarke rolled her eyes a little, she found the woman annoying and she had half a mind to tell her to go pound sand, but then she looked over at the dog and saw how exhausted he seemed, which meant she could actually get some work done tonight without the constant interruption of chasing him around because of what he had in his mouth. “He seems pretty tired.”

“It’s called exercise, all dogs need it.”

Clarke just looked at her, trying to convey her annoyance. She quickly weighed the pros and cons of having to deal with this chick: getting judged every day vs. tired dog sleeping all night, getting aggravated by the brunette vs. not pulling things out of the dog’s mouth. “How much we talking here?”

Lexa wanted to laugh, she saw the dagger eyes she was getting right now, but she kept a straight face. “The cost for pick up and day care is forty dollars a day.”

“Jesus Christ, is child day care even that much?”

“It’s a half hour ride out here to get him, and then a half hour back to the farm,” Lexa shot back.

“Yeah, but you’re already at Raven and Octavia’s, which is fifteen minutes away.” Clarke needed to make a point. Her hackles were up a little. She was being judged by this goddamn dog walker.

Lexa took a breath and let it out. “Look, it is what it is.” As she walked away she put the blank check on the table that was in the foyer and headed for the door.

Suddenly Clarke had visions of chewed shoes, ripped up pillows and stuffing fluff all over the house from a crazy dog. “Wait.” The woman paused at the front door and looked back at her, “How about I try it for the rest of the week, and we’ll see how it goes.” She picked up the check and walked it over to her.

Lexa took the blank check, “Do you want to fill out?”

“No, you can fill it out, thanks Linda.” Clarke called a truce in her head and tried to be nice.

“Lexa.”

“What?”

“My name is Lexa.”

“Oh, sorry, Lexa.”

“Your dog is food motivated, he’s easy to train if you take the time, might make living with him a little easier.”

 _Aaand_ , the truce was off. “I’m a little busy, what with doctoring and surgery and all, so I really don’t have time to spend with the dog,” making sure her tone matched the silent fury in her head. This woman really set her off.

“Oliver, his name is Oliver. Maybe you should start with that.” Lexa was secretly enjoying baiting the beautiful doctor.

“Very funny. I’ll see you tomorrow, Linda,” and with that Clarke turned her back on the woman and walked into her kitchen.

Lexa shook her head and laughed to herself as she opened the front door and headed back to the van. She was never this combative with customers, but the blonde brought something out in her. She was already looking forward to tomorrow morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another round with the Bickersteins, I mean Clexa.

When she got back to the farm, Uncle Gus was already there fixing the light fixture. Anya was packing up to leave for the night. “You wanna stay for dinner?”

“Nah, promised the little woman I would be home early tonight.”

“OK, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Later.”

Lexa went in search of Gus. She found him rooting around in the garage looking for some tools. “Hey Gus.”

“Hey Lexa baby, how are you today?”

“I’m good, turkey burgers on the grill sound good?”

“That would be great, honey, thanks.”

“Can I help you find anything?”

“I’m just looking for a couple longer screws, wait, here we go. How’s business?” They both headed out of the garage and towards the main kennel area.

“It’s good. I have someone working on the new website. Should be up and running soon.”

“Now what will be on your website?”

“It’s gonna be like store, we’re going to sell food, treats, toys. Mostly healthy stuff, grain free.”

“In my day, we just fed them Purina.”

“I hear you Uncle Gus, I hear you. I’ll start the grill.”

“OK, hon.”

Lexa called Gus in when dinner was ready. Gus tended to be a quiet, stoic sort of guy, so conversation was sporadic. Lexa didn’t mind, she enjoyed the companionable silence. Talking all day to customers, always being "on," could be exhausting.

“Your mom would be really proud of you.”

“For what?”

“For all this,” Gus said as he waved his fork around.

“You think so?”

“I know so. You got your own business, every year it’s growing. You started out just kenneling dogs, now you have day care, walking, grooming, a storefront, and now a website.”

“Yeah, I’m thinking of maybe doing a pet sitting service too. For people who like to keep their pets in their house.”

“Yep, she’d definitely be proud.”

Lexa silently agreed with him. Her mom would be proud. She passed away nine years ago while in the hospital. She was having abdominal surgery to remove a small benign tumor in her stomach, and the surgeon on duty unknowingly clipped an artery during the procedure. By the time the doctors figured out what the problem was, it was too late. It was later found that he tested positive for drugs. He had been up for twenty hours before performing the surgery, and had taken a little something to get him through the night. Lexa and Gus brought a wrongful death suit against the surgeon and the hospital and they won. The money from the lawsuit enabled her to buy the farm which already was an existing dog kennel business. Lexa and Anya had been working at the farm already, and the owners were only too happy to sell to their favorite employees and retire to Arizona. Lexa sighed, she still missed her mom so much. She was her rock, her cheerleader. And the fact that her death could have been avoided if that surgeon had just begged off the case infuriated her. She thought back to the woman she met today and realized that was why she gave her a hard time, she was a surgeon. And surgeons reminded her of her mom. She thought maybe she should send Anya to pick up Clarke’s dog tomorrow. Every client was important, and Lexa maybe shouldn’t risk losing one because she had a beef with surgeons.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The next morning Lexa looked down at her ringing phone. Ontari, this couldn’t be good. “What’s up Ontari?”

“Lex, I woke up sick and dizzy. No way I can drive today.”

Lexa, rubbed her forehead and sighed, employees, “OK, I’ll send Anya over to get your van, feel better.”

She hung up and dialed Anya. “Hey, Ontari is sick, you’re gonna have to drive her route today.”

“Damn. Alright, I’ll leave in a few.”

Lexa hung up. Whelp, that meant she would have to do pickups again today. So much for avoiding the doctor. Maybe she wouldn’t be there, maybe the fiancé would be home instead.

 

When Lexa got to Clarke’s house, she tentatively rang the doorbell. She knew it wasn’t going to be her day as Clarke answered the door while talking on the phone again and waved her in. Lexa stepped in and followed Clarke through the foyer, keeping her eye out for Oliver. She gave a wide berth to the hissing, orange fur ball on the back of the couch.

“Hold on a sec, Monty,” Clarke pulled the phone away from her mouth and addressed Lexa, “you see him? I lost track of him about a half hour ago.”

Lexa looked a little sideways at her, why couldn’t this woman keep track of her damn dog? “I don’t see him, where was your last sighting,” she said a little sarcastically. She noticed all the different things that were sitting up on top of tall furniture, most of them in some tattered state. Seems he was a chewer. She hid a smile. She didn’t know why she found it funny that the dog was causing this woman so much angst, but she doubted Clarke would appreciate being laughed at, so she kept her smirk to herself.

Clarke pondered Lexa’s question. She scrunched up her eyes and pursed her lips as she thought back to when she last saw him.

Lexa tried to not find this particular face a little cute, because snobby surgeons cannot be cute.

“In the sun room, he was in the sun room. I was working in there and then the phone rang, and I got up and walked into the kitchen, and, shit, my briefcase is in there. Crap, crap, yesterday he chewed my hospital badge.” She took off running for the sun room.

Lexa followed at a regular pace, still looking and listening for the dog. She was already a little late because of Ontari, now this. How could a dog go missing in a house? She came upon the sun room to find Clarke on her knees.

“Monty, I gotta call you back in a few.” Clarke disconnected the call and started sifting through her briefcase. “Well, here’s the badge, that’s safe, but I feel slobber, so I know he was in here.” She looked up at the brunette and was instantly annoyed, why was she so calm? Didn’t she know she was late for work, and why couldn’t she help find the dog? She looked back down at her bag and noticed what was missing, her wallet. “Shit, it’s my wallet. He’s got my wallet. Ooohhh.” She let out a frustrated groan.

“Where does he usually like to chew stuff up? Dogs like to find a favorite spot to destroy things,” Lexa offered. She exaggerated a little, just to fan the flames, it seemed she couldn't help herself when it came to this woman.

Clarke looked at her with the most pathetically sad face. Lexa almost felt bad. Almost. “Not my wallet,” she said in a small voice. “It’s got my license in there, and my credit cards.”

Lexa thought she was gonna cry she sounded so forlorn. “Well, maybe he’ll only chew the wallet first, and leave the other stuff alone.”

“I love that wallet. It’s been with me for fifteen years.”

“Wow, that’s some longevity, don’t you ever open it?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Are you suggesting I’m cheap? Is this because I think you charge too much for picking up a dog? I’ll have you know that I am not cheap.”

“Your words, not mine,” Lexa said as she left the sun room and listened for dog noises. She made it to the bottom of the staircase, looked up, and saw a few credit cards littering the steps like bread crumbs. “I think he’s upstairs,” she called out. She didn’t want to go up alone, so she waited for Clarke.

Clarke came jogging out of the sun room and joined her at the bottom of the steps, “Crap, there’s my visa,” she groaned as she went up a couple steps and picked it up. “Not chewed,” she said as she looked back at the brunette and raised it in the air victoriously. She was drawing a blank on her name again. Lisa? Or Lou? Lea. No, Linda, right?

“Congrats on the visa, but I think Mister MasterCard has seen better days,” Lexa said, as she walked past Clarke and picked up two pieces of a credit card.

“I don’t use that one much.” Clarke brushed past her and ran up the rest of the steps. Lexa followed because she knew if the dog was found, Clarke was not going to be able to rescue her wallet.

“Found him! Linda, in here,” Clarke called from one of the bedrooms.

Lexa rolled her eyes and ignored the Linda thing. She walked into what she guessed was a spare bedroom, which was bigger than her living room. Clarke was looking under the bed, her ass sticking up in the air. Not a bad view. Now if she could just not talk.

“Here dog, come here buddy. Bring mommy her wallet, c’mon, over here.”

Lexa got on her knees next to Clarke and looked under the bed. Oliver was having a time of it with the wallet. She reached under and pulled out Clarke’s driver’s license which must have fallen out before he snuggled up against the back wall. It was none the worse for wear, she turned and went to hand it to Clarke, who was hyper focused on her slowly disintegrating wallet. “Here,” Lexa said.

Clarke tore her eyes away from the dog and looked at her, really looked at this woman for the first time. She didn’t realize she had green eyes until right now. She stared for a second or two longer than necessary, she always found green eyes so mesmerizing, ever since she was a child and met a little girl with big green eyes and long, dark lashes. She shook her head a little to break the stare and reached out and took her license. “Thank you.” She stretched out and was now flat on her stomach looking at the dog, her head in her hand. She turned to the woman again, “Guess my wallet is pretty much fucked.”

Lexa mimicked Clarke’s position. “Seems that way.”

Clarke didn’t see much sympathy in those green eyes. But they certainly were beautiful. She again had to consciously break away from their pull. She stared back at the dog. She saw that he had sufficiently softened it enough to swallow half of it. “Guess I’ll see that in the yard later.”

Lexa almost laughed out loud. But she didn’t.

“Come over here boy, doggie, c’mon boy, bring mommy the other half of her wallet. Please dog.”

The name thing was driving Lexa nuts. “His name is Oliver. Say it with me, O..l..i..v..e..r,” she said slowly.

Clarke heard the snarky tone, and gave the brunette a killer look.

Lexa was getting a kick out of antagonizing her, so she continued, she signed the name, “O-L-I-V-E-R. Oliver. Do you need me to write it down for you?”

Clarke raised one half of her lip and huffed at her. She turned back towards Oliver, but not before she had noticed that this chick had really sexy hands. Elegant, long fingers. Green eyes and sexy hands. And how did she know sign language? Was there more to her than just being a pompous ass? Probably not. She glanced back down at Lisa’s hands, or Linda’s hands. Nice, neat nails. Strong looking. Clarke had a thing for hands. Jesus Clarke, she thought, get a hold of yourself. When was the last time she had sex with Finn? She couldn’t even remember, but it might be time.

Lexa figured she’d tortured the doctor enough for one morning. She reached into her pocket for a treat and cooed at Oliver, who immediately left the tasteless leather for a piece of chicken jerky. She gently pulled him out from under the bed and stood up with him in her arms.

“Did you have treats the whole time?”

Lexa just looked down and nodded at Clarke who had rolled over on her side to look up at her now captured dog.

“So, you could have gotten him out of there before he ate my wallet?”

Lexa took a second to process that. “Guess so,” she admitted.

“Thanks a lot. I think you owe me a wallet,” Clarke said as she got up and followed the woman out of the room.

Lexa ignored the wallet comment. “As much as I’m enjoying this little adventure of ours, I’m really late now and I gotta get going.”

“You’re late? You’re late for your dog thing? I have surgery in an hour.” Clarke followed her down the hallway.

Lexa turned around as she walked down the steps. “So you’re late trumps my late, is that what you’re saying?”

“Well, I think surgery is a little more important that walking a dog.”

“We all have schedules, Clarke, may I call you Clarke? Or do you prefer Doctor Clarke? Or Doctor Griffin, or world renown surgeon Clarke Griffin.”

Clarke really got huffy now. She took a deep breath. The nerve of this, this, what’s her name. “I’m just saying, you had treats, you could have ended all this ten minutes ago, and my wallet would be in one piece, not half under the bed and half buried in dog crap later.”

Lexa wandered into the kitchen to get the dog’s leash. She attached it and put him on the ground. “Probably take three days for that wallet to make its way into your backyard.” She started walking towards the front door.

Clarke was stumped on a comeback. She just watched her walk the dog out the front door.

“Be back at five? That good?” Lexa asked as she made her way off the porch.

“I might not be here.”

“Tragedy. How do I get the dog back in the house?” Lexa asked as she kept walking.

“My boyfriend will be home.”

“You mean your fiancé?”

“That too.”

“Goodbye Clarke,” Lexa said as she continued to walk towards her van.

“Goodbye Lea,” Clarke called after her. She knew that wasn’t her name. But she decided that was going to be her thing. She was gonna call her every name in the book from now on. She was infuriated and slammed her front door shut. “Aaahh.” She walked back to get her stuff. Damn dog walker. Now she was really going to be late.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Clarke rushed into the hospital to get ready for surgery. “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she said to her surgical team.

Monty Green was scrubbing in with her for this one. They went over the patient’s file last night, so they were well prepared. “Clarke, you OK? We were gonna send the cavalry out to look for you.” Clarke and Monty were good friends, completing the same rotations together. Clarke loved him for his quiet demeanor and his unwavering patience. He was an excellent doctor and a reliable friend.

“I’m sorry, I had dog issues.”

“When did you get a dog?”

“Last week. Finn was feeling, I don’t know, heroic? So he rescued a dog. How’s Harper?”

“She’s good. I’m thinking of popping the question soon.”

“Bout time, Doctor Green, you get the ring yet?”

“No, I’ve gotta go shopping soon. I’m gonna grab you and take you with me. I have no idea what to get her.”

“I’ll help you ring shop. Maybe you should just take mine, since I barely wear it.” Monty gave her a little bit of a horrified look, “I’m kidding, I’m just kidding.”

They both finished washing up, and the nurses put their surgical gloves on and pulled up their masks. They were performing a laparoscopic hysterectomy on a woman who had benign cysts in her uterus. Their patient was prepped and ready, already fast asleep from the anesthesia. The radio was softly playing classical music. Clarke found it soothing to have it on in the background. They stood over their patient and Clarke took the scalpel and made the first small incision. She’d performed quite a few of these types of surgeries over the last year, so everything was routine to her, and she finished up in under two hours. They left the operating room when the surgery was finished, snapping their gloves off and heading to the sinks to wash up.

“Did you guys set a date yet?” Monty asked as he took off his surgical cap and ran a hand through his hair.

“September, I guess.”

“You guess? You don’t sound very excited.”

Clarke followed Monty out and they made their way to the surgeon’s lounge. She went over and got a cup of coffee and sat down on the couch. She slouched down so she could rest her head on the back cushions.

“So, what’s up with you, why you so depressed when you talk about your wedding?” Monty asked.

Clarke sighed. “I don’t know Mont, sometimes I think, I don’t wanna get married. And sometimes, I think, I don’t wanna get married to Finn.”

“Shit. When did this happen?” He sat down next to her, sipping his beverage of choice, which was Gatorade.

Clarke liked talking to Monty, he never judged her, he always listened, and only offered advice when asked. “I think now that the date is getting closer, I’m starting to feel like this more and more. I feel like I’m suffocating. Marriage is, like, forever, you know? Or at least it should be. One day I’m thinking, I’m not so sure I wanna be with him forever. But, then I wake up the next day, and I think, who cares, just get married. You get along with him, you like him, you can talk to him.”

“You love him, right?”

Clarke hesitated, “I’ve always loved him. We’ve been best friends for almost our whole lives.”

“Nobody says you have to marry your best friend. Are you _in love_ with him?” Monty asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe that’s the problem. Shouldn’t I know that? Shouldn’t I feel like I can’t live without him?”

“Well, how about this, if he left today, just left you and you’d never see him again, how would you feel? Devastated? Like you can’t go on?”

“I don’t know. I guess I’d miss him, right?”

“You’re asking me?”

Clarke just stared ahead for a few moments. Not wanting to answer any of the questions. “Ugh. How the hell did I get here.” She stood up to leave, the tension building in her head, “I’m gonna grab a bite to eat, you wanna join me?”

“Can’t buddy. I’m so behind in my paperwork, this is my only chance to get some of it done.”

“OK, well, thanks for the counseling session.” Clarke started walking toward the door.

“I don’t think I helped, but you’re welcome. And Clarke.” She stopped and turned to look back at him. “You don’t have to get married you know. Nobody can force you to get married.”

“You’d be surprised,” Clarke said as she waved goodbye and headed down the hallway towards the cafeteria. She pictured in her mind what would happen if she broke things off with Finn. Her dad would freak out for sure. Her mom would disown her probably. Well, OK, she wouldn’t disown her, but she would give her that look, the look that said, "why are you making the biggest mistake of your life." Clarke had been privy to that look many times. She hated that she couldn’t just stand up to them. She was thirty-three, why was it so hard? She hated conflict, maybe that was why. It was easier to just go along with what they wanted. She wasted so much energy when she was younger trying to buck the Griffin system, it just wasn't worth it. Besides, true love, the kind that was all encompassing, was something that existed only in the movies anyway. It wasn’t real life, it wasn’t how things really were. If you found someone you could get along with, if you found someone who had the same goals in life, who treated you decently, then you should feel lucky. There, decision made, wedding was on. Stop being an idiot, Clarke.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

When Lexa rang the doorbell at Clarke’s house at five p.m. she was a little disappointed when the boyfriend answered. She should have been relieved that she didn’t have to deal with the doctor, but that wasn’t the case. She found she enjoyed sparring with her. She’d analyze that later.

“Hey Ollie, how’s my boy? I’m Finn, you must be our new dog walker,” he said as he stuck his hand out, but not before giving Lexa the once over.

The look did not go unnoticed, and it put Lexa on guard a little bit. Lexa took his hand and gave it a firm shake, maybe firmer than usual. “I’m Lexa, nice to meet you.”

She saw him wince slightly from her grip. “Well, I have to say, he was really tired last night, so you guys must be doing great things with him.”

“Well he's getting plenty of exercise.”

“That's good, that's good. I think Clark’s upset I adopted him. Our schedules are a little crazy. Hey, do you wanna come in for a beer or something?”

Lexa knew that was not a good idea. “No thanks, I have more dogs to get home.”

“OK sure.”

“So, are you guys going to continue to use our service?”

“What did Clarke say?”

“She said she would let me know at the end of the week.”

“Oh, I guess I'll check with her. Do we have your number?”

Lexa dug into her pocket, “Here's my card. Just call me before Sunday night.”

“I will. Thanks Lexa.”

Well at least someone in the house knew her name. “You're welcome. Nice meeting you Finn.”

Lexa turned and left. What kinda name was Finn? Sounded like a privileged frat boy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver pees, Lexa sighs, Clarke rolls her eyes, and Raven needs a cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopeless and I think this new pic I have up is sooo Oliver. Problem is, I’m an idiot and can’t seem to get it sized right. Anyone with mad skills, can you help a sister out? Every time I try and re-size it, it looks like a fun house mirror.  
> edit 10:18am. The PR police told me to mention my tumblr handle: lorig11. Ok? Ok.

 

 

Clarke opened the door and let Raven in. She was lucky enough to finally have a weekend off, and they were having a celebratory lunch, compliments of the local deli. “Where’s O?” she asked.

“She had to stop over at Bellamy’s for a little bit. She’ll be here later. I got you a pastrami on rye, with thousand island dressing, your fav.”

“You are simply the best. Even though this shit will kill me someday. What did you get?”

“The usual, ham, turkey, swiss, hot mustard. I will die with you. Where’s Jinx, I got him some tuna fish. Jinx!” The large kitty came running in to see his favorite aunt. “Hey buddy, how’s my stud muffin? I got you some tuna fella.” She pulled the tuna out of a sandwich that she brought.

“Tuna’s not good for him,” Clarke said.

“It’s fine in moderation. He loves it, look at him.”

They both watched as Jinx went to town on the tuna.

“Where’s the dog?” Raven asked as she took a big bite out of her sandwich.

“He was here a minute ago. Probably chewing a door or something. We’re gonna have to redo the entire house.”

“Where’s Finn?”

“Golfing.”

“No interest in joining him?”

“Well, number one, I suck at golf. And number two, I still suck at golf, and number three, the people there are snobs.” The dog made his way back down the steps and came over to greet Raven.

“Hey boy, what’s his name again?”

“Oliver, Jesus Christ that’s been drilled into my head the last couple of days.”

“What do you mean?”

“The dog walking chick seemed to be really put off by the fact that I didn’t know his name.”

“You didn’t know his name? You’ve had him for over a week.” Raven went to the fridge and got out two bottles of water. “At least I know my dogs’ names.”

“Oh please, you can barely tell them apart.”

“I can now. It did take a couple weeks though. Ah, what’s he doing?” Raven asked, eyeing up Oliver.

“What?” Clarke looked down at Oliver, who was sniffing at the stool next to Raven. “Sniffing I guess.”

“Ah, I know that sniff, he’s gonna pee.”

“You think? He was out an hour ago and peed.”

“He’s gonna pee my frie...there goes the leg.”

“Shit, Oliver no!” Clarke went over to stop him but she was too late. He started peeing, but instead of a straight stream of urine, it was shooting in every direction.

“Holy fuck he’s got lousy aim, what’s he doing?” Raven asked as the dog’s pee went up down and all around. She hopped off her chair because some of it sprinkled up and hit her. Jinx ran screaming from the room.

“I don’t know, Jesus.” Clarke tried to grab his collar but he ran off.

“Goddamn your dog is gross. He peed in a circle. How is that possible? Is his peter broken?”

“I don’t know, can dogs break their peters?” Clarke asked.

“You’ve got the damn medical degree, not me.”

“I ain’t no vet.”

Raven wiped off the dog urine, sat back down and continued to eat. “At least he didn’t get my sandwich. Maybe you should put a diaper on him.”

“He’d just eat it. He’s like a goat.”

“I don’t know any goats who pee like that. Maybe you could teach him to write his name when he pees. Then you won’t forget it.”

Clarke finished cleaning up the mess and washed her hands. She settled in with her pastrami and rye.

“You don’t even seem upset about it,” Raven noticed. “I hate it when our dogs go in the house. They’re getting better, but they still have some accidents. Why can't they just go in a box?”

“I’ve become immune to it already. This dog pees in the house more than the yard.” She got a thoughtful look on her face. “Can’t we teach them to use the toilet? Don’t people do that?”

“I think you’re thinking of cats. People teach their cats to pee in the toilet.”

“Do they flush?” Clarke wondered if she could teach Jinx. He loved water though, so leaving the toilet seat up was a recipe for disaster. He’d be poking around in it all day, and god forbid if he learned to flush, the water bill would skyrocket.

“Fuck if I know. Speaking of kids, when you gonna set a date?”

“For what, the wedding?”

“Yes, for the fucking wedding.”

“I think we might just do it in September.”

“Jesus, that’s not a lot of time to plan.”

“It’s not gonna be that big, we’re keeping it small, close friends and family. That’s it. I’ve been hammering that home with Finn. His family wants to invite the whole universe, like five hundred people. I said, no way.”

Raven watched as Oliver came back into the room. “Here comes piss boy.” He started sniffing around the side of island they were sitting at. “Uh oh, watch it, watch it.”

Clarke looked down and once again he lifted his leg and a spray of urine went in every direction.

Before Raven could react, she got a little bit in her eye. She exaggeratedly grabbed at her face, “I’m hit, I’m hit,” she shouted. She grabbed her sandwich and jumped across the room, getting sprayed in the back in the process. “What the fuck?” Raven exclaimed as she ran into the hallway. “You need to fix that shit.”

“I don’t know what his problem is, you fix it.”

“Make Finn fix it.”

* * * * * * * * * * *

 

Octavia walked into Clarke’s house about an hour later. She went into the living room and stumbled upon Raven and Clarke sitting on the sofa next to each other. They had safety goggles on and clear, plastic rain ponchos. O just stared for few seconds without speaking, looking from one, to the other, and back again. “You cleaning up a crime scene?” They just stared back. No one spoke. Finally, Octavia broke the silence. “What are you two jackasses doing? What happened?”

Raven started speaking slowly, “It started in the kitchen.”

Octavia took a seat, she couldn’t wait for this explanation. “Please, continue.”

“It looked like your usual doggie accident. He lifted his leg to pee on the stool.” She looked to Clarke for confirmation, Clarke gave her a nod of encouragement. They both looked a little shell shocked. “The pee seemed to go everywhere, like a clogged paint sprayer. We chalked it up to an excited dog.” She again looked to Clarke, who patted her thigh for support. “But the second time, the second time it hit the ceiling. Straight up in the air. Then it took a hard right turn, I’ve never seen anything like it. I was the lucky one, got a little in my eye, my ham and cheese safe, but the pastrami,” she looked at Clarke, who slowly shook her head from side to side, her bottom lip quivered a little, boy she was looking forward to that sandwich, “the pastrami was hit. It was hit and it didn’t make it.”

O contemplated the poncho wearers. “Where’s the dog now?”

Clarke shrugged her shoulders.

“What’s his name?”

“Piss boy,” Raven said.

“Oliver,” Clarke countered.

“Oliver! Oliver, come here boy,” Octavia called. The dog wagged his way into the living room and went over to Octavia and sat down in front of her. “Are those Finn’s briefs?”

Raven nodded.

“You put men’s tighty whiteys on the dog?”

“No. We didn’t just put men’s underwear on the dog, that wouldn’t be very absorbent, would it? There’s a maxi pad shoved in there,” Clarke said.

“We didn’t have any depends, so we made do with what we had,” Raven said proudly. “You weren’t here. Talk about a fucking golden shower. He must have peed eight times in the last two hours. It went everywhere.”

“What’s wrong with him?” O asked.

“Obviously his peter’s broken,” Raven said in a huff.

“Dog’s peters don’t break. Hold on.” O got out her phone and dialed a number.

“Who you calling?” Raven asked.

“Lexa.”

“Who’s Lexa?” Clarke demanded.

Raven turned and looked at her incredulously, “Who’s Lexa? Your goddamn dog walker!”

“Oh shit, the dog police? Don’t call her, hang up O, hang up,” Clarke said as she made a grab for the phone.

O pushed her hand away and stood up, “I’m not hanging up...hey Lexa, it’s O, I’m gonna put you on speaker, hold on. OK.” She put the phone down on the coffee table.

“Hey O, how’s it going?”

“Good, good, I’m here with Clarke and Raven. Clarke’s dog has an issue.”

“An issue?” Lexa sighed. “What’s the issue?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, she heard it, she heard the sigh. O continued, “When he pees it’s shooting everywhere, right guys?” Raven and Clarke nodded.

“When’s the last time you bathed him, Clarke?”

“Bathed him? When was I supposed to bathe him?” Clarke was new to all this dog stuff, and quite frankly it was becoming overwhelming. Cats were _so_ much easier. And smarter. And cleaner.

“Dogs need baths, much like we need baths.”

Clarke leaned closer to the phone, pushing her safety goggles back up on her nose, “I can feel you judging me.” Raven and O exchanged a look.

“Your dog is young. Young dogs don’t clean themselves, he’s probably got matted hair around his penis. That’s why it’s important to groom your dog, you should also be giving him a sanitary trim. When the matted hair is there it can cause a UTI.”

“We’ve got a sanitary napkin on him right now,” Raven said.

“Sanitary trim, not sanitary napkin,” Lexa corrected.

“What?” Raven looked at Clarke who looked just as clueless. “Dumb it down for us, speak to us like we’re children,” Raven said.

“Oh, I can handle this,” Octavia said. “The dog’s little pee pee has yucky globs of matted hair around it. So when he goes tinky winky, it sprays everywhere. And because there’s mats clogging up the works, his little willy might get sicky wicky. Like an infection. Which would cause him to pee a whole lot more than normal.”

Raven nodded her head, getting it now. And she thought O was cute when she did her baby talk. She winked at her.

“That’s pretty dumbed down, did you get all that Doctor Griffin?” Lexa asked.

“I think it’s world renown surgeon Clarke Griffin to you,” Clarke huffed.

“Fair enough. Are we picking up your dog Monday? We can groom him and bathe him for you.”

“How much is that gonna cost me?” Clarke asked.

“Well, your wallet is already ripped open, so it shouldn’t be too painful for you. Ninety-five dollars.”

“Ninety-five dollars? My hair doesn’t cost that much!”

“I can tell.”

“Oh, so now I have bad hair. I see. OK, OK. I get it. What are you doing for that ninety-five dollars?”

Raven and O just kept looking back and forth from the phone to Clarke, like kittens following a tennis match. Clarke didn’t usually get this riled up.

“We give him a bath, we dry him, we trim his coat, we trim his paws, we give him that sanitary trim that he needs, we clip his nails, we express his anal glands if needed. And he goes home with a bandana.”

“Oh, well, there’s a bandana, now I get the ninety-five dollars,” Clarke said with all the sarcasm she could muster.

“And I suggest you get him to the vet to check for an infection. You do know what a UTI is, doctor?”

“I certainly don’t need you to tell me what a UTI is.”

“You can tell me,” Raven said.

Clarke looked at her, “A urinary tract infection,” she said, a little exasperated now.

Raven put her hands up, “Hey, don’t take your attraction out on me.”

“What? What attraction?”

Raven pointed at the phone and back to Clarke, wiggling her eyebrows.

Clarke gave her a look of bewilderment and whispered back, “Shut up, what are you talking about?”

“Hello?” Lexa didn’t know if they remembered she was on the phone.

“We’re still here,” O said.

“Oh renowned surgeon, are we picking your dog up Monday or not?” Lexa asked.

“Yes, I guess so.”

“Are we grooming him?”

“By all means, groom away. I’ll have to get a second job to pay for all this.”

“Good, then you can buy yourself a new wallet, and maybe find yourself a new hairdresser.”

“Very funny. I have to go.”

“We don’t. This is fun,” Raven said looking back and forth between O and Clarke.

“OK, Monday it is,” Lexa stated.

“Fine, see you then, Lisa. If I’m even home.”

“If I’m even the one picking up. O and Raven, always a pleasure girls, we should get together for dinner soon.”

Raven looked at O, “Who’s Lisa?”

Clarke mimicked Lexa silently, ‘We should get together soon,’ she mouthed to no one in particular.

O put the phone closer to her mouth, “Yeah, let’s set something up, I’ll call you next week. Later dude.” She disconnected the call.

Raven just stared at Clarke.

“What?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know about you, but I need a cigarette.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You got a serious boner for this chick.”

_“What??”_

“You heard me.”

“You think I have a boner for this chick.”

“Seems like you do.”

“I don’t have a boner, she’s, she’s…”

“Hot?”

“No! She’s, she’s…”

“Sexy?”

“She’s annoying as shit, she’s condescending and annoying. And aggravating, did I say aggravating? Cause she aggravates me. She’s lucky I’m desperate to tire out the dog, otherwise I would have told her to buzz off.”

“Hm.”

“What’s that, hm?”

“Nothing.”

“What? Just spit it out already.”

“Nothing, just, you seem to have some strong feelings there.”

“Oh please, I know what you’re doing, and you need to stop.”

“Stop what?”

“You think because she aggravates me that I’m attracted to her in some weird way.”

“Stranger things have happened. She is pretty hot looking.”

“I haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, you haven’t noticed that she’s like, gorgeous.” Raven was doubting Clarke’s powers of observation.

“No. May I remind you that I’m engaged.”

“When’s the last time you guys had sex?”

“Who, me and the dog walker?”

“ _Whooaa._ ” Raven put her hands up in the air. “I wasn’t even going there. Where did that come from?”

Clarke hesitated. She didn’t even know where that came from. “You mean Finn, me and Finn.”

“Of course I meant you and Finn, Jesus. But since we’re on the topic of you and Lexa having sex…”

“Get off the topic,” Clarke said, shaking her head.

“You could use a little somethin’ somethin’, don’t you think?”

“You’re telling me to cheat on my fiancé? With a woman?”

“You say that like you never had sex with a woman before.”

“Let’s not go there, OK? I’m serious, drop it.” Clarke was still sensitive about the last time she had sex with a woman, even though it was years ago.

“Best sex of your life I seem to recall you saying,” Raven reminded her.

“Rave, drop it,” O said, trying to soothe the situation.

Raven relented. “OK, OK. But he did cheat on you, so you should get a turn, what’s good for the goose kinda thing.”

“That’s not gonna happen. Just because he did it doesn’t mean I have to do it. And he was drunk. And he’s not sure if he even had sex with her.”

“Semantics. And you are no fun. So why don’t you like her?”

“I just gave you a list of reasons, she’s annoying, she’s condescending…”

“So, you’re saying you don’t like her because of her hubris?” O asked.

Both Clarke and Raven did a double take and looked at her. “Hubris?” Raven asked. “That’s a big word. Well, a big little word. I know you didn’t get that from JonJon.”

O puffed herself up a little bit. “Well, since you told me I was forgetting my adult vocabulary, I found this app that gives you a word of the day. And you have to use it in a sentence five times every day. And today’s word was hubris.”

“And how many times have you used it?”

“Once. But it’s early. I’ll squeeze it in another four times.”

“That’s kind of a hard word to use. Do you need my help? I can set you up, like volley you stuff where you could use it,” Raven offered.

Octavia waved her off, “No, I can do it, I can do it.”

“It’s gotta be a sentence that actually makes sense, right? Like you can’t say ‘did anybody see my hubris today?' Or, ‘check out the hubris on that chick,’ or, ‘who ate my hubris?’ or, ‘please touch my hubris.’ ”

“Well, yeah, that would be stupid if it wasn’t used correctly.”

“OK, I’m just checking.”

“O, you’re not losing your adult vocabulary, why would you tell her that?” Clarke asked Raven.

“She is, last night we were gonna have sex, and she’s taking my shirt off, she puts my arms up in the air and goes, ‘sooo big.’ ”

Clarke made a face, “Ouch.”

“Ouch? Ya think? Hard to keep a hard-on hearing that. And our bedroom is like fucking romper room right now. She brings home toys and dirty diapers and shit.”

“I forgot I put that diaper in my pocket.”

“Who forgets about dirty diapers?” Raven demanded.

“I had a poop bag in my briefcase the other day,” Clarke said.

“How the hell did that happen? And was there poop in it?”

“Yeah there was poop in it. I reached inside to get a file and there it was. I forgot I had it in there.” She looked at the girls, who were clearly horrified. “What? It’s no worse than a dirty diaper.”

“Seems worse,” Raven said under her breath.

* * * * * * * * * * *

 

Clarke and Finn were in bed Sunday night, both reading files from their respective jobs.

“John wants us to come to this charity dinner. It’s in a few months. I’m giving you plenty of notice. He’s looking at buying another practice, and wants us all there to meet and schmooze with the doc who owns it. The doc evidently has a deaf child, so the charity is for some deaf school.”

Clarke groaned, she hated John Murphy, who was Finn’s boss. “Do I have to?”

“Why? John likes you.”

“He hits on me all the time. And you don’t even care.”

“Oh, he’s harmless. You missed the last dinner we were all invited to, you owe me.”

Clarke knew she hadn’t been very attentive to Finn’s needs recently, in the bedroom and the proverbial boardroom. “OK, fine.”

“Maybe you could wear that black dress, you look great in that.”

“Well, that’ll guarantee him hitting on me.” That particular dress was slinky and low cut, hugging her in all the right places. She loved to wear it, but not around John. He made her skin crawl.

Finn considered the matter closed, expecting Clarke to come to the dinner and wear the dress. “My mom keeps asking if we’ve settled on a exact date for the wedding.”

“I don’t care, pick a date,” Clarke said as she made notes in the margin of a patient’s report.

Finn looked over at her, “You don’t care? It’s your wedding day, I thought all women cared about their wedding day,” he said jokingly.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Clarke said.

“I know, I’m just teasing you. How about September nineteenth?”

“Done.”

“That was easy.”

“What can I say, I’m easy.”

“Oh, we were supposed to tell Lexa if she was picking up the dog tomorrow. Crap, I forgot to tell you that.”

“I already told her yesterday.”

“Oh good. She’s nice, really attractive.”

Clarke glanced over to him, knowing his penchant for brunettes, “She’s gay.”

“I only said she was attractive, I didn’t mean anything else.” He heard Clarke sigh. “Speaking of easy, you wanna have sex tonight?” he asked, looking over at her with a leer.

Clarke felt her insides go a little cold. She definitely did not feel like having sex. She knew it had been a while, and this was not normal behavior. She kept chalking it up to stress and exhaustion, not allowing the thought that maybe he didn’t turn her on anymore to enter into her brain. Well, it may have entered, but she immediately kicked it out. “I’m so beat, I have surgery in the morning, rain check?” she asked hopefully.

“Sure, next time.” Finn put his file on the night stand and turned off his light. He leaned over and gave Clarke a chaste kiss on the lips. “Good night babe.”

“Good night.” She looked over at him as he instantly fell asleep. She was jealous, she usually tossed and turned for a good bit before falling asleep. His hand was laying on her thigh. She looked at it and thought about Lexa’s hands. In her mind, she compared the two and found his lacking. She was surprised at herself for having such thoughts, what the hell made her think of that woman’s hands? She shook her head and tried to concentrate on her surgery for tomorrow. She would be up and out early tomorrow, so she wouldn’t even see Lexa. There she was again, on her brain. OK, enough. C’mon Clarke, back to tomorrow’s surgery. After about fifteen minutes her eyes started to close and she was nodding off. She put her work down and shut off the light. The last thought in her head was of green eyes.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

The next morning, Lexa sat at her kitchen table eating breakfast. Her two dogs sat staring at her as she ate, hoping for an errant scrap to fall from her plate. “You guys already ate, now stop begging.” They both laid down on the ground and cocked their heads, hoping to look pathetic enough for a little charity from mom. “Nope, won’t work. Sorry for your luck boys.” Yogi and Milo were at a local shelter when Lexa found them six years ago. She had recently lost her previous dog, so the timing was right. They were pit bulls, and two of the sweetest dogs she had ever met. Yogi was gray with blue eyes, and Milo was black and white. It was unclear if they were brothers, or simply roaming around the city together. Lexa didn’t want to separate them, so she adopted them both. “C’mon boys, let’s go outside, let me eat in peace.” She got up to let them out the back door, then sat back down to finish her breakfast and read the online paper.

She lived in the cottage that was out behind the main farmhouse. It was a modest two bedroom, two bath living space, with a nice sized eat-in kitchen, and a small cozy living room with a fireplace. It was the perfect size for what she needed. They had converted the front part of the single-story farmhouse into a storefront and business offices, and the back housed the kennels for their overnight boarders. The large, heated barn stored most of their supplies and food. It had an indoor ring for the dogs when the weather was bad, and this was Seattle, so there was a lot of bad weather. She had a security camera system set up throughout the complex so that she could monitor every corner of the property from her phone or laptop. She had her computer open now, making sure all the dogs in the kennel were OK.

Anya popped her head in, “Yo, I didn’t hear from you so I assume Ontari is better?”

“Yeah, she said she was good to go.”

“Good.” Anya got a bowl out of the cabinet and poured herself some cereal. “You look tired, didn’t you sleep?”

“I tossed and turned a lot, had a funky dream.”

“What funky dream?”

“My mom was still alive and she kept telling me to take her to the hospital to see a doctor, so I take her and the doctor ends up being none other than our new client.”

“The snobby one?”

Lexa nodded her head, finishing up her breakfast and taking her plate to the sink to wash it off.

“Wow, why’s she on your mind?”

“I wouldn’t say she’s been on my mind. I barely know her, and what little I do know I don't like. It’s just one of those weird things I guess. Anyway, I woke up from that and couldn’t fall back asleep. That was three a.m.” What Lexa left out was the fact that the dream got a little sexy before she woke up. She was making out with the good doctor in her dream. Then kissing led to other things, and before she knew it, Clarke was going down on her.

“Oh man, that sucks. You picking up her dog today?”

Lexa was lost for a moment in her day time fantasy of blue eyes and plump lips doing all sorts of illicit things to her body.

“Helloooo.”

“Huh?” It took a minute for Lexa to come back from her daydreaming. “What?”

“Jesus, wake the fuck up. Are you picking up her dog today?”

“No, I gave it to Jenna.” Lexa didn’t do pick-ups every day, usually twice a week, freeing her up to work on the payroll and other things back in the office.

Anya nodded her head and then she kept nodding it. “You sure that’s all that happened in that dream?”

“What? What are you talking about?” Lexa asked.

“Nothing.” Anya started to grin.

“What?”

“Dude, we used to be in a relationship, I know your looks.”

“What look?” Lexa asked.

“Your sex look.”

“We weren’t in a relationship long enough for you to know my sex look.”

Anya feigned hurt, “Ouch, that wasn’t very nice. Say you’re sorry and mean it.”

“No. And I don’t have a sex look.”

Anya smiled and slapped the table, “You sure as shit do. Did you have sex with the good doctor in your dream last night?” She put her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand, hoping for some nitty, gritty details.

“Fuck off.”

Anya started laughing. “You so did. You had a sex dream about the stuck-up doctor. Oh, this is too funny.”

Lexa was caught, and she tried to hide her grin. She felt a flush go up her face.

“And now you’re blushing. Wow, that must’ve been some dream.”

“Ok, enough. Obviously, I need to get laid. It’s been a while.”

“Speaking of getting laid, Luna has someone she wants you to meet.”

“Ugh, please don’t set me up, I don’t want to be in a relationship right now.”

“That’s the beauty of it. Neither does this chick. Her name is Costia, she’s got blonde hair and brown eyes, she's pretty, and she’s in the same boat as you, doesn’t want anything serious. So, come over for dinner and meet her. Then maybe you won’t be having X-rated dreams about our customers.”

Lexa relented, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have something casual right now, just to take the edge off. “Ok. I’ll meet her.”

“Yes!”

“Alright, calm down, it’s not that big of a deal. Listen, I’m going to the school today, so if you can close up, that would be great.” Lexa visited the Northwest School for the Deaf at least once a week, taking Yogi and Milo, who were both certified therapy dogs.

“No problem. How many overnights do we have?”

“Just five today. Should be a light load.”

Lexa got a tremendous amount of satisfaction going to the school. She had been going for five years now. Her girlfriend at the time, Sydney, was a teacher there, and thought the kids would get a big kick out of the dogs. The students would practice reading out loud to the dogs, knowing they wouldn’t care if they sounded a little funny, or mispronounced their words. It gave them confidence to keep trying and hone their verbal communication skills. Even after their relationship ended, Lexa kept going. She loved all the students, but she did have a favorite. Aden. He’d been at the school for three years now, and took an instant liking to her. They bonded over sports, especially football, since they were both big Seahawk fans. Lexa became proficient at signing so they could communicate better. His parents Jasper and Maya were thrilled with the friendship between their son and Lexa, and had her over for dinner about once a month. They allowed her to take Aden with her occasionally when she would walk dogs over the weekend. They had no problem with her being gay, and a hot topic was always who she was dating at the time, and when would she find the right someone to settle down with. And Aden, who was twelve, often times would point out beautiful women to Lexa when they would be out walking, signing, “how about that one?” Lexa would just duff him on the head and sign back, “mind your own business.” They had a very big sister, little brother dynamic to their relationship, even though they were separated by over twenty years.

“When’s the website gonna be done? I thought that guy said a month,” Anya said.

“I know, don’t remind me. I think he’s a flake.”

“Well, what did you expect, he’s Ontari’s cousin. Has he done anything new in the last two weeks?”

“No.”

“Maybe it’s time to can his ass,” Anya said.

“You may be right. Who we gonna get to finish it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Raven knows somebody. Ask her next time you see her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you seen the new website, www.lexaspinoff.com? It’s awesome! Check it out. And, yours truly was asked to write a short story that appears under 'creativekru.' And it's in fucking canon. And, I don't drop the F bomb. Well, once, I did, but it was in grounder. So, it really doesn’t count, right?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maya plays matchmaker and the girls walk their dogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to Hopelesshearteyes, who was forced to read this almost as many times as the wife.

“Hey, you, c’mon in,” Maya said as she opened the door.  

It was Lexa’s monthly dinner with the Jordan’s.   She gave Maya a big hug and a kiss. “Hey girl, brought some dessert.” She handed Maya a cake box filled with cupcakes.  “Where’s my little dude?”

Maya took the dessert box, “He’s in the living room.”

Lexa made her way to the living room.  She always loved this house.  It was a small home in a quaint neighborhood, surrounded by mature trees and quiet streets. Built in 1920, it had loads of character and charm. And Maya had the Midas touch when it came to decorating. She shopped in second hand stores and thrift shops, always finding that perfect something that just worked.

Lexa peeked into the living room, and as soon as Aden saw her he gave a “whoop,” and jumped up to hug her.  He was thin and wiry, with a mop of light brown hair. “What are you up to?” Lexa asked and signed at the same time.

“Nothing, waiting for you.”

Lexa smiled at him and ruffled his hair.  “Here, I found this for you” and Lexa handed him a new game for his Xbox.

His eyes lit up and he gave her a hug with an extra squeeze.

“OK, wow, you’re getting strong, dude.  Ease up, you’re gonna break my ribs.”

His excitement was evident, “Thank you! Can we play after dinner?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure, if your mom lets us. Hey, I got a lead on some Seahawks tickets next season. I’m gonna get two, and I was wondering if you knew somebody I could take with me,” Lexa said, with mock seriousness.

He playfully punched her in the gut, eliciting a grunt from Lexa.

“Me, dork,” he said.

“You, why would I take you, dink?”

“Because I’m your only friend.”

“You are not my only friend.  I have lots of friends.”

“Name one.”

“Give me a minute.”

“Times up.”

“That wasn’t a minute.  But OK, I guess I can take you, as long as you buy me a beer.”

“Done,” he said with a giggle, obviously knowing that was not gonna happen.

Jasper poked his head in from the kitchen, “What are you two kids talking about?” His dark, wavy hair flopped in his eyes a little, and his scruffy goatee gave him a devilish look.

“Lexa’s taking me to a Seahawks game,” Aden said with twinkle in his brown eyes.

“So, you’re spoiling him again,” Jasper said.

“Of course I am, it’s my right as his almost aunt.”

Jasper came over and gave her a hug.  “Steaks on the barbie tonight,” he said in a playful Australian accent.

“Sweet!  Need any help?”

“Nah, got it under control.”  He went back into the kitchen and out onto the deck where the grill was set up and smoking.  Jasper loved his stainless-steel grill.  No matter the weather he was always out there grilling. He had his apron on, a gift from Lexa, and it said, ‘the grillmaster.’ He rigged a big umbrella over it to offer some protection from bad weather. Yes, neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow would keep Jasper from grilling.

Maya headed into the kitchen and began tossing the salad, “I saw Anya the other day.”

“Oh yeah, where?”

“At the Home Depot.  She said she set you up with someone a couple weeks ago?”

“What? Oh, yeah, she did.” Lexa picked up a carrot and popped it into her mouth.

“And?”

“Nothing, the woman was nice, Costia, we’ve gone out a couple times.  Nothing serious. Very casual.”

“Oh good, so you’re not, like, off the market or anything?”

Lexa poked around in the fridge for a beer. “Off the market?  I don’t really think I put myself back on the market yet.”  She opened her beer and took a sip.

“Yeah, but you’re willing to try again, I mean, you’ve gone out on a couple dates."

“What are you getting at?”  Lexa was confused by Maya’s line of questioning.  She wandered out to the dining room and noticed the place settings.  Five.  She went and poked her head around the doorway, “What did you do?”

Maya looked at her and started to giggle.

“Oh, no, tell me you’re not setting me up.”

Maya turned back and began cutting up some veggies for the salad.

“Maya?” Lexa whined. She was being ignored.  “Maya?”

“What?  I may have invited someone over.  A single someone.  A woman who happens to be single.”

“Oh Christ,” Lexa said. “You’re killing me.” There had been a couple times in the past where Maya took things into her own hands, thinking she could find Lexa the perfect woman.  Usually it turned out to be an unmitigated disaster. Lexa had no idea where she would find these women. She pictured Maya canvassing potential lesbians at REI, asking if they were single and if they’d be interested in meeting her good friend.

Jasper poked his head in, “Potatoes are done, steaks next.”  He smiled and looked at Lexa.

“Your wife is killing me.”

“Relax Woods, you know she thinks of herself as some sort of modern day Cupid. It’s her romantic nature.”

Lexa groaned just as the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” Maya said cheerfully.

Lexa raised her eyebrows at Jasper, who was clearly enjoying her discomfort.  “Where’d she find this one?”

“Don’t know, I think through someone at work.” He gave her a wicked grin and went back to his barbie.

Lexa steeled herself to meet the fix-up.  She took a deep breath, put on a small smile, and hoped for the best.

Maya came bouncing into the dining room, random lesbian in tow.  Lexa’s first impression was of an imp.  The woman’s blonde hair was full. And that was being kind.  It was very bushy and curly, and overly large for her body.  She only stood about five feet two inches.  If you included her hair, she was about five foot six. She was thin and frail looking. Her face was heart-shaped and her eyes were blue. But not sky blue, like a certain doctor, more just dark blue and not really remarkable.  In fact, the whole impression was not very remarkable.  She sighed a little, knowing it had the potential of being a very long evening.  She tried to stay positive.

Maya took her coat and made the introductions.  “Marcie, this is Lexa, Lexa, Marcie.”

Marcie reached out a hand and gave a firm shake, her eyes wide and unblinking, freaking Lexa out a little.  She continued to shake and Lexa thought her arm was going to fall off. Little thing was stronger than she looked.  “Good to meet you Lexa. I’m Marcie, short for Marcella.” 

“Marcella? That’s beautiful.”

“Thank you, Lex, what’s that short for, Alexa? No, Alexandria, right?”

“Ah, yes, it is.” Lexa finally got her arm back.

“Well, that’s beautiful too, but quite a mouthful I imagine.”

Lexa had her smile frozen on her face now, “Yes, yes, it is a mouthful.”

Aden came wandering in and Maya introduced him as well. “This is our son, Aden.  He’s deaf, but he reads lips well, so don’t worry about him following our conversations.”

Marcie took Aden’s hand and the shaking began all over again.  “Hello Aden,” she said in a loud voice, over enunciating. 

Aden shared a look with Lexa and she almost laughed. Poor guy wanted his arm back, but he was a good kid and knew it would be rude to yank it from the shaker’s grasp.

“Hello,” he said.

Jasper poked his head in and made a quick intro before heading back out to his steaks.

Maya bustled everyone into the dining room, “Dinner is almost ready, how about we all take a seat. Marcie, what can I get you to drink?”

“Do you have any sparkling distilled water?”

Maya wasn’t quite sure what that was. “Ah, we have bottled water.”

“No, god, you hear all those stories about how bottled water is really not even treated. You should really check the caps on those bottles, I heard some companies just refill old bottles, then sell them like new. I think that happened in Wisconsin.”

“How about a beer, or wine?”

“No, I’m gluten-free and non-alcoholic.”

“How about juice, we have some juice in here?”

“Is it sugar free?  Sugar will kill us all someday, right Alexandria?”

Lexa had mentally nodded off after the bottled water explanation, “Ah, sorry?”

“Sugar, it’s totally bad for you.”

“Oh, that’s what I hear.”

Maya still had her head buried in the fridge, “How about a soda?” she asked, knowing there was no way that would pass muster, but threw it out there anyway.

“I had a friend of mine give up soda and she lost fifty pounds.”

Lexa was a little dumbstruck, “Fifty pounds? How much soda did she drink?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

Maya was out of options, she threw out the last resort, “Tap water?” she asked hesitantly.

“Oh, that’s fine.”

Maya shook her head, tap water was the least filtered thing in the house.

Everyone took their seat and Jasper began to bring the food in and set it on the table,

“So, Alexandria, what do you do?” Marcie asked.

“I walk dogs,” Lexa threw out, hoping she would be as turned off as Clarke.  Clarke? Now was not the time to be thinking about Clarke.

Maya was quick to jump in, “Lexa owns a dog kennel, she doesn’t just walk dogs,” she said giving Lexa an evil eye, as evil as she could, because she was one of the sweetest people that Lexa had ever met.

“Oh, that’s great,” Marcie said.  “I’m a cat person.”

Lexa smiled at her, “That’s nice, I assume you own a cat?”

“I have eight of them.”

“Eight of them? Wow, you must have a big house,” Jasper said.

“Oh, no, I live in a two bedroom apartment. Six hundred square feet.”

Lexa stared at her, half expecting one of her cats to pop out of her hair.  “Wow, that’s a small space for so many cats.”

Marcie started giggling, and it sounded like machine gun fire to Lexa, who inwardly winced.  “It does get a bit crowded, yes. Do you like cats Alexandria?”

“I’m pretty much a dog person, to be honest with you.”

“Oh.” The disappointment was clear on Marcie’s face. “You’ve never owned a cat?”

“Nope.” Lexa gave her the sweetest smile she could muster.

“OK, let’s eat before it gets cold, shall we?” Jasper said.  He began putting a steak on everybody’s plate.

Marcie held her hand over hers though. “I’m vegan.”

Jasper was clearly devastated.  He loved to share his grilled meat with guests. He tried to put on a happy face as he placed the plate back on the table.

Maya handed her the potatoes, “Try some potatoes then, Jasper grills them and they’re delicious.”

“I’ll just pass, starchy carbs turn right to sugar, don’t they Alexandria?” 

“I guess so,” Lexa said.  She had never met a potato that she didn’t like. She looked across the table at Aden.

He signed, “Pass the butter Alexandria.”

She bit back a grin, but Maya was quick to correct him.  “Aden, sign and speak buddy, we have guests.”

“Bread?” Jasper asked with trepidation.

Marcie got a case of the giggles, “You’re funny, no, I’ll just have the salad.”

Maya passed her the salad and they all watched as Marcie poked through the bowl, flicking this and that aside, croutons were pushed to the bottom, cucumbers piled up to the right, carrots to the left.  When she was done picking out what she wanted, she passed the bowl to Lexa, who looked at Marcie’s plate, which housed about two leaves of lettuce.

“Dressing?” Maya asked.

“No, this is fine.  It looks delicious,” Marcie said, as she began to cut up her lettuce into tiny pieces.

When Lexa reached for the salad dressing, she locked eyes with Maya, who gave her an apologetic look.

 

The Jordan’s were sitting in the living room a couple of hours later, waiting expectantly for Lexa to return from the front door.

Lexa came walking slowly back into the room, and plopped down on the couch next to Aden.  They all just sat for a moment in silence, each lost in their own thoughts about the evening.

Maya was the first to speak.  “So?  What did you think?”

Jasper and Aden snickered. 

Lexa took a deep breath, absently twirling a finger in her hair, “Well, she was...very nice. But I don’t see it going any further.”

“Is it the vegan thing?” Jasper asked.

Lexa cocked her head to one side with a thoughtful look. “No, I don’t think it was that.”

“She had really big hair,” Aden signed.

“Yeah, it was big, but no, it wasn’t that,” Lexa said.

“She was blonde, and had blue eyes, you always said that was your favorite.”  Maya was reaching.

“Yes, she did have blonde hair and she did have blue eyes.”

“She doesn’t eat potatoes, was it that?” Jasper asked, obsessed with the food issues.

“No, I know a lot of people who don’t eat starchy carbs.”

“She has a lot of cats,” Aden noted.

“She does have a lot of cats, buddy, you’re right. But for the right person, I could put up with that. Well, maybe not eight of them.”

“She had an unhealthy obsession with sparkling water,” Jasper added.

“She did have strong opinions about water purification,” Lexa said, nodding slightly.

“She didn’t eat your cupcakes.”  Jasper was determined to get to the bottom of the reason why it was a no go.

“Well, my middle name is chocolate, and I was wounded when she refused one, but no.”

They sat again in silence.  Mulling over all these revelations.

“You see,” Lexa started, “all of those things, by themselves, don’t seem like much.  However, once we put them all together, in one person,” she made a motion with her hands, a blending motion, and looked around the room, nodding at her audience, “it becomes too much.”

They all acted serious for a moment, then burst out laughing.

“You really need to screen these women better, honey,” Jasper said as he caught his breath.

“I’m so sorry, Lexa.  Rita at work said this woman was really funny and attractive, and would be perfect.”

Lexa smiled at her, “It’s OK.  I appreciate the effort, I really do.”

“Next time, I promise, the next woman who you have dinner with here, will be the one.  How’s that. I promise.”

Lexa laughed. “OK, OK.”  She raised her beer, “Here’s to next time, when I’m sure to have dinner with the woman of my dreams, right here in the Jordan house.”   

*** * * * * * * * * * ***

 

_Clarke pulled back from the kiss and stared into green eyes, that were dark, almost black, with lust.  Now lips on her neck, nibbling and sucking, hands caressing across her breasts, lips following hands, Clarke gasping as she felt teeth grazing her nipples, one after the other, hands across her stomach traveling lower and long slender fingers slipping inside her panties.  An index finger stroking back and forth across her clit, soon a tongue replacing the finger…_

Clarke woke up with a start, her eyes snapped open, her breathing a little labored.  Holy shit.   She rubbed at her face as the vestiges of her dream hovered on the periphery of her brain.  She lay still for a moment, trying to clear her head.  She was a little groggy, but she swore she could still feel a tongue.  Slowly she realized that Oliver was licking her toes.  “Oh my god, _Oliver_ ,” she whispered, and she jerked her toes away from him.  He looked up at her wagging his tail, the thump, thump, thump on the bed showing his adoration.  She looked over at Finn, who was still sleeping peacefully.  Jinx was on the other side of her purring contentedly. 

Clarke sighed and put her pillow over her face, groaning softly.  Why did she have to be so gorgeous?  And no way was she ever going to admit that to Raven.  This was the third dream in the last week.  What the fuck?  Was she so sexually starved that she had to dream about a woman who she knew nothing about?  Who, despite the gorgeous part, got under her skin?  And she hadn’t even seen her for a couple weeks because she had been leaving early, so why was she even on her mind?  As she lay there quietly pondering her questions, she reached a hand down between her legs and touched herself.  She yanked it back like it was burned. Holy shit she was wet.  She glanced again at Finn, who always slept like a rock.  She could really use an orgasm right now.  Should she wake him up?  After the other dreams, she had just laid there, tossing and turning and not going back to sleep.  She had a full day tomorrow, she needed sleep. 

She reached back down and began touching herself, deciding to take care of business alone.  Jinx was having none of this and he hopped off the bed, deciding to leave the voyeurism to the dog.  She kept trying to think of Finn, hoping to expedite the process, but you-know-who kept popping into her mind.  She decided to just go with it and let her mind wander, picturing emerald green eyes staring at her, beautiful hands touching her, a beautiful mouth kissing her.  She tried to be quiet as she brought herself to climax, tried to keep her body still.  Oliver wiggled himself up towards her, panting and wagging, cocking his head at the little noises she was making.  When she was finished, she removed her hand and closed her eyes.  She just masturbated in front of her dog.  Surely this was a new low.  Her eyes were starting to feel heavy so that was good.  Sleep was coming for her, and within minutes she was blissfully down for the count.

* * * * * * * * * * *

 

On Saturday morning, Clarke was having her coffee, and every once in a while, her mind wandered back to her dream from a few nights ago.  She rarely had sex dreams.  This was unfamiliar territory for her.  God, those green eyes.  So beautiful.   Green eyes, green eyes.  But why?  Why this woman, at this time?  She sighed and was startled out of her thoughts when her phone rang.   “Hey Rave, what’s up?”

“Dude, sunny day today, let’s head to the park and take a walk.”

Clarke thought about what she had planned today.  Laundry, vacuuming, paperwork, “What time?”

“How about in an hour?”

“OK.”

“We’re bringing the dogs, bring Oliver.  That’s why you have dogs, to walk on a sunny day.”

Clarke was not sure she was ready for the workout of walking the dog, who usually just pulled her arm out of her socket. But, she didn’t get out for any runs this week, so she should get some exercise.  “OK, I’ll bring him.”

“Cool, see you in a bit.”

When Clarke pulled into the parking lot, she spotted Raven and Octavia waiting for her by the benches.  She got Oliver out of the car and headed over to them.  

“Hey girl,” Raven said as she gave her a hug.

“Hey, guys.”

“What a wonderful day,” O said, adjusting her backpack.

“A backpack, wow how long is this walk?” Clarke asked as she gave Octavia a kiss on the cheek.

“Best to be prepared, Clarke.”

“What all you got in here,” Clarke said as she unzipped and poked around, hoping for a bottle of water since she was already thirsty.  She took an inventory.  “Hm, juice boxes, energy bars, bibs, no water?  Oh, but there’s diapers, that’s helpful.”

“And that is our life in a nutshell, or a backpack.  Juice boxes, bibs, and diapers, at least it’s a clean one,” Raven said.

“There’s water in there, keep digging. I use this for work, when I take the kids out. You have to be ready for anything when you got three little ones running into things, and bouncing off pavements and stuff.”

Clarke kept rooting around in the bag and finally found a bottle.  Oliver started bouncing up and down, grabbing at the leash and holding it in his mouth, playing tug of war with Clarke.   “Oh Jesus, calm down buddy.”

“Get a hold of your dog there Clarke, you’re the boss, not him,” O said.

“Oh please.  He is so the boss of me.” Clarke reached down and gave him a nice scratch behind the ears.  He sat down and began air scratching in ecstasy, making Clarke laugh.

“Did I tell you what happened when I tried to walk these two by myself last week?” Raven asked as they joined the multitude of other outdoor enthusiasts on the trail.

“Oh, this is rich,” O said.

“No, you neglected to tell me that story.”

“Well, I take the two of them to this very park, and you know I have a bad leg...”

Clarke looked puzzled.  “You mean your knee?”

Raven nodded.

“The one you had ACL surgery on ten years ago?  The one that causes no discernible limp?”

“Yes, that knee, it still aches my friend.”  

Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend’s exaggeration.  “Oh please.  Continue.”

“So, I’m walking them, and there’s this other dog about half a mile away, and my two monsters take off, just literally take off.”

“How did they take off if you were holding the leashes?”

“Good question, Clarke,” O said.

“Because they’re strong as fuck.   And I might have been checking out some chick that had just run by me, in spandex, who looked fabulous by the way.”

O shoved her.  “You never told me that.  No sex for you tonight.”

“So, you weren’t paying attention,” Clarke clarified.

“Oh, I was paying attention, just not to the dogs.  So, before I knew it, I’m on the ground, the ground Clarke, holding two leashes, and my two fuckers are pulling me like a sled.  I was a fucking sled.”

“Serves you right,” O said.

“Your dogs aren’t that big.  How in god’s name were they able to pull you?”

“Gravity.  Momentum, I don’t know.  I’m being dragged along the asphalt.  Finally, they got tired after about a hundred yards.”

“They pulled you a hundred yards?  I find that hard to believe.”

“True story. They got tired, I get up, and I’ve got blueberries from my stomach to my cooter.”

“You mean raspberries.”

“What the fuck ever. Raspberries, blueberries. There were brush burns from here to here,” Raven said as she motioned between her belly to middle of her crotch.  “My damn cooch hair actually rubbed off.  It looked like a reverse landing strip down there.”

“Don’t you shave that anyway?”

“I keep it tightly trimmed, there’s still a little there though.  Or was, cause the little that I had was GONE.  I had a hairless cooter.   Looked like I had a chilean or something.”

“You mean a brazilian?”

“What the fuck ever, Clarke.   It was bald.  My cooch was bald, and bloodied.  It was like a Rizzoli and Isles episode in my underpants.  There was blood in my underpants.  I had gravel inside me. Like, up in there.”

“Oh boy.”

“Is that all you got to say?  Oh boy.”

“What do you want me to say? Ouch?  There, I said it, ouch.”

“It hurt!”

“I don’t know what more you want from me, other than saying ouch.”

“How about a little sympathy, a little bedside manner, Doctor Griffin.”

“OK.  I’m sorry your cooter got into an accident.  How is she doing now?”

“She’s gross.  Starting to scab, oozing still in spots.  It’s goddamn unsightly. Octavia can’t even look at it."

Octavia nodded, “Trudat.”

“When we have sex, she closes her eyes when she goes past my navel.”

Octavia continued to nod, “I can’t deny it. I really can’t.”

Clarke started to get unwanted pictures in her head.  “Eww.”

“There’s probably something wrong with it. You should look at it.”

“I don’t wanna look at your hooch.”

“What good is it to have a friend who’s a doctor if they won’t look at your hooch?  What if it’s infected?”

“I highly doubt your hooch is infected.”

“It’s still oozing.”  

“Oh for Christ’s sake, let me look at it.”  The girls looked around for a tree, finding a nice large pin oak for cover.   Raven checked to make sure no one was nearby and she pulled her tight-fitting yoga pants away. Clarke peeked in, jumped back and gasped.  “Oh my god!”

“What?!  What?  I told you something was wrong with it.”

“Let me see it again.” Clarke took another peek. “Oh my god, oh my god.” She turned away, biting her knuckle, looking quite horrified.  She went back for more, “Oh my god in heaven.”

“OK, this isn’t fucking Jaws, exaggerator.  Is it infected? It’s a staph infection, isn’t it?  Or mrsa, I’ve got mrsa in my cooter.”

Clarke started laughing at her. She grabbed Raven’s waistband and snapped it back at her.

“Ouch.”

“You nerd, put some neosporin on it for god’s sake.  You’re fine.  Drama queen.” Oliver pulled her to stop so he could relieve himself.  

“I hope you have a poop bag.”

Last week she was walking Oliver around the neighborhood, and he pooped on someone’s lawn.  There was a woman pushing a stroller across the street from her who gave her a death stare.  Clarke was new to dogs, and had never received the ‘you’re picking that up, right?’ stare.  She had no poop bags, so she had to do the walk of shame, returning to the scene of the crime with a plastic bag to pick up the mess left behind by her pooch.  Now she knew, never leave home without it. “I do, I remembered to bring one.  Go me.”

“Just one?  What if he goes again?” Raven asked.

“Do they usually go twice?”

“Sometimes they get excited and they go a lot. Roscoe here went four times on me once.  Try picking up four loads with one bag.  But I did.”

“You have mad skills. Mad baggin’ of the poop skills,” Clarke said with fake admiration.

“Well, I always travel with about ten bags now. You should just put a handful in every jacket you own.”

“Great, more things in my fucking pocket. Dogs are so much more work than cats.”

“You cursing more Clarkie, you seem to be cursing more,” O observed.

“I curse when I hang around this one,” she said pointing at Raven. “It’s like a virus, it’s like World War Z, only it’s World War F.”

“Don’t blame me for your foul language.”

“Oh, I’m blaming you. Two weeks ago, when you met me for lunch at the hospital, all effin' this and effin' that, I go back to my eight year old patient, and I drop the F bomb on him.  He didn’t know what hit him.”

“Oh, bad form Clarke,” O said.

“Thank god his parents were at the vending machine.”

“What are the odds you left the room and that kid said fuck?” Raven asked.

O, being the closest thing to an expert amongst the group, had the answer. “Kids are very impressionable, I’d say the odds were over sixty percent.”

“Way to be a role model, Clarke.”

“I don’t like you right now.”  Clarke switched hands with the leash, she felt like she was getting a separated shoulder from Oliver yanking her around.  She wondered if he pulled Lexa around. Probably not with those strong hands…

“You sleep with Lexa yet?” Raven asked, as if reading her mind.

Clarke hoped her slight blush wasn’t visible. “God, you’re ridiculous.  I don’t want to sleep with a woman who I don’t like.”

“Oh, so you _would_ sleep with a woman, if I found one you liked.”

“You hard up for a toaster oven or something?” Clarke asked, shaking her head at the tenacity of her friend.  “I’m getting married for god’s sake, I’m not sleeping with any women.”

“How’s Finn?” O asked.

“He’s good thank you for asking Octavia.  I like you and only you right now.”

“I talked to her this week, and I’m gonna be helping her with her website,” Raven said.  They all stopped as Roscoe now relieved himself.  “I don’t get why you don’t like her.  She’s so cool.  You like everybody.”

Clarke had no easy explanation for her friend.   She didn’t know why Lexa rubbed her the wrong way.  Or why she entered her dreams too many times.  Or made her want things she shouldn’t want.  No, don’t think about that.  Don’t ever admit that out loud.  “I don’t know, I just don’t.”

“You’re kinda snarky around her. I mean, you’re one of the nicest people I know, but around her, it’s like, I don’t know, Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”

“Well, it’s pretty clear she doesn’t like me either, so can we just drop it?”

O changed the subject. “Hey Clarkie, come to the bar with us tonight.”

“Yeah, bring that engaged ass of yours to the bar,” Raven said.

Clarke gave some serious thought to that idea. “Finn’s going to poker night at his boss’s house.”

“Perfect, you’re coming out.  Not literally.  Unless you want to.  And leave your ring at home...just kidding...no I’m not...yes I am,” Raven teased, grabbing Clarke around the shoulders and giving her a good shake and a kiss on the cheek.         

*** * * * * * * * * * ***

 

_“We’re gonna be late,” Clarke said._

_“I know, I know.”_

_“You’re mom freaks out when we’re late.”_

_“I know.”_

_Clarke and Finn were driving to the Collins residence for Thanksgiving dinner.  It was “their” holiday, always hosting at least twenty people for dinner.  The last couple of years Clarke’s family was invited also, so it was a big family event._

_Finn looked over at Clarke. “So my dad and I golfed with this guy today, John Murphy.”_

_“Oh yeah?”_

_“Yeah, he’s a plastic surgeon.  Owns a clinic here and in Portland. Guy screams money.”_

_“Cool, if you’re into that I guess.”_

_“He has a boat, and he owns a house in Baja, Mexico, on the beach.  Said we can use it if we ever want to get away.”_

_“Wow, you golfed with him once and he’s already letting you stay at his house?”_

_“He seems like a good guy.  I’m gonna golf with him next weekend too.  We kinda hit it off.  He thinks I should just bite the bullet and join the club.”_

_“We’re still just residents, we can’t afford that place.”_

_“Well, my dad is willing to help. You know he expects me to join someday anyway. What do you think?”_

_“It’s up to you, if that’s what you want, then do it. I know you love to golf.”_

_“Really?  Great.  What did you do this morning?”_

_“Nothing much, just went for a run.”  Clarke wasn’t being totally truthful.  She did go for a run, but she also had spent a couple hours at the nursing home.  Her grandmother used to live there, but had passed last year, losing her eight year battle with Alzheimer’s.  She was named after her Gram, Evelyn Clarke, her dad’s mom. She had always been Clarke’s safe haven, the one person in the family who never pushed, never demanded, and accepted her for who she was, and not for who she should be. Clarke had visited her as often as she could get away during those years, which was tough because of med school. Now, her visits would consist of just holding someone’s hand, anybody who needed it, or helping them eat their breakfast or lunch.  She didn’t feel the need to tell people she did this, so she kept these visits to herself._

_They made it to the house just as all the guests were sitting down for dinner. They both endured a glare from Finn’s mom, Margaret Collins.  She always looked so stern to Clarke, and she couldn’t remember ever having heard her laugh out loud.  Finn’s dad, Robert stood up and gave the yearly toast, thanking everyone for attending.  Clarke’s parents were sitting across the table and she gave a small smile to her mom, who was also a little glarey over their tardiness._

_When his father sat back down, Finn stood up and cleared his throat._

_Clarke looked up at him expectantly.  Finn never gave a toast, but he didn’t have a glass in his hand._

_“Uh, I just wanted to say something.”  Everyone stared at him as he nervously fidgeted. “Uh, first off, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, um, so, I have an announcement, well, not really announcement…”_

_Clarke smiled and looked over at her mom, who raised her eyebrows in question, and Clarke just shrugged her shoulders, she had no idea what was going on.  When she turned back to Finn, he was on one knee in front of her, and her heart stopped beating as he reached for her hand._

_“I just wanna ask, Clarke, will you marry me?”_

_For a millisecond, there was no sound, and Clarke’s heart seemed to remain still and she wasn’t breathing.  Then suddenly everyone was talking at once, and Finn was slipping the ring on Clarke’s finger, and people were clapping and pulling Finn up into a hug, grabbing Clarke and embracing her.  Her parents were suddenly standing in front of her._

_“Oh my god, you two, this is wonderful. Clarke, this is the greatest thing, you two are perfect together.”_

_Her dad had his arms around her, “princess, I’m so happy for you.”_

_Her mom was beaming, positively beaming, “this is the best thing you’ve ever done, we’re so proud of you honey.”_

_The hugging and kissing seemed to last for hours, but truth be told, it was only a few minutes. Clarke felt like she was having an out of body experience, that she was looking down from above at everyone congratulating them.  Everybody was so happy, everything seemed so perfect, except for one thing._

  _Clarke never said yes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it wouldn't be a story by me if I didn't have a little airport anecdote for you. Today we tried to fly to Florida, yes, again with Florida. And no, I didn't get frisked, sadly, I'm TSA precheck now and mindless groping is a thing of the past. And I miss it. Today, we're on the plane getting ready to leave, and we're speeding down the runway, literally taking off, wheels barely touching the ground, when the pilot jams on the brakes, like, really jams on the brakes. I thought maybe he was avoiding a squirrel or something, but no, he stopped because the airplane computer crashed. Back to the gate, get off the plane, wait at the gate for 6 hours. Finally told the flight was cancelled. Yeah. Fly Frontier. NOT.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke has pre meno hot flashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rushed to get this out, leaving for Alaska on Friday for ten days. So there definitely won't be an update for a few weeks. And when I say rushed, I mean instead of re-reading it 152 times, I only re-read it 148 times. By 120 I'm pretty much bored and hating it. But I'm posting anyway. Thanks to Hopelesshearteyes, I only made her read it 12 times. The wife got off easy, she only read it 5 times.

That night, Clarke met Raven and Octavia at the Ark. They sat around a table nursing their beers, and Clarke was already feeling it. All the stress from the last few months was catching up with her, so a night with the girls was just what the doctor ordered. Raven being the doctor in this case. Clarke hadn’t been out in a while, so if she got a little drunk, that was OK. Her two besties would make sure she got home safely.

“How’s the wedding planning going? I’m your maid of honor, I’m supposed to be helping you,” Raven said.

“I’m not even planning it, my mom and Finn’s mom are. We picked a small church in Bellevue. The reception will be back at the country club.”

“Don’t you wanna be involved?” O asked. “Sounds duplicitous to not be involved.”

“Nice,” Raven said, “word of the day?” O nodded. Raven high-fived her then kissed her. “That’s my girl!”

Clarke was equally impressed and lost her train of thought. “What?”

O repeated her question, “Don’t you wanna be involved?”

Clarke just gave her a blank stare.

“In the wedding planning,” O said with exasperation.

“Oh right. No. I’ll be starting a new rotation at the hospital, I don’t have a lot of time to do it. My schedule has been crazy lately.”

“What about dresses, we need goddamn dresses, don’t we? That’s it, tomorrow is dress shopping,” Raven declared. “Would be goddamn duplicitous if we didn’t do some goddamn dress shopping.” She smiled at O and held up two fingers. “Two hon.”

“Only counts if I use it, babe.”

Raven was disappointed. “Sorry, thought I was helping.”

“Or we can all go down the aisle in scrubs,” Clarke said downing her third beer and starting her fourth. “Goddamn duplicitously.” Clarke had no clue what it exactly meant. She was a little intoxicated. “That’s three,” she said to O, holding up four fingers.

“Uh oh,” O said looking over Clarke’s shoulder.

“What?”

“Here comes trouble. I gotta go wee wee.” Octavia caught the baby speak, “I mean pee. I’m gonna go urinate. I’ll be right back.”

“Or, you can just say, I’m going to the bathroom,” Raven said.

O flipped her a quick bird as she got up to go to the ladies’ room.

Clarke felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to look. She groaned inside. “Oh, hey.” She couldn’t think of the woman’s name, but every time she was here she would come over and hit on her. Even dressed like a slob, in an oversized hoodie, which she was wearing tonight, the girl would still hit on her.

“Hi Clarke, long time no see, where have you been?”

“Busy, ah, you, how you doin’?”

Raven decided to rescue her friend, she knew Clarke was not good with names when she was sober, let alone toasted. “Hey Emori, what’s up girl?”

“Not much,” the girl said to Raven, quickly turning her attention back to Clarke. “You look great, can I buy you a drink?”

“I’m still nursing this one, but thanks...Amora.” She said the name quietly, hoping it got lost in the music from the DJ. She was pretty sure she got it wrong.

“Okay, but let me know if you need another. Or need anything. Ever.” She winked and squeezed her shoulder.

“I will, thanks.”

“Like, sexually.”

“Okay, I got it, thanks.”

Emori walked away and Clarke rolled her eyes. “Not very subtle, is she.” However, it usually took a good ten minutes to shake her, so she wasn’t going to complain too much. “God, why is she always here?”

“Cause she’s gay? And this is a gay bar? I told you before she's in love with you. Been pining over you for years.”

Clarke looked down at her sloppy self. “Well, I have no idea what she sees in me. But I guess it’s flattering.”

“Maybe she needs glasses,” said the ever supportful Raven.

O came back from the bathroom with Lexa in tow. “Hey, look who I ran into.”

Clarke internally groaned again, nemesis number two. Haunter of dreams and soon to be ruiner of a perfectly good evening.

Lexa smiled at them, “Raven, and Clarke?”

Clarke gave a slight nod to her head, “Louann,” she said a little snidely. She wasn’t prepared for the short burst of laughter that came from Lexa’s lips. It was musical and joyous and Clarke was affected by it.

“Who’s Louann?” Raven asked to no one in particular, because no one was the only one paying attention to her.

Clarke’s heart sped up a bit, fluttering with... _attraction_? No, can’t be. She was developing arrhythmia. Yes, that’s what is was. Arrhythmia, an irregular heartbeat. And, the aforementioned arrhythmia seemed to be causing a warmth that crept up from her belly, through her chest, to her cheeks. She briefly flashed back to her dream from the other night. Green eyes, green eyes. Oh, best to leave those thoughts in her bedroom. She beat the attraction back with a big, mental stick.

Lexa ordered a beer from the waitress and turned back to Clarke. “Surprised to see you here. Slumming it with the lesbians?”

“I’ll have you know that I come here a lot.” She had no idea why she felt the need to defend her choices. And goddamn why did she have to be so good-looking.

“Yeah, we drag her here all the time, show her what she’s missing,” O said, looping her arm around Clarke’s neck and pulling her in for a peck on the cheek. “So, what’s been up with you?” she asked Lexa.

“Not too much, nothing exciting.” Lexa found it hard to pull her eyes away from Clarke. There was something arresting about her tonight. Or maybe it was just the lingering attraction from the dream. The kiss and what came after was still fresh in her mind. It seemed to be implanted on her brain.

“You still seeing that chick you met a few weeks ago?” Raven asked.

Lexa had a slightly delayed reaction to Raven’s question because of where her thoughts had scurried off to. “Sorry? Oh, Costia? We’re just casually dating, nothing exclusive.”

“You mean casually having sex?” Raven asked, trying to spice up the conversation.

“Pphhtt.” They all looked at Clarke, who was looking at Lexa. “Is that your thing? Casual sex?” she asked as she tipped back her beer.

Lexa arched her one eyebrow up, “My thing? No, I wouldn’t say it’s my thing.”

“Pphhtt.”

“You got a hair in your mouth?” Raven asked Clarke, who just shook her head.

Lexa continued to give her attention to Clarke. For some reason, she was happy to see her. God knows why. Her thoughts drifted back to the dream, and she wondered if reality Clarke was as good in bed as dream Clarke. “So Clarke, how’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a while, I’m sure you’ve been missing me.”

Clarke knew the only way she was going to maintain some semblance of control was to continue to be snarky, so she rolled her eyes. “Oh terribly.” Three beers in now and she was ready to spar. “As I’m sure you’ve missed me. I mean, who do you have to yell at now? I’m sure all your other clients know their dog’s name.”

“Hm, I don’t think I ever yelled at you.”

“Oh, you yelled. At least that’s how I heard it. In my head.” she said pointing to her head, and then tapping on it for effect.

Lexa smiled, just now realizing Clarke was a wee bit tipsy. Her blues eyes had a sparkle to them tonight. She spotted a little feistiness in them. They were beautiful. “How is Oliver by the way, when he’s at home?”

Clarke knew the dog was much better, but did she have to tell her that? “He’s OK. Like slightly better. Just slightly.”

“Just slightly, OK.” Lexa knew the opposite was true, since Octavia fed her information all the time. “So, I guess daycare hasn’t been much help?”

“Very small help. Very small improvement. I finally got a new wallet, no thanks to you,” she said as she reached into her pocket, pulled out the new wallet and waved it at Lexa.

“Good, your hair looks nice. Did you comb it? Or did you cut it?”

“ _I_ didn’t cut it, no,” Clarke said, misunderstanding the question. She ran her fingers through her hair to give it a little fluff. “I went to the salon.”

“Oh, the Hair Cuttery?”

Raven waved down a waitress, “We need more beers. And popcorn, do you have any popcorn?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at Lexa, “Very funny. I see you haven’t lost your sense of humor these past weeks.”

“No, I’m still funny. How’s the fiancé? What’s his name? Phil?”

“Finn. His name is Finn.”

“Right, Finn.”

“He’s good. We’re getting married in September. And you’re not invited.”

“Oh damn, I had your gift all picked out.”

Raven had her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands, watching. The waitress returned with their beers and started passing them around. “We didn’t have popcorn, but we had nuts, is that OK?” Raven nodded and waved her off, not wanting to miss a minute of the action.

“How long have you and what’s his name been engaged?”

“Phil? A few years. Finn, I meant Finn,” Clarke stumbled. Did she just say Phil? Jesus Christ.

Raven’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. Maybe she should re-do introductions, because nobody seemed to know anybody’s name in this group. A slow song came on and O grabbed her, “C’mon, let’s go.”

Raven objected, “But this is just getting good.”

“No, you guys, don't leave me please,” Clarke pleaded. They ignored her. She looked over at Lexa who had that damn half-smile smirk on her face.

“Afraid to be left alone with me?”

“Oh please, don't flatter yourself. It's not you.” Clarke spotted Emori on her way over. “Oh god, here she comes.”

Emori placed her hand on Clarke’s arm, “Hey Clarke, come dance with me.”

Clarke had made the drunken mistake of dancing with her one time. One damn time two years ago. And ever since then she had to fend her off whenever the music slowed down. She usually had a litany of excuses prepared, but Lexa had her all befuddled. She could perform the most delicate of surgeries, but it seemed she could only handle one annoying woman at a time.

Lexa got up and grabbed Clarke’s hand, “I'm sorry she promised this dance to me.” She gave a small yank and before Clarke knew it she was being led onto the dance floor. Lexa pulled her in close and they started slow dancing. “You’re welcome,” she said in her ear.

“I certainly didn’t need you to rescue me,” Clarke said. Lexa’s arms felt strong around her. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. Clarke maintained an acceptable distance between them, there was no need for extemporaneous touching.

Lexa laughed softly and leaned even closer to Clarke, her lips almost touching her earlobe, “Who was your friend back there?”

Clarke felt a little shiver go down her spine when Lexa’s breath grazed her ear. She blamed it on the air conditioning. “Nobody.” She really didn’t feel like getting into it with her. The less this woman knew about her the better.

“Nobody? She certainly didn’t act like a nobody. She acted like you guys danced before.” Lexa found herself burying her nose a little into the good doctor’s hair. She inhaled and the scent was intoxicating. Like flowers and sunshine. She fought the urge to pull her closer. She really needed to get laid.

Clarke tried to be vague, hoping this line of questioning would end soon. “Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t.” Lexa’s hips were pressing into hers now, and the warmth she experienced earlier moved south. Like, south of the border. The border being her belt. How was this even possible? Clarke couldn’t remember ever feeling like this, wanting to slap someone and rip their clothes off at the same time.

“You make a habit out of dancing with women?”

Don't say anything Clarke, don’t say anything. “Sometimes.” She bit her lip as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She paused, were those butterflies in her stomach? No, yes? For Christ’s sake.

“Oh.” Lexa wasn't expecting that. She usually could read people very well. She didn’t get any kind of vibe from Clarke that she may be into women. Her interest was piqued. “Have you dated a woman before?”

Clarke was quick to reply, too quick. “I don't wanna talk about it.” She mentally bitch slapped herself. Goddamn it Clarke, now you just gave yourself away. Beer was like truth serum for her. And her arrhythmia was back, only instead of fluttering, her heart was pounding. So, maybe a heart attack was imminent. Regardless, her body was a traitor, reacting to the proximity of this woman.

“So, you did date a woman.”

“I didn't say that.” Clarke tried to backpedal. The heat was spreading to other parts of her body now. Jesus Christ, is this a hot flash? When was her last period, was this early onset menopause? Is the air on it here? Jesus Christ, turn on the air conditioner.

Lexa smiled into the sunshine hair, “You didn't have to.”

Clarke tried to deflect with more snark. “Oh, so you’re a dog walker and a psychic?”

Lexa laughed again. “What was her name?”

“Niylah.” Oh my god. It seemed she was powerless to stop the flow of information from her lips. She hated her half-drunk self.

“Wow. I'm totally surprised.”

Clarke looked up at her, instantly annoyed, all warmth went away, her heart was no longer in cardiac arrest. She became sexually sober in an instant. “Why? You don't think a woman would want to go out with me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But that’s what you meant.”

“It’s just that, you seem a bit uptight for that.”

“Uptight? I’m not uptight.”

“You’re a little uptight.”

“I’m stressed, not uptight.”

“How long ago were you with her?”

“It was years ago….” Clarke caught herself, “wait, I’m not talking about this with you.”

“Awe, c’mon Clarke.”

“No.” She was saved from further humiliation as the slow song finally ended. She broke away from Lexa and headed back to the table. Raven and O were already sitting down.

“How was that?” Raven asked slyly.

“Shut it.”

Lexa came back over. “Ladies, I’m gonna call it a night. Great seeing you all, Clarke, thanks for the dance. Good luck planning your wedding.”

“Later, let’s get together for dinner or something,” O said.

“I’m gonna call you tomorrow, I have some ideas for the website,” Raven said.

“Sounds good, I’ll catch you all later.” And with that Lexa left.

Raven looked over at Clarke, “So how did you end up slow dancing with miss hottie?”

Clarke huffed at her, “Oh please. She’s not that hot. It was either her or Emmie, I took the lesser of two evils.”

“Who’s Emmie?” Raven asked, once again living in the land of confusion. She either had to drink more or drink less.

“You mean Emori,” O clarified.

Clarke nodded. “Yeah, what did I say?”

“What didn’t you say?” Raven asked. “I can’t keep track of all your women. So, how was it?”

“How was what?”

“The goddamn slow dance, Griffin. Jesus Christ,” Raven said with impatience.

“What do you mean how was it? It was a damn slow dance, we didn’t have sex.”

“Whoa, there you go again. Sex and Lexa, always popping up. Maybe you should hit that.”

“Excuse me?”

“Take her out for more than a slow dance. Sow your wild oats before the wedding. Or, maybe it’ll be a wake-up call.”

“Please stop talking, where’s my beer, I need another beer.” Clarke’s heart was still pounding a little irregularly from the slow dance and a sticky heat was still between her legs. She just chalked it up to not having sex for a while. Fulfilling sex. Lately, she was having trouble having orgasms with Finn. He would go to bed satisfied and Clarke would wonder how she could quietly finish the deed with her vibrator.

Sex wasn't the most important part of a relationship anyway. Right? Communication, common goals, those were the building blocks. Right? Why was she getting married? Because it was expected, that’s why. And Clarke always did what was expected of her, never wanting to disappoint anyone, putting everyone’s feelings and needs above her own.

She sighed. One of these days she was going to grow a pair of lady balls, as Raven liked to say, and do what _she_ wanted to do. Someday. When she had the energy. It took a moment before she realized someone was talking to her.

“Earth to Clarke, earth to Clarke.”

“Huh?”

“Are we dress shopping tomorrow nor not?” Raven asked.

“Oh, I can’t, I’m having dinner with the in-laws tomorrow.”

Raven made a yucky face. “Ew. You taking your heavy duty forceps?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Your forceps. So you can pull that monster-sized stick out of that woman’s ass.”

O and Clarke started giggling.

“She’s not _that_ bad,” Clarke said

“Clarke, she’s fucking awful and you know it,” Raven said as she finished off her beer. “And, she doesn’t like me, so there’s that.”

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t said ‘what the fuck is on your head,’ last Easter, she would like you,” O said.

“Well, what the fuck was on her head?” Raven asked.

“It was an Easter bonnet,” Clarke explained.

“Okay. I wasn’t sure. Well, we’re dress shopping soon, you’re not walking down the aisle in scrubs. Over my dead, cold body, will you be walking down the aisle in scrubs.”

“You are no fun.”

 * * * 

 

_Twenty-two year old Clarke Griffin drove up to her house, dreading the upcoming conversation with her parents. She had just graduated from college, and the rest of her life awaited her. A life her parents had not chosen for her. They would never approve of this path she was about to choose. She took a deep breath, and prayed for courage. Niylah wanted to come with her, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She didn’t want to expose her to the unrelenting pressures and expectations of the Griffin household._

_She went into the house and wandered around until she found her parents in the dining room._

_“Hey, there’s my college grad,” her dad said as he got up to give her a hug._

_“Hi dad, hey mom.”_

_Her mom hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “Clarke, I spoke with Dr. Reynolds today and he told me about some classes that he thinks you should be taking this summer before you start med school. He said he thought you were smart enough to take them now,” Abby said proudly._

_Clarke looked at her parents, steeling herself for this moment, not knowing how to start the conversation, but figured she should just rip the band-aid off. “I’m going to live New York,” she blurted out._

_An eerie quiet settled over the room for a full minute. Jake and Abby stared at her, not comprehending her words._

_“What?” Abby asked._

_Jake looked at her, “What?”_

_Two of the most intelligent, well-spoken people Clarke knew were both rendered speechless, seemingly robbed of their capacity for cognitive thought, stunned by her revelation. Staring without seeing. Not believing what they were hearing. Their little girl, veering off course, defying their carefully laid plans?_

_Jake was the first to come to his senses. “What are you talking about, when did this happen?”_

_“It’s happening now. I’m going to New York with Niylah. She auditioned last month for a dance company, and they accepted her.”_

_“Niylah? Your roommate?” Abby was confused._

_“Clarke what’s going on?” Jake asked._

_Here it goes, Clarke thought, “I love her, and I wanna be with her.” Clarke had never told her parents about Niylah, about falling in love, about finding someone she wanted to spend her life with. They were staunch Catholics and there was no way they would have ever accepted their relationship, which had been going on for the last two years. She knew she had to wait until after college to break the news to them._

_“What? Since when?” Jake asked._

_“Why is this the first we’re hearing about this?” Abby was stunned at this revelation from her only child._

_“I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t approve, and I knew you’d try and stop me. But I have my plane ticket and I’m going.” Clarke was feeling strong and determined, for the first time in her life._

_“Approve? Approve? Clarke, Clarke, listen to me, listen, this is a phase, a lot of girls go through this when they’re in college,” Jake tried to explain. “They’re away from home, they want to experiment, they want to feel progressive. You’ll get out to New York and realize what a big mistake you made.”_

_Abby was starting to get her back up a little bit. “You can’t go to New York, you’ve been accepted into medical school here. You can’t go off to New York and throw all that away.”_

_“I can go to school out there.”_

_“By the time you put in your applications, you will have lost a semester or two,” Jake said._

_“Clarke, you’re not gay. My god, what will they say at church?” Abby was distraught and started pacing around the room._

_“Maybe I am gay, or maybe I’m bi. I don’t know. But I love her.” Clarke remained determined._

_“I don’t understand, you dated boys all through high school, and what about Tim? You dated him your first semester of college,” Abby said, her voice starting to reflect her displeasure._

_“Listen, listen, let’s calm down,” Jake said, trying to be the voice of reason. “Clarke, why can’t you start school here, and if you still need to see her, you can visit between semesters.”_

_“Clarke, I will not pay for you to go to medical school in New York,” Abby said, trying to rein in her exasperation._

_“It’s my trust fund, from grandfather and grandmother.” Clarke’s voice started rising. Abby’s parents had set up the trust fund when Clarke was born, with the knowledge that she would enter the medical field, following in all their footsteps._

_“It’s to be used for your medical education. Here. Not in New York,” Abby hissed._

_“So, what? Are you going to disown me if I move out there?”_

_“I will not pay for you to live with a woman in New York,” Abby said, her eyes now flashing with anger._

_“It’s my money!” Clarke yelled._

_“Okay, let’s calm down, everyone calm down. Nobody is disowning anybody,” Jake said, putting a hand on Abby’s arm._

_Clarke knew she wouldn’t be able to afford med school on her own, she was counting on that trust fund. “I’ll apply for a student loan.”_

_“And you’ll be paying it back until you’re fifty.” Abby exclaimed. “Dancers in New York don’t make any money, what are you going to live on? How are you going to pay your rent? What are you going to tell your grandparents? That you’re a homosexual? They’ll be devastated.”_

_Jake looked at Abby, and there was a look of understanding that passed between them, which did not go unnoticed by Clarke. Jake locked eyes with Clarke. “Look honey, I didn’t want to tell you this right now.” He paused a moment, took a breath, “but your Gram is sick, and she needs you now, more than ever.”_

_This revelation caught Clarke off guard. “Gram Ev?”_

_“Yes,” Jake said, nodding his head. “You know she’s been struggling with her memory lately.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Last week she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.”_

_Clarke felt like she was punched in the gut, like someone just ripped her heart out of her chest. “What? When?” She knew that her Gram wasn’t right the last few months, forgetting things they did together within days of them happening, but Clarke just chalked it up to senior moments._

_“They did some neurological testing last week. They did an MRI, a CT scan. They’ve ruled out everything else.” Jake sighed. “I’m sorry Clarke.” Jake knew how close his mother and Clarke were._

_Clarke sat down heavily in a chair, a stunned look on her face. “When were you going to tell me?”_

_“Soon, we were going to wait until after graduation,” Abby said._

_“Clarke, we won’t know how much time we’ll have with her, how long she’ll remain lucid. Do you want to spend her last years on the other side of the country? There will come a time when she won’t remember any of us, these next couple of years will be precious,” Jake said sadly._

_Clarke was devastated. The one card they could play to make her hesitate, to make her change her mind about her choices. Her Gram Evelyn. Her favorite person in the whole world. Her Gram needed her._

_“Clarke, you can’t leave her now. It would be cruel. You’re her shining star.” Jake took the chair next to Clarke and picked up her hands in his. “Listen, stay here, go to school here, you can see this girl on semester breaks,” Jake said._

_“You’ll stay here, go to school and you’ll grow out of this little crush of yours,” Abby chimed in. She put her hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “You’ll realize that’s not what you want,” her voice softening now. “And you can spend time with your Gram,” Abby said, pounding the last nail into the coffin._

 

                                                                                                                       * * * 

 

A couple of days after going to the bar with her girls, Clarke was in the surgeon’s lounge with Monty. She got there early enough to get a cup of coffee and relax.

“You ready for our last rotation, pediatric surgery?” Monty asked. They were both lounging on the couch, enjoying the peace and quiet.

“Yeah, fun with mom, can’t wait.” She started absently tossing a Nerf ball up in the air. Monty set up a little Nerf basketball net last week, and Clarke found out that she was embarrassingly bad at it. But no mind, she still enjoyed tossing the little ball around.

Monty laughed. “Maybe it won’t be so awful?”

“Oh really? God, I can feel the stress from here. I’m glad we’re in it together. At least I know you’ll have my back.”

“She’s not that terrible. I’m looking forward to working with her. She is one of the best in the city.”

“I know, I know. She hasn’t been bad lately since the wedding date is set. She’s actually been sort of pleasant.”

“Oh, the dreaded wedding. Is it still dreaded? Maybe I spoke too soon.”

“Honestly, I haven’t had a lot of time to think about it. We may be going dress shopping soon. Baby steps. How about you? When are we getting that ring?”

“Maybe after work tonight? You free?”

“Yep, sounds good. It’s a date.” Clarke tossed the Nerf basketball at the tiny net that was set up, missing badly. “Yeah, nothing but air.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be nothing but net?”

“If you make it. I missed everything, so, nothing but air.”

“Here, let me.”

Clarke tossed the ball to Monty who promptly sunk it.

“Nothing but net,” he gloated.

“You suck.”

Monty got up off the couch and pulled Clarke to her feet. “Okay, ready for mom? Let’s do this,” he said with a high five.

Clarke returned it half-heartedly, more like a mid-five. “Yeah, let’s do this.”

They spent the morning with Abby, making her rounds with her and discussing who would scrub in on upcoming procedures. Clarke was going to assist on a tonsillectomy the following day.

She was with Abby, meeting the young seven year old girl and her parents. They were all jammed into one of the hospital rooms. While Abby explained the procedure to the parents, Clarke sat down in the bed with the little girl, Madison, who had a unruly crop of curly, brown hair and big, brown eyes.

Clarke put her arm around the little girl, “Everything will be easy peasy. Trust me,” she said with a smile. She pointed at Abby, “Dr. Abby is my mom, and she’s the best doctor in the whole hospital.”

The young girl’s eyes were wide with worry, “But isn’t it gonna hurt, Dr. Clarke?”

Clarke squeezed her a little, “Nah, you’re gonna be sound asleep and dreaming the whole time. When you wake up, your throat will be sore, like it is now, but slowly it’ll get better. And you know what else?”

“What?” little Madison asked.

“You get to eat lots of ice cream.”

Madison’s mouth dropped open, “Really?” she asked excitedly.

“Yep. How old are you Madison?”

“My friends call me Maddie.”

“Okay, how old are you Maddie?”

“I’m seven.”

“Seven?” Clarke got thoughtful for a moment, as a distant memory came back to her. “You know, when I was your age, or maybe even younger, I think I was six, I met a little girl in the hospital who was having her tonsils out also. Her name was...Lexi. And she was as brave as you.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“What happened?”

“We became friends, and after her surgery, we had fun and ate ice cream all day. She loved chocolate ice cream, I remember that.”

“Are you still friends?”

Clarke hesitated as she looked over at Abby. “No, we’re not. She left the hospital when she got better, and since she didn’t live near us, I couldn’t see her anymore. You know, I was too short to drive to her house,” Clarke teased and she gave her a little shake.

Maddie giggled at her, “Six year old’s can’t drive.”

Clarke smiled at Maddie as she tucked an errant curl behind her ear. “I know. I wish I had one of those cool battery cars that kids have today, then I would have driven to her house.”

“I have one of those.”

“You do? What color is it?” Clarke asked.

“Pink. I’ll let you use it so you can drive and see your friend.”

“That’s so nice of you, but I don’t know where she is now. I don’t know what happened to her.”

“That’s sad,” little Madison said.

“Yeah. I was sad for a while.”

“Will you come back after my surgery and eat ice cream with me?”

“I sure will. I promise.”

“What are you two talking about?” Abby asked.

Madison smiled up at Abby, “Dr. Clarke was telling me about when she was little and her friend got her tonsils out.”

Abby looked confused, “When was that?”

Clarke looked away from her mom and back down at Maddie. “It was a long time ago, Dr. Abby, a long time ago.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, the only reason I'm writing this is so I can banter with you all in the comments. So, please, feel free to comment. It doesn't even have to be related to the story. Maybe something funny happened to you today.  
> Let me see if I can think of something funny to share. I stepped in dog shit yesterday. Is that funny? I was walking the dogs at work, outside of course, and I stepped in dog shit. And there was no hose to wash it off with. So I left my shoe outside the front door. My poo-filled shoe was the first thing that greeted my customers on their way into the building. And I walked around the rest of the afternoon with one shoe. Probably not very funny. Have you been watching “Downward Dog?” That show makes me laugh.  
> It’s 9:42PM Eastern time, this is real time right now, I’m like, live. I asked Hopelesshearteyes, oh for fuck’s sake, her name is Elizabeth, tired of writing Hopeless. I asked Elizabeth if she had a funny story to share. On the tumblr of course. She just wrote back and told me she almost ran over the same squirrel twice today. Might be funny. Let’s wait to see if she elaborates.  
> 9:45PM. She’s leaving me hanging. I get impatient sometimes. How many words am I allowed in these notes?  
> Oh wait, here she is, I’ll relay it to you. Elizabeth says, “I was driving. I saw him being a dumb squirrel. I slowed down as he realized he was gonna die. So he about faced to go the other way. I think he got too caught up in the turning because he did a big u-turn and came back towards my side of the road. So I jammed on the brakes. And he just stopped. And froze, watching me go by. With his little heart slamming.”  
> I love her. That was funny. For a spur of the moment story. All typing with her little thumbs and such.  
> 9:50PM. She just told me to fluff it up a bit. This is how she helps me write the story, “fluff it up a bit.” I told her I’m not fluffing it up. She reminded me to tell the story of “the squirrel scream.” Maybe next time I will. That’s kinda funny. Remind me in case I forget.  
> 9:55PM. She’s panicking that I might include her exact words. Told me to correct the grammar. Nah. I wonder if this is the longest end of chapter note in history.  
> Here comes my cat, maybe he'll step on my keyboard and delete everything.  
> 10:09PM. I guess I'll just post. Until next time, my dear 25 readers.  
> Jesus Christ. I think the note is funnier than the story.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hm. summary. I dunno. Maybe someone else can summarize it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, all 28 of you. I apologize for the tardiness of this post. I was in Alaska and didn't have time to write. thanks to my little editor Elizabeth, who read the chapter and said, "FLUFF IT UP," in caps. which I took to mean, this fucking sucks and you'll be down to 21 readers by the end of the day. I'd like to welcome Lauren aka the sparrow, aka sparrow2100 to my "if you have any ideas for the story please feel free to email me," party. She is the queen of run-on sentences, as she gets very excited with her ideas, which are very funny. So I'm sure in the coming chapters, she'll get more shout-outs. Lastly, please enjoy this picture of "Oliver" that Elizabeth submitted. He is exactly what I had in my head. If anyone has a picture of their dog, who looks like he could be Oliver, please feel free to submit it, I may attach it to a chapter. that would be fun, wouldn't it? yes! More fun than the story.

                                                                                                          


 

_Lexa’s eyes fell on Clarke, who was across the room leaning against the bar. It was crowded tonight, there were lots of women here, but Lexa only had eyes for the blonde. She picked up her drink and headed over to greet her.  “Hey.”_

_“Hey yourself.”_

_“You look great.”_

_“You look stunning.”_

_Lexa smiled at her, reached down and grabbed her hand. She began to lead her towards the bathroom. They went into the ladies’ room and slipped into one of the stalls. Once the door was closed Lexa pushed Clarke against it and slipped a hand into the top of her pants, her finger dancing around the top of her panties. She moved her lips close to Clarke’s, close but not touching, just a whisper away. Clarke leaned into her and captured her lips, grabbed the back of Lexa’s neck and brought her closer still, her tongue pushing its way into Lexa’s mouth, making them both moan and writhe against each other. Lexa began slowly unbuttoning Clarke’s jeans, pushing the zipper down, slipping her fingers under the soft cotton underwear, her knuckle brushing against her slick opening. She was so wet, drenched. Clarke broke off the kiss to moan “yes” into Lexa’s ear, making Lexa shudder with anticipation_ …

With a jolt Lexa sat up in bed, panting. Holy fuck. When her heart rate settled down she collapsed back onto her bed. Lexa was soaked. And it wasn’t sweat. Yes, she just had another wet dream. Starring Clarke Griffin. Jesus Christ, she felt like an adolescent boy. Both dogs were on the bed, staring at her intently, with their heads cocked. “It’s okay boys, just an X-rated dream, no big deal, with some woman I barely know, and barely like.”

She gave them each a pat on the head, and got up to get a glass of water, padding around naked in her kitchen, leaning against the counter, thinking back to what was happening right before she woke up. She closed her eyes to try and continue the fantasy, but the spell was broken. She put her glass back into the sink and headed to her bedroom, shaking her head. Why on earth was she dreaming of the blonde doctor? She didn’t even like her. Number one, she was rich, number two she was a surgeon, and number three, she owned a cat. And she was annoying as hell. And argumentative. And she was pretty sure she looked down her nose at her. Yes, she was attractive, beautiful even. And utterly unavailable, let’s not forget that.

She crawled back beneath the covers and tried to go back to sleep, but her thoughts kept circling back to the kiss in her dream. She lay awake for hours, mulling over the reason for these sex dreams, but couldn’t come up with any answers. Their slow dance the other night had quite the effect on her. She enjoyed the feeling of Clarke in her arms, even though they continued to antagonize each other. It felt "right" holding her somehow. How the hell that was possible, she had no idea. It was a dynamic that she had never been exposed to before, a little snark and a lot of attraction. And the fact that Clarke had previously been with a woman really caught her off guard.  

When Lexa had left the bar, she had called Costia to try and blow off some sexual steam. They hooked up, both agreeing that their relationship could be physical, without commitment. Which was fine for Lexa, she enjoyed Costia’s company, but didn’t find herself swooning or falling hard for her. As long as they were both on the same page, things would be fine. She sighed and tried to banish Clarke from her thoughts. Finally, sleep found her around four a.m.

 *  *  * 

A couple of days later, Lexa drove up to Clarke’s house to pick up Oliver, and noticed the garage door was open. The last few weeks she had just been using the hide-a-key to get into the house for the dog, which was par for the course with most of her clients. But, it looked like someone was home. She prayed it was the fiancé, as she was not ready to lay eyes on Clarke today, not so soon after that last dream. She saw her Saturday night at the bar and that was plenty. She got out of the van and knocked on the door.

 Of course, it was Clarke who opened the door to let her in.

 “Hey, c’mon in.”

“Hi Clarke. Wow, twice in a week, what are the odds?” Lexa’s mind concentrated on the task at hand, getting the dog and getting the hell out of here. But, her body had other thoughts, as a flush spread through her chest.

“My schedule is different this week. The dog, ah...I don’t know where he is.”

“Well there’s a surprise,” Lexa said.

Lexa followed Clarke through the living room, both searching for Oliver.

Clarke looked a little more relaxed to her today. “Aren’t you late for surgery or something?”

“What?”

“Nothing. Where’s Oliver?” She walked into the dining room and came face to face with the cat, who was on his favorite perch, the table. She was greeted by his hello hiss and swat.

“Did you ever meet Jinx?” Clarke asked as she came over to scratch Jinx’s fluffy ears. “My good boy, how’s my baby?”

“Not formally no. We usually try to avoid each other.”

“Why do you avoid him, he’s such a sweetie.”

“We have a love hate relationship. He loves to hate me.”

“Really? Good boy.” Clarke chuckled at her joke. “I love cats.”

“Of course you do.”

“Oliver!” Clarke called and listened.  She cocked her head towards the steps. “Shit. This usually means he’s got something he’s not supposed to have. I’ll go look upstairs.” Clarke took the steps two at a time calling the dog’s name.  

Lexa stared after Clarke, admiring her, ahem, agility. She tried to distract herself from thoughts of Clarke’s ass going up the steps by looking at the pictures in the dining room. There were various family photos and vacation photos. Clarke had a warm, beautiful smile in all the pictures, something Lexa had yet to see directed at her. Not that she cared. Did she? No. There was no need to see that megawatt smile. She heard thumping and looked up just in time to see Oliver scoot through the dining room and into the kitchen. “Here he is,” Lexa called up the steps. Lexa saw that the dog had something lacy in his mouth.

She followed him into the kitchen, coaxing him out from under the kitchen table. She quietly laughed as she found the lacy thing to be a bra. A very sexy, light blue bra. The kind found at Victoria’s Secret.

She took a treat out and distracted Oliver long enough to grab the bra from him. She stood back up, holding the bra up by the straps, incredibly impressed with the cup size. She hadn’t seen Clarke in anything other than scrubs so far. And, if she remembered correctly, she had a loose-fitting sweatshirt on the other night at the bar. She continued to stare at the bra, and she knew she probably had a goofy smile on her face as she stared at it. Lexa had a thing for breasts. She found them mesmerizing. Definitely her favorite body part. She started to get a tiny pool of moisture between her legs at the thought of Clarke’s breasts filling up these cups. What the shit kinda dream was she gonna have tonight?

“Hey!” Clarke came into the kitchen. “That’s _my_ bra!”

Lexa smirked, “Well, I didn’t think it was Phil’s.”

“Very funny.”

Lexa could tell by the pink shade of Clarke’s face that she was embarrassed. “Don’t be embarrassed, we all wear them. Although maybe not this kind.”

“Give it.” Clarke snatch it away from Lexa. “I’m not embarrassed. It’s just a bra.”

“Well, I don’t know about that.” Lexa’s eyes traveled down from Clarke’s face to see how she could have possibly missed this pleasant surprise. It was the scrubs. Totally hid the boobs.

“What are you looking at?”

Lexa’s eyes snapped back up to Clarke’s, “Uh, nothing.” Now it was Lexa’s turn to turn a little pink, knowing she was caught staring, and enjoying the view.

“That was rude.”

Lexa started laughing, “Okay, maybe it was. You should be flattered.”

“Flattered? That you were ogling me? That you were drooling over my chest?” Clarke crossed her arms and tried to look stern. Ignoring the fact that her body did not mind at all that Lexa checked her out. It seemed her mind and body were at odds when this woman was around.

“Okay, I wasn’t drooling. I mean, they’re nice, but they’re not that great...in scrubs anyway. Now, if you had that little number on,” Lexa said pointing at the blue bra, “I may very well drool.”

Lexa continued looking at Clarke, who was just staring back at her. “Evidently, I’m not the only one who likes it,” and she motioned her head down to Oliver, who was sitting like a champ waiting for his leash. She still wasn’t getting a reaction from Clarke, which she found funny, so she started laughing again.

“It’s not funny. You’re not funny.”

“So you tell me. All the time. Okay Clarke, we’ll just head out, and uh, we’ll catch you and the girls later.” Lexa clipped the leash onto Oliver’s collar and walked out the door.

“Who’s the girls?”Clarke demanded, following her out the door onto the patio.

Lexa just laughed again and waved as she walked towards the van.  

It took Clarke a minute to get the joke. “Not funny, Linda!” she yelled after her. She went into the house. “The damn nerve.” Jinx came over to her and weaved between her legs, trying to soothe the savage beast that was his mom. Or he was hungry. Speaking of hungry, Clarke’s mind went back to the look on Lexa’s face after she had sized up her chest. Her eyes had turned dark. A dark, dark green, almost black, her lip caught between her teeth, perfect white teeth. Clarke started to get hot thinking about it. Whew. Okay, shake it off Clarke, shake it off. You just had sex last night with Finn, so these thoughts should not be dancing around your head right now. And you had an orgasm with him for the first time in forever. While thinking about elegant, long fingers and green eyes. Minor detail.     

  ***  *  ***

Lexa was sitting in her office typing on her laptop, cleaning up tasks that she had to get done before the week’s end. She always procrastinated when it came to working on a computer, staring at a screen always gave her a headache. Might be time for an eye check-up. Raven was coming over at some point to share some website ideas. They all decided to trash what had already been done, because, as Raven said, “It was shit wrapped in dog poo.”

Lexa made her last journal entry just as she heard the entry door buzz. Raven popped her head in a minute later.

“Hey boss, now a good time?” Raven asked.

“Of course, it’s actually perfect timing,” Lexa said as she closed out her programs.

“Cool, brought the gf, had to pick her up from work because her car’s in the shop.”

“Well, the more the merrier, hey O,” Lexa said as she gave them both a hug.

“Sorry to crash the website party,” O said. “This farm is awesome, how long have you been here?”

“A few years now. I love it, too. It’s so perfect for what we need. Let me text Anya and tell her that you’re here.”

Raven stopped short when Lexa’s two dogs got up to give them both a sniff. “Whoa, big dogs.”

“They’re harmless, don’t worry,” Lexa said as she sent off her text. “The big gray one is Yogi, and the black and white one is Milo. Sit boys.” Both dogs sat obediently.

“Are they pitbulls?” O asked.

“Yeah, but they’re good dogs.”

“Are they bilious?” O asked, hanging and shaking a number one in the air, proud of her word of the day.

Raven put her hand up for the now standard, no-look high five.  After exchanging hand slaps with O, she turned to Lexa with her hand up, “Give it up,” she said.  Lexa obliged, with a look of confusion.  “I’ve established the word-of-the-day high five as a thing now. All must participate.”

“What’s word of the day?” Lexa asked.

“Octavia is trying to dumb down the baby talk by using big, smart words.  You know, the kind that none of us ever heard of or know the definition of.  Very high five worthy.”

“Okay, gotcha.  What’s the word mean, exactly?” Lexa asked.

“Bilious, adjective, having a peevish or ill-natured disposition,” O volunteered proudly.  “Can I count that as two?”

“Uh, no,” Raven said. “Definitions don’t count.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

“Well, no, the dogs are not bilious,” Lexa said. “They do take a while to warm up to you, but once they do they won’t leave you alone.”

“Are they pettable?” Raven asked.

“Of course, being non-bilious, they would be pettable,” O said, hand ready for her high five.

“Now you’re just making shit up,” Raven said, leaving the aforementioned hand twisting in the wind. She hesitantly reached out and patted Yogi on the head. “Good dog, don’t eat me, dog.”

Yogi accepted his pat on the head and went back to his dog bed, Milo followed him.

“Let me get a couple more chairs,” and Lexa went into the other room and returned with two more folding chairs.

Raven got out her laptop.  “Ok, so, I have three different looks for the home page, I want to see if you like any of them.  Or, maybe you like a little something of each, which is cool.  I really wanna get a feel for your tastes.”

“Yo girls, long time no see,” Anya said as she came through the door and hugged them.

“Haven’t seen you at the bar lately, is that what happens when you get all domesticated?” Raven asked.

“Nah, we’ve just been really busy.”

Raven squinted her eyes at her laptop screen, “Okay, ah, blue screen, never a good thing. O, you were on this last night, what did you do?”

“What did I do? I was just downloading my pictures. I didn’t do anything.”

“I didn’t do anything. The four most hated words in IT support,” Raven said. “I deal with this all day long, people’s computer’s having a freak out, and everyone’s all like, ‘I didn’t do anything,’ like the computer hit delete or format or what the shit ever.” She growled at the screen. “It was working fine before you sat down to look at your pictures. Did you hit something?”

“No, let me see it,” and Octavia sat down and looked at the blue screen. “Maybe that’s the cloud.”

“What now?”

“It’s blue, maybe it’s the cloud. Where I sent my pictures to last night. The cloud.”

“Clouds are white, dear.”

“Oh right. You know I’m not good with computers. I find them bilious.”

“I find you bilious.”

“What does the blue screen mean?” Octavia asked.

“It usually means your computer shat the bed,” Raven explained.

“Don’t they call that the blue screen of death?” Anya asked.

“That doesn’t sound good,” O said, stating the obvious.

“You think? Okay, I’ll just restart and hope that clears everything up.” Raven turned everything off and they all watched the screen with hope-filled eyes and fingers crossed.

“What happens if it doesn’t come back up?” O asked.

“I feed you to Lexa’s dogs.”

“They would just lick her to death,” Lexa said, as she waited anxiously for the home screen to pop up on Raven’s computer.

Finally, they all breathed a sigh of relief as Raven’s start up screen appeared.  

“Thank the lord,” Raven said. She peeked over at the two pitties, “Looks like the doggos will go hungry tonight.”

They all settled in around the laptop, with Raven navigating through the partially built website, showing a few different layouts, explaining the add-ons necessary in order to make it a store front. Lexa and Anya had similar tastes, so choosing a design was an easy decision. They had everything wrapped up in less than an hour.

“You guys want something to drink?” Lexa asked, as they kicked back to relax and socialize a little.

“Water’s good.”

“Same for me,” O said.

Lexa got a bottle of water out of the mini fridge. “How’s work O?”

“Good.”

“Still watching those kids?” Anya asked.

“Yep, still doing that. Hard to say no to that kind of money, I mean, it’s under the table. How you guys been?”

“Everything’s good here, right Lex?”

“Yeah, things are good.”

“Yo Lexa, how’s Costia? You guys banging yet?” Raven asked with a smile.

“Yeah, they banged last week, right?” Anya said, she wasn’t one to keep things secret.

“Bang? You guys are so romantic,” Lexa said

 “Romantic? Are things romantic now?” Raven teased.

 “No, it’s all just casual.”  The buzzer sounded as a car pulled into the parking lot.  Anya got up to see who was coming in.

 “Casual, huh?” Raven asked.

 “Yep, keeping it casual.”

 “Hey, look who I found,” Anya said as she pulled Maya into the room.

 Lexa got up to give her a big hug and a kiss, “What’s happening?”

 “I wanted to drop off this flyer for the paintball fundraiser.”

 “Cool,” Lexa said as she took the flyer. “I’ll put it on the calendar.”

 “When is it?”Anya asked.

 “The 24th,” Maya answered.

 “Paintball?” Raven asked.

 “Oh, sorry, Maya, this is Raven and Octavia, this is my friend Maya.”

 “Nice to meet you Raven, and Octavia.” Maya smiled at her, “Yeah, it’s a fundraiser for my son’s school.”

 “I’ve never played, I always wanted to, looks like fun, all shooting people and shit,” Raven said.

 “Oh, it’s fun,” Anya said.

 “Why don’t you play?” Maya asked Raven. “The more the merrier.”

 “We can round up a whole gang to play if you want, right babe?” Raven asked O, who gave her an enthusiastic nod.

 “That would be great, here, take this,” and she handed another flyer to Raven.

 “Yes! Finally get to carry a gun, and wear all that body armor, looking all butch.”

 “So Maya, I hear you found Lexa quite the woman the other week,” Anya with a smirk.

 Maya blushed a little, “Yeah, that didn’t work out so good. I think I’m a failure when it comes to matchmaking.”

 “Ah, matchmaking is my middle name, so let me know if you want any pointers,” Raven said.

 “Who’ve you matched up?” Lexa asked skeptically.

 “Who’ve I matched up? Okay, I set my friend Harper up with Monty, guy Clarke works with, and, they’re getting engaged. I set O’s brother Bellamy up with his current wife.”

 “Wow.” Maya was impressed. “I don’t have quite that track record.”

 Lexa laughed, “No, you don’t.”

 “I’m oh for three, I’m an o-fer. Three tries and three whiffs,” Maya said, giggling.

Anya howled, “Oh, you’ve been striking out alright. Let’s see, we had this last one, Marcie the fucking rabbit who eats lettuce, then you had the flannel nightmare, Suzanne the lumberjack, who wanted to throw Lex over her shoulder and carry her off to bed.”

 “Okay, that’s an exaggeration,” Lexa said.

 Raven and O were enjoying the ‘no’ list, “Who else, who was the third?”

 Maya pursed her lips and thought for a minute, and then her eyes light up, “Oh, the dominatrix.”

 “Jesus Christ, I forgot about that one,” Lexa said. “She showed up in leather and chains.”

 “She didn’t wear that to work,” Maya explained. “I didn’t know. Was I supposed to know that?” she asked, looking to Raven, her fellow matchmaker, for validation.

 Raven put her arm around her shoulder and gave a little squeeze. “You couldn’t know, you couldn’t. Now, you stick with me, we’ll find Lexa the perfect woman, I have some ideas.”

 “Good. Obviously, I need help. Okay, I have to head out, it was nice meeting you both, and I hope to see you at paintball.”

 “Oh, you’ll see us alright,” Raven said. “Might wanna be on my team, Maya, I’m an ace with a water gun.”

 “Maybe we’ll make it girls against guys, or something fun like that,” Maya said with a smile.

 “You got it, we’ll shoot those boys full of paint,” Raven said.

 “I like it, then I’ll see you two at paintball, should I find Lexa a date? My mom said she met a nice lesbian at the Whole Foods last week.”

 “No, no, that’s quite alright,” Lexa said, ushering her out the door.

 When Lexa came back into her office, she plopped down in her chair.

 “So,” Raven said.

 “So,” Lexa said back.

 “Last week at the bar.”

 “Yeah?”

 “How did you manage to get Clarke to slow dance with you?”

 “Yeah, how did that go down?” O asked.

 “I just pulled her up, she seemed to need saving from some woman hitting on her, so I helped her out.” She looked at Raven and Octavia, both of them just slowly nodding at her.  “What?”

 “Clarke’s my best friend, dude.” Raven said.

 “I know.”

 “We were college roommates,” Raven said. She crossed her legs, ready to begin her cross examination. “What do you think of her?”

 “What do I think of her? She’s okay. I mean, it’s no secret we don’t get along very well.”

 “Yeah, what’s with that? You two are always bickering, kinda like an old married couple.”

 “Uh, I don’t know. She’s a cat person?” Lexa didn’t want to list all the other reasons, since Clarke and Raven were so close.

 “But she’s pretty, don’t you think she’s pretty?” Raven the matchmaker asked. O looked askance at her.

 “Sure, yeah, she’s pretty.”

 “She has nice eyes, don’t you think?” Raven found it was best to make sure that one half of the possible match knew about the best features of the other half.

 “Ah, yes, she does, very nice.” Lexa had no idea why Raven was pointing all this out to her.

 “She has a good heart, I know you haven’t seen that...yet,” Raven said. O cocked an eyebrow at her, wondering where this was all leading.

 “Yet?” Lexa laughed. “I doubt I’ll ever see that side of her.”

 Raven paused, this was going to be more challenging than she thought. She’d have to be bringing her A game.

 Lexa finished her water and tossed the bottle into the recycle can across the room. “She told me she used to date a woman.”

 “What?” Raven asked wide-eyed, glancing at the also surprised Octavia. Clarke was not one to divulge that info. She inwardly smiled, what she deduced from that was Clarke subconsciously wanted Lexa to know that women were not off the table. Good. “Wow. She was drunker than I thought.”

 “Well, I was surprised.”

 “Yeah, she was all in love and shit. Didn’t end too well. But that’s a story for another day. Hey, this Saturday O and I are going out for breakfast at Grounders, you should join us.”

 “Okay, maybe I’ll stop by, what time?”

 "Around nine?”

 “Alright, sounds like a plan.”

 “Good.” Raven mentally patted herself on the back. What she didn’t reveal was that Clarke would be there too. Matchmaking full speed ahead, trying to go three for three. Better odds if she kept putting them in the same room together, one of these times things were gonna explode.  

 O was on to her now, and just shook her head. She would play along, if for nothing else than to see what Raven would pull out of her ass next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think some of you owe me a funny story, a big sis story and a story about Carole with an E. You know who you are. lucky and peaches. Here's my airport adventure for daphnegrrl. Not super funny, just more, wtf. We flew American to Alaska. We check-in, day before, as usual. We get down there and we have to check our bags. so we look around for a counter, there is none. There are a bunch of kiosks and a single podium, with a woman behind it. We go to the kiosk and it prints our luggage tags. I rip them off and wave them to the woman, and she says, "you have to put the tags on your bags." Ok. I have to put my own luggage tag on my bag. I am in America, not fucking Honduras, but ok, I peel the backing off the label and it promptly sticks to my thigh. I try to get it off and now it sticks to my carry-on, get it off there and it sticks to itself. It was alive, I swear. Had to do that thing, you know, trying to peel it off itself, and I'm sure it ripped at some point. Anyway, long story longer, I finally get it on, and it doesn't look right, at this point I'm certain it will stick to something inside the plane and come off. I then drag my bag to the woman, and she points behind her, "you can put your bag on the belt." Wha? I have to drag my bag to the belt and put it on myself. Next time I guess they'll tell me to "go around back" and put the bag on the fucking plane. So that's my airport story. Not funny, but wtf, right? anyway, next chapter will be up shortly. It's mostly finished.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa goes for a ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I don't know what it is with the website, but it's become a royal pain in my ass to bring my doc in anymore. It goes crazy with spacing, so I have to backspace every line, which I do/did. Then, it goes indent happy, and indents every sentence, which, quite frankly, I do not have the fucking energy to fix, or the time. I have a fucking life. I mean, I haven't played Candy Crush in months. So, deal with the indent. Look past the indent. I'm sure it's operator error. Ok, the first pic is Elizabeth's new puppy, Banshee. She is a total chick magnet, so hopefully E. is taking her for walks around the gayborhood. Second pic is Luca, from my new friend Lisam0930. The note he's wearing is funny. Again, if you have a funny dog pic you would like to share, send me an email, which is on my home page.

  


_“Mom, Dad, I won, I won!” Sixteen year old Clarke came racing into the house, dropping her backpack in the hallway, excitement oozing out of every pore. “Mom, Dad!” She found her parents in the kitchen making dinner together. It was a rare night when they both were home, but today was a day full of surprises. “I won, I won!” She ran up to her mom and hugged her, and did the same to her dad._

_Abby turned around and turned off the frying pan, “What did you win?”_

_Clarke unrolled the long piece of paper that she was carrying, revealing a painting of a sunset over the water, oranges and reds and yellows blending and melding over a deep blue ocean. Her hands were shaking she was so thrilled. “My picture won, my picture won. There was a contest in the school district, an art contest, and Mrs. Wilson said I should enter one of my pictures, and I did and I won first place.”_

_Her dad came over and gave her another hug and a kiss. “Honey, that’s wonderful. I’m so proud of you.”_

_“Thanks Dad. Mrs. Wilson thinks I can get a scholarship to an art college. She said I have a lot of talent. I’m so excited. What if I can open my own gallery someday, and hang all my pictures in there. And what if somebody actually buys one, oh my god, how cool would that be.”_

_Abby and Jake looked at each other. Jake took the picture from Clarke and looked it over, “It’s really beautiful, Clarke,” then he slowly began rolling it up. “But honey, art school?  We’ve talked about this before. We’re doctors in this family, right? Your mom and I are, your grandparents are, and you’ll be one, too.”_

_Clarke felt the tension building in her temples, just like it always did when she talked about art with her parents. “But I love to draw, why can’t I become an artist.”_

_“They don’t call them starving artists for nothing, Clarke,” her mom said._

_Her dad spoke gently to her, “Clarke, you can’t make a living drawing pictures. You scored in the top one percent in the state. Your mind is meant for medicine, not water colors.”_

_Abby continued lecturing her, “You can’t waste your god given gift. You can’t just throw that away going to art school. Now, you don’t want to disappoint everyone do you?”_

_There it was, the D word. Clarke had been hearing that since she was born. At least it felt like she had._

_"Listen to your mom. Your Grandfather already has a desk waiting for you in cardiology. Do you want to tell him that you’d rather be doodling on paper than working side by side with him? He’s expecting you to be there with him some day. He’d be so disappointed if you didn’t make that happen.”_

_Clarke felt her excitement ebb away, like the air slowly leaking out of a balloon. “It’s not doodling dad. It’s art.” Her lip caught in her teeth, and she fought back tears, not wanting to appear weak. Not wanting to disappoint._

_Her dad put his arm around her, “Honey, when you’re retired, you can draw all you want.  It’ll be a nice hobby for you. Now, your mom made us all a nice dinner, so let’s sit down and enjoy a meal together, god knows we don’t get to do that much.” His arm slipped off her shoulder and he went over to the cabinet to take the plates down. “Go wash up Clarke, let’s eat before it gets cold.”_

_Clarke looked back and forth from her mom to her dad as they went about setting the table, Clarke’s art already forgotten, her first-place award a distant memory as they discussed their caseload at the hospital. She reached out and picked up her picture. They didn’t understand, they never did. She felt like she’d been fighting this fight since she was a little kid. She was tired of fighting, she felt like it was a battle she couldn’t win. She felt the last bit of resistance slip out of her. Resignation set in. Maybe they were right, nobody would ever buy her pictures. Becoming a doctor was the right thing to do. She slowly made her way up to her bedroom. When she got there, she leaned against her door jam and looked around at her easel, her pencils, her brushes, her dreams. She took out a box and started putting it all away, one by one. She closed the box up and pushed it to the back of the closet. She got up, wiped a single tear from her eye and headed back down for dinner._

 *  *  * 

 

“I’ll have the two-egg omelet with mushrooms and cheese, hash browns, rye toast, and coffee,” Clarke said. “And can I get that with the swiss cheese and cheddar? And make the hash browns crispy with onions, run the toast through twice, cause I like it well-done. Oh, and raspberry jam if you have it.” The three girls were at Grounders Cafe for breakfast.

Raven looked at Clarke, “Jesus Christ Meg Ryan, you done?” She turned back to the waitress, “Ditto for me,” Raven said as she closed the menu. “Minus the raspberry jam, cause that’s disgusting. I’ll take grape jelly.”

O contemplated the selections. “How about two eggs over easy, white toast, hash browns and bacon. And a serendipitous cup of coffee.”

“Can coffee be serendipitous?” Raven asked.

“It can when it’s the word of the day,” O replied. Raven high fived her.

“You still doing that?” Clarke asked, as she completed the table high five.

 “Absolutely, I think it’s working, don’t you babe?” she asked Raven.

 “Sure hon, except for calling my nipples nip nips last night.”

 “It’s a slow process.”

 “And a buzz kill.”

 “So, what’s happening with you girls?” Clarke asked as the waitress came back with their coffees.

“Not much, how about you? How’s Phil?” Raven asked.

Clarke gave her a look. “Really?”

Raven just shrugged. She was digging the Phil thing.

“You look tired,” O said to Clarke.

“I’m not sleeping very well. Weird dreams.”

Raven looked at her, “Weird dreams?”

“What are you dreaming about?” O asked.

“The wedding. And other things.” Clarke winced as that last part slipped out.

 “What other things?”

“Nothing, forget it, just the wedding.” Clarke was not giving up that Lexa was a recurring figure in her dreams, and she certainly wasn’t giving up what was going on in those dreams.  How a woman she barely knows or sees could play such a prominent role in her subconscious was beyond her. She could barely explain it to herself, let alone explain it to her two best girlfriends. And, it would only be more ammunition for Raven to tell her to ‘hit that.’ “I’m just stressing over stuff, as usual. My rotations are almost over, then I can get on with my life.”

“Remember when you used to draw in college? You called it your rebellious phase,” Raven said. “You were really good you know.”

“I know, I used to love to draw and paint.” Clarke took up drawing again in college, after getting out from under her parent’s influence. Her pictures littered the walls of their dorm room.

“So, what happened?”

“Life happened, you can’t make a career out of drawing.”

“Some people do, they’re called artists.”

“You mean starving artists. Don’t forget that part.”

“Ah, but you’re marrying a rich doctor, so you won’t starve,” Raven said.  

They all turned to look outside as a woman on a motorcycle pulled up in front of the cafe. The three of them watched as she got off her bike and took off her helmet.

“Holy shit, it’s Lexa. She has a bike?” O asked. “Why didn’t we know this?”

When Lexa came through the door Octavia called out to her and waved her over. O was under strict orders to make sure that Clarke thought this appearance by Lexa was pure happenstance. Lexa got a cup of coffee at the counter, pulled up a chair, and sat down.

O smiled, “Well, isn’t this serendipitous.” She turned to Raven and put up two fingers, “Twice babe.”

“Give it up.” Raven raised her hand for a high five. Then proceeded to spread it around the table, each girl absently slapping hands, the routine now down pat.

“Hey you want anything to eat?” O asked Lexa.

“No, I can’t stay too long, Anya has to leave early today.”

“So, I didn’t know you had a motorcycle, what is it? A Harley?” O asked.

“Yeah. Thought I would enjoy one of our rare sunny days. How are you ladies doing?” She let her eyes linger over Clarke a little longer than necessary, her gaze taking a quick tour of her lips and her chest and back up, where a set of blue eyes blazed back at her.

“We’re doing good. We were just about to analyze Clarke’s dreams,” Raven said, which earned her a little kick in the shin, which in turn caused her to jump a little.

O looked at Raven, “You okay?” She got a quick nod yes.

“Oh fun, what are you dreaming about?” Lexa pursed her lips and blew on her coffee before hesitantly taking a sip.

Clarke caught herself staring at those lips a little longer than necessary. “Nothing, I’m not dreaming about anybody.”

“Anybody?” Raven looked at her, “I thought you were dreaming about the wedding?”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, you didn’t.” She felt another well-placed kick to the shin, which caused another little hop in her seat.

“Seriously, what’s with the twitch?” O asked Raven again.

“Nothing, my cooch hurts.”

“Your cooch hurts?”

“Yeah, didn’t you ever get shooting pains up your cooch?”

“No. Clarke should she be getting shooting pain there? Is that from the scrape on your va-jay-jay? Do I need to worry?”

“She's fine. Happens all the time,” Clarke assured her as she took a big gulp of coffee.

“Who’s got a scrape on their va-jay-jay?” Lexa asked.

“Oh, well, let me tell you what happened to me…” Raven started.

“Okay, we’re about to eat, maybe we should leave your scabby va-jay-jay out of the conversation,” Octavia said, patting her girlfriend’s thigh.

“You brought it up,” Raven said, miffed that her muff was off the table.

“So, Clarke, you’re dreaming about the wedding?” Lexa asked as she added a little sugar to her mug.

“Some call them dreams, others call them nightmares,” Raven said bracing herself for what was coming. How Clarke could hit the same exact spot three times in a row was amazing.

“Can we change the subject, because my dreams are not that interesting,” Clarke said, with a hot stare directed at her bestie.

Raven felt the bruise on her shin swelling and decided to give up the ghost.  

O picked up the slack. “So, Lex, what’s going on with you, how’s Costia?”  

Lexa was pretty certain they covered this topic the other day. “She’s good, we get together every so often.”

“So, like you’re dating? Or what?” O was coached to bring this topic up, by the matchmaker. The ploy was to make sure Clarke knew that Lexa could still be ‘had.’ O still wasn’t sure she was on board with this matchmaking mission, but she did know that her friend was not happy in her current situation.

“I don’t know about dating, we hang out…you know, we’re not exclusive or anything like that.”

“Yeah, at least you’re getting laid,” Raven said. “How ‘bout you Clarkie, how’s your sex life? Still in a perpetual state of celibacy?” Clarke glared at her and Raven had instant regrets as the bruise on her shin got bigger.  

“I’m not celibate,” Clarke said with a huff. “We have sex, we had it... just...a little bit ago. Our schedules are very busy. Sometimes, we have to coordinate. It’s hard to fit it in.”

“It’s hard to fit it in? God, there’s a penis joke in there somewhere,” Raven said to O with a wink.

“So, what? You guys need to make appointments or something? Does a reminder pop up on your phone?” Lexa asked.

“Doctor hours are long, and sometimes they don’t match up. He’s home, I’m not, I’m home, he’s not.” Clarke didn’t know why she felt like she had to defend herself and her lack of sexual activity. “We don’t work normal business hours like some people.” Clarke knew that sounded pretentious, but she didn’t care.

“Ah, you see, us lowly dog walkers have a lot of time on our hands for extracurricular activity.”

“I didn’t say that. You did.”

“Here we go,” Raven said under her breath.

“Pretty sure it was implied,” Lexa said with a smirk. She picked a piece of lint off her jeans.  “When was it that you dated that woman?”  

Clarke was caught off guard by the question. “What?”

Lexa smiled at her, “You told me you dated a woman when we were slow dancing at the bar last week, I just wondered how long ago that was.”

“I told you that?” Clarke didn’t remember saying that exactly, but she did remember she had too much to drink that night.

“You did.”  

The waitress came back with everyone’s breakfast and started handing out plates.

“Well, how about you forget I told you that, and let’s change the subject. How’s everybody’s dogs?” Clarke figured that was a nice safe topic. She grabbed some hot sauce and sprinkled a little bit on her omelet.

“Well, Rocky ate rabbit poop the other day, and when I tried to pull him away from it, he rolled in it. Pass the salt please,” Raven said.   

“Roscoe got into the bathroom trash and ate a pantyliner, is there extra butter over there?” O asked.

Clarke looked askance at Octavia, “He ate a used pantyliner?”

“Yup.” O added extra butter to her toast.

“First, he picked it out of the trash,” Raven said between bites, “then he ran downstairs, with O in hot pursuit, then I walk in the front door, oblivious to it all, he darts out the front door and over to our eighty year old neighbor’s house. She’s sitting on her front porch, and Roscoe decides to sit with her and eat the pantyliner over there. I guess he thought he was dining out or something.”

“Oh shit, speaking of eating, that reminds me, I ran out of dog food last night. This morning I had to give him a box of cereal,” Clarke said as she buttered her toast.

Lexa’s eyebrows shot up, “An entire box of cereal?”

“Yeah. He likes to eat. He's eating me out of house and home. Like he's literally eating my house. Yesterday he chewed the molding off the wall. And then he ate it.” She scooped out some raspberry jam and began to spread it on the toast.

Lexa was slightly dumbfounded. “You fed him an entire box of cereal?”

“Yeah. It was granola, geez calm down. It wasn't Lucky Charms. I do know not to feed him something like that, I mean, I’m not a moron.”

Lexa just shook her head, “No wonder he’s gaining weight.”

“Did you just call my dog fat?”

“How often do you feed him?” Octavia asked.

“Feed him? I just leave food out for him.”

Raven pointed at Clarke with a fork full of omelet, “I did that. In the beginning. Before I got in trouble from this one,” she said nodding her head in Octavia’s direction. “Evidently that’s bad form. They’re not cats. Just an FYI.”

“You don't monitor how much he eats?” O asked as she cut up her eggs and mixed in the hash browns.

“This is what I monitor, his bowl is empty, I fill his bowl.” Clarke took a big bite out of her toast.  

Lexa was having trouble grasping how someone could be so clueless about animals. “You fed him an entire box of cereal?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, exasperated by the cereal thing. “Yes, Linda, I fed him an entire box of cereal.” She smiled to herself. She found the Linda thing funny.

“You really operate on people? I find that frightening,” Lexa said.

Clarke’s smile dropped off her face immediately and she gave her the death stare. “Don’t you have a dog to walk?”  

That earned her another tiny little smirk from Lexa. Clarke decided she was the queen of smirk. Gay women probably thought it sexy. But Clarke just found it annoying. And arrogant.

“Why don’t you two just bang and get it over with,” Raven mumbled under her breath.

“What did you say?” “What?” Lexa and Clarke asked simultaneously, looking at Raven.

“Huh? Nothing.”

“How’s Phil?” Lexa asked, immediately turning her attention back to Clarke.

“Finn, his name is Finn, and he’s good. Not that you really care I’m sure.”

“Is he the dog lover in the family?” Lexa asked.

“He does like dogs, yes. Why?”

“It’s just that, you don’t seem to like dogs.”

“Dogs are okay. They’re fine. I like dogs just fine.”

Lexa cocked an eyebrow and gave her a skeptical look.

“What’s _that_ look? Huh? Why don’t you ask me again if I fed the dog a whole box of cereal? Because I think you only said it, like, five times,” Clarke said.

Lexa laughed. “No, no. I get it. You’re a...cat person.”

“You say that like it’s some horrible thing.”

“It is what it is.”

“What does that mean?”

“I find that cat people have certain...personality traits.”

“Oh, did you do a study or something?”

“Here we go... _again_ ,” Raven said, as she reached down into her man purse, and pulled out a small bag of popcorn. She opened it up and started to eat it, watching Clarke and Lexa go back and forth.

She leaned over to Octavia, “So, we’ve had Linda, Lisa, Louann, which one do you think Clarke uses?”

“Ten bucks says she pulls a new one out of her ass,” O said.

“You’re on.”

“Popcorn?” O asked.

“Yeah, I call them clexa,” Raven said, pointing back and forth from Clarke to Lexa, “and they’re the most entertaining thing in my life right now. It’s better than the movies. Going to the movies costs us, what? Fifty bucks? We can take them to breakfast and still have some money leftover.”

Octavia nodded her head, “Clexa? I love it.” They both tuned back into the conversation between Clarke and Lexa.

“Okay, Lori …”

Octavia turned to Raven and pointed, “Boom! I win,” she said as she spread her arms wide with victory. Raven dug in her pocket and slapped ten bucks on the table.

“…whatever you say, cause you’ve evidently done scientific studies on the difference between cat people and dog people.” Clarke paused to catch her breath. “I know this, cats are smart. So cat people are smart.”

“Dogs are smart.”

“Have you seen my dog? He literally likes to lie on his back and pee in the air, then he tries to catch it, in his mouth. I mean, I like him and all, but...dogs are dumb.”

“You’re dumb.” Lexa stuck her fingers into her glass of water and flicked a little at Clarke.

O leaned into Raven, “Can you imagine them having sex?”

“I’d give my right tit to see that.”

Clarke and Lexa looked over at that moment, “What?” “Huh?”

“What?” O asked them both innocently.  

“What was that?” Clarke countered.

“Where?” Raven asked a little louder than usual, looking around behind her, trying to distract Clarke and Lexa from finding out what was said. “Oh my god, there it is.”

“What?” Clarke asked, straining her neck to see around Raven.

Raven turned back around, “Whatever. What were you guys saying?” Raven could tell by the confusion on Clarke’s face that her subterfuge was successful.

“Is that popcorn?” Clarke asked her.

“Yeah.”

“We’re eating breakfast.”

“So, I like popcorn with my Clexa.”  

“With your what?” Clarke asked.

“With my eggs, I like popcorn with my eggs. Carry on, what were you guys talking about?”

“Uh, I forget. I’m sure it wasn’t important.”

“Well, here’s something important, my birthday is coming up, and we’re having a shindig at the house,” Raven said, as she dumped the last of the popcorn into her mouth. “You all are invited by the way. There’ll be lots of popcorn.”

Lexa’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She took it out. “I have to take this, work stuff, I’ll catch you guys later, okay?”   

“Later girl, take care.” They watched as Lexa walked out the door talking on her phone.

Clarke looked at Raven, “You didn’t say what I thought you said back there, did you?”

“What did you think I said?”

“Never mind. I don’t think I wanna know.”

The rest of the breakfast was uneventful, as they chatted about their work weeks. When they were finished, they said their goodbyes and got up to leave. It was Clarke’s turn to pay so she went over to the register to settle up. She looked outside as she waited for the credit card approval. Raven and Octavia were pulling out of their parking spot and she gave them a wave. She signed her receipt and headed out the door.  

Before she got to her car, her phone started ringing. “Hello?” She opened her car door and slid into the front seat, leaving the door open. “Crap, when did that happen? Okay, I’ll be right in, I’m getting in my car now.” She ended the call and turned the keys in her ignition. Nothing. “Shit.” She tried again and she heard a weird noise, but nothing turned over. “No, no, not now.”

Lexa was sitting on a bench a couple stores down, finishing up her call when she saw Clarke come out of the cafe. She watched as she got into an old sedan and talked on her phone. She was mildly surprised at the car, she expected the latest and greatest, not some fifteen year old clunker. She just watched her for a couple seconds, then noticed that the car wasn’t starting.  

Clarke got out of the car and popped her hood. Lexa couldn’t wait to see what would happen next, figuring there was no way Clarke knew a radiator from an air filter. Sure enough, with her hands on her hips, Clarke just stared at the engine and made a show of poking around. She did look upset so Lexa sauntered over to her. “Problem?”

Clarke was startled by the question and the questioner, thinking Lexa had left a while ago, but now noticing that the motorcycle was still in its spot. “It won’t start.”

“Well, there’s a surprise. How old is thing? Is it a Studebaker? Like, 1930 something? Gotta million miles on it?”

“Funny. You’re so funny. I’ll have you know this is the first new car that I ever bought.”

“Did you buy it when you were twelve?”

Clarke crossed her arms and stared at her for a second. “I’ve had it a long time, and I’m quite attached to it.”

“Like your wallet. You seem to form curious attachments.”

Clarke pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “I have an emergency back at the hospital.” She looked back at the engine and let out an exasperated groan. “I don’t have time for this.” She banged the hood back into place and took out her phone, “I’ll just call zuber or something.”

“You mean Uber?”

“Uber, juber, whatever, do you have their number?”

“Do you have an account with them?”

“No, why?”

“Usually you have an account and they charge your account when they pick you up. And it’ll probably take them about ten minutes before they even get here. Why don’t you let me give you a ride? I’ll get you there in eight minutes.”  

“A ride? On that thing?” Clarke pointed to Lexa’s motorcycle.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with that _thing_.”  

“They’re dangerous. I need to make it there in one piece.”

“I’ll get you there in one piece.”

“I’m a doctor...”

“We all know that,” Lexa slipped into the conversation.

“And I’ve seen plenty of motorcycle accident victims. And it’s not pretty.”

“I’ll go slow, c’mon, the more you talk, the later you’ll be. Get your sunglasses.”

Clarke contemplated her options. She needed to get moving so she relented. She reached into her car and pulled out her glasses. “Okay, but go slow.”  

“Scout’s honor,” Lexa said, holding up two fingers. She led them over to her bike and took her helmet and jacket out of her saddle bags. “Here, you wear my jacket and the helmet.”

Clarke looked at the helmet. It was just half a helmet really. And it looked like it belonged on a Hell’s Angel. “That’s a helmet? It’ll barely cover my head,” she said as she shrugged into the black leather jacket.

Lexa took the helmet and placed it on Clarke’s head, tightening the chin strap. “It looks hot,” she said with a tiny smile and a gentle pat on her new lid. She took Clarke’s sunglasses from her and stuck them on. “Oh yeah, good look doc,” she said with a wink.

Clarke did a mental double take. “Did you just flirt with me?” She had to ask because this kind of interaction was not their thing.

“Sorry, momentary lapse of judgement. I have a weakness for chicks and bikes.”

“Oh.” Clarke was a little disappointed. “What about you? Don’t you have another helmet?”

“No, I’ll be fine.” Lexa slung her leg over the bike and lifted the kickstand. “Get on.”  

Clarke half lifted her leg, put it back on the ground, lifted the other leg, turned her body, shook her head, and put that one back on the ground. Tried again, but just couldn’t grasp how to gracefully climb aboard the bike. No way she was gonna fall off a stationary bike in front of this woman.  

Lexa watched patiently with her eyebrows raised and a bemused smile on her lips. “Is that, like an Irish jig? Or like the safety dance?”  

Clarke was contemplating her next move and ignored her.

“Haven’t you ever been on a motorcycle before?” Lexa asked a little incredulously. She just figured at some time or another, everyone sat on a motorcycle.

“No, I told you, they’re killing machines.”

“Okay,  _that’s_ a bit much. Put your hands on my shoulders, lift your leg over and sit down.”

Clarke tentatively put her hands on Lexa, like she was touching something hot, her tongue was sticking out a little as she slowly raised her leg, placed it on the other side of the bike and sat down. She did not expect to have her legs spread this wide. “Now what?”

“Now put your arms around my waist and hold on.” Clarke hesitantly placed her hands on either side of Lexa’s waist. “Lean into me when we go around curves, keep your feet up at all times even when we’re stopped. Got it?”

Clarke nodded her head and the helmet came down over her sunglasses blocking her vision.  She was afraid to let go now that she was latched onto Lexa’s waist, but maybe this was the best way to ride, not seeing anything. Soon her view came back as Lexa’s thumb hitched the helmet back up into place. Clarke caught Lexa’s small smile in the mirror and her stomach fluttered a little bit. Maybe she was going to throw up, because now was not the time for butterflies. She gave a little nod to thank her.

Lexa started the bike, turned her head back to Clarke, “Hold on tighter.” She felt Clarke grab a little tighter. She shook her head and took Clarke’s hands and pulled her arms around her, patted them when they were in the correct position.

This new position caused Clarke to be pulled up against Lexa’s back, way closer than she anticipated, her chin solidly resting on Lexa’s shoulder.

“Ready?” Lexa asked. Clarke nodded and Lexa backed the bike out of the parking spot, when she was out of the spot, she downshifted and put the bike in first.

“Slow, remember,” Clarke reminded her.

Lexa smiled and nodded. She let go of the clutch, started forward and felt Clarke fade back a little, then quickly grab at Lexa’s stomach to steady herself. She started down the street only to feel Clarke stiffen behind her.

“Slower,” Clarke said with a little panic.

Lexa looked at her speedometer, it said twenty. Lexa loved to ride women on her bike. There was nothing like a beautiful woman clinging to her while the wind whipped at their faces. Only this was Clarke and wind doesn’t exactly whip at your face when you’re going twenty miles per hour.  

“Slower please.”

Lexa turned her head back towards her passenger. “Clarke, if I go any slower I’ll be walking the bike.”

They made snail-paced progress. Every once in a while, when stopped at a red light, Lexa would jerk them forward quickly as the light turned green. Clarke would squeal a little and grab onto Lexa. Of course, she was doing it on purpose. She was getting a little thrill with Clarke clinging to her. Her brain found her annoying, but her body was responding to her. The thrum of the engine between her legs and the press of Clarke’s breasts against her back was a little intoxicating, and it was making her a wee bit horny.

When they finally made it to the hospital, Lexa stopped the bike, put the kickstand down and got off. She helped Clarke off next. “Your destination, madam,” Lexa said with a bow and a wave of her hand. “Sorry, was ten minutes instead of eight. Next time we’ll ride bicycles, might be quicker.”

“Thank you.” Clarke took off her sunglasses and went to remove the helmet, but couldn’t get the chin strap undone. While she fiddled with it, Lexa came closer, leaned in, and helped her. Clarke looked up into Lexa’s eyes, and felt a thud in her chest and a small jolt, like an electric current ripple through her body. She wondered if Lexa felt it too. She quickly looked away and cursed her stupid reactionary body. Lexa’s hands were soft and gentle against her chin as she snapped open the buckle and removed the helmet.

“There you go. Wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Do I have any bugs in my teeth?” Clarke said, pulling back her lips.

Lexa made a show of giving her teeth the once over. “Nope. You’re good. Besides, bugs don’t stick at ten miles an hour, they just kinda roll off and go about their business.”

Clarke fluffed at her hair, “Thanks again. It was actually pretty nice of you to give me a ride.”

“You sound surprised that I might be nice.”

“Oh, it’s surprising,” Clarke said as she walked away.

“Clarke, what about your car?”

She stopped and turned around. “Oh crap. I don’t know.”

“I have a friend who’s got a repair shop, I can have him tow it there and fix it if you want.”

Clarke came walking back towards her, “Careful, I’m gonna start thinking you like me, what with all this generosity.”

“I didn’t say I was paying for it, I was just gonna get it towed for you. Here, give me your keys.”

Clarke reached into her jacket pocket fishing for her keys, a couple of doggie poop bags fell on the ground, and she reached down to catch them before they blew away. She stood back up with a fist full of bags and stuffed them back in her pocket.

“Wow, that’s a lot of poop bags.”

Clarke reached around to the other pocket and withdrew another handful of bags.

Lexa raised her eyebrows “Wups, more bags.”

“The dog shits a lot,” she said as she continued rooting through her pockets.

“Probably from all that granola cereal he eats,” Lexa said with a small teasing smile.

Clarke looked at her, “Very funny,” she said, with the hint of a smile. “Ah, here they are.” She handed the keys over to Lexa. “So, wow, I’m gonna seriously owe you after all this. I mean, the ride, the tow.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of how you can repay me.”

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that,” Clarke said as she walked away.

Lexa grinned at her, “Goodbye Clarke.” She stared after her, admiring the sway of her hips. Her body was amped up right now, she figured, that’s why she was enjoying the view.  

Clarke turned around before she went through the doors, “It wasn’t so bad,” she called back.

“What wasn’t bad, me or the ride?”

“The ride. Bye Linda.” And with big smile on her face she turned and went inside.

 

 * * * 

 

Later, Clarke came back into her tiny office after dealing with her emergency. She had time to get on the conference call that her dad insisted she listen to. He had big plans for her. He wanted her to eventually take his place on the board, and wanted her to start learning about the business side of running the hospital. She dialed into the call and sat back to listen.   

Within three seconds she was bored out of her mind. She rubbed her eyes to try and stay awake. She had a blank piece of paper sitting in front of her so she took out her pencil and started sketching and doodling. Her mind drifted back to her first motorcycle ride. She closed her eyes and remembered the feel of Lexa’s abs through her shirt. They were hard and ribbed and sexy as hell. She wondered if Dream Lexa would visit her tonight. She hadn’t had one in a few days. She was overdue. She stopped questioning why she was having them, just figuring she was sexually frustrated with Finn. And Lexa was, admittingly, damn gorgeous, even if she was arrogant, so of course her subconscious went wild with the possibilities.   

Finally, what seemed like an hour even though it was fifteen minutes, the call ended. Clarke looked down at her drawing, why was she not surprised that it was Lexa, leaning against her motorcycle, with her signature smirk. She let her eyes linger over it for a few minutes. Then she locked it away in her top drawer. This was getting a little ridiculous.

 

   * * * 

 

_Lexa walked out to get her bike, and stopped short. Clarke was leaning against her bike, in just her blue lacy bra and a matching thong. Lexa’s body temperature skyrocketed, with most of the heat concentrated between her legs. She couldn’t remember ever seeing anyone this sexy before. She walked slowly up to her bike, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s.  When she was standing in front of Clarke, she lifted her and sat her on the bike, side-saddle. She spread her knees and moved in closer, capturing Clarke’s lips with her own, her tongue asking for and getting permission to enter Clarke’s mouth. Her hands were entangled in long blonde curls as she held Clarke’s head still, so she could kiss her deeply. Clarke was pushing Lexa’s jacket off her shoulders and it fell to the ground. Both started moaning into their kisses and Lexa’s hands left Clarke’s head and moved lower, cupping her full breasts, running her thumbs back and forth across Clarke’s hardening nipples. Lexa slowly sunk to her knees in front of Clarke, looking up at her, watching as Clarke nodded her head, giving her permission to go further. Lexa’s fingers slipped beneath the cotton panel of the thong, and started to caress and stroke Clarke’s hot center. Clarke reached out and put her hand behind Lexa’s head, bringing her closer. Lexa moaned as her lips made contact with …_

“Hey Lex, wake up, are you okay?” Costia asked, shaking her gently.

Lexa’s eyes opened and she was instantly annoyed at not being able to finish what she started. But as the fog left her brain she slowly realized where she was and who she was with. “Huh?”

“You okay? You were moaning.”

“I’m fine, just dreaming I guess.”

Costia put her head on Lexa’s shoulder and ran her hand over her breasts, “Sounded like a good dream. Was I in it?” she asked playfully, her hand reaching lower, making its way between her legs, “holy shit you’re wet, babe. What were you dreaming about? Do you need me to take care of that?”

Lexa was caught between a rock and hard place. Literally. She could use the release, but her body evidently wanted a certain blonde. She pushed any guilty feelings aside.

Costia didn’t wait for the okay, as she started to kiss and suck on Lexa’s nipples, making her way down her abdomen, her tongue leaving a wet, hot trail across her stomach. Lexa gasped as Costia arrived at her destination. Her hands involuntarily grabbed at Costia’s head, bringing her closer and letting her know what she needed. She closed her eyes and the good doctor brought her to climax.  

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the sparrow, for the va-jay-jay idea. So. I can't think of anything funny right now. I'm ready to post. But I guess I'll wait a bit, maybe something will strike me as funny. Or at least note worthy. Oh, and we all need updates on #carolE and #bigsis, k? If you haven't been reading the comments, you should, more entertaining then the story. We have some funny people chiming in. This is a totally, socially, interactive story. We've got people sharing funny stories, we have others commenting on their funny stories, we have pics of dogs, and I guess if you have a funny cat pic, that would work too, since Clarke is a cat person. And, to appease the PR police, I'm always up a for a tumble on the tumblr. lorig11. Yup, that's it, I never did think of anything funny. If you did, please share.


	9. I'm taking a poll, need reader input

This isn't a chapter, but I need some help from readers of this and Hollywood, mainly Hollywood. And I didn't want to be cruel and post on Hollywood, since the last time I did that, some had heart palpitations, thinking a new chapter was there. Just G, aka the great wanheda, aka one of my PR peeps, sent me a link today. It's a contest by a publishing house, asking for fanfic writers to submit between 2000-3000 words for a contest, can be an excerpt from a current work, and the winner gets a publishing deal. Sounds fun right? I'm always up for a contest. And I know I probably won't win, because I'm more of a banter-y writer, not flowery or wordy, but fuck that. I feel comedy is under represented in the lesbian fiction world. (underrepresented is supposed to be one word, but it looks too long, so I split it up, poetic license.) Ok, so, the poll, I want to send my funniest scene to them, but I can't pick one, I would rather see what you all thought was the funniest scene.  Was it the limo? (the whole party scene is too long) was it the restaurant scene? or the talk talk scene? or the drag king scene? Or something else? HELP! I have about 4 weeks to pick something. I am working on the next update for Seattle, hopefully have something done soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets Lexa's doggos, and it's a one-sided love affair. And, I don't know, I guess the plot ( I use that term loosely) moves forward, barely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, my posting has become slower and slower as I become more critical of myself. I'm a douche. And Elizabeth has been falling asleep on her 'fluff it up' job, like, literally falling asleep. She's been working twenty hour days, so I decided to cut her some slack. Oh, just an FYI, fluff it up means add details, not add romantic, sappy, love fluff. Ok, our pictures this chapter:  
> 1\. Our dotted doggie is Xafir, sent to me by Commander Rainbow, don't you just wanna lay one on those super adorb pink lips?  
> 2\. Dr. Scooter Knickerbacher, aka knich94, with whom I share a love of tree frogs (see end note, and my new pseud pic), submitted her pic of Blue, the cat who likes frappa lappa jappas and has a toe fetish, he licks and bites your digits. And lastly,  
> 3\. Elizabeth woke up briefly and sent me a picture of handsome Mick, with his jester face, and then fell immediately back to sleep. Read this quietly so you don't wake her up, or, better yet, tumble her ass and tell her to wake the fuck up, I don't care. Just in case you forgot, her tumblr handle is hopelesshearteyes. She'd love to hear from you.  
> What else? Let's see, shout out to lisam and the sparrow, I used a couple of ideas from them in this chapter.  
> ** one last thing, Just G, aka the great wanheda, has told me that when she downloads the chapter for reading that she doesn't see the end notes, and she told me to tell everyone that. So if you download, you might be missing out on some fun stuff.

 

* * * 

 

Raven and O stopped by the hospital to pick Clarke up after work, since her car was still in the garage.

“I’m gonna start charging the both of you for this pick-up service,” Raven said as Clarke climbed into the back of her car. “Why is your car still in the shop?”

“It needs a new transmission, they’re waiting on some parts or something,” Clarke answered.

“Jesus, maybe it’s time for a new car, Clarkie,” O said. She leaned over and kissed her girl on the cheek, “I just like to be chauffeured around.”

“No, I love my car. And now it’ll be good for another hundred thousand miles.” Clarke noticed that they were going in the opposite direction of their respective houses. “Where we going?”

“I gotta drop something off,” Raven said vaguely, not offering up any more details.

“Well, aren’t you being fallacious,” O said, turning around to high five Clarke in the backseat.

“That’s disgusting, take that back,” Raven said.

“What?” O asked.

“Fallacious, fellatio, that’s gross, and has no place in this car.”

“Fallacious is not fellatio for Christ’s sake,” O said.

“Oh…” Raven said, keeping her eyes on the road. “Why didn’t you say so?”

“Huh?”

“What?”

“I don’t know, what?”

“What the fuck does fallacious even mean?” Raven asked, hanging her five in the air now that things were sorted out.

“To be deceitful, to mislead.”

“Well, that’s a shit ton better than giving blow jobs,” Raven said as she turned into a long driveway.

Clarke’s eyes got wide as she looked at the stone farmhouse in front of her. It looked to be over a hundred years old, but was obviously lovingly restored. Red shutters surrounded all the windows along the front, contrasting nicely with the dark stone. The property seemed to stretch out for miles. Clarke loved the country, and she used to dream about living on a farm when she was a little girl. “Wow, this is beautiful, where are we?”

“This, Miss Griffin, is where your dog comes every day.”

“Oh shit, Lexa’s place?”

“Yep.” Raven pulled up in front of the store and parked the car. “Everybody out.”

“I can just wait here,” Clarke said, the motorcycle ride still fresh in her mind. Well, all the sensations from the ride were still fresh in her mind, the way it felt to be pressed up against her, the way her hair smelled, the way her hands felt on her face. She had made the decision a couple days ago that this had to stop. This, whatever it was, infatuation, this weird physical attraction, needed to be nipped in the bud.

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud, get your ass out of the car,” Raven scolded.

Clarke sighed and opened the car door. The three gals went into the store and were met by one of Lexa’s employees.

“Can I help you ladies?” she offered.

“We're here to see Lexa, tell her it's Raven.”

“I think she’s out back in her house.” The woman got on the phone and paged Lexa. “Yo, you got a Raven here to see you? Yeah, okay, boss.” She hung up the phone. “Follow me.”

They walked through the store, out the back door, and headed over to Lexa’s cottage. She opened the door to greet them.

“Well, this is a surprise,” she said as they all hugged hello.

Except for Clarke, who kept a respectable distance from the hugging. Best not to touch her dream lover when awake. Definitely step one or two of the de-infatuation program.  

“C’mon in, you guys hungry?” Lexa asked.

“No, we’re good, we’re gonna head out and get something to eat when we leave,” O said.

Clarke took a quick look around the inside of the house and found it very charming. Damn it. She was hoping for a pig sty. Nothing like finding out someone is a complete slob to turn you off, but of course, the place was spotless.  

She wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, too busy ogling the decor, and not watching where she was walking as she banged into something big. She looked down and took a few quick steps back. She was staring at two very large pit bulls. Clarke liked dogs, she really did, but she was a little scared of pit bulls. When she was younger, their neighbor had a pit bull, and all he ever did was growl ferociously at Clarke through the fence and even nipped her once when she stuck her hand through to pet him. From then on, both her parents railed about the dangerous pit bull next door. She remembered having peanut butter stuck to her hand from lunch that day, and she tried to explain that to her parents, but it didn’t matter. The dog was “vicious.”

Lexa looked over at Clarke and saw her trepidation. “They’re harmless, Clarke, don’t worry.”

Clarke wasn’t reassured, she kept her hands up above her waist, afraid of getting bit, and walked over to the kitchen table to join everyone else.

“That’s Yogi, and the black and white one is Milo,” Lexa said, smiling a little, finding Clarke’s discomfort amusing. “They really won’t bother you.”  

Of course, as she said this, Yogi sat in front of Clarke and put his paw on her thigh. “Yogi, stop it, just push his paw down, Clarke.”

Clarke looked over at her, and then back at the dog. She carefully and slowly pushed his paw off. He was panting and drooling, and he growled and put his paw back on her leg.

“Maybe he wants to shake, shake his paw Clarke,” Raven said.

“I’m not shaking his paw.”  

Now both dogs were sitting in front of Clarke, panting all over her, and then Milo lay down and put his head on Clarke’s feet.

“Jesus boys, that’s enough. They usually don’t bother with new people, sorry Clarke.”

Clarke swallowed and sat still, trying not to show that she was still a little afraid. She had a paw on her thigh, and a big blocky head on her foot.

“Damn Clarke, they dig you,” O said.

“Or they’re gonna kill you,” Raven offered, always looking on the bright side.

“I’m not fond of pit bulls, that’s all,” Clarke said nervously.

“Seriously Clarke, they won’t hurt you. Unless you make a sudden move,” Lexa teased, but Clarke didn’t get it, or she didn’t appreciate it. One or the other, because she was met with an icy, blue stare.

“I hope you’re kidding.”

“Well, they can smell cat people a mile away, so that’s probably it,” Lexa said, trying to be serious.

“Really? You’re joking, right?”

Lexa just pursed her lips and shook her head. “They’re not fond of cats at all.”

“Good doggie,” Clarke said to Yogi, who had moved closer now, his paw further up her thigh.

Lexa laughed, “Clarke, I’m just having some fun with you, they won’t hurt you.”

“Is that really the way to have fun with someone? Cause it's not funny.”

“It's a little funny.” Lexa took her index finger and thumb and almost pinched them together, “Little bit,” she said with a smirk.

Clarke glared at her. “What if I really had a phobia about pit bulls?”

Raven slyly put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a little popcorn, slipping it into her mouth.

“Then I guess I'd owe you an apology. Do I owe you an apology?”

Clarke thought about lying, just to make her apologize, but she got distracted when she looked over at Raven. “Are you eating popcorn?”

“No.”

“Yes you are.”

“No I'm not.”

“There's a kernel stuck to your lip.” And Clarke reached over and flicked it off, right into Yogi’s mouth. They all flinched a little when he snatched it out of midair, his jaws snapping shut. Now Clarke really didn’t want to move, so she just sat still and prayed this little meeting would wrap up quickly.

Raven and Lexa were now discussing the website, Raven showing her some snapshots of the web pages that she printed out.

After a few minutes had passed, Clarke leaned over to O, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Well, go,” O whispered back.

Clarke looked down at the dogs, both looked adoringly back up at her. “Why are they looking at me?”

“Well, maybe they smell Oliver.”

“Or maybe they smell Jinx and wanna eat me.”

“They’re not gonna eat you.”

“Lexa, where’s your bathroom, Clarke has to go wee wee,” O said, absently dropping some baby speak.

Clarke was a little mortified at O’s outburst.

Lexa looked over and saw a little pink in Clarke’s cheeks. She pointed down the hallway, “First door on your left down there.”

Clarke slowly pushed Yogi’s paw off her leg, slowly moved her foot out from under Milo’s head, and stood up. Both dogs got up immediately, their eyes never leaving Clarke. She gingerly stepped around them and hurried off down the hallway, with the dogs in hot pursuit.

Lexa leaned out of her chair and watched the parade to the bathroom with a perplexed look on her face. “Damn, they never act that way around strangers. Huh.”

Raven and O were cackling. “She’s probably in there shitting herself,” Raven said gleefully, clearly enjoying all things Clexa, as usual. Would there ever be enough popcorn?

Clarke slipped into the bathroom, shutting the door quickly to keep the dogs out. She leaned against the closed door, hoping it was strong enough to hold off two seventy-pound dogs. She took stock of the bathroom, and found it to be as lovely as the rest of the house. The walls were a light gray, and there were rose-colored accents all around. It was really quite tasteful and Clarke cursed again. Why couldn’t her bathroom be disgusting? Why couldn’t there be hair in the sink, dirty clothes on the floor, mold in the shower? It was fucking pristine, goddamn it, and she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to soak in the claw foot tub, wrapped up in strong arms, and oh god, what was she gonna dream about tonight.  

She shook her head to clear out the fantasy, took care of business, washed up and opened the door, forgetting about her faithful guardians, promptly tripping over them and landing flat on her face. Now prone on the floor, she was subjected to inquisitive nuzzling about the face. She froze. Waiting for the imminent bite that never came, instead getting solidly licked, her mouth agape, only to be filled with a large doggie tongue.

All three women were standing at the door, getting ready to leave, watching Clarke get it on with Lexa’s dogs.

“Yo Clarke, quit frenching the dogs, we gotta go,” Raven said impatiently.

Clarke got up and went back in the bathroom to wash the doggie kisses off her face. She came back out and was faithfully followed to the front door.

They all said their goodbyes, and Lexa had to call her dogs back to her, as they tried to follow Clarke. When they drove away, Lexa looked down at her traitorous canines. “What was that boys?  I mean, Jesus, the slobbering, the kissing, that is a cat person,” she scolded. “We don’t fall all over cat people. Especially ones that are engaged. And we definitely don’t like that particular cat person,” Lexa said quietly, more to convince herself then the pooches. They looked up at her once, then continued to stare out the door, pining after their new love.  

* * * 

 

 _Clarke sank deeper into the_ _tub, bubbles puffing into the air. She loved bubble baths. She leaned her head on the backside of the claw foot tub and closed her eyes. As she relaxed in a semi-dream state, she heard the click of the door and opened her eyes._ _Lexa was there, in tattered jeans and a white tank top, with no bra. Clarke licked her lips and swallowed. Lexa’s nipples pushed against the soft cotton fabric of her shirt. She slowly made her way over to the tub and stood next to Clarke. After staring up into green eyes and getting lost for a moment, Clarke reached out and slowly undid the button on Lexa’s jeans. She watched her hand, which was covered in bubbles, and seemed to have a mind of it’s own, as it slowly slid the zipper down. Clarke knew there was nothing under those jeans, she just knew. She looked back up, to see Lexa’s reaction, and the hunger she saw in her eyes made her heart stop. Lexa reached into the top of her jeans and slowly slid them off, and Clarke watched their journey as they slid past her thighs, then her knee caps and landed at her ankles. Lexa stepped out of the jeans, now just wearing her tank. She stepped into the tub and slid down. Clarke reached out and pulled the tank over her head. Lexa reached out and pulled Clarke into her lap. A wave of water was sent cascading out of the tub and onto the floor. Their lips met and Clarke was lost. The kisses were slow and soft at first, but they were both too hungry, and mouths opened and tongues played. Clarke gasped into Lexa’s mouth when she felt two beautiful fingers slide inside, when the third one found it’s way home she moaned and her hips bucked. Clarke returned the favor and now they both were thrusting into each other, free hands tangled in hair, pushing mouths together. When Clarke was getting close she broke off the kiss to breathe, to pant really, she began murmuring gibberish, maybe she was speaking in tongues, she called a name, she was so close now, the muscles in her belly tightened, the tipping point was coming, Clarke was coming…_

“Clarke.”

_No, no, no, Clarke thought, I just need another couple of seconds…_

“Clarke,” Finn said as he shook her awake.

Clarke opened her eyes only to be met by Finn, leaning over so close it frightened her. “Aaahhh!” she yelped as she sat straight up.

“Aaahhhh!” he yelped back, startled.

“Shit,” Clarke said. She was frustrated and annoyed, she was so _close_.  She stared around the bedroom, as three pairs of eyes stared back. Feline, canine, and human.

“Are you okay?” Finn asked.

“Yes,” she said exasperated. “Why?”

“You were thrashing around, then you said Linda, no, first you said Louann, then you said Linda. I thought maybe you were reliving some awful surgery you had today. Or had some terrifying interaction with a patient named Linda, or Louann,” smiling a little at his own joke.

Clarke got her bearings back, and her head hit the pillow. “I’m fine.  I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure. Go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“It’s okay,” he said as he put his arms around her to spoon her. “I’ll hold you until you fall back asleep.” He nestled up behind her, his hand around her breast, and he fell asleep almost instantly.

Clarke lay awake, Finn now snoring lightly into her back. She carefully removed his hand from her breast. Now why did she feel the need to do that, she thought to herself? Was it because she felt like she belonged to someone else in the middle of the night? No! Don't be silly, Clarke. Sometimes he would jerk around in his sleep, that was all, and he would squeeze the shit out of it. Her thoughts drifted back to her dream and she cursed her stupid luck. This time she was so close. Dammit. She almost came in her dream. Is that even possible? Can you actually have an orgasm while sleeping? She’d have to look that one up tomorrow. And my god how quickly she had gotten aroused. She usually wasn’t that quick. What did this woman do to her? What kind of sexual hold did she have over her? So much for nipping it in the bud. And that wasn’t the bud she wanted to nip. Her thoughts went on and on and on, until she finally fell asleep two hours later. 

* * * 

 

Clarke answered her phone the following morning, still tingling from her dream the night before. “May I help you?”

“What are you doing?”

“Research.”

“What are you researching?”

Clarke hesitated. She couldn’t tell Raven she was looking up whether it was possible to have orgasms in your dreams, could she? Maybe she could. “Finn and I were talking and both wondered if it was possible for women to have an orgasm in their sleep.” There, a harmless little white lie.

“Oh, totally possible.”

“Really?”

“Used to happen to me all the time, when I was with what’s-her-name.” What’s-her-name was Raven’s girlfriend before Octavia. Raven broke it off because, ‘she didn’t like when Raven used the word fuck.’ And, ‘she was boring as fuck.’

“We would start getting busy, and she was so fucking dullsville in bed I fell asleep. But I still managed to have an orgasm, cause I’m that good.”

“You are totally making that up, Rave.” Clarke christened Raven ‘Rave’ when they were in college. It was their first day in their dorm room, brand new roomies, and Raven had gone off on some F-bomb dropping tirade about something, and Clarke, who was horrified, said she was a raving lunatic. The nickname stuck.

“Let’s go walk the dogs and you can tell me all about your sleep-induced orgasms with Phil. Maybe we should set him up with what’s-her-name, they can sleep and have orgasms at the same time, like multitasking.”

“Stop it. Okay, what time, cause I have to go in for my shift at noon.”

“How about in an hour? Octavia’s at Bell’s, so it’s just us two chickens.”

“Oh, flying solo. Just bringing one dog?”

“Yeah, you remember what happened last time I walked two.”

“How could I forget? That hairless, scabby cooch of yours haunted my dreams for days. So which dog are you bringing?”

“I don’t know, I’ll flip a coin, and whoever doesn’t eat the coin goes.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in an hour.”

 

What is it about sunny days in Seattle?” Raven asked, as she inhaled the fresh air.

“You feel special. Like the gods are smiling on you or something.”

“You got enough poop bags?” Raven asked, as they both double checked their pockets for poop bags.

Clarke pulled out her now standard cache of bags, “I have plenty, my poop bags have poop bags.”

“Alrighty then, let’s go.”

They started walking and Clarke noticed that lately Oliver was getting much better on the leash, and she had no idea how that was happening, since she spent zero time training him. But she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, or a gift dog as was the case.

“According to the radar, we’re gonna have sunshine for hours. How’s the wedding planning going?”

“I have no idea.”

“What? Still? Who’s in charge? Abby?”

“Isn’t she always?”

“Clarke, are you sure you wanna go through with this? Just because your parents want you to marry Phil, doesn’t mean you have to, you know that right? I mean, you are thirty-three. You can live your own life.”

Clarke didn’t even correct her, once something was settled in Raven’s mind, that was it. Finn would be Phil until they day she died. “It’s fine. Finn and I are great together. Harry and Sally, remember? We practically finish each other’s sentences. We’re used to each other.”

“God, that sounds horrible.”

“What? It’s great.”

“If you say so.”

Raven made a grab at her lower belly. “Oh, ow.”

“What?”

“I just got a cramp in my belly.”

“You okay?”

“I think so. Where were we? Oh yeah, the mad adventures of Harry and Sally, boring each other 'til death do they part.”

“It’s not that bad, why do you think it’s that bad?”

“Because I’ve seen you in love, remember?”

“I’m in love with Finn.”

“Sure you are. How many times have you had sex this week?”

“This week?”

“Yeah, do I have to expand the timeline? This month?”

“Lots, we’ve had lots of sex...this year.”

“Aha!”

“I’m kidding, I was just kidding. We have sex, okay? How many times do you and O have sex?”

“Today? Twice.”

Clarke had no come back. “Well, good for you,” was all she could manage.

“Oh.” Raven doubled over as another cramp shot through her lower abdomen. “Oh, man. I don’t feel so good all of a sudden. My belly hurts. Ugh. I think I gotta go.”

“Go where? To have sex?”

“This is serious, I gotta _go,_ Clarke.”

“Oooh, that go. Now?”

“I didn’t go this morning. And I had shit for breakfast.”

“Well that’s apropos.”

“I ate a slice of chocolate creme pie.”

“For breakfast? No wonder your belly hurts.”

“Ooww. I gotta go, like, now.”

“Think about something else, maybe it’ll turtle.”

“Turtle? I need a bathroom. Isn’t there a bathroom around here somewhere?”

“I think it’s back by the parking lot.”

“Crap,” Raven said.

“Is that literally or figuratively?”

“Okay, I’ll try and ignore it.”

“Stop talking about it,” Clarke said.

“You stop talking about it.”

“You’re the one who said crap.”

“Oh, crap. Oh no. This is a code brown, Clarke, this is code brown. I gotta go, _now_.”

“Go behind a tree. You just have to dig a hole though.”

“What?”

“You’re supposed to dig a hole.”  

“What am I gonna dig a hole with Clarke? My keys? Or maybe a bobby pin.”

“You wear bobby pins? Can you still buy them?”

“Or, how about this, how about I walk the mile and half back to the car, drive to the Walmart, buy a shovel, come back here, dig my hole and take my shit. How about that?”

Clarke stared at her and didn’t speak for a good five seconds. “You done?”

“Yes, I’m done, and you’ve been such a great help.”

Clarke tried to come up with a solution for her friend. “Oliver digs great holes, I can get him to dig you one.”

“Oh, cause he listens so well?”

“True. There’s a big tree, just go behind there, that’ll hide you. Just use one of your poop bags.”

“Let me get this straight, you want me to go behind a tree, drop my drawers, pop a squat, and pick up my own shit with a doggie poop bag, on the only sunny day this month, with half of Seattle watching me.”

Clarke looked around, it was pretty crowded. The sunshine did usually bring everyone out of their houses. She tried to be a friend and think of other solutions. “Wait, I think there’s a porta-potty up here, around the curve.”

Raven stopped scowling long enough to remember that Clarke was right. “Oh lord Jesus, you’re right, let’s go, let’s go.”  

They both started power walking down the path, Raven was afraid to go faster, not wanting to spread her legs far, clenching her ass cheeks together.

Clarke offered the only advice she could think of, “Pinch that loaf, pinch that loaf.”

“I’m pinching, I’m pinching. Oh god oh god oh god.” They rounded the bend and the porta-pot appeared in front of them. “There it is.” Raven ran up to it and handed Clarke Roscoe’s leash, “Take this, take this, TAKE IT!” She just threw it at Clarke as she pulled open the door.

“Jesus Christ, okay.” Clarke bent over, picked up the leash, and looked around. She tilted her face up to the sky, she loved sunny days.

“Oh god,” Raven called from inside the john.

“What?”

“It’s disgusting in here. This thing is filled to the top, it’s practically overflowing. Gross.”

“Stop whining and just go.”

“You should see it.”

“Stop looking at it, why are you looking at it?”

“Somebody did like a dairy queen curl. How do you do that?”

“Oh my god, you need to stop looking and start going.”

“You think they swirled their butt around or something?”

“Oh...my…god, are we really talking about this?”

“Tell me you don’t look when you get in one of these.”

“I don’t look.”

“It’s like a train wreck, I can’t look away.”

“For god’s sake, just go already.”

“The seat’s gross, I can’t sit on it.”

“Hover.”

“And I don’t know if I can hover and do this. I can hover and pee, but I have trouble hovering and pooping.”

“Why, cause you had ACL surgery ten years ago? Just do it. And stop the commentary, people are coming.”

“Okay, okay.”

Clarke waited patiently for Raven to finish up, smiling at all the passersby. She felt down right friendly on a sunny day.

Finally Raven came out with a satisfied expression on her face.

“Whew. Oh man. Talk about relief.”  

Clarke took a whiff of Raven when she took back her leash. “You smell.”

“That smells Clarke, that,” she said as she pointed to the green john. “It’s the bowels of hell in there. Do you have to go?”

“No, I’m not going in there now, not after what you just did.”

“Well, it was no dairy queen curl, I’ll tell you that.”

The girls continued on their walk, Raven much more relaxed now, a little pep in her step. They came up to the baseball fields, which were filled with youth teams, enjoying the nice weather. “Hey isn’t that Lexa?" Raven asked, pointing over to one of the fields.  

“Where?” Clarke asked. Jesus, could this walk get any worse?  

“Over there, walking with that kid. Does she have a kid?”

“Why are you asking me? You guys are the ones who know her.”

“I guess I don’t know her as well as I thought I did. Wow, she has a secret kid, let’s go over and say hi.”

Clarke groaned. “No, between your code brown and the dairy queen curl in the porta-pot, I’ve reached my quota for things I don’t want to see today.”

“C’mon, let’s go.”

Clarke started to panic, the dream was too fresh in her brain. Lexa created too much confusion inside her, and she didn’t feel like dealing with it right now. “No, absolutely not, I can’t, I don’t want to, no, no, no," she said, shaking her head emphatically. “Jesus, it’s like she’s everywhere, I can’t get away from her,” she said more to herself.

“Calm down, spazzy, calm down. What do you mean it’s like she’s everywhere?”

Clarke was caught up in her own thoughts now, and wasn't paying Raven any mind. She was in the middle of being transported back into her dream bubble bath from last night, and her internal monologue turned external, and she babbled the thing that should never be babbled out loud, especially to Raven. “She’s in my goddamn dreams all the time, we’re always running into her everywhere we go…”

Raven stopped dead in her tracks.

Clarke looked back at her.

“What now?” Raven asked.

“What?”

“You didn’t say you’ve been dreaming about her, when did this start?”

Clarke groaned again. She looked to the heavens for help. God, did she say that out loud? God didn't answer.

“Clarke? Spill it.”

Obviously she had said it out loud. Clarke kept her lips closed, hoping Raven would forget everything that just fell out of her mouth. But who was she kidding? Certainly not Raven.

“Clarkie, what happens in these dreams, pray tell?”

“Can you forget I said anything?”

“That is not gonna happen.”

Clarke was defeated and she dragged Oliver over to a bench and sat down. “Sex. Sex is what’s happening in the dreams.” She took a deep breath, it actually felt good to get that off her chest. Maybe now they would stop. Did she want them to stop? Yes! Jesus.

Raven was speechless, for about half a second. “What...the...fuck.” They both sat in silence for a minute. “No wonder you don’t wanna have sex with Phil. I mean, there’s no fucking contest there. None...nil...naught...zero...zilch...”

“You done?”

“Zip...zippo...nothing...diddly-squat...”

“Finished?”

“Nada...never...nope... not even close...”

Clarke was just staring at her now. She gave her a full minute. “Are we..”

“Bupkis...jack squat...jack shit...goose egg...fuck all.”

“Jesus Christ,” Clarke said, running her fingers through her hair.

“Okay, I’m done.”

“You sure?”

Raven nodded, she’d exhausted her synonyms for ‘no.’  “What are you going to do about it?”

“Do? I don’t know. I’m sure it’ll play itself out eventually. It’s just an infatuation. Purely physical, it’ll go away. I’ll make it go away.”

“How you gonna do that?”

“By continuing to act like a jerk whenever I’m around her.”

“How’s that worked so far?”

“Shut up.” Clarke started rubbing her hands over her face. “Promise me you won’t say anything to anybody, I mean it. Please. Promise Raven.”

“Yeah, yeah, I promise. Wow. How many dreams have you had?”

“I’m done talking about it, okay?” Silence descended on them again. Both dogs had taken a seat and waited patiently for the walk to continue.

“I got an idea, let’s go over and talk to her.”

“What? No! Have you been listening to me?”

“Okay, but aren’t you curious if that’s her kid?”

“No, I’m not. I don’t really care. Let’s go.”

Raven acquiesced, and as they walked back to the car, her thoughts turned to her food-shopping list. She needed more popcorn. Next week’s party was going to be interesting, now that there was this new, spicy development. And there was no way she was going to run out of popcorn. She should probably hit the Costco on the way home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is almost done, so I promise I will post soon. Again, if you're not reading the comments, read them! We have some funny people reading the story. Now, what can I bore you with? So, I was back down in Florida last weekend, closing up the house for the summer. The first evening we had a thunderstorm, and during the storm we looked at the front door, and saw nine baby tree frogs plastered all over it, on the outside of course. Have never seen that down there before, and I was smitten. Little did I know that they would become my obsession for three days. The next night, we're coming back from dinner, and we approach the front door, it's dusk. And our tree frogs are back, and I tell the wife, get in quick, they're bouncy little fuckers, and of course she goes the opposite of quick and in comes a tree frog. In the house. He's the size of a nickel. And he immediately stuck himself to our wall. I go to grab him, and he's on the backside of the door, I take another swipe and he's back on the wall. I finally wrap my hands around him, open the door and toss him out, forgetting that he sticks to everything, cause I shut the door quick and he drops off my hand an onto the floor. Took a couple tries, but I finally got him outside. Next day, we get in the car. I start the engine, look on the hood, and there's a baby tree frog. Well, I can't drive with him on the hood, so I get out and now I'm trying to catch him, he bounces to the windshield, bounces to the roof, bounces to the trunk, with me in hot pursuit, bounces to the driveway. Now I can't run over him, so I'm scootching him off the driveway, and he was joined by a friend, I scootched them both away. Next day, we're at the store. I get into the car, and a baby tree frog is on the windshield. I can see his heart beating, because his underside was translucent, totally badass. Of course I can't drive with him on the windshield, out of the car, grabbing at him, grabbing air, he's bouncing, now there's two of them, how the hell did that happen? I manage to catch them both and put them in the bushes. Next day. At the store again, and I shit you not, another fucking baby tree frog on my windshield. The wife says, "leave him on there, maybe he wants to go for a ride." Against my better judgement, I left him on. Got home. No tree frog. I glared at the wife. Frog killer.  
> Ok, where's my funny stories? #carolE, #bigsis and anybody else? Let's keep it going, and send funny pics of your dogs and cats, use the email on my account, or I guess you can tumble me with them. lorig11.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary? Ah, Dr. Clarke is a sweet revelation, this takes place right after Raven's poop walk of shame. ok, let's get to the good stuff, the pics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, my friends, a big thank you to those of you who submitted these pics. This is so fun, please send me pics of your pets, because it makes our little story here so unique. We don't have a ton of people reading it, but those of you who are reading are loyal as hell, right Chuck? And I love you all! And we have the best reader participation of any story on this website. I think. Don't quote me on that.  
> 1\. First up, what can I say, rachel, aka rachel_gemini11, had this pic on her twitter, which by the way is gemini11@gemini11, give her a follow. The girl is 24/7 ADC. If you need a fix, tweet her ass. I mean, how perfect is this pic? ADC with a gray pittie??? Are you shitting me?? I love it. This story's Yogi.  
> 2\. Pittie number 2, Milo. that is actually me with a rescue dog, but damn the likeness to Milo is uncanny. ;)  
> 3\. My new friend from France, djeudj, came across this adorable goat while hiking in the Pyrenees. Obviously he's someone's pet, I mean look at that bell, someone wants to know where he's at.  
> 4\. What a handsome sheltie this is, Leo, from Da Sparrow. We have a sheltie at work, barks all fucking day long.  
> 5\. Uh oh. I do love me some pugs, from abbrashea, meet spensabi & saki. I also had a pug for 16 years. Liked to lift his leg on everything, and, at work, he would get on people's desks and eat their lunch and drink their coffee. He was a little shit. But he was my little shit. And his name was Milo. Yes, all my pets are showing up in my stories. Their 15 minutes of fame.  
> 6\. Heeerreee's Max! from Reader #26! Delirious Jer, look at that little bit 'o drool comin' outta his mouth. No judgement here fella, drool all you want, you little senior jack 'o russell terrier.  
> Thanks again everyone. How much time do I have left on this note, 3278 characters, ok, for those of you asking, the submission for the publishing contest, I sent the limo scene. I added a small paragraph to the beginning, to sorta set things up, which I then posted in Hollywood, cause I thought it was cute, and, I also added some stuff to Chapter 2 ( a Lexa/Costia flashback plus more of Lexa's feels in regards to Costia) and totally redid chapter 3 of Hollywood. As you know, I've been slaving away trying to make it into a book (fingers crossed), so these things that I added are what I've been working on. In case you want to check it out. It shows my **cough cough** growth as a writer.  
> Send pics to my email! It's on my homepage.

 

 

When Clarke made it to the hospital for her shift, she was met by an emergency appendectomy. She grabbed her chart to check on her surgery patient. It was a twelve-year-old boy who was admitted an hour ago with abdominal pains. Sue, her prep nurse, came up to her, “You reading your next chart?”

“Yeah, appendectomy? Anything I need to know?”

“Yup, the boy’s deaf. His family is in there. He signs and reads lips really well, so it’s pretty easy communicating with him. And they all seem real sweet and fun.”

“Fun? Good, I like when they’re fun. Okay, thanks Sue.” Clarke walked into the hospital room. The mother was on one side, sitting down, and had her hand resting on the boy’s arm. The father was standing on the other side. They were talking and signing, and Clarke could tell they were keeping the mood light, the boy laughing and smiling with his baseball glove still on his hand. “Hi everyone, I’m Dr. Clarke Griffin, and I’ll be doing,” she took a quick look down at the chart, “Aden’s surgery today.”

The father came over to Clarke and put his hand out, “I’m Jasper Jordan, and this is my wife Maya.”

Maya got up to shake Clarke’s hand, “Nice to meet you doctor.”

“Please, call me Clarke.” Clarke was never one for formalities. She turned her attention back to the boy in the bed, “You must be Aden, wow, your chart didn’t say how handsome you were,” she said with wink and a smile. Clarke was one of those rare surgeons with a wonderful bedside manner.

He signed and spoke, “Hi doc, are you single?”

Clarke laughed, “Do you ask all your doctors that?” He was obviously quite taken with her, by the way his eyes lit up when he looked at her, well, stared at her really.

“Only the pretty ones,” he said.

“Well, aren’t you the little charmer,” Clarke said, looking over at Maya.

“Sorry, he’s entered that girl-crazy phase,” she said back to Clarke.

“Oh, okay, gotcha.” She gave a little squeeze to Aden’s hand, “Liking the ladies are we? Well, thank you for the compliment, young sir,” she said with a little bow to her head. “So, let’s see, what are we doing today? Brain surgery?” Clarke gave Aden a wide-eyed look, “Are we removing your brain today, Aden?”

Aden quickly shook his head back and forth, “No, no, not my brain.”

“No?” Clarke made a play of looking at her chart. “I could have sworn this thing said we were taking that out. Hmm.” She scratched at her head. “I could take it out if you wanted me to.”

Aden shook his head again, “No, I like my brain.”

“Okay, we’ll leave it in there then.” Clarke got her pen out and made a note in the chart, “Patient likes his brain, DO NOT TOUCH! I wrote that last part in caps, so I remember.” She showed it to him.

Aden was giggling now.

“Are we removing your heart? Maybe that was it. Is this a heart transplant?”

Aden started laughing harder now, enjoying Clarke and her silliness. “No, you’re taking out my appendix,” he said.

Clarke smacked her forehead, “Ooohh. Well, why didn’t you say so. I betcha I can do that right here, don’t you think? Who needs sterile operating rooms? You got that plastic knife from lunch around here, I can just use that, cut it right out, you won’t feel a thing.”

“It’s not sharp enough,” he said.

“Darn it. I think you may be right. Okay, buddy, let me take a quick feel here, see what Mr. Appendix is doing.” Clarke palpated Aden’s side, and watched him wince sharply. “Yep, he wants out. So, you got your glove on I see, were you playing baseball?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“We were at the fields at Green Lake this morning, and after the game he said his side hurt,” Jasper said.

“When he said it was his right side, we were worried it might be his appendix,” Maya said, “so we brought him in.”

“Good thing you did. Nobody wants a burst appendix, right Aden? This is my first appendectomy, so I’ll have to check my ‘how to remove an appendix’ manual.”

Aden gave her an “oh no” look.

She grabbed his arm and shook it a little, “Just kidding, I’ve taken out a lot of appendixes, so have no fear, I’ll take good care of you, okay?”

He nodded his head, “Okay,” he said.

“We’ll get you prepped and ready.”

Lexa had arrived at Aden’s room right after Clarke, and when she saw her she had backed out and stood in the hallway, holding her cardboard tray of coffees, eavesdropping on the conversation. She smiled to herself as she listened in. She’d never witnessed this side of Clarke. Playful, silly, and charming. She had to admit, begrudgingly, it kind of warmed her heart a little bit. This Clarke was more in line with the Clarke from her dreams. Maybe there was more to the good doc than just a verbal sparring partner? She was so distracted by her inner thoughts that she was practically run over by Clarke coming out of the room. They bumped a little and Lexa had to steady her coffee tray.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Clarke said, then recognized who she bumped. “Hey, what are you doing here?” Clarke’s hair was tied back at her neck in a messy bun with all sorts of wavy tendrils surrounding her face.

Lexa tried not to find the look appealing. “I, um, that’s a friend of mine in there,” she said, pointed her thumb into Aden’s room.

“You know them?”

“Yeah, little guy is a good buddy of mine.”

Realization dawned on Clarke’s face, as things now fell into place, Lexa signing that day at her house, being at the fields this morning. “Oh, now I get it. I wondered how you knew how to sign.” She wasn’t going to reveal the fact that she saw her this morning, though.

“Well, now you know. How are you, world renown surgeon Clarke Griffin?”

“I’m good. And thanks again for the whole car thing the other week.”

“You’re welcome, again.”

“I know, I keep thanking you, but it was nice of you to do that.”

Lexa looked around a bit, trying not to meet those blue eyes, still a little flustered by the revelation of sweet Clarke, “Yep, no problem. I’m just gonna head in there and give everyone their coffee.”

Clarke sensed Lexa’s slight awkwardness, but dismissed it, thinking that maybe she was just worried about her little friend. “I’ll be doing his surgery, I’ll take good care of him,” she said with a smile. “I know you think I’m a horrible, dog-hating, cat-loving person, but I am a good surgeon.”

Lexa was starting to get her equilibrium back. “I do have trust issues with surgeons, but I’ll take your word on that.”

“Well, good. I think? I’ll be back in a couple minutes, so if you’re still there, I’ll see you in a bit.” And with that Clarke rushed down the corridor, affording Lexa a nice long look at her ass again.

“Jesus, Lexa, cool it,” she mumbled to herself. She walked into the room, coffees in hand.

“Damn, Woods, was gonna send a search party out for you, is that coffee still even warm?” Jasper asked.

“Calm yourself Jordan, it’s fine.” She turned her attention to Aden, “How you doing buddy? I just ran into your surgeon out there. I know her, so you’re in good hands.”

Aden’s eyes lit up, “How do you know her?” he asked.

“She happens to be one of my customers.”

“She’s pretty,” Aden said, obviously smitten.

“Yeah, Woods, why aren’t you moving on that?” Jasper asked.

Maya slapped him on the shoulder, “That’s not a nice way to speak about women, husband of mine. She has a name. Lexa, why aren’t you moving on Clarke?” Maya asked with a mischievous grin, all the Jordan’s smitten with the good doc.

“Simmer down people, she happens to be engaged. And a cat person. And rich. And we don’t get along very well.”

Maya pursed her lips, “Well, it sounds perfect, except for the engaged part.”

“Perfect? How does that all sound perfect?”

“It sounds like a romance novel, two people meet, they fight, they fall in love,” Maya said, shrugging her shoulders and sipping her coffee.

“Oh my god woman, you really need to stop reading those novels,” Lexa said with a shake of her head.

“I love romance novels,” she said wistfully. “I’ll have to talk to Raven.”

Lexa was instantly suspicious. “Why do you need to talk to Raven?”

“Nothing, never mind.”

Clarke came back in the room at that moment, “Okay, we’ve got a reservation at the swankiest operating room in the hospital, I like to call it the Ritz Carlton surgical suite. Surgery in about an hour.”

“Well, as long as it’s not the Motel Six,” Lexa said.

“Very funny, you,” Clarke said back to her. She looked over Aden’s chart again, not wanting to miss anything.

“Lex, when we going for a ride on the bike?” Aden asked.

“Soon, buddy, weather is starting to turn. As soon as you heal up from this, we’ll go out.”

“Isn’t that a little dangerous?” Clarke asked, still looking down at the chart. “He’s kinda young for that, isn’t he?”

A devilish smile appeared on Lexa’s face, and she decided to wind up the world renown surgeon. “So, Aden, I gave the good doc here a lift on my bike the other week.”

Aden got excited at that, “You rode with Lex?” he asked Clarke.

Lexa spoke up before Clarke had a chance to answer, “Well, buddy, I wouldn’t say we went for a ride, we kinda crawled. She wouldn’t let me go above ten miles per hour. And she was scared to death. Clung to me so tight I could barely breathe.”

Clarke put her hands on her hips, “Oh please, I wasn’t clinging. Clinging? Exaggerate much?”

“Oh, there was clinging. And squealing. You squealed.”

The Jordan’s just watched the back and forth, clearly enjoying it.

“I didn’t squeal. What ride are you talking about it? Maybe that was your other girlfriend.” As soon as that was out of her mouth, Clarke paused and bit her lip. Evidently things had progressed in her dreams. They went from hot sex to girlfriends in a hot minute. She was hoping nobody caught that.

But Lexa did, of course, and didn’t miss a beat. “Oh yeah, must have been my other girlfriend. And when did we become girlfriends? I must have missed that part.” Lexa’s smirk was back.

Clarke changed the subject quickly, “Well, never mind, motorcycles are dangerous, right Aden?”

“They’re cool!”

“I take it you like being on it?” Clarke asked him.

“Yeah, mom and dad let me go for a ride around the neighborhood.”

Clarke looked at Jasper and Maya. They both just shrugged their shoulders. “It’s just around the block.”

Clarke could see she was outnumbered. “Well, maybe next time we can go fifteen miles per hour,” she said as she smiled at Aden and Lexa.

“Wow, I didn’t expect a next time, I’ll look forward to it…girlfriend, but you might have to lose the cat first, since I don’t date cat people.” Lexa looked at the Jordan’s, “Clarke’s a cat person.”

“You always say that like it’s such a bad thing. Cats rule.”

“Cats are aloof, and vengeful, they seem vengeful to me. Dogs rule. They’re loyal, affectionate…”

“My cat’s loyal, and he’s affectionate. Just because he doesn’t like you shouldn’t be held against him. It actually makes him very smart,” she said with a smile, making some final notes in the chart. “My Jinx swats at her every time she comes into the house to get the dog,” Clarke explained to Maya, Aden, and Jasper.

“Oh.” “Got it.” They all nodded and gave knowing looks to each other.

“Swats? More like assaults,” Lexa mumbled.

It was Clarke’s turn to smirk at Lexa, “Oh please, are you afraid of a little kitty?”

“Little? He’s like a mountain lion, or a lynx.”

Maya snuck a look at Jasper, her matchmaking wheels a-whirling. She subtly got out her phone to shoot off a text.

“My god, the dog whisperer is afraid of a little kitty cat,” Clarke said with amusement. “Okay, I gotta go get ready, and you have to get ready,” she said to Aden.

“Anybody have any questions?” They all shook their heads. “Let’s get that thing outta there. I’ll see you in a bit. Aden, you’re gonna do great,” and she high fived him.

Sue came into the room. “This is Sue, she’s awesome, she’s gonna start the prep work,” Clarke said. Before she turned to leave, she took one last look at the faces in the room, her eyes lingering on one in particular. She smiled and headed out.

Aden watched her walk out of the room. He turned to Lexa, “I’m in love, why aren’t you?”

Lexa duffed him in the head. “Calm down sport. She’s taken.” She looked over at Jasper and Maya, who both had a knowing look on their faces. “What?” Lexa asked.

“Nothing,” they both said at the same time.

Lexa did not like the calculating look on both their faces. “Obviously, we don’t like each other,” Lexa explained.

“I don’t know if I’d say obviously,” Jasper mused.

“She’s really attractive,” Maya added.

“She’s outta my league,” Lexa said. “I mean, if I were even interested, which I’m not.”

“Why would you say that?” Maya asked.

“Yeah, nobody’s out of your league, Woods,” Jasper said, agreeing with his wife.

Lexa looked at all the Jordan’s. “Hello? She’s engaged, oh, and she’s straight. Well, she did admit to being with a woman before.”

Aden got excited. “See? Go for it!”

“You guys are ridiculous. I’m sorta seeing someone anyway.”

“Sorta? You mean Costia?” Maya asked.

“Yeah.”

“You said that wasn’t serious.”

“Well, no.” She looked around at their faces. “Honestly guys, there’s nothing between the doctor and me, we don’t get along.”

“Ha. Well, I saw the way she looked at you,” Maya said.

Lexa rolled her eyes. “What? Oh c’mon, she didn’t look at me. She doesn’t like me. Maybe it was her look of hate.”

“Oh, that wasn’t a look of hate.”

“Enough! She’s engaged, let’s just drop it.”

Sue cleared her throat to remind them of her presence. “I just need some paperwork signed, if you don’t mind,” she said to Jasper and Maya.

While his parents were occupied, Aden signed to Lexa, without speaking, “Don’t you think she’s beautiful?”

Lexa signed back, “Yes, she’s beautiful. Now enough, you gotta get ready for surgery. I gotta make a call, but I’ll be here with your mom and dad when you get out, okay?” He nodded and she fist bumped him, “Good luck little dude.”

She walked out of the room and saw Clarke at the nurse’s station. “Hey, take good care of him, will you doc?”

Clarke turned and looked at her, and saw genuine concern in Lexa’s eyes. “No worries, I got this, Linda,” she said with a wink.

Lexa laughed, “Alright, I’ll be in the waiting room when it’s done.” Lexa started to walk away and then turned around. “Clarke?”

“Yeah.”

“You were really nice in there with him.”

“Ah, now _you’re_ surprised _I_ can be nice.”

“Just sayin’. Thanks, and I think he’s smitten with you.”

“I know he’s smitten. A girl can tell these things.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll take good care of him, I promise.”

“OK, I’ll see you after surgery.”

Meanwhile, back in the hospital room, Maya was typing furiously on her phone.  
Maya: I think I found someone for Lex  
Raven: I have someone too.  
Maya: she’s perfect, but there’s one little catch  
Raven: lay it on me sister  
Maya: she’s engaged.  
Raven: who you got???  
Maya: here name is clarke  
Raven: fuck! mine too!  
Maya: really? what are the odds, it’s such an odd name.  
Raven: earth to maya, earth to maya, i think we’ve got the same fish on the hook.  
Maya: oh! really? doctor clarke?  
Raven: ya, dude, she’s my bestie!  
Maya: well, she’s perfect. except for the engaged thing  
Raven: I’m working on that. let operation popcorn commence.  
Maya: popcorn?  
Raven: just go with it.

 

After throwing her gloves and mask into the proper waste bins, Clarke came out of the operating room and got a glass of water. Another successful surgery. Aden did great and was moved to recovery. She saw Sue at the nursing station, “Another success, Sue,” Clarke said as she leaned her elbows on the counter.

“That the appendectomy?”

“Yep.”

“Your fan club is in the waiting room.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think they’re all in love with you. I was like a fly on the wall when you left the room earlier. Surprised your ears didn’t burn and fall off. You were quite the topic of conversation.”

“Oooh. Do tell.”

Sue looked around and leaned closer to Clarke. “Well, seems they all wanted to set you up with the woman that was in there with them.”

“You mean Lexa? Ha! She thinks I’m an idiot, and she hates me, so I doubt she took that well.”

“I didn’t get that impression.”

“Why, what did she say?”

“She said something about you being out of her league, like she wasn't good enough for you or something.”

“Her? Outta _my_ league? Oh, that’s rich. She thinks I’m a tightwad. And a snob. And a moron when it comes to dogs. And she hates cats. So, I’m not sure why she would say something like that. You probably heard that wrong.”

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

“I’ll go down and see them now.”

She made her way to the waiting room to give the good news of the successful surgery. The first person she saw was Lexa, and her heart sped up a little bit. Sue’s words bounced around in her head. Lexa thought she was out of her league? No. Sue’s hearing was clearly going. A certain dream sequence shot through her brain, a bathtub with bubbles, and a sudden rush of heat rolled through her, taking her breath away. Good lord this woman did things to her. Lexa looked up when Clarke came in, and they shared a look, green met blue, and a small flash of something passed between them, another spark of sorts, just like after the motorcycle ride. She saw Lexa look away, a little disconcerted. Maya and Jasper jumped up when they saw Clarke.

“Hey guys, he did great. No complications. They just took him to recovery, so give it about an hour and he’ll probably start waking up, then you can go in and see him.”

“Thank god,” Maya said. She came over and gave Clarke a big hug. “Thank you for taking care of him, Dr. Griffin.”

“Clarke, please. Doctor Griffin is my mom.”

Lexa had a feeling of déjà vu, again, as something tickled in the back of her brain, but she couldn’t get a handle on it. It was like trying to look through a fog. Like seeing an outline, but nothing was clearly defined. This had happened a couple times now, which was strange. She’d never had déjà before.

“I meant Clarke,” Maya said shyly.

Jasper was next, he hugged Clarke also, “Yeah, thank you Clarke.”

Lexa got up, not knowing if she should give Clarke a hug or not. She decided against it. Safer to keep her as a verbal adversary. Best to keep her distance.

“You need to come over for dinner as a thank you. Maya is a wonderful cook,” Jasper said.

“Oh my god, yes, please say you’ll come to dinner. Aden would be so thrilled,” Maya gushed.

“Well, drop me a line, I’d love to,” Clarke said. She glanced over at Lexa and gave her a little smile. She turned her attention back to the Jordan’s. “Well, I have to start my rounds. He’ll stay overnight tonight, but probably get discharged tomorrow. I’ll check in on him throughout the rest of the evening, so I’ll probably be seeing you later.” Clarke started to walk away and then turned around, “Oh, and someone will come get you when he’s awake. Okay?”

“Got it,” Jasper replied.

As they watched her walk away, Maya thumped Lexa on the shoulder, “Why didn’t you hug her? We were all hugging her. We set you up.”

“What? I’m not hugging her.”

“Damn Woods, pretty dense of you not to jump on the hug bandwagon.”

“I don’t need to hug her. I’ve already slow danced with her.”

“ _What?_   Why are you just telling us now? When did that happen?” Maya asked incredulously.

“It was a few weeks ago. It was harmless. She was at the bar, and someone was hitting on her, and I sorta rescued her.”

“You rescued her? Like a knight in shining armor?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Oh lord Jesus, no, not like that, miss hopeless romantic.”

Jasper put his arm around his wife, “Don’t ever change, honey.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“How about we talk about something else.” Lexa thought it best to get Clarke off everyone’s mind, including her own. She hoped she could forget charming Clarke, because charming Clarke was dangerous. Give her rude Clarke any day. Please.

 

Clarke made her way to her office to dictate her notes from the surgery. She had a hard time concentrating, her mind circling back to the look that passed between her and Lexa in the waiting room. She probably imagined it. Yep, definitely imagined it. Maybe she was having a hard time separating dream Lexa with real Lexa, that was probably it. Dream Lexa would have given her that look, real Lexa would have smirked. It must have been the smirk, not that look of want she thought she saw. How many steps were in this de-infatuation program? Christ, she couldn’t get off step one, which was, what? Stop thinking about her? And what happened to being a jerk around her? That flew out the window as soon as you looked into those damn green eyes of hers. Ugh. And oh my fucking god, _girlfriend_? You said _girlfriend?_   Idiot. And she was friends with a kid, how sweet was that? Oh, Christ. Now she’s sweet to boot. Her twelve step program just doubled.

She got pissed off, and started berating herself. “You are being ridiculous, you don’t like her, she doesn’t like you, she practically sicced her dogs on you, she almost killed you on her motorcycle, she...she smirks at you, all the time...she..hates cats, she...”

“Clarke, who you talking to?” Monty asked as he poked his head in the door.

Clarke looked up startled, evidently her inside voice was louder than she thought. “What? I’m just, ah, dictating some notes.”

“Oh, I thought you were talking to someone.”

“Nope, what’s up?”

“You going to Raven’s party next week?”

“Yes, Finn and I will be there.”

“Okay, we’ll be there too. Any ideas for a present?”

“Popcorn?” Clarke suggested.

“Popcorn?” Monty asked.

“Never mind. Just get her some beer, she’ll love that.”

“Good idea, thanks. Catch you later.” And with that Monty hustled out the door, leaving Clarke to her multi-step de-infatuation program. Step one, stop thinking about her...

 

* * *

 

“Oliver, stay.” Lexa held her hand up and backed away from the dog. She made him wait in place for a good minute. “Oliver, come.” The dog happily bounded up to Lexa and she gave him a small treat. He was progressing nicely and Lexa was proud of him.

“Does she know that you train her dog?” Anya asked as she sauntered over to where Lexa was working with Oliver.

“No.”

“Why do you do it?”

“Why not? He’s a good dog, just needs some training. I enjoy it, you know that.” She reached down and scratched him behind his ears. “They ready to load him up?”

“Yeah, here, I’ll take him over.” Anya took the leash and led Oliver over to the van.

Lexa went back inside to her office to work on the payroll. A half an hour later Anya came in, followed by Yogi and Milo. She was carrying a small box. Lexa looked up from her laptop, and pulled her new glasses off. Fewer headaches now, evidently she needed glasses when she looked at a computer screen.

“We got a problem.”

Lexa looked at her dogs, expecting the worst, “Shit, what did they do?”

“Boys, sit,” Anya said to the dogs. Both sat immediately, Aunt Anya usually meant business. “Down.” They dropped like rocks.

“Sometimes I think they listen better to you than me.”

“They know who’s boss. You’re a pushover.”

“So, what’s this problem.”

Anya sat across the desk from Lexa with the box in her lap.

“So, I found this out behind the barn.” Anya reached in and pulled out two tiny, orange and white kittens. She placed them on the desk in front of her.

“What’s that?” Lexa asked suspiciously.

“Kittens, moron.”

“I know they’re kittens. What are they doing here?”

“Don’t know.” Anya gently cupped her hands around the kittens and slid them across the desk towards Lexa, like she was all in at a poker game. “Here, take them.”

“What? Oh no. No, thank you.” Lexa slid the “kitten chips” back across to Anya.

“Take them Lexa, just ‘til we can find them a home.” And back across the desk they went.

Lexa immediately pushed them back from whence they came. “You take them.”

“Nope. We can’t have cats. We foster too many dogs, you know that. I called Luna, she’ll be here any minute…”

“Luna’s coming now?”

“Yeah, she’s bringing some stuff for you.”

Lexa knew Luna since high school. When Lexa was a freshman on the basketball team, Luna was a senior for a cross town rival. Luna would flirt with Lexa on the court to throw her off her game, and it worked, because Lexa had a huge crush on her. She was like a goddess, tall, strong, beautiful, and an excellent basketball player. Lexa was still in awe of her today, and was always quick to tell Anya how lucky she was to have her. “I don’t want them, take them to the shelter.”

“Just for a few days, for Christ’s sake.” The kittens made their way back to Lexa.

“No, no, no, no, no.” The kittie trail across the desk was heating up.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes.”

“I can’t.” Lexa searched for an excuse. She saw her dogs and pointed at them. “They’ll eat them.”

“They’re the ones that found them.”

“What?”

“I walked back there, cause I saw them sniffing around, and when I got there, these two orange fur balls were climbing all over _your_ dogs.”

“I don’t believe you.”

Anya took the little fluff balls and placed them on the ground near the dogs. Lexa peeked over her desk, ready to watch the carnage. Milo gave a nice, sloppy, doggie kiss to each of them. One felt a little adventurous and he climbed on Yogi’s back. The dog just looked at it and put his head back on the ground. Happy to have the company.

Lexa looked down aghast at her pups. “Really? Really boys? First Clarke, now this? Did she put some sort of cat spell on you?”

Luna popped in carrying all sorts of kittie supplies. “Hey sexy.” Luna still liked to flirt with Lexa. “Who’s Clarke? I hear you’re a cat person now,” she said as she went behind the desk to plant one on Lexa’s lips.

“No, no, I’m not.”

“Shut up, you’re taking them just until we figure things out. Here’s a litter box, litter, kitten chow, food bowl, water bowl, scratching post...”

“Holy shit, what did you do, raid the Petsmart?”

“Something like that. Who’s Clarke?” Luna had picked up the kittens now and was smooching them.

“She’s one of our clients, and Lexa has sex dreams about her,” Anya said with a wicked grin.

“Oh, sex dreams, do tell, honey.”

“There’s nothing to tell.” Lexa gave Anya the stink eye. “Jesus, that was personal. I told you that in confidence.”

“Clarke’s engaged,” Anya offered up, piling on now.

“Oh my god, stop.”

“And she has a nice ass.”

Lexa was mortified by Anya’s revelations.

“Why am I the last to know all this?” Luna said as she had both kittens under her chin now.

“There’s nothing to know. Now please, take your cats and go find something to do, I have to finish up the payroll.” Lexa put her glasses back on and started working on the computer.

Anya got up and clapped Lexa on the shoulder, “Sorry, buddy, kittens are staying, we’re heading out to dinner, so I’ll see you tomorrow. Oh, they’re both boys.” They started to leave, “Oh, and take them to the vet, I think they’re about six weeks old.”

“No, wait, you can’t leave me with them,” Lexa pleaded.

Luna poked her head back in the doorway, “My god, look how tiny they are, you make it sound like they’re gonna attack you. Now, just pour the litter in the pan, then put them in the pan so they know to use it, simple. Jesus Christ, didn’t you ever have a cat? And, fuck you look good in glasses.”

“No, I’m a dog person!” Lexa yelled. They were already gone. “But I don't like cats,” she said to no one in particular. She stared at the orange and white things on her desk. They stared back. Lexa put her chin on her desk to take a better look. She was never around kittens. This was going to be a new experience. She reached out a finger towards the closest one and he swatted it. Lexa smiled then, he certainly didn't have the torque of Clarke’s Jinxie. She was mesmerized by how little they were. Teeny, tiny, furry little creatures.

The non-swatter came over to her and sniffed her nose, lifted a hesitant paw up and softly touched Lexa’s cheek. Gave a soft meow. Now the swatter got up the courage to come closer and pretty soon they were in her lap, “What’s happening?” And climbing up her shirt “Oh,” and sitting on her shoulders, one on either side. She didn’t move, not wanting to disturb them. She sighed. “Okay, but just for a few days,” she said to the purring, fluffy creatures. One started to lick her ear. “Shit, what’s with your tongue, kitten, it’s like sand paper.” She turned to look at him and he softly whacked her in the nose. He was definitely the one with the attitude.

Later that evening, as she was getting ready for bed, the dogs were in the bedroom, and the kittens were exploring the rest of the house somewhere. She had set the litter box up in the guest bathroom for now. She did what Luna said, and put both kittens in so they knew where it was. She watched them both scratch around and go to the bathroom. Satisfied, she had gone back to her bedroom. Now she crawled into bed and turned off the lamp. She fluffed her pillow, turned on her side, ready to shut her eyes when she felt them come up on the bed. She groaned. What now? One came up and sat on her head, and started kneading her hair, like he was making a nest. The other placed himself under her chin, lay down and purred contentedly. Jesus that was loud. How could something so little make such a racket, Lexa thought to herself. And now she was afraid to move, for fear of crushing them. She lay very still and tried to relax. She eventually found the purring to be soothing, like white noise, and she drifted off.

 _Lexa hustled after her dogs, worried they might catch some unsuspecting squirrel or something. She shouldn't have taken their leashes off, but the park was almost empty and they loved to be off leash. They were all having a fine time until they caught a scent and took off. Lexa started jogging now, as she heard human squeals. God, she hoped they didn't jump up on someone. They were very well behaved, but you never know. She finally caught sight of them and they had someone pinned to the ground. She ran faster now, afraid something bad happened. When she finally made it to the chaotic scene she gave a sigh of relief._  
_“Clarke! What are you doing here?”_  
_Clarke managed to push the dogs off and got up. “I thought you would be here.” She went up to Lexa and jumped up on her, crushing her lips to hers._  
_Lexa put her gently on the ground. She reluctantly broke off the kiss. “I thought your shift wasn't over ‘til six?”_  
_“I got out early, and I knew you'd be here. I wanted to surprise you.”_  
_Lexa smiled down at her, “It's a great surprise.”_  
_Clarke reached down and took her hand. “C’mon, I'm taking you for some chocolate ice cream."_  
_“I love chocolate ice cream.”_  
_“I know, silly.”_

Lexa gradually woke up from her dream. Her chest was tight from emotion. Her heart felt full, full of love? How was that even possible? Slowly, the feelings she woke up with began to recede, and they faded to the background. She felt normal again, but she still had a heaviness in her chest. What the hell? She looked down and two sets of golden eyes stared back. At first she thought raccoon babies got in, but then she remembered the kittens. She had kittens. Temporarily at least. One yawned and stretched out his paws, lightly touching her lips. This dream shook her up a bit. It was easier to explain away sex dreams. She found Clarke attractive, and she had a fantastic body. That’s why they had sex after midnight. But this, this was, affection, feelings, happiness. All dangerous emotions. She closed her eyes and prayed this was a one time occurrence. Let’s get back to sex, please, she thought to herself. She felt the kittens move around and now both were sitting in her hair, which was spread out on the pillow. She wouldn't be tossing and turning anymore tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here is my squirrel scream story that I promised to tell a few chapters ago. The wife and I are going for a bike ride, as in, bicycle ride. We go to a park that is very close to the house, however, you have to cross a busy road to get there. This road is only two lanes, but very congested during rush hour. There’s no light where we cross, and sometimes it can take quite a few minutes for us to make our way across. So we are waiting, and waiting, and waiting to go. Traffic in the lane across from us is starting to slow, because of some backup. So, the woman in that opposite lane, as in, the other side from us, is going so slow, she stops and waves us across, I’m looking at her, and she's smiling at me and waving me onward. I go, I start crossing, and the wife yells at me, I look to my left and there is a car bearing down on me from the other side, like at 45 mph, coming right at me. I open my mouth and yell, "oh shit," or something crude I’m sure, the woman in the oncoming car has her mouth open, screaming, the woman who waved me across has her mouth open, the wife is yelling, we all yelled and screamed, as I almost got creamed by a car. Not a funny story, right? Watch this:  
> [squirrel scream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkvI4NoUX6E)  
> ROFL. Yes, the squirrel scream, it’s now just the squirrel scream story. Of course this was the first thing I thought of when the wife finally made it across. Took her a couple minutes to laugh with me. Lesson learned? Don’t trust the mother fucker waving you on.  
> Next chapter is Raven's party. I like parties. And, I think Clexa's first kiss is in it? Hm, yes, I think it is.  
> Who's got a squirrel scream story? Go...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of stuff happens in this chapter. Guess you’ll have to read it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the wife thought this was the best chapter I’ve ever written, to date. Not funniest, but just best. Ever. Something about being very descriptive, shows how far I've come, blah blah blah. She lost me at “not the funniest.” My reaction to this revelation? Oh shit, it must suck. Let me explain, she has always been opposite George from Seinfeld. Meaning, everything she likes or laughs at, you all don’t. Everything you guys love, she’s ‘meh.’ (to steal from Elizabeth, her favorite expression when I berate her about something.) The Limo scene in Hollywood? "Meh, it was ok." Wanted to kill her.  
> So, 9600 words for your enjoyment, my dears.  
> Quick shout out to my tumblr bud, fellow baby goat lover Min, pseud MeNemNesa, who henceforth and here-to-for shall be known as my medical editor. So let it be written, so let it be done. Going forward, she will let me know if my penchant for making shit up is totally not medically plausible. And that sentence doesn’t even make sense, but somehow it makes me giggle.  
> Pics!  
> First up, Lexa’s new kittens, aka, my kittens. They’re older now, but man were they cuties. Ma boys. And I did call them “kittens” for a long time, cause it was hard to tell them apart.  
> Next is Silverwolf509’s chihuahua, Honey, who is sweet and lovable and not at all like the chihuahua at my work, who bites, barks and pees everywhere. Aren’t you envious of her little fluffy vest?  
> The rest are dogs that Elizabeth knows. Handsome and beautiful, the lot of them.

 

* * *

 

Lexa woke up bright and early Saturday. She shuffled out of bed to start her morning routine. She found that she now had to look down when she walked, for fear of tripping over kittens. She made her way to the kitchen with four animals in hot pursuit. She put the dogs outside and got her cup of coffee. She sat at the table to relax, opening her laptop to read the morning news. As soon as she settled in, she was besieged by fluffiness.

“Kittens, no, don’t walk on the keyboard.” She gently placed them back on the floor, her eyes never leaving her screen. Up they came again, and down they went again. Lexa was now used to these kitten hijinks, having spent the week with them. Half her curtains were in tatters, since they were used for climbing practice. There were little balled up pieces of paper throughout the house, since that was a toy of choice.

She got up to go to the fridge, and she must have startled one, as he hunched up and danced sideways at her, his tail poofed up like a pipe cleaner, making Lexa laugh. She liked to call this particular pose, Halloween kitty. She sat back down and one made it to her lap and settled in, and she absently stroked his head and rubbed his belly, earning a little love nip. “Ouch kitten, don’t bite,” she said softly. How could she raise her voice to these little love bugs that had invaded her home?

She took them to the vet a couple days ago, as instructed, and was told they shouldn’t be adopted out for another couple of weeks. She came home with all sorts of supplements for them. Luna hadn’t found a home for them yet, and now Lexa was having doubts about wanting them gone. They made her laugh all the time, and the dogs loved them, following them around and licking them every chance they got. At first, Lexa was worried the licking was a precursor to snacking, but the tongue was all that ever made contact to the kitties. God, the line between dog lover and cat lover was starting to blur. These two little fellows were worming their way into her heart. She held off naming them, because naming meant permanence, and she wasn’t quite ready for that.

Her phone buzzed with a text from Raven.

_You got any long tables we can borrow for the party tonight?_

Lexa typed back, _Yep, I have three of them, want me to bring them tonight?_

_Would rather get them earlier so we can set up. We’ll pop by in a couple hours._

_OK, they fold up so they should fit in your car._

_Thanks. See you soon._

Lexa was looking forward to the party tonight. Costia was coming with her, to hopefully keep her attention away from a certain blonde doctor. She had another “feels” dream this week and it was unsettling, so she needed to be with someone who would distract her.

 

“Clarkie, need a favor.”

“What’s up?” Clarke asked.

“I need you to go to the farm and pick up a couple of tables.”

“What farm?”

“Lexa’s farm, what other farm do you know?”

“Oh no, no. I’ll help you with anything else, but I’m not driving out there.”

“Oh, for god’s sake, relax, Lexa’s not even gonna be home. I know you’re going for a run this morning at the park, so you’re halfway there. She’s got them in her office. You just need to walk back there and get them.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“You’re positive?”

“Yes, I’m positive.”

Raven heard Clarke sigh, “Okay, I’ll head over after my run.”

Raven hung up with a satisfied smile on her face. Octavia came up behind her and put her arms around her neck, kissing her on the cheek. “Why did you just tell Clarke that Lexa wouldn’t be there?”

“Cause she wouldn’t have gone otherwise?”

Octavia came around to the front of Raven and sat in her lap, put her arms around her neck. “Should you really be pushing this?”

“Hon, she’s miserable. You know it, and I know it.”

“I know. But sometimes people have to figure out stuff on their own.”

“Babe. This is Clarke. When does she ever, A. figure stuff out, and B. think of her own happiness? Never, that’s when.”

“But how do you know she should be with Lexa? Does Lexa even like her? Cause it doesn’t seem that way to me.”

“I think she does. And if she doesn’t yet, she will. When she finally gets to see the real Clarke. Not the smacked ass that Clarke has been when she’s around her.”  

“So, what are you trying to do? Throw them together every chance you get?”

“Exactly.” Raven gave her girlfriend a kiss. “I feel it in my bones, babe, Clexa is endgame.”

Octavia smiled at her and kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re funny, my little matchmaker...with your Clexa.”

 

A couple of hours later, Lexa walked into her office, kittens in her pocket, dogs at her heels. She got the tables ready for Raven and leaned them against the wall.  As she sat back down at her desk, the kittens were climbing up her leg to her lap.  Good thing she had pants on. She opened her drawer to take out a file, and the one kitten, the swatter, immediately jumped into it.

“Kitten, really? You do like to get into everything, don’t you?” She smiled at him, put her glasses on and brought up her accounting program. The website was starting to take off, orders were streaming in everyday now. The other kitty came and sat in front of the keyboard, meowing at her, raising a paw, looking for a little lovin’. She picked him up and nuzzled his head.

 

Clarke pulled into the parking lot of the farm and got out of her car. She walked into the store and headed back to Lexa’s office. She knocked on the open door and peeked inside, “Knock knock,” she said quietly, not expecting anybody, but she didn’t like barging into people’s offices unannounced. She was shocked at the sight in front of her, and it took her a moment to truly process what she was seeing. After a few seconds, she leaned against the door jam, “Eh hem.”

Lexa was sitting at her desk, a kitten in her hands, cooing over him. When she heard someone, she looked up and her mouth fell slightly open when she saw it was Clarke. Of course, her dogs bum rushed her, panting and looking up at her with adoration, whining hello.

“What is that?” Clarke asked with an accusatory tone, while idly patting her fan club on their heads, all fear of pit bulls gone right out the window when faced with this stunning kitten revelation.

Lexa kept her eyes on Clarke, and slowly put the kitten into the drawer with his brother, casually closing it.

“What?” Lexa asked innocently.

Clarke nearly lost her train of thought, because Lexa in glasses was so super hot, she almost fell down. Fuck. De-infatuation! De-infatuation! She steadied herself. “That, what was that you put in your drawer?”

“Nothing?”

“That was a kitten!”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?  I saw it. You’ve got a kitten. The cat hater has a kitten, and you were kissing it! The cat hater was loving up a kitten. Oh, this is priceless!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. And I’m not a cat _hater_ , that’s a bit strong.”

“Pa-lease,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes. “You might wanna take him out of there before he suffocates.”

Lexa panicked and opened her drawer, putting the kitten on the desk.

Clarke looked triumphant.

Lexa sheepishly reached down and brought the other one out, sitting him next to his twin.

Now it was Clarke’s mouth that dropped open. “Two kittens? My god.” She took out her phone and snapped a picture. “Unbelievable. This is getting posted later.”

“Posted?”

“Yep.”

“We’re not friends on Facebook, you can’t post it.”

“Oh, I’m posting it, I don’t care, I’m tagging you and I’m posting it.”

“You can’t do that if we’re not friends, Clarke.”

Clarke was not to be deterred. “I’m sending you a friend request.”

“Ha! I’m not gonna accept it.”

“Why not?”

“For obvious reasons.”

“Such as?”

“One, we’re not friends.”

“So? I barely know any of my Facebook friends. Accept it.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Yes.”

“No.”  

Clarke narrowed her baby blues, “You are no fun.”

“Oh, since when do we have fun?”

“What about this is _not_ fun?”

“Huh?”

“What?”

They both stared at each other for a couple seconds. And Lexa’s eyes might have strayed downward for a very brief moment, totally distracted by Clark in her workout tank top.

“What are their names?” Clarke asked as she leaned over, putting both her hands on the front of Lexa’s desk and intently stared at her.

Lexa looked a bit embarrassed. She knew she was going to pay the price for these next words. “Ah...” Lexa cleared her throat. “Kittens?”

Clarke processed this information, raised an eyebrow. “That’s their name? Kittens?”

“Yes?”

“You didn’t name them? Oh my god, this is hysterical. All the berating I took for not knowing my dog’s name, here you have kittens and you can’t even give them a name. How long have you had them?”

“Only a week, and they’re not staying.”

Clarke crossed her arms. “You sure about that? You were pretty drooly over that one.”

“He’s snuggly,” Lexa said as she pushed her glasses further up her nose. “Anyway, I’m just keeping them until we can find them a home.”

“Uh huh,” Clarke was nodding her head, “where did you find them?”

“Out behind the barn. The dogs found them.”

“I thought your dogs hated cats?” Clarke asked, sneaking a peek down at Yogi and Milo, who were both sitting at her feet.

“Yeah, about that, evidently they changed their minds. I think you put the maloiks on them, some sort of cat curse.”

“Oh, right, that’s what I did. I cat cursed your dogs. Who love me by the way.”

“They didn’t have a choice. You said it yourself, you cat cursed them.”

Clarke reached out and picked up the swatter, because who could resist a kitten? She rubbed its head under her chin, a small smile reaching her lips, a dreamy look in her eyes. All combativeness forgotten. She loved kittens. She kissed his little head, and reached out for the other one, now both getting soft, little kisses.

Lexa knew this image would be burned into her brain. Clarke looking so happy and loving. Only this time, it was live, not Memorex, not a dream, but happening right here, right now. She needed to break the spell. “Are you here for the tables?”

Clarke glanced up from the delicious little orange and white yummies under her chin. “Yeah, Raven asked me to pick them up. She said you wouldn’t be here.”

“Oh, is that the only reason you came? Cause you thought I wouldn’t be here?”

“Something like that.”

Spell broken. “I’ll help you get them into your car.” Lexa stood up and reached for the kittens, but Clarke seemed reluctant to hand them over. “You wanna take them home?”

She sighed, “No, Jinx will probably eat them.”

“You got that right, sister.” Lexa murmured.

They walked out to Clarke’s car, and Lexa helped her load the tables into the back of her SUV. She then had to unload her dogs, who evidently thought they were leaving with the love of their lives.

“Hey, boys, out, c’mon, Jesus.”

“You really need to control your dogs better,” Clarke said with a smirk. Her smirk, as she got into her car and put the window down. “Cat lover,” she said tauntingly. She cackled as she started her car and pulled out.

“Dog lover,” Lexa shouted back to her. She got a wave out the window. Damn. Dr. Clarke Griffin was hot in a tank top. Shit.

 

* * *

 

Raven and Octavia were putting the finishing touches on the house, getting ready to host about fifty people. The caterer had the food set up, the bar was stocked, the keg was tapped and they were just about finished.

O came in from the backyard to find Raven filling up bowls of popcorn and situating them all around the rooms.

“What are you doing?”

“This is for any Clexa moments. If something starts up, and really, it’s not if, it’s when, no matter where they are, I have my popcorn.”

“You are prodigious!”

“I have no idea what that means, but I’m sure it’s a compliment,” and Raven high fived her. “Fucking prodigious baby!”

 

A couple hours later and the party was in full swing, the beer and alcohol were flowing freely, the music was pumping. Clarke and Finn were just arriving. “Bout time you two, I’m practically thirty-five.”   

“Oh please, your birthday was Tuesday, you’re already on your way to thirty-five.” Clarke gave Raven a kiss and handed her a birthday card. “Sorry we’re late, I got hung up at work.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you. What do you guys want to drink?”

“Clarke probably wants a beer.” Finn looked to Clarke for affirmation, and she nodded, “And I’ll have a Stoli on the rocks, if you have it.”

“I think we do, give me your coats, I’ll put them upstairs.”

“Wow, there’s a lot of people here,” Finn said after Raven left with their jackets. They found themselves wedged into a sea of bodies in the living room.

“I know, I don’t even recognize most of them. Guess they’re work friends.”

“Oh hey, there’s Lexa over there,” Finn said.

Clarke looked across the room at her dream lover. She visibly swallowed, as her most recent dream came flooding back to her. They were driving somewhere in a car, Clarke at the wheel, Lexa in her ear, or she should say, Lexa’s tongue in her ear, hand down Clarke’s pants, one finger inside. It was totally awkward and totally crazy hot, and a little bit unsafe, since Clarke kept closing her eyes in ecstasy, not watching for oncoming traffic. She shook her head a little to clear those thoughts from her mind. Clarke took a quick inventory of what Lexa was wearing. She had on tight-fitting jeans, and a sheer white button-down long sleeved top, with a black camisole underneath. Step one of De-infatuation just flew out the window, how the hell was she supposed to not think about her in that get-up? Lexa was talking close with an attractive, short-haired blonde woman, and Clarke surmised that is must be the woman she was dating, or sleeping with.  

There was a small tap on her shoulder and she turned around to see Maya and Jasper.

“Oh my god,” Clarke said, as she reached out and gave them both a hug. “What are you guys doing here? Do you know Raven?”

Maya smiled at her, “I met them a few weeks ago at Lexa’s farm. We’ve been texting ever since. I love her.”

“She’s great, how’s Aden?”

“He’s really good, almost recovered. He’s bouncing off the walls. I’m trying to keep him inactive so he heals, but that’s next to impossible. You’re coming to dinner soon, right? We have to set a date.”

“Yes, just text me or call me, I can’t wait.”

Finn cleared his throat. Clarke had forgotten all about him. “Oh, I’m sorry honey, Maya and Jasper, this is Finn, my fiancé.”

“Nice to meet you Finn. We love Dr. Clarke, you’re a lucky guy,” Jasper said.

“Their son was in last week for an emergency appendectomy,” Clarke explained.

“Oh, yeah, the appendectomy. Your son is twelve, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, he was in good hands, my Clarke is a wonderful surgeon.” He looked at her with affection. “And you’re right, I am a lucky guy. She’s my best friend.”

Clarke reached out and gave his hand a little squeeze. Yes, Harry and Sally. Best of friends.

“We were just headed over to the food table, do you guys want anything?” Jasper asked.

“Not right this minute, but thank you.”

“I brought some of my barbecue ribs, make sure you try some,” Jasper said with a twinkle in his eye. And with that the Jordan’s moved off.

“They were really nice,” Finn said.

“They’re great, Maya is so sweet.”

“I’m gonna go say hi to Bellamy, be right back,” Finn said.

Clarke stayed rooted in place, hoping Raven would be back shortly with her beer. She needed a diversion from the brunette in sheer white. Finally Raven arrived, beer in hand, “Here you go, dude. Not a bad turnout, huh?”

“Yeah, didn’t know you had so many friends.”

“A lot of work people are here. Lexa’s here, did you say hi?”

“No, I didn’t, and I don’t need to. I saw her already today, no thanks to you.”

“Well, you can’t just avoid her all the time. That’s not healthy.”

“It’s good for my health.”

“She brought Costia.”

“Is that who she’s dating?” Clarke felt a tiny stab of jealousy. It was like a hot, little, pin prick in her temporal lobe. Why in god’s name should she be jealous? Fabulous, another emotion she’d have to control.

“I don’t think they’re officially dating. You wanna meet her?” Raven asked and waved at Lexa.

“No that’s all right,” but it was too late, as Lexa saw Raven wave and started to come over.

“Oh, Jesus,” Clarke mumbled to herself.

Raven pulled Lexa closer when she was within reach, “Clarke wanted to say hi, and to meet Costia.”

“Oh, alright, Costia, this is Clarke, Clarke, Costia.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Clarke shook her hand and casually checked her out. She was very pretty. In a delicate sort of way. Her skin was flawless, like porcelain. Her brown eyes and dark brows contrasted nicely with her blonde hair, bottle blonde, probably. Clarke disliked her instantly. And she knew she was being ridiculous. She was probably a lovely person.

Lexa found the whole situation a bit awkward. Two women, both of whom she was having sex with, even if one was dream sex. And to top it off, Clarke was sporting a low-cut shirt, her ample cleavage staring her in the face. She finished her beer, and knew she would need a lot more to get her through this night. Maybe something stronger, like vodka, or tequila, or both.

“So how do you know Lexa?” Costia asked Clarke.

“She takes my dog every day.”

“Yeah, Clarke is a customer. Took her a while to warm up to the whole doggie daycare thing, but I think it’s been working out well for Oliver, right Clarke?”

“If you say so.”

“Oh, c’mon. He’s a hundred percent better now,” Lexa said.

“Maybe fifty percent.”

“Fifty? Please, he’s at least ninety percent better.”

“I’ll give you sixty,” Clarke said.

Raven reached for a handful of popcorn.

“I think you’re underestimating, eighty-five percent.”

“Sixty-five is my final offer,” Clarke countered.

“I’m not going less than eighty.”

Costia cleared her throat, “Why don’t you both compromise, and say seventy-five percent.”

Both Lexa and Clarke paused and looked at her, nodded in agreement.

“Okay.” “Deal.”

“Clarke didn’t know her dog’s name for like, a month,” Lexa explained to Costia.

“It wasn’t a month. You do like to exaggerate. And how are those precious kittens of yours? I’m sorry, what were their names again?”

“I’m not naming them if I’m not keeping them.”

Clarke ignored her. “Kittens? I think that’s what she named them. So creative. There’s kitten, and then there’s, kitten.” Clarke said the last ‘kitten’ with an inflection at the end.

Raven reached for the bowl.

“Why in god’s name would I name kittens that I’m not keeping?”

“Oh, I have a funny feeling they’re staying. Call it a hunch.”

Raven was clearly enjoying herself, and she offered up some popcorn to Costia, who, by the look on her face, did not share her enjoyment.

“Don’t be so sure about that, I’m a dog person.”

“I hate to break it to you, but your dogs are cat people. Might wanna join the ranks. Come over to the dark side of cat loving.”

“Never.”

“Never is a long time.”

“Hey Lexa, hey Cos!” Anya called out, just arriving for the festivities.

When she made it to Lexa’s side, she hugged both her and Costia.

“Where’s Luna?” Costia asked, grateful for the interruption.

“Here I am, Hi Cos,” and she gave her a peck on the cheek. She turned to Lexa, “Hey gorgeous,” and she kissed Lexa on the lips and put her arm around her. “Who’s your friend, I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Luna,” and she stuck her hand out to Clarke.

Clarke was staring at an amazingly, beautiful woman with long, curly, auburn hair. She instantly thought of an Amazon, strong and confident. Who was all sorts of invading Lexa’s personal space. Was this an ex? Christ, she was gorgeous, too. And a little intimidating. The sexual pheromones were oozing from her pores. She shook the woman’s hand.

Lexa cleared her throat, “Ah, this is Clarke.”

Luna eyes traveled slowly up and down Clarke’s body, a smile of approval on her face. She subtly knocked her shoulder into Lexa’s back, and gave a little “Nice,” under her breath.

Lexa prayed nobody heard that comment. She took a quick look around and thought she was safe. Luna remained draped all over her, eyes raking over Clarke, asking her all sorts of questions. She needed that vodka sooner rather than later. Luna was like a sexual bull in a china shop. She flirted with everybody, nobody was safe. And right now, Clarke was the object of her affection.

Maya came over to her, creating a nice diversion. She removed herself from Luna and gave Maya a hug. “Hey girl, I’m glad you guys could make it. Is my little dude behaving himself?”

“He’s been a pain in the butt. Try keeping a twelve-year-old from running around. He’s driving me nuts.”

“Better you than me,” Lexa kidded.

Octavia made her way over to the group with Harper in tow. “Hey ladies. Look who I found, this is Harper.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, also.”

Raven put her arm around Harper’s neck, “Me and Harps go way back, like high school days, right?”

“Yep, I’ve been putting up with you for a long time now.”

“Hey, who found you a future hubby? Me that’s who.”

“Raven set Harper and her man up,” O explained to the group.

“Oh, cool.”

“Dudes, we ready for the golf outing tomorrow?” Raven asked.

“Oh god, another humiliating day is on the horizon, I can feel it,” Clarke groaned.

“Relax Clarkie, we’ll be fine.”

“You guys are golfing?” Lexa asked.

“Yeah, it’s a fund raiser for the hospital, and we’re gonna kick ass.”

“You mean golf will kick our ass, is usually what happens,” O clarified.

“Yeah, but there’s free beer and food,” Raven said.

“Trudat,” O agreed.

Bell and Finn had just arrived, “Who said golf?”

Raven, O, Harper and Clarke, the fabulous foursome, collectively groaned.

“Hey, I heard they might have a prize for last place this year, ladies,” Finn crowed.

“Yeah, gives you guys something to shoot for,” Bell chimed in.

“Fuck off,” Raven said. “We’re gonna beat your asses tomorrow.”

“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen, drink up, girl,” Bellamy teased. He grabbed Finn and the two laughed and went off in search of cigars.

It was Echo’s turn to wander over to the group, “Does anybody need anything, a drink or whatever?”

“Nope, we’re good, hey, do you know everybody here?” Raven asked. When Echo shook her head, the introductions were made.

“So, Rae Rae, what did O get you for your birthday?” Harper asked.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” She took a quick glance at her girl.

“No, I don’t think you should tell them. Honey? I know that look, don’t.”

Raven grinned wickedly, she was well past feeling good. It was her birthday after all. She got up behind Octavia and wrapped her arms around her waist, putting her head on her shoulder. “Well, last weekend, this one here comes home with a strap-on.”

Clarke put her hand up, “Wait. I thought you both decided long ago that you weren’t coordinated enough to use one.”  

“Right? That’s what I thought, too. But now O here feels like she’s all in shape now that she’s chasing after kids all day.” She plastered a loud kiss on Octavia’s cheek, to soften the blow of dissing on the dildo.

“I don’t think chasing after kids simulates the movements of using a strap-on,” Clarke said.

“And that is why you’re the smarty, farty doctor and we’re just slumming it down here in the non-intellectual weeds,” Raven said.

“What kind of strap-on was it?” Anya asked.

“It sits in a pair of briefs, well, I should say it sticks out of a pair of briefs.”

“Huh? It’s not like in a harness?” Harper asks. “You know, with straps and stuff?”

“It can be, but O brings this one home.”

“It looked comfy. I thought I could wear the underwear without the dildo. Like, multi use it, you know?” O said.

Raven looked at her with love. “Fucking prodigious, baby!”

And there were whoops and high fives all around, as the word of the day tradition continued.

“And, it came with instructions, right babe?” Raven asked.

“It did.”

“What were the instructions?” Echo asked, new to the dildo world.

“They said you need to wear it around the house, to get used to it, before you tried to actually use it,” O said, with a wiggle of her eyebrows.

“So that’s what she did, she’s wore this thing around the house. She’s walking around the house in a pair of white briefs, with a huge fake dick sticking out of it. Actually, she was kinda strutting, weren’t you babe? Kinda proud of that thing.”

“Stop it,” O said, giving a little shove to her girl.

“She did have some spatial issues though. She was knocking into shit. She ran it into the door jam.  Bounced the fuck off of it. And she knocked over a lamp.”

“God, how big was the dildo?” someone asked.

“It was sizeable,” Raven said, “and quite frankly a little frightening. When she first put it on, I swear my cooch contracted with fear.”

“It isn’t that big,” O said. “Stop exaggerating.”

“Babe. The dogs were scared.”

“They were not.”

“They fucking howled. After barking at it for, like ten minutes.”

“They did bark at it,” O agreed.

“She was standing at the back door by the laundry room, and I hung a couple shirts on it, it was that big,” Raven said.

“Well, that’s prodigious,” a shy Maya said. Everyone looked at her, then simultaneously cheered and high fived all over again.

“So, what were the other instructions?” Lexa asked.

“Oh, this is good. It said ‘let your partner get used to the dildo. It may be sexy to have your partner jack off your dildo, or give it a blow job.’”

“Wait,” Harper said, her hand in the air, “it said to give it a blow job?”

“True story, I’ll find the instructions if you want me to,” Raven said.

“Baby, that’s okay, we don’t need to look for the instructions.”

“Did you do it?” Harper asked.

“What?”

“Did you give it a blow job?”

“No, I didn’t give it a fucking blow job. It’s a giant rubber thing. I am not putting a giant fucking rubber thing in my mouth, no matter how ‘sexy’ it’s supposed to be."

“Maybe you should have put whip cream on it or something.”

“Or like, ice cream. Soft serve.”

“Listen, listen, so, O puts this thing on, and we’re getting our sexy on, you know?”

“Chocolate sauce would be easier than ice cream.”

“Fuck! Who wants the story?”

“Sorry.” “Continue.”

“So, we were watching some movies, reading some smut, and she’s gettin’ all ready, we’re making out, getting amped up...”

Someone brought one of the bowls of popcorn into the discussion, and it was passed around.

“So, we’re all turned on and shit, and we’re getting ready for the big moment, trying to line this thing up, you know? I felt like those guys at the airport, with their little batons, waving the plane into the gate, anyway, O starts pushing it in, then jerking her hips around, so it’s not really staying in place, and quite frankly, I don’t know what the fuck hole that thing ended up in, it may have gone in one hole and out the other.”

“I hope you used lube” Clarke said. Everyone turned and looked at her with surprise. “What? I’m a doctor. You would not believe the stuff you see in the ER.”

“Oh, we used lube. We used so much lube I slipped off the fucking bed. Hit my head for god’s sake. I probably got a fucking concussion.”

There were various oh’s and ouch’s as the group commiserated with Raven and her possible concussion.

O was giggling now, “It wasn’t that bad. And I wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh, you were. I got the bruises to prove it. You were like a battering ram,” and now Raven was demonstrating O’s technique, “like, just ramming in and out and all around.” With each thrust of her hips the group’s collective heads bobbed backwards.

“I didn’t look like that,” O said, trying to keep some semblance of dignity.

“God, O, were you biting on your lip like that?” Echo asked

“No, I wasn’t, I did not look like that.”

“Oh, yes you did, I was watching.  I’m gonna call it O’s ram face from now on. Or the penetrator.” Raven kept at the thrusting simulation, her eyes rolling into the back of her head, her bottom lip between her teeth.

“Stop making shit up, Reyes.” O said, playfully slapping at her, “You had an orgasm, so stop complaining.”

“I think it was a comedy orgasm, you know when you laugh so hard you come?”

“Who the hell does that?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know. I bet it happens.”

“I bet not.”

“Well, Clarke, if you ever wanna peg old Phil, you can borrow it.”

“No thank you.”

“Who’s Phil?” Maya asked quietly.

“And, let’s not forget, the last instruction,” O said, holding her finger in the air. “Clean it immediately after use and put it in a safe place.”

Raven threw her arm back around her girl, “Yeah, or your dogs will think it’s a bone, or a boner?”

Echo made a face, “Ew, don’t tell me your dogs got a hold of it.”

“Only for a couple minutes. I chased them down and got it away from them.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“It’s clean now, you wanna borrow it? Got a few teeth marks on it though. Might make for better friction.”

“I tell you what, all that thrusting was a workout. I must have pulled something in my hip, cause it hurt for days afterwards,” O said, rubbing at the spot below her hip bone.

“Looks like your IT band,” Clarke diagnosed.

Luna cleared her throat and they all turned to her. “It’s really something that takes a lot of practice. Next time, you might wanna try this position, since you’re just beginners. If I may,” and she turned to Clarke, “Clarke would you just help me demonstrate?” And Clarke didn’t feel as though she had a choice as Luna pushed her from behind, bending her torso over and got behind her. Clarke boobs were parallel to the floor and she felt Luna’s hips start pressing into her bottom.

“The best technique is to gently roll your hips like so,” and she rolled and pressed into Clarke, who was turning eighteen shades of red. The demonstration continued. “So, you can thrust, but gently, then give a little roll…” The thrusting and rolling continued for quite a few seconds. “This motion, here, gives your partner the best chance at a vaginal orgasm, as opposed to just a clitoral orgasm. It presses on the front wall, finding just that right spot.”

The popcorn bowl was empty.

“And in this position, obviously when you feel more confident, you can reach around to your partner’s clitoris, and stimulate it, in rhythm to your thrusting, like so.”  Clarke’s eyes widened.

All attention was on Luna. To say she had a captive audience would be putting it mildly. Admiration, wonder, lust, these were just a few of the expressions being worn by the group. There was something about an Amazon warrior driving her hips into a beautiful woman that was quite mesmerizing.

Meanwhile back in her parallel universe, Clarke was wondering how it was that she was getting fake fucked by Lexa’s possible ex.  And not feeling too bad about it. She really needed to be more adventurous in the bedroom. When Luna was finished thrusting, Clarke stood up and put her hand to her throat, pursed her lips, blew out a breath.

Luna gave her a gentle pat on the behind, “Nice job.”

The group look dazed, and a little “hot.” Some discreetly readjusted their underwear.

“Anybody need a drink?” “I need a fucking drink.” “I need a cigarette.” The group scattered to catch their breath.

  
Lexa found herself in the kitchen a little later, getting Costia a glass of wine. She was pretty tipsy at this point. However, the alcohol was not helping her deal with the vision that was Clarke Griffin in her low-cut top. Her eyes had a mind of their own all night long, as they followed Clarke around the crowded room. Quite a few times she was caught stealing a glance, and it was jarring. It was like there was an invisible connection between them, a tenuous thread of attraction stretching across the room. At first, she looked away immediately. But the more she drank the more she held the stare, forcing Clarke to look away.

She re-corked the wine bottle, and turned to leave the room at the same time someone was coming in, and the saloon-style door swung open, breaking the wine glass that Lexa was holding, glass scattering across the floor. “Shit,” Lexa said, looking down at her thumb that was starting to bleed.

Raven saw the whole thing and grabbed a paper towel to wrap around Lexa’s thumb. “Here, hold this.” She stuck her head out into the living room, “Yo Griffin! Anybody see Clarke? Tell her in the kitchen stat!” She turned her attention back to Lexa, “You okay?”

“I think so, I don’t think it’s a big deal,” Lexa said as the paper towel turned red. Must be the alcohol, because she barely felt anything.  

O came into the kitchen with Clarke in tow, “Found her.”

Clarke saw the red towel wrapped around Lexa’s thumb, “Shit, what happened?”

Raven held the paper towel in place, “Wine glass broke.”

Clarke looked at Lexa, “What, you practicing your superman strength? Crushing a wine glass?”

“No, somebody opened the door and my hand happened to be there.”

“Here, let me see,” and Clarke carefully peeled the towel back. The cut was a little deeper than she would like to see. “Well, I think you’ll live, and if you’re gonna get a cut that’s about the best place to get it, no tendons there,” as she looked at the thumb pad. “You’re gonna need a stitch or two though. You should go the hospital.”

“Can’t you just put a band-aid on it?”

“I could, yes, I could put a band-aid on it, and leave a hideous looking scar on your thumb. I’m sure Cassie would love that.”

“Who's Cassie?” Raven asked O.

“You mean Costia?” Lexa asked, with bemused smile.  Touché Dr. Griffin, she thought.

“Yeah, her.”  

Lexa kept smiling. Clarke sounded a little jealous? Was that even possible?

“Just stitch it up, Clarkie,” Raven said.

“With what? I don’t have anything with me.”

“I don’t need stitches, really,” Lexa said. Nobody was listening to her.

“Bell always has shit in his car,” O offered. “I’ll go get him.”

Clarke continued to look over the cut. “You may have some glass in there, we have to get that out before we stitch it up.”     

“Is this wise? Have you been drinking?” Lexa asked. She didn’t need a drunk surgeon sticking her full of holes, even one with incredible cleavage.

“No, I had one beer, I’m fine,” Clarke said.

Bellamy came into the kitchen with a big first aid bag that he kept in his truck. “What’s going on?”

“Lexa got cut, and Clarke is gonna sew her up,” Raven said with a little too much glee.

“You want me to do it?” Bell love stitching people up.

Raven was quick to interject, “No, for god’s sake, Clarke can handle it, right Clarke?”

Clarke nodded. “You know my thing is teeny, tiny stitches, it’s my jam. I live for this shit. Okay, Linda, where should we do this?”

“Who’s Linda?” Bell asked.

O spoke up, “Just go up to our master bathroom, nobody will bother you and the lighting is really good.”

“The master bath it is, let’s go.” She re-wrapped the thumb and picked up Bell’s bag.

As they left the kitchen, Raven and O fist bumped.

“The master bath? Fucking brilliant, babe,” Raven gushed.

“It’s right next to the master bedroom, babe,” O said with a wink.

“I fucking love you, come here and let me lay my lips on you.” And they started making out in the kitchen, among the broken glass and blood stains.

 When they made it into the bathroom, Clarke put her bossy, doctor pants on. “Okay, sit on the toilet and put your hand over the sink.” She poked through Bellamy’s bag.  “Oh, cool, all kinds of good stuff in here.” She pulled out a syringe and put it on the sink, reached in, came back out with a stitching needle and thread, a small bottle with some liquid in it, a pair of tweezers, and a large pair of glasses.

“Do you need all that? What’s the needle for?”

“Lidocaine, I have to numb the area.”

“I don’t need that.”

“Oh really? There’s glass in there, and I’m gonna be putting about two stitches in your cut, and you don’t think you need it?”

“Nah, just stitch it up doc. I can handle it.”

Clarke pulled Lexa’s hand under the spigot and turned on the water.

The pain almost cause Lexa to fall off the toilet, “Oowww, shit, shit.”

“Still don’t want the lidocaine?” Clarke blinked with feigned innocence.

“That is not a very doctorly.”

“Really? I thought it was funny.”

“So not funny. Jesus that hurt.” Lexa continued to wince a she stared at the needle. She need to be a little drunker to get through this. “You got any beer in that bag?”

Clarke picked up the syringe and positioned it near the cut, “Ready Leslie?”

“Are you sure you need to stick a needle in there?”

“Are you afraid of needles? Is that what this is about?”

“Maybe?”

“Oh, well, well. The cat lover is afraid of a needle. I really can’t believe you’re a closet cat lover. All those times you made fun of me for loving cats. What did you say about them? They’re aloof? Vengeful? Are your new kittens vengeful and aloof?” Clarke asked, trying to divert Lexa’s attention.

“Not my kittens. They’re too small to be those things yet.”

“There.”

“What?”

“It’s done.”

Lexa looked down and Clarke was putting the needle away. “Wait, did you stick me already?”

“Yep. Three times actually.”

“But I didn’t feel a thing,” Lexa said with relief. She always had a little trepidation around needles, she had no idea why, just one of those weird things.

“Well, what can I say? I’m that good.” Clarke said as she put on the large pair of glasses with a small light attached to the bridge. They weren’t sexy, they were magnifying glasses so she could look for glass. She looked up at Lexa, who found the look comical and started laughing at her.

“Wow, those are attractive. You wear those out? Bet you get a lot of action.”

“Very funny,” and she turned the water on again and let it rinse over Lexa’s hand.   

“Ouch.”

“And, I don’t need action, I’m engaged, remember?” and Clarke held up her hand, not realizing that she forgot to put her ring on.

“Oops, no ring.”

Clarke looked at her naked ring finger, “Shit.”

“You know what they say? No ring, no engagement.”

“They don’t say that,” and Clarke turned the water on again.

“Ouch, it still hurts, so don’t be poking around in there yet.”

“Give it a minute.” Clarke put her chin in her hand as she leaned on the vanity, waiting for the local anesthesia to take effect.  

Lexa continued to giggle at Clarke and her bug eyes. If she hadn’t had four beers, she was sure this wouldn’t be as funny.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You have really big eyes from here.  Like huge.  Like ET or something, alien-like.”

“Okay, it’s not that funny.”

“It is on four beers and two shots of tequila.”

Clarke flicked her finger at Lexa’s cut.

“Hey, that looks like it could’ve hurt.”

“I figured you were numb by now. Sit still, I’m gonna look for glass.”

Lexa settled in, watching Clarke go about her business. “Do you have your blue bra on?” Lexa couldn’t help herself, Clarke’s cleavage was begging for attention. And, alcohol always made her flirty. And, watching Clarke all night had made her horny as hell.

Clarke took a quick look down at her chest, wondering if her bra was even visible. “None of your business.” She picked out some glass and put it in the trash.

“Aw, c’mon Clarke,” Lexa leaned down to get close to Clarke’s ear, “what color is it?”

Clarke felt a tingle of excitement deep in her gut as Lexa’s breath brushed over her ear. She fought the sudden urge to lean into her. “Knock it off. Now hold still.” She fished all the glass shards out, and got out the needle and thread. She began stitching.

“You were in my dream, Doctor Griffin,” Lexa said, almost slurring her words.

Clarke stopped for a brief, almost imperceptible second, then continued stitching up the wound. “Oh yeah? Were you yelling at me? Berating me for something?”

“Nooo.”

Clarke took a quick glance up. Lexa had a shit-eating grin on her face and Clarke blushed, thinking back to some of her own dreams. She brought her eyes back to the business at hand. “Sit still.” Clarke concentrated on the task at hand. “What was your dream about?” God, did she just ask that question? And did she really want to know?

“Let’s just say, you were wearing that bra. And that was about it. While sitting on my motorcycle.”

“Oh, I was sitting on your killing machine?”

“Exactly.”

Clarke felt like someone came in and turned the thermostat up. Like, really jacked it up. She felt sweat start to bead up on her forehead.

“Do you wanna know what we did?” Lexa knew she might regret this conversation in the morning, but she was feeling it right now.

Now Clarke felt like she was sitting on a stove, literally on a stove burner, “Not really, no,” she lied. Could this be possible, that both of them were having sex dreams about the other?

Evidently, drunk Lexa was not to be deterred, “You kissed me. Then you got up, and pushed me onto my bike, and then you stood in front of me, and you started taking your bra off…”

“Okay, all done.” Clarke finished up quickly, putting a bandage over the area, taking off the glasses. She needed to stick her head in bucket of ice, hell, her whole body. “You’ve obviously had too much to drink. You’re delusional, thinking that I would ever want to kiss you. That is not gonna happen. Ever.”

Clarke stood up and started putting things back in Bellamy’s bag. She needed to get out of this space as soon as possible, and find a large walk-in freezer.

“I think the lady doth protest too much.” When in doubt, quote Shakespeare.

Clarke stopped what she was doing. “Boy, you are really full of yourself. How does your head even fit through the doorway.”  

Lexa laughed. She looked at her thumb. “Nice job, doc.” Her eyes flicked back up to Clarke. She put her serious face on. “Are you afraid, Clarke?”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke closed up the bag and looked down at Lexa, her eyes landing right on Lexa’s lips, before moving further north. “Afraid of what?”

“Kissing me. Of what would happen if you kissed me?”

“Afraid?  Ha! Of kissing you? Unbelievable, you’re a, a…”

“Just a dog walker? A little beneath you?”

“No… you’re...”

“Not in the right tax bracket?”

“No, I wasn’t going to say any of that.”

Lexa got up and moved closer to Clarke, “What were you going to say?”

Clarke felt like she was on fire, her heart thumping in her chest, a tight knot of desire in the low part of her belly. Lexa was close, too close, she could smell her perfume. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re arrogant, and pompous, and annoying,” she snapped. She needed to put out the fire, before it engulfed her.

“I’m arrogant? I’m pompous? Ha, that’s a good one.” Lexa moved in closer, her face inches from Clarke’s. “And don’t forget not funny. I hear that a lot. But at least I’m not a spoiled brat, raised with a silver spoon in my mouth.”

Clarke’s dander rose, the nerve of this woman. She may be hot as shit, she may have the most beautiful eyes she’s ever seen, but no one called her a spoiled brat. She didn’t move away, in fact she shifted closer. “Did you just call me a spoiled brat?” Their lips were millimeters away, each feeling the other’s breath.

“I think I did, world renown surgeon Clarke Griffin.”

“So, that’s what you think? I’m some spoiled, rich kid?”

“You are, your whole family is a bunch of doctors. How could you not be rich and spoiled?”

“You don’t know me at all.”

“I know enough.”

And Clarke did the only thing she could think of to shut her up, engagement be damned. She kissed her. She slammed her lips into Lexa’s so hard that Lexa went crashing backwards into the door. Barely a second went by and Lexa’s tongue was in her mouth, and she was grabbing Clarke by the back of the neck and pulling her even closer. It was violent, it was angry and it was sexy as shit. Clarke ground her hips into Lexa, lifted her leg up, and Lexa grabbed it and pulled her closer still. Their mouths slanted across each other, teeth knocking together, they moved apart, took quick gulps of air and went right back to it. They couldn’t get enough of each other. Lexa moved Clarke backwards, her free hand grabbing Clarke’s ass, sending them both banging into a shaker cabinet, sending its contents all over the floor. Lexa’s lips and tongue found their way to Clarke’s neck, leaving a hot, wet trail down to her pulse point. Clarke moaned and pulled Lexa’s lips back to hers, sucking on them, thrusting her tongue inside.

Then, as quickly as it started, it stopped. Clarke pulled away. Horrified at herself. “Shit.” It took all her might to disengaged her body, which wanted things she couldn’t have.

“Holy fuck, you kissed me,” Lexa said, clearly stunned by the whole incident.

“I did not, you kissed me!” Clarke tried to deflect.

“What? My lips stayed over here the whole time. They didn’t move.”

“Oh, they moved.” Clarke ran a shaky hand through her hair. “Jesus Christ. We were drunk, that’s what it was.”

“You said you weren’t drunk.”

“Well, obviously I was wrong.”

Lexa looked down at her thumb, “You sew pretty good when you’re drunk,” Lexa said to try and lighten the moment. She leaned against the wall for support, her heart still pounding in her ears.

“Look, this didn’t happen, got it?” Clarke was trying hard to banish this whole episode from her mind, as she paced around the small space. “There was no kiss.”  

“Oh, there was a kiss. A pretty, fucking, good kiss.” Lexa felt like grabbing her again, her pacing was making her dizzy, and her lips were lonely.

“I can’t be kissing anybody, I’m engaged! There was no kiss.” She glanced at Lexa and saw she was getting no help.

“Maybe we should kiss, just to make sure that it wasn’t a kiss.” Lexa’s drunk logic made perfect sense to her drunk self.

Clarke took time out from her pacing, and stood in front of her. “Really? That’s your solution? That we kiss again?”

“Yes,” Lexa said. God, she wanted to bury her face in the cleavage that had been haunting her all...night...long.

Clarke felt a little panic rise in her chest, because right now, that’s exactly what she wanted to do. “It would be stupid to kiss again.” God, so stupid she was engaged.

“Stupid is a red flag word, Clarke,” Lexa said, liking the way Clarke’s name sounded on her lips.

Clarke gazed at Lexa, battling her inner demons, battling this sudden hunger that had flared up, that was suddenly consuming her. She was feeling her will power ebb away. Maybe Lexa was right, maybe they needed to kiss again to establish that the first time was not a kiss. Sound logic. It was really quite scientific, wasn’t it? Fuck it.

And she moved in and captured Lexa’s lips with her own, her tongue making its way into her mouth, both of them stumbling into the shaker cabinet once again, and the last remaining bottles and lotions fell on the floor. Clarke pressed her body, full length into Lexa’s and she heard the brunette moan into her mouth. Suddenly Lexa’s lips were gone, and she felt them on the bare skin of her exposed chest, felt her hands grasping at her breasts, teasing her nipples, and she sucked in her breath. All she wanted right now was take her shirt off and feel Lexa’s lips all over her skin.

“Yo, you guys still in there? Is everything okay?” Bellamy asked through the closed door.

The sudden interruption startled them, and they quickly broke apart. Clarke stepped away, and put her hand to her heart, “We’re fine, just finishing up, we’ll be out in a minute.” She hoped that her voice sounded normal, that it wasn’t shaking like the rest of her body.

“Okay, see you downstairs.”

They heard Bellamy move away from the door.

Clarke started to have a mini panic attack. “Jesus Christ. What am I doing? I’m engaged for god’s sake, this cannot happen, this did not happen. I have a boyfriend. Listen to me, no one can know, you can’t tell anyone about this, got it? There was no kiss.”

“What kiss?”

“Exactly, we finally agree on something. Now, I gotta go find Phil.”

“You mean Finn?”

“Shit.” Clarke was extremely flustered. She went to the door and opened it, only it was the door to the linen closet.

“Wrong door.”

“I see that,” she hissed, and turned around, going out the other door, Bellamy’s bag in hand.

Lexa stayed behind for a few moments, feeling dazed. Maybe she was dreaming, and she took a quick peek in the mirror to check herself out. No, she didn't look like she was dreaming. She looked at the bandage on her thumb. Nope. That looked real. She looked at the mess on the floor. Yep, real. It happened. It really did. She was assaulted by Clarke Griffin’s lips. And she liked it. A lot.

Clarke practically ran down the steps, running away from the best kiss of her life. She managed to avoid everyone she knew on her way out the back door and into the crisp, cool, evening air. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm the storm that raged inside. She plopped down onto one of the chaise lounges on the deck.

She had to kiss her, right? Lexa practically dared her to do it. And Clarke Griffin never backed down from a good dare. She was drinking, she had that one beer. It was an alcohol-fueled kiss. One beer can do that to people. Couldn’t it? She’d been dreaming about her, and her subconscious made her do it.

She started to feel a little better. Number one, Lexa made her do it, number two, her one beer made her do it, and number three, her subconscious made her do it. Who else could she blame? She could blame this chaise lounge. One, Lexa, two, beer, three, subconscious, and four, this chaise lounge. With so many things conspiring against her, there was no way she could avoid kissing her. Why, she should be congratulated, it took four things to make this happen. The chaise lounge being the straw that broke the camel’s back. Whew. She was fine.

“Clarke, are you out here?” Finn called out.

“Yeah, over here.”

He walked over to the far side of the deck, squinting through the darkness. “What are you doing out here?”

“Just needed some fresh air.”

“You ready? I’m pretty beat. And we’ve got the golf outing tomorrow.”

“Yep, I’m ready.”

They both went back inside, and Finn went upstairs to get their coats.

Clarke found Raven in the crowd, dancing around the living room, sporting her dildo underwear. “Nice look,” she said.

“Hey Clarkie, there you are, where’ve you been? I missed you, buddy.” Raven was sloshed.

“We’re heading out.” Clarke pulled her in for a hug, avoiding her protruding member.

“Oh, okay. Tomorrow! Want me to bring this?” she asked. “Maybe we’ll hit the ball further if we have it on.”

“No, why don’t you leave it home. I love you, Raven lunatic, happy birthday, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, I love you too, Clarke. I love you. I want you to be happy. You’re my best friend. Speaking of love, where’s Lexa?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen her.” Finn was next to her now, helping her slip into her jacket.

“Bye Clarke!” And with that she turned back to continue her dildo dance.

 

Finn and Clarke made it home safely. Finn let Oliver out back to do his business. “I’m gonna go up, I’m exhausted. Can you bring him in?” Finn asked.

“Sure, I’ll hang down here for a while with him.”

Finn gave her a kiss, “Don’t stay up too late, love you babe.”

He went upstairs and Clarke let Oliver back inside the house. She took off his collar and gave him a biscuit. “There you go buddy, a little snack.” He swallowed it whole. “Might be more enjoyable if you chew it, you know.”

Clarke sat down on the couch and sighed. She had a feeling she would be awake for a while. She felt emotionally exhausted. Oliver brought his ball over to her and she tossed it across the room. One good thing about mini mansions, there was plenty of room for ball playing with Oliver. He dutifully brought it back and she tossed it again. They kept up the game for a good ten minutes, until she threw the ball and he just looked at her. “Had enough?” She patted the space next to her and he jumped up and snuggled in, with his head on her lap.

She absently stoked his head, and tried not to think about the events of the evening. Lexa’s lips were as good as advertised in her dreams. The kiss was epic. Both of them. She hadn’t been kissed like that in a very, long time. But, she needed to forget about that. It was just a one time thing, it won’t happen again. It can’t happen again. She already felt heavy with guilt, she didn’t need to add to that weight. She still couldn’t figure out what about Lexa had her so captivated. They really didn’t get along. But damn, the physical attraction was strong. And, evidently Lexa was feeling it too, dreaming about her. Clarke allowed herself a little smile, she bit her bottom lip as she thought about being in Lexa’s dreams.

“Hey babe, do you know where my red golf shirt is?” Finn called down. “I wanna wear it tomorrow.”

“Check the laundry basket, I don’t think it was washed yet,” she yelled back. Well, that sobered her up. Her fiancé was upstairs, in their bedroom, and she was down here, fantasizing about a woman. Pull yourself together Clarke Griffin. You’ll be married in a few months. That’s your destiny. That’s what you’re supposed to do. De-infatuation plan goes on as scheduled. Although she better add a step, right after number one, or maybe it should be number one. No kissing the object of your infatuation. Yep, that’s number one alright.

“C’mon Ollie, let’s get to bed, buddy. Hopefully I’ll fall asleep.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to thank silverwolf, since she was the only one who sent me a picture after the last chapter. Thank you SW. She said she was hesitant. She said that she didn’t want to seem stalkerish. People! If I ask for you to send me pics, it’s not stalking. Stalking is when you’re sitting in someone’s parking lot at their work. And we all know how that turns out. Oh wait…  
> So, send me pics of your pets and I’ll post them. Unless you think that I will in turn stalk you. That’s a valid concern. As I said a long time ago, I have a hard time letting go. I also suffer from the affliction of always needing to get in the last word. Be it email, text, tumbling, or arguing with the wife. I am working on it, admitting you have a problem is the first step, after all. It’s not totally bad, it’s how I became such good buds with the kid, Miss Elizabeth. We both suffer from it, and it has led to the longest tumblr convo in history. Like seven months and counting.  
> So, feel free to send me pics, or tumble me. You can ask a question anonymously if need be, to avoid getting stalked by moi. Here is my tumblr "ask me a question" link, [lorig11ask.](https://lorig11.tumblr.com/ask)  
> Because I know you're all dying to ask me things. Like, "do you ever shut up?" Or, "Do you have a life? And if so, maybe you should get back to it?" Or, maybe you have concerns about the story, like, "will the kittens ever get names??" "Does Raven have to floss a lot because of all the popcorn?" I don't know.  
> I am leaving this weekend for a few days to chase the solar eclipse. We rented an RV for our adventure, and we’ll drive to wherever the clouds are not. I'll be driving for 4 days, I'll be very bored, please talk to me. And if you see a Class C Motorhome with three lesbians in it, wave and say hello. Maybe I’ll post some pics on the tumblr. And if you happen to live in the totality zone, and you don’t mind a 27’ RV parked in front of your house, let me know. I mean, cause we’re best friends and all. And I promise to not leave a dairy queen curl in your toilet.  
> Here’s to not going blind!!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that last chapter was so much fun. And now I have to try and top it. Doubtful. And now I know that when Chuck doesn’t comment, I shat the bed, since she saves her comments for really good chapters.  
> Shout out to Elizabeth, for napping during the last five weeks. #bighelp I can make fun of her because the wife and I may adopt her next year. We never had kids, we’re not kid people, but she’s 27, and can cut the lawn. And you think I'm kidding.  
> Shout out to LisaM, who just killed it with me as we tweaked a few scenes. We were rolling, cause we’re both golfers. And quite frankly, we may be the only ones laughing. Oh fucking well.  
> Shout out to my new bud Ana, this Luna’s for you girl! I nicknamed Ana, Atomic Brunette, cause she can literally kick my ass, and when she’s done kicking my ass, she may take me for ride on her Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle. Meow.  
> Our pictures this chapter, first up, from fellow Flyers hockey lover bdasswarrior, Raven’s spirit animal. How fucking funny is this. OMFG.  
> The next three are from the Atomic Brunette, there's her mini pony, Martin, who I claimed as mine. I said gimme, and she said OK. Next, her puppo Spike, check out that Chow Chow’s paw paws. Sadly, no longer with her. Then Dallas, the paint horse, and I won’t hold his name against him, cause being from Philly, we hate those Cowboys.  
> From MeNemNesa, my medical editor, Japie the Djungarian hamster. Say that three times fast. He is literally sitting in his food bowl. I’m jelly. I’d like to sit in a bowl of food. And just bend over and eat whenever I wanted.  
> Then we have my editor-in-chief of Hollywood re-write, Aliza and her doggie Sadie.  
> Next is Anzac, Tobesan’s Austrailian cattle dog. He was her bud for 15 years, sadly no longer with her.  
> And last but not least, making her second appearance in this story, Elizabeth’s Banshee. I call her Dufus Direwolf. Look at her. Seriously, look at her. If she’s not a dufus, I don’t know who is.

 

 

 

**Raven's Spirit Animal**

           

**Martin                                                          Spike                                                                  Dallas**

               

**Japie                                                   Aliza & Sadie                                                          Anzac  
**

 

 

 

**Dufus Direwolf**

 

The Front Nine

 

_Clarke was sitting in her lap, her light, blue bra the only thing between Lexa’s lips and nirvana. She reached around and undid the snap, and her breath caught in her throat. Here they were in all their glory, at just the right height, so close to Lexa’s mouth. She slipped the straps off Clarke’s shoulders and almost lost her mind at the sight before her. Clarke cupped her hands under her own breasts, her thumb rubbing her nipples, moaning, begging, and Lexa thought she died and went to heaven. Here she could stay forever, worshiping at the altar that was Clarke Griffin. She needed no other sustenance. And she feasted on them. She feasted like she’d been starved for weeks. Like she’d been walking in the hot desert for miles without water and stumbled into an oasis. And Clarke held them up for her, whimpering with pleasure as Lexa’s tongue circled round and round, as her lips sucked, as her teeth nibbled and nipped. Her hands stroked down Clarke’s back, then back up, then back down to the top of her ass, giving it a squeeze. She brought her hand around and found the wetness between Clarke's legs, and they both groaned, and Clarke threw her head back, her mouth open, panting. Lexa slid a couple fingers inside and stroked and Clarke’s moans got louder, “Oh god, please, Le…..”_

The dream started to fade, and Lexa struggled to hold onto it. Something sand-papery and wet was in her ear. God was that Clarke’s tongue? Soft purring, was Clarke satisfied? She opened her eyes and was immediately swatted across the nose. A kitten sat on her face. The irony of which was not lost on Lexa. A loud, frustrated groan gurgled up from her throat. Shit. No! She needed to finish that dream. She needed to hear it, she needed to hear Clarke say her name, and she wanted to watch her fall apart while she said it. She rolled onto her stomach, put the pillow over her head. Mother of god. That was hot. Well, she asked for a sex dream, she got a sex dream. Fuck, Clarke was steaming hot in that dream. She sighed. Let’s face it, Clarke was just steaming hot, period.

She swallowed to try and erase the fetid taste of stale alcohol that was still in her mouth. She was hungover, and her head was pounding. The events of the previous evening were still a little fuzzy. She couldn’t even remember how she got home. Costia had driven her own car because she had to catch a red eye to the east coast last night for work. And she vaguely remembered saying goodbye at one point in the evening, and she remembered that maybe Costia wasn’t too pleased with her. Hm. Why would that be? What the hell happened? She felt little paws walking on the pillow that was over her head. She heard voices. God, was she still dreaming? She slowly picked her head up as the two kittens balanced on top of her. Definitely voices. Then a knock on her bedroom door.   

“Yo, you getting up anytime soon?” Anya called through door.

“Oooh god. Why are you so loud?” Lexa said in a pillow-muffled voice.

“Somebody had too much to drink last night,” Anya grumbled. “Go get her up.”

Next thing Lexa knew her bedroom door was opening and Luna came strolling in. The kittens scattered.

“Hey sexy, get up, I’m gonna make breakfast.”

“Please leave me alone.”

“Not a chance.” Luna stared down at the lump under the covers and watched as the kittens tentatively crawled back on the bed. “Did you name them yet?” she asked.

Lexa was still stewing a little from the kitten wake-up call. “No. I'm not keeping them. I'm a dog person.”

Luna plopped herself down on the bed next to Lexa and picked up the pillow to peek at her. “Here, drink this, take these.” She handed Lexa a glass of water and some Advil.

“Ah, I’m naked under here,” Lexa said as she struggled to sit up and not flash her friend. She gingerly took the glass and popped the pills in her mouth, drinking it all down.

“Yeah, I know, I put you to bed last night.”

Lexa spit a little water onto the bed. “What?!”

“Oh, please, it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.” She picked up the swatter and gave him a little smooch.

“You haven’t seen me.”

“I have now.”

“But, but I’m naked, did you...did you take...how did you...oh, never fucking mind.” How Luna still had the power to reduce Lexa to a babbling idiot was beyond her. And goddamn her thumb was throbbing. She looked at it and suddenly the memory of the kiss in the bathroom came rushing back to her. She thought she had dreamed it. But it actually happened. She kissed Clarke, or Clarke kissed her. Fuck. And she seemed to remember that it totally rocked her world. A few more tidbits of last night started trickling into her consciousness. She remembered coming downstairs after the kiss, remembered pouring another shot of tequila. Remembered how scared she felt because the kiss was so incredible, so mind blowing. Her mind was fucking blown all right.  

She was startled by her buzzing phone. She reached out for it. She breathed a sigh of relief, it was Aden texting. Get a hold of yourself, Lexa, it wouldn’t have been Clarke. Jesus.

_“Dinner wednesday dude?”_ he asked.

That’s exactly what she needed, a nice normal evening with the Jordan’s. _“I’ll be there, with the brownies. :)”_

_“Cool.”_

“Who was that, Clarke?” Luna asked.

“What? Why would it be Clarke?”

“It smells like sex in here, did you have another sex dream?”

Lexa felt the warmth creep into her cheeks, the tips of her ears felt hot.

“Wait, I was just kidding, _did you_ have a sex dream last night?”

“Please go away.”

“Starring Clarke?”

Lexa lay back down and put the pillow over her face. “Where are my dogs?”

“Anya put them outside and fed them.”

“You’re welcome,” came the call from the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Lexa called back to her.

“So, you had a sex dream about Clarke?”

“Who else,” Lexa lamented into her pillow, resigned to the fact that Luna would only drag it out of her in a minute anyway.

“Interesting. So, what were you two doing upstairs for so long last night?”

“She was stitching up my thumb,” and she showed Luna her bandage without coming out of her pillow cave.

“Doesn’t take that long to put a couple stitches in a thumb.”

“How do you know?”

“I know all.”

“Shut up.”

“Clarke is hot. I’d do her.”

“You practically did,” Lexa mumbled into her polyester blend.

“Hey,” Anya called from the kitchen, “I heard that.”

“If I was single babe, you know that’s what I meant,” Luna replied back to her girlfriend.

“Okay.” Anya paused, then added, “She is hot. Jesus, did you see her in that shirt? And when you had her bent over? That was hot, babe.”

Lexa reluctantly flashed back to the scene from last night, as Luna repeatedly thrust into Clarke’s backside. She remembered being captivated and insanely jealous at the same time. Then when Luna reached around and appeared to touch Clarke’s clit, Lexa thought she was going to have an aneurysm. And she wanted her mouth where Luna’s fingers dared to tread.

Lexa rose up a little, took her pillow, and whacked Luna. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“What, that little peep show?”

“Yeah.”

Luna started cackling, “You should have seen your face.”

“Yeah, Lex, holy shit, I thought you were gonna start drooling,” Anya called.

“What did you expect, it was like watching a porn show for god’s sake. Everybody there had the same look on their face. It had nothing to do with Clarke. Maybe you missed your calling.”

“Yeah, babe, bet you could do a porn film,” Anya said.

“Ha! I know I could. So what else happened upstairs?” Luna directed at Lexa.

Lexa was caught off guard by this new line of questioning. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well, first Clarke came flying down the steps like she was running away from something. Then you came stumbling down looking like somebody stole your cookie...or your Clarke.”

“I did not.”

“Yes, you did. You looked dazed. Like you’d been doing something other than first aid up there.”

Lexa got a little defensive, “She had to take out pieces of glass, then she had to stitch me up. We didn’t do anything else.”

“I think you did. Did you have sex up there?”

“What?  No, we didn’t have sex up there, that’s ridiculous. I’d like two eggs scrambled please.” Surely, if she placed her breakfast order, Luna would vacate the bedroom and the sexual inquisition would stop. She lay back down, hugging the pillow tightly to her chest for moral support.

“Did I ever tell you I was sorry for giving you that black eye when you were a freshman in high school?” Luna asked.

It was the first time Lexa was on the basketball court with the tall, imposing senior from their arch rival.  They were both centers, but Luna towered over her at the time. Lexa had her back to the basket, her hands up waiting for a pass, and Luna bumped her slightly from behind and whispered, “You’re fucking hot.” Well, fumbly, bumbly freshman that she was, Lexa dropped her hands, stunned and embarrassed, as the heat crept up into her cheeks. Next thing she knew the pass came at her and smacked her right in the face. Luna reached around, elbows flying, connecting with Lexa’s orbital socket, stole the ball and started a fast break the other way. Lexa’s coach pulled her from the game, sat her down, and gave her an ice bag. She sported a black eye from that elbow for a week afterwards. “No, you never did apologize.”

“Well, I’m sorry. So, who kissed who?”

“She kissed me,” Lexa said before she realized what was happening. It slipped out. She didn’t mean for it to. It was an involuntary reaction, like when a doctor tested your reflexes by hitting your knee with that little rubber hammer. Clarke was gonna kill her. Damn it. Luna and her powers of interrogation.

“The kissing part was quite obvious.”   

Damn it, Luna and her powers of observation. All of these served her well on the force. She was a detective for the Southwest district police department. She was one of their top investigators.

“It was not obvious,” Lexa countered, hoping to god Luna was wrong.

“Totally was. What are you going to do about it?”

Lexa caught sight of Luna’s glock, holstered under her armpit. “Is that your gun there, your concealed weapon?” she asked, trying to distract from the investigation at hand.

“I’m heading into work in an hour.” Luna poked her in the ribs. “What are you going to do about it?”

“About what? You going to work?” Surely this would throw her off the scent.

“About the attraction between you and Clarke? You said she was engaged.”

Think Lexa, think, “You said you were gonna take me shooting sometime, when can we do that?”  The heat from her bedside lamp was starting to make her sweat, did Luna purposefully aim it at her at some point?

“Lexa, don’t make me put you in a choke hold. What are you going to do about Clarke?”

Lexa relented a little bit, being held in a naked choke hold by Luna, at any other time, might be enjoyable, but not at this particular moment. “I’m not going to do anything. She’s engaged. And that means off limits. I have to respect that.” Lexa paused. Then added, “And it doesn’t matter, because we don’t even like each other.”

Luna stared at her.

“What?” Lexa asked suspiciously.

“Nothing.”

“We don’t like each other. I’m gonna try and stay away from her.”

The stare continued.

“I’m really staying away from her.”

Now Anya was in the doorway staring at her.

Super sleuth Luna kept interrogating. “If you don’t like her, then why do you have to try and stay away from her? I would think that would be easy.”

“Isn’t somebody supposed to be making breakfast? Two eggs scrambled? Wheat toast? Is there bacon?”

“Bacon’s fattening. You don’t want Clarke to think you’re gaining weight, do you? Why do you have to try and stay away from her?”

Lexa remained mute.

“Lexa?” Few could not answer Luna when she turned her steely, amber gaze upon them.

Lexa’s head continued to pound, her brain foggy, her stomach rumbling. Her not so steadfast resolve crumbling right before her eyes. “Because she’s sexy as fuck. There, I said it. I wanna do unspeakable things to her body. Happy? I wanna hear her scream my name in ecstasy. Anything else?”

“Nope, that about says it all. Scrambled egg breakfast coming up.”

And with that Lexa was left alone with thoughts of sexy Clarke running through her brain.

“You owe me twenty bucks,” she heard Luna say to Anya.

 * * *

Raven stumbled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. As she sat on the toilet, she looked at her cabinet, sensing something wasn’t right. Her perfume was never on the second shelf. And why was her body lotion on the ground by the bathtub. Their master bath was a nice size. As you walked in from the bedroom, the sink and counter were on the right, the toilet at the end of the counter, and then the shower stall beyond that. Across the room was the stand-alone tub, the door to the linen closet, and the cabinet in question. The cabinet was almost alone in the corner, out of the way of foot traffic. Why were things rearranged? And on the floor?

O shuffled in and turned on the shower.

“Babe? Did you rearrange the stuff in our cabinet yesterday?”

“No, why?” O asked sleepily.

“Because it looks different.”

“Different how?”

“Like, rearranged different. The deodorant is not where it always is, my face cream is in a different spot, my hair band was on the floor.”

O looked over at the cabinet. “Huh, yeah it looks different. You were pretty toasted last night, maybe you cleaned or something. Last time you were drunk you put all our T-shirts in color coded piles.”

“No, no, I went right to bed.”

“Well, what else could have happened?”

Raven looked at O. “Well, there was some minor surgery up here.”

O was too tired to figure it out, “So?”

“So? Why would all this stuff be in different spots, and other stuff on the floor?”

“I don’t know babe, I’m too tired for questions.”

“Somebody knocked into it.”

O got undressed and stepped into the shower, pulling the glass door shut behind her. “Well, maybe Clarke or Lexa ran into it.”

“It’s all the way over there, nowhere near the doorway. Why would they run into it over there?”

“I don’t know, baby, why don’t you ask Clarke when you see her today. Oh, and the dildo is hanging off the mailbox.”

“Is that where it ended up? I lost track of it.”

“Might wanna get it off there, if you want mail tomorrow.”

 * * *

Lexa cleaned up the breakfast dishes after Luna left to go to work and Anya went out to take care of the dogs in the kennel. She was careful not to get the stitches wet. Luckily, the Advil she took earlier had taken the throbbing away. The kittens were sitting next to the sink, waiting patiently for a bubble to float up from the dish soap. Lexa smiled at them, her annoyance from earlier forgotten. She feared she’d soon have to come up with names, because quite frankly, they weren’t going anywhere. But she wasn’t ready to admit that to anyone else right now.

As she washed the final dish and put it in the rack, her mind circled back to her dream. The moment she almost heard Clarke say her name. She may have come herself if she hadn’t woken up. She shook her head. She was being ridiculous. She was being weak. Who cares if Clarke said it? It didn’t matter. Lexa was staying away from her. She’d have someone else drive the route. She’d make sure she was nowhere near her. Never again. If she wasn’t around her, there was no more danger of kissing. If there was no more kissing, well, she’d be devastated, but maybe the dreams would stop. Maybe she would stop aching to touch her. Touch her breasts, obviously. That was all. She appreciated her breasts. She was a breast woman. There, that was it. No more Clarke Griffin.  Maybe she should move out of Seattle. Her phone buzzed. It was a text from Raven.

“ _Harper bailed, we need you to be our fourth, tee off 1230pm I know you got a band aid on your thumb but suck it the fuck up.”_

 Lexa typed back immediately “ _I’m in.”_ She put her phone down. Fuck. So weak.

 

* * *

Clarke made it to the country club early so she could try and limber up. Finn drove with her, but he and Bellamy were in the restaurant enjoying the free lunch. Finn’s group would be in front of Clarke’s, and Clarke could only imagine the trash talking that would be taking place. And to make matters worse, John Murphy would be here, too.

She took out a club and started aimlessly swinging it, waking up muscles that had been sleeping soundly an hour ago. She didn’t fall asleep until after four a.m., because of a certain brunette. And a certain kiss. And a certain grope of her breasts. Yes, last night was still fresh on her mind. Oh so very fresh.

She pushed those thoughts out of her mind as best she could and went to get a bucket of balls. She hoped Raven, O and Harper would get there soon.  She felt like a loser on the practice range, surrounded by people who clearly had a better grasp on the game than she did. And not just any people, her colleagues, her superiors, her staff. Her phone vibrated in her back pocket. She pulled it out and saw a text from Maya.

_“How about this wednesday for dinner?”_

Clarke smiled, what a nice surprise. She really liked the Jordan’s. _“Absolutely, let me know what I can bring,”_ Clarke typed.

_“Will do. Touch base later?”_

_“Yes! Looking forward to it!”_

Clarke put the phone back in her pocket. Finn worked late on Wednesdays, so it shouldn’t be an issue. She looked around for her foursome, and still saw no sign of them. She hoped they all managed to get out of bed. Finally, she saw Raven approaching. “Hey girl, we ready to play some golf?”

“You mean are we ready to cheat at golf, you bet your ass,” Raven said as she shucked her golf bag off her shoulder.

“How you feeling? You were pretty toasted last night.”

“I’m good, no worries, gonna have a little bit of the hairy dog.”

“You mean the hair of the dog that bit you?”

“What the fuck ever, Clarke. What about you?”

“I only had one beer, so I’m fine.”

“Yeah, O wasn’t that bad either, so half of us are not hung over.”

“Speaking of O, where is she?”

“She’s at the store buying an outfit; she’ll be here any minute.”

“Where’s Harper?”

“Yeah, about that, Harper bailed. Couldn’t get out of bed. Talk about hung over.”

“Great!” Clarke threw her hands up a little. “Now we don’t have a fourth.”

“Relax, we have a fill in, she’ll be here shortly.  How do you like my outfit?” Raven liked to golf, but she really loved one thing. The clothes. She had on a cute pair of snug fitting pants and a pretty pink shirt topped off with a warm vest, to keep her core cozy.  

“Very stylish, as usual.”

Raven took out a club and swung it around. “So, ah, Clarkie.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you happen to knock into our cabinet in the bathroom last night?”

Thank the lord Clarke had her back to Raven when the question was asked, because she felt a little pinkness sneak into her cheeks. “What? Why would you ask that? No. I wasn’t anywhere near the cabinet.” She put a ball down and made a show of addressing her ball and making a practice swing.

“Well. Stuff was on the floor, stuff was on different shelves, it was just weird. Like somebody rearranged it, or accidentally knocked it over and then put stuff back.”

“It was probably your dogs.”

“Dogs don’t put things back on shelves.”

“Yeah, but I bet cats could.”

Raven became pensive as she contemplated the possibility of cats being so neat. She was easily distracted when she was hungover.  Clarke was saved from further questions by the arrival of Octavia. She was carrying a bag of clubs and sporting some new clothes.  

“What the fuck is on your head?” Raven asked.

O touched her hat, “What? Styling, ain’t it? It’s an ivy cap, it’s very retro.”

“You look like some old Scottish dude who just stumbled out of a pub. Totally shit-faced.”

“Very funny, Reyes. I think I look good. Remember our saying, it’s better to look good than to play good.”

“I’d like to _not_ finish last this year, if possible, so maybe we could play a little good,” Clarke said hopefully.  Every year they finished last, and the year before at the dinner afterwards, Finn and his group teased them mercilessly. “You were drinking last night, so, maybe we could stay sober until at least the fifth hole.”

O and Raven looked at each other, then looked back at Clarke, with thoughtful expressions. “Naaahhh,” they said simultaneously, shaking their heads.

“Clarke, the beer is free,” O said. “It would be abhorrent to not drink free beer. That’s one ladies, that’s one,” she said with her finger waggling in the air.  

“Word of the day, word of the day,” Raven said, as she high-fived her, and chest bumped her for good measure.

“But, wouldn’t it be nice to not finish last for once?” Clarke asked as she finished the group high five.

Raven bent over, trying to look like she was stretching, but she really needed to release the wedgie she was getting from her tight pants. “Relax Clarke, I’ve been practicing, I’m ready to tear it up out there.”

“I’m surprised you’re not banned from this place,” O said as she took out a club to start to swing.

“Why would they ban _me_?” Raven asked.

“Oh, I don’t know, for yelling ‘watch the fuck out’ instead of fore?”

“Nobody heard that. Everybody is old and deaf at this place.”

“You must have said it on every shot, because every shot almost killed somebody,” O said.

“Everybody heard it,” Clarke agreed.

“What ev’s, here’s our fourth,” Raven said looking over Clarke’s shoulder.

Clarke turned around and her heart stopped, either from lust or anger, she couldn’t tell which.  “Oh my god, you invited Lexa?” she said, panic rising in her chest. She had just banished these thoughts from her mind mere minutes ago, and now they tumbled back into her consciousness.

“You mean Linda?” Raven said with a smirk. She had plenty of popcorn in her golf bag for the upcoming Clexa moments.

“Yeah, she’s good at golf actually,” O said. “She’s a single digit handicapper.”

Raven whooped, “Can you say ringer?”

“But, but, she has stitches in her thumb. She can’t play like that.”

“Fuck that, she’s an athlete, she played division one basketball, she can play through pain. She’s gonna gut it out for us.”

“She could rip open the stitches,” Clarke said, grasping at any straw to save herself.

“Then you'll fucking stitch her back up.”   

Lexa made her way over to them and set her bag down.  “Ladies.”

“Dude, did you remember to bring an outfit for dinner?” Raven asked.

“I did, I got your text. Clarke, how are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” Clarke said, then got instantly mesmerized by her lips. Those lips last night were incredible, and she was lost in her memory of tasting them. They were plump and soft, especially the bottom one, and god help her she wanted to feel them in other places. Her chest heaved at the thought.  

“Clarke!” Raven yelled.

“Huh, what?” She looked up from the lips and met a pair of bemused green eyes.

“Lexa’s gonna give us some pointers, pay attention,” Raven scolded. “You wanna be _not_ last, right?”

Clarke shuffled her feet to break the spellbinding effect of lips on skin. She tabled her fantasy as she watched Raven address the ball. Lexa gave her tips on where her hands should be, how she should be standing, her swing plane, her grip. Lexa’s hands were all over Raven’s hips and Clarke bit her bottom lip. Those hands with those long, elegant fingers. Soon Raven was making decent contact and it was O’s turn. Clarke turned away, trying to get a hold of herself, and just started hitting some balls for something to do, hoping Lexa would just ignore her, dreading the thought of having her stand too close.

“Clarke, if I may?” Clarke groaned inside. She felt Lexa slip behind her and rearrange her hips. Tiny electrodes began firing off between her legs.

“Here, stick your butt out a little more,” hands grasping at her ass, “bend over a little bit.”

Last night’s dildo demo came rushing back, and Clarke felt a small uptick in her body temperature.

“Don’t be so stiff. Go ahead, swing.”  

Lexa’s hands were still resting familiarly on Clarke’s hips. She promptly shanked the ball, ala Tin Cup, straight down the line of golfers who were warming up, much like her crotch was warming up with Lexa’s touch. “Oh sorry,” she waved at them.

“Here, let me help you.” Now Lexa was snuggled up behind her, arms around Clarke, hips pressing against her, hands over Clarke’s hands which were on the shaft of the golf club. “How did you sleep last night,” she whispered in her ear, low enough that nobody else could hear.  

Clarke shivered, her legs nearly gave out, and she may have creamed her panties. She had to get a hold of herself quickly. She pushed her butt back into Lexa, knocking her backwards a little bit to create some breathing room. “Fine, like a baby,” she hissed back at her.

Lexa was back in her ear, “Liar.” She gave a soft laugh as she stepped away from Clarke to give her some room to swing.

“You know, as your doctor I would advise you not to golf with your stitches,” Clarke said as she swung the club down sending a nice worm burner out into the practice area.

“She’s an athlete Clarke, leave her alone,” Raven called over to them with a mouthful of popcorn.

Clarke looked at her, perplexed. “Popcorn again? What is it with you and popcorn lately?”

“What? It's a vegetable.”

“Corn has absolutely no nutritional value.”

“It's in the vegetable aisle of the grocery store. Whole Food’s wouldn't lie.”

They heard the horn sound, calling all the golfers back to their respective carts. “I’m riding with O this year,” Clarke said quickly, knowing there was no way she could spend an entire afternoon in the same cart as Lexa.  Her heart wouldn’t survive it, neither would her underwear.

Raven, of course, would have none of it, “Don’t think so Clarkie, I need to ride with my girl.” There was no way she was gonna separate those two.     

They put their bags on the carts, and when the starter gave the signal they headed to their first hole, but not before passing the cart girl, who was loading up the beer. Raven jammed on the brakes and grabbed everyone two bottles. “It’s five o’clock someplace!” she yelled enthusiastically.  

Raven and O sped along to the first hole. Lexa looked at Clarke, smiled, and tried to make the best of a difficult situation. “Well, here we are.”

“Yep, here we are.”

“Might as well make the best of it. Probably gonna be a long round.” When Clarke didn’t answer, Lexa shrugged and hit the gas on the cart, following after Raven and O.

Clarke knew it was going to be a long round, these sort of golf events took over five hours to complete. She was plotting her next moves in her head. She was going over the steps to De-Infatuation. Step one, stop thinking about her. No, wait, step one was no kissing. She sneaked a quick peek at the brunette next to her. She wasn’t all that. Her ears were way too small. And she was too thin. And too athletic looking. Her eyes traveled down to the steering wheel on the golf cart, studying the fingers that were wrapped around it. Overrated. She glanced back up to her profile, her green eyes were too green. She started to feel a little stronger. A little more hopeful that she’d make it through the day without a sexual breakdown of some sorts. Dragging Lexa off into the trees to make out with her.

Lexa felt Clarke’s eyes on her and turned to look at her, raised her eyebrows, “What?”

“What?”

“What are you looking at?”

“I wasn’t looking at anything,” Clarke said as she quickly averted her gaze and stared off in the other direction.

“You were kinda staring at me, Clarke.” No matter how hard she tried not to, she loved to say her name. Loved the way it sounded coming out of her mouth. This was a recent development.

“No I wasn’t.”

Lexa sighed, “Fine.” She turned her attention back to the cart path as they made their way to their tee box. They pulled up behind Raven and O, who were having an animated discussion with Finn and his group, each bragging to the other about how they were gonna kick each other’s ass.

Lexa sat with her left hand resting on the steering wheel, and her right hand on the seat between them, fingers softly drumming on the hard leather surface. Her bandaged thumb bounced up and down in time with her drumming fingers.

Clarke looked down at the thumb and absently picked it up. “How’s it feel?”  

Lexa was so startled by Clarke’s touch, that she jerked her hand back.

“Jesus, I’m not gonna hurt you, I just wanted to look at it to make sure it wasn’t infected.”

“Oh, sorry. It was sort of a reflex I guess.”

“A reflex? Nice to know that my touch is so abhorrent,” Clarke said softly.

“Abhorrent? Clarke, I didn’t mean to imply that, Jesus, where did you even get that?”

“Word of the day.”

“Oh, okay.” Lexa was feeling bad about her overreaction. She reached out, smiled, and hung a high five, a sort of a word of the day peace offering.   

Clarke eyed her up, and bit her tongue to keep from returning the smile. She did, however, return the high five.

“Here, you can look at it,” Lexa offered.

“No, if you don’t want me to, I won’t touch you.” Clarke had no idea why she was being so passive aggressive.

“Clarke, I’m sorry, I don’t find your touch abhorrent. Please check to make sure it’s not infected. I haven’t even looked at it today.”  

Clarke was still stinging from the earlier rejection. Which made no sense at all, because why should she care if Lexa didn’t want to be touched by her.

“Please?”

Now green eyes were boring into hers, and she felt her insides soften a little.  She relented. “Well, you should have checked it this morning.” She gently removed the bandage, examined it closely, and was satisfied. “It looks good.” And then before she could stop herself, her thumb, on its own volition, softly caressed the palm of Lexa’s hand. She was mortified. She had no idea how it happened. Fucking alien thumb. She hoped Lexa didn’t notice. She was saved from further humiliation as Finn came over to check on them.

“Hey Lexa, good to see you again.”

“Nice to see you, Finn.”

“Hey babe, Raven’s betting dinner at the Metropolitan Grill that you guys are gonna beat us, you in?” he asked.

“Sure,” Clarke replied, knowing that this was surely a very expensive dinner lost. No way were they gonna beat Finn’s group. John Murphy came sauntering over, his dark hair slicked back, amber colored ray bans on.

“There’s my girl, how are you beautiful?”

Clarke felt her skin crawl. “I’m fine, John, it’s nice to see you.”

“Don’t I get a hug?” he asked with his arms open wide.

Clarke sighed, she had to behave herself, because he was Finn’s boss, but one of these days she was gonna slap his face. She got up and gave him a hug. He pulled her much closer than necessary, held her tight to his chest, and his hands wandered down to her ass, gave a little squeeze and pat.  

Lexa had a good view of the action and had a sudden urge to knee his balls through the roof of his mouth. She was a bit surprised by her violent impulse, but she was sure it had nothing to do with Clarke, but everything to do with the type of guy he was. The type she hated, the type who saw women as objects. Yep, had nothing to do with the way he grabbed Clarke. And if he touched Clarke again, she’d be stepping in. She took a quick look around to see what the hell Finn was doing during this whole exchange. He was talking to Bellamy and Octavia, totally oblivious to the fact that his friend was practically feeling up his future wife.

John glanced over at Lexa, “And who’s this lovely vision, I’m John Murphy, Dr. John Murphy,” he said as he reached across the cart to shake Lexa’s hand.  

Before Clarke could do the introduction, Lexa was speaking up, “Lexa Woods,” and she grabbed his hand and squeezed the mother living shit out of it. She got the satisfaction of watching him wince, and when she released his grip, he shook his hand.

“Yo, you guys gonna tee off, or what?” Raven called out.  

Finn’s group made their way back to their carts, grabbed a club and walked to the tee box.

Bellamy turned, “Here’s a free lesson for you ladies, pay attention.”

“Fuck off, Bell,” Raven yelled back at him.

As Clarke sat back down in the cart, Lexa asked, “Who is that douche bag?”

Clarke looked over at her, seeing a little spark of anger in those green eyes. She had no idea why she should be angry. “That’s Finn’s boss.”

“He’s an ass.”

“You just met him,” Clarke said, looking at Lexa with a questioning look.

“He shouldn’t have touched you like that. He needs to keep his hands to himself.”

“Careful, you almost sound protective,” Clarke said with a smirk.

Lexa realized that that’s exactly how it sounded. She tried to play it off. “He shouldn’t touch any woman that way,” she said.

“I know, and you’re right, he is an ass. But he’s Finn’s boss, so I can’t really say much.”

Lexa just shrugged her shoulders and looked away, struggling with the fact that she was ready to assault someone for touching Clarke Griffin in an inappropriate manner.

Clarke took a deep breath, ready to put the whole John Murphy grabbing of the ass incident out of her head. She had other things to worry about today, like how she was going to survive riding in this particular golf cart all day.  

Finn’s group was out in the fairway hitting their second shots, so it was the girl’s turn on the tee box.

Raven jumped out of the cart, first beer in hand. “Okay, okay, let’s giddy up, who’s up first? Me?  Alright, let’s get this party started.” She put down her beer, teed up her ball and hit a beautiful slice, right out of her fairway and into the next, she cupped her hand to her mouth, “Watch the fuck out!”

“Jesus Christ,” Clarke said. “Already with the F bomb?”

Next up was Lexa, and she hit a beautiful drive, straight down the fairway.

“Whoa, nice. Watch out second to last, here we come,” Raven said gleefully, already finishing her first beer. “Go Clarke, hit ‘em straight, straight girl.”

Clarke gave her the evil eye as she made her way to the tee box. She bent over to put her tee in the ground and happened to catch Lexa watching, her head cocked to the side to get a better look at Clarke’s ass, with what could only be described as a longing look. Clarke stood back up, wanting to glare at her, wanting to berate her for daring to look at her that way, but she was secretly thrilled. “De-Infatuation!” she silently screamed in her head. It was gonna be a long day.

She addressed the ball, took a swing, and missed entirely. The day just got longer.

“Good practice swing Clarke,” Raven yelled, sensing that Clarke was embarrassed.

Clarke gave her a thankful look.

“Keep your head down Clarke,” O offered up.

“Do you need me to help you with your set-up, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“No, no, I got it.” _Please god, no_.  She took a deep breath, steadied her hands and prayed to whoever was listening, to please don’t let her miss again. She swung at the ball, made some contact and sent it well over to the left.

“Watch the fuck out!” Raven yelled.

Clarke looked at her, “Nobody is even over there.”

“I know, I just like saying it.”

They piled into their carts to go look for balls. When Clarke sat down, she couldn’t even make eye contact with Lexa, “Don’t say anything.”

“I wasn’t,” Lexa said as she put the golf cart in motion. “Just keep your head down.”

“I thought you weren’t going to say anything,” Clarke huffed.

“Okay, I won’t.”

“Then don’t.”

“I’m not.”

“You just did.”

Lexa hid a smile and reached for her beer, thought better of it, and kept her hands on the wheel. Best to keep her wits about her today. Clarke’s perfume was positively assaulting her senses right now.  

Clarke had the opposite thought running through her head, she needed to take the edge off, and she needed to relax, so she guzzled half her beer down in one gulp.

“Whoa, might wanna take it easy there, Nancy Lopez.”

“Very funny.”

“We’re only on the first hole.”

“Who are you, my mother?”

Lexa smiled again, clearly enjoying Clarke’s proximity, even if she knew Clarke wanted to clock her. Her thoughts from this morning, of operation avoid Clarke Griffin, seemed very far away.

After finding their respective balls, they all came back to hit from where Lexa’s ball landed, since it was a scramble format, which meant that everybody gets to hit from the spot of the best ball.

Lexa put a tee in the ground near where her shot landed so everyone knew where to drop their ball. She took her stance, swung, and sent a beautiful arcing shot onto the green, but it rolled off the back edge. “Damn,” she swore softly.

O stepped up and sent a line drive into the sand trap at the left of the green.  

Clarke hit her ball ten feet. “Don't anybody say anything,” she said as walked back to the carts. She grabbed her putter and she and O began the short walk to the green.

“Have another beer, Clarkie!” Raven called as she put her ball on the tee that Lexa had placed in the ground.

Lexa’s eyes widened. “You're teeing it up in the fairway?”

“Relax. Nobody’s watching.” She took out a wood and set up.

“We’re only fifty yards out, don't you think that's too much club.”

“Nah. I’ve got this.” Raven took a wild swing and the ball sailed, and kept sailing, and sailing, eventually out of view.  “Watch the fuck out!” she hollered. She turned to Lexa. “I think I'm on the green,” she stated with some certainty.

Lexa pursed her lips and shook her head, she was a tad bit skeptical. She called out to O and Clarke, “She thinks she’s on the green.”

“Oh, she’s on a green, alright,” Clarke shouted back to them.

“Yeah like two holes over,” O clarified.

Raven ran up to Clarke and O to see where her shot landed. Her first thought was, damn, that was a nice shot. Her second thought was, damn, did she kill anybody? She spotted it, and it was indeed two holes over. “We’ll just play it when we get there,” Raven said as she waved to the group on the other green who had all turned to stare at her. “Yo!” she yelled at them, cupping her hands around her mouth. “That's my fucking ball. I hit it over there, it’s my ball.” She gestured to try and convey what she meant. “Yeah, no, what? That's my fucking ball, yeah, just leave it there. Pretty good shot, right? Went a long fucking way. What? Yeah.” She turned to Lexa, “I have no fucking clue what they’re saying.”

Clarke cowered behind Octavia, realizing who was on that green. Only the President of the hospital, getting F bombarded by her bestie.

“Dr. Griffin?” an elderly gentleman with white hair called over.  

Clarke sheepishly left her cover and waved, “Hi Dr. Kentman, sorry about that.”

“Yo Kenny, dude, leave my fucking ball there, okay?” Raven yelled.  

If the hole on the green were bigger, Clarke would be crawling in it right now. Dr. Kentman gave a wave to Clarke and his group left Raven’s ball on the green.  

After much fanfare, and many duffs and wups, they managed to put the ball in the hole. If not for Lexa, it would have been a comedy of errors.  But they wrote a five on the scorecard.

“I think that’s the first single digit number we’ve ever recorded,” O said. “Legally.”

“No, we got a nine on that par three last year,” Raven said.

“Only because you threw the ball over the water,” Clarke corrected. They got in their carts and proceeded to the next hole.

 As they waited their turn, Lexa looked over at Clarke. “You have a natural swing, you know.”  

 Clarke met her gaze, waiting for a punchline that was sure to follow, “But? I feel a ‘but’ coming on.”

“No ‘but’, you’re just rushing your swing a little.” Clarke’s bottle was empty so she reached for Lexa's untouched beer. She took a healthy sip.

“Should we talk about the elephant in the room?” Lexa asked.

“What elephant?”

“What elephant? The kiss, Clarke, the kiss. You seem really agitated and nervous, I just thought if maybe we talked about it, you might feel better.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, it was just a kiss. It wasn’t even that good,” Clarke lied. And it was a big one.

Lexa laughed at the implausibility of that statement. “Oh, please. Not good. Really?”

“Really. Do you find that hard to believe? That maybe you’re not that good a kisser?”

“Kissing is something I excel at. I’m a good kisser.” Lexa had no doubt about it.

“Maybe you’re not.”

“I’ve never had a complaint before. Never,” she said emphatically.

“First time for everything.”

“What are we talking about?” Both girls were startled by Raven, who had magically appeared in front of their cart, her head leaning in, popcorn in hand.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me,” Clarke said. “I didn’t know you were there.”

“I just got here.”

“I didn’t hear you.”

“I have quiet golf shoes on. Memory foam.”

“Oh, okay. You have a piece of popcorn stuck to your mouth,” Clarke pointed out.

“That’s for later. Did I hear someone say kissing?”

Lexa’s eyes snapped open wide, “No, no kissing.” She looked to Clarke for reassurance.

Clarke spoke up quickly, “Nobody said kissing, there was no mention of kissing. We said hissing, hissing.”

“Yeah, Clarke saw a snake,” Lexa blurted out. Clarke just looked at her like she was an idiot. Lexa raised her eyebrows and shrugged, “Back there...at the last hole.”

Raven looked at Clarke, who decided to continue with the alibi, “It was a snake, it was hissing. We didn’t say kissing, we said hissing, maybe you have popcorn in your ear.”

Raven absently stuck her finger in her ear, she had been eating a lot of popcorn lately. She slowly looked back and forth at the two in front of her. “Carry on then,” and she went back to her own cart.  

Clarke gave Lexa an annoyed look, “Really? A snake?”

Lexa gave as good as she got, “Hissing? Hissing? What was I supposed to do with that?”

When Raven got back to her cart, O was busy reading her email on her phone. “Something’s going on back there.”

“Back where?” O asked as she looked around.

“Something’s going on with Clexa. I feel it.”

“Really?”

Raven slowly nodded. “I’ll figure it out before the day is over.”  

Clarke and Lexa pulled up behind them. They all got out of their respective carts.

Raven looked at the picture on the scorecard and addressed the group. “Shit. Water hole, ladies. We always have trouble on the water holes.”

“You mean you always have trouble on the water holes,” Clarke corrected. Raven’s balls had an unhealthy attraction to water. It seemed no matter where there was water, eventually Raven’s ball would be sitting in it. One time, they found it in a bird bath.

“I don’t see water, where’s the water?” Raven said, searching the fairway in front of her.

Lexa looked at the card, “I think the water is behind our tee box, so you should be good.”

“Famous last words,” O mumbled to Clarke.

“Clarke, you’re up!” Raven called.

“Why am I first?”

“To scare all the snakes away, let’s go.”

Clarke glared at her as she walked up to the tee box. “Very funny,” she said as she put her tee in the ground. She knew Raven probably wouldn’t buy that story, but it was the best she could come up with on such short notice. She put her ball on the tee, stood up, and with snakes on the brain, she swung. She hit a lovely tee shot that traveled all of twenty feet.

“Good shit, I mean shot Clarke,” the Peanut Gallery said.  

“Shut up. The club slipped.” Ah, the best excuse in the game, Clarke thought, the ole slippery club.  

Raven stepped up next and looked down the fairway. It was pretty wide open, except for a few large boulders off to the left. No matter, she never hit to the left. She waggled and wiggled over her ball, bit her bottom lip to concentrate, she even closed one eye, if it helped when you aimed a gun, it must help when you hit a golf ball. She swung as hard as she could. The ball headed straight to the rocks, hit them square on, ricocheted backwards, sailing over their ducking heads and landing in the creek behind the tee box.

Raven looked incredulous. She turned to the girls, “Did that just happen?”

O smirked, “That was abhorrent.”

Lexa was dumbstruck, never seeing a ball do that before.

“You jinxed me Clarke,” Raven accused. “You said water. It’s like saying ‘I’m glad there’s no traffic,’ and suddenly you’re in a traffic jam.”

“I did no such thing,” Clarke said as she threw down her second beer and reached into Raven’s cart for a third. “Go get your ball, we’re all dropping from Lexa’s drive anyway.”

“I didn’t even hit it yet,” Lexa said.

“Oh, please, miss right down the middle, you know it’ll be perfect,” Clarke said with her beer bravado.

Raven looked behind at the creek, “I’m not getting my ball, probably full of snakes in there.”

Clarke sighed. She knew she was not going to hear the end of the snake story.

By the time they finished their ninth hole, the halfway point, they were all feeling pretty good. The cart lady was on a first name basis with them. She found them every other hole, their favorite beer iced and ready.  

Their score was surprisingly good, probably due to two things, one, Raven would walk up to each green and accidentally on purpose roll a spare ball along the green, showing the line of the putt. One time she rolled it in, shouting, “That’s a birdie, bitches!” and they all picked up and carded a three. Number two, Clarke putted like a champ when she was drinking. She couldn’t drive the ball for shit, she couldn’t hit an iron, but goddamn she could putt when tipsy.

So, at this point, nine holes in the books, the girls found themselves five under par. Rarefied air indeed. The likes of which having never been seen before by this group. A heady feeling enveloped them. Suddenly, a free steak dinner at the Metropolitan Grill was not wishful thinking, and Raven, who was competitive as the day was long, let Finn and Bellamy know about it as she drove up to them on the next hole.

“Yo, jack wads, what’s your score?”

Bellamy gloated, “We’re three under par!”

“Yeah. What are you guys, like thirty over as usual?” Finn laughed, elbowing Bell at what he thought was a funny joke.

Raven circled them in her cart, staring, with her middle finger raised. When she completed her circle she shouted, “I like my steak medium rare, bitches!”

Clarke, who witnessed the whole exchange, merely shook her head. The golf gods would not look kindly on such boastful behavior. It was going to be a long back nine. She glanced at her cart partner. Suddenly her ears looked adorable, her body was fantastic, her fingers sexy, and her eyes dazzling. She looked away. Must be the beer goggles, right? Christ, nine more holes.

 

To be continued...

  
  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m exhausted from trying to get this chapter posted. If you notice, the pictures have captions, the pictures are sorta centered, and this is all due to the wife, who helped me. She’s a bit more savy with HTML code. She spent the day with her family, who are a bunch of whack jobs by the way, she comes home, all stressed out and edgy, and I’m edgy from working on this thing, and I ask her to please help, which she does, then I yell at her to STOP LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER, cause I’m a douche bag loser, but still, she helps. I gotta go kiss and makeup now. 
> 
> I don’t have a funny story, so Elizabeth came up with one. I'm sure she was half asleep when she wrote this, or completely asleep by the looks of it. My comments are in parentheses.
> 
> "This was a few weeks ago. So Banshee (The Dufus Direwolf) was even more goofy. Her lanky puppy legs happily trotting all over the place. Larri Tori (both co-workers) and I were walking with our dogs. Round and round we went And (Random capitalizations, ritavrataski, beta supreme, would kick her grammatically incorrect ass) Banshee kept being a dork. And we kept laughing at her Larri said she's so cute. Her big noodle arms floppin all over. And Tori only have (I think she meant half) heard her. So she misheard her. So Tori shouted "what?!? Nipples?" Which was hilarious. We were dying. But then I realized we were at the top of the property which was right next to the elementary school. Where the kids were out at recess As tori is just shouting nipples. (role models) It is now a thing at work that if you shout nipples Tori knows you're talking to or about her That's the best I got. I'm so ded (dead) Idk how you're funny all the time so well"
> 
> Sigh. I can't even fluff that up. Don't worry, we can talk about her, she's sleeping. Being funny is no easy task, as we can all now see. But don't let this stop you from sending any funny story along. Obviously the bar has been set very low.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls play some golf, Clexa likes bathrooms, and some fun at the awards dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, bfcameron and I were chatting on the tumblr a few weeks back, she’s from Australia, and she sends me pics of stuff sometimes. I’ve nicknamed her Roo for obvious reasons. She calls me Twitch, cause I’m a bird watcher. I have to trust her on that. It probably means fucktard, but I love a nickname, (one of you guys called me Mad Hatter last chapter, and I loved it.) Anyway, this particular pic she sent me was of a fenced meadow, with some sheep. She goes, “Check out these dorpers.” And I think to myself, aw cute sheep, why is she calling them dorpers? What is a dorper? Is it some Australian cuss word, like fuckers? Of course that’s where my mind went. So, that’s what I conclude, it’s just the Australian way of saying fuckers, maybe they find it more polite. I was so impressed with it, that I used it the very next day on the golf course. I hit a ball in the water, “Dorp,” I said. The wife looked at me. “It’s my new Australian curse word,” I said proudly.  
> So I’m writing to Roo and I’m like, “This dorping yellow jacket stung me.” At which time she patiently explained to me that dorpers were a type of sheep. I told her it was my new cuss word.  
> She for sure thinks I’m a moron, although she doesn’t say it to my face.  
> I always try to guess what time it is there, and I fail miserably. I don’t know how many times I’ve tried to guess and never been right. And then a couple weeks ago, she said it was daylight savings time, and that I needed to add/subtract an hour. I said, “Well, I’m dorped.” Great word, right? Try it sometime. #dorpers  
> And, she has also managed to totally kill my desire to visit her country. First time I said it was on my bucket list, she sent me a link to an article, “Twenty ways to die while visiting Australia.” I said, “I love kangaroos.” She said “They’re assholes.” I said, “I love Koalas, my goodness, I wanna spoon one.” She said, “Koalas are stoned, clap riddled shit machines.” She said something about a huntsman once. I’m thinking, I like Charlize Theron, and wasn’t Kristen Stewart in that movie? She informed me that they’re spiders, that grow to be a foot fucking big. A foot-sized mother fucking spider. Needless to say, I have to update my bucket list and delete some shit.  
> Ok, enough about me, let's get to the chapter. Thanks always to sleeping beauty, I mean Elizabeth. My future landscaper, I mean daughter.  
> Big thanks to LisaM, who has become a muse of sorts for me. And calls me out when I’m being a lazy shit writer. And giggles and guffaws with me over the story.  
> Thanks to ritavrataski, who beta’d this chapter.  
> Thanks to Delirious_Jer for some fun ideas that I used.  
> Our pictures this chapter! First two are from my canuck friend azraelwells, her puppo Jilly aka Jillybean and her kitten Sebastian.  
> From CatKat, her baby Calliope, OMG. Kittens. Totes adorbs. Then all grown up.  
> And, last but not least, the dufus direwolf. Words fail me. She is literally sitting on the dashboard of the van. And the next pic, she is sound asleep, with what Elizabeth calls, her shark eyes, and for added enjoyment, a ball is jammed into her mouth.  
> Enjoy the chapter my lovlies! Send me pet pics if you want via email, cardwire1@aol.com, or the [tumblr](https://lorig11.tumblr.com/).  
> If you’re not on this facebook page, clexa fanfiction, check it out [here](https://www.facebook.com/groups/584394388390166/). It's a very nice group.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Jillybean & Sebastian **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Baby pic of Calliope & then all grown up  
**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Dufus Direwolf**

 

THE BACK NINE

 

The girls were staring down a long par five to start their tenth hole. Raven stood on the tee box looking for the flag stick, which seemed to be in the next county. Finn’s group was already hitting their approach shot to the green. She wandered back to her bag and brought out the big dog. She lovingly removed the Shrek head cover Octavia had gotten her for Christmas, caressed the club, smooched it for luck. The big dog had stayed in the bag until now. But it was time. She felt she was sufficiently warmed up.

O groaned, “No, not the driver, put the driver away.” Balls hit by Raven’s driver were rarely ever seen again. Some of them ended up on milk cartons.

“What?” she scoffed. “It’s a long hole. I gotta get the ball out there.” She teed up her ball and took a few practice swings. She stepped back and made a show of studying the hole in front in her. “Ladies, is there anything better than beer and golf?” Raven asked with a wicked grin.

“I could think of a few things better,” O mused.   

Clarke flashed back to last night in the bathroom, that kiss was certainly better.

Lexa became thoughtful, Clarke’s breasts were definitely better.

Raven lined herself up, gave a butt waggle, took the club back, clearly over swung and sent the ball to the right—at an almost unheard of angle, breaking all the laws of physics—straight into a large oak tree. All sorts of things dropped out of the tree, everything except her ball.

She whipped her head around to her playing partners. “Did you see my ball?”

“No, but I think you killed that squirrel,” O said.

“No, I didn’t. I think he just fell.”

“Squirrels just don’t fall,” Clarke clarified.

“Look, he’s getting up, he’s okay. Little guy’s wobbly, but he’s okay. I’ll just hit another one.”

“NO!” They all called out in unison.

“Alright, calm the fuck down. Somebody else go then.”

“I’ll go,” O said. She took a deep breath and started giggling at nothing. She took the club back and swung, sending the ball over to the right towards Raven’s tree.

“Watch the fuck out, little buddy,” Raven called to the still staggering squirrel.

Lexa stood next to Clarke waiting for her turn. She kept stealing little looks at her, Clarke’s earlier statement sticking in her craw. Of course, she was a good kisser. All her previous girlfriends lauded her kissing ability. She refused to let doubt creep into her brain.

“What are you looking at?” Clarke said under her breath, trying not to sway. Three beers had her feeling pretty loose.

“You.”

“Well, stop.”

“Maybe you’re the bad kisser.”

“Ha! No way, I’m a great kisser,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa knew firsthand the truth of that statement, but she was too stubborn to give Clarke the satisfaction of agreeing with her. “Maybe I should ask Phil.”

“Go ahead. I’m sure he’d agree. I’m a first-class kisser.”

“So am I.”

“Oh? I’ll ask Cassie next time I see her.”

“You do that.”

“You’re up, Lexa,” Raven called out.

Lexa glared at Clarke as she stepped up to the tee box and hit a ball that was a little anger driven.

“Wow, girl, that’s a beaut!” Raven yelled. “Clarke, go.”

Clarke placed her ball on the tee and hit it twenty-five feet.

“That’s five feet further than last time. Getting better, girl,” Raven encouraged.

Clarke bent down to pull her tee out of the ground.

“You wanna just walk up there and get your ball, Clarke,” Lexa called out. “I can pick you up in, like, two seconds.”

“Very funny.”

They piled into the carts to go find everyone’s ball.  

“My ball’s gotta be over there somewhere,” Raven said.

“Let me pick mine up first,” O said.

After the short drive to Clarke’s ball, they followed Raven as she drove up the fairway. They watched as Raven slowed down to let Octavia lean out of the cart and pick up her ball, only she hit the gas while O was still leaning out, and next thing everyone knew Octavia spilled out of the cart, rolling along the fairway like a tumbleweed.

Lexa had to execute a slick evasive maneuver to avoid running her over.

Raven stopped about ten feet away. “What the fuck are you doing out there?”

“You dumped me out of the goddamn cart,” O said as she got up and dusted herself off and put her ivy cap back on. “Your driving is abhorrent.”

Lexa drove up next to O with her high five ready.

“Are you okay?” Clarke the doctor asked, even though she knew she was too far gone to be of any service.

“I’m fine. Reyes, get back here.”

Raven drove back and stopped to pick her up. “Sorry, babe. I have to piss like a racehorse. It’s making me jittery.” She offered an apologetic high five with an extra finger wiggle, which was returned reluctantly.

“Go over behind the trees,” Clarke suggested.

“I’m not going behind the trees, there’s snakes around here for god’s sake.”

“Jesus Christ,” Clarke said under her breath. Raven was on to her, she just knew it. The jig was up. She knew Clarke was covering up something.

“There’s a bathroom after this hole, just squeeze your legs together,” O said.

“Yes, you’re right, babe. Thanks.”

They all pulled up to Lexa’s anger-fueled, monster drive and got out to assess the situation. The guys were now on the green, and Bellamy and Murphy turned around and started gesturing at the girls, daring them to hit it to the green.

Raven turned to Lexa, “Those mother fuckers taunting us?”

“Looks that way to me,” Lexa said.

“What?” O asked.

“Those mother fuckers are taunting us,” Raven said, pointing to the distant green. Raven was getting pissier by the minute, as the guys continued to make fun of them. “I should take out my driver and cream it. Take one of those fuckers out.”

“You can’t hit them from here, it’s like, well over two hundred yards,” Clarke observed.

Raven ignored her. “I should try.”

Lexa, who had been shocked and awed with Raven’s long shots all day, knew one of two things would happen. One, she would clock someone on the green, preferably douche bag Murphy, but Finn would be a consolation prize, or two, she would put it on the patio of the clubhouse restaurant, probably in someone’s shrimp cocktail. “Tee it up, girl.”

Raven glanced over at her, and a slow, evil grin took over her face. A fist pump and a cackle followed as she got out the big dog. She bent over, placed the ball on a tee in the middle of the fairway, took her club back, bit her lip with concentration, and whaled on it.

It was a perfect storm of mechanics, swing plane, tempo, contact. The ball came off the club head like a rocket, heading for the green, flying straight towards it, the straightest shot Raven hit all damn day.

“Oh shit, WATCH THE FUCK OUT!” Clarke screamed.  

The boys seemed to lose track of it, thinking it must have careened out of bounds, as they turned their backs and went about the business of finishing up the hole. But it didn’t go out of bounds, instead it hit Murphy square in the back. He collapsed onto the green like he was shot, Bellamy bending over him, all four golfers looking back down the fairway at the girls.

Raven dropped her club, spread her arms wide, and in her best home boy voice yelled, “Take that, mother fuckers.”

Lexa grabbed her sides she was laughing so hard.

Raven fist pumped a few times, turned to her girlfriend, “Babe, that was _not_ abhorrent, that was _not_ fucking abhorrent,” she said as she high fived it all around.  

“No, baby, it wasn’t. Get over here and let me lay my lips on you,” O said, using their favorite phrase, and Raven went to her and embraced her and they began kissing wildly, tripping over the big dog, landing on the ground, and rolling around some more.

Clarke watched them, “That _may_ be abhorrent.”

She and Lexa shared a look and a mini high five.

When they got up to the green, Clarke dropped the putt. Murphy was standing next to the hole when he was struck, so it was an easy tap in for Clarke. The boys were still on the next tee box, Murphy rubbing his back.

Raven couldn’t stop herself, “Yo, fellas. We just got a...what is it? An osprey, or a chicken hawk or something?” she asked Lexa. Raven had no idea because she never sniffed two under par in her life.

“An eagle, it’s an eagle, two under par,” Lexa explained.

She turned back to the boys, “Yeah, bitches, we just got an osprey, or an eagle, or some way cool hunting bird...those birds hunt, right Lex?”

“Yeah, they do, both of them.”

Raven was clearly gloating. She had a half a mind to drop her drawers and moon them but she maintained some semblance of decorum.

After their euphoria of the elusive eagle, Raven and O stopped at the ladies’ rest room. It was a two-seater, so Clarke and Lexa waited their turn, sitting in their cart outside of the bathroom.

“My first girlfriend thought I was the best kisser she ever kissed,” Lexa said, still smarting from the earlier discussion.

“Twelve-year-olds kissing doesn’t count.”

“I wasn’t twelve, Clarke.”

“Mmhmm.”

“I was sixteen. She was eighteen. Said I was a natural.”

“Sounds like someone can’t take constructive criticism.”

“There was nothing constructive about it. And don’t think I’m not asking Phil.”

“Go ahead and ask him,” Clarke said.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

O and Raven finished up, and Clarke and Lexa went into the bathroom. Each took a stall and closed the door.

“If you ask Phil, then I’m definitely asking Carrie,” Clarke said as she unzipped. The fact that she no longer used Finn’s name when he wasn’t around didn’t even register with her.

Lexa rolled her eyes at the Carrie comment. “Go ahead, you certainly won’t hear complaints from her about my kissing.”

“Well, you won’t hear complaints from Phil either. He loves the way I kiss,” Clarke said as she finished up and flushed.

They both left their stalls with their panties in a bunch.

“Oh please,” Lexa said. “Guys don’t even think about how good a kisser women are, they got one thing on their minds and one thing only. I’d have to hear it from your alleged ex-girlfriend for confirmation, until I do, I’ll have my doubts.” She started to wash up at the sink.

“Alleged? Alleged? You don’t think I had a girlfriend? I had a girlfriend for two years. And she had no complaints, none.” Clarke looked at Lexa in the mirror as she turned on her water, “I really don’t know why you’re being so defensive, not everybody can be a good kisser.”

“Oh, you mean like you?” Lexa stared at the blue eyes in the mirror.

“Yes. I’ve had people go out of their way to tell me how great a kisser I am.”

“To take a line out of your playbook, pphhtt,” Lexa huffed.

“What’s that, pphhtt?” Clarke asked.

“That is doubt. As in, I doubt that people have gone out of their way to tell you what a great kisser you are. And I’m not defensive, I’m merely stating a fact, that _I am_ a great kisser, I make women’s knees weak.”

“Ha! I’d like to see that.”

“I can prove it.”

“Oh, how you gonna do that, Linda,” Clarke said, now walking over to the paper towel holder. The bathroom was really quite nice for being just a golf course rest room. There were golf-related pictures on the wall, a table with some pamphlets on it was near the doorway, some toiletries and tampons in a basket on the granite sink counter.

Lexa was fed up, and damn it she needed to make a point. And goddamn she was tired of being called Linda, and god fucking damn it Clarke was so hot, even while being a pain in the ass. She stared at Clarke’s back as she pulled some paper towels out of the dispenser. She weighed her options.

Fuck it, she thought. This was for bragging rights, that was it. Nothing else. She walked up to Clarke, grabbed her, spun her around, and smashed her lips into hers. She grabbed the back of her neck and held Clarke’s head still while her lips and tongue and teeth had their way with Clarke’s mouth.

The momentum of the kiss sent them backwards and they banged into the sink, Clarke’s hands flailing around, looking for an anchor, or something, anything to hold onto, knocking the toiletries and tampons all over the floor. She settled for the small of Lexa’s back, as both hands landed there and she pulled her closer. A small moan escaped from deep inside, as Lexa’s tongue continued its assault.

They breathed heavily into each other’s mouth, as they both came up for air. As soon as they caught their breath they went right back to it. Lexa tasted beer and peppermint from the gum that Clarke was chewing, and she would soon be chewing, because the gum in question was now tucked inside her cheek.

When she felt Clarke sag against her, she pulled back. “Ha! Your knees are weak, and you moaned, I heard you.” She stepped away, breathless from the kiss, and tried to reel in her pounding heart. She had to fight the ache to pull Clarke back into her arms. She distracted herself from this thought by mindlessly chewing the gum that had recently taken up residence in her mouth.

“My knees aren’t weak, I slipped,” Clarke said between small gasps of air. She lied. She did feel weak. But now was not the time for the bare-naked truth. “And it wasn’t a moan of pleasure, it was pain, you nearly broke my back when you threw me against the sink.” She lied, again. Of course, she moaned with pleasure, for fuck’s sake. Who wouldn’t after that kiss? But no way was she going to admit that.

She wanted to make eye contact with Lexa, wanted to flash her angry eyes at her, show her how much the kiss didn’t affect her, but her traitorous orbs seemed stuck on Lexa’s lips. Their softness was like a siren calling her back to a rocky shore. Jesus Christ, Clarke thought, where’d that come from, enough, de-infatuation! The restroom suddenly was stuffy and hot. She felt a trickle of sweat roll down her back. Kissing contests were evidently hard work.

“It was a great kiss,” Lexa said defiantly.

Clarke, not willing to give an inch, merely shrugged her shoulders. “It was, maybe, okay.”

Lexa looked at her incredulously. She knew what she felt. She knew what Clarke felt. Her thumb at one point rested on Clarke’s pulse point, and it felt like a jackhammer it was beating so fast. “Right. You keep telling yourself that. Meanwhile, over here in the real world, I know that was a great kiss, so why don’t you just admit it? And while you’re at it, you can admit that I’m a better kisser than you. Because, I know for a fact, that you can’t do better than that.”

“Pphhtt,” Clarke spit out.  She looked at Lexa, blood racing through her veins. Did she just fucking dare her? She heard a dare, she was sure of it.

“You want great, you want great,” she hooked her fingers through Lexa’s belt loops and yanked her forward, “I’ll show you great,” and her lips latched onto Lexa’s and her tongue pushed its way into her mouth, battering Lexa’s tongue, chasing it around her mouth, grabbing her gum back. She pushed her whole body against her, sending them both back a couple steps and into the trash can, which couldn’t withstand the onslaught and toppled over to the floor. The wall stopped their progress, as Clarke pinned Lexa against it, her shoulder knocking against a picture sending it down to the ground. Clarke purposefully made a point to grind her breasts into Lexa’s chest, knowing how preoccupied the brunette was by them. The trick worked as Lexa whimpered softly, over and over again. Clarke broke it off, stepped back to put a little distance between them, “Now, tell me that wasn’t great.”

Lexa was breathing heavily, her lips swollen. It took her a few seconds to answer Clarke. “I’ve had better.” She could lie just as well as Clarke.

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “What?” Clarke’s heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to burst out of her chest, in fact, she was sure it had to be visibly beating through her shirt.

Lexa raised her chin a little, her breath still uneven. “I’ve had better.”

Suddenly the ante was upped in this little kissing contest. And there was no way Clarke wasn’t going to win. “I can do better,” Clarke said nodding her head, the competitive juices flowing, “I know I can do better.”

“Prove it, let’s go,” and Lexa waved her on with her fingers, with those long sexy fingers, her eyes dark now. Everything about her positively egging Clarke on. “Show me what you got, Clarke.”

Clarke growled, she actually growled, and she came in again, tangling her hands in Lexa’s hair, knocking her baseball hat off, pushing her into the other wall and knocking into the paper towel dispenser, loosening a bunch from underneath, causing a cascade of Kleenex one-ply multi-folds to pile up on the floor. As their mouths melded together, Clarke’s tongue traced Lexa’s bottom lip, and then she sucked it into her mouth.

Lexa’s whole body quivered. She grabbed Clarke’s ass and pulled it up and in, creating a little unexpected friction between them, and they both groaned. Lexa’s hips twitched into Clarke’s, as a hot, little jolt of desire shot through her lower belly.

They broke apart, and Clarke looked triumphant. “Take that,” she said, poking her finger into Lexa’s chest. She reached down and gave a quick tug to her shorts, which for some reason seemed stuck to her crotch.

Lexa’s eyes were heavy lidded, and she may have swayed a bit, but she wasn’t ready to concede. “Pphhtt. You think that was better? Really? I feel sorry for you, if you thought that was better,” and she reached out and grabbed Clarke’s neck again, and hit her with an open mouth kiss that would have dropped any ordinary woman.

But Clarke Griffin was no ordinary woman, not when there was a dare involved, so she stayed upright, sucking on Lexa’s tongue that was so deep in her mouth she actually had to search for it.

Now the game was on, as each was exerting their will on the other, each setting out to prove their prowess as a top-notch kisser. Their bodies strained together in constant motion, moving in sync around the small confines of the bathroom, like two teenagers groping on a dance floor, swaying to music. If objects weren’t bolted to the floor they were upended or knocked off kilter. The table by the door ended up rolling under one stall.

Hands began to get minds of their own, wandering over heaving body parts, knees trapped between legs, hips grinding, lips locked together. They slammed into the stall door, crashing right through it. The back of Lexa’s legs hit the toilet and the momentum caused her to take a seat, but not before pulling Clarke down with her and onto her lap. Now she had the blond where she wanted her, in her lap, like her dream. Now if she could just get Clarke’s shirt off.

 

“Oh crap, I meant to get some paper towels in the bathroom so I can eat my orange,” O said.

“You’re so healthy, baby. Beer and oranges,” Raven teased.

“Shut it,” O said, giving her a little shove.

“I’ll run back and get you some,” Raven volunteered. She got up and jogged the thirty yards back to the bathroom, pushed open the door, started to walk in, got an eyeful of Clexa, turned around with her mouth agape, and headed back out before the door could shut. She made her way back to the cart, sat down and looked straight ahead.

“Where’s the paper towels?” Octavia asked as she opened her water bottle to take a sip, feeling the need to stay hydrated. “Babe? What’s going on?” she asked, a concerned look on her face.

“We’re gonna need a bigger bag of popcorn.”

 

Meanwhile, back on the toilet, Clarke had lost all inhibitions, as she invited Lexa’s hands to wander up her shirt, or up her shorts, she lost track of them, they moved around so quickly. And she wanted them everywhere at once. Lexa’s lips had moved down her neck and onto Clarke’s chest by this time, kissing and nipping through her golf shirt, and Clarke was moaning wildly, a couple of “oh god’s” slipped from her lips, as she was transported back to every dream she’d had in the past months. All thoughts of a kissing contest long forgotten as things had escalated almost to a point of no return.

Suddenly, they heard the creak of the door shutting, and they both froze. Somehow, that soft sound penetrated the sexual haze that enveloped them. Lexa slowly peeked around Clarke, and Clarke slowly looked back at the door.

“What was that?” Clarke asked in a hushed tone.

“I don’t know.”

“Did you hear it? Fuck, did someone come in?” Clarke asked in a panicky voice.

Lexa got momentarily distracted when she realized one set of her fingers was pressing on Clarke’s soaked panties, and the other set was ensconced firmly underneath her bra. She was literally touching Clarke’s breast right now. Her bandaged thumb was motionless over her nipple. And she had no idea how that happened. Did they really get this far? Did they get this carried away? She prayed for time to stand still. She just needed a couple more minutes so she could take full advantage of what was in front of her, but she sensed Clarke’s agitation, and she reluctantly pulled her hand out from under Clarke’s shirt, but not before her thumb brushed against her nipple one last time.

Clarke quickly looked down at her, “Really?”

“Sorry, it was a reflex.” She quickly slipped the other hand out from the panty zone.

“You and your reflexes.”

Clarke was flustered. She stood up, and adjusted her clothing. “We better get out of here, let’s go, they’re gonna be asking questions, I just know it,” she mumbled as she made her way towards the door, already trying to formulate excuses in her head.

Lexa got up slowly, legs feeling heavy, still in a daze. She took stock of the bathroom as she left, it looked like a small bomb went off. Maybe she should tidy up.

“Hurry up, they’re gonna wonder what took us so long,” Clarke called out to her as she rushed to the golf cart.

Lexa came out of the bathroom, moving as quickly as her quaking legs could take her.

“C’mon, let’s go.” Clarke felt the urgent need to put as much distance as possible between them and the bathroom. Hoping to leave whatever happened in there far behind. She took her seat in the cart, impatiently waiting for Lexa.

Lexa sat down heavily, and just stared at her. She needed to process. “Well that escalated quickly,” she said.

Clarke brushed some imaginary dirt off her shorts, “Perhaps we got a little carried away.” She waved her hand, “Let’s go.”

“I think we can put that argument to bed.”

“What argument? C’mon, drive.”

“Who’s the better kisser. I mean, I know I make women weak in the knees and all, but Jesus.”

Clarke jammed on the brakes in her head, and all thoughts of rushing off came to a screeching halt. “Oh, so you think it was your kiss that caused the escalation?”

“Absolutely.”

“My, my, my, that oversized ego of yours strikes again.” She looked at Lexa, her baby blues a blazin’. “It was clearly my kiss. It was my last kiss that sent us over the edge.”

Lexa slowly shook her head from side to side, “Nope, don’t think so Clarke.”

“I sat down in your lap, and you were a goner,” Clarke gloated.

“That’s not what happened. I pulled you onto my lap, and _you_ were the goner.”

They heard a shrill whistle from the next tee box. Octavia could stop a cab three blocks away with that whistle. The girls were standing, just staring back at them, hands on their hips. Raven gave an impatient wave.

Clarke sighed. “You’re unbelievable. We should get going, they’re probably freaking out, wondering why we’re taking so long.”

Lexa refused to budge, staring at Clarke.

“What? They’re waiting, we need to go.”

“Not until you admit that I’m a good kisser.”

“Oh my god, you wanna do this now?”

“I can sit here all day, Clarke.”

“In the interest of moving this along, let’s call a truce, how’s that? We both admit that the other is a good kisser. I’ll go first, I admit it, yes, you’re a good kisser.”

“So, you’re retracting your earlier statement?”

“Yes, it’s retracted. And replaced with, you kiss pretty damn good.”

The corner of Lexa’s lip turned up a little bit, a small smile playing around her lips. “Okay, my turn, yes, you are also a good kisser, a very good kisser.”

“Should we shake on it? The truce?” Clarke asked.

Lexa reached out, took Clarke’s hand and gave a soft shake. “Truce.”

“Alright. Let’s go, I think Raven is already suspicious. That little snake tale of yours will haunt me ‘til my dying day. We’re not telling anybody about any of this, right?”

“No…” Lexa said emphatically, then, hesitated, “well…” as she hit the gas on the cart.

“Well, what?” Clarke asked.

“Luna and Anya know.”

“Know what?”

“That we kissed.”

“What?! How did that happen?”

“Luna dragged it out of me.”

Clarke folded her arms and looked skeptical. “Luna dragged it out of you.”

“She’s really good, she’s like a super cop and shit.”

“A _super_ cop.” Clarke’s voice was positively dripping with sarcasm.

“Yes.”

“Is she your super cop ex?”

“My god no, what made you think she’s my ex?”

“She was really hanging all over you.”

“Oh, you noticed that, did you?”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Anybody who wasn’t blind would’ve noticed that.”

“You sound jealous.”

“What? Jealous? Of what? I don’t think so.”

“Uh, maybe a little,” Lexa said with her signature smirk.

As they pulled up to the next hole and parked behind Raven and O, Clarke whispered, “Let’s table this discussion, shall we?”

Lexa gave a quick nod of her head.

Raven stood on the tee box, her arms crossed, the cigar she stole off of Finn’s group hanging from her mouth, tapping her toe, eyeing the two of them up and down. “Well, well, well, look who decided to join us. The snake charmers. We had to let two groups play through because you weren’t here.”

Lexa and Clarke remained mum.

“What happened back there? Hm? Code brown? Did someone have a code brown?”

Lexa looked at Clarke, “What’s a code brown?”

“Don’t ask,” Clarke said under her breath. She directed her attention back to Raven, “There was no code brown.”

“Ah,” Raven said as she slowly nodded her head. “Funny, I think I heard that snake of yours Clarke, hissing around the bathroom. You didn’t happen to run into it again too, did you?”

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek, “Snake? No. What snake? I highly doubt it would be the same snake. Unless, he was, like a super snake, and made it all the way over here from that other hole. Which is pretty far away. So, I doubt it, right?”

Octavia knew this wasn’t the time or place to discuss snakes and hissing. “Let’s go before another group comes up. Babe, concentrate, we got a chance to beat Bell’s group, let’s send one out there.”

Lexa looked at the scorecard, “Okay, Reyes, no water here, give it a ride, girl.” She hopped out of the cart to get everyone moving, and to divert attention away from slithering reptiles.

The mere mention of beating Bell’s group, coupled with an upcoming non-water hole was enough to get Raven to stop questioning Clarke. She took the big dog up to the tee box.

“It looks pretty wide open,” Clarke said from the safety of her golf cart.

Raven nodded her head in agreement. She bent down, teed up her ball, and squinted down the fairway, cigar hanging on her lip. It did look really wide. Or she was seeing double, or triple. How many beers did she have? There was quite a bit of racket coming from the right, over by the clubhouse. It sounded like a hundred kids laughing and carrying on. “What the fuck is all that noise? I’m trying to hit a shot here.”

Clarke looked over in the direction of the commotion. “Oh, that’s the pool.”  

O groaned quietly to Clarke and Lexa, “You didn’t say pool, did you?” she asked softly. She didn’t want Raven to picture anything wet when she was hitting her ball.

Clarke looked at O, “What? It’s a pool for god’s sake,” she whispered. “It’s like, nowhere near us.” It was at least a couple hundred yards off to the right. There was a tall privacy fence bordering the fairway, and then, somewhere beyond that, was the pool in question.

The din was non-stop, so Raven tried to block it out. They all watched as she put her cigar down on the ground. She tried to swing with it in her mouth years ago, and started a small fire on her sleeve. Which O was quick to douse with beer. Having learned her lesson, she always placed it on the ground before taking her shot. She still had that shirt hanging in her closet. It was like a badge of honor or something. She liked to bring it out at parties and brag about the time she hit a perfect tee shot while on fire. “While literally on fire,” was always added to the end of the story.

“Okay, ladies, watch and learn.” She took the club back and swung as hard as she could on six beers.

They all watched the ball soar perfectly over the privacy fence, heading straight for the you know what.

“Holy shit, I think it’s in the…” pool was spoken at the same time shrieks and screams came from the vicinity of the earlier revelry.  

“Oh fuck, she put it in the pool,” Lexa said with admiration. That shot traveled a long distance. Perhaps the longest shot of the day, eclipsing the osprey moment on the tenth hole.

Soon the screaming stopped and laughter started up again, and the foursome was relieved that it sounded as if nobody had gotten hurt. Raven, who was just staring after her shot turned to the group, “Isn’t that a free drop, since it’s a man-made structure?”

Clarke was quick to answer, “I think that rule applies to things that are actually on the golf course.”

They scattered up the fairway to pick up all the errant tee shots. They were waiting to hit their second shot when Octavia came walking up to Clarke and Lexa.

“Did you see Raven? She’s gone missing.”

Lexa looked around, “Nope, I thought she was with you.”

“She said she had to pee again.”

Clarke looked over towards the trees and spotted some kernels on the ground. “I’m sure if you just follow the trail of popcorn, you’ll find her,” Clarke said.

They heard a squeal from the woods and out popped Raven, running towards them. “Jesus Christ, there was a goddamn snake in there. Probably a rattlesnake.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Oh my god, you’re not gonna let that go, are you?”

“It was a snake, Clarke.”

“Oh please.”

“I’m not lying Clarke, I’m not. You don’t believe me? Okay, C’mon, I’ll show you.” She did not wanna risk being known as the boy who cried wolf, or in this instance, the girl who cried snake. She grabbed Clarke’s hand and led her into the woods, with O and Lexa in hot pursuit.

“I peed over here, don’t step in it, but he was under that bush, there, there!! There he is!”

“Fuck!” Octavia screamed as she bolted back to the fairway. She always had an unhealthy fear of snakes, ever since Bellamy placed a toy snake in their toilet bowl when she was little.

“Shit,” Clarke shouted and she did the first thing that came to her mind, she jumped on Lexa’s back, who caught her legs and held onto her, all the while slowly backing up from the reptile in question.

Raven peered at the snake, “Huh, now that I’m looking at it, I think it’s just a garter snake.”

Lexa looked closer, “Yeah, we don’t have rattlesnakes around here, so I think we’re safe. Clarke? As much as I’m enjoying this little cuddle session, I think you can get down now.”

Clarke gazed down from her perch and looked at the green snake, he really wasn’t that big, she thought. She hesitated, she was kind of enjoying her current predicament, Lexa smelled good from up here. Must be her shampoo. She reluctantly let go and slid down.

They piled back into their carts and continued on their way. The last few holes were uneventful, no near misses, no more snakes, a few watch the fuck outs, and much to Raven’s disappointment, no more popcorn moments.

Finally, after five and half hours, the girls pulled away from their last green.

“We can shower and change in the ladies’ locker room,” Clarke said.

“What did we end up with?” O asked.

“Nine under, baby!” Raven said.

“Oh my god,” Clarke said with wonder, “we have an actual negative number.”

“Thanks to this one,” Raven said as she grabbed Lexa around the shoulders and gave her a hug as they made their way into the locker room.

“My buzz is gone,” O said sadly, as she placed her bag on the bench outside one of the shower stalls.

“Mine too, baby. The cart lady totally abandoned us for the last five holes.”

“Thank god,” said a partially sober Clarke. “I have to socialize with a bunch of bigwigs. And apologize to Dr. Kentman.”

“Kenny and I are tight,” Raven said. “Want me to talk to him?”

“No! God no.”

“Maybe he was too drunk to remember,” Raven offered.

“He’s like, eighty I think.”

“What? Eighty-year-olds don’t get drunk? Where’s my towel babe?”

Lexa looked at the stalls in front of them. “There’s only three showers, so I can wait,” Lexa volunteered.

All four ladies stared at the three shower stalls.

“My girl and I can share, unless you two wanna share,” Raven said, looking back and forth between Clexa.

Clarke and Lexa immediately began stumbling over each other’s sentences. “What? Why would we share?”  “We can’t share.” “That’s ridiculous.” “I barely know her.” “That is so not happening.” “Why would you suggest that?” “Crazy talk, there.” “Can you imagine us showering together?” “We’d probably kill each other.”

Raven waited until they were finished. “I was just kidding.”

“Oh, okay.” “Gotcha, that was funny.” “I thought you were serious.” “That _was_ funny.” “Can you imagine?” “So funny.” “We don’t even like each other.” “Then boom, we’re showering together?” “So weird.” “Really weird.” “Would be so strange.” “Yeah, no.”

Raven gave pause, making sure they were finished. “Okay, so, Octavia and I will take this stall here, and you two herpetologists each can have your own shower.” Raven and O went into their respective stall.

Lexa looked at Clarke and asked softly, “What did she call us?”

“I think it has something to do with snakes,” Clarke said with an eye roll. “We’re busted.”

When Lexa was done with her shower she pulled the first curtain back and realized that she left her towel on the bench outside the second curtain. She listened for the other girls. She had heard O and Raven giggling and walking out to the sink area. She cocked her ear towards Clarke’s shower and didn’t hear the water running. She probably was done also. She pulled the second curtain back and walked out to get the towel at the exact same moment Clarke came out of her stall. Clarke was wrapped in her towel. Lexa was butt naked.

“Oh my god,” Clarke said, putting a hand up to cover her eyes. “I’m sorry, god, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Clarke, I thought you guys were all done.” One thing Lexa was not, was modest. She started to dry herself off, unmindful of Clarke’s presence.

Clarke felt the urge to peek through her fingers. And she did. She may have looked longer than necessary. “Ah, I’ll just go find my clothes.” She turned and walked back to the locker area where her outfit was hanging. That was one image that would remain forever burned into her brain. She might want to stay in the spare bedroom tonight, no telling what she’d be calling out in her sleep.

After getting dressed, the girls headed to the ballroom for dinner. Lexa couldn’t stop staring at Clarke, who had on a tight, black skirt that ended at the top of her knees. A simple, white, long-sleeved blouse completed the sleek, sophisticated look. She left the top three buttons undone, which showed off a good amount of cleavage. A string of choker pearls adorned her graceful neck and rested on her pulse point, the very same pulse point that Lexa’s lips had rested on this afternoon. She knew she’d have to make a conscious effort to look at other things tonight.

They made it to their table and joined Finn’s group, who were already seated.

“Ladies,” Bellamy said with a slight nod. “What did we end up with this year?”

Raven tossed the spare scorecard down in front of him, “Read it and weep, losers.

Bell glanced at the score, and Raven saw a little flush make its way to his cheeks. “Nine under? No way. No way.”

“You couldn’t have been nine under,” Finn said. “I don’t believe it.”

“Oh, believe it,” Raven said with a little attitude.

“What did you losers do?” Octavia asked.

Bell sputtered a little, “We were six under.”

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Raven asked.

“Six under.”

“Oh, so sorry. Get ready to pony up some dough when we hit the Met Grill, filet mignon all around is what I’m thinking. And champagne. I tend to like champagne when I eat steak.”

“You do?” O said.

“I do now. And dessert. I’m thinking...what’s the most expensive dessert on the menu, babe?”

“That would be the nine-layer chocolate cake at sixteen dollars a slice.”

“Ca-ching! Slices all around. I need two pieces, because I like to have a spare for later.”

“That’s like, almost a hundred dollars’ worth of dessert,” Bellamy stated.

“Oh, that’s just the first course of dessert.”

“The first course?”

“Yes. We get three courses of desserts, is what I’m thinking.”

While Bell and Raven went back and forth about how one could or could not possibly eat three desserts in one sitting, Finn leaned into Clarke, “Hey babe, I’m gonna go check out the silent auction items, see if there’s anything good up there.”

“Okay, maybe we can win a trip again like last year,” Clarke said.

“Hold on Finn, I wanna go look, too,” O said.

Lexa needed a distraction, “I’ll go too.”

Clarke watched as the trio walked away. She admired Lexa’s outfit. Who knew the masculine look of a vest over a dress shirt could be so devastatingly feminine. Her eyes trailed down and landed on Lexa’s ass as she sauntered up the aisle, towards the front of room. Shouldn’t she be watching Finn’s ass, she asked herself? Nah, she’s seen that enough. Now Lexa’s ass in tight-fitting dress slacks? That’s something to see. She caught herself biting her bottom lip. God, get a hold of yourself, Clarke. She knew this had to be a de-infatuation step, no ass staring, Probably number three or four. She’d already failed number one, in a big way.

She continued to stare, her eyes locked in on the brunette. She never realized how graceful Lexa was, so tall and lithe. She watched as Lexa chatted with an older woman who was standing in front of the auction items. Lexa’s face was animated and the way she smiled at the woman warmed Clarke’s heart. She really had a wonderful smile. Why didn’t she notice that before? Because noticing that was a rabbit hole that she couldn’t go down. Clarke was startled out of her thoughts by Murphy, who placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned into her ear. “Can I get you a drink, beautiful?”

“No thanks, I’m fine.”

“How’s your back, Murph?” Raven asked.

“It’s fine, thanks for asking. Next time try yelling fore.”

“Clarke yelled watch the fuck out, didn’t you hear her?”

“No, I didn’t.”

After Murphy left, Raven stared after him. “He seems a bit agitated.”

“Guess he didn’t appreciate your shot,” Clarke said.

“Fuck him. He totally was checking out your boobs by the way.”

“He always does. He’s disgusting,” Clarke said quietly, as Finn, Octavia, and Lexa returned to the table.

“Last call before we eat, who wants another drink?” Raven asked.

“I’m good,” Clarke said, “how about you?” she asked Finn.

“I’m good, thank you,” he replied.

“Bellaturd? You good?”

Bellamy directed a bit of a dirty look at her. “I think you’re a sore winner, if that’s possible.”

“Oh, I’m sure of it,” Raven said proudly. “Let’s just say it’s payback for the years of abuse you dickwads put us through for finishing last all the time. You need anything or what?”

“No, I’m good, thanks for asking,” he said begrudgingly.

“Baby?” Raven looked at O.

“Rum and coke, thank you.”

Raven looked at Lexa.

“I’ll go with you,” Lexa said.

“We’ll be right back.”

Lexa and Raven headed to the bar to get another round. They sat on stools as they waited for their drinks. From their position, they could overhear John Murphy talking to a few other doctors.

“Did you see what Clarke has on tonight, shit, I’d like to tap that.”

“Collins is a lucky man.”

“Yeah, he gets to touch those tits every night, right?” Murphy said.

Lexa felt her blood start to boil, as she narrowed her eyes and started to get up off the stool.

Raven reached out and put a hand on her shoulder, “Easy girl, take it easy.”

“He’s a fucking pig, and I swear to god, I’m gonna punch his lights out.”

“It’s kinda cute that you wanna protect her honor.”

Lexa was a little embarrassed. “I’d do it for you, too,” she said as she looked back at the group of men.

“Awe, that’s sweet, but I doubt it,” Raven said under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Once again Murphy’s voice floated over to them, “That ass is grade A also.”

Lexa closed her eyes and tried counting to ten.

“If she were mine I’d fuck her five times a day, that body is made for fucking.”

Raven shot an angry look over at the group, “Okay, that bastard needs to be popped in the mouth.”

Lexa was equally fed up, and her eyes silently pleaded with Raven.

“Go. Take that fuckass down.”

Lexa smiled, got up with her drink, purse tucked under her arm, and sauntered over to the group. It was time to shut this guy’s mouth, but in a way as to not get Clarke in any kind of hot water.

Murphy spotted her immediately, since he was always on the prowl for a beautiful woman. He reached out and grabbed her elbow to bring her into the group.

“Lexa, is it? You have a beautiful swing, I was watching you out there today.”

Lexa plotted out her course of action, thinking three moves ahead. First move, pretend to be coy. “Oh, thank you so much, Dr. Murphy. I’m glad I caught your eye,” she said suggestively.

Murphy’s eyes got a little wider as her gave her the once over. “Oh, you caught more than my eye,” he grinned, the rest of the group chuckling at his comment. He reached out and touched her thumb, “What happened here, it looks painful.”

“Oh, just a minor cut, nothing to be concerned about.”

“Do you need me to check it out for you? I know someplace quiet where we won’t be disturbed.”

Number two, make this shithead think he matters. “Oh, my goodness,” Lexa grasped his forearm, forcing out a small laugh, “it’s so sweet of you to be concerned, but I think it’s okay. Maybe another time,” and she casually dropped her purse on the floor, the contents scattering around everyone’s feet.

“Oh my god,” she said as she bent over and started picking things up and stuffing them back in. “I’m so clumsy sometimes.”

“Here, let me help you with that, you might hurt that thumb again,” Murphy said as he bent down to join her near the floor. The other guys also bent down to the ground to help. Each grabbing things and stuffing them back into her purse.

Number three, make him pay a price for the things he said about Clarke. Lexa grabbed her keys at the same time someone else did, and they got into a little tug of war. “Oh, I’ve got them,” she said as she yanked them back with much more force than needed, and the momentum caused Lexa’s elbow to fly backwards, connecting perfectly with John Murphy’s nose, breaking it on impact.

“Oooowww,” he cried out, stumbling backwards, his backside landing heavily on the ground, grabbing at his nose as blood gushed forth.

Lexa turned around, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she said. “Is there a doctor in the house?” she called out.

Raven witnessed the whole thing and almost fell off her bar stool laughing.

Lexa pulled a tampon out of her now re-filled purse, “Here, will this help? Isn’t this what athletes use?” she asked as she unwrapped it and tried to shove it up Murphy’s nose, none too gently, which only led to more moaning from Murphy.

“Ouch, owww no, don’t do that,” he groaned.

“Wait, aren’t you supposed to pinch the bridge of your nose when it’s bleeding?” and Lexa pinched his nose, which caused more blood to pour out, and more painful moaning from Murphy. “No, maybe it’s ice, you’re supposed to put ice on it,” and she reached into one of his friend’s glasses and pulled out a couple ice cubes and smacked them on Murphy’s crooked nose.

“Oh my god,” he wailed.

Raven couldn’t resist, so she hopped off her stool, and joined in the fun, “Aren’t you supposed to put your head down between your knees?” and she shoved his head down, hard enough to bang it on the floor. “Oh shit, who put the ground there?” Raven said, feigning innocence.  

“Oww!” Murphy was groggy now, from a possible concussion. His eyes rolled up and then the lids slammed shut.

“Oh god. Don’t pass out, if you have a concussion you have to stay awake,” and Lexa threw her drink in his face.

“Shit yeah,” Raven said as she hopped up, took a pitcher of water from the bar and threw the whole thing on an unsuspecting Murphy. “WAKE THE FUCK UP!” she screamed in his face, trying to be helpful.

He sputtered and howled, the alcohol burning his bloody nose, the icy water leaking down his pants.

His friends finally came to his rescue as the girls got up and walked away.

“Tragic situation, could be disfiguring,” Lexa said.

“Good thing he’s in plastic surgery,” Raven replied.

They made it back to the table in time for their salad.

“What was going on over there?” Finn asked.

“Lexa broke Murphy’s nose,” Raven said casually, sipping her beverage.

Clarke’s eyes popped open. “What?” She looked at Lexa.

Lexa winked at her. “It was an accident.”

Clarke put her hand up to her mouth to hide her smile.

Murphy eventually made it back to the table just as the dessert was being served, cotton shoved up his nose, his tie askew, blood stains on his shirt.

Bellamy clapped him on the back, “You okay, buddy?”

“You need me to take a look at that?” Finn asked.

“No, I’m good, I’m good,” he said, the stuffiness from his nose making his voice muffled.

Octavia glanced over and looked at the mess that was John Murphy. “That’s abhorrent.”

“Fucking word of the day!” Raven said as she started the group high five.

A few minutes later, Dr. Kentman was at the microphone, ready to announce the winners. But before he did that, he discussed the many wonderful things that were happening now in cancer research. He then thanked the various sponsors of the event.

“Do you think we placed?” Octavia asked the group.

“Doesn’t matter, babe, we beat these tools,” Raven said.

All attention turned back to Dr. Kentman, as he began to announce the winning groups. “Before I announce the winners, the club would like to know if anyone saw anything or anybody suspicious around the ladies’ restroom that sits by the thirteenth hole. Evidently it was vandalized. Ladies? Did any of you notice anything strange?”

Raven and O raised their eyebrows and looked at Clarke and Lexa.

Raven cleared her throat, “What condition was the bathroom in when you two birds were in there?”

“It was fine,” Clarke said as she looked the other way, taking a healthy mouthful of gin and tonic.

Lexa looked off into the other direction, “I didn’t see anything amiss.”

“Maybe that snake made it in there, messed some shit up.”

“Probably, I’m pretty sure that’s probably what happened,” Lexa said. And got a glare from Clarke for her troubles.

Dr. Kentman was continuing, “We’ll start with fourth place. This year, fourth place goes to the group of Clarke Griffin, Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake, and Lexa Woods, coming in at nine under par. Congratulations ladies, please come up for your prizes.”

Raven whooped and put her arms in the air as the group got up to receive their gifts. When they made it to the podium, she grabbed the mic from Dr. Kentman.

“I’d just like to thank…”

Clarke quickly leaned into Raven’s ear, “I don’t think we’re supposed to give a speech.”

Raven looked at her, not putting her hand over the open mic, “What the fuck, why can’t I give a speech?”

Clarke turned six shades of red. Dr. Kentman cleared his throat and tried to take the mic back, but Raven pulled her hand away, she leaned casually on the podium. “I’d just like to thank my teammates, I think we all contributed something today. And, Kenny, sorry about almost hitting you on that green, dude. But that shot went a long, fucking way. Amirite?” She winked and finger gunned him.

Dr. Kentman then tried to wrestle the mic out of Raven’s hands, and a small tussle ensued. Clarke intervened and managed to almost pry it out of her hands.

“Alright, calm the fuck down,” Raven said as she loosened her grip. Both Dr. Kentman and Clarke thought they had freed the microphone, and they relaxed, long enough for Raven to grab it back and quickly say, “Drinks on Murphy.” And with that, she raised her hand in the air and dropped the mic, which caused an ear deafening screech of audio feedback to reverberate around the room.

Everyone covered their ears and cringed. Some cried out. Drinks were spilled. A set of dentures dropped on a salad plate. Dr. Kentman, who had been battling an inner ear infection all week, teetered and tottered, and eventually face planted next to the podium.

“What the fuck?” Bellaturd hollered.

Phil’s Old Fashion landed in Murphy’s lap, much to his chagrin. It joined Raven’s water and Lexa’s Dirty Martini. He furiously tried to pat his boss’s lap dry. Accidentally touching his family jewels in the process. Murphy glared at him, grabbed his hands, pulled the napkin from him, and tried to sop up the excess liquid.

Raven stepped over Kenny to lie on the floor and put her mouth next to the mic, and said in a deep voice, “The drinks are literally _on_ Murphy.”

Clarke was mortified. She reached down and yanked Raven up, steering her back down the aisle.  

“I always wanted to do that, drop the mic,” Raven said proudly, seemingly unaware of the auditory destruction she wrought.

“Booya, bitches! Drinks on Murphy!” O shouted as she turned back to her girlfriend, and they executed another perfect chest bump, the second one of the day.

Lexa thought the whole thing was a hoot and high fived the girls, thinking there was no way they'd be invited back after this debacle.  

The girl’s exhilaration was not shared when they returned to the table. Bellamy was scowling, his finger still in his ear, checking for damage. Finn’s mopey expression matched his mopey hair, as his recent fondling of his boss’s junk left him scarred for life, and probably headed for a demotion. Murphy was in the men’s room using the hand dryer on his cotton briefs.

“Well, that was fun,” Raven said as she sat down and looked at the Brothers Grimm.

Lexa raised her glass for a toast, “Ladies, it was a pleasure golfing with you today. Drinks on Murphy!”

Raven and O exchanged a glance. “ _Literally_ on Murphy!” they cackled.

“Here, here!” Lexa and Clarke called out.

The boys were not amused.

After all the winning groups picked up their prizes, they began to pick the winners for the silent auction.

“Did you bid on anything?” Clarke asked Finn.

He leaned in and gave her a lingering kiss on the lips. “I did babe, something for you.”

“Really? Thank you.”

Lexa’s eyes were barely off Clarke all night, so she witnessed the kiss, and tried not to be bothered by it. They were engaged after all. They were going to be married. It’s not like she had some sort of claim on Clarke because they kissed and groped each other. She shouldn’t be bothered. It shouldn’t affect her. At all. But it did. How she could feel possessive and so protective of one Clarke Griffin was a mystery. My god, she barely knew her.

“Our next item up for bid is six free private dog training lessons, courtesy of Lexa Woods, certified dog trainer.”

The whole table turned to Lexa, who just smiled and shrugged. Earlier, she had talked to the woman who was in charge of the auction items, and since it was such a worthy cause, Lexa volunteered her services.

“And the winner of the bid is...Finn Collins.”

And now the group turned and stared at Finn. The color drained from Clarke’s face and her mouth dropped open. Finn wrapped his arm around her and squeezed, “I got them for you babe, you always said you wished Oliver would behave better, and that you wanted to learn how to train him. Well, now maybe Lexa can help you.” He got up and went to pick up his prize.

Raven and O exchanged a long knowing look. O leaned into Raven’s ear, “Babe, ain’t enough popcorn in the world, know what I mean?”

Raven looked at her “I love you baby,” and they started making out at the table.

Meanwhile, Clarke was having a mini mental meltdown. She began to think of excuses as to why she didn’t want the prize. Why she should re-gift it. Who she could give it to? Raven and O’s dogs were nuts, maybe they could use it. But then Finn came back to the table, so proud of his surprise. He was all smiles and warmth and feel-goods, and the guilt overwhelmed her. It felt like a fifty-pound weight on her chest. She knew she couldn’t give the lessons away. He would be crushed.

The only thought left in her head was how was she going to survive six private dog lessons with Lexa. She barely survived five hours of golf in public. She felt three sets of eyes on her. She glanced over at Lexa who was smirking. She glanced at Raven, who was eating popcorn, and she glanced at O, who had a shit eating grin on her face. She sighed. So busted.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So these 2 chapters were my homage to playing the game I love. Sorry if it was boring for some. You may wonder how I came up with all the silly things that happened to our girls. Well, I did not have to make anything up, because they all happened to me. I did, in fact, dump the wife out of the golf cart, I did hit a boulder and sail the ball over our heads, I did drive the ball up on a crowded green, I did hit a shot into a resort pool. I have also hit into a four lane road filled with traffic, and watched as my ball some how bounced between cars and made it safely to the other side. My exact words after that trick shot was, “Damn, I liked that ball.”  
> And yes, my balls are always in the water.  
> So this is a good one. The wife and I were invited on this golfing trip, there were almost 40 women on this trip, and it was our first time going. On day one, the whole group lines up on the first tee box. So we were one of the first groups going off. We are the youngest ones there, most of the women are 10 to 20 years older than us. Our reputation had preceded us, we tend to be bombers, we hit it a long way most times. The group, I’m sure, was curious to see the new gals. I tee up my ball, and about 10 feet in front of the tee box, there is a small stream. It was tiny. Like, a moving puddle. I could traverse it with my size 8.5 shoe. Literally, 10 feet in front of us. I shake off the image, stare way out into the fairway, I swing my club and I hit that dorper right into that son of a bitch water. In front of 40 other women. How mother fucking embarrassing is that? I had to walk 10 feet, bend over, pick my ball out of the "puddle," walk back to the tee box, and hit again. Golf can be very humbling.  
> As usual, I love to hear from you guys. Let me know what you thought of the chapter. Tell me funny stories, boring stories, sad stories, whatever.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at the Jordan's. Takes place a couple days after the golf outing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, if you wanna LOL, I suggest you read the previous chapter. Sorry if this isn't a hoot fest. I've been obsessing over it for weeks. I'd like to thank my band of misfit toys for brainstorming (E, Sparrow, Lisam.) Lisam has proven invaluable as she pushes and prods me, and let's me know when things "could be better." I really had intentions of posting just a 5k word chapter. I have no idea how things get away from me (9200 words later.) But, in the future, I do want to make them shorter.  
> Our pictures! I felt very rejected, nobody was sending me anything, it looked to be bust in the pet pic dept., so I begged the great wanheda, my PR guru, for cat pics, sparrow took pity on me and sent me more Leo the sheltie pics, and of course there's always E's Dufus direwolf. But then, last week, Nanoly came through and sent me something! Thank you Nanoly!  
> First up, Wanheda's kitties, Amy and Penny. Most people buy their cats little fluffy beds, these two look to have full size twins. Can you say spoiled?  
> Next is Nanoly's crew, I like the collage format. Very nice touch.  
> Then sparrow's snuggle bunny Leo, airing it out.  
> And lastly, the Dufus. She reminds me of Barry from "The Goldbergs," all dufusy and shit, so I named her gang JTP! After Barry's gang on the show.  
> Enjoy! Send me pet pics if you want via email, cardwire1@aol.com, or the [tumblr](https://lorig11.tumblr.com/).  
> Let's do a theme of pictures, shall we? I wanna see your pets airing it out!! Air out that junk! #belikeleo

 

 

 

 

                           **Matching cat beds**                                 **Amy's batman impersonation**     **Wherever I put my paw is where I'm going to next**

**Nanoly's bunch, top left Jax, then Reese, bottom left Milo, then Otis  
**

**Leo snuggling and airing it out!  
**

**Dufus and the gang of Dufus, JTP!  
**

 

_Twelve-year-old Clarke Griffin walked through the front door to her house, with her Grandma Evelyn in tow. She was chatting excitedly about all the great art work they had just seen at the gallery downtown. “Do you think someday my art will hang in that gallery, Gram Ev?”_

_“I don’t see why not Clarke. You’re talented, and if you work hard, great things will happen for you,” her Grandma replied, leaning down to place a kiss on her granddaughter’s head._

_“Maybe we can go to the art store tomorrow, I need an eighteen-inch canvas. I cut out this sunrise from a magazine, and I want to paint it. I have my own money from babysitting that I can use.”_

_“Absolutely, and don’t forget Christmas is coming up. Make sure you write down anything else you need.”_

_Abby came out of the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready in half an hour. Did you two have fun?” she asked._

_“Mom, I met one of the artists at the gallery. I talked to her about how she got started, and we talked for like, fifteen minutes. And tomorrow Gram and I are going shopping for a canvas.”_

_“That’s great honey, but don’t forget you have that science project due Monday, and you haven’t even started it yet. So, no art shopping tomorrow. You have homework to do. Future doctors do not fail science class. You’re lucky we even let you go to this little art show of yours today.”_

_“But it was cool.”_

_“Art is a hobby, not a career. We’ve had this discussion many times. Now go upstairs honey, and wash up for dinner.”_

_Clarke grabbed her Gram’s hand and they both trudged up the steps to Clarke’s bedroom. She flopped on the bed, threw her arm dramatically over her eyes, and sighed. “They hate art,” she said, her voice tinged with sadness. “They’ll never let me be an artist.”_

_Gram Ev came and sat on the bed with her, and Clarke moved close to lay her head down in her lap. She stroked Clarke’s hair. “My girl, you can be whatever you want to be. The world is your oyster. When you’re old enough, you can make your own decisions about your life. Whether you want to be a doctor, or a painter, or a teacher.”_

_Clarke huffed. “Try telling that to them.”_

_Gram Ev had tried in the past to tell her son to encourage Clarke’s obvious talent for art, but both he and Abby could be stubborn as mules. “I’ll talk to them again.”_

_“Really?”_

_“I will.”_

_“Thank you, Gram,” and Clarke turned into her Gram and wrapped her arms around her waist._

_“You’re welcome, munchkin.”_

_Clarke pulled her head away and looked up at her favorite person in the world. “I don’t wanna be a doctor. It sounds boring. All that medical stuff, I’ll be going to school forever. And hospitals smell.”_

_“Smell? What do they smell like?”_

_“Mediciney. And everything’s always so white looking. There’s never any color. Ugh. What do you really think? Do you think I should be a doctor? Mom and Dad say I’m too smart to not be a doctor. And since they’re doctors, I should be one.” She hid her face in her Gram’s waist again._

_“Well, you are smart as a whip. And being a doctor is a very honorable career.”_

_“Why can’t art be a career?” Clarke asked, her voice muffled._

_“It can be. You can do many things with art. You could paint or draw pictures and sell them. You could teach art. You could be an illustrator...”_

_“Like my picture books?”_

_“Yes, like your picture books.”_

_“I love doing those. I still remember doing my first one. I made it for my friend in the hospital. I had so much fun with her. My friend Lexi.”_

_“See? You could illustrate children’s books. Lots of careers in art, my dear. And who’s this Lexi?”_

_“It was when I was six, a long time ago.”_

_“Six years isn’t that long, munchkin,” Gram said smiling, while she continued to stroke Clarke’s hair._

_“Mom wouldn’t take me to see her after she got out of the hospital. She said it was too far away.” Clarke shrugged her shoulders. “So I never got to see her again.”_

_“Well, maybe someday you’ll meet her, you’ll just run into her someplace, and she’ll have your book.”_

_“Oh Gram, the chances of me seeing her again are, like, never.”_

_Gram Ev gently grabbed Clarke’s chin and gave her a stern look. “Hey, what do I always say?”_

_Clarke playfully rolled her eyes. “Never say never.”_

_She winked at her, “That’s my girl, now wash up, your mom will be calling us for dinner soon.”_

* * *

Clarke was driving to the Jordan’s, and almost missed the turn into their neighborhood. She was too busy admiring the quiet, quaint little streets, filled with modest, simple homes that were scattered about, each with a unique style and architecture. Each its own individual entity. It was an older neighborhood, full of charm and character and stately trees, not like the mini mansions that dominated her area, with their ornate columns, grand entrances, and manicured landscapes. Nothing was ever out of place in her neighborhood. But here, bikes were scattered along driveways, dogs were running in front yards, and kids were playing ball in the streets.

She pulled into their driveway and instantly fell in love with the house in front of her. Charming was the first thought to enter her head. It was a Cape Cod style home, all soft blues and yellows. It looked welcoming. And warm. And lived in. Everything Clarke always secretly wished for. Simplicity at its finest.

She got out of her car, walked along the bluestone pavers to the front door, and rang the doorbell. She was instantly greeted by a smiling Maya.

“Oh my god, you’re here! It’s so good to see you again,” and Clarke was pulled into a warm, tight hug.

Clarke wrapped one arm around Maya, and balanced a covered dish in her free hand. “I brought my world-famous rice pudding for dessert.”

“Oh, Aden loves rice pudding, he’s gonna be so excited, come in, come in. Here, give me your dish, and you can hang your jacket right there in the coat closet.”

Aden came running out to greet them, alerted to Clarke’s arrival by the lights that flashed when the doorbell rang. “Dr. Clarke!” He gave her a big hug.

Clarke looked down at him, she had made a mental note earlier to make sure she spoke while looking at him. “Hey champ! All recovered from your surgery?”

“Yep,” he said, while staring up adoringly.

She gave him an extra squeeze. He was really a cutie pie. He grabbed her hand, and led her down the hallway from the front door to the living room, where a large, sectional, blue couch dominated, facing a flat screen TV that hung over the fireplace . The dining room and living room shared the same space, but the kitchen was closed off, the only visible entrance was from the living room.

Jasper came in from his grill to greet Clarke. “Dr. Clarke,” Jasper said as he hugged and released her. “I have a very important question to ask, before we go any further.”

Clarke put one hand up. “Please, it’s just Clarke. I hear doctor all day long, and when I’m among friends, I prefer not to hear the word doctor. Okay?”

All the Jordans nodded their heads.

“So, what’s the important question, do I have to sit down?”

Jasper’s expression got very serious. “Clarke, the question that I need answered is,” and he paused for effect, “do you eat red meat?”

Clarke started laughing, “Is that the important question? Hell, yeah. I like my steak medium if that’s what you really wanna know.”

Jasper gave a fist pump. Then became serious again. “What are your thoughts on potatoes?”

Clarke mimicked his serious expression. “Potatoes were put on this earth to be slathered in butter and salt and consumed in great quantities.”

Jasper whooped and high fived her. “We’ll get along just fine, Miss Griffin.” And with that he turned to go back outside and worship at his grill.

Clarke turned to Maya, who was smiling, “He’s kinda easy to please, isn’t he?”

“He’s as easy as they come,” Maya said, the love she had for her husband evident in her eyes. “Here, follow me, I’m going to put the rice pudding in the fridge.”

They took the short walk from the living room into the kitchen. “What do you want to drink? We have wine, beer, soda, water?” Maya asked.

“I’ll have a glass of wine, whatever you have opened,” Clarke said. She leaned against the counter, and looked around with appreciation at the eclectic style of the small galley kitchen. The cabinets had shaker style doors, the top row painted a colonial blue, and the base ones stained a honey brown. There was a back entrance to the kitchen that led out to the deck. She could see the smoke from the grill billowing in the air.

“Cabernet okay?” Maya asked.

“That’s perfect.”

As the girls continued their conversation in the kitchen, the doorbell rang again, flashing the lights.

“I’ll get it,” Aden called out.

 

Lexa felt the stress of the day leaving her body as she drove her motorcycle to the Jordan’s for dinner. A nice, normal dinner was exactly what the doctor ordered. Shit. No doctors! No blonde doctors. It had been three days of unwanted fantasies since the kiss. Or really, kisses. Hard to believe there had been more than one. The first being last Saturday night at the party. In Raven and O’s bathroom. The second one the next day at the golf outing. Also in a bathroom. Was she developing a bathroom fetish? She made a mental note to keep away from bathrooms when Clarke was around. How many times did they kiss? She’d lost count. She needed to get a hold of herself. Whatever this was between them, was a mystery that did not need to be solved.

She banished all thoughts of Dr. Griffin from her mind, and turned her attention to tonight. She wondered if maybe this was another set up by Maya. Another attempt to find her the woman of her dreams. It would be perfect timing, just the thing to snap her out of her Clarke fantasies. Costia was going to be away for a few weeks, and the conversation they had last night had a bit of finality to it. Evidently, she didn’t like the way Lexa was looking at Clarke during Raven’s party. So, if Maya was fixing her up, that would be fine. Lexa briefly flashed back to the last blind date at the Jordan’s, and the promise that was made at the end of the evening. Maya’s promise. That the next time Lexa had dinner there, she would meet the one. The _one_. As if such a thing existed.

She parked behind a familiar-looking car in the driveway, but couldn’t place where she’d seen it before. Someone else was definitely here. She felt a little pulse of excitement course through her veins. A feeling of anticipation swelled in her chest. Is she about to witness fate? Is her destiny on the other side of that door? She cursed herself. Shut the hell up Lexa, shit does not happen like that.

She pressed the doorbell, and then walked in as usual.

Aden came running down the hallway to greet her.

“Hey dorko, brownies are here,” she said as he gave her a quick hug.

He grabbed the brownie tray and lowered it, sticking his hand underneath the aluminum foil to steal one away.

“Hey, that’s dessert.” She tried to look perturbed. She missed badly. “Where’s mine?” she asked with a mischievous smile.

He reached in and pulled one out for her too, “Here dink. You taking me for a ride after dinner?”

“Yeah, I brought the extra helmet. So, little dude, is someone else here?” Lexa asked, shucking off her leather jacket and hanging it in the hall closet.

“You’ll see,” he said as he pulled her along the hallway.

Maya and Clarke walked into the living room at the exact time Lexa and Aden came in.

Maya’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Lexa? Wha...what are you doing here?”

Lexa took a second to answer, because her eyes were locked on the blue ones across the room. Clarke was the first to look away, breaking the connection. Lexa glanced back at Maya. “Ah, I was invited?”

“How...when...who?” Maya stammered. Clearly, she had no idea Lexa was coming. She turned to look at Aden at the exact moment that Lexa did.

Aden was all smiles, enjoying the awkwardness of the adults in the room. “You invited your friend, so I invited mine,” he said to his mom, signing and speaking.

Maya was embarrassed to be caught so unprepared. “Uh, okay kiddo, but how about we give mom a head’s up next time.” She turned to both Clarke and Lexa. “I’m sorry, I had no idea.”

“It’s fine,” Lexa said. “Right Clarke?”

“I’m good, yep, it’s totally fine.” Clarke tried to sound casual. But her insides started to churn. She had left her de-infatuation playbook at home. She had not prepared for this. An evening with her kissing nemesis. Work was a disaster today with emergencies, and now this. Not her day at all.

Jasper was the last to join the party. “Steaks are on and looking fabulous, potatoes are buttered and crisping, in other words, dinner will be ready soon, did anyone…” He stopped when he noticed Lexa in the living room. “Lex?”

“Jasper?” Lexa asked playfully, enjoying his confusion.

He looked back and forth between Clarke and Lexa. “Huh. Did I forget who was on the guest list?”

“No, it seems our son took it upon himself to invite Lexa, which is fine, we’ll just set another place at the table. We’re all friends here, right?” Maya asked hopefully, giving Lexa her hug hello, and taking the brownies, “I’ll put these in the kitchen for later.”

Jasper looked down at Aden, “Well, buddy, next time let your old man know. But we’re in luck, because I just threw the steaks on the barbie, so we’ll just slap another one on there. Now, help me get another place setting.”

“Sure dad.” And as Aden followed his dad out of the room they shared a subtle fist bump that went unnoticed by those remaining in the living room. His dad was on to him, and approved.

“Lexa? Beer?” Maya asked, her matchmaking wheels starting to turn, she had to alert Raven immediately. She needed advice. Oh god, this was big. And unexpected.

“That would be great, thank you.”

“Be right back!” Maya shouted.

Clarke looked at Lexa. “She seems excited.”

Lexa just shrugged her shoulders.

 

When Maya hit the kitchen she quickly took out her phone to fire off a text to Raven. _“Operation popcorn! Operation popcorn is live at our house right now!!!!”_

The response was immediate. _“WTF? how did that happen?”_

 _“Don’t ask, total surprise. Let’s just say that my son is cleverer than I knew. And, somehow, someway, Clexa is in the house.”_ Raven had shared her nickname for the girls a couple weeks ago.

Maya almost dropped her phone when the ringtone blared. It was Raven, Facetiming her. She looked around for cover. She spotted the pantry closet, opened the door and wedged herself in. It was smaller than a phone booth, but she managed to shut the door with one foot resting on a box of soda cans. “Hello?”

“Well, fuck girl, you gotta lot going on over there,” Raven said. She turned her face away from the screen and yelled, “Babe, popcorn. Now!” She looked back at Maya, then looked off screen again, “Please! Meant to say please, babe.”

Maya was all jittery, hands shaking, her brow furrowed in a knot. “I know! My god, what do I do?”

“Well first, calm the fuck down.”

“Okay, I can try.” A box of stuffing fell from the top shelf and hit her in the head. “Ow.”

“Where are you?”

“In the pantry closet,” Maya said, lowering her voice, trying to be discreet.

“I like your enthusiasm,” Raven said with admiration. “Now, work your magic, you can do this.”

“Yes, I’ll work my magic. Wait, what’s my magic?” Maya asked, her voice rising in panic.

“Just get them talking, make them interact...”

“Honey?” Jasper had wandered in from the porch.

Maya froze. Now he was in the kitchen. “Yes?” she said hesitantly.

“Are you in the pantry closet?” Jasper was clearly perplexed.

Silence reverberated through the room for a good five seconds. “Yes.” Maya held her breath. She wasn’t sure who all should be in on the matchmaking plan.

“Okay.”

And with that she heard him go back out on the patio. She exhaled, putting her hand to her chest. She held the phone back up, “Oh god, I’ve never been very good at this. What if I blow it?”

“Relax, you’ve got this girl.”

“Okay, I should get back, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ya...Oh, Maya!”

“What?”

“I dig your kid,” Raven said appreciatively.

“I know, he’s pretty great,” she said with parental pride.

 

After Maya had gone off to fetch a beer, Lexa and Clarke were left to stare uncomfortably at each other. Both thrown off balance by the situation. Neither expecting to see the other so soon after their adventures on Sunday.

Lexa cleared her throat. “Well, here we are. Again.” She glanced towards the kitchen hoping for Maya’s reappearance. The silence dragged on making an awkward situation more so. “Life just keeps putting us together...” Lexa said, trailing off at the end. There seemed to be no escaping this woman. Dreams, fantasies, realities, she was everywhere. Was this some cross to bear? A punishment for some dastardly crime she committed? So much for meeting the woman of her dreams. Instead she would be spending the evening with the very taken Clarke Griffin.

Clarke put her hands in her pockets, blew out a deep breath. She was still cursing her stupid luck. “Life can certainly be funny.”

“Mmhmm. Hysterical. Well, should we continue our truce? I mean, we don’t wanna spoil dinner or anything. Let’s just agree to be civil to each other, okay?” Lexa asked.

Clarke raised her eyebrows. “You say that like I’m not civil, I can be civil,” she said a little defensively.

“I didn’t mean you couldn’t be civil, of course you can be civil…” Lexa cut herself off as Maya came back in the living room, empty handed.

“How is everyone?” Maya asked nervously, wringing her hands. This was heavyweight matchmaking, maybe above her pay grade, and she didn’t want to screw it up. She wished Raven was here to handle it.

Lexa gave her a perplexed look, and put her hands out. “Beer?”

Maya’s mouth formed a silent O, “Be right back.” She rushed back to the kitchen. But instead of reaching in the fridge and grabbing Lexa a beer, she paced around thinking, what would Raven do. WWRD she said to herself. How would she get Clexa to engage with each other?

Lexa turned her attention back to Clarke. “So, deal? Civil?” Lexa asked, wanting to be sure there were no scenes at the Jordan house.

Clarke nodded her head. “Deal. Civil.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Should we shake on it?” Lexa asked, for no reason other than that she wanted to touch Clarke. It seemed like a lifetime ago she had Clarke in her lap. And these were the exact thoughts that she needed to guard against tonight.

“Okay.” Clarke and Lexa sealed the deal with a shake, that lasted a millisecond longer than necessary.

Maya appeared in the living room, again no beer in her hand. “Dinner’s ready!” she yelled a little too enthusiastically. She disappeared as quickly as she had appeared.

Lexa and Clarke looked at each other, a little befuddled by Maya’s odd behavior.

“Are we supposed to follow her?” Clarke asked.

“I guess so.”

“Where’s your beer?”

“Maybe she drank it,” Lexa said.

“Does she have a drinking problem?”

“She didn’t yesterday.”

As Clarke walked into the dining room she felt her phone vibrate and took a quick glance down at it. Raven had texted, _“Doing anything interesting tonite?”_

Clarke was not one to text when she was with other people, so she tried to be quick about her answer, _“Dinner with the Jordans gotta go.”_

As everyone entered, they began taking seats. Maya yelled, “Wait!”

All froze and looked at her. Jasper was particularly bug-eyed, not used to hearing such loud sounds come out of his wife’s mouth.

“We have a seating arrangement,” she explained.

“We do?” Jasper asked, baffled. Usually it was a free for all and people just plopped wherever.

“Yes, yes, we do. Okay, Jasper, you and I will sit at the ends, and Lexa and Aden, you guys sit on that side, and Clarke you sit on this side.” Maya knew she wanted Clexa across from each other. If they were sitting side by side, it was too hard to make eye contact.

Everyone moved and sat in their assigned seats. Maya puffed out her chest a little bit, proud of herself for being so assertive.

After taking their seats, they began passing the food around. The steaks were done to perfection, and plates were filled with potatoes and grilled veggies.

Jasper watched the disappearing food with a satisfied look on his face, “Well, this is a damn sight better than the last dinner we had with you, Woods.”

“Why, what happened last time?” Clarke asked, taking a healthy spoonful of roasted potatoes.

Lexa started chuckling, as Maya spoke up quickly, “I tried to set up Lexa with some woman, and she didn’t eat meat, she didn’t eat potatoes, it was a disaster.”

“What _did_ she eat?” Clarke asked.

“Like, two leaves of lettuce,” Aden said with a smirk. “Dad was crushed.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that with me. I love to eat,” Clarke said, smiling at the faces around her, landing on one particular face that wore an appreciative grin. A certain brunette. “Did you go out on a date with her?”

“Me?” Lexa asked.

“No, Jasper. Of course, you,” Clarke said with exasperation.

“Ah, no, I didn’t. She wasn’t my type,” Lexa explained.

“You have a type?” Clarke asked as she waved the salt shaker over her potatoes.

“I do.”

“Well, please share,” Clarke said. “Maybe it’ll help Maya in the future.” She looked at Maya and smiled, then back at Lexa, waiting expectantly for the information.

“She likes blonde hair and blue eyes,” Maya blurted out. All eyes landed on her. She put her head down, cut a piece of steak, and shoved it in her mouth.

“Oh?” Clarke asked, cocking a lone eyebrow at Lexa.

“Clarke has blonde hair and blue eyes,” Aden said matter-of-factly. “Can I have some more peppers, please?”

The eyes were now on Lexa. She cleared her throat. “Um, yeah, lots of people have blonde hair and blue eyes, buddy.” Lexa ruffled Aden’s hair. “Just to be clear, I’ve dated people who’ve had brown eyes, and dark hair also.” Lexa still felt everyone’s gaze upon her, making her squirm a little. A quick flash of Clarke in a light blue bra popped into her brain. “I, uh, Costia had brown eyes.” She regretted her choice of words immediately.

“Had?” Clarke was sharp.

“Has, Costia _has_ brown eyes.”

“You still dating her?” Jasper asked.

“She’s out of town for a few weeks. It’s a work thing. And, we’re still just keeping it casual. But yeah, we still see each other. Or, I guess we will when she gets back...from work.” She was staring into a pair of disbelieving blue eyes when she uttered that last statement.

Maya stood up suddenly, “Does anyone need anything? I need more water.”

Jasper looked at Maya’s full water glass. “Hon, you got a full glass right there.”

“It’s warm now, I need it cold.” And with that she shot into the kitchen, and landed back in the pantry. She yanked out her phone to check the latest text from Raven, knocking two cans of corn to the ground.

“Honey? Everything okay in there?” Jasper called out.

She cracked open the door, “Yes. I’m getting water.” She looked down at her phone to read it.

_“Get them into a bathroom together. But be prepared to remodel afterwards.”_

Maya looked bewildered. She read it again in case she got something wrong. Bathroom?

Her phone vibrated again. Raven sent a picture of her and Octavia in front of a bowl of popcorn, giving her the thumbs up.

She wrote back, _“I don’t understand, a bathroom?”_

_“I guess that is a little abstruse.”_

Now Maya was really mystified. _“Abstruse???”_

 _“Abstruse, O’s word of the day,”_ and the next thing that came over was a gif of a high five.

 _“What does it mean?”_ Maya typed.

_“It means difficult to understand.”_

“Honey? Are you back in the pantry closet?” Jasper called from the dining room.

“Uh, I’ll be right there,” Maya called. _“I’ll be back in a bit, bye,”_ she texted to Raven.

She stumbled back out of the pantry, tripping over the corn and nearly taking a header into the trash can. She hustled back to her guests and took her seat.

“Where’s your water?” Lexa asked.

“Oh, I don’t need any, I have water here.” Maya took a big gulp from her glass.

A few inquisitive glances made their way around the table. But shoulder shrugs soon followed, and it was back to the business at hand. Dinner.

During the next few moments, silence ensued, as everyone enjoyed their meal. Every once in a  
while, either Clarke or Maya’s phones would buzz.

Jasper looked at them both, “Boy, somebody’s really popular,” he said playfully.

“Excuse me just a sec, sometimes the hospital texts me.” Clarke pulled out her phone, and glanced down at it. It was no emergency, rather Raven on a seek and find mission.

_“Who else is there? Just you?”_

Clarke quickly whipped off a response, _“I’m at dinner, talk to you later!!!”_ Clarke put her phone back down. “Sorry about that, just, ah, a question about a patient.”

Maya’s phone was next, vibrating in her lap. She took a quick peek down and saw the text.

_“What are they doing now?”_

“Anything important, honey?” Jasper asked.

“No, no, nothing important, just my mother. She…wants to go shopping this weekend.”

He nodded at his wife, and put his beer on the table after taking a swig. “So, Clarke, what made you wanna be a doctor?” Jasper asked.

“Well, truth be told, I didn’t actually want to be a doctor.”

“Really?” Aden asked.

“No, what I really wanted to be was an artist.”

“So, how come you didn’t become an artist?” he asked.

“In my family, you had one career choice. And that was medicine. My mom and dad are doctors, and my mom’s parents are also doctors. So, you see, there was no way I was allowed to be anything else. I tried. When I was a teenager I used to paint and draw all the time. I even won a contest once. But my parents didn’t care. It was doctor or bust for me.”

“That’s so sad, Clarke,” Maya said.

“Oh, it’s fine. I certainly have nothing to complain about.”

“But you’re a good doctor,” Jasper said. “So maybe that’s what was supposed to happen.”

“I guess,” Clarke said, but a tinge of sadness was visible in her eyes.

“Couldn’t you have just done what you wanted? Told your parents to butt out of your life?” Jasper asked.

Clarke chuckled. “You don’t tell Abby Griffin to butt out of your life.”

“Who’s Abby Griffin?” Maya asked.

“That’s my mom.”

“Didn’t she want you to be happy?” Aden asked.

“She wanted me to get straight A's, that’s what she wanted. And she wanted me to take advanced classes in the summer time. One time, I came home with an eighty-nine on a test, and I was grounded for a month.”

“Jesus. That’s hard core,” Jasper said. “I basically coasted through school getting C’s and D’s,” he said proudly.

Clarke waved it off. “It was fine. They wanted excellence. I gave them excellence. I’m a good doctor because of them.”

“Yeah, but still, you wanted to be an artist,” Aden said.

“What about your dad? Did he want you to be a doctor, too?” Maya asked.

“Yep, they all did. Well, except for my grandmother. My dad’s mom. She was the only one who wanted me to follow my dreams. She was my best friend in a way.”

“Is she still alive?” Lexa asked.

“No, she passed away a few years ago. Okay, enough about me. Let’s talk about something else,” and as she said this she looked across at Lexa and was met by sympathetic green eyes. She felt her heart wobble, like it skipped a beat. This was a look she wasn’t used to seeing. “What about your family?”

Lexa got an inkling that perhaps there was more to Clarke than previously thought. Childhood dreams dashed. Demanding parents. Perhaps there was no silver spoon, after all. “I didn’t know my dad. But my mom was wonderful. She was a single mom, who managed to give me a ton of love while working two jobs.” She reached out and grabbed a roll.

“Was?”

“She died about 8 years ago.”

“What happened?” Clarke asked.

“She had surgery, and the surgeon clipped an artery, didn’t know he did it, sewed her up. By the time they figured out there was a problem, it was too late. She bled out in recovery. The surgeon had self-medicated to stay awake. So, he was basically on drugs when he operated on my mom.”

“Oh Christ. That’s awful,” Clarke said. “Now I know why you said you hated surgeons.”

“You remember that?”

“I do. We’re not all bad, though.”

“I know that, Clarke.” The look they shared spoke volumes. These tiny, new revelations about each other resonated with both of them. Previous, rash judgements of character started to fade slightly.

“Okay, this is too sad, let’s perk up a little bit, talk about something else.” Jasper was very light-hearted, and the depressive nature of the conversation was getting him down. “So how was that golf outing, Clarke? The one you guys were talking about at the party?”

Clarke finished chewing, and swallowed a mouthful of veggies. “It was fun. It was really fun,” Clarke said.

“I ended up playing, too,” Lexa said.

“Really? How did that happen?” Jasper asked.

“Well,” Clarke said, “Harper was too hungover to play…” and she looked across the table at Lexa, who finished her sentence.

“So, they needed someone, and I got a text from Raven asking for me to fill in.”

“They let ringers play?” Jasper asked jokingly.

Lexa chuckled. “I’m not that much of a ringer. But we did take fourth place.” She raised her beer in the air, toasting Clarke with a big smile.

Clarke was only too happy to clink her wine glass with Lexa’s beer bottle. “Which was a huge deal, by the way,” she interjected. “We usually finish last, and everyone makes fun of us.”

“Who makes fun of you?” Maya asked with indignation.

“Phil and his playing partners,” Clarke said. As she realized her slip up, she blushed a little bit. “Finn, I mean Finn and his playing partners.” She took a quick sip of wine to hide her embarrassment, and green eyes sparkled at her from across the table. She frowned at them.

“Dinner afterwards was a riot,” Lexa said.

“Oh god, Raven was in rare form,” Clarke said with a shake of her head, happy to think of anything other than that smile, those eyes, and the fact she couldn’t get her fiancé’s name right.

“I think that mic drop was the highlight of the evening,” Lexa said, smiling over at Clarke.

“Agreed. Although Dr. Kentman may never recover,” Clarke said back to her, sharing the smile.

“Who’s Dr. Kentman?” Maya asked.

“Only the President of the hospital,” Clarke said.

“Oh my,” Maya said.

“Have you seen him since?” Lexa asked.

“No, thank god. I don’t know that I could look him in the eye.”

“What happened to him?” Aden asked.

Lexa looked at Clarke, “May I?” asking permission to tell the story.

Clarke gave a slight nod of her head and warm smile, and Lexa almost forgot where she was for a moment. Warm, smiling Clarke was devastating. “Uh,” she fought to get her equilibrium back, “oh, well, first off, she almost hit him when he was two holes over…”

“She teed it up in the fairway, because, well, just because, it’s Raven, right?” Clarke said as she watched Lexa’s reaction.

“She hit her three wood, and we were like, ten feet from the hole,” Lexa explained. “So, naturally it landed two greens over...” Lexa started chuckling with the memory, “almost beaning the good Dr. Kentman.”

“And then she dropped the F bomb all over him,” Clarke continued, and started giggling.

“And then she went all WWF on him at the awards dinner,” Lexa said, now barely containing her laughter as she watched Clarke.

“She actually got into a tug of war over the microphone with him. He’s like eighty,” Clarke said, as the giggle fest continued.

They had eyes only for each other at that moment, which did not go unnoticed by the Jordan’s.

“And then, she literally dropped the mic and burst everyone’s ear drums,” Lexa said with a guffaw.

“And Dr. Kentman keeled over right in front of us.” Clarke almost snorted.

“I thought he died,” Lexa said, between gulps of air. “I shouldn’t be laughing at that, but...” and now Lexa went into spasmodic fits of laughter.

“He was okay,” and Clarke grabbed her sides she was laughing so hard now. “Poor guy,” she said, “he got Raven’d.” And with that, she almost fell out of her chair.

Lexa wasn’t doing any better as she slapped at the table. “Stop it, stop it, you’re killing me,” she said as tears came out of her eyes. “Drinks on Murphy!” she sputtered, finding it hard to breathe.

Maya, Jasper and Aden were clearly enjoying the story, or really, the story tellers. Here were two people who insisted they didn’t like each other, joyfully laughing at a shared memory.

Maya was wishing she had videoed the entire conversation. WWRD?! When things calmed down, she stood up abruptly, “I have to go to the bathroom, be right back,” she said quietly.

The rest of the room was still chuckling over the golf story.

“Sorry,” Clarke apologized as she caught her breath. “I’m sure it’s not as funny to hear about it as it was to actually be there and see it.”

“No, it sounds pretty funny,” Jasper said.

“Were there any cool prizes?” Aden asked.

“Well,” Lexa’s eyes found Clarke’s, “I donated dog training lessons for the silent auction.”

“That’s damn fine of you, Woods, who won them?” Jasper asked.

Lexa paused, as the ramifications of being alone with Clarke for the lessons hit home. “Ah, Clarke won them,” she said as she nodded over at Clarke. Smiling Clarke, playful Clarke, this newly revealed Clarke.

Jasper and Aden glanced at each other, then at the girls, “Well, that sounds fun,” Jasper said.

 

When Maya made it to the bathroom she shut the door and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet. She quickly made a Facetime call to Raven.

“Whaddup? Report in please,” Raven said. She was sitting back in her chair, feet on a desk, popcorn in her lap.

“Clexa laughed together, repeat, Clexa laughed together.”

Raven quickly put her feet on the ground. “Get the fuck outta here.”

“I am not kidding. I wish I had pictures.”

“What were they laughing at?”

“You, evidently you were very funny at the golf outing.”

“Well, yeah, that goes without saying. I am highly entertaining,” Raven quipped.

“Have to get back, catch you later.”

“Okay girl, bathroom!” Raven shouted.

Maya nodded her head, and rushed out of the powder room to rejoin the dinner party. WWRD. Get them to a bathroom. The mission was clear. She came back into the dining room and took her seat. “Sorry, sorry, here I am, what did I miss?” she asked with smile.

“You didn’t miss anything, honey,” Jasper said.

“Lex, how are your dogs?” Aden asked.

“Didn’t she tell you?” Clarke asked with a serious expression.

Everyone fell silent, expecting, perhaps, bad news.

“She’s a cat lover now,” Clarke smirked. “She has two new kittens at home.”

Aden looked at Lexa and did a double take. “What? You hate cats.”

“I don’t hate them, I never said I hate them.”

“I’m pretty sure you told everyone you hate them,” Clarke said.

“You’re both exaggerating.”

“When did that happen, and why are we the last to know?” Maya asked.

Lexa looked at Clarke as she answered Maya’s question, “I just got them a couple weeks ago. I mean, they were found a couple weeks ago, by the dogs.”

“Too late, you said you got them, means you’re keeping them,” Clarke gloated.

“No, it doesn’t, and no I’m not. I’m a dog person.”

“You are sooo much a cat person now.” Clarke was having a blast teasing Lexa. Her eyes sparkled with every light-hearted dig. “Did you name them yet?” She turned to Aden, “She refuses to name them.”

“You haven’t named them?” Aden asked.

Lexa eyes kept wandering back to Clarke. She found it hard to look away. “No, cause I’m not keeping them.” She was thoroughly enjoying Clarke’s playfulness.

“She is keeping them. Maybe we should brainstorm some names for her,” Clarke said. “How about Fluffy and Muffy.”

“Fluffy and Muffy? They’re boys, I’m not naming my kittens Fluffy and Muffy.”

“Oohhhh,” they all said in unison.

“You said my kittens, you are so busted,” Jasper chirped.

“Yeah, you’re keeping them,” Maya said with a nod.

“Cat person!” Aden said gleefully.

Clarke piled on, “Kitten lover!”

Lexa was busted. Caught red-handed. But she wasn’t going down without a fight. “Nope, dog lover, through and through. No cats.”

“How about Boris and Buster,” Jasper volunteered.

“Not keeping them,” Lexa said to the group.

“What color are they?” Maya asked Clarke.

“Orange and white. Very fluffy looking.”

“Those are fall colors,” Maya mused. “How about Pumpkin and Spice.”

“You can’t name a boy cat Spice,” Aden said.

“You’re wasting your time,” Lexa said, as the names kept coming.

“Ernie and Garfield.”

“Cheese Puff and Cheetos,” Aden said.

“Hungry buddy?” Jasper asked.

“Simba and Sandy.”

“Wasn’t Simba a white lion?” Lexa asked.

“Pooh and Tigger.”

“I’m not yelling, ‘Come here, Pooh.’ That’ll just morph into Poopy, and nobody wants to call that out,” Lexa said. “Besides, I’m not keeping them.” Lexa tried to put a look of disgust on her face, but she was secretly loving the brainstorming session. She was having trouble coming up with names.

“Speaking of Tigger, here’s a story for you,” Clarke started. “When I was young, I used to like to draw picture books…”

“You drew picture books? That’s adorable,” Maya gushed.

Lexa’s mind briefly went on hiatus, as an unbidden memory crept into the far reaches of her brain. Someone gave her a picture book once, a hazy memory started swimming to the surface, an angel with curly blonde hair. She was pulled back to the present by Aden whacking her on the arm. “Huh?”

“Those are great names, aren’t they?” Maya was looking at her expectantly.

“What?” Lexa had no idea what had been said. “I’m sorry, what are great names?”

“Thumper and Tigger. Clarke’s favorite animal names when she was little,” Maya explained.

Lexa just stared, somewhat embarrassed that she lost track of the conversation. “I zoned out, sorry. So, what about the names?” Lexa directed the question to Clarke.

“My picture book. Pay attention!” she scolded, although she wasn’t really that upset. “They were the characters in my story. A tree frog named Thumper and squirrel named Tigger.”

“Who names a squirrel, Tigger?” Lexa asked jokingly.

“I was like, five,” Clarke retorted. “And Winnie the Pooh was one of my favorite books, and Bambi was another one. So there.”

“I love those names!” Maya exclaimed.

“Calm down people. If I keep the kittens, and that’s a big if, I will think about all the names presented to me here tonight. But no promises.”

“Good enough,” Jasper said, raising his beer in agreement. “Here, here!”

They all had finished dinner by this time, and Clarke stood up, “Can I use your bathroom?”

Maya reacted quickly, “Yes, of course. Upstairs, it’s upstairs. Lexa show her where it is.”

Lexa looked at her, “Why can’t she use the powder room down here?”

“It’s broken!”

“Huh? You just used it.” Jasper was confused by his wife’s outburst. He stopped talking because she was giving him dagger eyes from her end of the table. He just went with it. “Oh, yeah, the toilet broke. We’ll fix it tomorrow.”

“What happened to it?” Aden asked.

“It’s too abstruse, I don’t feel like getting into it,” Maya said.

“What?” asked the rest of the table.

Maya ignored them, WWRD. It was all about the mission. “Lexa, take Clarke and show her where the bathroom is.”

Well, there was no way Lexa wanted to go near a bathroom. “Why don’t you show her?”

“I’m doing the dishes,” and Maya began gathering up the empty plates and taking them to the sink. She fired off a quick text to Raven, alerting her to the fact that the bathroom was now in play.

“I can do the dishes,” Lexa called after her, trying to distance herself from Clarke and a bathroom.

“No, Go!”

“Okay, geez, calm down. Clarke, follow me.”

Lexa and Clarke traipsed up the steps.

Lexa began mumbling, “I have no idea what’s gotten into her tonight.”

When they got to the end of the hall by the bathroom, Clarke grabbed Lexa, pulled her inside, and shut the door. Lexa stumbled in after her, falling into Clarke, grabbing her shoulders to steady herself, their faces inches apart. Her heart leapt in her throat, as she thought a kiss was imminent.

Clarke’s intention was to question Lexa about Maya and Raven, but the proximity of those lips rendered her mute. Her mind went on holiday while her body drove the attraction bus, and she did what now seemed to be perfectly normal bathroom behavior—she leaned in and softly touched her lips to Lexa’s. When Lexa moaned and pulled her closer, the vacation was over, her brain screamed, De-infatuation! And the battle was on, Clarke’s body waged war with her head. Her body wanting to taste the sweetness of those plump, soft lips, while her head was flooding with guilt and shame. This kiss was different than the previous ones, all soft exploring, tips of tongues touching, and breathy little sighs. The effect was staggering. Clarke needed to exercise some self-control stat, or they might end up in the fucking bathtub.

She willed her mind to victory, put an iron grip on her attraction, an attraction heightened by their shared moments at the dinner table. She strangled it. She silenced it. She had to. She was engaged for god’s sake! She put her hand on Lexa’s chest and stopped the brunette’s momentum. She reluctantly pulled her lips away. She opened her eyes, and almost chuckled at the look on Lexa’s face. Her lips were slightly parted and moist, her eyes were dreamy and unfocused. She looked like she was in never-never land. And it was adorable. God, she wanted to drag her off to a bedroom right now. She took a quick peek at the tub. No, bad form Clarke. De-infatuation! Fucking right fucking now, fuck! She took a couple deep breaths. She wrestled her inner demons, she subdued them.

“We shouldn’t...,” Clarke said, not knowing how to finish that sentence. Shouldn’t what? Shouldn’t kiss at all, or shouldn’t be kissing in here? She had no fucking clue.

Lexa cleared her throat and stepped back a bit. She felt like she just woke up from an amazing dream. Clarke’s lips were so incredible, the kiss so sweet. She wondered if she’d ever get to kiss her someplace other than a bathroom. Might have to put that on her to-do list. Clarke was looking at her, waiting for her to say something. “Ah, no, we shouldn’t.”

“I mean, we shouldn’t in here…” Clarke trailed off, looking around the small bathroom, feeling like she won the battle, but the war was another thing entirely.

“No. I doubt they could afford the renovation,” Lexa said with a smile, feeling a little flirty after such a fantastic kiss.

Clarke tried to hide a return smile, but the corners of her mouth turned up a little.

Lexa leaned against the closed door. “So, if you didn’t pull me in here to make out, why did you pull me in here? Or, maybe you did pull me in here to make out,” she leered.

Clarke rolled her eyes. “No, I didn’t pull you in here to make out.” She was slowly coming back down to earth. Her brow furrowed with contemplation. “Uh...I don’t remember.” She was suffering from short term memory loss. Evidently, she needed to add that to the list of things that happen to her when she was around this woman. She couldn’t recall anything before the kiss. She made a mental note to never perform surgery when Lexa was near, she’d be sure to cut out a wrong body part or two.

“Maybe if we kiss again, it’ll jog your memory,” Lexa teased.

“Nice try,” Clarke said. She was back on solid ground now. “That worked once, and it’s not gonna work again. I’ll remember in a minute...Oh! I remember. Do Maya and Raven talk?”

“Uh, maybe? Yeah, I think they do, actually.”

“Ah ha! I knew it,” Clarke said with a little fist pump.

“What?” Lexa asked.

“Don’t you see? The cat is out the bag. Or kitten.”

“What are you talking about?”

Clarke began pacing the small room. “Abstruse? Abstruse? What the heck is that?”

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t even know what that means.”

“Exactly!” Clarke pointed at her. “Nobody does. It has word of the day written all over it.” She twirled her pointing finger in a big circle for emphasis. “She’s been talking to Raven. And I bet Raven told her we kissed. Damn it. I knew it, I knew she knew.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The bathroom, Maya insisting you take me to a _bathroom_.”

“What does Maya...oooh.” The light went on in Lexa’s brain. “So, you think Raven told her to get us into a bathroom.”

“Well, obviously.” Clarke’s hands were on her hips, wondering what the heck took her so long to catch on. Her phone buzzed. She rolled her eyes, sensing who it was from. She took a quick look down, and then showed it to Lexa. It was a gif of an antelope, or something, eating a bowl of popcorn.

Lexa started chuckling. “That’s kinda funny.”

“What?”

“That picture. And getting us to a bathroom. You have to admit that’s a good one. And it worked.”

Clarke just stared at her, trying not to enjoy the joke. She just spent three long days dealing with her guilt, and just when she thought she wouldn’t let it happen again, here she was. In a bathroom, recovering from another mind-blowing kiss.

“We trashed those other bathrooms, didn’t we?” Lexa said smiling, remembering the golf bathroom that they vandalized.

“It’s not funny.” Clarke fought back a smile as she remembered the way that table rolled right under the stall door.

“It’s funny, c’mon Clarke. It’s totally funny.”

Blue eyes stared back at her, and Lexa swore she saw a glimmer of mirth. “Should we?” Lexa said suggestively.

“What?” Clarke looked incredulous. “We’re not kissing again. Once is enough.”

“C’mon, that was barely a kiss. And we’ll tidy up afterwards this time.” She took a quick glance around. “It’s a lot smaller in here than the other ones, so maybe we won’t bang into as many things,” Lexa said, now wiggling her eyebrows, in full blown flirt mode.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Ah, maybe?” Lexa was not kidding. She needed more of Clarke, the kiss had been sweet, but too short. God, how did this happen? When did she start to need? Although, looking at Clarke now, she didn’t seem to be a willing participant at this time, so her needs would have to wait. “Yes, I was kidding.” Lexa said that to save face.

“I’m still engaged, you know,” and Clarke raised that naked finger again.

“Yeah, do you even have a ring?” Lexa asked, shaking her head.

Clarke looked at her hand. “Damn it.” She twisted an imaginary ring with her thumb and index finger. “I always forget to put it on. I don’t wear it to work for obvious reasons.”

“Right, don’t wanna lose it inside a patient.”

“So, when I get home, I don’t put it on either, because I’m getting ready for bed, and why would I put it on just to wear it to bed?”

“Why would you,” Lexa said in agreement.

“I mean, who wears their ring to bed?” Clarke asked.

“Nobody, that’s who.” Well, everybody she knew, but Lexa wouldn’t say that out loud. No need to make new Clarke feel bad. Because then this, whatever this was tonight, would end. She’d try and figure out what _this_ was later, when she was alone.

“Exactly,” Clarke said. They both stared at each other for a moment. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

Lexa saw the sincerity in Clarke’s eyes. “Thank you, Clarke.”

Neither knew what to say next. The silence became deafening. Suddenly the air in the bathroom felt charged with electricity. Clarke knew if she didn’t break the spell, they would end up in the tub. “So, I have to pee, do you mind?”

“Oh, right, I’m sorry, I’ll...ah...do you need me to wait outside here, to, um, show you the way back downstairs?” Lexa’s eyes twinkled with a little mischief.

A small smile made its way to Clarke’s lips, “I think I can find my way, but thanks.”

Lexa put on her best disappointed face.

“Knock it off,” Clarke said lightly.

“Alright. I’ll see you down there, then.” And with that Lexa left and shut the door behind her.

When Lexa made it back downstairs, Maya, Jasper, and Aden were sitting on the couch. She couldn’t quite read their expressions, but she sensed something was up.

What she didn’t know was that Maya had filled them in on Operation Popcorn.

“What’s up?” Lexa asked. “You all look a little weird.”

“How’s the bathroom?” Jasper asked.

Lexa knew then that Clarke was right. They were busted. She felt sure she blushed. “The bathroom is good.”

“Nothing amiss up there?”

“Nope.” Lexa decided to play dumb. She went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. When she returned, the inquiry continued.

“Nothing needs, ah, fixing or anything?” Jasper asked.

“No, everything’s good.” She prayed her ruse worked.

“Good.”

Clarke made her way down the stairs and joined them all in the living room.

Aden jumped off the couch. “Lex, let’s go for a ride on your bike,” he said excitedly. “And you can take Clarke for a ride, too.”

“Oh, no, no, no. I’m not getting on the death machine,” Clarke said determinedly.

Lexa sent a bemused smile over to Clarke. “She has a healthy fear of motorcycles, buddy.” She felt fairly confident that Clarke would pass. It would be like throwing gasoline on a fire. And surely, the last ride would be fresh on her mind, since it was only two weeks ago. At least it was fresh on Lexa’s mind. The feeling of Clarke’s breasts pressing into her back, her arms around her waist, her chin on her shoulder. Add to that the fact that she knew Clarke could kiss her into oblivion, and an involuntary shudder of desire shot through her. Please say no, Clarke, she silently pleaded.

Aden was not to be deterred, Operation Popcorn was in full swing. “Mom always says to look fear in the eye. So, you should get on it.”

“I’m not getting on it. It’s too dangerous,” Clarke insisted.

“Are you chicken?” Aden asked.

“I’m not chicken, I just choose not to get on it.” Getting on that motorcycle again was a sure-fire way to look like an idiot. If she couldn’t keep her lips to herself, Clarke was determined to keep her dignity intact.

Aden tilted his chin up. “I dare you.”

And there it was. Clarke’s kryptonite. “What?” she asked.

Lexa had a sense of foreboding as she heard the dare issued. The last time Clarke felt dared was almost her undoing. Clarke Griffin should _not be dared_ , she wanted to scream.

“Did you just say, I dare you?” Clarke needed clarification, to make sure she heard it right.

A small groan gurgled up from Lexa’s throat. Maya glanced over at her with a questioning look, and Lexa decided to pass it off as a burp. She put her hand over her mouth and gave a little cough, “Excuse me,” she said quietly.

“I dare you,” Aden repeated with his arms folded.

Clarke pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. He was twelve, surely a dare from a twelve-year-old could go unanswered. Couldn’t it? Pride could make one do the damnedest things.

“Just around the block?” she asked.

“Yep.”

Clarke began to nod, and looked around the room. Maya wore a soft smile, Jasper looked like he’d rather be grilling, Lexa looked like she was lining up for the firing squad. “Well. I never back down from a dare,” she said quietly, her eyes coming back to Aden. A look of determination settled over her features. “You’re on,” she said. “We’re doing this, game on. Saddle up, Linda!” she called out enthusiastically, her fist in the air.

Lexa nearly choked on her water. She certainly didn’t see this coming. Another ride with Clarke wrapped around her? After what just happened tonight and this past weekend? Surely this was some sort of cruel torture.

Aden hooted. “Lex, let’s go, you’re taking Clarke around the block!”

Lexa swallowed the lump that had wedged in her throat.

“Who’s Linda?” Jasper asked anybody who was listening, except nobody was because they had all gone down the hallway to get Clarke ready for her ride. He shrugged. The evening had been filled with many bizarre moments, what was one more? He got up to join them.

“Do you have your spare helmet?” Maya asked Lexa.

She just nodded. She didn’t know whether to be stoked at the thought of Clarke so close, or petrified.

“Here Clarke, you can wear my jacket,” Jasper said, as he took his leather jacket out of the closet and helped her put it on.

“Let’s go!” Aden pulled Clarke out the door.

Maya followed, with Jasper close behind, her phone on video, filming everything for posterity. Or for Raven.

That left Lexa standing by herself in the foyer, alone with her thoughts. A few images from the evening washed over her, Clarke smiling, Clarke laughing, Clarke sad because she wanted to be an artist, Clarke teasing her. There seemed to be a theme here. The next thought was of Maya’s promise. She put on her jacket and zipped it up. Yep...she was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sticking with the motorcycle theme.  
> OK, I have realized in life, that there is a tipping point as we age. When we’re young, everything is an adventure, things are exciting and challenging. When we reach a certain age, that mythical “tipping point,” things become a little scarier, suddenly skydiving isn’t on your bucket list anymore, there’s no dorping way you’re gonna go bungee jumping. So, after the tipping point in my life, there was still something on my bucket list that I wanted to accomplish...learning to ride a motorcycle. So I did. And it was fun. But because I was past the tipping point, I didn’t want some big, powerful bike. So, my bike is, how should I say? Barely a scooter. It’s a lil bebe 250cc. Cause I’m a wuss. Anyway, got my license after taking the “learn to ride” program. We get bikes, the wife is a much more accomplished rider than I, but she stuck with a smaller bike so I could keep up. So, our first foray out into real traffic takes us to New Hope, Pa., on a very warm, fall day. New Hope is very cool, it’s artsy, very gay, but also attracts a ton of motorcycles, hard core riders, because the river is there and the roads are windy and cool.  
> So we start on our journey, and I’m a little nervous, cause it’s my first time riding with cars and such. I’m in front, cause wifey thinks it’s safer if she’s behind me. I pass another cycle, who gives me the “cycle wave”, you guys who ride know the wave, they lower their left hand down towards the ground when they pass you. (Unless you ride a Harley, then you’re rude and only wave at Harley’s! Why is that?) I thought the dude was so friendly, and I am a clueless moron, so don’t I take my left hand, raise it up, not down, and wave like a little kid waves at her mommy when she gets on the bus. Looked like a fucking moron. 
> 
> We get to New Hope and it’s jammin’ with bikes. Tons of them everywhere, clogging up the main road, parked at all the bars, creeping along, bumper to bumper, riders in their tank tops, no helmets, chicks in bikini tops, etc etc.  
> So here I come rolling into town, on my lil 250, jeans on, protective armored jacket, full face/shield helmet. Hello, fucktard. We’re stuck in motorcycle traffic, so I’m practically walking the bike up the street, getting stared at, I’m sure laughed at, all covered up, not a piece of skin showing, sweating my goddamn ass off. I should’ve played it cool, lifted my visor, finger gunned and winked at all the dudes and dudettes hanging around with their tats and their bandanas. But I didn’t. I took the first left and got the dorp outta there.  
> Needless to say, we never went back.  
> Drop me a line if you wanna say hi. I have to laugh when I see other authors say, "Drop me a line if you wanna yell at me." Well guess what? I don't need to be fucking yelled at. Drop me a line if you wanna giggle over something. ;)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clexa gonna try and be friends. good luck with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, we're back. This takes place right after the last chapter, so you may have to go back and re-read. Many thanks to my support group, LisaM, Mush, ritavratkaski, sparrow, Atomic Brunette, just G. It takes a village. And I am definitely the village idiot who needs my hand held sometimes. They give me ideas, they boost my ego, they edit, they roll their eyes, they call me a moron. Thank you ladies.
> 
> I must have sounded so forlorn last time cause I got lots of pictures! Yeah! Some of you followed the theme, of your pet airing it out, gold stars to you. Some just sent cute pics, and that's OK, too.
> 
> First up, from NellyOz, her little cuties, Daisy, Moo, and Bussy.
> 
> From my new bud in England, Liz, she gives us Frank and Bailey.
> 
> Making another appearance from silverwolf509, Miss Honey, airing it out. That's her mommy there, and she's single ladies! What? Who said that? Tumble her, she's fun, silverwolf509 is also her tumblr handle.
> 
> From my very fun lucky number 9, our pugs, Grace and Daisy.
> 
> From super zuz, her puppo Fanta, so cool.
> 
> And, our next picture, have to set this one up a lil bit. Sigh, where to start. You know I love the Aussies. We’ve discussed them in a previous chapter. They are so badass. We know this. I mean, everyday, they could literally die walking to their cars in the morning. A bin bird could land on their heads and poke their eyes out, a roo could box them senseless, a koala could shat upon them at any moment. So, when my interweb bud Roo decided to send me a pet pic, this is what I get. Yes, it’s the infamous Huntsman spider. Just a bebe, according to her. Not dinner-plate size, just more, like fist-size probably. Hanging out with her at work. She was quite proud of the picture, too. Said “Look at this lovely,” or something of that nature, in her Australian accent I'm sure. To which I replied, “Ew, you’re gross. I'm not putting that up. Why, it's got no name.” Little did I know it did. I give you, Spidey McSpidie, from Roo, Aka bfcameron. You Aussies are cra-cra!
> 
> Making their second appearance also, from the great wanheda, Penny and Amy, airing it out.
> 
> And, of course, it wouldn't be a chapter note without an appearance from the Dufus Direwolf.
> 
> Lastly, this pic. Man, this pic is fantastic. Reader #26, Delirious_Jer. Look at this. She has launched a new theme. She was visiting the aforementioned Australia, and since she didn't have a pet pic, she sends me this fucking masterpiece. I love it. Who else can send me something like this? A pic of you reading a chapter, in front of some famous landmark. Do it! And if you can't, pet pics are always accepted.

 

 

 

**Moo and Bussy, or Bussy and Moo, or, I dunno. And Daisy!**

**Frank, airing it out!! And then with his sister Bailey, a refuser  
**

**Honey, airing it out! Then with her mom, who's not airing it out.  
**

**Grace the pug, airing it out!! Daisy, the one-eyed pug, prob. just got up from airing it out.  
**

**Super cool Fanta and Spidey McSpidie.**

**Penny and Amy, airing it the dorp out!!  
**

  


**Of course, it wouldn't be a chapter without the Dufus, airing it out like only she can du.**

  


**Delirious_Jer, upping the ante, I love it! Thank you #26!  
**

 

**Chapter 16**

 

Lexa walked out of the house and over towards her bike, zipping up her jacket.

“Yeah! Go fast Lex, make sure you gun it!” Aden was stoked for the Clexa ride.

“I doubt I’ll be gunning it, buddy. She’ll be scared to death. Okay, blondie, you ready for another ride?” She handed Clarke the spare helmet.

Clarke took the helmet from her. “Just for clarification, I am not scared to death, this is easy. It’s just around the block. Watch me, I’ve so got this.” Clarke was overcome by a sense of false bravado. “I operate on people for god’s sake, you think this scares me? I’ve held an actual beating heart, _in my hand_.” Clarke had no idea who she was trying to convince.

“Put your helmet on Clarke, let’s go,” Aden insisted, impatient for the show.

“Wait a sec.” Clarke handed the helmet to Aden, and jogged back into the house. She went to the kitchen, poured herself another full glass of wine and chugged it. For liquid courage. She then took a quick gulp of water to rinse her mouth. When she was done, she headed back outside and was met by four sets of questioning eyes.

“What? I just needed some water.” Clarke looked at the helmet as she took it back from Aden. It had a full face shield, should be adequate protection, she thought. She opened the visor and jammed it on her head. It was much heavier than anticipated. “Is this too big? It feels too big. Is it supposed to be this heavy?”

“Fix her clasp, Lexa,” Jasper said.

Lexa looked over at Maya as she reached out to Clarke, “Are you recording this?”

“Yes, I’m gonna post it later. You guys look so cute in your outfits.”

Lexa made sure Clarke’s helmet was secure, her fingers softly brushing her chin. She caught Clarke staring at her, seeing a look of determination in those blue eyes. “You okay?” Lexa asked as she stepped away from Clarke and reached out for her own helmet.

“I’m more than okay. Let’s get this party started, Louann!” Clarke whacked Lexa on the butt. Like a football player after a touchdown. Right on the ass.

Lexa stopped what she was doing, turned around, and looked at her with raised eyebrows. “Well, aren’t we a little fired up. How much wine did we have?”

“I’m fine. Let’s go, let’s go, I’m ready to do this.” Clarke knew she was rambling, maybe three glasses of wine wasn’t a brilliant idea after all. “A dare’s a dare, and I’ve been dared, so let’s go…”

Lexa cocked her eyebrow, and slowly closed the visor while Clarke was talking, essentially silencing her.

The rest of Clarke’s sentences were garbled and incoherent, muted by the helmet.

Jasper leaned into Maya’s ear, “Who’s Louann?”

Maya replied, “I think she means Lexa.”

“And...Linda?” he asked quietly.

“Same thing.”

“Why doesn’t she just say Lexa?”

His wife just shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe it’s a nickname,” she whispered. She was not totally up on the Louann or the Linda thing, she needed to get up to speed. That would be a question for Raven.

Lexa slung her leg over the bike and lifted the kickstand. “All aboard,” she said to Clarke.

Clarke did her motorcycle dance, much to the amusement of the Jordans.

“Do you need help?” Maya asked.

“I think you just throw your leg over it,” Jasper suggested.

“Give her a minute,” Lexa said with a hint of sarcasm, as she adjusted her own helmet, and put the key in the ignition.

Aden got a major case of the giggles while he watched Clarke hop about, and playfully fell on the ground laughing.

“Zip it, you,” Clarke pointed to him. Her muffled voice sounded like Darth Vader. She decided to go with it. “Luke, I am your father…”

Lexa turned back to Clarke, “You know he’s deaf right?”

“Oh shit,” Clarke said, realizing that he couldn’t read her lips if her visor was down. She lifted it, “Zip it, you,” she repeated.

Which only made Aden laugh harder.

Lexa signed something to him, and he signed back, still laughing.

“Hey, no fair,” Clarke said. “What did you say to him?”

“I told him you were imitating Darth Vader from Star Wars. He loves Star Wars. Are you getting on anytime soon? Do you need a step stool?”

“You’re not funny,” Clarke said.

“I know,” Lexa said absently, as she checked her brake lights and blinkers. “Getting dark, Clarke. So, any day now.”

“I’m getting there, hold on.”

As Lexa waited for Clarke to figure it out, she tried to numb her body for the onslaught of sensations that lay ahead. She tried to think of every awful thing Clarke had ever said to her. But the only image in her head was Clarke in her blue bra. Which wasn’t very helpful. At all.

All thoughts ceased immediately, as Clarke finally got on the bike, wrapping her arms around her waist, snuggling up against her back. Lexa’s body temperature shot through the roof. Somehow Clarke’s hands made their way under her jacket, and her shirt was not currently tucked in, which meant Clarke’s bare hands were on her bare stomach. She waited for her to remove them, because, surely, there was no way she was going to be able to function with Clarke caressing her abdomen. But Clarke wasn’t paying attention, quoting Star Wars back and forth with Aden.

Lexa took a deep breath and turned her bike on. She carefully walked it backwards into the street. The Jordans followed, Maya smiling ridiculously as she continued to record. Lexa clicked into first.

“Slow!” Clarke yelled in her ear.

Lexa flinched, hoping her eardrum was still intact. Evidently, Clarke thought her visor was down. “I know, Clarke.” She needed to address the fondling that was going on, or they’d end up in a hedge on someone’s front lawn. Even at five miles per hour. “Are you going to remove your hands from my stomach?”

“No, they’re nice and warm there.” Clarke decided that she liked the feel of Lexa’s abs. She usually wasn’t this free and easy with touching people, but she had three glasses of wine, which always loosened her inhibitions. So why not enjoy this very small, almost sinful act. “You give off a lot of body heat.” Clarke decided that was better than saying, your abs make me hot. And I wouldn’t mind putting my tongue down there. Yeah, probably shouldn’t say that. Whew. How much alcohol was in that wine?

Lexa sighed. This woman. Did she really have no idea what kind of affect she had on her? She turned her head towards her torturer, “You ready?”

Clarke closed her visor, and quickly tucked her hand back under Lexa’s shirt. “Hit it, Lisa,” she yelled into Lexa’s ear. Clarke’s alcohol confidence was sky high.

Jasper looked at his wife as the girls prepared to drive off. “Well, she’s got all sorts of pet names for her, doesn’t she?”

“It’s very cute,” Maya said.

Lexa popped it out of first and took off.

They were at thirty miles per hour in a few seconds, because Lexa had a momentary lapse in judgement. Not really, she wanted to rile Clarke up.

Clarke shrieked, “Slow the fuck down!”

The caress on Lexa’s stomach became a clutch and a squeeze, less of a turn on, so she slowed down, chuckling to herself. The streets were quiet and deserted, so she had no fear of traffic.

“Slower, please,” Clarke pleaded.

And now they slowed down to twenty.

“Slower.”

“Oh my god, Clarke, you’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m not kidding, I don’t wanna die tonight.”

“This ride’s not gonna kill you. I may, but this ride won’t.”

“Very funny.”

Lexa coasted down to fifteen and shook her head. They chugged along at a comfortable twelve miles per hour, and Clarke’s grip relaxed a bit. Evidently, this speed was in her wheelhouse.

Lexa heard a shout and looked to her left.

There was Aden, on his bicycle, churning past them, flying in front of them, laughing and pointing and waving, making fun of their inept velocity. He got out his phone, and snapped a picture.

“Oh, for god’s sake Clarke, did you see that? He just passed us. On a bicycle!”

“Don’t take the bait. I know you wanna take that bait, but this speed is fine. I feel almost safe at this speed. I’m almost enjoying this.”

“Ugh. Just my luck. I have this gorgeous woman wrapped around me, and I’m going ten miles per hour,” Lexa mumbled under her breath, or so she thought.

“What did you say?” Clarke asked. She heard something about a gorgeous woman. Did Lexa just call her gorgeous? No. Did she? Yes, yes, she did. Clarke heard it. She felt a hot rush spread across her face. She bit her lip and smiled. Why did that make her feel so incredible?

“I just said, I can’t believe we’re going ten miles per hour. We might as well have taken a leisurely walk around the block.”

“That’s not what you said.” Clarke just left it at that.

Lexa could have sworn Clarke’s fingers were lightly stroking her belly. Unless it was the rub of her jacket. Although, she couldn’t imagine her jacket giving her a small boner. She smiled at her absurd thought. Yes, Clarke’s hands were perking up certain parts of her body. She had a brief image of grabbing those hands, and putting them to better use. Letting them stroke something else. She tried to distract herself from these unsavory thoughts, “So when do you want your dog lessons?”

Clarke actually shifted closer, if that was even possible, rested her chin on Lexa’s shoulder like a girlfriend would, “I don’t know. Soon I guess. When I get a free Saturday.”

“Okay,” Lexa answered.

“Maybe you could teach me some sign language while we’re at it.”

“How about we see if we survive the dog lessons, first.”

“Why wouldn’t we survive the dog lessons?”

“Well, as long as we steer clear of bathrooms, I guess we will.”

Clarke shifted again, and her hands slipped a little lower, falling below her belt line. Lexa softly groaned, and held the bike steady, not wanting to be part of the boxwoods lining the curb. Clarke must have realized what happened, and she gave a little “Sorry,” and put her hands back on Lexa’s abs. Lexa almost missed her turn. She tried to concentrate. But her traitorous thoughts got in the way. She knew sleep would be hard to come by tonight. Between the feeling of Clarke snuggled against her, those wandering hands, and the soft kiss they shared, she’d be lucky to find any peace at all in the overnight hours. She had a wild idea of gunning it out of there, taking Clarke back to her place, and showing her what she wanted those hands to do.

She was saved from further sexual anguish, as she coasted to a stop in front of the Jordan’s house. They were all waiting for them, sitting in the driveway. Aden had long ago returned from his bike ride. Maya started recording again as soon as they were in view.

Lexa stopped the bike and turned it off, put the kickstand down.

Aden rushed over to them, “You guys were so slow, I beat you on my bike!”

Clarke dismounted and removed her helmet. “There was nothing wrong with our speed. It was perfect.”

Lexa signed something to Aden, and he started giggling.

“Hey,” Clarke said, putting one hand on her hip, “no fairsies, again! What did you say?”

“Nothing,” Lexa said.

“She said you were scared to death,” Aden said.

“Hey, some friend you are, diming me out,” Lexa said lightheartedly.

“I wasn’t scared to death. Motorcycles are dangerous, you have to be very careful when you’re on them.” She handed her lid to Aden.

He put it on, climbed up behind Lexa, and whooped, “Let’s go!”

Clarke looked at Lexa before she drove off, still reeling from the earlier compliment. “Thanks for the ride,” she said, with a small smile.

Lexa’s lips turned up slightly, “Any time Clarke,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief that she didn’t wreck them. She turned the bike back on, and proceeded to take Aden for his ride.

“Did you have fun?” Maya asked Clarke, her video now complete. She would have to send it to Raven asap. Riding a motorcycle meant close contact, almost hugging really. Clexa just hugged for over five minutes. She was sure to get some sort of gold star for this. Or rather, Aden should, he was the true mastermind of operation Clexa tonight. She was proud of her son and his romantic scheming. A chip off the old block.

“It was good, still not my thing though. But it wasn’t so bad.” Clarke’s mind kept wandering back to Lexa’s abs. Not so bad, nope.

They all went inside to wait for Aden and Lexa to return. When they did, everyone decided that it was late, and it was time to call it a night.

Maya’s mind started churning, WWRD, WWRD!? “Hey, so, um, this was such good fun, maybe we could do it again soon.”

Jasper jumped right in. “Yeah, you know me, I love to barbecue. And you gotta try my hamburgers, Clarke, world class, right Lex?”

“You do make a mean burger, yeah,” Lexa agreed.

Clarke was all smiles, “I would love to do it again.” She looked over at her kissing adversary.

Lexa gave her a slight nod. “I’m in,” she said.

“Well,” Clarke looked around at all the happy faces in the room. “I should probably not drive on three glasses of wine. Maybe I could leave my car here?”

Aden tugged excitedly on Lexa’s hand, “Why don’t you take Clarke home on your bike?”

“Oh no, no,” Clarke was quick to say.

“Yeah, probably not a good idea, buddy. We all have to work tomorrow, and if I take her on the bike, we probably won’t get home ‘til Saturday.” Lexa chuckled at her own joke.

Clarke was not impressed. “Very funny. I can call a taxi, or Uber.”

“You mean juber?” Lexa asked.

“Well, aren’t you on a roll,” Clarke replied.

“I’m here all night,” Lexa said with a wink.

Maya came to the rescue. “Why don’t Jasper and I drive you home? I can drive our car, and Jasper can drive your car, that way you don’t have to come back here tomorrow to get it?”

Lexa ruffled Aden’s hair. “I can stay here with the dork ‘til you get back. I promised him a rematch of Call of Duty.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna put anybody out,” Clarke said.

Jasper would have none of it. “You’re only twenty minutes away, Clarke, it’s fine.”

Clarke relented, and they all got their jackets. Before she walked out the door to join Maya and Jasper, she gave Aden a hug. “Thanks bud, I had a great time.”

“Your rice pudding was awesome.” He gave her a little squeeze. “Maybe you can come walk dogs with me and Lex sometime?” he asked, looking up at her with adoring eyes.

“Sure, that sounds fun. It’s a date.” Her eyes landed on the brunette in front of her. Aden let her go, and headed back into the living room to set up the video game. He left the two women to stare at each other in awkward silence. Clarke lowered her gaze. “Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you soon. I’ll text you about the dog lessons.”

“Sure, I’m looking forward to working with you and Oliver.”

Clarke was unsure if a hug was in order. Or maybe nothing, no touching. Or just a handshake, which would involve minimal touching. She was at a loss on how to proceed. How could a simple goodbye be so complicated? Just hug her already, she thought. Or shake her damn hand. My god, you’ve kissed. More than once. Like, multiple times. Surely a small peck on the cheek was in order. There, simple. A hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye, like she would give Maya and Jasper later.

She decided to start the hug by reaching her hand out, moving in at the exact same time Lexa did, leaning in to place her lips softly on Lexa’s cheek for a quick smooch. What was that saying? The best laid plans? Because Lexa wasn’t expecting a kiss, just the hug, and she turned her head in the same direction Clarke was heading, leading to, not a kiss on the cheek, but one right on the mouth. And then Clarke’s lips moved, on their own volition, because it’s what they were used to doing when encountering Lexa’s lips. They really couldn’t be blamed. But then they kept moving, and to top it all off, she may have moaned. Jesus Christ. Where was her self-control?

She pulled back immediately, mortified by the lip motion, while at the same time giving herself props for keeping her tongue in her own mouth. “Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to do that,” and she shifted backwards, and clumsily stuck her hand out again to initiate a goodbye handshake, but realized how idiotic that must have looked, and let her hand fall back to her side. The whole thing was a mess. A sloppy, haphazard, inelegant mess. Clarke could barely contain her embarrassment. “Well, that was moronic,” she said.

And Lexa laughed. A rich, wonderful, lighthearted sound. She reached out, took Clarke’s hand, and gave a little squeeze and shake. “Goodbye Clarke. Talk to you soon.”

“Yeah, uh, bye.” Clarke opened the door and walked out towards the car, wondering if she would ever get to the point where she was comfortable around this woman.

 

* * *

 

_Clarke clung to Lexa, squeezing her, both arms wrapped around her waist as they flew down the road on her motorcycle. When they pulled into Clarke’s driveway, Lexa parked the bike. Clarke swung her leg over, and started towards the front door—turning around—walking backwards, her eyes beckoning. She slowly unzipped her jacket and shrugged it off her shoulders, dropping it on the ground, smiling seductively. Lexa was off the bike and following her now, eyes heavy with passion._

_Clarke opened the door, kicked off her boots, leaving them at the bottom of the steps. She ran upstairs, undressing and dropping her clothes as she went along. She was naked by the time she hit the doorway to her bedroom. She climbed on top of the covers and waited. She didn’t have to wait long, as Lexa showed up in her doorway—Clarke’s blue bra dangling from her fingertips as she rested her shoulder against the door jam._

_Lexa entered the room, smiling as she threw her jacket over a chair and slowly stripped. Clarke hung her mouth open, mesmerized by each new revelation of skin, hypnotized by the beautiful woman before her. She felt the moisture pool between her legs. All that was left was a red, lacey bra and matching, red, silk undies. A quick flick of Lexa’s fingers, and the red panties were history._

_Lexa reached the bed, putting her knee on it while taking off her bra and dropping it behind her, before crawling towards Clarke. She dragged herself up along the blonde’s body, and Clarke’s head fell backwards onto the pillow, her body weak and quaking from the contact of skin to skin._

_Lexa latched her mouth onto Clarke’s, her tongue pressing for entry, and Clarke obliged. Clarke clutched at her, nails raking down Lexa’s back, squeezing her ass, kneading it, pulling her closer. Soon Lexa’s mouth left hers, and trailed down her neck to her breasts, sucking in a nipple hungrily, gently biting and licking, fixating on the other one next, then alternating between the two until Clarke was a quivering, hot mess, her body liquid and loose._

_Suddenly, her legs were parted, and Lexa was between them, her mouth nibbling along her inner thighs, her fingers stroking through her wetness, lightly teasing, dragging through the moist heat pouring out of her. Clarke whimpered with lust, writhing against the brunette. She moaned as she felt Lexa’s mouth on her clit, and long, elegant fingers moving towards her center, then Lexa plunging one, two, three of them inside. Clarke gasped, her hips rocking upwards to meet Lexa’s mouth, to drive those fingers deeper, her body begging for release. The tension was exquisite and spiraled out of control. Clarke’s breath hitched, she shuddered and cried out, tumbling over the edge into oblivion, her groans echoing around the room as she climaxed—her fist wrapped in Lexa’s hair to hold her head still, wishing her tongue would never stop. When the last wave subsided, her body went limp. Suddenly, Lexa was kissing her, then whispering in her ear, “I love…”_

Clarke fell on the ground with a thud and woke up. At first she was disoriented, the dream still vivid in her mind, the aftershocks of the orgasm rippling through her body. She fought the urge to squeeze her legs together, to try and coax more sensations from her still sensitive clit. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, as her mind zeroed in on the last thing she heard. “Loved. Loved...what?” she said out loud, her voice groggy with sleep. “What do you love?” She looked around and realized that she was on the floor, having just fallen off the couch. Oliver was there, and started giving her some wet, sloppy kisses, clearly concerned about his mommy. She put her hand up to stop the slobbery onslaught, “Okay buddy, I’m good, thank you though. Not the kisses I want, but thank you.” Jinx stared at her wide-eyed. His tail had grown three sizes. Evidently, she scared the shit out of her cat.

Her brain was still foggy. Fuck. She had an orgasm. A real, fucking orgasm. From a dream. In her dream. From a dream? Who knows. But she had one. She was stunned. She didn’t think it was possible. She had been so close all those other times. Thank god she wasn’t in bed with Finn, because she was pretty sure she cried out. But how did she get on the couch? Her mind felt like a muddled, jumbled mess.

Slowly her memory came back to her. After Jasper and Maya dropped her off, she relaxed on the couch with Oliver and Jinx to watch a little TV, still feeling a little buzzed from the wine. Finn had come home late, and they chatted a little bit, but then he headed upstairs, and Clarke stayed down to finish the movie she was watching. She must have fallen asleep. And then she dreamed. Boy, did she dream. And then she had an orgasm in her dream. She really did. This was a first. And then she fell on the floor and woke herself up. Who falls off a couch? While having a dream orgasm? Evidently, she does.

Wait ‘til Raven hears this one. She was not gonna believe it. Wait. Good God. Should she tell Raven? She already knew they were kissing, knew Clarke was having sex dreams about her, why not? God knows she’d find it out somehow. Knowing Raven, she was probably tapped into Clarke’s laptop, listening to everything. Clarke should show up at her door with the biggest popcorn container there was and then just spill the beans.

She sighed. The dream was not fading, it was still fresh in her head. She didn’t know if she should analyze it, or just chalk it up to the fact that she and Lexa kissed again. This dream went further than any other. An orgasm _and_ an after moment. _I love_ …what? Riding a motorcycle? Eating nachos? Clarke loved nachos. Who doesn't say, _I love nachos_ , after giving someone an orgasm? She was sure it was something like that, definitely nothing to do with her. Right? She decided to try and put it out of her mind. No sense driving herself crazy over some half-spoken sentence, from a dream no less.

She vigorously rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, thinking about the kiss, the feeling of being pressed against Lexa on her motorcycle, this dream. She knew she had to rein in whatever this was. She had to make a conscious effort to stop it. It was just lust. Nothing more. Why? She had no idea. It had been a long time since she had sex with a woman, perhaps her body was craving it. And Lexa was attractive, causing her subconscious to go crazy. That’s all this was, sexual attraction. She needed to draw a line in the sand. This had to stop today. She was going to marry her best friend. He didn’t deserve this. It was time to recommit to her future husband. No more kissing.

 

* * *

 

Clarke came home early Friday morning from the hospital, around four a.m. to be exact. She shuffled in the door, and collapsed on the couch. She lost a patient tonight. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last time. But it still hit her hard. She should be used to it by now. She should be immune. Not cold-hearted about it, but it shouldn’t affect her so deeply. Tonight it was a bullet wound, and the patient had already lost a lot of blood by the time he made it to the hospital. He was only ten years old. His life was just beginning, and now it was over. It was a stray bullet. Clarke was on call, and was the one who scrubbed in. She did her best, but this time her best wasn’t good enough. And it made her feel worthless. And guilty that she didn’t save him. She sighed, and rested her head on the back of the couch. She mentally beat herself up, which was par for the course when this happened. Trying to figure out if she missed something, did she do something wrong. Silent tears escaped her eyes, he was so damn young. She never cried at the hospital. That was frowned upon in her family. Cry in private, not in public.

Oliver bounded up on the couch and lay next to her. She reached out a hand and absently stroked his head, thankful for his doggy companionship. Dog ownership was certainly growing on her. Even Jinx had been won over. Well, maybe not won over, he would still reach out and give a whack to Ollie’s nose on occasion, just to make sure Ollie remembered the pecking order in the household.

Her eyes started to feel heavy, and she fell asleep for a few hours. She was woken up by the doorbell. She jolted upright, and looked at her watch. It was eight a.m. She ran a hand through her hair, knowing that it probably looked like a rat’s nest, and headed for the door. When she opened it, she was surprised to see Lexa standing there with her hands behind her back. “Oh, hey. You’re picking up today?”

“Good morning, Clarke. And yes, I have pick up duty today. Had some people call in sick.” Lexa took in Clarke’s disheveled appearance, “Long night?”

“I lost a patient last night, I guess I fell asleep down here.”

Lexa’s heart went out to her. She could see the devastation in Clarke’s face. She reached out to smooth down an errant curl that was sticking straight up. “Let me just fix that for you. It’s sticking up a little. Surprised you’re not picking up cable TV,” she said lightly, trying to get Clarke to smile.

Clarke waved her inside. “I know, my hair’s a mess. Go ahead, tell me how I’ve got bad hair.”

“Hey, I’m not gonna kick you when you’re down.” Lexa tried to lighten the mood, “I mean give me a little credit. I’ll tell you that next week.” She saw that Clarke was too far gone to banter. She softened her tone. “I’m sorry about your patient. I’m sure you did all you could.”

“It wasn’t enough,” Clarke snapped, instantly regretting her tone. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, you can snap at me if it makes you feel better.”

“It’s not okay. I shouldn’t be taking my mood out on you. Let me get Oliver. He was sleeping on the couch with me, not sure where he got to. Which I’m sure doesn’t shock you.”

“What? That you always seem to lose track of your dog? It’s gotten kind of endearing, actually,” Lexa said with a soft smile.

Clarke stared at her, feeling her mood lighten a little bit. She found she liked gazing into those green eyes when she was awake. She suddenly wished she could see more of them. “I’m sure I can find him. Wait here.”

“Really? We’re not going on a dog finding mission together?”

“Well, you’re welcome to join me in the search if you want.”

“I live for these adventures with you. Where’s Phil?” Lexa asked, trying to coax a smile out of Clarke.

She was rewarded by a small smile that made it up to those blue eyes, and the whole look was so captivating. Like the Clarke from the other night, smiling and teasing her at the dinner table.

“Not here.” She led the way through the house, towards the back door. “Maybe he went out the doggie door.”

“Who, Phil?”

Clarke turned around and gave her a bigger smile. “No, silly. He’s in Portland for a couple days at a conference.” They both looked out the kitchen window to the backyard. And there he was, in all his muddy glory, Oliver digging away, and from the size of the hole, he’d been digging for a while. “Welp, there’s my dog, digging a monster-sized hole out there.” Clarke tried to recall the nice snuggly feeling she had earlier on the couch, with Oliver curled up next to her.

Lexa peeked out the window. “Hm, maybe he’s burying a bone.”

“Like a brontosaurus bone?” Clarke asked. Lexa laughed at her joke and Clarke felt a thrill in her own bones, and a familiar, tingling sensation in her groin. “Like a thigh bone,” Clarke continued, “a big old brontosaurus thigh bone, about yea big,” and Clarke stretched her arms out, but realized bronto bones were probably much bigger than that. “Only I’m too short to give the visual.”

Lexa smiled at her, green eyes twinkling, a smile that lit up her whole face. “I got the visual,” she said with a wink.

Clarke once again caught herself staring. And wondering. Wondering about the warmth she was feeling right now. Not the lustful heat, but a genuine, caring warmth. Her dream from the other night seeped into her brain, I love…I love...This warmth scared her. The lust was easily explained away, but this wasn’t. Was it just an offshoot of the lust? Did something shift in their relationship? Did the shift happen at dinner the other night? This shift towards something other than sexual attraction? She wondered what the hell she was going to do about it. Ignore it, probably. Or try to ignore it. She heard her mother’s voice in her head, it’s a phase, Clarke. You’ll get over it. That’s what she’d do, get over it. It was just lust and nothing more. Stop imagining things, imagining feelings that weren’t really there. She drew her line in the sand the other morning, best not to cross it.

“I’ll just call him in,” Clarke said as she went to the back door, “Oliver, come.” He looked up at her, and came racing back to the house.

“Oh, Clarke, might not wanna do that,” Lexa warned.

“Why?” she asked as she opened the door. And in came Oliver, bringing with him half the backyard. “Oh crap, crap, crap.” Clarke watched as muddy paw prints went all over the kitchen floor, out into the hallway, into the living room and onto her couch. She just watched, helplessly. She looked at Lexa and saw pity in her eyes. Of course, the dog had muddy paws, he was digging a ginormous hole. Christ. Once again, she looked like a dog-owning moron in front of this woman. “Oops?” she said, raising her shoulders. She started to giggle at the absurdity of the situation.

“Oops is right. Yikes. That’s a lot of mud.” Lexa was trying not to laugh. “I can stay and help you clean it up if you want.”

“No, no. I’m the idiot who let the muddy dog into the house. You must think...I don’t know what you must think. Of me. I’m getting a little better. I know his name,” she said in a small voice.

Lexa chuckled, “Yeah. And, he came when you called him. There’s that, too. Look, don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re just not dog savvy. Yet. I’ll be giving you and he some lessons, you’ll be an expert in no time.” They both walked out into the living room, and Lexa leashed him up and pulled him off the couch.

“Yeah. Don’t think I’ll ever be dog savvy.”

Lexa suddenly found that she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay here and try to keep Clarke smiling. She wanted to brighten her day. She wanted to make her forget her troubles. The last few days had been difficult for Lexa, wrestling with her feelings. Trying to figure out if what she felt the other night at the Jordans was real, or just a figment of her imagination, helped along by alcohol and Clarke’s body next to hers.

“Look, I’ve got a little bit of time, I’m early, there’s nobody else in the van right now, I’m gonna help you clean this mess up.”

Clarke relented, and they got out some mops and a bucket with soapy water, and they cleaned up the mess. When they were finished, they put all the cleaning supplies away, and Lexa headed to the door with Oliver in tow. This was a much cleaner version of Oliver, because Lexa had taken him out back, and rinsed him off with the hose.

When Lexa got to the front door, she paused and turned around. Clarke had followed close behind her, and now they both stood, inches apart.

Lexa noticed that Clarke’s eyes looked vacant again, and she knew where her thoughts went. “You okay?” she asked.

Clarke blinked and looked at her. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She paused a little bit. “He was ten years old.”

“Oh Clarke, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s part of the job. But it’s something that I don’t think I’ll ever get used to.” Her eyes filled up a little bit.

Lexa stared at her, but Clarke was looking away, lost in her thoughts again. Lexa’s eyes wandered over Clarke’s face, and rested on her lips. The ache to make Clarke feel better was now overwhelming her. She needed to do something. She kept looking from sad, blue eyes to beautiful lips, and she knew what she wanted to do. It became crystal clear. She knew it wasn’t right, she knew it wasn’t the time for it, that it was wrong, but she did it anyway.

She dropped Oliver’s leash, reached out, cupping Clarke’s face, and brought her closer for a kiss, not angry, like the first two times, more like the last one, a soft, hesitating, exploring kind of kiss. Her lips moved over Clarke’s, grazing them. She pulled back a little, her lips hovering over Clarke’s, waiting for resistance, waiting for Clarke’s hand to come between them again. When that didn’t happen, she moved in to continue. She felt Clarke’s hand on her back, not pushing her away, but keeping their bodies close. Lexa opened her mouth slightly and the tip of her tongue caressed Clarke’s upper lip, and Clarke did the same back.

A soft, little sigh escaped Clarke’s mouth, as the kiss continued. Time stopped for them both, as they got lost in each other. Lexa’s one hand slipped down Clarke’s back, and pulled her closer still. When the kisses became deeper, when passion flared up, Clarke slowly broke it off, and leaned her forehead against Lexa’s. Her heart felt like it was flopping all over her chest cavity, it was beating so erratically. Were infatuations supposed to feel like this? They stayed connected this way for another minute, as their breathing slowed, pulses returning to some semblance of normal. Clarke finally pulled away, because guilt can be a powerful thing. She turned, and slid down the wall to sit on the floor, her legs splayed out straight in front of her.

Lexa joined her, both leaning their heads against the wall, not looking at each other, but looking straight ahead. Somehow, Clarke felt her hand being held in Lexa’s. She wasn’t sure when she slipped it in there, but it was so warm and comforting, she didn’t want to remove it. They just sat in silence, each struggling with the moment, each wondering where to now.

“Lexa…” Clarke said, then hesitated, not even knowing what else she was going to say, just needing to say her name. Finally.

Lexa softly smiled as she continued to stare straight ahead, “Who’s Lexa?” Then she turned her head, and looked at Clarke, and they both started chuckling at the joke.

Clarke looked down at their clasped hands and knew it was wrong, that this whole thing was wrong, the kissing was wrong, the dreaming was wrong, the hand holding was wrong. But why did it feel so fucking right? Clarke had to fight the urge to keep their hands clasped, and lead Lexa upstairs to her bedroom. Her inner voice hissed at her, Stop it. It’s an infatuation, get a hold of yourself. You’re with Finn, you’re committed to Finn.

She slowly let go of Lexa’s hand and sighed. She tried to gather her thoughts, figure out what she needed to say to this woman who had shaken her to her very core. She looked over at Lexa, who now had her knees pulled in tight to her body and her arms resting on them, chin resting on her arms. She fought back the urge to reach out and push a wayward strand of hair away from her eyes, tuck it behind her ear. She was overwhelmed by a feeling. A feeling that she wanted to get to know her better, no, she needed to get to know her better, she wanted to spend time with her. She just had to curb the physical attraction, that was all. How hard could it be?

“So...” Clarke started. Lexa looked over at her and smiled, and Clarke prayed for strength. “Maybe we should call another truce.”

Lexa was unclear where Clarke was heading with this. “Okay?”

“You know how sometimes, you meet someone, and you maybe find them attractive, but then, the more you get to know them, the more you become friends, that initial physical attraction fades, into, just a...friendship. Know what I mean?”

“Yeah?”

Clarke wondered if she sounded like an idiot, asking for Lexa’s hand in friendship. But she pushed on. “Maybe we could be friends, you know, hang out, get to know each other better. Then, maybe this,” Clarke struggled with the words to describe this intense lust, without actually saying lust, “this, whatever this is, will stop. I, god, I shouldn’t be doing this, I’m awful for doing this to him. But, I think,” Clarke knew she was babbling and probably not making sense, “I think, I’d like to get to know you, like, as a friend.” She groaned, she knew she was not verbalizing this very well. All they’ve been doing was arguing from day one, all she’d been doing was being difficult and snobby, uptight and rude. Who would want to be friends with someone like that?

Lexa could sense the internal battle that Clarke was waging within herself. She was so confused by her own feelings right now that she couldn’t even think clearly. Maybe later, when she was alone, she could sort all this out. She looked at Clarke, and was met by blue eyes that screamed for understanding, and acceptance. “Uh, okay, I guess. I’d like that. Friends.” Maybe that was the way to end this thirst, this craving, take the edge off. Getting to know each other as friends. Of course, the exact opposite could also happen, but she was quick to squash that thought.

“Really?” Clarke asked hopefully.

“Yes, absolutely. No more arguing. Which was kinda fun by the way.”

“Fun? God, you thought it was fun?”

“Yeah, I enjoyed it actually, gave me something to look forward to.”

“I guess it was kind of fun, now that I think about it.” Clarke took a deep breath. “You really wanna try the friendship thing then?”

Lexa nodded her head. “Yes, why not? What could possibly go wrong?” Oh, a little thing like love, her inner demon screamed.

“Good. I’m not a bad person, I know you probably find that hard to believe,” Clarke said.

“I know that. I can see through your cat-loving nature.”

“Do you really wanna go there?” Clarke asked, smiling.

“No,” Lexa said sheepishly. She loved her kittens.

“So, no more kissing, we have to stop that.”

“Damn. Don’t friends kiss?”

“Not like that.”

Lexa also thought it best to stop kissing, it was driving her nuts. “I think I’m gonna miss the kisses,” Lexa said with a tinge of regret.

“Stop it,” Clarke said, giving her a playful little shove.

“No, you’re a good kisser, Clarke.”

“Oh, now you admit it,” Clarke teased.

“I see the light.”

“Took you long enough.”

“I was stubborn. I can be very stubborn,” Lexa said.

“I told you I was a good kisser. You refused to believe me.”

“I should’ve listened.”

Clarke shook her head. “You are stubborn. But, you’re also a good kisser.”

“Truth be told, I was crushed when you said I wasn’t.”

“I was just being bitchy. I’m sorry. Forgive me? Friend? Lexa?” What took her so long to use her correct name? It was a sexy name, she thought. Oh boy. That wasn’t a very friendly thought.

Lexa grinned. Maybe playful, smiling Clarke would be a fun friend to have. “Forgiven. Now, I hate to break up this little friendship party, but, unfortunately, I do have to get to work.” She got up, put her hand out, and pulled Clarke off the floor.

“Yeah, I should get in the shower. I have to be back at work in six hours.”

Lexa retrieved Oliver from the sofa, where he had settled back down to nap. She led him back to the door where Clarke was waiting. She stopped. She wasn’t quite sure how friends said goodbye. But she didn’t have to obsess over it too long, as Clarke reached out and pulled her into a fierce hug.

Clarke released Lexa. “That’s okay, right? Friends do hug hello and goodbye.”

“They sure do, and sometimes they kiss,” Lexa said flirtatiously.

“Stop it, you.” Clarke really didn’t want her to stop. She did like the flirting. As long as she maintained her self-control, this would all work out.

“Okay, I’m leaving, without my goodbye kiss. Call me when you wanna get together for your doggie lessons.”

“I will, probably be in the next few days,” Clarke said as Lexa walked out the door and down her walkway. “Bye Lexa.”

Lexa turned around. “Bye, Clarke.” Clarke’s radiant smile took her breath away. Double dutch fucked for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed our little Clexa softening moment. Did you like the line, “Who’s Lexa?” I’ve been waiting for 16 chapters to say that dorping line!! I swear to god. I thought of it after I wrote the very first scene of this story. Eight months ago. Took me 93k words to get to it. I’ve been setting it up for 93,000 words. Yes, I’m a dork. But we know this.  
> Next chapter, our Raven will be back, and Luna, too. Think Paintball!  
> Send me your pet pics if you want, via email, cardwire1@aol.com, or the [tumblr](https://lorig11.tumblr.com/).  
> 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chock full of Raven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year my dear readers! I have missed you all. I know it's been about a month, I'm truly sorry, holidays and all that jazz kept getting in the way. It's seven below F here. And that F stands for "fuck it's cold."  
> After posting the last chapter, some of you told me that you never received an email notice from ao3. So make sure you're caught up. You may need to go back and read the previous one. And it might suck cause I never heard from Chuck.  
> Let's start with the usual, my acknowledgements: thank you to LisaM, who prods and pokes me, she even came up with a clever sentence that I used. Might as well let her write the rest of this story. And E, of course. For being my future daughter. I really need her to come shovel my sidewalks.  
> I want to give a shout out to one of my loyal readers and tumblr buds, who is writing her first story. It's a supercorp fanfic called, [Well it's just a little crush is all.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12390339/chapters/28190727) I'm sure some of you peeps read that fandom also. Give it a try, send her some love, myshipissyncing is her handle.  
> Our pictures this chapter. OK, first up, Delirious 'upping the ante' Jer ended up in Tibet last month. These are pictures from Mt. Everest, people. Mt. dorping Everest. She could not get a pic with her reading the chapter on the phone, cause she said it was too cold at base camp. Sounds like she should've sucked it up to me. If she could have gotten that shot, I would've never posted pictures again, cause it would have been, in her words, "epic." She did manage to get one in front of a famous monastery. I'm too lazy to look the name up. Suffice to say it was long and hard to pronounce.  
> Alright, what's next? Atomic Brunette, with my future pony, Martin. Hm, I better check on her, it looks like he ate her. But there he is, airing it the dorp out. And then she got creative with the phone and the chapter also.  
> Next, from gruffalo26, her family portrait of Chewbacca, Gruffalo, Peanut, and Pumpkin. Then her favorite child and namesake, Gruffalo, and his "laser" ( lil shout out to Austin Powers) beam focus on his ball.  
> Our cat in the blue teepee, Aiko from Carla. Look at those blue eyes, they match his digs. But don't let those soft blue eyes fool you, cat's a killer. Brings a dead bird home every day and proudly drops it under their bed. I'm a bird watcher, so this disturbs me. I've written to him but he laughs at me, as only cats can do.  
> Last row, from Roo, my #aussiestrong friend, sends me this. Yes, she who introduced us to the huntsman spider, she who almost took a selfie with Spidey McSpidie, sends along her mom's lil kitty cat, Mim. A domestic house cat. I'm a little disappointed. A cat? From #aussiestrong? Dorp. Where's the fifteen foot croc? Where's the twenty foot great white shark? Where's spidey????  
> And lastly, our chapterly Dufus Direwolf pic. Here she looks like an actual real dog.  
> So keep sending me pet pics! Or chapter reading pics!

 

 

 

 

**Base Camp at Mt. Everest. How cold could it have been? Wus.  And, one of the rare sunsets where you can see the mountain. Amazing.**

  
**Delirious Jer in front of something something Monastery  
**

**Martin the chubs. Possibly digesting AB as we speak. Then that little porky pony got down and aired it out!**

**Ab is very creative.  
**

**Family Portait, Chewbacca, Gruffalo, Peanut, Pumpkin              Gruff, favorite son                       Aiko, bird killer supreme**                       

**Mim, ho hum, just a cat, airing it out. Maybe she just got done killing something.      Dufus, pretending shes's a real dog.  
**

 

**Chapter 17**

 

Clarke was putting away her groceries on Sunday morning when her phone rang. “Hello?”

“Yo Clarkie! You home?” Raven asked.

“I just got back from the store, why?”

“We have your steam cleaner, we’ll drop it off in a few.”

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

“We’re bringing our dogs, so they can trash your house.”

“Great.”

“And O’s on the rag, just so you know.”

“What does that mean?”

“She’s got her monthly Clarke, what do you think it means?”

“I meant…” she sighed. “Never mind. You gonna want lunch?”

“We always want lunch, Clarke, what a silly question. See you in five.”

Clarke hung up. Good thing she just went shopping. She had plenty of lettuce and veggies, so she decided to make everyone a salad. She also had some leftover chicken from last night’s dinner she could add. Five minutes did not give her a lot of time to contemplate whether she should come clean with her Lexa situation. She was mentally exhausted from keeping it all inside. Might be time to just lay it all on the table. Good thing Finn was golfing. She got out what she needed from the fridge and began cutting up carrots, onions, and peppers.

Exactly ten minutes went by and her doorbell rang. She put down her knife and walked through the living room to the foyer, opening the front door. In charged Roscoe and Rocky, followed by O and Raven.

Raven lugged the big steam cleaner through the doorway. “This fucker is heavy.”

“Be careful!” O chided.

Clarke hugged each of them. She watched as their dogs bounced all over the furniture, lying on the couch, standing on her coffee table, chasing Jinx up on the dining room table. Roscoe grabbed a throw pillow from her overstuffed chair and ran around the room like he had a prized squirrel in his mouth.

“Your dogs could use some discipline,” Clarke said, as Rocky actually jumped up onto the dining room table, chasing Jinx further north to the china cabinet. In hindsight, she should have re-gifted those dog lessons.

“They’re energetic, Clarke,” Raven said. “This thing worked great, where do you want me to put it?”

“In the hall closet is fine. You could’ve kept it, I don’t need it anymore.”

“Don’t your carpets get dirty?”

“Oliver ate them all,” Clarke said, as she led them back to the kitchen.

“Oh. Speaking of Ollie, where is he?”

“Out back.”

O went to gather up the pups and usher them into the backyard.

Clarke set the table. “I made salad with chicken.”

“Sounds yummy,” O said.

The three girls sat around the kitchen table, enjoying their salads, making small talk about their week. When they were done, Clarke went to the cabinet and pulled out the biggest bowl she had. It was bigger than a punch bowl. She set it in front of the girls, who looked at her questioningly. She went back to the cabinet, returning with a big bag of popcorn. She poured it into the bowl, and sat down heavily in her chair.

O and Raven shifted in their seats, anticipation building. They associated popcorn with Clexa. A big reveal was coming, they could feel it in their bones!

Clarke looked at them both. They looked like children on Christmas morning, waiting to open presents. She cleared her throat. “As I’m sure you’re aware, there has been some, uh, physical interactions between Lexa and I.”

Raven’s hand snaked into the bowl. O put her elbow on the table, rested her chin in her hand.

As Raven shoved a healthy handful of popcorn into her mouth she said, “Please continue.” A kernel or two escaped and landed on the table.

“We have…kissed.”

“And?” Raven asked.

“That’s it, we kissed.”

The disappointment was evident on both their faces. This was not new information. They had much higher expectations for the big reveal.

O turned to Raven and leaned close to her ear, “I thought we were gonna hear about something other than the kissing,” she said dejectedly.

Raven consoled her, “I know babe, it’s okay.” She rubbed her back sympathetically.

Clarke thought her finally admitting to the kissing was juicy information. “What? We kissed.”

“Everyone knows you kissed, Clarke,” Raven scolded, holding O’s head to her shoulder now, stroking her hair.

“Wait, everyone? Who’s everyone?”

“Does it matter Clarke?” Raven asked, using her eyes to direct Clarke’s attention to Octavia, who seemed to be holding back tears now, sniffling a little. “The damage is done.”

“Oh my god, you’re both ridiculous. Are you crying? Is she crying?”

“Clarke, she’s on her period,” Raven chided. “Show some compassion. You know she’s extra sensitive this time of the month.”

“And I have mood swings,” O said through her sniffles.

“It’s okay, baby, Clarke’s sorry. Say you’re sorry Clarke.”

Clarke was a little unclear as to what she was apologizing for. “I’m sorry, O.” She could tell from the look Raven was giving her that her apology was not sufficient. “For…upsetting you. For causing your mood to…swing…down?”

Raven handed O a napkin from the table, so she could blow her nose.

Clarke continued to watch them both battle their despondency. Desperate to be relevant, Clarke blurted out, “We kissed multiple times!”

Raven became mildly interested. “Define multiple.”

“More than once.”

“Like, ten times?”

“No,” Clarke was quick to answer. “Not ten times.”

“More than three?” O asked, perking up, her mood starting to lift.

Clarke scrunched up her face in concentration, picturing each kiss, counting them up, her face taking on a pink hue as the memories resurfaced in her brain. “Yes, more than three.”

“More than twenty?” Raven asked.

Clarke shook her head emphatically, “No, not more than twenty. Twenty?”

“Just checking, you guys have been together in bathrooms an awful lot lately. So, more than five?”

“No, not more than five.”

“Huh. That would be, what…”

“Do you need a calculator?” Clarke asked sarcastically.

“No, I don’t. Let’s see, more than three, but less than five. That makes four.” Raven began ticking off the times she knew about. “Our bathroom, that was obvious. The golf course, although I would consider that more than a kiss,” Raven said, arching her brow suggestively.

“Ah, so that was you who came in?”

“Yes, and I still haven’t recovered from that little burlesque show, might wanna try locking a door once in a while. Then Maya’s house…”

She looked suspiciously at Raven. “You two talked, didn’t you? Were you texting her that night?”

“We all talk, Clarke. So that’s three, when was four?”

Clarke was determined to get to the bottom of who exactly “we” was. “Who all knows?” she demanded.

“That’s not important, when was four Clarke? When was the fourth kiss?”

Clarke would have to pry that out of her later. “This past Friday, here at the house.”

Both girls exchanged a look.

“Two days ago? You kissed here? In your house?” O asked, wiping at her eyes.

Raven got up and did a quick check of the powder room. “All clear in here,” she called out. “Do I need to check the master bath?”

Clarke looked to the heavens and sighed. “We didn’t kiss in the bathroom.”

Raven came back and sat down, “Where did you kiss?”

“By the front door. But that was the last time. We both made a decision.”

Raven took some more popcorn, “You’re getting married.”

“What? No. We’re gonna try and get to know each other better.”

“So, you’re gonna start dating,” Raven said.

“No, that’s not what I meant. We’re gonna be friends.”

“So, friends who have sex,” Raven stated, pointing her finger at Clarke for emphasis, grabbing some more popcorn with the other hand.

“That’s not what I said. Just regular friends.”

“Who have sex,” Raven said with a nod of her head, making sure everyone was clear.

Clarke’s frustration spilled over. “Oh my god. I’m gonna kill you! Nobody is having sex. And nobody is kissing anymore! I’m engaged.”

“To…Lexa.”

Clarke was at her wit’s end.

O held up a hand, “So, just to encapsulate,” she wiggled her fingers, looking for recognition of her Word of the Day, her mood on a violent upswing.

“Word of the day, word of the day,” Raven said, and the conversation halted as they completed their ritual.

O continued, “So, just to encapsulate, you think, that if you become friends, you’ll stop being attracted to each other?” O asked.

“Exactly,” Clarke said, spreading her hands wide. “Thank you, O.” Clarke took a deep breath and let it out. Finally, some understanding.

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Raven said.

“Red flag word, babe,” O said, “This is good popcorn.”

“It’s Skinny Pop,” Clarke said, reaching for a handful. “Supposed to be better for you.”

“Well then, it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Raven said.

O reached for her water, “Still red flag.”

“Well, it’s pretty dumb and it’s pretty stupid. I don’t know another word for dumb and stupid.”

“It’s not dumb.” Clarke tossed a few kernels at Raven’s head. “It’s actually very smart. You’ll see. We’ll be buds in no time, like you and I are buds.”

Raven looked pensive. “I’m a little confused with your definition of buds, Clarke. I don’t think I’ve ever had my hand up your cooch.”

Clarke opened her mouth, ready to deny with a sharp retort, but then she remembered the bathroom on the golf course. And yes, Lexa did have her hand on Clarke’s lady bits. She closed her mouth. Recalculating… “Well, you know what I mean. Lexa and I will become friends, and we’ll look back on all this kissing stuff, and attraction stuff, and we’ll laugh.” Clarke was pretty damn sure everything would work out. Well, sort of sure. Well, she hoped it would work out. Okay, she prayed that it would work out.

“Well, good luck with that, Clarke,” O said, her voice now tinged with sadness, her mood starting to plummet, her eyes pooling up with moisture. She reached for another napkin.

“What’s happening?” Clarke asked, befuddled. She swore O was happy just a mere moment ago. She looked to Raven for an explanation.

“Welcome to my world, Clarke. Every month for five days.” She turned her attention to her now sniffling girlfriend. “Hey babe, it’s okay, I’m sure Clarke will fix all this.”

“What now? What am I fixing?”

Raven rubbed Octavia’s head, “And don’t you worry, I’m still bringing the popcorn,” she stated. “Like, everywhere I go. Just to encapsulate.”

* * *

Lexa was sitting at her kitchen table working on her laptop, catching up on emails. She was finding it hard to concentrate, as had been the case ever since she last saw Clarke almost a week ago. Was it almost a week? Surely, it was more. No, today was Wednesday. It was not quite a week. God, she was on her mind this much, and it had only been five damn days? And all she’d been doing these past five days was struggling with conflicting feelings. Waging a war with them. One part of her was excited to get to know Clarke better as a friend, the other part of her was filled with dread, the thought of being around her, constantly battling her attraction. She prayed for Clarke to be right. That the attraction would fade the more they got to know each other. There was that small sliver of doubt, however. Who was she kidding? It was bigger than a sliver.

Her dream last night had been a doozy. She was walking with Clarke in the mall, a child between them, a little girl with a mass of curly blonde hair. She looked like a tiny angel. They each had one of the little girl’s hands, swinging her back and forth, to the child’s delight. Her laughter ringing out, making them both smile. Great, now she was having babies with Clarke. Rubber duck fucked.

She looked up and started laughing at one of the kittens, the swatter. He was walking along Milo’s back, like he was balancing on a rolling log, swaying this way and that, but never falling off. She took out her phone and took a quick video of the high wire act. She brought it up to make sure it turned out. Her fingers hovered over it, itching to send it to Clarke, the one person who would appreciate it. They hadn’t spoken since last Friday. She was hesitant to reach out to her. She had no idea why. Maybe this was the ice breaker she needed. She hit the message button and sent it off.

The reply was instant and made Lexa laugh.

 

Clarke was relaxing in the surgeon’s lounge, killing time before she had to meet her mom for coffee. She rested her head on the back of the couch, closing her eyes. Lexa’s face swam into view, her soft smile, the light scattering of freckles across her nose, so faint, almost invisible. But not when you were close, not when you were invading her personal space. Then they were visible. Her phone buzzed with a text, and she assumed it was her mom wanting to meet now. When she looked at who it was from, a huge smile broke across her face. Suddenly, it was like a gloomy day brightened, like the sun peeked through the clouds, like a warm breeze filled the air. She felt extraordinarily light on the inside. She laughed out loud at Lexa’s kitten dancing along the back of a very large pit bull. It was quite comical.

_=cat lover=_ Clarke typed. She waited, seeing the tell-tale reply bubbles.

_=i give up. what can i say? they’ve melted my cold dog loving heart=_

Clarke knew there was no way Lexa’s heart was cold. But she didn’t want to send any mixed signals by saying that. So, she kept it light.   _=ah ha! i knew it! now about those names…=_

_=oh i named them=_ Lexa messaged.

_=and?=_

_=guess you’ll have to visit sometime to find out=_

_=boo!=_   Clarke waited for a reply, but instead got a picture of Lexa’s kittens curled up in her kitchen sink, playing with each other’s tails. The smile on Clarke’s face expanded, as she typed _=SFA=_

_= ? =_

_=super fucking adorable=_ Clarke explained.

_=LOL. SFA, i like that. so what are you doing=_ Lexa asked.

_=just got out of surgery=_

_=did it go well=_

_=it did=_

_=don’t need any ‘friendly’ comfort=_

_=LOL i think i’m good=_ Clarke hesitated, then shrugged and texted _=this time=_ She knew that last part may have been overstepping the friendship boundary a smidge, was categorically mixing the signals, but she couldn’t help herself. Why, it was the perfect setup. It begged for such a response. She would have felt bad if she didn’t say it.

_=wha?=_

Clarke didn’t want to explain, so she changed the subject. _=what are you doing=_ Clarke asked.

_=just sitting here reading my emails. watching my kittens. took that video and thought of you, figured you might like it=_

_=aw, so you thought of me? such a sweet ‘friend’=_ Clarke typed. She sent the text, then added, _=wait til jinx hears about this=_

Lexa sent a scared-face emoji. _=your cat frightens me=_

_=OMG YOU’RE a scaredy cat! =_ Clarke found a gif of a scared kitty, back arched, tail erect, and sent it along.

She was soon gifted with another video, one of the kittens playing fetch. Clarke watched as a small fuzzy ball was launched across the room, chased down, picked up and brought back to Lexa’s feet. She laughed. _=they fetch better than oliver=_

_=don’t you worry lil lady we’ll learn that dog some fetch ;)=  
_

Clarke giggled at Lexa’s use of words. _=learnin’ and a fetchin’ sounds like a plan=_

  _= :) ok, clarke, gotta roll, have a good one. talk soon?=_

_=def. bye lex=_

Clarke was so absorbed in her conversation that she didn’t even notice Monty standing in the doorway watching her.

“Who are you talking to?” Monty asked.

Clarke looked up, startled. “Oh god, you scared me. I didn’t know you were there.”

Monty chuckled. “I’ve been here for about twenty seconds. Is that Finn?”

“Finn? Ah, no, why?”

“Oh, I just assumed. You were positively beaming, so I thought you were texting with him.”

“No, just a friend of mine.”

“That’s not a person of romantic interest, is it?” Monty said, jokingly.

“Why do you say that?” Clarke asked, a little too quickly.

“I don’t know, you just looked...super happy. Haven’t seen you look like that in a long time.”

Clarke lightly played it off, to cover her ass. “Well, it’s just Lexa. Did you meet her at Raven’s party?”

“Brunette?”

“Yeah.”

“Really pretty?”

“Yeah.”

“I did. She seemed really nice.”

“She is. She’s really nice. She’s great actually.” Clarke bit her lip. Oh god, did she gush? That was definitely a gush. Reel it in Clarke. “I mean, yeah, she’s okay.”

“Oh, now she’s just okay?” Monty teased.

“What? No, I mean, yeah, she’s nice…”

“Clarke,” Monty interrupted, “I’m just busting on you, you don’t have to defend yourself. This is and always has been a no judgement zone, am I right?” Monty grabbed his satchel out of his locker.

Clarke looked relieved at Monty’s reaction. “Yeah. I just like her I guess.”

“I can tell. It’s fun to make new friends.” Monty started out the door, then turned, “It’s good to see you smiling. And if she makes you that happy, you should hang out with her more.”

Sometimes Clarke felt like Monty could see into her soul.

* * *

Lexa was enjoying a nice, hot shower on a lazy, Saturday morning. As she ran her soapy loofah over her breasts, her mind went rogue. Suddenly it was Clarke’s hands on her, Clarke’s breasts pressed into her back. A small, quiet moan escaped her mouth as her hand dipped lower, between her legs, only it was Clarke’s hands, searching and coaxing. The rational side of her brain knew that this was not something that happened between friends, but the thought of Clarke’s hands roaming her body completely short circuited all rational thought.

She continued to stroke herself as her daytime fantasy continued. She leaned her forehead against the wall of the shower. The warm water running over her limbs only added to the dream-like quality of the moment. Her breath quickened in response to her touches, Clarke’s touches, _her_ fingers pinching and pulling her nipples, _her_ hand sliding through silky folds. The image of Clarke, naked and grinding against her, whispering dirty words into her ear, was sending her into overdrive. She was close now, only a few more seconds...

The bathroom door opened. She jumped, knocking the hand-held shower attachment off its perch, and it crashed to the tub floor, but not before bouncing off her foot. She cursed, the moment was lost. And her toe hurt. She pulled back the curtain a little, poked her head out, and watched as Luna came in and sat on top of the toilet seat.  

“Hey,” Luna said, getting comfortable. “You okay in there?”

“Uh, I’m showering here.”

Luna took stock of Lexa’s flushed face, deducing that it may be more than just shower flush. “Is that all you’re doing in there?” she asked with raised eyebrows.

Jesus Christ. Luna was in super detective mode. “What? What do you mean? I’m showering.” Lexa quickly whipped the curtain closed. Making herself invisible to Luna’s prying eyes. That’s all she needed, to be forced to confess to whacking it in the shower while thinking of her newly minted friend. “And you left the door open,” she said, a little crankiness creeping into her voice.

“It’s hot in here.”

“Hello? That’s because I’m taking a shower.”

Luna compromised, and used her foot to half shut the door. “I haven’t talked to you in a while, just thought I’d check in.”

Lexa poked her head out again, making sure to keep the rest of her body covered. Anybody else and she wouldn’t care about being naked. But this was Luna. “You saw me at Raven’s party.”

“Seems like a long time ago.”

“It was two weeks ago.”

“Nice shower cap.”

“It’s not hair washing day, I didn’t wanna get it wet.” Lexa liked her shower cap, although she realized that it might be construed as a little dorky. It did have tiny, little ducks on it.

“How’s Clarke?”

Lexa closed the curtain and continued with her shower, not liking the direction of the conversation. She knew both Luna and Anya would have strong opinions of the situation. “She’s fine, why?”

“Anya said you golfed with her a couple weeks ago.”

“Yeah, so?” Lexa heard the lid lift on the toilet. She heard the soft tinkle of water. “Are you peeing?”

“Yeah.”

“Can’t you use the other bathroom?”

“I’m right here.”

“So inappropriate.”

Luna chuckled, “Don’t be such a prude, Lexa.”

“I’m not a prude, hey don’t flush…” Too late, Luna flushed, taking all the cold water from the shower, causing Lexa to jump back to avoid getting scalded. She got tangled up in the curtain, and almost fell over the edge of the tub. She knew for certain that her bare ass was now sticking out.

“You do have a fabulous ass, Lex,” Luna said with admiration.

“Oh my god.” Lexa tucked her fabulous ass back inside the curtain.

“So, how’s Clarke?” Luna repeated, as she lowered the lid, sat down, and continued with the inquisition.

“I told you, she’s fine.”

“Did you kiss again?”

“What?”

“Did you kiss again?”

Lexa hesitated and felt herself blush.

“You did, didn’t you?”

My god, thought Lexa, does she have x-ray vision and can see the flush in my face? From the other side of the curtain? “Maybe?”

“Maybe?”

Lexa decided to conserve her mental energy. No sense in delaying the inevitable. “Yes, we did.”

“I thought she was off limits.”

“She is,” Lexa said, as she started to shave her legs.

“So why did you kiss her?” Luna asked.

“Which time?” The razor hovered over her knee cap. Crap. Did she just say that out loud?

“My god, you kissed more than once?” Luna asked. Before Lexa could answer, she continued, “How many times have you guys hung out since the party?”

“Ah, since the party? Four times.”

“And how many times did you kiss?”

“Four times. But it won’t happen again. We’ve talked about it.”

“So, every time you hang out with her, you kiss her?”

“Hm, I guess so. But like I said, we talked and it’s not gonna happen anymore.”

“You talked about it. What did you talk about?”

“Clarke just wants to be friends.”

“Friends with benefits?”

“No, just friends.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means we’re gonna be friends, no more kissing, just friends. Jesus. Why is that so hard to understand?”

“You’re crazy about her, how’s that gonna work?”

“I’m not crazy about her,” Lexa said, with a little more emphasis than needed. Shit, who was she trying to convince here?

“My god, you couldn’t take your eyes off her at that party. Hey kittens, hey babies.”

Lexa looked out from the curtain and saw her two kitties milling about the bathroom.

Luna picked one up, “Did you name them yet?” She went eyeball to eyeball with a little, orange fluff, and got a whack on her nose for her troubles, “Well, aren’t you a little feisty.”

“That’s Thumper.”

“Thumper?”

“Yeah, cause he likes to whack you.”

“How about this one?” Luna put Thumper down and went to grab the other one, but he high stepped it away from her, arching his back and skipping around.

“That’s Tigger.”

“Tigger?”

“Yeah.”

“Why Tigger?”

Lexa couldn’t bring herself to say that both names were Clarke’s favorites. That would leave her open to ridicule for sure. She winged it and said the first thing that came into her head when she heard Tigger. “Cause he’s bouncy, bouncy…bouncy.” Lexa closed the curtain, and turned her attention back to shaving.

Anya poked her head in the bathroom door, “Hey, do we want breakfast? I can make it.”

“Babe, Lexa and Clarke are gonna try and be friends,” Luna said with some skepticism.

“What? Like fuck buddies?”

“No! God no,” Lexa said forcefully.

Anya looked puzzled. “So, like, real friends? How’s that gonna work?” She came in and sat on the floor, capturing Tigger and rubbing his chin, much to his delight.

For what seemed like the hundredth time, Lexa peeked around the curtain. “Jesus, don’t you two have someplace to be?”

“Nice shower cap,” Anya said.

Milo and Yogi were the next visitors to jam themselves into the bathroom. The space was not quite big enough for three adults, two kittens, and two dogs.

Lexa felt like she was on the hot seat, and needed to escape. A change of subject was in order. “Raven and Octavia are coming into the store this morning, so I really just want to finish up my shower and get ready.”

“How you gonna be friends with Clarke,” Anya asked. “You dig her too much.”

She groaned. So much for vacating said hot seat. “I don’t dig her, it’s just a physical attraction, that’s it.”

“Isn’t that digging?” Anya asked Luna.

“Definitely digging. I went so far as to say she was crazy about her.”

“Wow, you took it to the extreme.”

“But the evidence is there.”

“You should know, you are the evidence queen.”

“I am.”

Lexa cleared her throat, “Ahem. Let’s just be clear here, I am not crazy about her,” lie number one, “I am not digging her,” lie number two, “and we’ll be fine as just friends.” A complete trifecta.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Luna said.

“I will, because that’s what it is.”

“Sounds like a cluster fuck to me,” Anya said.

“What, the digging her or the trying to be friends?”  Luna asked.

“Both.”

Lexa turned off the shower, “Now that we’ve all taken this nice little shower together, how about we stop talking about it.”

“Okay, okay,” Anya said, getting to her feet. “We’re leaving. We’ll see you out in the kitchen.” She ushered the pups out the door as Luna followed, a kitten on each shoulder. “Raven’s gonna have a field day with this,” Anya said chuckling, as she walked down the hallway.

“She’s gonna be jiffy popping her ass off,” Luna said quietly.

Lexa whipped open the curtain, a look of suspicion on her face as she heard Luna’s comment. Were they all talking? Were the interactions between her and Clarke now common knowledge? God damn. Word could spread fast.

* * *

Raven and O walked into Lexa’s store. Raven made a quick grab of O’s arm, “Isn’t that Luna?” she said, her voice tinged with awe.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“We should go say hi, don’t you think?”

O shrugged her shoulders, looking over some new dog bones. “I guess.”

“Or maybe not.” Raven had developed a little crush on Luna after her dildo demo, which was odd because Raven wasn’t one to crush. She couldn’t even remember the last one she had. This was unfamiliar territory. Now, she wasn’t calling into question her love for Octavia. This was simply a little infatuation, that would never be acted on. “Or maybe we should, what do you think?”

O stopped and looked at her. “What? Go say hi for god’s sake.”

“No, I don’t wanna bother her.” Raven kept craning her neck to get a better look at her obsession.

“Since when are you so shy?”

“She probably doesn’t remember me, uh, I mean us.”

“What’s with you?” O didn’t wait for an answer as she held up a kong bone. “Do you think Roscoe would like this bone? We can fill it with peanut butter, then maybe he won’t chew on the dildo.”

The mere mention of dildo sent an involuntary shiver down Raven’s spine as she remembered the way Luna’s hips moved. “Maybe she’ll come over and say hi.”

“We met her a couple weeks ago, she probably remembers us. I mean, you were dancing around the living room with a fake dick on. I kinda think that’s hard to forget.”

“Did I look good?” Raven asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

O continued to pick through the dog bones, knowing that her beasts usually chewed through something in five minutes. They were hoping to find something that kept them occupied longer. “What do you mean did you look good? Who cares, you were drunk, and it was your birthday.”

“Well, did I look like a douche?” she asked.

“I didn’t think so,” O said absently.

“You really think she remembers me?” Raven’s eyes were still glued to the auburn-tressed goddess at the register.

Octavia put her hands on her hips, “Oh my god, are you crushing on her?”

“Huh? No. What? Maybe?”

“I hate to tell you this, but the chances of you ever hooking up with someone like that are unpropitious.” O put her hand up for the high five.

But Raven wasn’t paying attention, in fact she wasn’t even looking at her. Part of her brain knew a big word had been spoken, and her hand waved in the air aimlessly, looking for contact. “I’m assuming that means highly likely,” she said with some assuredness.

“You assumed wrong. It means the exact opposite.” O smacked Raven’s dangling hand. “Jesus Christ, close your mouth.”

“Huh?”

“Oh god. You’re lucky I love you. Now get your head out of your ass, and let’s find some new toys for the dogs.”

They started to walk away, but Raven’s eyes were on the front of the store, and she walked into a display of dog sweaters that was at the end of the aisle, sending them crashing to the ground.

When she looked up, she caught Luna leaning back, giving her a stare down, eyebrows raised. Embarrassed, she hastily ducked into the cross aisle, putting herself out of view.

O looked at her, “Jesus, pick that up,” and she gave her a little whack on the arm.

Raven kept herself hidden, save for her toe, which was the only thing visible as she slid it in and out of the main aisle, gathering up the fallen merchandise, sliding them one at a time over to her hiding spot, where she could then bend over and pick them up.

“Pay attention. What is wrong with you?” O mumbled under her breath, as she helped to right the sweater ship.

After cleaning up the spill in aisle three, the two girls continued to walk up and down, shopping at a leisurely pace. Raven pulled something off the shelf, and was startled by the amber gaze of Luna on the other side.

“Hey,” Luna said, her arm leaning on a box of kitty litter.

“Uh, uh, hal, uh,” Raven babbled nervously.

“You shoplifting?”

“Uh, wha, uh, no.” Raven was a little nervous. Her jacket pockets were filled with two-week old popcorn, so for a lack of something better to do, she crammed a fistful into her mouth.

“You sure?”

“Uh, no,” she said with her mouth full.

Luna came around the corner and confronted her. “Do I have to frisk you?”

“Uh, yes?” Raven brightened at the idea of a “frisk by Luna.”

Luna smiled, “I’m fucking with you, dude, how are you guys?”

“We’re good,” Octavia said, glancing at Raven, who was rendered mute by the frisk fantasy currently playing in her brain.

“Did you need help finding anything?” Luna asked.

“I think we’ve got it covered, thank you,” O said.

“Alright, give a shout if you do.”

“We sure will.” O grabbed Raven and led her to the register.

“Wait, I thought I was gonna get frisked,” Raven said dejectedly, looking back over her shoulder.

Lexa was now at the front counter and came around to give the girls a hug. “How are you guys? Haven’t seen you in a couple weeks.”

“We’re good,” O said, and turned to Raven who was searching out her secret lust. “Rae, Lexa is talking to us.” When the brunette still didn’t turn around, O rolled her eyes at Lexa. “She’s acting like an idiot around Luna.”

“Ah, yes, it happens.”

“What does?”

“Acting like an idiot around Luna. I call it...the Luna Effect.”

“What?”

“She just has an effect on certain women. She broke my orbital bone once in high school.”

“How the hell did that happen?”

Suddenly Raven was in on the conversation, “You knew her in high school?”

“Oh yeah, I had a huge crush on her. I still stumble bumble my way around her sometimes. It’s the Luna Effect,” Lexa said matter-of-factly, as she rung up their items on the cash register.

Raven nodded in agreement. It seemed like a perfectly plausible excuse as to why she felt so shy and stupid around Luna. “See babe? It’s just the Luna Effect.”

“I’m gonna effect you right in the head.”

“It’s unproperterable, I really have no choice.”

“What?” O asked.

“Unpropitiful”

“Oh, it’s pitiful alright.”

Raven kept trying, “Unproprietable.”

O’s patience was being sorely tested. “Unpropitious. Un—pro—pi—tious.”

“That’s what I said.”

“You weren’t even close.”

“Hrumpf.”

“And you didn’t even use it correctly.”

“Phfft.” Before Raven could continue to defend herself, Luna magically appeared next to her.

“So, are you girls going to Paintball tomorrow?” Luna asked.

Raven jumped and knocked over a small stand that was holding blank dog tags. The bone-shaped tags scattered across the counter. She looked at Luna with puppy dog eyes. “Uh, ah, huh, yea, um,” she mumbled and stuttered and blabbered.

“Yes, we’ll be there,” O said, glancing over at Lexa with agitation.

Lexa merely mouthed, “the Luna Effect,” and winked.

“Yo Lex, is your _friend_ Clarke coming?” Luna asked.

Raven snickered. “Friend. She said friend,” Raven whispered to O. “That’s a good one.”

Luna’s eyes landed on Raven and the smirk fell off her face. She turned beet red under the scrutiny of Luna’s glare. She nervously jammed more popcorn into her mouth.

Meanwhile, Lexa’s face went pale, and now it was her turn to trip over her words, not wanting Clarke’s name bandied about the conversation, for fear of revelations. “Ah, what? Um, I think so, maybe? Are you guys coming?”

Luna nodded slightly, knowing that Lexa was trying to change the subject. “Yeah, we’ll be a little late though.” She turned to Raven and O, “Have you guys ever played paintball?”

O smiled, “No, but we’re looking forward to it. Raven’s dying to shoot a gun. Right Rae?”

Raven’s response was to shove even more popcorn in her mouth.

“Any time you wanna go shooting, just let me know. I love to take people to the range,” Luna said to Raven. “I have, like, eight guns at home.”

O looked at her girl, who was just chewing and staring. “That’s cool, isn’t that cool Rae?”

Raven didn’t hear her, she was too busy indulging in her new fantasy, Luna snuggled up behind her, helping her aim a pistol.

O banged her shoulder into Raven’s back to wake her from her stupor. However, Raven’s mouth was half open, and the force of O’s shove caused three whole popcorn kernels to fly out of it. She watched in horror as the three fluffy, yellow missiles flew towards the object of her affection—seemingly in slow motion, arcing in the most perfect trajectory—scoring a direct hit to Luna’s face. Even though they fell harmlessly to the floor, the damage was done, in Raven’s mind.

She looked down at the offending corn, mortified that something like this happened. Why, she might as well have spit on her. There was no coming back from this shit show. She cautiously raised her eyes, afraid of what she would find in those amber orbs. Disgust? Anger? Contempt? Raven searched, and saw…pity? Yes, pity. She was OK with pity. Pity was good. She’d take pity.

“What the fuck?” Luna asked, brushing at her chin.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” Raven said.

“Excuse her, she doesn’t get out much,” O said, trying to cover up for her Raven’s conversational ineptness.

“That’s okay. Can’t say I’ve ever had a woman spit popcorn on me, but shit happens.”

Raven breathed a sigh of relief. All was forgiven.

Lexa was silently laughing as she made eye contact with O. She once again mouthed, “the Luna Effect.”

“More like lunatic,” O muttered under her breath. She had enough of her simpering girl, so she picked up their bag. “Well, I guess we’ll see everyone tomorrow.”

“Bye,” Luna said. “Should I bring the popcorn?” she called after them.

As Raven was dragged out the front door of the store she whispered to O, “Do you think she knows about the popcorn?”

O was in a huff, she’d had enough of the Luna Effect for one day, “Knows what?” she said, exasperated.

“Knows popcorn means Clexa.”

“I’m sure she does, she’s a fucking detective,” O growled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we went to Florida over the holidays. I know you all like to hear about my Florida adventures. Decided to drive cause we were taking the dog, so no frisking at airports. We left the Saturday before Christmas. All week on the news they were talking about how six million travelers would be on the road.  
> Well, I did not expect all six million to be on 95 south heading to Florida. A trip that should have taken us 19 hours ended up being over 24 hours. It was horrific. You’d be going 80mph and all of sudden come to a screeching halt. For no dorping reason! No accident, no cops. We kept trying to be clever, jumping off 95 and going on different roads, only to get back on 95 and pass a truck we had already passed before jumping off. We finally get into Florida after dinner sometime. It was the wife’s turn to drive. We were on RT 75 in Florida. I’m trying to rest my eyes, because we’d be in the car for over twenty hours at this point, neither one of us has slept, because of the traffic stress. So, I’m resting and I hear, “Uh oh.” I open my eyes. “What?” “This doesn’t look right.” Of course it didn’t look right, she decided to exit onto the Florida turnpike. Now we have to keep driving for extra miles to the next exit, turn the dorp around, and come back to 75. She said she was confused by the lights, and that she was having trouble driving at night anymore. What the fuck? Is she 80? So I take over, and drive another couple hours. We switch again, cause I am on fumes at this point. I close my eyes, not to sleep, just to rest them. A little while later she goes, “Uh oh.” Again! Jesus fucking Christ, “Now what?” She said the tire pressure alert came up, tire was down to 25PSI. I said, keep your eye on it. It might just be a little low. “Uh oh.” OMFG. “WHAT?” “It’s 24...oh, 23.” Son of a bitch, we must’ve picked up a nail. Of course, the next exit is like five miles away. We’re were sweating it out. Finally, 11:50pm, we’re able to get off the highway. We find a Walmart gas station that had an air pump. I try filling up the tire, but air is pouring out of it, it was a big dorping nail. “OK,” I say, “let’s go into the Walmart and put that fix a flat in it.” So we shuffle off to the store area. I run in, literally running cause the tire is losing air so fast. I get in there and look around. Evidently I found the only boutique fucking Walmart. It’s like just a food market. No auto aisle. Jesus H. Christ. I run back outside, shouting, “It’s not a regular Walmart! Can you believe that?” An older woman, who was an employee, and who may have been family, was sitting on a bench outside, says to me, “What are you looking for?” I say, “A real fucking Walmart.” No, I didn’t say that, give me a little credit, I said, “a Walmart with fucking fix a flat.” She said, “Oh, I think we have that.” And she gets on her little walkie talkie and calls for someone to find me fix a flat, an oh by the way, this is the one Walmart in Florida that is not open 24 hours, it’s closing in 5 minutes. Back into the store I run, pay for my fix a flat, run back outside. Takes 15 minutes to get that shit in the tire. Parking lot has gone dark. We have to drive around, to “seal the leak,” according to the instructions. We start tooling around, watching the tire pressure indicator on the dash. We end up across the street at a strip mall that was closed. We head around the back of the building, very dark, and all of a sudden, there’s a car following us. Wife is like, someone’s following us. Me, Jesus Christ, we’re gonna get murdered behind Carrie’s Nail Salon. It was a long strip mall, and this car is behind us the whole time, and no one else is back there. We finally made it all the way around to the front parking lot, tire is still losing air, the leak isn’t sealing. We pull into an all night Seven-Eleven. The stalker has finally left us. I park and call AAA. No dorping way I’m changing a flat in the middle of the night. Thank god the dude came out right away. He had major plumber’s butt. Every time he bent over, I had to look at it, and I would make this face. You can’t see it, but I made this face. The kinda face you make when you see the “PuppyMonkeyBaby” commercial. But the guy fixed it, I tipped him, cause I’m a generous lil dorp. We have our teeny, tiny donut spare on, so we don’t get back on the highway, we end up on 41 to continue our journey. Which takes longer. Sigh. We got in around 2am. We left 2am the day before.  
> And that, is another Florida adventure story.  
> Send me some comments! I think we have more comments than hits on this story.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy peeps! Have to say, I'm not loving it. But whatevs! It's not total poop.  
> Now I gotta write my notes, and I'm not feeling very funny. So, there's that. Oh! I found out Wallabies are cute. Finally, an Australian marsupial that I can get behind and spoon.  
> Let's see, what else, okay, don't tell Elizabeth, but I based O's period on her experiences. This is how E describes a woman's menses. "Literally your body...is pushing your body...out of your body…Like good God!" Good God indeed, youngster, good god indeed.  
> As per usual, thanks to my merry band of clueless tumblrs: LisaM, E, Sparrow.  
> Our pictures, these manip's ( first time I saw manips I confused it with g!p. Don't ask. Must have been the "p". I don't know. I said don't ask.) Where was I? Oh, the manip's are from dontcha-wanheda, her tumblr link is below. Check her out, tell her I sent you.  
> From rewritetheending, Major, her pony Asche, and Chocolate.  
> From Bionic Peaches, Tigerlily. This was funny, here is her story about naming her cat. "This is Tigerlily. When she's not watching telly herself she watches (judges) me watching it. She was initially called Tiger because my last name is Woods and I thought it'd funny whenever I went to vets he'd call her name out as "Tiger Woods" in the waiting room. Then the golfing creep turned into a pillock so she's now Tigerlily (and it's much more becoming anyway.) "  
> Okay, I'm not sure what pillock is, but let's assume it's like dorper and means fucker. It's so awesome that I'm learning curse words from other countries. And don't think I don't use them. Now where was I? Jesus Christ, I don't know how these notes get so long. It's like I don't have any friends to talk to.  
> Oh, The Great Wanheda traveled to Germany last month and took a chapter selfie, very good, very good.  
> And SuperZuz caught Fanta airing it out.  
> I'm trying to write a short story for Clexa Week on tumblr. If I manage to complete it, I will post on here also. Because I know all 35 of you are dying to read my shit. I'll just shut up now. You know where to find me if you have doggie pic, or a chapter pic, or you wanna say hi.

**Our girls, courtesy of dontcha-wanheda.tumblr.com**

  
**Major, Ashe, and Chocolate  
**

**Tigerlily, watching her mom watching TV. Because she can. The Great Wanheda in Germany! Fanta, airing it out a couple chapters later.  
**

**Our Dufus, sniffle, all grown up.  
**

 

  **Chapter 18  
**

 

 

It was Sunday morning, and Lexa was the first to arrive, waiting patiently by the entrance of the paintball venue for the rest of the gang. Aden’s school rented out the facility all day, and the different groups paid for two-hour time slots. It was usually a very successful fundraiser. After the games were over, all the participants would be treated to free pizza and soda in the large indoor hall.  

Lexa was a little apprehensive. This would be the first time she saw Clarke since their little friendship talk a week ago. She had been lying low since the talk, to give herself time to think and to acclimate to this new relationship. She still had major doubts. Especially when she’d be just making her way through her day, and suddenly a Clarke thought would pop into her head. Clarke at the Jordans, laughing with Lexa, not at her. Clarke squealing on the motorcycle. Or her personal favorite, the look in Clarke’s eyes when she was dared, that look of determination, how her eyes got steely blue with resolve, narrowing, her brows coming together. Or the way those same eyes looked after a kiss, sleepy, dreamy, half open. This truce would probably be the death of her. Lexa had a feeling she was playing with fire, and she would be the one to get burned.

Finally, the rest of the gang started to arrive. Clarke came with Finn and John Murphy, and Bell brought his friend Brian Miller from work. Raven and Octavia brought Harper.

Lexa gave a little wave to Clarke, cursing the increased pressure inside her chest as she realized how much she missed her. One week now seemed like a lifetime. Super-duper fucked for sure. She gave herself an empty pep talk, that she could do this, that she could be just friends. Yeah, sure.

Clarke stopped in front of her, smiled and hugged her. Lexa breathed her in, wrapping her snugly against her body, her nose buried in her soft hair.

“Hey you,” Clarke said, grasping at Lexa’s back, not wanting to let go.

“Hey, how are you Clarke?” Lexa released her and took a step back.

“I’m good. Work’s been crazy. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Well, it’s only been a week.” Lexa tried to act cavalier.

“Seems longer somehow.”

“Hi Lexa,” Finn said as he came over.

It looked to Lexa like he was unsure of whether to give a hug or a handshake, so when he came in close she stuck her hand out, leaving no room for miscommunication. She wasn’t in the hugging mood when it came to him. “Hi Finn.”

John Murphy strolled over to Lexa and she reluctantly shook his hand. “Hey John, how’s the nose?”

His face reddened slightly, “It’s fine. All good. How are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

Everybody else hugged hello and chatted excitedly about the upcoming paintball games.

They checked in at the office, rented protective gear, and got their paintball guns. The gear consisted of helmets with visors, gloves and knee pads. Protective vests were also available, and the girls all made sure to get one, but the boys decided to tough it out. They also offered boots if anyone needed them, but they all declined, each feeling they would be able to move better in their own shoes.

They stood around and listened to the rules of the game. Their group would be on one of the large, outdoor fields. They were playing “Capture the Flag.” Each team would get a flag that they would keep at their home base, on opposite ends of the field. The object was to steal the other team’s flag and bring it back to their base without being shot. They were also instructed on how to shoot their guns, how to change out the “hopper,” which was the cartridge full of paint pellets. Since they were playing three games, they were given three different colors of paintballs, making it easier to tell when someone was shot as they moved through each round.

The gang stood around, putting their gear on, pulling on gloves, strapping on chest protectors. The helmets were currently perched precariously up on their heads, so they could still talk.

“Booya, I look bad ass,” Raven said, as she waved her gun around.

“Whoa,” Bellamy put his hands up. “Maybe you shouldn’t wave that thing around until we start the game.”

Raven scoffed at him. “Relax, Bellaturd, I’m cool.” She put her arm down, gun now hanging a bit from her side. But she was still overly excited, rev’d up to get going, her fingers twitching, a little too much as she accidentally pulled the trigger. And shot Octavia’s foot. Which was bootless.

“Oooowww,” O screamed. “Shit piss fuck, shit piss fuck,” she repeated over and over as she tried to walk it off.

“Is that the word of the day?” Raven asked as she put her hand out to help her girl.

O scowled at her. “What the hell, babe? And, these are my new sneakers, now look at them.”

Raven looked down at O’s brand new yellow sneaker, now splattered with blue. “Oops?” She reached out and petted her arm. “It kinda looks tie-dyed now. Want me to shoot the other one so they match?” The glare she received back told her that would be a solid no. “Sorry, you okay? Doesn’t take much pressure to pull this trigger, just sayin’ babe.”

O continued to rub her foot, still glaring at her girlfriend. “I’ll be fine in a minute, be careful!” O was currently trapped in the longest period known to women. Eight days and counting. She was itching to take her mood swings out on some unsuspecting enemy combatants.

“It's this hairy trigger,” Raven explained while looking down at her rifle.

“You mean hairpin,” Clarke clarified.

“What the fuck ever Clarke, it's super sensitive.” She showed her trigger to everyone, and promptly sent a shot of paint towards Finn’s head, hitting his helmet and sending it flying backwards onto the ground.

“Shit, Reyes,” Finn said, bending over to pick up his blue-spotted helmet. “You could’ve shot my eye out.”

“Sorry Phil, okay, we had an idea—”

“Who’s Phil?” Finn asked as he re-adjusted his helmet, but nobody was paying attention to him.

“Girls against guys,” Raven continued. “Losers buy dinner.”

“Why don’t we just do double or nothing on the last bet from golf?” Bell asked.

Raven pointed at him. “You’re on, Bellaturd! Double or nothing, losers buy two dinners at the Met Grill!” Raven said excitedly, her competitive juices starting to percolate. “That’s double the dessert!”

“Yo, baby, why do we have to bet the dinner we won?” O asked.

“Too late,” Bell said, “Double or nothing it is!”

“Relax, babe, we’ve got this, I’ve been practicing.”

“With what?”

“I have this water gun at work, been spraying the shit outta everyone who walks by.”

“I bet that makes you the most popular gal on the floor,” Clarke said.

“I accidentally sprayed my boss’s crotch the other day. He was not happy.”

“Alrighty, girls against guys it is,” Bell said. “Me, Finn, Murph, Brian, who else?”

Lexa spoke up, “Jasper, Aden, and his friend will be here, too.”

Bell nodded his head, “Cool. Then it’s Raven, O, Clarke, Lexa, Harper? Hardly seems fair.”  

“Jasper’s wife, Maya. Oh, and Luna and Anya are coming,” Lexa said.

“That’s eight girls against seven guys,” Finn moped.

“That’s okay, they’ll need the extra person,” Bell bragged, and he fist bumped John and Brian.

“When do we get to eat?” Raven asked, but not before she shot Finn in the foot.

“Owwww. Jesus Christ, Raven, put the safety on that thing,” he said, hopping around in obvious distress. Bell and John attended to him, making sure he was all right.

Raven looked down at her gun, picking it up to search for the safety, “Where is it, I don’t see—” and her twitchy fingers struck again, firing off another shot, hitting Clarke square in the nip.

“Owwww!” Clarke said grabbing at her breast.

“Oops, sorry Clarke.”

“Shit, I thought you weren’t supposed to feel anything through this vest?” Clarke asked as she rubbed at her chest, smearing blue paint all over the front of herself.

“Maybe your boobs are too big,” Raven said. “Do you need Lexa to check to see if the nip is in one piece?”

Both Lexa and Clarke turned a rather pretty shade of red. Thankfully the boys were out of earshot.

“Somebody take that gun from her,” Bell called out from where he was sitting with Finn.

“I’m fine.” Raven searched the gun for the safety. She thought she had it, but her finger slipped just as Murphy was walking towards her to help. She promptly sent a pellet in his direction, striking him right above his belt line.

He yipped and looked down at the splatter of blue paint that came dangerously close to his twig and berries. “Owwww. Jesus Christ, what are you doing?”

“Give me a minute, I’m trying to find the damn safety. You gotta cup on or something, don’t you?”

Lexa stopped blushing long enough to reach over and turn the safety on. “There, that should do it. Here comes Jasper and Maya. So listen, Aden and his friend are deaf, but don’t treat them any differently, okay? Just make sure you look at them if you’re talking to them. They read lips really well.”

The group nodded as the Jordans approached.

Lexa introduced everyone, “This is Jasper, Maya, Aden, and this is Aden’s friend Joffrey, who’s a sniper, so watch out. We’re doing guys against gals,” Lexa told the newcomers.

Jasper looked over the group in front of him, noticing all the blue paint already covering half of them. “Did you guys play already?”

Lexa smirked, “No, we had some, ah, equipment malfunctions.”

Raven found herself standing next to Aden’s friend. She looked at him, measuring him up. He was almost as tall as she was. He was looking back. Raven narrowed her eyes. “Joffrey, like Game of Thrones?”

Joffrey nodded, “Yeah.”

“I hate you already, little dude.”

Joffrey looked at her with disdain, “It was my grandfather’s name way before it was a stupid TV show.”

“Well, it was a stupid book way before it was a stupid show,” Raven said with a sneer.

Joff narrowed his eyes, “I’m coming for you,” the youngster said brashly.

“Come and get it, Joff, I gotta little paint ball with your name all over it.” Raven’s competitive spirit raised its ugly head. There was no age discrimination. Twelve-year-olds were not off limits.

Each group would have two referees, whose job it was to keep order. They made sure everyone played by the rules and were tasked with making sure that when someone was hit, they left the playing surface. Their refs came over and introduced themselves to the group, both large and muscle bound.

“Hey everyone, glad to have you with us today. I’m Robert, this is Dave, we’ll be your referees today.” He looked around at the rag tag group, taking in the amount of blue that was on display. “Do we need another lesson on our guns?”

Quite a few looks were thrown in Raven’s direction. “No, Robbie, we don’t,” she said. “But it would’ve been nice if you’d told us where the safety was.”

“It’s Robert, and ah...that was the first thing we covered. I think you came after we discussed it.”

“Well, Rob, my girlfriend here has her menses, and I was in the bathroom with her for support. It’s a heavy day. So, excuse me if I missed your little ‘gun safety’ talk. And the feminine protection in your restroom leaves a lot to be desired, is all I’m gonna say.”

Robert had a blank look on his face. He didn’t know quite what to do with that. “Um, okay.”

Nobody looked in Octavia’s direction. She was carrying a gun after all. And she was on her period.

Clarke leaned into Raven’s ear, whispering, “I thought she had her period last week.”

Raven glanced at her girl, who was busy chatting with Dave the ref. She lowered her voice. “We are currently experiencing the period from hell, Clarke. Eight days. My living hell. There’s so much blood, it’s like shark week around our house.”

“Ew.”

“Fucking ew is right. She’s got super plus tampons, and she put a maxi pad on this morning, cause she wasn’t sure about the facilities here. Well, mattress pad really by the looks of it. It’s like, super-sized. When she sits down, she’s like five inches taller. I had to open the sunroof to accommodate the extra height.”

“God. How’s her mood swings?” Clarke asked quietly.

Raven continued to be discreet, putting her hand over her mouth. “Well, let’s just say, I’m glad I’m on her team today. I mean, she’s got a gun, Clarke.”

Suddenly Octavia was in front of them both. “Are you talking about me?”

“No!” Clarke blurted out. She was already down a nip, she couldn’t afford to lose any other body parts.

The three girls turned their attention back to Robert, who had decided it was in everyone’s best interest for him to go over the equipment and rules again. When he was finished, they all made their way over to the field where they would spend the next two hours. It was quite large, at least a couple acres, in a wooded area filled with “bunkers,” which were structures to hide behind, some man-made, some natural, like tree logs and rock formations. A flimsy orange construction fence surrounded everything, making the boundary visible.

Dave reminded them that they would play three games, lasting thirty minutes each. They pointed out the dead zone, where a player goes when they’ve been hit. It was situated outside the orange fencing, about midway between the ends. After questions were answered, each group was given a flag and told to make their way to their respective home bases, which were at opposite ends of the field.

The girls started walking to their base. “First one to shoot Murphy in the nuts gets ten bucks,” O said, hoping for some carnage other than what was going on inside her pants right now.

Raven put her fist in the air. “Make it twenty!”

“I’ll go fifty,” Lexa said, turning to give Clarke a soft smile.

“You guys are awesome,” Clarke said, happy to know that her crew had her back in all things John Murphy. Especially a certain brunette.

Raven sidled up to Maya and whispered, “Get Clexa together, girl, we gotta ‘em together.”

“Once someone’s shot, they can’t play anymore, right?” Clarke asked the group.

“Yes, you put your hand up and go to the dead zone,” Maya explained. “You hang there until the next game. If you think you hit someone, you can call out to the ref to check the person you think you hit.”

“Hey Lex, when’s Luna coming?” Raven asked.

“Oh my god! Luna’s coming?” Maya asked excitedly.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Octavia mumbled under her breath, shaking her head, sensing another victim of the Luna Effect.

Harper leaned in. “What?”

“I’ll tell you later,” O groused, her mood starting to sour from shoving what seemed like twenty super plus tampons up her cooch.

“She should be here in about a half hour,” Lexa said. “Okay, this is what we’re gonna do. We need two people to stay back and defend our flag, volunteers?”

“I nominate Lexa and Clarke,” Raven said, Operation Popcorn, phase two had commenced.

Lexa gave a slight shake of her head. “Well, we could do that, but since I’ve played before I thought it would be best if I was out in the field.”

“I nominate Harper and Maya,” Raven said.

“That’s good,” Lexa said. “Maya’s played before, so she can help Harper.” Both girls nodded their heads in agreement.

Lexa continued with the strategy. “Now, we need two people to provide cover. They’ll set up in the middle of the field.”

“I nominate Lexa and Clarke,” Maya shouted out enthusiastically, catching Raven’s eye with a knowing wink.

Lexa pursed her lips and shook her head again. “I think it’s best, at least in the first game, that I should be one of the ones to chase the opposition’s flag.”

“I nominate me and O,” Raven said.

Lexa nodded. “Good, so that leaves two of us to go after the flag.”

“I nominate Lexa and Clarke,” Raven said.

“Well, there’s no one else left, captain obvious,” Clarke said.

O held up her hand.

“Yes, Octavia?” Lexa asked.

“Commander, I’m assuming that since Raven and I are providing cover, that we must move in a surreptitious manner.” She paused to let the word soak in, seeing the blank stares of her compatriots. “That’s one folks, that’s one,” O boasted with a tiny smile, wagging her finger in the air, her mood rising. W.O.T.D could lift her out of any malaise.

“Wooo!” Raven called out and put her arms in the air, causing everyone to duck. “Relax bitches, the safey’s on.” She started the group high five. “Word of the day, WOTD!” she shouted as she went around the circle.

“Surrey whatly now?” Clarke asked as she slapped Lexa’s hand with a small smile. She decided to do a little grab also. Any contact was welcome, even a brief high five and clutch. And it felt good touching her. She started plotting how to get in some more feels before the day was out.

“Surreptitiously,” O repeated. “To act in a stealthy way.”

“Ah, then yes, O, move about surreptitiously,” Lexa said, her eyes still resting on Clarke, soaking in that smile, Clarke’s hand warm in hers despite the glove.

They heard Dave blow the whistle once, which meant to get ready.

Lexa rallied her troops. “Alright, ladies, we’re shorthanded for this game, so let’s do our best. Just shoot the damn enemy.”

The second whistle blew, signaling the start of the game. The girls watched as the boys started fanning out across the field, heading towards them.

“Let’s go, Clarke. Raven and O, try to get to that pile of rocks,” and she pointed to the middle of the field. “Clarke and I will go up the right side, just pin them down if you can.”

“Aye aye, commander. Rae, let’s move it.”

O and Raven ducked and zig zagged towards their destination, paintballs whizzing past their heads. They made it safely to the rocks. They both were sucking air, bent over with their hands on their knees. Paint started to rain down on them, and they got on their bellies. Raven cautiously picked her head up and peered around, spotting Joffrey behind a fallen log. He immediately shot at her repeatedly. “That fucking Lannister is shooting at me,” Raven said.

“That’s what he’s supposed to do,” O said as she got on her knees and returned fire, taking perverse pleasure in shooting at Bell and Brian, who were about fifty yards away.

Raven squinted over the rocks again as Joffrey began moving closer, leaving his cover. “Come and get it, Lannister!” Raven shouted gleefully, standing up, ready to fill the boy with paint, only to find that she forgot to turn off the safety. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” she yelled and was promptly peppered with paint from Joffrey. “Mother fucker!” She put her hands on her hips and was plunked one last time in the head from Joff, just for good measure. “Mother fucker!”

“Raven, he’s twelve,” O scolded, as she remained safely hidden from the enemy.

“So? Lex said to not treat him any differently.” She put her hand in the air, waving it in surrender. “I’m out!” she called to the group. “Son of a bitch, I’ll get that little fucker next game,” she muttered.

Meanwhile, Lexa and Clarke were trying to make their way to the enemy’s flag. They were currently hunkered down behind an old shed. They’d been relatively lucky so far, because the guys were preoccupied with Raven and O. But the enemy flag was still a good forty yards away.

Lexa was breathing heavily, but Clarke looked fresh as a daisy.

“How are you not sucking wind right now?” Lexa asked.

“I run a lot, relieves my stress.”

“Huh, didn’t peg you for a runner.”

“Really? Why?”

“I dunno.”

“Didn’t fit with the uptight image you had of me?” Clarke asked teasingly. Before their most recent truce, that would have been said with a nice level of snark. But things were different. She was free to like Lexa. To enjoy her company. Clarke was quite happy to be at her side, and was thankful for the full-face shield, because she was sure there was a ridiculous smile on her face right now.

They both spotted Jasper and Finn creeping towards Octavia, and immediately started shooting. The boys dove behind a man-made bunker and remained out of sight. Lexa’s shots nearly hit the mark, Clarke’s went consistently awry.

“Damn, I’m not even in the same zip code,” Clarke groused. “Why can’t I hit anything?” she asked as she leaned into Lexa’s shoulder. She told herself it was just to stay out of view from the enemy. But deep down inside she knew she’d do anything to cop a feel. Even one as innocent as touching shoulders.

“Paintballs drop in flight, so you just have to aim a little higher,” Lexa explained. She made no move to break the contact, enjoying the feels as much as Clarke.

Clarke turned, tried again, and failed miserably. “Damn it! Let’s hope we’re not gonna depend on me to do anything.”

As Clarke hunkered back down next to her, Lexa bumped shoulders with her. “You’ll be fine, you look good. Isn’t that your mantra? It’s better to look good than to play good?”

“Well, that’s Raven’s, but yeah, I guess so.” Clarke glowed inside, simply because Lexa thought she looked good in baggy jeans, a ratty sweatshirt, and a full-face shield.

“Let’s go around and try to get to that pile of logs over there,” Lexa said, pointing about twenty yards in front of them.

“Gotcha. Say when, commander,” Clarke said cheekily.

“Let’s go. Slowly though, see if we draw any fire. I’m not sure where the defenders are just yet.”

“Can’t we go out like Butch and Sundance? Guns ablazing?” Clarke asked.

“I guess you’re Sundance in this little scenario?”

“Well, I am blonde.”

“True, I’m okay with Butch, in more ways than one.”

They both started laughing.

“You are not butch,” Clarke said through her chortling.

“I could be, if I tried.”

“Oh honey, you are nowhere near butch,” Clarke said.

Lexa wanted to lift both their visors and smash some lips together. Yep, monster-truck fucked. “Alright, Sundance, you ready?”

“I’m ready, Butch.” She was digging the nickname.

They went around the outside of the shed and began moving cautiously forward.

“Shhh, surreptitiously,” Clarke said, and they both giggled. The shared chuckle distracted them, as they were peering into each other’s mask, oblivious to Brian who had moved up on them.

Too late, Lexa realized they were sitting ducks, “Clarke! Look out!” and she grabbed Clarke and threw her onto the ground, her body on top of Clarke’s, acting as a shield as paint splattered all around them.

Brian approached, ready to complete the kill, but Clarke was quick—her one arm was free—and she shot off a few rounds, hitting him squarely in the chest. “Oh my god, I got him, I got him!” she said excitedly, looking to Lexa, who moved off her and lay flat on her back.

Brian put up his hand “I’m out,” and moved to the dead zone.

“Hey, did you see that?” Clarke asked Lexa, lifting her visor.

Lexa raised her visor also but didn’t speak. She showed Clarke her back, blue paint scattered all over it.

“Oh no,” Clarke wailed softly, “you’re hit.” Somehow, Clarke’s upper torso was now lying half on top of Lexa’s. She had no idea how it happened. But she was okay with it.

“Fraid so, Clarke,” Lexa said sadly, taking her helmet off. She didn’t want to move, deciding to milk the situation. Although she did manage to resist the urge to put her arms around her.

“You took a paintball for me. You saved me. That’s, like, the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me,” Clarke said. She knew it was just a game, but somewhere, in her heart, it mattered.

“Of course I did, Clarke. You’re my friend, right? You would have done the same for me, I’m sure.”

“Well, I dunno about that,” Clarke said giggling. “A couple of months ago I would’ve pushed you right into the line of fire.”

“Hm, was that before or after Oliver ate your wallet.”

Clarke laughed. “I loved that wallet.”

“I know. I thought you were gonna cry.”

“I wanted to bop you in the head with it.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t have done that. You acted like you hated me, but you secretly thought I was cute, I could tell.”

“What? I did not think you were cute. I thought you were annoying.”

“But you think I’m cute now,” she said with a knowing wink. “I’m pretty SFA, actually.”

Clarke hesitated, hiding her smile. “Super fucking adorable? Uh-huh. You think so, do you?”

“I know so. I’m pretty confident. I have as much confidence in that as my kissing ability,” she teased.

They were interrupted by Robert, who was approaching to let Lexa know she had to go to the dead zone.

“Guess I better get off the field.”

Clarke reluctantly stood up, giving a hand to Lexa to help her to her feet.

“Stay safe Clarke, you may be our only hope.” Lexa raised her free hand, waved to the group, and tried to move off, but Clarke still held her other hand. Lexa gave a little tug.

“Oh, sorry about that,” Clarke said sheepishly, dropping Lexa’s hand. She watched as Lexa walked over to join the other fallen combatants. “Bye, Butch.” Clarke was bummed that her favorite commander was done for this game.

And now she was alone. And she had no fucking clue what she was supposed to do. Maybe she should just bum rush the flag, go down in a blaze of glory, continuing the Sundance theme from earlier. Sounded romantic. She looked over in time to see Octavia get lit up by Jasper and Finn. She looked back at her home base and saw that Joff and Aden had the flag and were carrying it back. Maya and Harper were trudging towards the dead zone. She was the last one standing. This was it. Her time to shine. She checked her hopper, which was still full since she barely shot any paintballs. She took a deep breath and ran. She left her cover, ran as fast as she could towards the enemy flag, firing at will, hitting mostly trees and shrubs, but hey, that didn’t matter, at least she was hitting something. She ran past a rabbit, frozen in place, god, did he have a spot of blue paint on him? Shit, did she shoot the rabbit?

She was getting closer and closer, why she might just pull this off, suddenly the theme music from _Chariots of Fire_ was running through her head, or maybe it was the _Six Million Dollar Man_ sounds, she wasn’t sure. She liked to watch the _Six Million Dollar Man_ and _Bionic Woman_ on Netflix. She just liked it damn it. Although six million dollars wouldn’t get you much today in the way of prosthetics, but back then it was enough to build a man! Before there was Jamie and Claire, there was Jaime and Steve. As she was ruminating about Steve Austin and Jaime Sommers’ romance, comparing it to _Outlander_ , the boys had lined her up in their sights, waiting until she was close, and then pummeled her with paint.

Clarke felt the paintballs striking her vest, she threw her arms out wildly, dropping her gun, crumbling to the ground dramatically, calling out, “I’m hit, I’m hit!” She slumped down, knowing she failed in her mission.

From the dead zone Raven called out, “What the fuck was that, Clarke?”

“You ran right into them, Clarke,” Harper said loudly.

The dead zone had a lot to say, apparently.

Clarke got up, dusted herself off. “Shut up. You’re ruining my _Chariots of Fire_ moment.”

“What the fuck is that?” Raven asked.

“It’s a movie. An Oscar winner.”

“From 1920?”

“Very funny.” Clarke plodded over to her teammates. When she got there, pouting over her failure, she looked at Lexa

“Nice try, Sundance,” Lexa said softly. Her lips turning up, the mirth evident in her green eyes.

“Thanks Butch.”

Lexa couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and putting an arm around her. “You’ll get ‘em next time.” She gave Clarke a gentle shake.

Clarke’s heart beat happily, this day was full of free feels, and she was enjoying it immensely. She slipped her arm around Lexa’s waist and rested her head against her shoulder, sighing, “I hope so.”

As Maya witnessed this Clexa moment, she dug her elbow into Raven’s side, hitting her in the pocket, and some kernels wafted out, floating to the ground.

Raven looked at her, shrugged, and reached into her other pocket, pulling out a zip-lock bag full of perfectly popped corn. She discreetly shared some with her partner in crime.

The boys were oblivious to what the gals were doing. They were hooting and hollering, slapping hands and asses. The first game was in the books. One nil, the guys.

Robert and Dave informed them that there would be a five-minute break before the next game, and that they should change out their hoppers to a new paint color. They all straggled over to the sidelines to hydrate and fill up with new paint. The boys noisily reliving their victory, the girls dejected over their failure. Suddenly Raven perked up as she looked off into the distance. She grabbed Maya’s arm without looking at her. The rest of the gals took notice and turned to stare.

Luna approached, seemingly in slow motion, sauntering, knee-high black boots, her hips swaying in her ripped jeans, bullet-proof vest with SPD letters in bold white. Her helmet dangled from her hand. She had two pistols strapped to her thighs, and from far away what looked like bandoliers across her chest. As she got closer they turned out to be three rifles of varying sizes. When she made it to the group, she crossed her arms. “Who’s on my team?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now I have to write my end note. Let's see. This isn't funny, more like "What the fuck?"  
> I have a suitcase fetish. I love suitcases. I do. But, for years I was stuck with some boring ass black one, just plain black, both my carry-on and my big check-in bag. (because my wife is a tightwad and wouldn't let me buy luggage of my choice. This was some leftover shit from her mother. "It's perfectly fine, you don't need to spend the money on new luggage.")  
> So, the first luggage incident happened a few years ago while in the van traveling to the airport. The luggage sits in the way back, and the peeps sit in the seats, right? And you can't see what's going on in the back. So the driver pulls up to the first terminal, and these three couples get out, and the menfolk are the ones helping the driver pull the luggage out. Doesn't one of those dumbass male dorpers pull my bag and starts walking off with it. I have no idea how I just happened to look behind me, but I'm like, "Jesus Christ he has my suitcase," and I go running from the van and grab it back, cursing his stupid male ass in my head. You know if the women were in charge they would've known whose luggage was whose. Okay, that was number 1.  
> Incident number 2. We're flying to Costa Rica for a birding trip. We get down there, and we're standing in the custom's line forever. Me and wifey are in the back of the line, some of my buds were further up. We make it thru customs and everyone has their luggage. My friend goes, "we can't find your luggage." I'm for sure thinking she's shitting me. It has a damn blue and red strap on it for god's sake. But nope, my luggage was gone. Some of the group ran out into the parking lot while I stayed behind cursing everybody. After ten minutes, my friend comes back in and had my bag. Somebody had picked it up, and threw it in with a big tour group. And, get this, they had the same exact strap on it. I am not shitting you people.  
> Incident number 3. My carry-on was four seats up from where I was sitting. We land, I'm grousing about how I need to keep my eye on my bag, cause I'm salty about by now. The wife is like, "oh, nobody will take it." And I watch in horror as some dumbass young dude stands up, opens the overhead bin, and grabs my bag and starts walking away. True fucking story. I scream at him. Everybody just looked at me like was crazy. But I certainly got his attention.  
> Incident number 4. Honduras. Two years ago. We go thru customs, and yes, again my same friend comes up to me and says, "We can't find your bag." I can't believe it. I'm like, "You really are joking this time, right?" She was not. Once again we all ran into the parking lot, asking tour groups to check their bags, nothing. I'm beside myself now, I wanna literally kill somebody. Finally, after fifteen minutes, the wife and friendo found it. It was on a truck, that was tarped no less. they had asked to see the luggage under the tarp. And there it was.  
> I got home from the trip and I threw that fucking bag out. I now have a beautiful purple bag with paisley swirls.  
> And that is another chapter in my sad pathetically comical life.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paint Ball - Part Deux. I am including the last two paragraphs from the previous chapter, so you all have a reference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, got this up pretty quick. Go me. And Go EAGLES! My team won the Super Bowl and we're still stoked 'round these parts.  
> Shout out to Lisam, who keeps me humming along. And to E, for being a pain in my ass.  
> Our pics, let's see, first we have the Great Wanheda, who is visiting South Africa.  
> Tobesan sent me some more fun pics, of her cute cow and rooster. or chicken? or rooster. I dunno. In honor of our Super Bowl win, she said Rosie the cow was eating out of her super bowl. LOL.  
> The next four are from Elizabeth, some of her charges at the dog ranch.  
> Then from Amanda, Riley and Abby.  
> And then, as per usual, our chapterly Dufus Direwolf pics. Our girl is one year old this week. So E sent me a baby pic. She was just a baby when I started this story.  
> Any pet pics, travel pics, send them along. You know the drill by now. Tumblr them to me, or email.

 

 

 

**The Great Wanheda, killing it in South Africa. Table Mountain. Dorp Street! Cape of Good Hope  
**

  
**Rosie, the Jersey Cow, eating from her Super Bowl. Chuckles the Rooster, and Bentley  
**

**Ollie, Lync, and Taz  
**

**Riley and Abby  
**

**Baby Dufus and current Dufus  
**

 

 

**Chapter 19**

 

Robert and Dave informed them that there would be a five-minute break before the next game, and that they should change out their hoppers to a new paint color. They all straggled over to the sidelines to hydrate and fill up with new paint. The boys noisily reliving their victory, the girls dejected over their failure. Suddenly Raven perked up as she looked off into the distance. She grabbed Maya’s arm without looking at her. The rest of the gals took notice and turned to stare.

Luna approached, seemingly in slow motion, sauntering, knee-high black boots, her hips swaying in her ripped jeans, bullet-proof vest with SPD letters in bold white. Her helmet dangled from her hand. She had two pistols strapped to her thighs, and from far away what looked like bandoliers across her chest. As she got closer they turned out to be three rifles of varying sizes. When she made it to the group, she crossed her arms. “Who’s on my team?”

“ME!” Raven and Maya screamed simultaneously, throwing their hands in the air, waving frantically.

Octavia turned and stared at Lexa, who raised her eyebrows and snickered, her mouth silently opening, “The Luna Effect.”

O crossed her arms and shook her head. Between The Luna Effect and her period, she was about to go postal.

Some of the boys nervously cleared their throats. “You know this is paintball, right?” Finn asked, a little jittery at the display of weapons adorning the tall woman in front of him.

“Yeah, um, those aren’t, uh, real, are they?” Bellamy stuttered.

Luna gave them each a contemptuous glance. “If you had a vest on, it wouldn’t matter.”

Bell and Finn, who were vestless, gulped.

Suddenly Luna was all smiles, “I’m fucking with you, boys. I’m just fucking with you.”

“Whew,” Bellamy said, returning her smile. “Damn,” he nervously laughed, “those pistols looked real.” He turned towards Finn, “Right?”

Finn nodded, clearly relieved.

“Oh, these are real,” Luna said seriously. She pulled one out of the holster, checked the clip, slammed it back in. “Glock nine-millimeter Luger.” She pointed it at Finn, who yelped and turned his back. Luna shot him in the ass. Yellow paint splattered like a fried egg.

Finn howled, grasping at his backside.

“I’m just fucking with you,” Luna said with a devilish smile. “They’re not real.”

“Ah, is that...ah...a grenade launcher?” Brian stammered.

Luna re-holstered her pistol, and pulled the heavy rifle off her back, “Yeah, it’s a beauty, isn’t it?” she said lovingly, caressing the barrel.

They all noticed the grenades adorning her belt. “Is that legal?” Bellamy asked with apprehension.

Luna narrowed her eyes. “Who are you?”

Bell stuck out his trembling hand. “I’m Bellamy, Octavia’s brother. I think we met at Raven’s party.”

“Oh, okay,” Luna said, as she slung her grenade launcher onto her back and shook his hand. “Nice to see you again, Bell.” She turned to Finn, “And who are you?”

Raven, who’d been standing next to Luna the entire time, imagining she was some sort of second, was quick to whisper in her ear, “That’s Phil.”

Finn stopped rubbing his ass long enough to shake her hand. “I’m Finn,” he said “We met at the party, too. I’m Clarke’s fiancé.”

Luna shook his hand also. “Yeah, you should have a vest on, Phil. Hey Clarke, you look good.” She went over and pulled Clarke into a hug.

“No, I’m Finn,” he corrected, but Luna was too busy hugging up his future wife.

“Hi, great to see you again,” Clarke said. “We could use the reinforcements. We already lost the first game.”

Anya joined the group, looking equally badass, in tight, black jeans and a form-fitting camo jacket. When she stood tall next to Luna it was like they both came from the island of Themyscira. Two Amazons, beautiful, tall, and strong. “Yo, how is everyone?” She gave hugs all around. “What are the teams?”

Lexa spoke up, “Guys against the gals. Best of three. We already lost the first game.”

Anya adjusted her knee pads. “Well, the cavalry has arrived, ladies. Let’s do this.”

The refs came over to see if they were all ready for the second game. The boys walked up to their end of the field, and the ladies walked back to theirs.

“Yo commander, what’s the plan this time?” O asked Lexa.

“Well, Luna has the long-range rifle, I think she should take two people with her, set up in the middle of the field, and provide cover.”

Luna nodded in agreement, taking the sniper rifle off her back, adjusting the scope. “Who’s with me?”

“ME!” “PICK ME!” yelled Raven and Maya.

“All right, you two come with me.” She took off all her rifles and held them in both hands.

Raven and Maya looked at each other, bursting with exuberance. Raven pushed her boobs out for a chest bump, ramming herself into Maya, who was caught off guard and stumbled backwards, landing on the seat of her pants. Raven helped her up. Sometimes she didn’t know her own strength.

Lexa was still giving direction. “Clarke and I will chase the flag again. O and Harper? You wanna provide defense at our base?”

“You got it boss.” O fist bumped with Harper. O figured she was safer in the back. What with her mood and all. She could see herself laying down some friendly fire in the direction of her puppy dog girlfriend.

“I’ll run interference for you and Clarke,” Anya said, adjusting her helmet. “I’ll flush them out and drive them towards Luna. Easy pickings babe.”

Dave blew the whistle and the game was on. Luna raced towards the bunker of logs in the middle of the field, rifles in hand, covering the forty yards in record time. Raven and Maya huffed and puffed to keep up with her. The boys came down from their end stealthily, laying some fire on Luna and her band. When Luna got close to the logs, she executed a perfect dive, drop and roll, airborne for a second, tucking in midair and rolling forward, popping up right behind the bunker.

Raven followed closely at her heels, wanting to impress, stretching out for her dive, trying to tuck, because imitation was the best form of flattery. But all she managed to do was belly flop on the ground, skidding forward, skinning her chin. “Mother fucker!”

Maya tripped before she could even begin executing her dive, landing with a thud in the dirt. She crawled the rest of the way on her elbows, military style. When she got to Raven, they high-fived, both believing they pulled off the Luna dive, tuck and roll, and thinking they looked good while doing it.

Harper and Octavia had a good view of the action from back at their home base. Harper turned to O. “Not very surreptitious.”

“That was a shit show. Fucking Luna Effect.”

“What’s that?”

“Don’t ask.”

Back at the bunker, Luna produced a bipod for her sniper rifle, setting it up on top of the logs. Maya and Raven just watched in awe as she locked the rifle into place and put her eye up to the scope. They looked out at the boys, seeing Jasper slinking off to the left. Luna turned the rifle and took her shot, hitting him square in the chest.

Raven looked at Maya, “Boo fucking ya,” she whispered in amazement. Her eyes were drawn to the grenade launcher that was lying next Luna. She reached out for it, picked it up, studied it.

“Be careful, that has a recoil,” Luna said calmly, as she scoped for the enemy.

Back at the base, Harper nudged O. “Looks like Rae’s got the grenade launcher.”

“Oh, this should be good,” O said. They both crossed their arms and waited.

Raven put the launcher up to her shoulder, not sure how to aim it. She pointed it in the general direction of…nobody, really. She pulled the trigger and was promptly recoiled back onto her ass, taking a seat next to Luna. The grenade went hurtling towards the big, majestic oak tree that stood in the middle of the field. It exploded up in the top of the branches, sending a flock of starlings streaming for the heavens. Two squirrels came running down the main trunk, yellow flecks of paint stuck to their fur.

Raven raised a fist in the air, “Nailed it.” Maya high fived her.

O sighed. “What is it with her and squirrels.”

Luna casually reached over and took the heavy gun from her, resting it against the logs. “Maybe you wanna stick to your gun.”

Raven grinned and shrugged at Maya, still happy she hit something.

They both brought their paintball guns up and starting shooting. Raven saw Bellamy about thirty yards away, crouching behind some rocks. She sent a spray of paint in his direction. Feeling fairly confident she nailed him, she called out to the ref, “Hey, Robbie, check Bellaturd, I think I got him,” she said, motioning to his hiding place.

“You didn’t get me,” Bell called back to Raven.

“It’s Robert,” Robert said as he went over to the rocks and gave the thumbs down to Raven, indicating that Bellamy was clean.

“Damn it.” Raven took aim again, rapid firing.

“Might wanna save some of that paint until he comes out of hiding,” Luna said. Brian started running about fifty yards away, heading over to the left where Lexa, Clarke and Anya were located. Luna calmly took aim, hitting him in stride, right in the helmet.

“Wow,” Maya said with admiration.

Raven was not to be outdone, needing to impress her crush, she once again began rapid firing at Bellamy. “I got him, I got him!”

“You didn’t get me Raven,” he shouted back, poking his head out from his cover, flipping her the bird.

“Yo Robster, check Bellafuck, I got him this time.”

Robert went over and once again, to Raven’s disappointment, Bell was clean.

“Damn it.”

“Yo Raven, do that again,” Luna said calmly.

“What? Shoot and miss?”

“Get him to poke his head out.”

The light bulb went off in Raven’s head as she realized the plan. She stood up and emptied her hopper in Bellamy’s direction, then quickly sank back down behind the logs. “Yo Robroy, check Belladouche, I got him.”

Bellamy stuck his head out like before, to tell Raven off, only to take a perfect shot of yellow paint right between the eyes, spattering all over his visor.

Raven whooped and hollered, “You’re dead now, you’re dead now, Bellaturd!” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw John Murphy, trying to sneak over to Clarke and Lexa. “Boss, bogey at two o’clock. A nut shot earns you fifty bucks from Lex. If you do it with that grenade launcher, I’ll kick in a hundred.”

Luna could use a cool hundred and fifty, so she picked up her grenade launcher and swung it towards Murphy, who had his back to them. “He needs to turn around.”

Raven thought over the options, feeling the need to prove herself worthy. She nodded her head as she committed to the plan that formed in her brain. She took off towards Murphy, a hootin’ and a hollerin’.

When Murphy turned, his face lit up, revenge coursing through his veins, payback time for the concussion that Raven delivered at the golf outing. Delighted with his luck, he raised his rifle, ready to hit her in every delicate spot he could find. However, his euphoria did not last long, as Luna launched a direct hit, square to the junk.

He dropped his rifle, bent over, and grabbed his jewels, his beady eyes wide, his mouth opened in a silent scream, yellow paint scattered across the front of his pants. He was upright for a brief second, then tipped over, writhing on the ground.

Raven turned and called back to Luna, “That’s gonna leave a mark.”

“Rae, get down!” Maya shouted.

Raven was too busy watching Murphy rolling around on the ground. Suddenly, Joff was hanging down from a tree, a bow and paintball arrow, pointed in her direction.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” she yelled, grabbing her gun and pulling the trigger. Nothing came out. She forgot she emptied her hopper on Bellamy. “Mother fucker!”

Joffrey let loose the arrow, knocking into her chest, and paint smeared across her vest. “FUCK!” Up went her hand, “I’m out!” As she walked off, he hit her again in the back. She didn’t turn around, instead plotting her revenge. And there was one more shot to the leg for good measure. Revenge is a dish best served cold, she thought.

Joffrey’s maniacal laughter rang in her ears as she continued walking to the dead zone, mumbling something about fucking Lannisters. His glee was short-lived however, as Luna took him down with a shot to the gut.

Meanwhile, over on the right side of the field, Clarke and Lexa surreptitiously made their way from tree to tree, following behind Anya. She and Luna exchanged hand signals.

“Two left,” Anya told the girls, relaying Luna’s information.

“Damn, she took out five of them? Girl is good,” Clarke said, looking over at Luna with admiration. Evidently, fake fucking wasn’t the only thing she excelled at.

“Oh yeah, she’s a ringer. Best shot in the department,” Lexa said.

“Best in the state. She wins the best marksman award every year,” Anya said proudly.

“Who’s left?” Clarke asked.

Lexa looked over at the dead zone. “Aden and Phil, by the looks of things.”

Anya saw movement back at the boy’s base. “Looks like they’re protecting the flag. I’ll move around to the other side. You guys continue up this side. We’ll meet at the flag.” She looked over at Luna, signaling to give her cover.

Lexa and Clarke nodded and watched as she hustled across the field, dodging and weaving while Luna and Maya laid down some cover.

“Okay, ready Sundance?” Lexa asked.

“Ready, Butch.”

“Follow me.” Lexa crept from tree, waiting for return fire, but none was forthcoming.

Clarke was hot on her heels. Clarke was hot to be on her heels. She found herself staring more at Lexa’s ass than the boy’s flag. She decided that Lexa looked real fine in these jeans.

Anya made it behind a large rock, just to the left of the boy’s base. She could see Aden trying to crawl over in her direction. She decided to go up and over the rock in one big leap, and she caught the boy by surprise. He rolled over on his back, his gun lying on the ground. He raised his visor and his hands, hoping to appeal to some deeply hidden maternal instinct, “Aunt Anya, don’t shoot,” he spoke and signed.

Anya, who was not overly fond of children, looked down at him, raising her visor. “Nice try, kid,” and she shot him once in the knee pad, causing minimal damage. She may not like kids, but she wasn’t a barbarian.

He laughed. “I didn’t think it would work.”

“The Aunt thing was a nice touch, though,” Anya said as she helped him up.

Clarke and Lexa had made it to the boy’s home base, avoiding fire from Finn. He was trapped now, surrounded by the enemy.

Lexa used her hands to try and silently convey to Clarke what they should do. She wanted them to circle around the short wall, which was the only thing between them and Finn. She used her two fingers to imitate someone walking.

Clarke was being playful, locking her fingers together, showing the church and the steeple, then turning her hands over, mouthing, “See all the people.” They both quietly laughed at Clarke’s silliness.

Lexa gave the thumbs up, motioning that she would go first. Clarke shook her head and pointed to herself, wanting to take charge. It was her fiancé, after all. Lexa shrugged and gave her the go ahead.

Clarke rose cautiously, slinking to the edge of the wall, peeking around, seeing Finn looking in the other direction. Jumping around the wall she yelled, “Yaaaa! Freeze!” at the top of her lungs.

Finn was so startled by Clarke’s war cry that he dropped his gun and put his hands up. Seeing it was Clarke, he tried to plead his case. “Babe, it’s me, your husband-to-be…”

Before he could finish, Clarke shot him full of paint. Lexa came and stood next to her as Clarke lifted her visor. “All’s fair in love and war, babe. Just sayin’.”

“Nice try, Phil,” Lexa said with a little snark.

Finn got up, brushing the leaves off his pants, mumbling to himself, “What is this Phil thing.”

Clarke gleefully grabbed the flag as her lesser half walked towards the dead zone.

“Go girl, take it back to base!” Lexa said, giving her a whack on the butt.

Clarke held the flag high and raced the entire length of the field, proudly waving the flag from side to side, finally getting to enjoy her _Chariots of Fire_ moment. When she got to O and Harper they whooped and high fived. The rest of the girls joined in.

It was all square. One game apiece. It would all come down to the rubber match. One game to determine the winner of two very expensive dinners at the Met Grill, along with a copious amount of desserts.

The boys were dejected, knowing their fate was probably sealed the moment Luna the sharp shooter stepped foot on the playing field. The third game was just a formality. Bellamy tried to rally the troops, tried to pump them up as they changed their hoppers to a new paint color. When the whistle blew, they got into position to await the inevitable.

The girls huddled up to strategize. Raven had one thought in her head. She wanted to bag a Lannister. “Boss, I need to be upfront, I gotta a little payback to take care of.”

“Rae he’s twelve,” O reminded her.

“I know babe, I’m just gonna fill him with paint, I’m not gonna actually hurt him for god’s sake.”

O loaded up her hopper with new ammo. “Well, I’m not defending, it’s boring back here. I want in on the action. I need to shoot somebody.”

Anya looked at her, “Let me guess, you’ve got your period.”

“How’d you know?”

Anya looked her up and down. “You got that look like you wanna kill someone. I like it. Come with me. We’ll go get the flag.”

“Me too,” Harper said, “I want some action. Been stuck back here the whole time.”

Raven looked at Clarke and Lexa, “Looks like Clexa is guarding our flag.”

Clarke looked at her, “Who?”

Raven ignored her. “Let’s do this, there’s a lot at stake here. I want some mother humping expensive dessert. And I don’t wanna have to pay for it.”

Clarke looked around, “Did she say Clexa?” Her eyes landed on Lexa, who just raised her eyebrows, not sure of the Clexa comment either.

Luna surveyed the field in front of them. “Looks like nut boy is holding down their fort.”

“Who’s nut boy?” Harper asked.

Raven cackled. “Murphy. Oh yeah Lex. you owe Luna fifty bucks.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, Luna hit him square in the balls. With the grenade launcher.”

“Ouch,” Harper said, making a face.

“Fucking ouch is right. Boy saw stars and then some. I’m willing to bet his sperm count went down after that one,” Raven squawked.

“It doesn’t work like that,” Clarke said, shaking her head.

“What the fuck ever, Clarke.”

Lexa nodded her head. “That’s fifty bucks well spent, is what I think.”

The girls all shared a chuckle. The whistle blew, and they sprang into action. Clarke and Lexa stayed behind to guard the flag, and the rest of them took off.

Clarke leaned her elbows on the split rail fence that was in front of their base and Lexa joined her. They pushed their visors up since no one was near them. They had a good view of the battle from this vantage point.

“Well, Butch, it’s not as exciting back here.” Clarke turned and smiled at her favorite brunette.

“I guess we had to share the fun. Although we made quite a pair, Sundance,” Lexa said, gazing into warm blue orbs. Gazing? More like drowning.

Clarke felt her face flush slightly from the intensity of Lexa’s stare. She glanced down at those perfect lips. The urge to kiss her was suddenly so strong it made her tremble. She turned away from probing green eyes. “We do make quite a pair,” Clarke said as she looked at the action in front of her, aware of the tense of her verb and how it sounded. And not caring.

They watched as the paintball battle unfolded in front of them. Luna set Anya up with the rifle in the middle of the field, behind a rock pile. Harper stayed to watch Anya’s back. Maya, O, Raven, and Luna ran ahead, ducking behind trees and rocks as they shot at the boys.

“Oops, Phil bit the dust,” Lexa said as she watched Octavia empty her hopper all over him. Excessive force came to mind. Luna handed O another rifle, and then she pulled out both pistols from her holsters, double fisting it. Luna brandished them in the air, jumping upon a stone fence, unleashing paint fury on Jasper. “And, there goes Jasper. Wow, he didn’t stand a chance,” Lexa said as Luna lit him up. “Look at Luna with those pistols. Holy shit.”

“It's like watching a spaghetti western,” Clarke said with awe. “I bet she'd look good in a cowboy hat.”

“Oh, she does. I've seen it. Live and in color.” They watched as Luna stalked back and forth on the wall, looking for her next victim.

“Yikes, Maya’s down. I think Joffrey got her,” Clarke said, shielding her eyes. “There goes Miller, Anya nailed him. I think we’re pretty safe here. I can’t imagine anyone getting past Luna or Anya.”

“Yeah, might as well relax.” Lexa leaned her paintball gun against the fence and bent down to stretch her hamstrings. When she stood back up, she looked around behind her to see how the other players were doing on the next field over. “Whoa!” Lexa called out.

“What?!”

She turned back to Clarke wide-eyed. “We didn’t take any hallucinogens, did we?”

“I don’t think so, why?”

“I swear I just saw a blue bunny.”

Clarke gulped and turned in the other direction. “You must be mistaken. Why would a bunny be blue? I mean gray, yes, white, maybe, brown of course. But blue? That’s silly. There’s no such thing. Unless you’re _Alice in Wonderland_ …” Clarke’s voice trailed off.

“Clarke.” Lexa knew when Clarke rambled something was going on.

“Yes?”

“What did you do?”

Clarke looked at Lexa and knew she should just come clean. “Yeah, I think I shot him earlier, is probably what happened. In my first _Chariots of Fire_ moment.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It was an accident.”

“I’m sure it was.”

“I’m not a very good shot.”

“We determined that earlier.”

“He’s not hurt, I mean, he was hopping over there. I’m sure it’ll wash off in the next rain storm. It’ll provide excellent cover if he runs through a field of bluebells.”

Lexa tried to look stern, but Clarke’s comical rationalizations made her giggle. Then they were both laughing.

“You are such a bad shot,” Lexa said with a smirk, turning her attention back to the field. “Uh oh. There’s Joff, and there’s Raven.”

“What she’s doing, throwing popcorn at him?” Clarke asked, squinting.

“Looks like she’s out of ammo,” Lexa said.

“Crap. He got her. Guess popcorn wasn’t much of a deterrent. She’s gonna be pissy about not getting him back,” Clarke observed.

“Look out, here comes O, in all her period glory,” Lexa said. “Well, she nailed Joff. Oh...and she just shot Raven.” Lexa turned to Clarke, “She’s been a bit testy over The Luna Effect.”

Clarke just nodded her head, staring out into the field. “Christ, Luna just tossed O the grenade launcher.”

Lexa craned her neck. “Looks like she’s taking aim at their base.”

“Is that Murphy running out with his hands up surrendering?” Clarke asked.

“Hand up, the other one is holding his junk.”

“Ah, probably a good idea. What, with the mood swings and all.”

“Oh shit, she shot him anyway,” Lexa observed.

“Never fuck with a woman who’s had her period for eight days, is what I always say.”

Lexa’s mouth twitched with humor. “Is that what you always say?”

“Yes, Lexa, yes, that’s what I always say.” Clarke butted her hip into Lexa’s. “You know, I may not be a good shot, but, I’m good at other things.”

Lexa butted her back. “Oh, yeah? Such as?”

“Sayings. Clever sayings. And I’m a good surgeon.”

Lexa turned and nodded her agreement. “Yes, you’re an excellent surgeon, and a great doctor.”

“I’m a good cook. I bet you didn’t know that about me.”

“Really?” Lexa looked surprised.

Clarke nudged her whole body into Lexa. “Don’t act so shocked. Ask anyone. I’m an excellent cook.”

With each touch from Clarke, Lexa swore a little piece of her soul caught fire. “That’s definitely a great thing to be good at.”

Clarke nodded. “I think so.”

“I mean, who doesn’t like to eat?” Lexa asked.

“Who doesn’t is right,” Clarke agreed.

“I like to eat.”

“Well, it’s settled then, I’ll make you dinner sometime, how’s that? And then you can really judge for yourself.”

“Hm. Sounds like a plan. You have to be better than the last woman who made me dinner.”

“Oh yeah, why?” Clarke asked.

“She somehow managed to make a purple chicken.”

Clarke turned her head towards Lexa. “What?”

Lexa kept her eyes forward. Clarke’s proximity was jangling her nerves, the urge to touch with her hands was overpowering. “No lie. The chicken looked purple.”

“On purpose?”

“I’m not sure. She didn’t seem that upset by the color. She was quite proud of it actually.”

“Did you eat it?”

Lexa laughed. “Well, I had to. It was a date. I had to choke that shit down. It’s like a dating rule, I think, isn’t it? I mean, it wasn’t horrible, despite the color.” Lexa became pensive. “It’s still a mystery to me.”

“I bet I could do it. I can whip up anything. I could make a purple chicken.”

Lexa looked doubtful. “Oh, I don’t think anyone could make that purple chicken.”

“Is that a dare?”

Lexa was quick to reply, “No, no, I don’t think it was a dare—”

“Cause if you’re daring me, you know I’m gonna do it.” Clarke’s eyes became steely blue.

Lexa shuddered. Suddenly the image of a purple chicken filled her mind. Clarke standing over her, demanding a taste test. Lexa emphatically shook her head from side to side. “I don’t think I dared you—”

“It would be a challenge. That I would win of course.”

“I have no doubt, Clarke Griffin, that you would win that dare.”

“I wonder if I cooked it with purple potatoes, if that would do it,” Clarke mused.

“Well look at that, most of the boys have been shot already.”

“There must be some spice that would add color to it, I’ll google it later.”

“Looks like O is taking her period out on Bellamy,” Lexa said, trying to get Clarke off topic. She watched as O shot repeatedly towards Bellamy at close range. He got up and yelled at her, and they both argued as Bell walked over to the dead zone. At one point, Octavia grabbed his paint gun to continue to shoot him as he walked away in surrender, his hands up shielding himself. Lexa chuckled. He must have said something to piss her off.

They continued to enjoy the show in silence for the next few minutes, each comfortable just being with the other, standing close enough to feel without touching.

“Holy shit, I think it’s over. Look.” Clarke pointed at the opposite end of the field where O was carrying the boy’s flag. “They only managed to get three of us. We won!” She turned and put her arms out for a celebratory hug, and Lexa was in them instantly, wrapping her up in strong arms. They broke apart a little self-consciously, knowing that the hug lasted longer than necessary.

And that was it. Game, set, match. The girls were victorious. O walked with attitude past the enemy combatants, jeering and gesturing and waving a fist, Raven joined her, dropped her drawers and mooned the dead. Maya and Harper scooted under the fence to join the procession, and Luna and Anya brought up the rear. They all celebrated back at their base as the boys skulked off.

The pizza dinner was being served at the large indoor auditorium, so they all wandered back to the main building. When they got inside, they looked for a long, empty table that would seat them all. Bellamy waved the group over when he found a spot, and everyone began taking their seats. As Finn made his way towards Clarke, Luna grabbed him around the back of the neck and steered him into a seat next to her. Maya and Raven both giggled like school girls when they realized that Luna was on to Operation Popcorn. They sat at the opposite end and waved Clarke and Lexa over, making sure that they sat down next to each other.

Jasper brought a stack of pizza boxes over to the table. “Okay. We’ve got plain, pepperoni, and veggie. Who wants what?” They all started passing paper plates and calling out their preferences. Joffrey and Aden came back with bottles of soda and water, scattering them up and down the table.

When everyone had multiple slices and beverages of choice, Maya stood up to give a toast. “I’d just like to say thank you to everyone here. Every year this event is so much fun. The money we raise is used to buy computers and supplies for all the kids at the school, and a portion of it goes to a scholarship fund for disadvantaged students. So, thank you!”

They all applauded, and Raven got up. “I’d just like to say, that it was a pleasure beating you boys today. I’m looking forward to my ten desserts at the Met Grill.”

“ _Ten_?” Bellamy’s face contorted. “Now we’re up to _ten_?”

“Shut it, turd,” Raven said dismissively. She raised her bottle of water, “Drinks on Murphy!”

Murphy went wide-eyed, cowering and covering his head with his hands, expecting the worst as the table yelled, “Drinks on Murphy!”

Raven then walked over to Joffrey, who was two seats down from her. She put her hands on his shoulder, giving him a little shake. “And this guy, my arch nemesis.” The shaking turned into a little playful headlock. Joff stood up and the headlock turned into grappling, as each tried to subdue the other. Pretty soon, they were roughhousing on the floor, as one tried to pin the other.

“She’s wrestling with a twelve-year-old,” Clarke observed.

“And losing,” O said, as Raven was now locked in a full nelson.

Raven called uncle and was released. She sat back down, dejected. It seemed revenge would not be hers this day. Bested by a twelve-year-old.

The whole group was now eating and talking over one another, reliving the best moments of the day.

Clarke leaned into Lexa’s ear, “So how did you become best friends with Aden?” She took a bite of her pizza as she waited for Lexa to swallow and answer.

Lexa dabbed at her mouth with a napkin. “I met him at the school about three years ago, and we hit it off.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Why were you at the school?”

“My girlfriend at the time was a teacher there.”

“Oh, okay. Is she the purple chicken connoisseur?”

“God no. That was a date. Sydney was a relationship. I brought the dogs in to interact with the kids, and Aden was there. He loved them, and we had fun together. So, we became friends. I love kids.”

“Yeah?”

Lexa smiled. “Yeah.”

“Do you want your own someday?”

“I do. A few actually. I don’t know if I wanna be the one to give birth though,” she laughed. “Hopefully my partner will be okay with that part of it. I was an only child, and I wanna make sure my kid has brothers and sisters, you know? What about you? Are there kids in your future?”

“Yeah, someday. We both want them. But we’re gonna wait until I’m done with my residency. It’s just too much to do that and have a baby.”

Lexa briefly thought about Clarke as a mother, and she knew in her heart that she would be a wonderful mom. She felt a stab of jealousy, thinking of Finn having a baby with Clarke. Her insides twisted, because at that moment, she wanted to be the one to have babies with Clarke. God, where did that come from? Friends don’t have babies together, Lexa. Snap out of it. Don’t be an idiot. Get a hold of yourself. She was saved from further mental self-flagellation by the sound of Clarke’s laughter.

Clarke turned to Lexa, poking her in the ribs as she pointed at Raven, who now had popcorn on her pizza, courtesy of Luna, who had walked by and dumped a bag on her slice. Lexa grabbed Clarke’s finger to stop the prodding, and somehow their hands remained intertwined under the table.

“Thanks, boss,” Raven said, giving Luna a thumbs-up.

Clarke shyly pulled her hand from Lexa’s. “Raven and her popcorn,” she said, shaking her head. She leaned in close again, and her breath caressed Lexa’s ear, “I figured out the Clexa thing, by the way.”

Clarke pulled back, her mischievous smile lighting up her face, and Lexa knew then. She knew she was a goner. Was there an exact moment when you knew you were in love with someone? Or was it just a slow, steady, progression of feelings, until suddenly your heart was full. And your brain was on overload. And you didn’t see it coming. And now you were lost. Because the person who stole your heart was someone you couldn’t have. Yep, totally, irrevocably, undeniably, unequivocally…fucked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was fun. How about that shout out to Hollywood! Purple chicken lives to see another story. I had requests for that. You're welcome Sparrow.  
> So, remember when I said in the very beginning that this story would have some angst? Well, it's coming up in the next few chapters. So prepare yourself.  
> And I know you've all been clamoring for some smut. My god, as if you can't find enough smut on this website, people. I'm not overly fond of writing it, but yes, in a couple chapters, you shall have smut.  
> So, what else? I don't think I have a funny story to share. I'm running out. We covered golf, we covered luggage, we covered travel, we covered squirrels and tree frogs. Nothing to bore you with today, maybe next time.  
> I wrote a short story for Clexa Week, coming up on Tumblr the end of this month. I will post it here on Feb. 25. It's a theme week kinda thing. The 25th is "Meet Ugly." So keep your eyes peeled for that.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Break-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've got some drama now. Sorry, no funnies. Hopefully you all won't be disappointed. Jury is out if I'm any good at writing it.  
> Funny thing, after the last chapter's mention of the purple chicken, I had Bionic Peaches tumble me and say she was having a go at making it. When I shared this incredible development with some others, they, too, decided to try. So we ended up with a Purple Chicken Cook Off! Hopefully, next chapter I will have pictures. Once again, I have the BEST commenters on my stories.  
> My acknowledgements, LisaM, who has become my super-editor. E, who finally woke up after nine months of napping and read the chapter, offering some suggestions. Atomic Brunette, for the Little Prince pic below. MeNemNesa, my medical editor, who also had a couple playful suggestions for Clexa. And the sparrow, for just being the sparrow, and confirming that yes, my angst in this chapter and chapters to come is angsty enough.  
> Our pics, well we don't have a lot, guess I've probably got pics from all 37 of you by now.  
> First up, of course, our clever Delirious Jer, who just got this super adorbs bebe, BammBamm! Wanna put him in my pocket, cause he looks like he'd fit.  
> Next, from Super Zuz, our little Fanta making another appearance, just lying around being non-productive. Next to her, from E, she calls this lil one, Sith Lord Louie, which cracked me up, so of course I put his pic up.  
> Next, Tigerlily, from our new super chef, Bionic Peaches. Tigerlily's second appearance. And by the looks of her, she is not pleased the story took a bit of a dramatic turn. She's not happy with me. Or, or, she just tasted mommy's version of purple chicken. Foreshadowing...  
> Lastly, our Dufus. She's king of the stump. Or I guess queen.  
> Oh, before I go, I did write a one-shot for clexa week, "The Escape Artist," you can read it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13795542). Great Wanaheda insisted that I put a link to it. Even though you just have to click my home page to find it. Evidently, saving people one click is a big thing with her. I guess clicking is exhausting. Far be it for me to exhaust anyone.

 

 

 

 

**BammBamm! From my ingenious Delirious Jer  
**

  
**Fanta, expecting breakfast in bed, Sith Lord Louie, let me chuckle again, and salty Tigerlily  
**

**Dufus Stumpy**

 

 

 

 

 

**Chapter 20 - Sleepless in Seattle  
**

 

  

 

 

Today was slated to be Oliver’s first dog lesson. Clarke stood staring at the clothes in her closet, clad only in her blue thong, trying to figure out what to wear, pulling out various shirts, not finding just the right one yet. She knew she was being ridiculous. It was just a dog lesson. So why did part of her feel like it was a date? She shook her head, chiding herself. A date. Don’t be stupid. It’s just a friendly little get together. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, sucking her tummy in and patting it. She felt pretty good about herself. “What do you think, Jinx, not bad, right?” she asked her favorite kitty, who was perched on the dresser. Clarke wondered if Lexa would find her body attractive. She certainly seemed fascinated by her breasts. Oh my god, stop it, get your mind out of the gutter! Back to the business at hand. What was she gonna wear? Her light blue bra was sitting on the small chair next to her. Of course, she would wear that, it was Lexa’s favorite. And it matched her thong. But mostly because it was Lexa's favorite.

Oliver came snooping around, seeing what his mommy was up to. He leaned against her, looking for some loving, tail wagging furiously.

Leaning down, Clarke smooched him on the head. “Hey buddy, how was your walk with daddy?” she asked absently, taking a couple shirts out and laying them on the bed. She turned around just in time to see Ollie snatch the blue bra and take off. “Oh shit, no, no, no, no buddy. Not again!” She ran after him, holding her boobs in place as she jogged down the hallway. He ended up in the guest room under the bed. Getting on her knees, she peeked under. Talk about déjà vu. Last time she was in this position, Oliver was eating her wallet and Lexa was smirking at her. She smiled fondly, remembering how combative she was with Lexa. It was always fun. And it still was. Paintball last weekend was an absolute blast. She was really looking forward to spending time with her today. Clarke managed to pry the bra out of Ollie’s mouth, with minimal damage. Just a smidgen of slobber. No matter. She rinsed it off in the guest bathroom, dabbing it dry with a towel.

She headed back to the master bedroom to finish getting dressed. After studying the three shirts on the bed, she decided on the light blue one, to match the bra and thong, knowing the color would make her eyes pop. Oh my god, your eyes don’t need to pop, Clarke thought. The only thing popping should be Raven’s popcorn. And if Raven were here, she’d for sure be popping some popcorn.

This would be the first time she and Lexa would be alone since their last kiss. Clarke’s vision became unfocused as another formerly repressed memory came to her, the memory of that kiss, so soft and sweet and full of promise. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it really had been only a few weeks. There had been moments, mostly at night, when she would lie quietly in bed and ache to be kissed again. Clarke knew this wasn’t part of the friend pact. She knew her thoughts shouldn’t be straying to kissing her new _friend_. But sometimes, it was like trying to stop a runaway freight train, impossible. How could she not think about the way Lexa’s green eyes sparkled when she teased her. Or the way the corners of her mouth would lift when she tried to hold back a smile. Or the way her arms felt wrapped around Clarke’s back.

Clarke sighed. Surely these thoughts would start to go away. Sometimes she swore they were getting stronger. Maybe enough time hadn’t passed yet. That was it, it was just too soon.

She pulled on her jeans, tugged the blue shirt over her head, put a little eye makeup on, and finished the look off with a black pendant necklace that hung right at the base of her throat. With her hands on her hips, she took a long look in the mirror. She decided she looked nice. Jinx meowed his approval.

 

Lexa pulled into Clarke’s driveway and sat for a few moments. She gave herself the now necessary Clarke pep talk. Friends and friends only. Don’t be in love. No kissing. No touching. Well, maybe she could be lenient on that one. Touching was allowed between friends. She got out of her car, walked up to the door, stepping around a set of golf clubs that were sitting on the front porch. She rang the doorbell and Finn answered, keys in his hands.

“Hey Lexa, c’mon in. Let me get Clarke.”

Lexa walked into the foyer as Finn called out “Clarke! Lexa’s here. I’m heading out to golf now!”

“Okay,” came Clarke’s reply from upstairs.

“Sorry, I’d love to chat, but I’m already late for my tee time,” Finn told Lexa.

“No worries, I’ll see you later.”

“You can wait in the living room if you want,” Finn said, as he rushed out the front door.

“Okay, thanks.”  

“I’ll be right down,” Clarke called from upstairs.

“Take your time,” Lexa hollered back as she went and sat on the sofa. Oliver came over to Lexa and she gave him the hand signal to sit. When his butt hit the floor, she slipped him a small treat. She ruffled the fur on his head. “Good boy.” She went over a few of the other commands that she had been teaching him. He performed like a champ. Lexa had never told Clarke that she was working with Oliver during the week at daycare. The trick today would be to get Clarke to establish her alpha dominance over the dog.

“Hey!” Clarke had been watching Oliver’s performance from the steps.

Lexa looked up guiltily, knowing she was caught.

Clarke crossed her arms. “He knows all those commands?”

“Ah, yeah?”

“But, how?” Clarke came over to the couch, looking all confused.

Lexa cocked an eyebrow and tried to look innocent. “I don’t know. He’s smart?”

The light bulb went off in Clarke’s head. “You’ve been training him during the week, haven’t you?”

“Um, what?”

“Lexa? Have you been working with him on the side?”

“Oh…maybe? Yes? Okay, I have been,” Lexa said with resignation.

“Is that something you do with all your clients?”

“No. I was just, I don’t know, helping you out. I know you have trouble controlling him, and I thought I would help. Since we’re friends and all.”

“We just became friends a couple of weeks ago. Seems to me you’ve been training him for a while.”

“He’s a quick learner.”

“Ha! I don’t think so. When did you start?”

“Not that long ago, it’s no big deal.”

Clarke decided to let it drop for now, suspecting that Lexa had been working with Oliver way before their friendship pact. And that thought made her happy for some reason. Even when they were arguing and fighting, Lexa was taking time out of her day to help her dog. “I know that costs extra, I hope you’ve been charging us.” Finn usually paid the bills, so Clarke never saw the weekly bills from Lexa’s business.

“No.”

Clarke sat down next to her. “No, you haven’t been charging us?”

“No, I haven’t been. Like I said, it’s no big deal. Don’t worry about it.” Lexa felt a little self-conscious admitting she was spending extra time with Oliver and had been for quite a while now. Was it some sort of subliminal way of being part of Clarke’s life? Who the fuck knows. Probably. Muddy McFucked.

“Lexa! If you’ve been working with him, you should charge us.”

Jinx took this moment to slyly sneak up on Lexa, at first just sashaying along the back of the couch, and then climbing onto her shoulder.

“Oh shit.” Lexa froze. “Is he gonna kill me?” She’d been dreading this day for months, when the big cat would get close enough to maim. This was why she took such a wide berth around him whenever she came into the house.

“Oh my god, don’t be such a baby, he’s just saying hello,” Clarke said, reaching under Jinxie’s chin and scratching. “Good boy.”

Jinx sniffed Lexa’s ear lobe and took a little taste.

“He’s starting to eat me.”

“It’s a love nibble.” Clarke was loving Lexa’s kitty angst. 

Jinx continued violating Lexa’s ear, digging into her shoulder to anchor himself, attempting to achieve the proper balance.

“Ow, he’s ripping my shoulder apart.”

“He’s kneading.”

“Well, he _needs_ to get off.” Lexa’s body remained rigid and unmoving.

“Not that kind of needing, silly.”

“He’s drawing blood, I’m sure of it.”

“He’s nesting.”

“In my blood.”

Clarke laughed. “Stop it, he’s just a cat. See? He’s sitting now.”

Jinx was finished with his meal and was now perched precariously on Lexa’s right shoulder. Any slight movement from the brunette was met by eight sharp, needle-like claws digging in to prevent the kitty from tumbling off his shoulder shelf.

Lexa looked sideways at him, afraid to make direct eye contact. She swore she had heard that cats attack when you make direct eye contact with them. Probably saw it on Animal Planet or something. “He hates me.”

“He loves you. Listen to him, he’s purring.”

“Don’t they purr before they kill?”

“You know you’re ridiculous.”

Jinx took this opportunity to lick Lexa’s jaw line. And Clarke was jealous. Of her cat.

“Your cat just licked me.”

“He must taste, before he devours,” Clarke said with some saucy sass.

“Very funny.”

Jinx eventually grew bored and jumped down, but not before really ripping into Lexa’s shoulder on the dismount.

“Ow!”

He trotted out of the room, tail held high, in search of a more interesting activity, like chasing stink bugs in the sun room.

Lexa reached under her shirt, pulling her fingers back out, revealing traces of blood. “See? See? I told you I was bleeding.”

“Oh shit, you are, lemme see.” Clarke lifted the collar of Lexa’s black T-shirt. “It’s not that bad, just a couple of scratches. Wait here, I’ll get some peroxide.”

Clarke came back with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. She sat next to Lexa, thighs touching. She almost said, ‘take your shirt off,’ but thought better of it. Instead she tried to work under the shirt, “Here, let me try to—”

And before Clarke could continue, Lexa whipped the shirt off. “There. Might be easier,” she said, looking down at the damage, not noticing Clarke’s reaction.

Clarke’s thoughts went into the gutter so fast it made her head spin. The cotton ball froze in midair, as Clarke’s eyes wandered down to Lexa’s lavender sports bra, then to her toned belly, before coming to rest at their final destination, the top of Lexa’s jeans. So easy to slip a finger in the waistband. This is why you don’t ask a beautiful woman to take her shirt off, Clarke thought.

Lexa cleared her throat. “Are you gonna…” Lexa’s voice trailed off as blue met green.

Clarke’s voice fumbled, “Oh...yeah…sorry…just making sure…ah…there weren’t any more cuts…anywhere else.” She shut up before the sexual hole she was digging got any deeper.

“He just sat on my shoulder,” Lexa said lightly, “he never made it down to my lap.” A bemused smile came to her lips.

Clarke looked at the shoulder in question, pretending to assess the damage. “I know that. I was just…admiring your belt.”

Lexa’s smirk continued, “I don’t have a belt on.”

Clarke had no retort, realizing she had been caught checking Lexa out. She thought it best to pretend it never happened, and soaked some cotton in the peroxide, dabbing it on the small cuts on Lexa’s shoulder. A dab here, a dab there, a glance here, a glance there. Clarke’s eyes had a mind of their own. All the dabbing and glancing, plus their proximity, was causing a warm sensation in the pit of her stomach. Or, to be more precise, the top of her thighs. She spoke up to distract herself from the heat that was now spreading throughout the rest of her body. “How are my orange and white kittens doing, by the way?”

Lexa turned towards her, and Clarke held her breath. They were so close, not even a foot apart. So many urges assaulted her at once, the urge to lean in and kiss, the urge to touch her face and trace that jaw line, the urge to reach out and pull her closer. This friendship plan, that seemed like such a brilliant idea at the time, was threatening to jump the rails. Whose bright idea was this? Oh yeah, hers. _Mission Impossible_ came to mind.

“They’re good. I mean, I still have them, I didn’t give them away or anything. Yet,” Lexa replied.

“Oh please, you’ll never give them away now.” Clarke bit her lip, hard, hoping the pain would shake her up and keep her rooted in place, make her forget that she wanted to press closer and kiss the spot behind Lexa’s ear. “What did you end up naming them again?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Oh c’mon.”

“Next time you stop by, I’ll introduce you.”

“Well, I’m stopping by then.”

“Good.”

“Good. There, all set. Minor cuts have been tended.”

“Thank you, Dr. Griffin, although it was the least that you could do, considering your cat tried to kill me.”

“Well, maybe we should get to this dog training thing, before he comes back and finishes the job. Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, I’m good. Let’s take Oliver out back and we’ll work on stuff out there.”

They brought Ollie out in the backyard, and Lexa armed Clarke with a handful of small treats. Lexa went over basic commands and hand signals with Clarke, complete with demonstrations. Oliver was obedient for Lexa, but not so much with Clarke. Lexa was almost tempted to video the action for YouTube, chuckling as she watched Clarke trying to be the pack leader, and Oliver totally not on board with it, wanting to play instead.

“Clarke, remember, you’re Alpha, act like you’re in charge!”

“I’m trying.”

Every time Clarke tried to get Oliver to stay, he would simply run off and get a toy. “Why doesn’t he listen to me like he listens to you,” Clarke complained. After fifteen minutes of doggie disobedience, she collapsed on the lawn, frustrated.

Lexa took a seat next to her. “He hasn’t bonded with you. You need to tame him, Clarke.”

“Tame him? What is he? A lion?”

Lexa laughed, “No. Did you ever read _The Little Prince_?”

“No. What’s it about?”

“Well, it’s kinda complicated, but it follows the adventures of this little prince. And my favorite part is when he meets a fox. And he wants to play with the fox, but the fox says the prince has to tame him first.”

“So, I’m gonna tame Oliver?”

“Yes.”

“How did the fox wanna be tamed?”

“Well, the fox told the prince that he had to sit in the grass next to him, but not too close. And every day he could sit a little closer.”

“So, he’s gonna sneak up on him, and then jump him?”

“No. Not like that. It’s a buildup of trust. It happens slowly. You and Oliver have to learn to trust each other. See, the fox says, at first, he’s just a fox like every other fox, and the prince is like every other prince—”

Clarke put her index finger in the air, interrupting Lexa. “But, Oliver is _not_ like every other dog, we’ve established that.”

Lexa stopped talking and looked at Clarke.

“I’m sorry, please continue.”

“Where was I?”

“The fox is like every fox and the prince is like every prince.”

“Right, but over time, the fox will eventually be tamed by the prince. And through the process of taming, they’ll start to need each other. They’ll become unique to each other. The whole idea is that you become responsible for those you tame.”

“Hm, okay. What else did this fox say, pray tell?”

“Well, he said, that when the prince moves closer, he will say nothing, because words are the source of misunderstandings.”

“I can see that,” Clarke agreed.

“And one of my other favorite lines is, that you see things through the heart that are invisible to the eye. It’s deep stuff.”

“Sounds more like falling in love than dog training.”

“Well, it’s about trust. But yeah, it could definitely be about love. To be tamed is to fall in love. Totally and completely.”

“So, I’m supposed to fall in love with my dog.”

“No! That’s not what I’m saying.”

“I’m gonna fall in love. With a dog. Is what I’m hearing.” Clarke was purposely being a smart aleck, and enjoying it.

“That’s not what I meant. You have to gain his trust, little by little. Every day, you get closer and closer—”

“So, this could take years, training my dog to listen.”

“It’s not gonna take years, Clarke, I’m just—”

“Lexa.”

“What?” Lexa asked, exasperated.

“I read the book.” Clarke started laughing. “I was just busting on you. I love that book.”

“Oh my god. I’m gonna hurt you.”

“I don’t think so, I’m stronger than I look.”

“You know what? You are not funny.” Lexa said with mock seriousness, pointing at Clarke, finally getting to say back to Clarke what Clarke had been saying to her for months.

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s finger. “Oh, I’m funny.”

“Oh yeah?” Suddenly, Lexa turned and pushed Clarke down on the ground, straddling her, catching her by surprise. She proceeded to pin her, with both hands on Clarke’s shoulders. “You will pay for your transgressions, Dr. Griffin. Are you ticklish?” Lexa asked with a devilish smile.

“Oh, fuck, don’t you dare.” Clarke’s weakness. She was ticklish as shit. She put her hands up to defend herself. Half-heartedly of course, because tickling meant Lexa was touching her.

“Ah, so we are a little ticklish, eh?” Lexa started grabbing at Clarke’s sides as she squealed and writhed beneath her, trying to escape.

Clarke was helplessly giggling, out of control, gasping for breath. “Oh my god, stop, stop, oh my god, you better stop!”

Lexa lost her leverage when Clarke managed to roll her hip up, and she collapsed on top of Clarke. The giggling and smiling ceased. All of a sudden, things weren’t nearly as funny as they were a moment ago. They both stared into each other’s eyes. What started out as lighthearted became heavy in a matter of seconds. Clarke’s chest was heaving with every breath. Lexa’s glance strayed to Clarke’s lips. The moment seemed to stretch on for an eternity. The world fell away and it was just the two of them.

“Lexa.” Clarke’s voice was low and husky.

“What?” Lexa’s voice quavered, as her eyes made it back to blue ones, and she was helpless. Helpless and weak. The yearning inside immense. The craving exquisitely torturous.

“Have you ever been tamed?” Clarke slowly whispered, not sure she wanted the answer, and she didn’t know why.

Lexa hesitated, she knew the answer to that question, but was almost afraid to say it out loud. “Yes.” Her voice was thick with emotion. Three months ago, the answer would have been no.

Clarke felt powerless to resist the pull between them. The self-control that she'd been so proud of abandoned her, as she started to lift her mouth to Lexa's. Nirvana was seconds away, and she'd deal with the consequences later. Her eyes were now locked on Lexa's lips, another inch or two and she'd satisfy this agonizing ache inside.

Suddenly, the ringtone of Clarke's phone blared from the back pocket of her jeans, startling them both. And just like that, the moment was ruined. Thankfully. Clarke had no idea what could have happened after after the kiss.

Lexa rolled off and got to her feet, inwardly shaken. She brushed off her pants and hid her face from Clarke, afraid of what feelings were visible.

“Hey Finn.”

That was enough to sober Lexa up. Time to reel those feelings in. She gave Clarke a little space to talk on the phone, picking up a ball and tossing it to Oliver.

“Okay, see you in a bit.” Clarke ended the call and got up herself. “He forgot his wallet, I have to take it to him.”

Lexa just nodded.

“So.” Clarke was overcome with guilt, talking to Finn after almost kissing Lexa again. “Um, I guess I have homework with my dog.”

Lexa smiled, her feelings back in check, carefully hidden. “Yes, you do. There will be a test next time.”

“When’s next time?” Clarke cringed. God, she sounded eager. Too eager.

“Whenever you say Clarke, just call me.”

“Okay, I’ll call you in a few days.”

They walked through the house to the front door. Clarke pulled Lexa in for an awkward, quick hug. This time there was no lingering. They both knew they had almost crossed an imaginary line a few moments ago, and both needed to get back on solid ground.

 

* * *

 

It was late Saturday afternoon, a week after the dog lesson with Lexa. Clarke was at the grocery store, stocking up for the week, meandering up and down the aisles with her cart. She still had a slight headache, waking up with it. She had spent the early part of the day at the hospital doing paperwork. Thank god there were no surgeries on the schedule today. Although, if she were scheduled, she would never have drank so much wine last night at Bell and Echo’s. And then maybe she and Finn wouldn’t have had sex. It had been a while for them. He cajoled and pleaded, practically guilting her into it. Clarke was so detached during the act, it was alarming. So many thoughts were swirling in her mind. Her favorite brunette being front and center. She should have been thinking about the pleasure that Finn was trying to give her. However, part of her traitorous mind felt like she was cheating on Lexa. Which was ridiculous. They were just friends. But clearly the physical pull was still there between them, and it was like swimming against a rip tide. The jury was still out on this friendship plan of hers. She had yet to call her in regard to another lesson, feeling the need to put some emotional distance between them. Maybe she would feel stronger in another week.

She took a ticket at the deli counter and waited her turn. She had to get home, take a shower and put on a dress. Tonight was dinner with Finn and all his people from work. He’d been reminding her of this event for months. The plan was that she would meet Finn at the restaurant, since he had been working today and would leave right from there. She wished she could beg out of it. She disliked most of the people he worked with, John Murphy topping the list. But, it was her duty to be there by his side. It was the least she could do since she’d been so distant with him lately.

As she placed an order, her phone buzzed. She reached down, pulling it out of her pocket. It was a voicemail from Bellamy. That was odd, she thought. She knew he was working today. She didn’t even hear the phone ring or feel it vibrate. She pressed the voicemail playback button and tried to understand what he was saying. There was a siren in the background and a ton of static on the line, his voice kept cutting in and out, making the message sound garbled and incomplete.

“Clarke, it’s Bell…...wanted…you know…Lexa was in…accident...really bad. We’re on our way…UWMC now. She... unconscious…” And that was it. The message had cut off.

Clarke stared at her phone, frozen in place. Lexa was in an accident? And it was bad? Her hands started to shake as she tried calling Bellamy back. It went straight to voicemail. “Fuck!” she yelled, not caring who heard. Her heart was suddenly slamming inside her chest. The only thought that ripped through her brain was that it was a motorcycle accident. And he said it was really bad. She began to panic and started hyperventilating. Motorcycle accidents were deadly. Oh god. What if she was seriously injured and didn’t make it? Clarke’s world suddenly seemed to be careening out of control. It felt like the bottom just dropped out. She pushed her cart off to the side and ran through the store, heading outside. When she got into the car, she floored it out of the parking lot, wheels spinning and burning. Unfortunately, she was a good thirty minutes away from the hospital. Damn it! Why did she have to go grocery shopping at Whole Foods today!

She pounded the steering wheel at every red light. Tears began slipping out of her eyes as she thought of Lexa lying there, possibly dying. She can’t die, she just can’t. Clarke’s brain went into overdrive as she thought about never seeing her again. All she kept saying over and over again was, this cannot be happening, she can’t lose her, she was too important. Life without Lexa was unimaginable.

This was punishment for Clarke caring so deeply about her. For Clarke cheating on Finn with the kisses and sexual thoughts and dreams. For wanting to touch her constantly. For wanting to be friends and so much more. For wanting to share herself. For being...in love? Clarke stopped breathing. She was locked in traffic at a red light when that thought came home to roost. Love. That was it. Oh god. She was in love. Oh god, oh god. She rested her forehead against the steering wheel, and then started grinding it back and forth into the leather. She was in love. Oh god. And it wasn’t with Finn. It was supposed to be with Finn. That was her destiny. That’s what everybody wanted. Everybody being her family. But she was in love with Lexa. And now she was probably losing her before they even had a chance.

Clarke pulled into the hospital parking lot, not even bothering to park in a spot, not caring if they towed the car. She frantically ran through the doors leading to the emergency room, past the startled guard who thankfully recognized her, heading for the front desk.

The nurse on duty picked up her head, recognizing her, “Dr. Griffin, are you okay?”

Clarke gulped in some much-needed air. “Lexa Woods, accident, she was brought in a little while ago?” she said impatiently, eyes wide with fright.

The nurse sensed the urgency, “Let me check, ah, looks like she got here about twenty minutes ago. She was put in nine.”

Clarke didn’t bother to respond, running down the corridor to room nine. When she got there, she pulled back the curtain and was met by an empty bed. There was blood on the pillow. Clarke put her fist in her mouth, biting back a scream. Was she too late? Oh god, she was too late! She walked over and rested her arms on the handrail of the bed, trying to hold herself up, trying to hold herself together. Silent tears tracked down her face. She was one second away from throwing herself on the mattress sobbing when someone walked in the room.

“Hey Clarke, when did you get here?”

She turned around to see Bellamy with a smile on his face, eating a protein bar. She wiped her eyes, reached out and grabbed his arm. “Am I too late?” she asked in a hushed tone.

“Too late for what?” he asked. He covered her hand that rested on his arm. “Are you okay?”

“Is she...gone?” She bit her trembling lip.

“She’s gone for a CT scan, if that’s what you mean.”

“What?”

“They just took her down for a CT scan.”

“She’s alive?”

“Of course, she’s alive, why did you think she wasn’t alive?”

“She’s alive,” Clarke re-stated firmly, not sure she should allow herself to believe it yet.

“Clarke, she’s fine. The scan is precautionary. You know the drill.”

She punched him, because she didn’t know what else to do. “You said it was really bad in your message!”

“Ow.” He grabbed at his bicep and rubbed. “I said I didn’t think it was really too bad. She hit her head against the window, and it knocked her out for a few minutes. There was a cut, too. I guess they’ll keep her overnight since she lost consciousness.”

Clarke punched him again, “I thought she was dead!” she yelled. Emotions welled up inside her, and try as she might, she couldn’t stop the new flow of tears. Tears of relief, tears of joy. She slapped at him again and again.

“Clarke, it’s okay, hey, it’s okay.” He reached out and gathered her up in his arms.

She clung to him, sobbing.

“Clarke, calm down, she’s gonna be fine. She’ll be back here any second. It’s okay, it’s okay,” he soothed as he stroked her hair.

After a couple of minutes slobbering on his shoulder, Clarke pulled back and wiped at her face. “I really thought she was gone.” She shook her head and took some deep breaths to calm herself. Her mind finally registered that Lexa’s head hit the window. “She wasn’t riding her motorcycle then?”

“No, she was in a van. Guy ran a red light and plowed into her front end. Could have been a lot worse. She was pretty lucky. Another couple of feet and they would have hit her square in the driver’s side door. Then, we’d be having a different conversation.”

Clarke thanked every deity she knew for those couple of feet that kept the damage to a minimum. She took a tissue from the box on the table next to the hospital bed and blew her nose. She took another one and wiped at her eyes. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom and clean myself up. Thanks for calling me, Bell.”

“No problem, Clarke. I didn’t know who else to call. I knew you guys were good friends and I wanted someone to be here for her. Well, I’m heading out, you sure you’re okay?”

Her lips quivered into a small smile, “I am now.”

“All right, I’ll see you later, then.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and headed out.

Clarke went to the ladies’ room down the hall. It was a single stall, so she had the place to herself. She looked in the mirror. Her eyes were swollen and red. Turning the cold water on, she splashed her face repeatedly, then patted it dry with paper towels. Another glance and she looked almost back to normal. She leaned on the sink and just breathed. Breathed glorious air into her lungs. Her heart rate was slowing down. Lexa was alive. She was _alive_. The anguish of the past hour had drained her. She took one more deep breath, held it, then blew it out. She was in love. And now her life was a hell of a lot more complicated. Pushing all the troubling thoughts aside, she turned and left the restroom. She needed to see Lexa now. She’d worry about these newly revealed feelings later.

She walked down the corridor, stopping just outside the curtain that cordoned off room nine. Lexa was back and talking on her phone.

“Anya, I’m fine. They’re keeping me overnight just as a precaution...no, stay there, we have a lot of kennel dogs right now, I’m fine...yeah, that would be great if you just stayed in the guest bedroom tonight...okay...I’ll call you when I know what time I’ll be discharged. Call the insurance company for the van, I think it’s totaled...okay...I’ll talk to you later.”

When Clarke knew the conversation was over, she pulled aside the curtain.

Lexa looked up, surprised, “Clarke?”

“Hey you.” Clarke walked over to her, reached out and touched the bandage that was on Lexa’s left temple.

“What are you doing here?”

“Bellamy called me.”

“Oh, okay.”

“How do you feel?” Clarke grabbed Lexa’s wrist and took her pulse, just because she needed to keep touching her.

“I’ve got a headache, but I think I’ll live,” she said with a chuckle. “The van is totaled though. Thank god I didn’t have any dogs in it.”

Clarke was satisfied with Lexa’s heart rate and went to look at her chart, noting who the physician on duty was. Dr. Natting. He was good. “You have a concussion.”

“So they tell me. They gave me something for the headache, so hopefully that goes away soon.”

“Nothing else hurts?”

“My shoulder is sore from the seat belt cutting into me. I guess I’ll feel more tomorrow.”

“Well, I’m gonna stay here with you, keep an eye on you.”

“Clarke, that’s really sweet, but totally unnecessary. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do on a Saturday night than hang in a hospital with a cranky patient.”

“I don’t, so you’re stuck with me. And besides, I like cranky patients. They’re my jam.”

“Oh, your jam, huh?”

Clarke smiled sweetly at her. “Yes.”

The nurses came in to move Lexa to a room on the third floor. She signed admittance paperwork and they wheeled her away, Clarke right by her side the whole time. When they had Lexa settled, the nurses left, and Clarke pulled a chair over to Lexa’s bedside.

“Clarke, please, you don’t have to be here.”

“I wanna be. Is that okay?”

“Sure. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to though.”

“I don’t feel that way. I wanna be here. You have no idea how much I wanna be here.”

“What?” Lexa wasn’t sure she heard Clarke’s last sentence correctly.

“Nothing.”

Before Lexa could press Clarke on what she meant, Dr. Natting came in to the room. He showed mild surprise upon seeing Clarke. “Dr. Griffin, how are you?”

“Hey Tom, I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m doing great.” He turned towards Lexa. “How’s our patient?” he said, taking his light and checking Lexa’s pupils.

“I feel great, I really don’t think I have to stay overnight,” Lexa answered.

“Well, it’s precautionary,” he stated.

“Are you gonna be waking me up every fifteen minutes? Don’t they do that with concussions?”

“No, they used to do that, but not anymore, at least not with adults.”

Clarke spoke up, “She’ll be fine, because I’ll be with her the entire time.” She reached out and patted Lexa’s arm.

“Good, my shift is done in about an hour.”

“I’ll take over. Just tell the nurses.”

Lexa groaned. “I hope you’re better at doctoring than you were at paintballing.”

“Very funny.” Clarke reached out and lightly smacked Lexa’s bare arm.

Dr. Natting laughed. “You play paintball, Clarke?”

“I did once.”

“Define play, Doctor,” Lexa said.

Clarke gave Lexa’s arm another soft, playful slap. “Shut up, I was good.”

“You shot a rabbit.”

Dr. Natting made some notes on Lexa’s chart. He clicked his pen and put it in his pocket. “Well, I’ve never played. But now I know who not to play with.”

Lexa gave a hearty laugh, “Oh, smackdown. Dr. Griffin, you’ve been smacked down.”

“I’m gonna smack you real hard in a minute.”

Lexa gave Clarke a comical pout. “That’s not very doctorly.”

Dr. Natting smiled at them both. “Okay, I made a note on the chart and I’ll tell the nurses that Doctor Griffin will take over. Miss Woods, I think you’re doing great, and I leave you in very capable hands.”

“Thanks Doc.”

“Bye Tom.”

They both watched as Dr. Natting walked out the door. Lexa’s glance landed on Clarke. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know, your eyes look puffy, like you’d been crying.”

“Well, I thought you died.”

“What?”

“I thought you died,” she said with a small tremor in her voice, her mood sobering.

“You thought I died? Why did you think I died?”

“Bell’s message was all muddled and broken up, and it sounded like you were hurt really bad, and I thought you were on your motorcycle—”

“Oh, the killing machine.”

“Yes! The killing machine. See?”

Lexa gave a slight shake of her head. “No.”

“What?”

“I don’t see.”

“I thought you were dead,” Clarke explained. Even saying it hypothetically cut her to the bone and made her heart ache, realizing again that Lexa could have been killed.

“And wow, you cried? Over me? That’s super touching,” Lexa lightly teased, wanting to lighten Clarke’s mood, wanting to see the twinkle in her eyes that was there moments before.

Clarke leaned her elbows on the side rails of the hospital bed and rested her chin on her hands. “Shut up. You would have done the same, and you know it.”

Lexa cocked an eyebrow at her playfully. “Well, I dunno about that.”

“Hey! You would’ve cried if it were me, you know you would have.” Clarke reached out and poked her in the side, the twinkle back.

Lexa shook her head, “I don’t know. I mean, it would’ve saved me five dog lessons.”

Clarke smirked. “I’m gonna hurt you.”

“You can’t. You’re now my attending physician, and I think that goes against your Hippocratic oath or something.”

“I could smother you with a pillow, then say you just succumbed to your injuries.”

“Hm, I don’t think so. I only have a slight concussion. That won’t make me stop breathing.”

“I’m clever, I’d think of something.”

“You sound like Dr. Evil. You’re propagating my hatred of hospitals.”

“Is that your word of the day? Propagating? High five.” Clarke put her hand up and Lexa grasped it, holding on. “And hospitals are not that bad.”

Lexa wasn’t letting go of Clarke’s hand. “Well, I’ve never stayed overnight before. Oh wait, I did once when I was like, six I think. I had my tonsils out.”

Clarke’s brow creased. “You had your tonsils out when you were six?”

Before their conversation could continue, Uncle Gus came into the room.

“Hey, Uncle Gus!” Lexa called out.

“Hey my girl, I needed to check on you to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, I told you not to worry.”

“Well, Anya and I were both worried. So, I’m here to see for myself.”

“This is my friend Clarke, Clarke, this is my Uncle Gus. My mom’s brother.”

“Hi,” Clarke stuck her hand out. “Lexa never told me she had an uncle.” She turned and gave a scolding look to Lexa who just shrugged.

“I guess it never came up in conversation. Clarke is also my attending physician, Uncle Gus, so if you don’t think I’m receiving the right care, please take it up with her.”

“I shall. Dr. Clarke it’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, Uncle Gus, and please, just Clarke. And to be clear here, your niece is a pain in the ass patient.”

“Oh, I’m aware of that. She’s stubborn like her mom,” he chuckled.

Gus stayed for about half an hour, dissing on all things Lexa, making Clarke laugh and making Lexa wish she could crawl under the covers from embarrassment. He left when Lexa started to get sleepy.

As Lexa started nodding off, Clarke settled in the chair next to her. Soon, she was sound asleep, and Clarke just stared at her. She caressed every inch of her with her eyes. She reached out, slipping a hand into Lexa’s warm one. After about fifteen minutes, Clarke became restless. What if Lexa was slipping into unconsciousness? What if the brain injury was worse than expected? What if the CT scan lied? She wanted to make sure she was okay, so she squeezed and shook her hand.

Lexa’s eyes opened slowly, at first unfocused, but then landing on Clarke. She spoke softly, “Hey, did you just wake me up?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Clarke said guiltily.

Lexa’s voice was gravelly with sleep. “But Dr. Natting said there was no need to wake me up.”

“I know, sorry, I didn’t think you’d wake up, I was just...ah...taking your pulse.”

One corner of Lexa’s lip twitched up. “Oh, so it was an accident.”

“Yeah, it was an accident. Go back to sleep.”

“Okay, I’m tired.”

“Close your eyes, I’ll be here.”

After about another half hour, Clarke needed to check on her again, so she shook Lexa’s arm slightly. When she didn’t rouse, Clarke shook it a little more forcibly.

When Lexa’s eyelids fluttered, Clarke stopped shaking.

“Clarke? Did you just wake me up again?” Lexa mumbled.

Clarke was relieved to see her eyes open. “Sorry. It was an accident.”

“Okay,” she said sleepily.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Uh-huh.”

After another half hour Clarke couldn’t help herself. She needed to know. She needed to know that Lexa was going to be all right. She stood up, reached out and squeezed Lexa’s shoulder. When she got no response, she squeezed harder.

Lexa struggled awake. “Clarke?”

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“I think you did.”

“I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”

Lexa took a groggy peek at the clock on the wall. “That’s the third accident in the last hour.”

“I know, I know. Go back to sleep, you need your rest.” Clarke slipped her hand back into Lexa’s.

“I’m trying.”

“Sorry. Sshh. Close your eyes.” Clarke couldn’t stop herself as she reached out with her other hand and stroked Lexa’s cheek.

“Clarke, I’m gonna be fine,” Lexa murmured, leaning into Clarke’s hand as she drifted off to sleep with a soft smile on her lips.

This time Clarke let her sleep. All the while staring at that smile, which remained on Lexa’s face as she slept. Clarke fought the urge to lean down and place her lips against it. Instead, she sat down in the chair, pulled her legs up into her chest and closed her eyes, one hand still entwined with Lexa’s.

Her peacefulness didn’t last long, as she heard someone clear their throat. Opening her eyes, she found Finn standing in the doorway.

“Clarke?”

Clarke’s stomach dropped, and she swore her heart stopped beating. “Finn. Hey,” she said quietly. He was dressed in a tux, obviously coming from the formal company dinner that was tonight. And Clarke forgot all about it. Shit. She discreetly released Lexa’s hand.

“Clarke, what are you doing here?”

“Lexa was in an accident.” She kept her voice down to avoid waking Lexa up.

“I know. Bellamy texted me about golfing tomorrow. So, I asked if he’d heard from you, since you didn’t show up at the dinner. I didn’t know where you were, or if something happened to you. And then he told me about Lexa. He said it wasn’t bad, that she just had a slight concussion.”

“Concussions can be dangerous.”

“I kept calling you and texting you. I was so worried, Clarke. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”

Clarke took a look around, realizing she wasn’t even sure where her phone was. “Oh, shit, I think I left it in my car, I’m sorry.”

“Clarke, it was my dinner tonight. I was the only one there without my girlfriend.”

Clarke could sense his agitation. His posture was stiff, and his usually warm eyes were unreadable. “I’m so sorry. I guess I lost track of time.”

“This was important. I told you months ago how important this was to me.”

Clarke was at a loss. She looked over at Lexa, who appeared to be resting comfortably. Clarke knew she owed Finn an explanation, so she got up from her chair and motioned him into the hallway. They walked until they found an empty room, shutting the door for privacy.

Finn looked despondent. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know something’s wrong. I’m not stupid. You’ve been so distant lately, for months. Hell, maybe for the past year. What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Clarke needed time to think. She wasn’t feeling mentally strong enough to have this conversation right now, not with her feelings for Lexa simmering under the surface.

Finn grabbed her hand. “Clarke, talk to me. Please tell me what’s wrong. Don’t you wanna get married? Have a family? Don’t you love me anymore?”

Clarke didn’t know how to answer, because anything she said was going to cause him pain. And she did love him. She just wasn’t _in_ love with him. But she knew he deserved an honest answer. “Of course, I love you, I—”

“If you loved me, you would have known how important this dinner was tonight, and you would have been there. This hospital is full of capable doctors who could have been taking care of Lexa.”

“I know. I know that.” Clarke carefully pulled her hand back.

“Clarke, do you still love me?” His voice cracking from emotion.

“I...I do love you…” Clarke was having trouble coming clean.

“Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ in there?”

Clarke knew she had to find the strength. She at least owed him that. Her voice was low and tinged with sadness. “I love you...I’m not sure...I’m _in_ love with you.”

Finn took a moment to digest the words. “You’re not…in love with me anymore?” he asked unsteadily, running a shaky hand through his hair.

Clarke figured it was time to just rip the band-aid off. “I don’t know if I ever was.” Once those words were out of her mouth, somewhere deep inside, was relief. A weight was lifted.

His eyes filled with tears, but none fell, they just pooled up, making his brown eyes murkier. “How can you say that? We’re great together, we’ve always been great together. Harry and Sally. Best friends.”

“Yes, we’re best friends, Finn.” She took a deep breath and rubbed at her temples. “Sometimes, I feel that’s all we’ve ever been,” she said cautiously. “I don’t think we’ve ever had that all-consuming passion for each other. If you marry someone, I think you have to be consumed by them.” Clarke glanced at the closed door, back in the direction of Lexa, “You have to tame them,” she said so quietly it was barely audible.

When she gazed back at Finn, she could see that she wasn’t getting through to him. “Look at us, Finn. Sometimes it’s like we live different lives. I hardly even see you during the week, and on weekends, we just seem to do our own thing. We barely have sex. Even when we first started dating, we didn’t have a lot of sex like most new couples do.”

Finn was fighting hard to keep his tears at bay now. “I didn’t push sex all the time because you didn’t seem to be that into it. I know some people are like that. But it didn’t matter to me, because I love you. Clarke, I’m in love with you. I always have been. I know I screwed up that one time, and you forgave me. And I know I’m not perfect, but I thought…we were perfect together.”

Clarke was trying desperately to make him understand, to make him see the light. “Do I really make you happy? Are you truly happy, Finn?” she asked.

When he didn’t answer, she reached for his hand, “Finn,” but he pulled away from her. Pain etched on his face, his lips set in a hard line.

“Is there someone else?” he asked hesitantly.

Clarke paused, her mouth opened but no sound came out. She couldn’t find her voice.

Finally, a tear escaped, trickling down his cheek. “Who is it?”

“I… I’m…” Clarke was still struggling to get the words out.

“It’s Lexa, isn’t it?”

His question caught her off guard. “What?”

“It’s Lexa.”

Clarke could barely admit her feelings to herself, she wasn’t ready to admit them to anyone else. “Why do you say that?”

“You don’t think I see the way you look at her?” His accusation hit the mark and Clarke flinched. “You look at her...the way I’ve always wanted you...to look at me,” he said slowly.

She reached out to him again. “Finn, I—”

“No, don’t.” He backed away.

He looked defeated. Beaten down. Wounded. Lost. The look of betrayal in his eyes was devastating. She’d known him since high school, he’d been a part of her life for almost fifteen years, and this was ripping her apart, inflicting so much pain upon him. Part of her wanted him to yell and scream, but he just stood there. Maybe the yelling would come later. Maybe the anger would be there tomorrow. She knew she didn’t want the end to be like this. “We can talk later, when I get home.”

“No, Clarke.” He shook his head emphatically. “I think we’ve both said enough. I gotta get out of here.” He opened the door and walked out, leaving her alone to wrestle with her guilty conscious.

She wandered back to Lexa’s room with a heavy heart. She slumped into the chair, picked up Lexa’s hand and leaned down to gently kiss it. She pushed a strand of Lexa’s hair away from her eyes. As Clarke stared down at her, this woman who seemed to come out of nowhere and snatch her heart, she was suddenly besieged with doubt. Was she doing the right thing? She didn’t even know if Lexa shared the same feelings. Did that matter though? Deep down in her heart she knew that leaving Finn was the right thing to do, even if Lexa was unavailable to her. He deserved to be with someone who was truly in love with him. Clarke could never fully give herself to him, because she wasn’t _in love_. She had always held a piece of herself back, content to just get along. To please Finn, and her family. Yes, this _was_ the right thing to do. Set him free to find his special someone.

 

* * *

 

Roscoe and Rocky started whining and barking. Raven groaned, rolling over in bed to look at the clock. “What the fuck?” Six a.m. on a Sunday and someone was at their door? She looked at O, who sleepily stared back at her.

“What time is it?” O asked with a yawn.

“Six.”

“And someone’s knocking?”

“Yeah, I’ll go see babe, you stay here.”

“Be careful. Take the dogs with you.”

“So they can lick someone to death?”

“Their breath could stop a speeding train, I swear.”

“I told you to brush their teeth, why don’t you brush their teeth?” Raven asked as she got out of bed and put her slippers on. “People brush their dog’s teeth. I’ve seen it on YouTube.”

“Because I don’t feel like it,” she snapped.

“Okay. Fair enough. You don’t have your period, do you?”

“Shut up. You know I’m not a morning person.” O rolled over and pulled the comforter over her head. A hand snaked out from under the covers and a middle finger was raised.

Raven jumped back on the bed, right on top of her significant other. “I love you too, babe.” She kissed her through the covers.

O giggled. “Enough, go get the door.”

Raven left the bedroom and padded down the steps as the pounding on the door got louder. “Oh my god, I’ll be there in a second,” she mumbled, trying to navigate the steps and two large canines. When she got to the front door, she peered into the peep hole. “Oh, crap.” She threw open the door, surprised, “Clarke?” Raven craned her neck to see if anyone else was with her. “It’s six a.m. Did you forget to spring ahead three months ago?” 

“We broke up.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since that chapter was devoid of guffaws, let me try to illicit a smile from you here.  
> We headed down to florida a couple weekends ago. We flew Frontier. I know what you’re going to say, Frontier sucks, you always have problems with Frontier. Well guess what? Frontier does suck, but every time they suck, we get a hundred dollar credit to use. And, as I’ve mentioned before, the wife is a bit, how shall I say, frugal? She just can’t let a hundred dollar credit go. It’s like buy one get one at the grocery store. We don’t eat the English Muffins, but god damn it, it’s buy one get one free. So now we have a couple hundred packs of English Muffins in the cupboard. Those fuckers are always buy one get one.  
> So we flew out of Trenton, a small commuter airport. Our TSA pre-check gets us a big orange card to hold as we go thru security and the privilege of leaving our shoes on. We still have to unpack the computers. (Oh, our flight was delayed an hour. You didn't think it would go off without a hitch, did you? It's fucking Frontier! And they did notify us of the delay, via email. After we boarded. But I digress.) So we’re in the security line, and the wife is already grousing about having to unpack the computers. She has two of them in her small carry-on. The TSA dude asks us if we have computers or food in our bag. Food? I always have food. Well, at this particular airport, it all has to come out. So I start digging around in my bag, pulling out protein bars and the like. The wife likes to bring our refrigerator when we travel, so she has lettuce, a huge bag of peppers, tomatoes, etc etc. Evidently they don’t sell produce in Florida. I go thru the scanner thingy, and wait for my carry-on to come thru, I grab it and look back on the belt, and here comes the salad bar from your local diner down the belt. I swear, it was like the biggest dorping bag of lettuce I’ve ever seen. There was a woman right behind me who looked at all the food coming down the belt and said, “I’ll take a ham and swiss on rye with lettuce and tomato.” I’m kidding, she didn’t say that, but I would have. She did say, “My, that’s a lot of food.” I said, “I don’t think they sell lettuce in Florida.” She just looked at me. I swear my life is a sitcom.  
> We're on the plane, and you know damn well we did not pay for the privilege of using the overhead bins, but does that stop wifey? Hell no! She don't give no fuck, up in the overhead bin goes her bag. Meanwhile, I'm trying to shove my 3' backpack into a 2' space under the seat in front of me, with little success, covering it up with my jacket so as not to be deplaned due to excessive baggage.  
> Oh, and we get off the plane at Ft Myers, we go to the rental car place, and they tell us they’re filming a commercial out in the lot, and to be careful walking, and try to avoid them etc. We walk out, and sure enough, the film crew was set up, lights, cameras. I'm looking for photo bomb opportunities, right? Alas, there were none. Damn, that would've been fun. We walk by a little courtesy stand full of coffee and some food, and I turn around, because sure as shit, my wife will try and poach a free coffee. And there she was angling over to the table, “What the fuck are you doing?” I ask. “What? I want some coffee.” “Don’t you dare, there’s a cop standing there, that’s for the crew.”  
> “Whatever.” I shamed her away from her free cup of joe. Don't think I didn't hear about that for the next two days.  
> That's my travel story for this chapter.  
> Next chapter is smut. I know most of you will probably not want to read it, so you can skip over it, I won't be offended.  
> Of course, I jest! Jesus Christ that's all I've heard for the last few chapters, 'where's the smut,' 'give us some smut,' 'when they gonna bang.' I'd much rather write the comedy. Smut is hard! I mean, how many ways can you describe an orgasm? Falling over a cliff, heart stopping, shattering, heaving, breathless, moaning, keening, lights bursting, waves crashing, earthquakes quaking, popcorn popping.....just seeing if you were still with me. ;) Send me your adjectives if you have any interesting ones, better yet, write a sexy clexa scene in your comment, it can be one line, and maybe I'll use it.  
> Now I gotta go read every super smutty clexa story on this website to prepare, and steal some shit. Hey, I almost made it to the end of my character count for the note. Go me!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will not bore you with the triviality of a note. We all know why you're here.  
> Finally, after 120,000 words, I give you...Clexa.

  
Clarke brushed by a stationary Raven. “We broke up,” she repeated.

Raven stood stock still, staring out the front door.

Clarke looked at her bestie’s back. “Rave, we broke up.”

Raven turned slowly, shutting the door. Her bottom lip quivered. “You and Lexa broke up?” she asked, seemingly on the verge of tears.

“What? No!” Clarke reached out with one hand and slapped at Raven’s shoulder. “Finn! Finn and I broke up!”

“Oh!” Raven’s visage brightened. “Oh! Okay! Phew, for a second I thought you meant Lexa.”

“Lexa and I aren’t together, how could we break up?”

Raven went to the bottom of the steps and screamed, “Babe! Popcorn time. Now!”

“She’s not on her period is she?” Clarke asked. Ever since that frightful eight-day menses, none of them said “had” their period, they were all “on” their period. Clarke had to be careful not to say it like that at work. It wasn’t very doctorly.

“No, that hell has passed,” Raven said with a look of relief.

“Thank the lord for small favors.”

“Amen.”

They both listened as they heard a thump, fast footsteps along the hallway, and Octavia racing down the steps. “Here I come, here I come.” She came to a sliding stop on the landing. “Who said popcorn?”

Clarke led the three of them into the kitchen and she took a seat at the table.

O went into the fridge and got out the orange juice, and Raven opened a fresh bag of popcorn. They all sat around as Clarke recounted the events of the previous day, Lexa’s car accident, Bellamy’s phone call, Clarke’s madcap drive to the hospital, her taking over as Lexa’s doctor, and Finn’s surprise visit. She left out the part about being in love. It was something she wanted to keep to herself until she got used to it.

“So, he said, ‘we’re breaking up,’” Raven asked for clarification.

“Well, maybe not those exact words, but the gist of it was there.”

“The gist?” O asked. “Is this like the time that he asked you to marry him and you never said yes?”

Raven finger gunned her girl, “Good point, babe. Clarke, I think we need more concrete proof. Was Abby there to say yes you broke up? I mean, she said yes when he asked you to marry him.”

Clarke sighed and stared at Raven, letting her know with her eyes that she did not appreciate the mom reference.

“What? You didn’t say yes, she did!”

“Trust me, we broke up. He was a mess last night. You didn’t see his face or hear the pain in his voice. I left Lexa’s bedside about two hours ago and when I went home, he wasn’t there.”

“What are you gonna do now?”

“I guess I have to move out, I mean it’s his house. I’ll start looking around for a place to rent for the time being.”

“You can stay here, Clarke,” O offered.

“That’s sweet, and I love you guys, but, I have Jinx, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen with Oliver, I mean, he’s Finn’s, but I’ve come to love that crazy dog.” The fact that he reminded her of Lexa had a lot to do with her new-found love of canines.

“Well, maybe eventually you can do joint custody, people do it all the time,” O said, trying to be helpful.

Raven mouthed a fistful of popcorn. “What about Lexa?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, when you gonna hook up with her?”

“I just broke up with my fiancé, I can’t even think past that right now.”

“So, you’ll call her tomorrow?”

“I just said I needed some time.”

“Clarke, she was in a serious car accident, you said you were her attending physician, you have to check on her. It’s your doctorly duty for god’s sake.”

“I…don’t...” Clarke chewed on her bottom lip. “You think?”

“Dude, I know. Get over there today and check on her.”

Clarke looked to Octavia for her opinion.

“Makes sense to me. Would be pretty shitty if you were with her all night, then suddenly you disappear,” O said.

“Okay, I guess I could head over there this afternoon to check on her.”

“I would definitely head over there today, right babe?”

O nodded in agreement, reaching for more popcorn.

“Who’s picking her up at the hospital? You should do it.” Raven said.

“Her uncle is going to pick her up.” Clarke stared at the bowl in front of her. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate. “I’m not even hungry. That was such a shitty night.” She covered her face with her hands, trying not to relive every awful moment. But she couldn’t. It was on a constant loop in her brain.

O grabbed Clarke’s arm. “Hang out with us this morning. Maybe you’ll be hungry later and I’ll make you eggs.”

“We can watch movies and snuggle on the couch,” Raven said.

“Thanks guys, maybe I will. I just wanna get my mind off everything.”

For the next few hours, Raven and O made a Clarke sandwich, one on either side sitting close, invading each other’s personal space, and mindlessly watching TV. It was just what Clarke needed, some quiet time to chat with her besties, forgetting for a little while the emotional carnage of last night.

 

* * *

 

When Lexa and Uncle Gus made it back to the farmhouse around noon, they walked through the front door and were surprised to find a welcoming committee consisting of Maya, Aden, Luna, Anya, and all four pets.

“Oh, hey everyone,” Lexa said as she reached down to pet Yogi and Milo.

“My god, how are you feeling?” Maya asked as she gave her a hug.

“Ouch,” Lexa said. “Sore ribs.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Maya petted Lexa’s arm in sympathy.

“It’s okay.” She turned to Aden. “Hey little man,” she said, giving him a high five.

“I brought you Call of Duty, in case you’re laid up for a bit,” he said.

“Thanks ma dude. I’ll be sore for a few days, so this is the perfect medicine. Gotta practice so I can kick your ass next time.”

Luna came over and gave her a smack on the lips. “You were lucky it’s just sore ribs and a concussion. That could’ve been a lot more serious. I pulled the report.”

Anya gave her a soft hug. “Yeah, Jesus Lexa, be careful! Can’t have anything happening to my business partner, am I even in your will?” she asked playfully.

Uncle Gus gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I have to get going baby girl, you okay? I think I’m leaving you in good hands.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, Uncle Gus, thanks for picking me up.”

“Anytime, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure.” She gave him another hug before he left. Surviving what could have been a serious car accident made you appreciate the wonderful people in your life.

Lexa closed the door and turned back to her friends. “Thanks guys, for being here.”

“I made some meals for you and put them in the fridge,” Mother Hen Maya said.

“Oh, that’s so sweet, thanks. Sorry, I’m sure I look like hell.” Lexa self-consciously patted down her hair. She knew she looked awful, found that out when she caught her reflection in the side mirror of the car.

Maya continued clucking over her. “You’re fine. Nobody expects you to look your best after a night in the hospital.”

Anya chimed in, “My god Lexa, you were just in a car accident, we don’t expect you to look fresh as a daisy.”

“Yeah, you ain’t Wonder Woman, lady, you can look as bad as you want for a few days, we won’t judge you,” Luna said affectionately.

They all agreed, and she felt slightly better about her appearance. Lexa hoped she would be back to normal sooner than a few days. She could really use a shower, but her energy level was low. Just relaxing on the couch was the only thing on her mind. And hanging with all her close friends.

They turned the TV on and started making a fuss over her, propping her up on the sofa, getting extra pillows to make her more comfortable, getting her water, making her a snack, and basically waiting on her hand and foot. She was relishing the attention, as she lay prone on the couch. She promised Aden a rousing game of Call of Duty after resting her eyes for a few minutes. Bright light was causing her pain at the moment. They all insisted she not move a muscle, that they would take care of her. The kittens made themselves comfortable on her lap, purring and kneading. She closed her eyes and sighed with contentment, feeling loved.

Suddenly, there was the tell-tale buzz of incoming texts.

Luna, Maya, and Aden all looked down at their phones. It was a gif and a text from Raven:

 

 _Operation Popcorn is full steam ahead. phil has left the building, let me ELUCIDATE (Word of the Day, bitches!),  
_ _phil has left the building. it’s over! wedding cancelled! C headed over to L’s house now!! can you say, CLEXA!_

 

Lexa’s eyes remained closed, so she missed the reaction on their faces.

Maya, Aden and Luna all looked at each other, mouths hanging open. Anya leaned over Luna’s shoulder to see what the fuss was about.

After sharing a wordless high five for WOTD, each found some way to express their joy. Aden danced a quiet jig around the room, bumping butts with Luna. Anya limbo’d underneath an invisible bar and Maya did her best pole dance against the corner of the couch.

Lexa was totally oblivious to the merrymaking surrounding her.

Luna waved them into a huddle and they all silently mouthed questions to one another.

“Can you believe it?”  
“Oh, my god.”  
“Elucidate?”  
“Clarke’s coming now, holy shit.”  
“What do we do?”

Maya was the first to spring into action, already thinking two steps ahead. “Um, Lexa?”

Lexa opened her eyes and smiled, feeling relaxed and unmotivated. “Yeah?”

“Why don’t I comb your hair for you, maybe you’d feel better if I combed your hair.”

Anya seconded that motion. “Good idea, comb it now, Maya.”

Lexa looked confused. “Why do I need my hair combed, I’m not going anywhere, I’m just supposed to take it easy, right?”

Anya reached out and poked at Lexa’s hair. “Don’t be silly Lexa, you need your hair combed. I’m having trouble even looking at you right now.”

Her poking snagged a tangle and Lexa said, “Ouch,” as she reached up and rubbed her scalp.

Aden started holding his nose. “Dude, you smell, you really should take a shower.”

“Shower? You all just told me I was fine.”

“Well, that was before we smelled you,” Luna said, shushing the kittens away and pulling her up from the couch. “My god, you’re abhorrent.” She started dragging Lexa out of the living room.

Lexa looked back at everyone, clearly having no idea what was going on. “What? Wasn’t that Word of the Day? How do you know—”

“God, you look awful.” Anya joined Luna in ushering Lexa to the bathroom. “C’mon, let’s get you showered.”

Lexa was an unwilling shower participant, wanting only to lie down. “But I just came home from the hospital.”

Anya shook her head. “That’s no excuse for poor hygiene, Lexa. Next thing you know, you’ll be sleeping under some bridge in the city.”

“What? What does not wanting to shower have to do with being a hobo?”

They pulled her into the master bathroom, while Maya looked on anxiously from the hallway.

Anya turned on the water as Luna started removing Lexa’s clothes.

“Whoa, whoa!” Lexa said, holding up her hands. “I can do it.” Even semi-concussed, the Luna Effect held sway. “Turn around, please.”

In the interest of speeding things along, Luna held her tongue and made no mention of Lexa’s idiotic modesty around her.

They had her naked and in the shower in record time.

“Do you need me to wash your hair?” Anya asked.

“Can’t I just rinse off? I don’t feel like doing my hair,” Lexa called from behind the curtain. “Where’s my shower cap?” She went to reach for it, a blind hand waving at the hook by the shower. Anya made a quick grab of the duck-covered cap and tossed it to Luna, who snapped it rubber-band style across the bedroom to Maya, who caught it and passed it to Aden, who ran back into the living room with it.

“Your cap’s not here, just wash your hair. It smells.”

Lexa pulled the curtain back and looked at the empty hook. “It was right there. My cap was right there. What happened to it?”

“I don’t know. Are you sure it was there? You do have a concussion you know. Concussions can cause hallucinations.” Anya said, turning to look at Luna with a ‘what the fuck do I know’ look.

Lexa stared blankly at the hook, shrugged her shoulders, and closed the curtain. Now that her hair was wet, she may as well wash it.

Anya yanked the shower curtain open and threw Lexa’s toothbrush at her, hitting her square in the chest. “Ow.”

“Brush your teeth!” The shower curtain was yanked back into place.

Lexa bent over and picked up her toothbrush, a little grossed out that it was on the shower floor. She held it up to the stream of water and rinsed it. Was her breath really that bad? She cupped a hand in front of her mouth and blew, giving a quick sniff, shrugging her shoulders. It must be bad.

“I need the—” before she could finish a tube of Colgate came whizzing by her head, making her flinch. She had no clue what had gotten into everyone. She thought it was in her best interest to just brush her damn teeth, wash her damn hair, and get the hell out of the shower before she sustained another injury.

When Lexa was done showering and drying off, she was pulled over to her bed by Matchmaker Maya. “Which outfit do you like?”

Lexa stared at the bed covered in clothes. “I really just wanna put my sweat pants on. I don’t feel like getting dressed.”

“Don’t be a slob, Lexa. You’ve got company,” Anya said.

“It’s just you guys. I’m not putting jeans on. I just wanna lie on the couch,” she whined.

“Don’t be such a baby, put them on,” Anya demanded.

“What happened to, ‘you’re lucky to be alive, Lexa, just relax, Lexa, nobody cares what you look like, Lexa.’ What happened to that?”

“That was so ten minutes ago,” Anya snapped.

After much arguing back and forth, Lexa ended up in one of her nicer pair of sweatpants and a green hoodie that matched her eyes. Wasn’t exactly what Matchmaker Maya had hoped for, but Lexa was stubborn, this was the best they could do.

Lexa went back to the living room and plopped on the couch, exhausted from the added exertion.

Aden, who had been sent outside on a reconnaissance mission for Raven via text, came bursting through the front door, signaling with his hand that Clarke was coming up the driveway.

Lexa was staring at the boob tube, settling in for the afternoon. She was thankful for the company, even if they were all acting like whack jobs. “Maybe we could all eat some of the stuff that Maya brought over,” she said. When she was met with silence, she looked around at the faces of her friends.

“Can’t, sorry, we have to go,” Luna said, putting her jacket on.

“We gotta thing,” Anya added, “Later!”

“A thing?” Lexa asked. “What thing?” But they were already gone.

She looked at Maya, who blurted out, “Aden has a soccer game.”

“I thought his season was over?” Lexa asked.

“No, this is...another season, summer league.”

“He never played summer league before. Send me the schedule so I can come to some games.”

“It’s only one game,” Maya said, grabbing her purse and yanking Aden out the door.

“What kind of league only has one game?”

“We’re late, I’ll talk to you later.”

And before you knew it, Lexa was alone. She looked around, finding it hard to believe how quickly they all deserted her. Her bottom lip jutted out in a pout. Sitting around by herself seemed unappealing and lonely. As she wallowed in a shallow pool of self-pity, the doorbell rang. The dogs were suddenly very agitated and excited, tails wagging furiously. Lexa figured maybe Anya and Luna decided to come back and keep her company. When she opened the door, her heart jumped into her throat. Clarke was standing there. “Clarke?”

“Hi, I wanted to check on you, so I thought I’d just stop by. I just saw the gang as they were leaving. They all seemed to be in a rush to get out of here. What happened? Are you still grumpy?” Clarke asked with her hands on her hips.

“No, I’m not grumpy. I may have whined a little bit. But, I was not grumpy. I don’t know what got into them,” she said, looking past Clarke at the cars speeding out of the driveway. “C’mon in, I’m happy for the company. I thought they would hang around a bit, but they all just got up and left…” Lexa hesitated, almost saying it was as if they wanted us to be alone. She cocked an eyebrow as she pondered that. Naaah, they couldn’t have known, that would make them psychic. “Come in, come in.”

Clarke walked past her and stood in the foyer as the dogs demanded her attention, pushing against her legs. “Oh, here are my boys. You guys missed me, didn’t you? Good boys.” She squatted down and hugged them both, and promptly got pushed to the ground by their exuberance.

“Hey boys, that’s enough, Jesus, calm down. Let her get up. Sorry Clarke.”

“They can’t help it if they love me,” she said with a smile, not upset to be on the seat of her pants getting doggie kisses.

Lexa gave her a hand up off the floor. Clarke pulled her in for a hug, and Lexa melted into her, wrapping her up, ignoring the pain in her ribs for this small bit of intimacy, holding the hug way past standard hug time. She was obviously in a weakened state, what with the concussion and all. And Clarke was comfortable.

Clarke stepped out of the hug to look around the room and Lexa missed her immediately.

“Okay, where are those kittens? I see one, and there’s the other one, and oh, what’s he got in his mouth?”

“Huh?” Lexa looked down at her kitten, “What the heck?”

“Is that a shower cap?” Clarke asked, prying it out of the kitten’s mouth and holding it up. “Is this yours?”

“Maybe?”

“It’s got ducks on it.”

“So?” Lexa grabbed the cap and shoved it in her pocket.

Clarke started giggling, “Nice shower cap, Lexa.”

“Enough. You’re my doctor. You’re not supposed to make fun of me.”

“True. I apologize. It just kinda quacked me up.”

Lexa stared at her, trying very hard not to laugh. “Is that supposed to be funny?” She secretly loved goofy Clarke.

Clarke kept a straight face, “Yes, Linda, yes, it was supposed to be funny.”

The Linda comment cracked them both up.

“Okay, enough,” Clarke said. “Let’s get quacking, where’s those kittens? Come here baby, let me see how big you got. They grow so fast don’t they?” She bent down and picked up the closest one, kissing him on the cheek and getting a paw to the face for her troubles. “Now I get my formal introduction. Lexa? Please introduce me.”

Lexa bit her lip and put her hand behind her neck, rubbing at some imaginary crick, “Ah, that’s, um, Thumper,” she said sheepishly, suddenly slightly embarrassed to admit what she named them.

Clarke’s mouth formed an ‘O’. “Thumper? You named him Thumper? Oh my god, you used my favorite name!” She hugged the kitten tighter and got another swat on the nose.

“Well, he likes to thump you, so it really fit. It was perfect.”

Clarke released Thumper and bent down for the other one. “And who’s this handsome fellow?”

“Um. That’s...ah...Tigger.” Lexa felt her cheeks grow warm with a blush.

“Tigger!” Clarke yelled gleefully, a surprised look on her face. “Oh my god, you used both of my favorite names. Oh my god. That’s so awesome.”

She held the kitten to her cheek, and Lexa swore she saw Clarke’s eyes get moist. She must have been hallucinating again. That was it. Surely the kittens’ names wouldn’t have such an effect on Clarke’s tear ducts.

“It’s so cool. I feel honored that you used those names, I really do.” Clarke was beaming.

Lexa blinked, because the moisture was still there. Impossible. But then Clarke did a quick wipe of her eyes and a tiny sniffle. Maybe Clarke was just emotional today. Maybe she was on her period. And just like that an image of Octavia and the grenade launcher floated before her eyes and she shuddered. She wondered if Clarke developed violent tendencies while menstruating. Jesus Christ where did that come from? Stupid concussion.

After greeting all the animals, Clarke turned her attention back to Lexa. “How you doing? You look good.”

“Ugh, Luna and Anya forced me into the shower, trying to make me get all dressed up, like they were getting me ready for a date or some…” Lexa paused, her eyes narrowed as a teeny spark of suspicion pricked at her brain. Naaaah…no way they could’ve known. Could they? Hm, Luna _was_ a super detective.

“How’s your body feel?”

“Huh? Oh, I still have a headache. My ribs are sore and my neck hurts a little bit. Other than that, I think I’m good.”

“Did you take anything for the headache?”

“They gave me some Motrin before I left the hospital, but it’s not working. I feel really tired, and the lights seem really bright.”

“That’s a by-product of your concussion. Might take a while for those symptoms to go away.”

“I feel like lying on the couch and not getting up, to be honest.”

“Well, go ahead, lie down. Better yet, here, I know some pressure points for headaches.” Clarke sat on the couch and patted the empty space next to her. “Lie down and put your head in my lap.”

Lexa just stared at her for a second, trying to comprehend what Clarke just asked her to do. Does one hear things while concussed also? Because lying with her head in Clarke’s lap, while incredibly, unbelievably appealing, seemed like crossing that imaginary friendship line.

Clarke was having none of it. “Come on, Lexa. Lie down, I don’t bite.”

Lexa weighed her options. Should she? Or shouldn’t she? Surely, refusing would be rude. Clarke was trying to help. Clarke was her doctor. At least she was last night. That must’ve carried over into today. “Okay, if you think it’ll help.”

“It might, c’mon.”

Lexa gingerly got on the couch, situated herself properly, lying on her back, and slowly put her head into Clarke’s lap.

“Close your eyes.”

Lexa did as she was told. Clarke’s fingers danced gently over her face and Lexa sighed. The touch was so tender it was almost heartbreaking, because it was what a lover would do, in Lexa’s opinion. And Clarke was not her lover. Would probably never be her lover.

Now Clarke’s fingertips were pressing under her eyebrows, and Lexa felt relief from the pain in her head. Those magic fingers moved to her temple and applied the same pressure, and Lexa felt her body relaxing into the touch. A sense of peace and comfort came over her. A feeling like this was where she was supposed to be. Could she lie here forever? She wanted to. Her mind slowly drifted off, all thoughts evaporating, save for one, that she was in heaven, and Clarke was her angel.

Clarke knew when Lexa fell asleep. She felt the tension leave her body and her breath even out. Since her fingers were still touching Lexa’s face, she grew bolder and brushed her hands across Lexa’s cheeks, a feathery, soft fingertip across her lips. Clarke was more content than she had ever been. All the emotional upheaval from last night melted away as she stared at the woman she was in love with. She was torn about how much she should share with Lexa. Was she ready to talk about the breakup? No. Not right now. She needed a few weeks to process things herself. Running from one set of arms into another was never a good thing. And that was assuming Lexa was even interested in being the next set of arms. The jury was still out on that.

Lexa mumbled in her sleep and turned, her nose pressing into Clarke’s belly, arms snaking around her waist as she nuzzled closer to Clarke’s body. Now it was Clarke’s turn to feel like she died and went to heaven. She trailed her fingertips along Lexa’s scalp and was rewarded with a tiny squeak of pleasure. But she was still fast asleep, so Clarke settled in for the long haul, content to hold Lexa like this for however long she could. The TV was still on, so she picked up the remote that was on the arm of the sofa and flipped through the stations.

 

Lexa’s eyes slowly blinked open, her body feeling warm and cozy. When she realized where she was, she gave a start.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you,” Clarke said, reaching out and stroking Lexa’s back.

“How long was I out?” she asked, her voice garbled with sleep.

“About an hour.”

“God, sorry. That must’ve been uncomfortable.”

“Not at all. It was...” Clarke wanted to say wonderful. She wanted to say it was the best hour of her life. “Fine.” She settled for fine.

Lexa struggled to get up, but Clarke was adamant, pushing her gently back down. “Hey, relax, it’s okay. How’s your head feel?”

Lexa gave up the ghost and collapsed back into Clarke’s lap. Who was she to argue with a beautiful woman? Especially one Clarke Griffin, haunter of dreams and thief of hearts. Oh boy, that was goofy. She was definitely gonna blame that on the concussion. She turned towards the TV. “It feels a little better, thank you. What are we watching? Oh my god, is that _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_?” she asked, looking up at Clarke.

Clarke grinned, “Can you believe it? It’s on AMC. Of course, I had to watch it.”

“Of course, you did,” Lexa said with playful smile. She turned her attention back to the TV. Clarke was rubbing a hand up and down Lexa’s arm now. She was a little taken aback by Clarke’s affection. Perhaps she treated all her patients like this. In her current condition, Lexa was not about to complain. It felt so comforting, so right.

“You know, this was my Gram Ev’s favorite movie.”

“It was?” Clarke’s fingers moved to her scalp, massaging and rubbing, which was sheer bliss. Lexa closed her eyes and hoped she wasn’t drooling. Dr. Clarke was aggressively affectionate, and she was digging it.

“Yep. She had a super big crush on Paul Newman. So, every time it was on, we would watch it together. We would both just lounge on the couch, all snuggled up, and watch it.”

“That’s so cool, Clarke. I wish I could’ve met her, she sounded wonderful.”

“I think she would’ve liked you,” Clarke said.

Lexa turned her head and looked up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Lexa got caught staring into blue eyes and couldn’t look away. The look in them was different than any time before, softer, full of tenderness and care. Lexa fought the urge to pull Clarke down to her lips. She turned back to the TV before she made an ass out of herself, kissing her friend. She was probably just seeing things again, seeing things that weren’t there, wishing to see things she would never see.

They both gave a jolt when Clarke’s phone trilled, ringtone blaring. Clarke made no move to look at it as it lay on the coffee table.

“Do you need to get that?” Lexa asked.

Clarke sighed, not wanting to interrupt this incredible moment with Lexa. “I guess it could be the hospital.” She reached out and grabbed it. One look at Caller ID and she gulped. Mom. She waited until it went to voicemail. Dread settled in the pit of her stomach. Pushing the playback button, she put the phone up to her ear. Her mom’s voice was loud and agitated.

“Clarke, where are you? Finn’s mom called and said you two broke up, what’s going on? Why haven’t you called us? The wedding is coming up soon, you probably just have cold feet. Everyone has been working so hard planning this, you can’t just call it off. Now call me back immediately so we can fix this.”

Lexa heard the whole thing. She got up and quickly moved to the other side of the couch, pulling her knees tight to her chest, a look of disbelief on her face, her mouth half open, eyes questioning. “You...you broke up?” she stammered.

Clarke looked at her, nervously brushing a hand through her hair, and nodded.

“When?”

“Last night.”

Lexa’s brow creased in confusion. “But you were with me last night.”

“He showed up at the hospital looking for me. I missed his business dinner. I forgot all about it.” Clarke took Lexa’s hand. “You were asleep.”

“Were you gonna tell me?” Lexa continued to hold her hand, refusing to break the connection.

Clarke half nodded. “I was...I just...needed a little time.”

Lexa bit her bottom lip and nodded back, understanding in her eyes. She wouldn’t be too keen to shout out to everyone that she was breaking off a three-year engagement either. A tiny voice in her head whispered, “Clarke is available now.” And then, somewhere inside, a sprig of hope. An infinitesimal spark. A small seed planted deep in her heart. Would she have a chance with Clarke now? And if not now, someday?

Clarke glanced nervously at the phone, her mouth pinched with worry. “I think I have to deal with this.” She looked at Lexa, letting go of her hand. “I’m sorry, I should probably go and call her. It’s not gonna be pretty.”

“Oh yeah, it’s your mom, she needs to know. You gotta talk to her.”

Clarke got up from the couch, and Lexa followed her to the door. She said goodbye to each animal, bestowing a kiss on each one. When it was Lexa’s turn for a goodbye, she simply hugged her. “Make sure you get plenty of rest. I think I may just...take some time to process all this, you know? So, if you don’t hear from me, I’m not purposefully ignoring you or anything like that, okay?” She pulled back to gauge Lexa’s reaction.

“Sure Clarke, I understand. I’ll be here if you need to talk.”

Clarke reached up and gently cupped her face, her eyes full of warm emotion. “I know where to find you.” She grabbed her and held her again, running her hands up and down her back, not wanting to leave like this. But she had to face the music with her family, and the sooner the better. So, she let go and walked away, turning once to wave.

Lexa smiled at her and watched her walk to her car. She leaned against the door jam, staring down the empty driveway long after Clarke had left. That seed in her heart? Just sprouted.

 

* * *

 

Lexa spent the next few days just trying to feel better. Slowly the headaches did subside, and her ribs stopped aching. Her sensitivity to light stayed, but she could tell that was getting better, also. As far as any Clarke interaction, she hadn’t heard from her since that day she left. Ontari was picking up Oliver, so there was no chance of an accidental meeting. Lexa found that she spent even more time with Oliver when he was at daycare, because it was a tenuous connection to Clarke. She spent her days thinking about her, worrying about her, wondering what she was doing and thinking. Countless texts were written and never sent, just stared at and deleted.

The first week she had remained hopeful. Hopeful that Clarke would find her way back. Which was silly, because that implied they were _something_ and then they weren’t. That they started something and stopped.

As the next few weeks slipped by, she began doubting the signals she saw that day, the look in Clarke’s eyes, that touch goodbye, the affection. At work, she saw pity in Anya’s eyes, so she must’ve found out about Clarke and Finn. Nothing was spoken, no mention of her feelings for Clarke. Anya respected her privacy, so she never asked probing questions. Lexa decided that it was in her best interest to stop obsessing over it for now, best to save herself the pain and heartache. If Clarke wanted her, Clarke knew where to find her. So, she took that seedling in her heart, tucked it away in a dark place and shut the door.

 

* * *

 

Four weeks to the day of her accident, Lexa was sitting on the couch, glasses on, laptop perched on her thighs, trying to get some work done for the business. There were no overnights at the kennel today, so she was enjoying a nice, tranquil, Saturday afternoon. Up until a few days ago, she had trouble staring at a computer screen. But things in her head seemed to be getting back to normal. One kitten was in her lap, and the other pawed continuously at her hands on the keyboard. The dogs started to whine, and both ran to the front door.

“What’s up buddies? Someone out there?”

Milo started pawing at the door while Yogi barked.

She got up to see why they were so worked up. “Hey Milo, don’t scratch buddy.” Through the window she saw a shadowy figure standing off to the side, so she threw open the door. Her heart completely stopped beating. There was Clarke—wearing a black sweater and a light summer jacket—standing with her hands in the back pockets of her jeans—looking sexy and beautiful. All the hard work of trying to put Clarke on the back burner flew out the window. The seedling in her heart moved into the light. And she may have watered it. “Clarke.”

“Hey.” The dogs scooted out the door, and twisted around Clarke in joy, leaving their feet to try and get a lick in.

“Boys, calm down. Don’t jump on her.”

Clarke leaned down to give them hugs and kisses. “I see my dogs still love me.”

Lexa wanted to shout that they weren’t the only ones. “You wanna come in?”

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“Sure, c’mon. Hey, Milo, Yogi, in the house, now, let’s go, let Clarke come in.” Everyone came back into the house. Lexa closed the door and turned to face Clarke.

“Where are my kittens? There you are.” Both padded softly over to Clarke, rubbing against her legs and purring up at her. “Hello Thumper, hello Tigger, how are my babies?” She leaned over and scratched them both under their chins, laughing when they rolled over onto their backs at the same time.

Lexa couldn’t quite read the vibe Clarke was giving off, but something seemed different. She wondered if she straightened things out with her family. Did she get back together with Finn? God, she hoped not.

“I love those glasses on you,” Clarke said, as she continued to pet the kittens. “They’re very sexy,” she said in a hushed voice. She got up and started pacing around the living room, fingering the lampshade, brushing her hand across the end tables next to the couch.

Lexa quietly accepted the compliment, feeling a flicker of warmth in her chest. Clarke seemed restless, so Lexa waited patiently for her to say more, feeling certain she didn’t drive all the way out here just to tell her she looked sexy in glasses. Although that would’ve been kind of romantic. Clarke’s perfume wafted around the room and Lexa felt _weak_.

Clarke stopped in front of the fireplace, perusing the various family pictures that sat on the mantle. “I tried,” she said softly.

Lexa had to strain to hear her. She waited for more. When the silence continued, she cleared her throat. “Tried what?”

“I tried to stay away.” Clarke wouldn’t look at Lexa, her eyes glued to the mantle.

“Stay away from what, Clarke?” Lexa held her breath.

“You.”

Lexa blew out her breath.

Clarke turned, and their eyes finally met. “I tried to stay away from you.” She walked over to the window and stared outside, her back to Lexa. “You see, I know Finn and I broke up just a few weeks ago. And I know that I should take some time to be alone.”

Lexa was back to holding her breath, thinking her face was probably turning blue by now.

“And I know I shouldn’t drag you into this mess of a life I have right now. But…” she sighed, “I got in my car today. I just wanted to drive, somewhere, anywhere, just to get away from things. I ended up here. It was like I blacked out until I was at your door.” Clarke turned and faced Lexa again, her eyes full of emotion. “I get it, if it’s too much to handle, me showing up like this.” She glanced back out the window. “I’m barely handling it myself. Feel free to tell me to leave, I would totally understand.”

Lexa exhaled. Her heartbeat ticked up. The first thought in her head was that Clarke came back. Clarke couldn’t stay away. Lexa tried to tamp down the joy that was now growing exponentially in her heart, she tried to play it cool, but the way Clarke was looking at her right now, her eyes soft and vulnerable, ripped at her insides. Now Lexa was the one who couldn’t stay away, and she slowly walked over to Clarke. When she stood in front of her, she reached out and grabbed both of her hands. She inched closer, their arms hanging down at their sides, hands still clasped. Lexa leaned in and rested her forehead against Clarke’s, closing her eyes. A slight tilt of her head and her nose brushed Clarke’s. They stood like that for a few seconds.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Lexa said softly, running her thumbs along the palms of Clarke’s hands.

“I missed you.” It was Clarke’s turn to brush their noses, her mouth slightly open, reaching. “I tried not to miss you.” Her mouth remained open and moving dangerously close to Lexa’s lips. “So, just to summarize here,” she said slowly, “I tried to stay away, and I tried not to miss you. And failed miserably. At both.”

With Clarke’s lips so tantalizingly close, Lexa’s chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. “I should have dared you to come back,” Lexa said, her mouth aching to move closer. Was it possible to be this close and not touching?

Clarke chuckled, her body shifting closer still.

“I should have said, ‘Clarke Griffin, I dare you to come see me.’” Lexa’s lips curled up slightly at the thought of Clarke Griffin being dared.

Clarke could feel the heat of Lexa’s mouth, feel her warm breath, they were that ridiculously close. “Ah, see?” Clarke murmured, her mouth quivering slightly. “This is all your fault, obviously.” Her bottom lip jutted out slightly, brushing against Lexa’s bottom lip. “These four weeks of hell. I should have—”

“Clarke?” Lexa never wanted anybody as much as she wanted Clarke, the hunger was starting to consume her. Their last kiss seemed like a lifetime ago. She needed this now. Right fucking now.

“Yeah?”

“I dare you to kiss me,” she breathed against Clarke’s lips.

A perfect dare. A wicked grin. “A dare?”

Lexa solemnly nodded her head once. “Show me whatcha got, Clarke,” she whispered.

That tiny space between their mouths disappeared as Clarke pressed moist lips to Lexa’s. Both exhaled into the other’s mouth, groaning with pleasure. Their lips moved in tandem, opening at the same time as tongues explored and entwined. For the first time there was no rush, no worry of interruptions, no guilt. The pace was leisurely, each content to just explore. Lips and tongues melded perfectly together, as they teased and searched, reacquainting themselves with each other’s rhythm.

Lexa’s hands wandered over Clarke’s back, then sank low to grab her ass and squeeze—pulling her closer, slipping her leg between Clarke’s—grinding with her hips to try and soothe the sweet ache between her legs. Her lips trailed down Clarke’s neck, her teeth nipping and her tongue soothing.

Clarke pulled back, and Lexa stopped the assault on her neck. With seductive eyes, Clarke took a step backwards, blue never leaving green, as she slowly pulled off her jacket and dropped it on the chair. She continued walking away from Lexa and towards the bedroom, stopping long enough to remove her shoes. Next came the sweater, getting tossed back down the hallway, leaving her in a tank top and jeans. She crooked a finger back at Lexa to encourage pursuit.

Lexa fainted, or died, or both. At least it felt like she did. Because this was a dream come to life, a dream from last week, with Clarke beckoning to her, stripping down and leading her to the promised land. She may have whimpered, a pathetic sound that she hoped Clarke didn’t hear. She threw her glasses on the table and took off after her, stocking feet slipping on the wood flooring. She righted herself and caught Clarke at the entrance to the bedroom, grabbing her outstretched hand. Kicking back with her leg, she shut the door, not wanting any furry interruptions.

Clarke jammed Lexa against the closed door and brought her mouth to Lexa’s for another knee-knocking kiss. She broke it off and continued leading her by the hand, heading towards the bed. “Let me warn you, I’m pretty good at this.”

Lexa didn’t know how she was managing to put one foot in front of the other. “Yes, we did establish that you’re a good kisser.”

Clarke stopped at the bed, re-positioning them so that the back of Lexa’s knees bumped into the bed frame. She leaned in to Lexa’s ear, “I’m not talking about kissing.”

Up went Lexa’s brows, “Oh yeah?” A sly smile made it to her lips. “Well. I’m pretty good at that, too.”

Clarke leered at her, “I guess we’re about to find out...” she moved in, kissing Lexa again, sucking on her bottom lip and releasing it, “who’s better.”

It sounded like a win-win to Lexa. She put hands behind Clarke’s head to bring her closer, “I accept that challenge,” she said, her voice throaty and low, giving Clarke a feather-light kiss. Anticipation flowed through her veins, pumping out in every direction. Lexa’s chest was heaving, the ache low in her belly threatening to unhinge her. Right now, Clarke filled her world. The thought of finally touching her was almost too much to bear.

Clarke’s arms encircled her neck as she pulled Lexa in for another passionate, furious kiss, pressing fully into Lexa’s body. When they broke apart, Clarke caressed her cheek, lips twitching at the corners, “Any other dares?” she asked suggestively.

Lexa’s eyes darkened with desire, she had a string of dares floating around in her head right now. “I dare you to take my shirt off,” she said seductively, leaning in to playfully nip at Clarke’s bottom lip.

Clarke hooked her fingers around the bottom Lexa’s hoodie and whipped it over her head, tossing it aside. She ran a hand over the soft red T-shirt that was underneath, her breath hitching when she discovered Lexa was braless. Lexa raised her arms in the air as Clarke removed the shirt.

Clarke stepped back to take a good, long look. She was transfixed. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” she said, her voice thick with want. She reached forward, cupping Lexa’s breasts, as her mouth found its way back to Lexa’s. While she busied herself with Lexa’s luscious bottom lip, her thumbs rolled over Lexa’s nipples, tweaking and circling, causing the brunette to stop moving her mouth so she could moan in pleasure.

Lexa’s hands gripped at Clarke’s back, slipping under her shirt to wander over bare skin. The heat between her legs was like an inferno, her underwear unbearably wet. She resisted the urge to put Clarke’s hand down her pants, so Clarke could feel what she was doing to her. All in due time. But she did need everything off soon or she’d die from sexual frustration.

Thankfully, Clarke was on the same page, as her hands left Lexa’s nipples and trailed down her belly, coming to a stop at the button of her jeans, which came open with the flick of a finger. Clarke began kissing and lightly sucking on Lexa’s neck, as her hand continued downward, slipping under cotton undies, straight down to the motherlode. The sound that came out of their mouths at the same time was animal-like in its intensity, as Clarke’s fingers moved through Lexa’s slick, wet folds. Lexa subconsciously spread her legs, allowing for more access.

“Jesus Lexa, you’re so wet,” Clarke mumbled into her neck. She brought her hand back out, moved it to her mouth and licked her fingers, a look of ecstasy on her face as the other hand pulled at the zipper of Lexa’s jeans.

Lexa nearly passed out watching Clarke taste her arousal. Competitive Clarke was obviously all in, laying everything on the table. This would be hard to top. More moisture pooled between her legs, as she watched Clarke work over her own fingers. Lexa’s breathing became ragged, “Oh god, Clarke.” Her legs were about to give out. Before she fell into a heap on the floor, she needed Clarke in some state of undress, so she reached out and pulled Clarke’s tank off. And there was the light, blue bra. Lexa’s eyes glazed over, mesmerized by it, and her hands instinctively went to Clarke’s breasts, cupping them and caressing them through the lacy fabric, nipples already peaking and stiff. She stared at them, almost reverently, recalling in vivid detail all the dreams that haunted her these past few months.

“These are really spectacular.” Lexa wished she could’ve made that sound sexier, but she felt the need to verbalize her appreciation, and her mind was too clouded with lust to come up with something better. It was time for the unveiling. She held her breath and reached out a shaky hand to lift a strap and slowly slide it down Clarke’s shoulder. The other one soon followed.

Clarke shrugged out of the bra, unhooked it and tossed it on the floor.

And there they were, in all their glory, ripe and oh so lush, begging for attention. Lexa wanted to pinch herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Instead she reached out, pinching an already engorged nipple, rolling it between her thumb and forefinger while Clarke hissed with pleasure. Her other hand went to the other breast, not wanting it to feel left out, repeating the same motion, rolling, pinching and pulling, and it still wasn’t enough for Lexa, so she bent her head down, mouth latching onto one, then the other, sucking and flicking her tongue until Clarke was a writhing, hot mess.

Clarke found the strength to push Lexa away, because she had other things on her mind, first and foremost was putting her mouth all over Lexa’s body. She glanced at the expression on Lexa’s face, which was one of utter disappointment, like someone took away her most prized possession, and it made her giggle. She took pity on her and kissed her again. Her mouth hungry, taking all that Lexa had to give, while her hands grabbed Lexa’s jeans and hiked them down as far as her arms could reach. Lexa wiggled them down the rest of the way, stepping out of them, eagerly removing her socks and ruined panties. She stood up, totally naked, offering herself to Clarke.

Clarke was almost moved to tears, drinking her in. She’d never seen anybody so perfect and breathtaking. She quickly removed her own pants and underwear and they both stood close, each devouring the other with their eyes. Lexa ran a finger up Clarke’s arm and she shivered, and it wasn’t from the cold. Clarke stepped forward, her body nudging Lexa’s down onto the bed.

Lexa collapsed onto the mattress, and watched as Clarke crawled over her, laying her body completely on top of Lexa, nipples brushing nipples. Clarke was hungrily kissing her again, sending Lexa’s senses into a tailspin. She already felt ready to burst, so she tried to slow her breathing down, wanting to prolong the pleasure. Not wanting to come undone so soon like some teenage boy.

“How am I doing so far?” Clarke asked, as her lips made their way down Lexa’s neck, her tongue gliding over her pulse point.

Lexa’s heart pumped violently against her ribs as Clarke sucked greedily at the base of her throat, knowing that would probably leave a mark, and not caring. “Not bad, not bad,” Lexa said breathlessly, not ready to crown a winner just yet, “I think you’re doing fine.” That was the understatement of the year.

By the time Clarke made it down to her breasts, Lexa was adrift, her body felt like it was floating in midair. ‘Oh god’s’ slipped repeatedly from her lips as she tried to hold off her orgasm. Clarke’s tongue on her nipples was driving her completely insane. Maybe this was all a dream, because Clarke was causing sensations the likes of which Lexa never felt before. Only a dream lover would be this perfect. She knew that it would not take much more to send her spiraling over the edge.

Clarke’s hand reached between her legs and a loud groan escaped Lexa’s lips. She fought for control, because god help her, she wanted to feel Clarke’s mouth on her. She tried to direct her to where she needed her most, reaching down to move Clarke’s head lower, her voice pleading, her legs falling apart invitingly, “Clarke, I’m so close, I wanna feel your—”

She was cut off by the sensation of Clarke’s mouth, which was licking and sucking its way across her belly and finally traveling south. Lexa gasped as Clarke’s finger circled her opening, and she was not ashamed to raise her hips up, encouraging Clarke to slip that finger inside and drive her bat-shit crazy.

Clarke was only too happy to oblige, and she sunk her finger in all the way, hooking it while she slid it in and out. Soon her tongue found Lexa’s clit, and she massaged it and stabbed at it, feeling it harden. It’d been so long since Clarke had been with a woman, she forgot how intoxicating it was, she felt drunk on the taste and smell of Lexa. She slipped a second finger in and Lexa’s hips bucked, and they started to move in time with Clarke’s fingers, meeting each thrust with her own.

Lexa began panting quiet expletives, finding it hard to take a deep breath, a few more seconds and she would completely lose it. “Oh fuck, fuck, Clarke,” and suddenly, she was free falling, bright lights exploded behind her closed eyes as the orgasm ricocheted through her body, her back arching off the bed. She called out Clarke’s name with each pulsating wave. It seemed to stretch on forever with an intensity that was astounding. Lexa felt like she was breaking apart at the seams. Finally, the last wave subsided, and the jack hammering of her heart slowed.

Her hands were tangled in blonde hair, as she tried to catch her breath. But Clarke had other ideas. Her tongue was swirling around an already drenched opening, then darting in while her thumb gently rubbed Lexa’s sensitive clit. Lexa sucked in her breath, feeling the familiar tightening low in her belly. And just like that, Clarke coaxed another orgasm from her, this one sharper and shorter, but just as satisfying. When the throbbing inside finally stopped, Lexa melted into the sheets, spent, wondering what the hell just hit her. Her eyes were wide, staring up at the ceiling, her heart beating erratically. She couldn’t move any of her limbs. She did manage a slight nod of her head as she thought, yep, Clarke was pretty damn good at this.

Speaking of Clarke, she was slowly making her way back to Lexa’s mouth, kissing across her abs, those wonderful hard abs, over her breasts, across her collar bone, covering areas she missed on the way down. One last deep kiss and she slid off to the side, lying full length against Lexa’s body. She put her head in her hand and lightly trailed a finger across Lexa’s chest, circling her nipple playfully. She looked lovingly into Lexa’s eyes. “You okay?” she asked.

Lexa was still in a dream-like trance, having yet to come down from one of the most spectacular orgasms of her life. Clarke’s voice seemed to come from far away.

Clarke leaned down and nibbled on her ear lobe. “Has anybody ever told you that you have adorable ears.” She sucked it into her mouth and released it.

Lexa was finally returning to earth. Her breathing slowed down, her pulse almost back to normal. She moved so that she was on her side facing Clarke, lying close with her hand resting possessively on Clarke’s hip. “It’s usually the first thing I hear.” She began kissing Clarke’s jaw line.

Clarke grinned, “Oh yeah?”

“Many women have complimented me on my ears,” she said between kisses.

“Oh, is that so? Many women?” Clarke pinched a nipple.

Lexa flinched and chuckled. “Now these, I just have to say,” she reached out and fondled Clarke’s breasts, “I’ve had many a sleepless night thinking about these.” She leaned down to flick a nipple with her tongue. “They’ve starred in many of my dreams.”

“Mmhmm.” Clarke’s eyes squeezed shut with the sweet torment of Lexa’s tongue. “How often did you dream about me?”

“Every fucking night. At least it felt like every fucking night. That little striptease thing you did earlier? Was straight out of my dream from last week.” Her tongue continued teasing Clarke’s nipples.

Clarke giggled. “I had one very similar to that about two months ago.”

Lexa looked at Clarke with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Well, it seems we both like you getting naked for me.” She bent her head down and nibbled on a rose-colored nipple.

Clarke let out a small gasp as she ran her hands through Lexa’s hair. “We may have to re-create all our dreams.”

“Ha! That could take all week.”

“Sounds good to me.” Clarke rolled on top of Lexa, pushing her onto her back. “So, tell me Miss Woods, how was it?” She lightly kissed her neck.

Lexa became thoughtful. “I’ve had better.”

Clarke pulled back in a panic, thinking she shat the bed, figuratively speaking of course. “What?”

She was met by teasing green eyes, as Lexa reached out and brushed her thumb along Clarke’s bottom lip. She pursed her lips, eyes narrowing in concentration. “I’ve had better.”

Clarke cocked a brow and one corner of her mouth lifted, as she played along, “I can do better.” She nodded, “I know I can do better.”

And they both started laughing, remembering that fateful day in the golf course bathroom. Each trying to best the other, each wanting to be crowned “top kisser.” Each knowing there was more going on than just a game.

Clarke shook her head as she remembered how she battled her inner demons all day long. “All I wanted to do was hate you. And it was like, impossible.”

“Well, I’m impossible to hate. It’s the ears,” Lexa said confidently.

“You know, if Raven didn’t come in that day, this might not be our first time.”

“I think you’re right. God you were so sexy in your little golf outfit,” Lexa said with lust in her eyes. “You were in my lap and your panties were soaked and I was dying I wanted you so bad.”

Lexa rolled Clarke over onto her back and stared down at her. She knew what she wanted to say, she wanted to declare her feelings, wanted to tell the whole world. But she didn’t. It was only their first time being together, and she didn’t want to be that person who shouted out their love while in the throes of passion. There would be plenty of time for declarations. Lexa leaned down and kissed her instead, softly at first, then more demanding. They opened their mouths and sighed at the same time, as their tongues probed and stroked.

Clarke’s hips began moving when Lexa moved to her neck, her mouth nipping and nibbling. She was amazed at how fully aroused she already was, her body feeling so alive with Lexa. These past few years sex seemed so uninteresting, more like a chore. But this, this was how sex was supposed to be. Passionate, consuming, life altering...fucking mind blowing. She cried out in pleasure when Lexa’s mouth tugged on an erect nipple. She grabbed at Lexa’s head, holding it close to her chest as Lexa gave equal attention to both her breasts, sucking on them and mouthing them. Clarke’s voice quivered with need, “Oh god...that feels so good...so good.” Her hips had a mind of their own, grinding against Lexa, begging for friction to ease the throbbing between her legs.

Lexa’s mouth was suddenly covering hers, and the kiss was so deep it made her toes curl. A hand traced down her stomach and teased at the top of her legs, really setting her hips in motion. The ache was becoming unbearable now, and she grabbed Lexa’s hand and pushed it lower. “I’m gonna scream if you don’t touch me,” she rasped.

Lexa smiled into her kiss, “Well, we can’t have that,” and her fingers dove down between Clarke’s legs, gliding through the wetness, rubbing over her clit and teasing around her opening.

And Clarke screamed anyway. She couldn’t even kiss Lexa back now, her mouth hanging half open as she tried to breathe.

Lexa’s mouth left hers and she kissed her way down Clarke’s body, nipping at the soft skin under her breast, biting at the flesh around her hip bone. She positioned herself between Clarke’s legs, running a thumb through her slick folds, nibbling on her inner thighs. Clarke held her breath, desperate to feel Lexa’s tongue. And when it happened she moaned, a primal sound emitting from deep in her chest and up through her throat. She wasn’t usually vocal, but the sensations shooting through her body called for it. And Clarke kept moaning, not caring how loud she got as Lexa’s tongue delved inside, moving in and out, then stroking back to her clit. She was ready to concede right now, ready to crown Lexa champion in the bedroom.

Clarke reached down, grabbing Lexa’s head and pulling it closer, hips undulating as her belly coiled into a tight little ball. When Lexa sucked on her stiffened clit, Clarke shouted out her pleasure. Lexa was gonna win this competition, and she didn’t give a flying fuck. She was about to come, “Oh my fucking god, yes.” She was right there, but Lexa pulled her mouth away, causing Clarke to whimper in frustration. Clarke looked down wondering what was happening and was met with a sexy grin, and when she felt two fingers plunge inside, her lips parted, and her head fell back onto the bed. Those fingers. Those long, elegant, beautiful fingers, stroking inside her, at just the right angle, and now Clarke was coming, and Lexa’s tongue and mouth were back where they belonged, sucking and licking and Clarke shattered into a million pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ya. Okay then. Hopefully that was decent. I will say that there will be some more in the next chapter. And I know I promised purple chicken cook-off pics, but I knew you'd just skip over everything to get to the good stuff. You're incorrigible.  
> So next chapter, I will have the purple chicken pics.  
> I met a new Aussie friend, Three Bands, welcome two ee's. (of course she has a nickname already.) Dude, next chapter I will put your sweet boy Jake up.  
> Shout out to LisaM, chief editor. It was her idea to have Clarke lick her fingers. It was my idea to make it sorta funny with the competition and all. Because I can't help myself. Sparrow had some suggestions also, thank you.  
> Hm, what else? Nothing much happening here, we're re-doing our kitchen, so we've been living without a stove and sink for almost two weeks now. The wife has black lung from all the dust. We have little cat paw trails all over the house. Hopefully this weekend the dusty part will be finished and we can clean!  
> Our contractor has a local radio show that he hosts every week. He asked me to come on and talk about the job. I told him he might want the little woman to do it instead. I said, "I will F bomb all over you, and all you were hear is 'beep that beep, I mean, who the beep wants that beeping beep.'"  
> I'll be going to Key West in a couple weeks for a short birding trip. Hopefully some fun stuff will befall me, since this note is poop.  
> Alright, on to the next chapter! Now don't get too comfy. The drama is coming. It's like Winter. Although if you live in NE US, the fucking winter never left, it is still here. With a threat of snow this weekend. It's fucking April!!!!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Been a while, I apologize. But, as promised, lots of pics for you this chapter. I'm sure you'll have more patience to look at them, now that our clexa did the nasty. Big shout out to my partner in crime, LisaM for all her help.  
> We have some fun travel chapter pics. Atomic Brunette was quite busy flying all over the world the last two months. Super Zuze visited London, and Great Wanheda was in Berlin.  
> Couple of poochie photos, new Australian bud, threebands, sent a pic of her boy Jake. The pic is sideways. For obvious reasons. I mean why do you think they call it “down under”? Cause, according to my globe, it's literally down under, causing all occupants to be slanted.  
> MeNemNesa shared her family’s new pooch, Pippin!! OMG. I’m in love, and lastly, our chapterly Dufus pic  
> Now for the good stuff. As promised, I have pics from the Purple Chicken Cook Off! We had three contestants, most of whom failed spectacularly. All three almost vomited while making it. We have, The Great Wanheda, the Roo, AKA BFCameron, and Bionic Peaches. I will just comment below the pictures, because I’m afraid I’ll run out of room.

Atomic Brunette, such an overachiever. First one is in Dubai, then on her flight to Moscow. We've decided that the stewardesses are hot in red.

Great Wanheda in Berlin.                                   Super Zuz in London.

 

Jake, the slanty poochie                                   Pippin!                                                        Dufus, queen of the stump, with her court.

 

 

PURPLE CHICKEN COOKING CONTEST

 

First contestant, Bfcameron

 So, Roo, AKA Bfcameron, our Aussie contestant, quickly whipped this up, threw it in the oven and viola! Served it up to friends. She said it was just eh. Too much marinade. Then I think she said, "I'm done, gonna go wrestle a croc now." Probably tasted like shoe leather, but hey, she's Aussie, she's used to eating reptiles, bugs, vegemite and such I'm sure. And what the fucktards is vegemite anyway?  Veg sounds like a vegetable. Or Vag if my ears are clogged.  Mite sounds like ear mite. So, like a vagina ear mite?? WTD? What the dorp? I really don't know if that's gonna be tasty or not.

 

Up next, the Great Wanheda, AKA GW

The Great Wanheda, with ties to the restaurant business. First attempt, first pic. Started out looking ok, right? Second pic, fully cooked, or should I say fully under-cooked, cause what the fuck is that shit? I just threw up in my mouth. According to GW, "Dry as fuck," and into the trash it went.

 GW, second try. In the pan, looking fine so far. Then on the plate. Uh...those purple chips look good.

 

This brings us to our last contestant, who was actually our first contestant. Bionic Peaches AKA Julia Childs, from the UK. This was like a comedy show. I screen shot her commentary because I could not do it justice otherwise.

Her first attempt, god bless her, she tried to make an entire purple chicken.

 

 

Here we have the blow by blow of the event. The Bridget Jones comment cracked me up

 

God help me, I got excited. Alas, my excitement did not last long, when faced with this:

 

What the actual fuck is that? And I cannot fathom how it could taste "lovely." But, it wasn't purple. And she knew it. So she tried again, and again, and again. You can't keep a good Brit down! I always say. She was given an anonymous tip from another competitor, use breasts, not whole chickens.

 

Which leads us to these two attempts.  I read the second text and at first I thought she was being sassy and over-confident. Then I realized she was shooting for third out of three. #gogetter.

Both attempts failed! No surprise there.

 

And finally, on her fourth try, against all odds, she did it. She made a purple chicken. I give you, her gay purple chicken.

Hahahahahaha. OMG. ROFL when I saw this. I asked if it was a purple sweater on the chicken. She said, "It's a blanket mate, Chicken-in-a-blanket."  She had me at mate. Fucking gold star I think. I also heard she went vegan after this. But that could just be hearsay. And then she throws a pinky swear in there, be still my heart. Oh, raise your hand and come on down if you know who Farrah Fawcett-Majors is!!  My bro had that lovely pic on his wall as a teen. You know the one, in the red bathing suit. I fear I stared at it more than he. 

 All right enough, here's the chapter. Hope you got your laughs in above, cause ain't nothing funny down below.

 

 

 

**Chapter 22  
**

 

 

Clarke sunk down low in the clawfoot tub that was in the guest bath, bubbles almost overflowing onto the floor. There was a knock at the bathroom door. “Come in,” Clarke called out in a singsong voice.

The door opened, and Lexa leaned against the door jam, “Your dream come true, good doctor.”

Clarke giggled, and bit her lip. Lexa was barefoot and braless, hair hanging down around her shoulders, wearing jeans and a white see-through tank top. Just like Clarke’s dream from a couple of months ago. “God, you’re so sexy,” she gushed. She hoped re-living this dream would go better than the last one. They had crept naked outside in the humid night air, making their way over to Lexa’s motorcycle. After Clarke sat on the bike and things got sexy, they lost track of all solid surfaces and they both tumbled off and into the grass, laughing. Lexa decided that some dreams were better left alone as they slunk back into the house, picking leaves and grass out of their hair.

And now Lexa stood in the doorway to the bathroom, pursing her lips in a most sexy manner.

“Why don’t you come over here,” Clarke said invitingly, licking her lips in anticipation.

Lexa cocked an eyebrow. “Don’t mind if I do.” She sauntered slowly over to the edge of the tub.

Clarke looked up hungrily, reaching out to thread a finger through a belt loop and giving a not-so-gentle tug. She was about to pull the zipper down on Lexa’s jeans, when Lexa surprised her by lifting her leg, “Wait, what are you doing!” Clarke exclaimed as Lexa splashed into the tub, fully clothed. A wave of water and bubbles cascaded onto the tile floor. Clarke’s laughter filled the room. “No, no, no, that’s not the dream!”

“What? I thought you said I got into the tub with you?” Lexa reached across the tub and pulled Clarke over towards her.

Clarke could barely contain her giggles at the absurdity of Lexa’s actions. “I’m supposed to undress you!” Clarke said. “That’s what happened in my dream.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Lexa was all smiles as she brought Clarke onto her lap and nibbled on her throat. Her mouth sucked and nipped up and down Clarke’s neck. Her hands kneaded Clarke’s ass.

Clarke sighed as she melted into Lexa. Her eyes closed in ecstasy as delicious ripples of pleasure vibrated throughout her body. She felt a gush of her own arousal seep into the tub. “I thought I did.”

“No, I don’t think you did, Sundance. Nice hat by the way.”

Clarke reached up and touched the duck-covered shower cap. “What? This old thing? You like it?”

“It’s super hot, and it’s making me super horny.”

“Nothing says sex like a duck-covered shower cap, I always say.”

“Hm, is that another one of your famous sayings?” Lexa asked as she sucked on Clarke’s pulse point at the base of her neck.

“Oh, shit, that feels good,” Clarke whispered, she bent her head to the side to allow Lexa more access.

Lexa reached up, cupping Clarke’s face, and began kissing her. All dreams and hats were forgotten. Their kisses were deep and wet, tongues probing and pressing. Their thirst for each other seemed unquenchable, as their bodies writhed together in messy harmony.

“It’s a shame you have so many clothes on, Butch,” Clarke said breathlessly, as she began to grind into Lexa’s lap, trying to create enough friction to get herself off.

Lexa groaned in exasperation. “I guess I didn’t think this through.” The sight of Clarke grinding her hips, head thrown back in determination, made Lexa’s already wet jeans even wetter. Only Clarke could look this fucking hot in a duck-covered shower cap. She grabbed one of Clarke’s hands and tried to push it inside her pants, but the wet fabric was too constrictive. “Fuck.”

Frustration was not having Clarke touch her. She put one hand on Clarke’s hip to help her move, and the other slipped between them, finding Clarke’s slicked-up opening. She slipped a couple of fingers inside and started thrusting. She couldn’t get very deep, and the angle was painful for her wrist, but she persevered.

Clarke cried out and began panting, her hips jerking around as she got closer to an orgasm. “I love those fingers of yours,” Clarke moaned. “First thing I noticed about you.”

“Really?” Lexa rubbed her forehead on Clarke’s chest, to wipe away the perspiration. The heat from the tub and the thrusting of her fingers was making her sweat. And it certainly didn’t help to be fully clothed. “Seems an odd thing to notice.”

“Mmhmm,” Clarke sighed, finding just the right spot on Lexa’s jeans. “Not really, I have a thing for hands. Oh god...”

“Interesting.” Lexa ignored the cramp in her wrist as she continued to pleasure Clarke. She tried to capture Clarke’s breast in her mouth, but they were bobbing about, in tune with Clarke’s motion. Clarke sensed where Lexa’s mind went, so she cupped her breasts and offered them to Lexa, who hungrily sucked a stiff nipple into her mouth. Here was another dream come to life, and Lexa was on cloud nine. Or ten. Probably twelve. If there was a cloud twelve, she was on it now, mouth alternating between Clarke’s breasts, listening to the loud moans falling from Clarke’s lips as she got closer and closer to release.

Lexa kept thrusting and sucking, getting worked up herself. She adjusted her hips to try and catch some friction from Clarke’s undulating hips. The sight and sounds of Clarke were making her dizzy with lust, and the throbbing between her legs was driving her mad. When she felt Clarke’s walls clench around her fingers, she almost lost it herself. She licked at the salty perspiration that streaked between Clarke’s breasts, and then nibbled along her collarbone. Wrapping a free arm around Clarke’s waist, Lexa held her tightly through her climax while long fingers continued to pump into Clarke.

Clarke’s hands reached for Lexa’s shoulders to steady herself as her body shuddered through the orgasm, her hips moving faster and faster. “Oh, my fucking god, that’s so good. Oh my _god._..” Her breath hitched as she let out one last gasp, collapsing on Lexa, spent, wrapping her arms around her head to hold her close. Tears stung her eyes from the sheer bliss of the moment, her heart beating erratically. She inhaled deeply as her body came down off its high. “So good, so good…” she kept whispering.

Lexa slid her hand out from between them and pulled Clarke closer. Sometimes it felt like she couldn’t get close enough. She held her for a few minutes before dipping her hands into the tub and rinsing the sweat from Clarke’s back.

“Oh my god, that was good.” Clarke pulled back to lean down to Lexa, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. “So, fucking good.”

Lexa grinned up at her. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Meanwhile, I’m about to burst.”

Clarke ran her tongue along Lexa’s bottom lip, giving it a nip. “That’ll teach you to wear clothes in the bathtub.”

Lexa sighed, “I thought it would be cute.”

“Oh, it was cute.” Clarke kissed her. “But created unnecessary barriers.”

“Clarke...” Lexa whined, gazing into blue eyes. Lexa needed to be put out of her sexual misery.

“What, baby? Someone a little frustrated right now?” Clarke nipped at Lexa’s ear, then ran her tongue behind it.

“I want you,” Lexa whispered into her ear. “Please,” she implored. She sucked on Clarke’s earlobe.

Lexa’s whisper made Clarke wet again. Her readiness was a source of constant amazement. Lexa was definitely good at this, she was the champ. She was Clarke’s champion, and this was one contest she was happy to lose. No previous lover could hold a candle to Lexa's prowess in bed. The way she could gaze at Clarke and instantly arouse her, with her come-hither look that melted Clarke’s insides, with a touch that made her hot with want. She had no idea she could be this sexual, this turned on. Constantly. She placed her mouth next to Lexa’s ear, “Take your pants off.” She moved out of Lexa’s lap to give her room to maneuver.

Lexa stood up, whipped off her tank and unbuttoned her jeans. She tugged them down her legs, which was no easy task. Soaking wet jeans were not very flexible. She braced herself on the sides of the tub as she pulled one leg free, then the other. She dumped them onto the floor and stood staring down at Clarke.

Clarke rose to her knees, maintaining eye contact with Lexa, her mouth hovering at the top of Lexa’s legs. Her fingers reached out to spread Lexa’s folds and she began stroking. Lexa’s body quivered and quaked, and she spread her legs as far as possible without losing her balance in the tub. Clarke’s fingers continued their exploration, teasing around Lexa’s opening before dipping inside. Lexa’s hips twitched, and she instinctively reached out, removed the shower cap, and buried her hands in blond curls. She brought Clarke’s mouth closer. She groaned when Clarke’s tongue began its assault on her clit, massaging and stroking it, sucking on it. Lexa’s hips moved in time with Clarke’s plunging fingers.

Lexa could barely keep herself upright while Clarke feasted on her. When she was getting close to release, her hips pulsed faster, and her breath quickened. When the orgasm rocketed through her, she called out Clarke’s name. Her insides throbbed, and her legs trembled under the onslaught. When the last spasm ricocheted through her body, her legs gave out and she slid back down into the tub—her mouth slack and eyes half closed as Clarke gathered her into her arms. She rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder, as tiny sparks of pleasure continued to ripple along her nerve endings. With a deep, satisfied sigh she contemplated her life up until this point. Was she even living before Clarke? She didn’t think so. Before Clarke, everything was in black and white, and now her world was in Technicolor. All blues and greens, reds and golds. She was still hesitant to shout out her feelings. There would be plenty of time for that. She softly kissed Clarke’s shoulder as her hands wandered over her back. Their sweat mingled as they held onto each other. Neither wanting to be the one to pull away.

After a few minutes, Clarke turned around, so she was lying in front of Lexa, nestled between her legs. She pulled Lexa’s arms tightly around her, purring with contentment. The water in the tub was low, since most of it had splashed over the edges. “I wish I didn’t have to work tomorrow.”

Lexa was busy nosing around Clarke’s hair, breathing in the fresh scent of her shampoo. “You’re staying the night, right?”

“If you want me to.”

“Yes, please.” The thought of waking up next to Clarke made her positively giddy. “Where’s Oliver?”

“He’s with Finn.”

Clarke hadn’t spoken in depth about her situation with Finn. Lexa figured when she was ready, Clarke would talk about it. It wasn't Lexa’s place to press her on it. “What time do you have to leave tomorrow?”

“My shift starts at noon. I’m on call for emergencies.”

Lexa’s arms tightened around her. The thought of Clarke leaving caused an ache near her heart. “Call in sick.” She kissed Clarke’s ear. “Can’t doctors call in sick?”

Clarke giggle, “God, I wish. But I can’t. Duty calls and all that shit.”

“Come back after your shift.”

“I don’t get off until eleven.”

“Crap, that’s late.”

Lexa felt the familiar throb between her legs as she held Clarke. Her hands began massaging Clarke’s breasts. She wanted to make love to Clarke as many times as possible before she left. She pulled and pinched her nipples, eliciting groans from Clarke’s lips. Her hand reached lower and found Clarke’s white, hot center. Clarke squirmed, guttural sounds clawing at her throat. She turned so their lips could come together, tongues stroking and playing. More water splashed on the floor as they eagerly reached for each other, both figuring the night was still young, that they still had plenty of time together. Their journey just beginning.

 

Clarke’s eyes slowly opened, blinking from the moonlight leaking in from the edges of the curtains. It took a moment for the clock to come into focus. It was almost four a.m. Her last orgasm seemed like minutes ago, but in reality, it had been three hours. Three long hours. She was getting spoiled. She had half a mind to wake Lexa up and demand service. But who was she kidding, she had half a mind to wake Lexa up and service her. Both kittens were sleeping above their heads, stretched out along the pillows. Thumper picked his head up to see what was what, but then immediately put his head back down, too drowsy to care.

Clarke closed her eyes, trying to fall back asleep because she knew she’d have to leave soon. She’d have to find the strength to disentangle herself from the beautiful woman wrapped in her arms right now. She placed a soft kiss on Lexa’s shoulder, smiling to herself as she thought of their night together. The word spectacular didn’t even do it justice. Epic, otherworldly, fantabulous. If that was even a word. She did know one thing—it was—without a doubt, the best sex of her life. The physical nature of her relationship with Finn was not even close. Not even in the same stratosphere. Her heart and mind were so full of love, she almost cried. Okay, a small tear did escape, and she brushed it away.

Of course, there was the small dollop of dread that existed somewhere in the pit of her stomach when she thought about telling her parents, telling them about Lexa. She hadn’t gotten that far yet. Lunch with her mom the other week was a tense affair, as her mom badgered and bullied her to reconsider her “choices.” Saying it wasn’t too late to regain her sanity. Telling her all about how she also had cold feet before her marriage, that it was perfectly normal.

She couldn’t wait to lay this one on them. “Hey mom and dad, remember that thing with Niylah all those years ago? Well, it wasn’t a phase that I grew out of. And, oh by the way, meet Lexa, quite possibly, the love of my life.” Yeah, that’ll be fun, Clarke thought. It gave her a headache just thinking about it. And a tummy ache. She reached down and rubbed her belly, suddenly feeling queasy.

Clarke crept out of bed, both dogs padding silently behind her, and went into the hall bath. She peed and flushed, and the queasiness turned into full blown nausea. She staggered to the ground, gripping the sides of the toilet, and retched into the bowl.

When her stomach calmed down, she got up and splashed water on her face. She fished around under the sink and found a new toothbrush, still in the wrapper. She hunted around and found a travel-size toothpaste and brushed her teeth.

By four thirty, she was snuggled back against Lexa, wondering if too much sex could make you sick. Maybe she missed that in her Gastroenterology classes. She smiled at herself, knowing that wasn’t the real reason. Probably all the stress from the last month, all the texts from her parents saying how she was ruining her life. Yeah, that would make anyone sick. Her eyes drooped, and her breath evened out as she fell back asleep.

 

When Clarke woke up again, it was eight a.m. She was thirsty, so she decided to get up and get a glass of water. She pulled on one of Lexa’s University of Oregon T-shirts and made her way to the kitchen, four furry bodyguards hot on her heels. She stopped short when she got there, so short in fact that Yogi banged into Milo, who banged into the back of Clarke’s legs, making her stumble forward. Tigger got scared and Halloween kitty’d across the room hissing. Thumper got tangled in her legs and down she went, right on her backside, T-shirt hiked up past her hips, lady bits on full display. She grabbed at the hem and yanked it down, trying in vain to maintain some semblance of dignity in front of an unexpected audience. An audience of two.

Anya and Luna were sitting at the kitchen table. Anya was eating a bowl of cereal and Luna was reading the newspaper. Clarke quickly got to her feet, a hot flush creeping across her cheeks as she looked at the two women. “Uh, hi?”

The spoon was frozen somewhere in the middle between Anya’s mouth and the bowl. A tiny bit of milk dribbled out. Anya swiped quickly at the offending drop of liquid with the back of her hand. “Clarke?”

Luna had folded the corner of her newspaper down and was peeking around it, her expression giving away nothing. Her stoicism came in handy when interviewing a perp.

Both dogs ran past Clarke to greet their Aunt Anya, who gave each a quick pat on the head. Both kittens were twirling around Clarke’s legs, thinking it was dinner time.

Clarke self-consciously gave another tug to the bottom of the shirt, trying desperately to drag it further down her body, realizing that it wasn’t covering as much as she hoped, leaving little to the imagination. “Yeah, hi.”

“Holy shit. You go Lexa,” Anya said softly. They both gave Clarke a quick once over, taking in her state of undress.

Clarke was at a loss for words. “Uh...I...just…um…slept over. It was late. So, ah, I slept over.” She knew how asinine that sounded. Why she should feel like a teenager caught in the back of a car making out was beyond her. Clarke started to back up, embarrassed by the whole situation, she pointed behind her, “I’ll just...um...head back.” She turned around and hustled back to the bedroom, deciding she wasn't that thirsty after all.

“Bye Clarke,” Anya said as she craned her neck, getting a better look at Clarke’s naked backside as it left the room. She turned to Luna. “Lexa was right, she does have a nice ass.”

Luna nodded as she watched the hint of a heinie leave the room. She went back to reading the sports section of the paper. “I _thought_ I smelled sex.”

When Clarke got to the bedroom door she opened it quietly, not wanting to wake Lexa. She slipped into the room with the pet parade in tow. Pulling the shirt off, she cautiously crawled back into bed. Lexa was on her stomach, lying diagonally across the bed, the sheet laying low across her hips, leaving her upper torso bare. Last night she was surprised to find out that Lexa had a tattoo on her back, which she found incredibly sexy. She ran her hands over the smooth planes of her shoulders. She felt Lexa stir, slowly opening her eyes as she turned to look back at Clarke.

“You’re actually here,” she said with a small sleepy smile. “I thought it was all just another dream.”

Clarke bent down and began kissing Lexa’s back. “Nope, not a dream,” she said between kisses.

Lexa sighed. “That feels so good.”

Clarke rolled onto her side, resting her head in her hand while leaning on her elbow, and traced a finger around the tattoo. “You never told me you had a tattoo.”

“You never asked.”

“Does it have some sort of significance?”

Lexa chuckled. “Not really. I was seeing this girl in college and she fancied herself an astronomer of sorts. We got drunk one night and got tattoos.”

“So, the eight circles represent...what?”

“Well, we’re at the bar, and after her fifth shot of tequila, she decided to draw the solar system on a napkin, begrudgingly drawing eight planets instead of nine. She was seriously bummed Pluto got bounced. Anyway, she couldn’t draw her way out of a paper bag. So, we take the napkin to the tattoo place, she hands the guy the picture, and this is what we got. I like to think of it as…impressionistic.”

“I think Pluto got the shaft, too.” Clarke got up and went into Lexa’s bathroom. She came back with a tube of lipstick in her hand.

“What are you doing?” Lexa asked, trying to look over her shoulder.

“I’m drawing Pluto.” She rolled the red lipstick up and began to draw a circle underneath the last one on Lexa’s back. Tigger came up on the bed and pawed at Clarke’s hand, making the circle more of a parallelogram. “Oops. And Tigger’s helping me. There. Nine circles. Well, eight circles and a blimp.”

Lexa craned her neck, “I can’t see it.”

“Hold on.” Clarke went back into the bathroom and brought out a hand mirror, holding it so Lexa could see.

Lexa took one look, her brows raised in question. “I thought you said you could draw?”

“Well, that was Tigger, really. Here, I’ll show you how good an artist I am.” Clarke put the mirror down and started drawing on Lexa’s back again. “I’ll draw a portrait of the both of us.”

“You know that’s my favorite lipstick.”

“I’ll get you another one. There.”

“You’re done already? There can’t be much detail in that picture.”

“It’s great, look.” Clarke held the mirror up again to reveal two stick figures holding hands.

“That is quite possibly the worst portrait I’ve ever seen.”

“Hey! I won awards with this talent.”

“When you were two?”

“Very funny.” Clarke put the mirror on the nightstand and tossed the lipstick over her shoulder. Tigger chased after it and batted it under the bed, the noise alerting his brother, and they began playing hockey across the room. “You’re very funny.” Clarke began kissing Lexa’s back again.

“What can I say? I’m funny, _and_ I have cute ears.”

“Someday I’ll draw a proper portrait of you.” Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s back. “In charcoal. I used to love sketching in charcoal.”

“Hopefully a nude portrait.”

“Absolutely.” Clarke lightly bit the back of her neck. “Luna and Anya are here, by the way. I may have mooned them.”

“I’m sure they enjoyed it. You do have a nice ass, Clarke.”

“Oh, they saw more than that, trust me. It was like an episode of “Twats That.”

Lexa burst out laughing. “Or ‘Twats my line?’” she said between giggles.

“Twat’s up, Doc?” Clarke said in her best Bugs Bunny voice.

“Twat the hell!” Lexa was rolling now.

Clarke was laughing along with her, “Something like that. Suffice it to say, I was sufficiently humiliated. Why are they here so early on a Sunday morning?”

“Anya’s turn to open the store.”

“Yeah, well, I told them we just had a sleepover.”

Lexa slowly shook her head. “That will not pass muster with Luna. She’s a super detective, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“How could I forget?”

“Why do I fear the jig is up and the whole crew knows we had sex,” Lexa mused.

“Ugh, you’re right. I can hear the popcorn popping from here. Let’s check our phones.” Clarke reached onto the nightstand and turned her phone on. Lexa got up and got hers from the bureau and slid back into bed. They both sat up, leaning against the headboard.

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Uh-huh. And so, it begins. Here’s a popcorn eating dog gif from Raven and O. Raven is asking what I'm doing right now.”

Lexa looked at Clarke’s phone, then back down at hers. “Hm. You know that jig I spoke of earlier? It seems Aden and Maya are doing one. They sent me a video. They are literally dancing a jig. I think it’s the Irish Jig, here, what do you think?”

Clarke glanced down at Lexa’s phone. “God, that is the worst Irish Jig I’ve ever seen. Here, let’s take a selfie and send it to all of them.” Clarke held the phone out in front of them. “Cover up those beautiful breasts of yours, please, can’t send an X-rated pic.”  

“You’ve got the rack, sister.” Lexa pulled the covers up over both of their chests, leaned her cheek against Clarke’s and raised her middle finger.

Clarke noticed the flipping of the bird and decided the situation called for it, and flipped her bird, snapping the shot. “Is this okay to send to Aden?”

“He’s a twelve-year-old boy, he flips the bird, trust me.”

Clarke sent the group text off to everyone.

Lexa put her phone down. She wiggled her eyebrows. “Now where were we, good doctor...”

“Luna and Anya are here! We can’t.”

Lexa moved Clarke onto her back. “Ssshh.” Her mouth began a slow exploration of Clarke’s breasts, tongue swirling around an already erect nipple.

“You think they’ll know?” Clarke rasped.

“Of course, they’ll know. It’s Luna.” Her hand made its way down between Clarke’s legs.

“Oh, fuck, Lexa,” Clarke said breathlessly.

Lexa’s lips hesitated, “You want me to stop?”

Clarke put her arm over her eyes, blocking out everything to concentrate on the sensations coursing through her body, wondering if the hunger for this woman would ever be satisfied. “Never,” she moaned.

 

It was an hour later, and Lexa looked at the clock. “Oh shit, I’m never in bed this long, what did you do to me woman?” Lexa asked as she grabbed Clarke and spun her flat on her back. “You’re a vixen.”

Clarke giggled as Lexa tried to look mad at her, unsuccessfully of course. How could Clarke take her seriously, with her lips swollen from kisses, her hair sticking up in every direction from their wild night of sex. “Yep, that’s me. Your worst nightmare, a vixen and a horrible dog owner.”

Lexa kissed the tip of her nose. “You’re not a horrible dog owner. Not anymore. You’ll tame Oliver in no time,” Lexa said as she captured Clarke’s lips. “Like you tamed me,” she said quietly into the kiss, so quiet that Clarke barely heard her.

Clarke was about to ask about the taming, but they were interrupted by barking dogs and car doors slamming.

Lexa picked her head up, “Oh, I bet that’s one of our customers. They’re boarding two dogs today. Ugh. I guess I better get up.” She looked down at Clarke, and it took every ounce of self-control to not start kissing her again. “God, you’re beautiful,” she said as she tucked an errant curl behind Clarke’s ear.

Clarke reached up a hand and caressed Lexa’s cheek. “Funny, I was thinking the same thing.”

“When will I see you again,” Lexa asked, hoping she didn’t sound too desperate.

“I have nightmare shifts this week. But I’ll make it happen, I promise.”

Lexa kissed her softly, then buried her face in Clarke’s neck. She wished she wasn’t this crazy about Clarke. But she was so far gone, it was scary.

 

Lexa finally made an appearance about an hour later, walking over to the store to check on Anya. “Yo.”

“Yo yourself. You look tired. Did we have trouble sleeping last night?”

Lexa wore a wry grin, “You could say that.”

“So, when did all this happen?”

“She showed up yesterday.” Lexa jammed her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

“Wow. I’m impressed. You look pretty damn happy, so it must have been good.”

Lexa blew out a breath, “Good? Yeah, you could say that. I mean, I might say fantastic, but, good works.”

“Well, all right, girl, congratulations,” Anya slapped Lexa on the back.

Lexa sighed happily and leaned against the wall, banging her head softly as she thought about the past eighteen hours. “I think she’s the one,” she said quietly.

“The _one_?” Anya asked.

Lexa nodded her head, “I think she may just be it for me. Like, the one you search your entire life for, you know?”

“Didn’t you say that about Susan?” Anya asked, jokingly.

Susan was the woman Lexa was dating prior to the casual arrangement with Costia. Sue had just come out of an eight-year relationship, and Lexa was smitten with her, but ended up just being a stopgap. She left Lexa for someone else three days after they celebrated their one-year anniversary.

“This is different, it’s nothing like that,” Lexa said confidently. “And I never said that about Susan.”

“You moped for a while after she dumped you.”

“Oh, c’mon. I didn’t mope that long.”

“I know, I’m just kidding. I hope it works out for you guys, Clarke is great.”

Lexa smiled, “Yeah.” She paused, thinking about all her interactions with Clarke. “There’s just something between us, I don’t know how to describe it. It feels like fate. Like we were meant for each other.”

“Where is she now?” Anya asked.

“Taking a shower. She’s gotta get to the hospital for her shift.”

“Okay. I’ve got things covered here if you wanna go say a proper goodbye.”

Lexa started walking away when Anya called after her, “Do I get to be your best man?”

Lexa smiled, “If we ever get married, then yes. How’s that?”

“Okay then. Oh, by the way, you were right. She does have a nice ass.”

Lexa turned and grinned before wandering back into the house just as Clarke was coming out of the bedroom, all showered and dressed. Her hair was messily tied up on top of her head. A pair of Lexa’s sweat pants were slung low on her hips and the same T-shirt from earlier completed the ensemble. The look was dazzling. She was beautiful, and Lexa felt her heart constrict, thinking how incredible it would be to wake up next to this woman every day. Someday, maybe not right now, but hopefully soon. “You look gorgeous.”

Clarke took a quick peek down at herself. “What? In this?”

Lexa nodded.

“I hope you don’t mind, I borrowed some of your stuff.” Clarke came over to her and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist, placing a light kiss on her lips, her tongue snaking out to touch Lexa’s bottom lip.

“No, I don’t mind,” Lexa said into the kiss. “Need me to give you a ride?”

“On what? That killing machine of yours?”

“Yeah, c’mon it’ll be fun.”

“No, I have my car. Besides, with the way I make you drive, it’ll take days to get there.”

“Good point.”

“And we’re gonna have to talk about that thing in the future.”

Lexa’s heart sped up at the mention of a future with Clarke. Obviously, they were on the same page here.

“I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Clarke placed one last kiss on Lexa’s lips and went out the door, but not before kissing each pet goodbye also.

Lexa followed, waving as Clarke pulled out of the driveway. She was ecstatic, on top of the world. She felt invincible. Being in love and having the best sex of your life could do that to a person.

She turned and went back into her cottage, looking for a cup of coffee to give her a jolt of energy. When she passed by the kitchen table, she saw an envelope sitting there with her name scrawled across the front in red lipstick. Her eyebrows pinched together, perplexed. This had to be from Clarke. Opening it up, she slid out a sheet of notebook paper with jagged edges. A wide grin split her face as she looked at what was on the paper. It was a pencil sketch, of Lexa leaning against her motorcycle. The detail was fantastic, the likeness unreal. “Holy shit, this is good,” Lexa murmured in wonder. Underneath the picture was Clarke’s handwriting, “I drew this after our first ride. Guess you were on my mind. Not a bad pic, right? Better than a stick figure.” A smiley face ended the sentence.

Lexa pulled out a chair and sat down, just staring at the drawing. Clarke was right, she was a damn good artist. She had signed the picture with a flourish, _“By Clarke Griffin.”_ Lexa ran a thumb over the cursive script. Looking at “Clarke Griffin” underneath a picture was giving her pause. Like she’s seen it before. But that was impossible. She’d just met her this year. She puzzled over it for a bit, thinking it was important somehow. She finally got frustrated and gave up. Chalk it up to déjà vu. Again.

 

While Clarke was driving to the hospital her phone rang. She took a quick peek down at the caller I.D. The picture was a big bag of popcorn. Her contact photo for Raven. Because nothing said Raven like a ginormous bag of popcorn. Clarke chuckled at her own joke—making a mental note to tell Lexa later—then shook her head, still in disbelief over how quickly the news had traveled. “Yes?”

“Why didn’t you answer my text?” Raven asked.

“Because I was busy.”

“So how was it? Nice picture by the way.”

“I’m curious, how did you find out?” Clarke inquired.

“Hi Clarke!” Octavia called from the background.

“What can I say, word gets around. So, how was it?” Raven asked again, a bit more impatiently.

Clarke huffed. She hated unsolved mysteries. “Was it Luna?”

“Does it matter, Clarke? You need to stop being so sensitive, we’re all curious about what’s happening in your life. We’re like your own personal peeping toms. That should make you feel important. Now, how was it?”

Clarke was not one to kiss and tell. “It was great and that’s all I’m gonna say.”

“C’mon Clarke. You owe me.”

“I owe you?”

“Yeah, you owe me.”

“Why do I owe you?”

“Cause I set you up with her.”

“ _You_ set me up with her?”

“I did.”

“I don’t remember it that way.”

“Clearly, you have short term memory loss. Probably from all the sex.”

Clarke smiled, there certainly was a lot of sex. “Yeah, well, what can I say? She rocked my world. Now, I’m almost at the hospital, I’ll catch you later.”

“Well, aren’t you taciturn today, that’s one for you babe!” she called over to Octavia. “WOTD!”

“Jesus Christ,” Clarke muttered under her breath. Sometimes her besties could be trying. “I gotta go.”

“It only counts if I say it,” O whined in the background.

“Come here, sweetie...Clarke hold on, she may be PMS’ing, so just hold the fuck on. Babe, come here and tell Clarke she’s being taciturn. Come on.”

Clarke rolled her eyes as she waited at a red light. She heard Raven hand the phone to Octavia.

“Clarke?”

“I’m here, O.”

“Are you being taciturn?”

“Evidently, I am.”

“Yeah, that’s one! And I’m not PMS’ing. I’m just tired.”

Clarke heard Raven say, “I know, I just said that to scare Clarke. High five, babe.” Raven took the phone back, “So Clarke, when’s the wedding? Sorry, let me clarify that. When’s the gay wedding?”

“You’re ridiculous. Nobody’s getting married. Yet. Okay, I gotta go, I’m pulling into the parking lot. And I’m late. Bye.” She hung up before Raven could go off on another wild tangent. Her phone buzzed again with a text as she turned the car off. She groaned, thinking it was Raven and O again. A huge grin lit up her face. It was from Lexa. Clarke had just added their bird-flipping selfie as Lexa’s contact photo.

 

                               _thanks for the pic. it’s fantastic. much better than my tattoo!_

Clarke typed back,

_maybe someday i’ll design a new tattoo for you._

 

Lexa’s response was instantaneous.

_i’ll hold you to that, sundance. and you’re not texting and driving i hope._

 

Clarke smiled, sensing Lexa’s concern.

_no, i’m sitting in the parking lot._

 

Lexa replied,

_ok, get to work, i know you’re late, because somebody couldn’t get out of bed this morning._

 

Clarke bit her lip as she typed back, remembering how it felt to wake up next to Lexa.

_can you blame me? you were hard to leave! bye butch! i’ll talk to you later._

 

Clarke rushed into the hospital with her backpack slung across one shoulder. When she made it to the surgeon’s lounge, she was pleasantly surprised to find Monty there, hanging out on the couch with his laptop. Clarke had been confiding in him for the last couple of weeks, sharing her interactions with her family and with Finn, knowing he was her 'no judgement zone.' He looked up when she came through the door.

“Hey Clarke!”

“Hey Mont!” She put her backpack on the table and shoved a Keurig cup into the machine.

“You on call today?” he asked.

“Yeah, are you just getting off?”

“Yep.”

“Anything exciting happen?” Clarke asked.

“I had two emergency appendectomies.”

“Lucky you.”

“Unlucky you, because—your mom was looking for you earlier.”

“Oh shit. Not today. I’m not in the mood for the lecture today. Not today!” She got out a clean mug from the cabinet.

“You must be having a great day, you’re kinda glowing.”

“I had a fantastic Saturday. And, an incredible Saturday night. And, a _pretty_ terrific morning.” Clarke smiled at him, the memories all still fresh in her head. She would be savoring them for the rest of the day. Hell, for the rest of the week. Well, until they made fresh memories. Her face flushed at the thought.

“It’s good to see you smiling again.”

“Thanks Mont.” While she waited for her coffee, she prowled around with restless energy. Seeing the Nerf basketball, she grabbed it, tossing it towards the net. And for once, for the very first time, Clarke Griffin hit nothing but net.

She turned to Monty and her jaw dropped. “Did you see that?”

Monty was floored, his face lit up with delight. “Nothing but net, Clarke!”

“What the fuck?” Clarke squealed. “What the actual fuck?”

“Today must be your lucky day, buddy.”

“Must be. Damn, things are looking up.” Her coffee was done, so she took some French Vanilla creamer and poured it into the mug. She went to inhale the aromatic smell of a good cup of joe, but as soon as she took a whiff, her insides twisted. “Oh, crap.”

A look of concern crossed Monty’s face, “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t feel so good. Crap. I think I’m gonna throw up.” Clarke ran to the restroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

When she came back out, her face was pale and clammy. She wandered over to the couch and sat down next to Monty. “Shit. That’s twice today.”

“Twice?”

“Yeah, I threw up this morning.” Clarke blew out a breath. Her eyes narrowed as the wheels started turning inside her brain. “I felt nauseous Friday, too, but I didn’t throw up.”

Monty put a hand on her shoulder, “Clarke, when was your last period?”

“What?” It was more a rhetorical question, because Clarke had already started counting days in her head. Her cycle was like clockwork. It never varied. Never. Twenty-six days. On the dot. Shit. She was a couple of weeks late. How the fuck did she not notice? Emotional distress. That’s how. Too many other things on her mind. “Fuck.” She looked at Monty with wide eyes. “Fuck, Monty.”

“Okay, well, you don’t know for sure yet. You’ve been under a huge amount of stress. That might cause you to skip a month. Let me run down to Obstetrics and get a test. I’ll be right back.” Monty rushed out of the room.

Meanwhile, Clarke was in full blown panic mode. She counted back to the last time she and Finn had sex, about four fucking weeks ago. She was on the pill, but she distinctly remembered them not using a condom that night. The one fucking time they didn’t. The chances were slim. So incredibly slim that a woman could get pregnant while taking the pill. Infinitesimal. But it could happen.

Clarke bit her lip and prayed. Prayed with all her heart. No, it can’t be. It can’t be! She made deals with every god and every devil. She cannot be pregnant. Not now. Not now, please. She took a couple of deep breaths and pressed her hands to her temples. It’s just stress, she told herself. Stress can wreak havoc on your body. That’s it. That’s all it was. Stress. Her phone buzzed with a text. Lexa sent a pic of all the animals moping around.

                                 _everyone misses you._

Her heart clenched. It felt like someone was reaching in and squeezing the living shit out of it. Another message came through, this time from her mom.

  _why don’t you and Finn come over for dinner this week and we can all talk._

Clarke angrily tossed the phone across the room.

 

It took Monty exactly ten minutes to come running back into the room, out of breath. The longest ten minutes of Clarke’s life. She went into the bathroom. While holding the stick beneath her, she urinated. After flushing and washing her hands, she took a seat on the closed lid of the toilet. With baited breath and shaking hands, she waited. When the result showed, tears welled up in her eyes…and the bottom of her world fell out.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I went down to the Florida Keys a few weeks ago. Left the wifey at home and met a bud of mine down there. I booked first class, cause it wasn’t that much more money. When I "priority boarded" gloat gloat, it was business first class, and the seats were like little cabins. There was one seat at the window, then aisle, then 2 seats, then aisle, then the one seat on the other side by the window. Just to give you the lay of the land. I was like a kid starting summer vacation, giddy as fuck. I had my own seat by the window. So, I looked around my compartment and pushed buttons, reclined my seat, which went all the way down I might add. Reclined back up with a stupid grin on my face. (I have traveled first class a couple of other times, but I never had this much room!) So, I nestled into my lil hotel room, as the coach passengers filed by. Our stewardess is passing out water in the other aisle. I waited patiently. I was thirsty and felt the need to hydrate. People kept boarding, Stewardess Janet kept serving the other aisle. I think there were 30 first class cabins. I looked hopefully at Janet as she went to refill her tray, my blue eyes searching her out across the aisle. Now we’re down to the last stragglers in coach. I’m still hopeful. Starting to get fidgety, seeing Janet now doesn’t have her tray. No worries, she wouldn’t forget about us. Now the door is closing and we’re told to buckle up. Janet is seated and buckled. And I am thirsty as fuck. And annoyed. And need to talk to someone. I text atomic brunette, cause she’s super responsive. “Dude, I didn’t get my water,” I texted. She said, “You’ll get it, be patient.” We’re taxiing from the gate now. “Dude, I’m not getting any water!!! They didn’t give me fucking water!!” She said, “Fuckers!” Which always cracks me up when she says that. I picture her, with her little accent, yelling “fuckers!” at the top of her lungs.  
> So, I’m pissy. I’ll admit. ‘Til they brought out the warm nuts. Then I was placated. My next adventure was trying to figure out the tray table. It was folded under itself. I can’t paint you a picture, you’ll just have to trust me. I yank on it. Nothing. I yank harder. Nothing. Now I’m yanking the fuck out of it. Why won’t this fucker open! I almost ripped that thing off. Then I could have held it up to Janet and said, “My thing broke.” I looked for a latch or a button or something. I can’t find a thing. I start yanking all over again. Meanwhile, everyone else has their tray out and ready for the first course of our airplane meal. So, I give up, I ask the stewardess, (Not Janet, cause she’s on my shit list) “How does this tray table come out.” She gives me the old “aren’t you pathetic” kinda look, and pushes this button on top of the tray thingy. Out it pops. Now, before you call me a moron, this button looked like a decal for god’s sake. It totally did.  
> So the lunch was decent. A warm cookie for dessert. Yum! Rest of the flight down was uneventful. Oh, I must have asked for ten glasses of water, just cause I felt like they owed me.  
> Coming home, same seat. This time I popped my tray table out with no effort. Nobody got water. Fucking Janet’s fault I’m sure. Some beef thing for dinner. The baked potato was retched. Literally, made me retch, how you can fuck up a baked potato is beyond me. But I had a pretzel roll that more than made up for it. I was in row 5. I watch Not-Janet start bringing the warm cookies out. She gave them out to row 1, 2, 3, and 4. I waited. And waited. And waited. I flashed my “where’s my dorping warm chocolate chip cookie” look to Not-Janet, you know the look ladies. But to no avail. There were no more cookies, evidently. What the dorp? Did they run out? What kind of cruel alternate universe was I living in? Was there a cookie lottery that I didn’t know about? Was this all part of some sort of Hunger Games? Did I need to fight for a cookie? Cause you bet your ass I would’ve. That 80yr old wouldn’t stand a chance. So, I’m pissy, again.  
> We’re getting close to landing, and we’re instructed to put away our tray tables. I push on my tray table, trying to fold it up. Not budging. I push down harder. Nothing. I had no trouble on the way down folding this fucker up. I’m pushing and pushing. Pushed down so hard I think my bladder dropped. Took a good five minutes. I swear I must have looked like a smacked ass. Do they have security cameras on planes? If so, I’m sure I’m famous by now, my tray table adventures legendary at American Airlines. I can see myself, strutting through the airport, carry-on bag wheeling behind me, finger gunning all the pilots and stewardesses, winking, nodding, as they whisper, “There she is, she’s the one. The one who can’t operate a fucking tray table. I hope she’s not on my flight.”  
> Okay, I’m finished! I’m running out of room. I'm being silenced! See you next chapter!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this will be a difficult chapter. Let me remind everyone that clexa is endgame. So please don't go off the deep end on me. True love is never easy. Our girls will have obstacles to overcome, but they will be fine, okay? Think Happy Ending. And I'm posting this mid-week in the hopes that nobody even reads it.  
> All right, our pics this chapter, First two are from the Great Wanheda. First one is some bad ass chihuahua on a Harley motorcycle. Her mom took it and sent it to her. Next is her kitty Penny. The third pic is from a new reader, IrishViking. This is Granger and Cooper. Cooper has odd coloring, and a raccoon-like tail. We had a fun guessing game going on in email. She dared me, yes, dared me to guess Cooper's lineage. Said I'd never guess. Of course my first guess was raccoon. So after days of guessing and multiple hints, I got it, Chow Chow. Furry dude looks nothing like a Chow.  
> Last pic in first row, two pitties from Crix, Chloe and Jenna. I have no idea. One is either super huge or super small. Hm.  
> Next up are all of Atomic Brunette's animals. It's like a farm. I kid. It is a farm. She lives on a big farm. Remember her pudgy pony Martin? Or should I say my future pudgy pony Martin. Well, these are his brothers and sisters. Oliver half-ear. (I'm assuming Martin ate it.) Cleo of tortoise, and queen of Sheeba. Then the next row, these two also belong to AB. They are, the evil twins. Her name not mine. I call them the bare naked ladies. I look at them and they freak me out. I'm like, "What the fuck?" every time I look at them.  
> That's a lot of cats, amirite? And how come she lives on a farm and doesn't have baby goats? Head scratcher.  
> But wait, there's more. Those are her fish, too. I don't know if they have names. I'll just name them now. That one is Dory, that one is Nemo, then Martin, and Bruce.  
> Lastly, our Dufus. She was forced to read the chapter. And she was not happy about it. She sent me a nasty text for putting drama in the story.  
> Shout out to Lisam for holding my hand thru this chapter. Love ya dude!  
> You can still send me pet pics if you want via email, cardwire1@aol.com, or the [tumblr](https://lorig11.tumblr.com/).  
> 

 

    

 Cool dude on a Harley                  Penny                                       Granger and Cooper the raccoon dog                Chloe and Jenna            

  

   Oliver, minus the tip of his ear                                                 Cleo                                           Sheeba. She looks so aloof. Bet she's Aquarian

  

     Bare Naked Ladies                                                     Finding Nemo

  

                                                             Dufus

 

 

Chapter 23

 

Monty and Clarke sat in the lounge, side by side on the couch. Clarke was thankful there were no emergencies that needed her attention at the moment.

“Maybe it’s a false positive,” Monty said.

“You know these things are ninety-nine percent accurate. And I did it twice.”

“Yeah.” Monty had brought back two tests, just in case.

Clarke sighed. “And I’ve got morning sickness. So, there’s that.”

They sat in companionable silence for a minute or two. “What am I gonna do, Mont?”

“Do you want the baby, Clarke?”

Clarke bit her lip, taking a few seconds to answer. “Yeah, I guess I do. Of course, I do. It’s just...the timing is awful. Like, it couldn’t be much worse. I didn’t think I’d have a child until my career was on track. I certainly didn’t want one while I’m still in my residency. Ugh.” She covered her face with her hands. “And I just broke up with Finn for god’s sake. We broke up. And now I’m pregnant. Unbelievable. Life is fucking cruel.”

“Are you gonna tell him?”

Clarke continued speaking through the hands that covered her face, head leaning against the back of the couch. “Of course. He has a right to know.”

“How do you think he’ll react?”

“Christ, he’ll be ecstatic. That’s all he’s ever talked about, having kids. Oh my god, I can’t believe this.” Clarke’s arms flopped back down on the couch.

“Will you get back together with him?”

The thought had briefly crossed Clarke’s mind. She took a moment to ponder the question. Was that an option? Probably. Lexa’s face suddenly swam before her eyes, and her heart skipped a beat. Clarke quickly pushed the image from her brain, not ready to deal with that right now. She didn’t want to remember the happiness that was there a mere hour ago. “I don’t know,” was the only answer she could give at this moment.

 

Clarke was like a zombie all through her shift at the hospital. Everything was different now, it was like the world changed in the last couple of hours. How naive she was, thinking life was complicated before. Thinking that breaking up a six-year relationship was complicated. Thinking that bucking her parent’s wishes for the first time was complicated. Ha! That was child’s play. _Now_ life was complicated. _Now_ there was nowhere to run or hide. The decisions she would make in the next couple of days would have a lasting effect, not just on her, but on other people. But she wasn’t making them now, they could wait, at least until she was off the clock.

So, pushing all thoughts aside, she immersed herself in work. With a strength Clarke didn’t know she possessed, she shut down her mind and went through her routines. There was comfort in routines. Comfort in doing the same things you’d been doing, day after day. A normalcy. At exactly three, she had a cup of coffee. At five, it was off to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Even though the meal was unappetizing, even though the food ended up just getting pushed around on the plate, this was what she did. At seven, with no emergencies looming, she cleared up paperwork from the week before. Because that is what she normally did when it was slow.

When Clarke got home, Finn’s car was in the driveway. She prayed that he had gone to bed by now, because it was almost eleven-thirty. Since the breakup, she’d been looking for an apartment in the area near the hospital that allowed cats, but so far, she’d had no luck. Staying at Finn’s, while not ideal, was the best she could come up with. Finn had offered her the guest bedroom. She knew it was his way of keeping her close. The silent pleading in his eyes was there when they would run into each other. Because he still held out hope that Clarke might come back. Occasionally, they would talk, and he would say that he still loved her, that he still thought it would work. That they were good together. Other times he would ask about her day, like nothing ever happened. Maybe this was his routine, his normalcy. His way of coping.

Clarke put the key in the lock and pushed open the door. Oliver was the first to greet her, bounding up and jumping all around. “Hey buddy, how’s my boy.” Leaning over, she gave him a hug and a kiss on the nose, smiling when he answered in kind. Jinx was next, weaving in and out of her legs, tail twitching. She straightened, putting the car keys in the bowl on the table. Finn was sitting on the couch watching TV.

Walking into the living room, she took a seat in the chair across from him.

He seemed to sense something was different, and looked at her questioningly, “Clarke? Are you okay?”

She was amazed that after all that had happened in the past four weeks, he could still show so much concern for her. That he could be so in tune to her feelings and moods. Clarke guessed that sixteen years of knowing someone could do that. “We have to talk.”

Finn reached for the remote and turned off the TV. “Is there anything wrong?”

A sad smile reached Clarke’s lips. Swallowing the lump that was starting to form in the back of her throat, she blew out a quick breath. “I’m pregnant.”

Finn’s reply was a blank stare.

“Finn, I’m pregnant.”

A chain reaction of emotions played across his face. First came confusion, then comprehension, then disbelief, then a tiny bit of controlled joy. “What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“How...wha...when?”

“How? Really?”

He started stammering, “I know how...Clarke...but...when…”

“After dinner at Bellamy’s? About a month ago? We didn’t use a condom.”

The light went on in his eyes. “Oh, right. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.” Finn jumped to his feet, rubbing at the back of his neck. “When did you find out?”

“Today.”

“What are you gonna do?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’m having it.”

A look of relief passed over him. “That’s good. Right?”

“I guess. Timing sucks.”

He went over to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in his. “I’ll help you. I’ll take care of you both. You can stay here. We’ll turn that third bedroom into a nursery. I can work on it in my spare time.”

Clarke’s heart constricted at the hopefulness in his eyes. “I don’t know…”

Finn was not to be deterred as his face brightened with enthusiasm. “Clarke let’s raise this baby together.”

Clarke knew that he would be a terrific dad. How many times did she hear him say that if they had a boy, he was going to teach him to play baseball. If it was a daughter, he would teach her to play golf.

“Clarke give us another chance. Let’s have this baby together. We can do this. We’ve always talked about having children. Please Clarke. Let’s try again. For our baby. We’ll just start fresh. Leave the past in the past. We’ll have a new beginning.”

Clarke slowly disengaged her hands from his. “I have to think about it, Finn. Right now, I feel so overwhelmed. I need a little time, to sort it all out.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course you do. I’m sorry. Think about it. But I’m here for you. Whatever you need, okay?”

“Thanks. I’m gonna head up to bed. We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Sure, yeah, later. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

As Clarke got up, Oliver got up with her. She looked to Finn. Oliver had been sleeping with him, and Clarke missed his canine warmth.

“Take him up with you, Clarke. Tonight, he should be with you.”

 

Clarke fell into bed, exhausted, but knowing that sleep would be elusive. She tossed and turned for hours, an inner dialogue running rampant in her brain. _Our baby_. They created a tiny life together. Clarke rested a hand on her abdomen. Already feeling the connection. This child was now the most important thing in Clarke’s life. Everything else paled in comparison. This baby’s happiness would come before all else, would come before Clarke’s happiness, before Clarke’s needs. This is what she did best. Others before self. She’d been doing it for over thirty years. She was used to it. She had to make the right decision as far as their futures were concerned.

Clarke’s legs were jittery, so she got up and walked around the room, continuing to try and sort through what was going on in her head.

Her thoughts drifted to Lexa. It wasn’t the first time she had thought about her. Green eyes were there, all day and night, floating in the periphery. Haunting her. Lexa, who made her smile and laugh. Whose touch was so tender it was almost heartbreaking. Clarke reached out and touched the T-shirt that was on the bureau. Lexa’s T-shirt. She brought the shirt to her nose and inhaled the scent of her. If she closed her eyes, she could feel Lexa’s arms around her. For the first time in her life, Clarke had felt free. Free to love, free to be herself, free from expectations. Free from pleasing other people. Free to be happy.

Taking off her night shirt, Clarke slipped Lexa’s T-shirt on instead, and was wrapped in instant warmth, as she continued to pace around the room. How could she possibly ask Lexa to take this on? They met barely four months ago. Four months! God, it felt like so much longer. And they spent most of those four months arguing and butting heads. So, really, they’ve been friends for a month. She couldn’t ask. It was too much.

Crawling back into bed, she pulled her knees into her chest, sighing. They had spent a wonderful weekend together. Well, it wasn’t even a full weekend. Hell, it wasn’t even a full day. Just an incredible eighteen hours. Yes, the sex was incredible. Intense and hot. But usually when something burns so hot, so quickly, it flames out just as quick. What if in a few months, their passion cooled, their feelings faded? And Lexa felt stuck. Stuck with Clarke and a baby that wasn’t hers? Trapped. How could she do that to Lexa? Having a baby wasn’t like moving in together or buying a house together. Having a baby was a lifetime commitment. You just don’t dump that kind of thing on someone you haven’t even known for very long. Right? Of course, you don’t.

Yes, Clarke was crazy about Lexa, fancied herself in love. But now, everything was different. There was someone else to consider. And Lexa never declared any feelings. Maybe she wasn’t feeling the same way Clarke was feeling. Maybe she wasn’t in love with Clarke. Just really attracted to her. Although Lexa did mention being tamed, but maybe that was said in the heat of the moment.

By the time Clarke got done talking to Clarke, it was five a.m., and she was convinced that a one-month friendship turned sexual relationship could not withstand a baby. Every rational bone in her body told her it was too much. It was crazy. It was unheard of.

The best thing for the baby was a stable environment, with two loving parents. Finn was the very definition of stable. He would love his child unconditionally. He would be a great father. He would move heaven and earth for his child, she knew this.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Oliver and buried her face in his coat, her heart starting to ache. Tears pooled in her eyes thinking about the ramifications of this decision. They spilled over as she thought about the conversation she would have with Lexa. Was it possible to pull away after getting so close this past weekend? God, she hoped so. Clarke prayed she had the strength.

Maybe she and Lexa could go back to being friends. Maybe friendship had a chance now. Maybe having sex will have taken the edge off their physical attraction, and the passion would fade, and they could still be in each other’s lives. That thought made her a tiny bit happy. Maybe it could work. Maybe.

 

* * *

 

The next night after work, Clarke was snuggled between her two besties. It was the second Clarke sandwich in the last month. Three gloomy faces stared at nothing.

“Are you sure?” Raven asked.  

“As sure as you can be,” Clarke said.

“Maybe it was wrong. Tests are wrong all the time,” O offered.

“No, the chances are extremely slim, like barely possible. And I puked twice. And I just know. I can’t describe how, but I do.”

Raven was practically inconsolable. “But you just grew your lady balls,” she said dejectedly. “It has to be wrong. It was wrong. Take it again.”

“Rave, I took it twice.”

Raven brushed a hand at watery eyes, sniffling.

Clarke turned to look at her.

“Allergies. I have allergies.”

“What are you going to do?” O asked.

“I’m gonna talk to Finn tonight. Tell him I’m willing to give it another try. For the baby.”

Raven yelped in emotional pain, “No! What about Lexa? Yesterday you were all high on life, because she rocked your world this past weekend. Your exact words by the way. Are you just gonna throw that away?”

“Rave, I have to think of the baby. It’s the best thing for my child.”

“No!” Raven wailed.

Octavia reached across Clarke to pat her girlfriend’s leg in sympathy. “Maybe Lexa will want to have the baby with you,” Octavia said.

“You want me to ask a woman, that I’ve only known for four months, to raise a baby with me?”

“Yes,” Raven stated, rather loudly. “Yes, that’s what you should ask.”

“You’re ridiculous. Nobody has a baby with someone they barely know. It’s not fair to even ask Lexa. Babies are a lifetime commitment.”

“You could still—”

“It’s Finn’s child. I owe him the chance to raise it.”

Raven scoffed, “You owe him, it’s the right thing to do, blah blah blah. What about you and your happiness, Clarke?”

Clarke remained patient with her bestie. She had never divulged her true feelings for Lexa, and now was definitely not the time to do so. She didn’t have the energy to explain why she was walking away from someone she was in love with. “I’ve gone this long without being totally happy, what’s another twenty years. Besides, I’ll have a baby to concentrate on. I’m sure I’ll find my happiness there. I was thinking, I don’t know, maybe we could go back to being friends. Lexa and I.” Clarke had spent all day trying to convince herself that this was the best solution, the best for everyone involved. She was still very much on the fence though. “I think it could work.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Raven said incredulously. “You think after you had great sex, you’re gonna turn off that attraction? Pfft! Good luck with that.”

A tiny voice inside Clarke screamed in agreement. Good luck with that was right. The chances were miniscule that they could put this weekend behind them, act like it didn’t happen, or act like they didn’t want it to happen again. But a gal could hope.

“Yeah, Rae’s right, might wanna wait on that friendship thing for a bit,” O said. “You guys have a ton of chemistry. That just doesn’t go away in a week.”

“And is Finn gonna let you just be friends with Lexa?” Raven asked

“He will if he wants me back. I think he knows he’s not in a position to make demands,” Clarke said. “I can’t not have her in my life. She’s too important.”

“But not important enough to have a baby with,” Raven groused, arms folded in defiance.

Clarke’s shoulders slumped. “That’s not fair.”

Raven looked away. Clearly unhappy with the turn of events.

“Jesus Christ, this whole thing is like some cruel fucking joke,” O said.

“Yes, yes, it is,” Clarke said nodding her head, already resigned to the future. “Life doesn’t always go the way you plan.” Clarke knew she was good at two things, intricate surgery and putting someone else’s needs above hers. She was fatally selfless.

Raven leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees, chin in her hands, depressed. “You and Lexa were great together.”

“We spent one day together,” Clarke said, her voice breaking a little, the pain evident, as the mention of her and Lexa together brought back a rush of memories. “Not even a day, just eighteen hours.”

“Eighteen hours? That’s an odd number,” Raven said in a lifeless voice.

“I counted them,” Clarke said sadly.

“Can’t you just say a day? It sounds better.”

“I could. I guess. But it wasn’t a full day.”

“Clarke, round it up,” Raven insisted.

In the interest of possibly making Raven feel a little better, Clarke relented. “Okay. We spent one day together.” She nodded her head. That did sound better. “Maybe it’s just not meant to be. Maybe the timing was wrong for us, I don’t know.”

“Why can’t you and Finn raise the baby but not be together?” O asked.

“I was raised in a house with two parents who loved each other. I think it’s important that I give that same opportunity to my baby.”

“But you don’t love Finn,” Raven pointed out.

“I do love him. I’m not in love with him.”

“Are you in love with Lexa?”

Clarke opened her mouth to answer, then thought better of it. Maybe if she didn’t say it out loud, she could pretend it wasn’t true.

“Clarke are you in love with Lexa?” Raven demanded.

Clarke closed her eyes. “Rave, please. This is hard enough.”

“It’s a simple question.”

O looked over at her girl. “Let that one go babe.”

“Okay.” Raven let out a big, heavy sigh. “Stay here with us, we’ll all raise the kid. It’ll have three moms,” she said, grasping at every straw she could think of. Raven learned to love dogs, she could learn to love kids.

“Oh right. I’ll have the only baby in the city whose first word will be fuck.”

Raven made a boo-boo kitty face. “I think that word gets a bad rap.”

“And I have Jinx. Your dogs would probably eat him.”

Both Raven and O absently nodded unison. “Yeah, definitely.”

“Yup. They hate cats.”

Clarke closed her eyes, accepting her fate. “My minds made up. I love you guys, but you know this is the best thing,” she said softly.

O stared straight ahead with a vacant expression. “Well, this is a lugubrious situation for sure.”

Raven and Clarke looked at her. “Wow, that’s a big one,” Clarke said with admiration.

O continued staring, nodding her head. “Was in my inbox today.”

“What the fuck does it mean?” Raven asked, sulkily.

“Looking or sounding gloomy.”

“Fucking right, lugu...whatever.”

“Lugubrious.”

“Yeah, that.” Raven raised her hand. O high fived her and Clarke sadly joined in.

“When you gonna tell Lexa?” O asked.

“I guess tomorrow. I’ll stop over and see her.” Clarke was hoping she could get through that visit without leaving little pieces of herself behind.

Raven got up off the couch. O and Clarke turned and watched as she walked into the kitchen. They watched her open the pantry door and pull out two bags of popcorn. They watched the bags get tossed in the trash. They were ready to turn back when Raven opened another cabinet, and out came another bag of popcorn, this one bigger than the last two. Into the trash that went. Thinking she was done, O and Clarke started to turn forward again, only to have their eyes dragged back to the kitchen, as Raven opened a third cabinet, and pulled out another bag, dumping that one, too. And lastly, she reached under the island and out came another bag, joining the others in the trash.

Clarke glanced at Octavia. “That’s a lot of popcorn.”

“She’s taking this pretty hard,” O said.

They watched Raven walk to the coat closet, rustle through her jackets, revealing baggie after baggie of popcorn, and walking those to the trash also.

Clarke and O waited patiently for Raven to be done. When the last bag was trashed, she came back, collapsing heavily on the couch. Clarke put an arm around her friend and Raven rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder. Octavia put her head on Clarke’s other shoulder. They stayed like that for over an hour.

 

* * *

 

Later that evening, Clarke waited patiently for Finn to get home from work. Tonight was his late night. She spent the time cooing over her favorite kitty. Oliver was sitting on her feet waiting patiently for a pat on the head, so willing to share her with Jinx. Who was still not good at sharing and whacked him on the nose every time he tried to put his head in Clarke’s lap. When she heard the key in the lock, she froze, her insides knotted up. As soon as the door was open, Clarke heard him call out excitedly.

“Clarke? Clarke?” He came jogging into the living room and stopped when he saw her. His eyes were so hopeful, but instead of making her happy it somehow made her sad. “Clarke.” He walked over and sat down next to her. “How did you feel today? Are you okay?”

“I felt pretty good. Only threw up once. Go me.”

“Did you have a chance to think things over?”

“I did,” Clarke nodded slowly. “I agree with you. We should raise our baby together.”

“Really? Really Clarke? Oh my god! This is great.” He grabbed her hands and got on one knee in front of her, smiling from ear to ear, “Clarke, marry me, again, I mean not again, but, you know what I mean, we’re having a baby! Let’s get married.” he pleaded.

Clarke’s eyes got big as she pulled her hands back. “Whoa! Slow down, Finn. Let’s just take it one day at a time. We’ll get back together for the baby. I’m not ready to think about anything more than that, okay?”

Finn couldn’t hide his disappointment. “Sure, one day at a time for now. I’m okay with that.” He got up and began pacing around the room. “Holy shit, we’re having a baby. I gotta call my mom and dad. Did you tell your parents yet?”

“No, not yet.” Not a call she was itching to make. “Can you wait until I tell my mom?”

“Yeah, absolutely. When are you gonna tell Abby?”

“I guess I’ll have lunch with her tomorrow at the hospital.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for you to tell her first, then I’ll call my mom and dad. This is great! We’re having a baby!” he yelled as he went into the kitchen to make a sandwich. “We have some planning to do.” He was like a kid on Christmas morning. “Maybe we can use the crib I had as a baby, I bet my mom still has it. She’s got so much stuff in their attic.”

Clarke collapsed back on the couch. Lexa was on her mind. She covered her face with her hands and rubbed, moved up to her temples and massaged, trying to wipe away the almost constant headache she had since this all started. This was the right thing to do she kept telling herself over and over again. Whatever was best for the baby. She squeezed her eyes shut. Tomorrow was gonna be an excruciatingly hard day.

 

* * *

 

Clarke fiddled with her phone as she sat in the surgeon’s lounge in the hospital. The melancholy mood that engulfed her was getting worse by the minute as she scrolled through previous texts from Lexa. She was saved from further torture when ‘Lunch with mom’ popped up in the calendar alerts. This was not going to be pleasant. She got up and made her way to the cafeteria. When she got there, her mom was already seated in the corner at her favorite table. Clarke bent down to peck her mom on the cheek before taking a seat. “Hey mom.”

“Clarke how are you today?”

“I’m okay.”

“Just okay? What’s wrong? I got you lunch. The special today was your favorite, a tuna melt.”

“Thanks.” Clarke stared town at the plate in front of her. Tuna melts could put a smile on anyone’s face, but not today. She picked up a French fry and shoved it in her mouth. There was never enough salt on these things. She picked up the salt shaker and liberally applied more.

“My goodness, that’s a lot of salt. There’s already salt on them.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, took another fry and rubbed more salt on it. She put it in her mouth, a defiant look in her eyes.

Abby gave her a look. “Suit yourself. You are what you eat. If you choose to be unhealthy, then so be it.”

The next fry froze in mid-air, right before Clarke’s lips. She put it back down on the plate. Shit. She was eating for two now. She needed to make healthier choices. She pushed the plate back.

Her mother cocked an eyebrow at her before taking a bite of salad. “Since when do you listen to me about food?”

Clarke just shrugged her shoulders in response.

Abby dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “How’s Finn? Are you two talking still? Relationships take work, Clarke. It’s not just fun and games all the time. Sometimes things are hard, and you have to get through them together. It’s all about communication.”

Clarke gritted her teeth at the relationship lecture. Which she’d been hearing non-stop since the breakup. “I know relationships take work, mom. I didn’t leave because things got hard.”

Abby held up a hand signaling the end to that part of the lecture. “Okay. Well, what’s happening now? Has anything changed?”

Clarke took a deep breath. For a hot second, she almost thought about not saying anything, just to be spiteful over the relationship comments. But then thought better of it. Abby would find out sooner or later. Might as well be sooner. “You could say things have changed.”

A look of surprise registered on her mom’s face. “Really? What happened? Is the wedding back on?”

“No. Not exactly.”

“Clarke, stop being coy, what’s going on?”  
  
“I’m pregnant.”

Abby looked stunned, putting her fork down. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I took a blood test this morning.”

“Is it Finn’s?”

“Of course, it’s Finn’s,” Clarke said, a little taken aback. “Whose do you think it would be?”

“Well, how do I know? _You_ broke up with _him_. Your father and I assumed maybe there was someone else. Maybe you found someone else.”

Clarke’s heart stuttered at the mention of someone else. “No. It’s his.”

“What are you going to do?”

“We’re getting back together, and we’ll have a baby I guess.”

Clarke wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen her mother happier. “Well, this is fantastic news then. We may be able to keep the same date for the wedding. I’ll talk to the pastor.”

“We’re not getting married, mom.”

A muscle in her mom’s jaw twitched with annoyance. “What? Of course, you’re getting married. You cannot have a baby out of wedlock. You can’t raise a child like that, with that stigma, it’s not right—”

“Mom,” Clarke said forcibly.

“What?”

“It’s our decision. Not yours. We’ll raise the baby how we see fit.” Her mom huffed but didn’t put up too much of a fight. Clarke knew she hadn’t heard the end of the marriage thing. But her mom was probably happy with winning a small battle in the bigger war.

“Well. I’m happy for you both. You’ll make excellent parents.”

Clarke listened to her mother drone on and on for another half hour. She was thankful to get a page to scrub in for an emergency. On the way to surgery, she mentally crossed one thing off her list of difficult conversations for today. Talking to her mother. However, the dread and heaviness in her heart was still there, because the worst part of the day was yet to come.

 

* * *

 

Lexa was in the cottage cleaning up after dinner, humming a tune she had just heard on the radio. A smile had barely left her face for the past two days. She hadn’t talked to Clarke since Sunday, which seemed a little odd, but then again, Clarke was a doctor and doctors worked crazy long hours. Maybe she would hear from her tonight, and if not, Lexa would call to make sure everything was okay. Hearing a knock at the door, she spun around to see who it could be, probably Ontari, who was closing up tonight. Her smile just got bigger because Clarke was visible through the window. Hustling over, Lexa pulled the door open, letting Clarke come inside. All the pets came rushing over. “Oh my god, I was just thinking about you. Well, actually not just. It’s been pretty non-stop since you left.” Lexa paused, she wanted to kiss Clarke, but something was off, something was wrong. She sensed it. “Clarke what’s the matter?” Lexa shut the door after Clarke was inside.

After petting all the animals, Clarke straightened up. She bit her lip and stared at the ground. “I need to talk to you.”

Lexa’s heart began sinking, and her gut clenched. Oh god, she was gonna lose her. She knew it, she could see it there, written all over Clarke’s face. Please be wrong, please, she begged. “Clarke what’s wrong? Whatever it is, I can fix it.”

Clarke couldn’t look Lexa in the eye, bottom lip still caught between her teeth.

“Clarke,” Lexa prodded, her heart beating a crazy rhythm, a nauseous feeling settling in the pit of her stomach.

Clarke finally looked at her with moist eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

Lexa’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

A few seconds of silence ensued.

“Okay. That’s okay.” Lexa hated asking the next question. “Are you keeping it?” She felt awkward asking, but Clarke had told her at paintball that she didn’t want children until she was finished with her residency.

Clarke just nodded, not speaking, restless eyes wandering around the room.

“What happens now?” Lexa asked in a hushed voice.

Clarke stared out the window. “I have to think of my baby. What’s best for him or her.”  

Lexa’s mouth went dry, she licked her lips, swallowing. “Okay, sure. I’ll help, I’ll be here for you. Hell, you can move in here. I’ll take care of both of you.” Lexa felt like she was suddenly in the fight of her life. “Let me take care of you,” she said softly.

Clarke’s eyes filled with more tears, and a spot of blood showed up on her lip. “Lexa, we haven’t known each other that long. We’ve been friends for a month. We were lovers for eighteen hours.”

Lexa flinched at the word ‘were.’ She reached out, grabbing Clarke’s hands, eyes begging for a chance. “So. We’ll make it work.”

Clarke gently pulled her hands away, and wiped at her eyes, shaking her head. “What if in a few months this sexual attraction fades, and you feel you made a huge mistake? What if you feel trapped? I can’t do that to you. A baby is a forever.”

Lexa knew she was losing the battle by Clarke’s posture. “Clarke, we can _do_ this. We can. Give me a chance! Give us a chance!” Lexa felt like she was sinking in quicksand. “Please Clarke, I—”

“I’m gonna go back to Finn. It’s his child, it’s only right that he should be able to raise it.”

Lexa began shaking her head side to side. “Clarke no, you don’t love him.”

Clarke’s eyes snapped up to Lexa’s, then immediately focused elsewhere. “It doesn’t matter, don’t you see? It doesn’t matter how I feel anymore. All that matters is this tiny little thing inside me now. It’s depending on me to do the right thing.”

“Clarke please. We can do this, please. Stay with me. Let me take care of you and the baby.” She reached out for Clarke, but Clarke backed away. Lexa’s hand dropped back to her side. Her heart was breaking. She was losing the most beautiful thing in her life. Clarke’s arms were folded across her chest now, shutting Lexa out. How could this be happening? How could Clarke do this? After the weekend they had spent together, after all the months of tormented dreams and stolen kisses.

The walls started to close in on Lexa. She was suffocating, there was no air in the room. The pain in her heart was sharp, like a knife was twisting inside, like a thousand knives leaving behind a thousand cuts. Clarke couldn’t even look at her. Lexa reached out and gently tilted her chin up. “Clarke look at me,” she said softly. She needed to see what was in Clarke’s eyes.

Blue eyes met green and Lexa searched their depths. Looking for god knows what, not seeing what she needed to see. It was like staring at a closed door. There was no light. No sparkle. And just like that, Lexa’s world imploded. All the happiness, all the elation of the past couple of days seeped out. Like a balloon with a slow leak, her insides collapsing. Lexa hated herself for feeling, for falling, for being weak. Her hand fell back to her side.

“Lexa, I have to do what’s best for the baby. You have to see that I’m right about this. Please,” Clarke implored.

Lexa threw her shoulders back, refusing to let the pain show. She was too proud. Her stubbornness reared its ugly head, hurt turned to anger. If Clarke didn’t care about her enough to stay, then so be it. Turning away, she stormed into the kitchen and put her hands on the sink. With a raised chin, she willed the tears not to come, tried to regulate her breathing so as not to cry out. “Just go,” she said, defeated.

She heard Clarke close behind her, “Lexa, please understand.”

“Don’t, okay?”

Clarke’s voice shook. “Lexa, maybe we could go back to being friends.”

Lexa looked to the heavens, praying for the strength to not cry. Being friends was not an option, she knew that. She was fucking crazy about Clarke. She didn’t want to be just friends. “I don’t think so, Clarke. Just go,” she said firmly. Lexa couldn’t face her, she would lose it if she turned around.

“Lexa, I—”

“Please, _just go_.” Lexa closed her eyes to prevent the tears from spilling out. “And don’t come back,” she whispered. Would she live to regret those words? Who knows. But it felt good to say them, hoping they inflicted pain.

The words hit their mark, as Clarke’s sharp intake of breath echoed around the room. The next sound Lexa heard was Clarke murmuring goodbyes to the animals. The last sound was the door closing. Turning around, she leaned against the sink. As she sunk to the floor, a sob tore from her throat, tears flowed freely, and she pulled her knees tight to her chest. The animals pooled around for support. And Lexa wondered how she was going to recover from this one.

 

* * *

  
That night Clarke found herself wide awake in bed at two-thirty a.m., wearing Lexa’s shirt and sweatpants. She found comfort in having them against her body. They were all she had left. She was still in the guest bedroom, not ready to go back to Finn’s bed. There were no fantasies that kept her up. No green-eyed brunette tempting and teasing. Reality kept her awake. Occasionally, a tear would escape and leak down to the pillow. When Clarke turned over, she was surprised at the wetness against her cheek, not realizing how much she had cried. _And don’t come back._ All she could see was the devastation in Lexa’s eyes. The pain in those eyes ripped right through her, leaving Clarke broken and numb. She loved Lexa. She loved her, and she destroyed her. _And don’t come back._ Those words were echoing around the emptiness in her heart. An emptiness she could only pray that a child would fill. Clarke knew she would carry this numbness inside for at least nine months. This was the right thing to do played over and over in her mind. So logical. So rational. The right thing to do _._

Her heart disagreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wracking my brain for an end note to entertain you all. But it seems I've managed to depress myself with this chapter. Let's see. I recently shared this story with IrishViking, and E last year. I don't know about anybody else, but I used to have a lot of bathroom dreams. Have you had these? I'm in a panic in my dream, cause I have to pee and the only toilet is sitting in the middle of a crowded room, just out in the open. Or if it's in a public restroom, it has no door. Or is has a half door. And the restroom is packed with people. Sometimes I continue searching, sometimes I bite the bullet and I pee. And I swear to god, I have no idea how I do not wet the fucking bed. Anyway, I guess these dreams must symbolize privacy, privacy issues, or whatever.  
> So, now the stage is set. I'm at a Phillies game years ago, went to the restroom, but the line was sooo long, like most women's restrooms. I am finally next. Straight ahead of me is the first stall. And god I hate the first stall. I feel like the whole line is peering in thru the cracks around the door to look at me. And sure enough, that's the stall door that opens first. I cringe. But I have no choice. I proceed forward and go into the first stall. I latch the door. I wish it had a dead bolt, but you know, these restrooms always have crappy locks. I get myself situated, I'm hovering, cause the seat is probably disgusting. I'm going. The person in the stall next to me slams their door. And doesn't my door slowly swing open. And there is the entire bathroom line, staring back at me. My pants around my ankles. My lady bits on full display. A haunted look on my face for sure. A dream come true. But not the good kind. No. The bad kind. A nightmare come true. I was scarred for life. I think I slowly reached out and shut the door. Probably stayed in there until the end of the game. I don't remember. I'm sure I blacked out. To this day, if my latch is not secure, I hover, and I hold the door closed with my hand. I've gotten quite adept at holding the door with the one hand, grabbing toilet paper and wiping with the other.  
> So, that's my not very funny story. Does anybody else have bathroom dreams? Or other freaky recurring dreams? Or knows how to interpret dreams? I figure, if I get you all talking about something else, you won't send me a bunch of hate mail.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa tries to move on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Struggled to get this chapter out. Thanks to Lisam, who really held my hand through this one. After this, there will be one more angsty one, then the last two chapters, which will be all kittens and warm chocolate chip cookies! Yes, after this chapter, only three left to the story. And as you read and wanna throttle me, know that this was the way my story was always going to go. I haven't veered off course, this is what was always gonna happen. And yes, the baby memories will come back to them. I haven't forgotten!  
> We do have some pics below, from E and few others. I put the comments below. Let's see, what else? Oh, we're running out of time if you have travel or pet pics. Or, any fun pics to be honest. Email me at cardwire1@aol.com or tumble me [here](https://lorig11.tumblr.com/).  
> I turned on my "allow anonymous questions" on the tumblr. Did not realize it was off. Peaches pointed it out to me. Which she probably regretted because it took over an hour for her to explain to me how to turn it on. Yes, I know, I'm a moron. Seriously, an hour. She was sending me screen shots and everything. A toddler could learn rocket science quicker. Anyway, she was hoping to anonymously bust my lady balls for breaking Lexa's heart. So now you can sneak on there and curse me out anonymously. But, it's for questions, so make sure you use a "?". For example, make sure you write, "So fucktard, you're a fucking idiot for putting us through all this pain?" "You really suck?" "Don't call yourself a writer?" "Stop writing cause you're really bad at it?"

                           From E and the dog ranch, Tuffy  and Tipsy and Tiffny. Oh my.  And yes, that's spelled Tiffny. I don't name them.

From Bdasswarrior, her new rescue Bear, and her cat Xena                             From Tobesan, kitty Heathcliff. What a great name.

From freewheelin, kitty Uncle Tyrone and Piper, the mostly blind wonder dog.      Overtherainbow371223, this beautiful kitty. Name? Lexa!!!

So MzChuck, aka chuckles, my first aussie commenter, who after a year and a half finally tumbled me, sends me these pics while she was on vacay. This large male Roo shows up at her place. I of course, think it's adorable. I mean, he has a pouch for god's sake. If I were there, I'd for sure try and give him a hug. And get killed for my troubles cause they're supposedly aggressive as fuck. Then as I lie dying on the ground, I'm sure a koala will come over and shat on me. Just because. Then the bin birds will peck my eyes out. And don't get me started on drop bears.

So, Chuckles and I chatted about birds. She knows I'm a bird watcher. Cause I told her. This is what happens when you start tumbling people. You get to know them a bit. Anyway, she sends me a pic of a plover. Please pay attention here. Plovers are birds, usually foraging along the ground, mostly by water. In the U.S., we have this furry lil cutie below, the piping plover. Look at him. Seriously. Look. Then check out the pic next to him. Spur-winged plover or Masked Lapwing. Are you noticing that pointy spur thing on his wing? Guess where this bird is found? Australia. I wouldn't be surprised if those spurs carry poison. In fact, I'd be disappointed if they weren't poisonous.

One of our plovers in the U.S. Piping Plover. Wanna put him in my pocket.  This guy is Spur-winged Plover. Jesus fuck. It's a claw or talon. There. On his fucking wing! You ain't putting that in your pocket.

 

This bug is Elizabeth's new pet. Rupert. A ten-lined june beetle. He looks a bit clingy. And see how big our Dufus is? Our Banshee, she grew up with this story. Sniffle. That's her best friend Connie. I don't know who the jealous one in the back is.

 

Chapter 24

 

_Clarke slowly opened the door to the apartment, her stomach knotted up with dread. Niylah was suddenly in front of her, shrieking happily and pulling her into a kiss. She pulled back and dragged Clarke into the living room, her voice pitched high with excitement. “I packed up the kitchen stuff and the bathroom stuff, so all that’s left is your clothes. My sister called, and she put the deposit down on that apartment that we both liked. Did you hear back from NYU? I can’t believe we’re gonna live in New York! God, I love that city.” Suddenly Niylah realized that she was the only excited one in the room. “Clarke?” Niylah’s voice was suddenly full of concern. “Are you all right?”_

_Clarke grabbed Niylah’s hands and led her to the couch. “We have to talk.”_

_They both sat down. “Clarke you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”_

_Clarke held onto Niylah’s hands. “I can’t go. I can’t go to New York with you.”_

_Niylah stared with her mouth half open. “What?”_

_“I can’t go with you. I have to stay here. I have to—”_

_“What do mean you can’t come with me?” Niylah interrupted. “We’ve been_ _planning this for six months, Clarke. What happened? Is it your mom? It’s your mom isn’t it. And your dad. They’re telling you not to come, aren’t they? What did they say?”_

_“They want me to stay in Seattle and go to med school here, and—”_

_“Babe, you’re a college graduate now, you can do whatever you want.” Niylah was getting angry. “Stop placating them. Live your fucking life, the life you wanna live. The life we both wanna live. This is a huge deal for me. Broadway, well, off, Off-Broadway, doesn’t come knocking on your door very often.”_

_“Niy, please, listen to me. Yes, they want me to stay, but not for them.”_

_Niylah crossed her arms. “Then for who?”_

_“It’s my Gram. My parents just told me she’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” Clarke sighed. “I stopped over to tell them I was going to New York and they told me.”_

_“So right when you were going to leave, they tell you. Unbelievable. How long did they know?”_

_“I don’t think for very long, why?”_

_“It just seems odd, that the exact moment you say you’re going to New York, that they tell you that. They’re just trying to control you, as usual. They’re using Gram to keep you here.”_

_“I don’t know if that’s it or not, but she won’t have many good years left. I have to be here for her. She was everything to me growing up.” Clarke squeezed Niylah’s hands. “Look, New York is a big deal for you, and you need to go. We’ll be fine. I’ll visit when I can. We’ll be together when you come home for break. We can make this work, I promise.”_

_“Another promise? You promised we would move to New York together and make a life.” Niylah softened and cupped Clarke’s face gently. “Clarke, I don’t want a long distance relationship. I love you. I want you with me.”_

_“I love you too, it’s just that...I need to stay here. It’s the right thing to do. It’s my Gram, Niy. You and I can still be together; it’ll just take some work. I’m willing to try. Please,” Clarke pleaded. “I don’t have a choice. I have to stay.”_

_Niylah’s eyes puddled up with moisture. “It’s the right thing for who, Clarke? You? Or your parents?”_

_“For my gram, Niy.”_

_“Clarke, Gram Ev always wanted you to be happy. She always wanted you to follow your dreams.”_

_Clarke rubbed at her temples. There was a crushing weight settling on her chest, and she was having trouble drawing a breath._

_“There’s always a choice Clarke. You could choose to come with me.”_

_“I can’t right now. But I will at some point.”_

_“Some point? When would that be, Clarke?”_

_Clarke knew her Gram would have maybe one or two good years left. Maybe less. Then the ravages of Alzheimer’s would take over and things would get very bad. She couldn’t give a time table. “I don’t know.”_

_“Clarke, I need you with me. I’m moving across the country, I don’t wanna do that alone. I want my girlfriend with me.”_

_“Niylah, please understand.”_

_Pain was etched all over Niylah’s face. “Remember what happened to Sue and Jen?”_

_Sue and Jen were close friends of theirs. Jen moved to Chicago for a job opportunity, leaving Sue behind, both promising they’d make it work. It lasted six months._

_“Clarke, long distance relationships don’t work.” Niylah brushed at the tears that slipped from her eyes. “At first, you think they will. You call, every day. Then you get busy, and you call once a week. And then life starts getting in the way, and suddenly, you don’t remember the last time you called.” She took a tissue from the box on the coffee table and blew her nose. “I don’t want that, Clarke. Please. Come with me.”_

_Clarke felt like she was falling from a cliff and there was nothing to grab onto. It was a no-win situation. Her choice was made as soon as she found out Gram Ev was sick. “I can’t,” she whispered. “Not right now.”_

_Niylah shook her head. “You have to choose Clarke. Come with me now, or…” Her voice trailed off._

_“Or what?”_

_“It’s over.”_

_Clarke’s gut clenched. She knew she couldn’t leave Gram Ev. Not now._

_Niylah bit her lip and nodded her head. Clarke’s silence spoke volumes. “Okay. I guess that’s it then.”_

_“Niy—” Clarke reached out a hand._

_Niylah flinched and backed away from Clarke. “No.” Niylah’s voice broke and a sob escaped. “You made your choice. So just go. And don’t bother calling me.”_

 

Clarke sat on the floor, back against the bed, knees pulled tight against her chest. One fist clenched at the hem of Lexa’s T-shirt, the other toyed with the hole in her jeans, fingers absently pulling at the fraying threads. She’d barely taken the shirt off since coming home with it a week ago. It hadn’t been washed yet. Clarke was afraid to wash off the scent of Lexa.

She hadn’t thought about the breakup with Niylah in years. It was something that she regretted for a long time afterward. They were so in love. At first, she thought that Niylah wouldn’t hold her to that ultimatum. That she’d call and tell Clarke they could work it out. But she never did. And Clarke just left it alone. She should have tried harder. Tried harder to convince Niylah it could work. Done something besides just walk away.

She walked away from Lexa, too. Was that a mistake she would live to regret also? Clarke was afraid to answer that. Her two greatest loves. And she walked away from them both. A hand went protectively to her belly. It was the right thing to do. Wasn’t it?

“Babe? You getting ready?” Finn asked through the closed door of the guest bedroom. “We have to leave soon, we’re gonna be late as it is. You know how your mom hates when we’re late.”

God. Dinner with the parents tonight. Ugh, she wasn’t looking forward to this. “I’ll be right there,” she snapped. Realizing her tone was unacceptable and it wasn’t Finn’s fault, Clarke apologized. “Sorry, I’m just hormonal.”

“It’s okay, babe.”

Clarke cringed at the endearment. Not ready to hear those things fall from his lips. The past week was spent either crying for no good reason or angry at Finn for just existing. She blamed the mood swings on pregnancy hormones. Hormones were the reason she cried when she looked at Oliver, who was confused as to why he no longer went to daycare. Hormones made her cry when she saw a motorcycle on the road. She even teared up when she passed golf courses. Hormones. Nothing else. But deep inside she knew “no good reason” wasn’t the reason.

She heard Finn go downstairs and knew she had to get moving. No need to put her parents into a sour mood by being late to dinner. With a sigh Clarke heaved herself up and began getting dressed.

 

When they arrived at the restaurant, Jake and Abby were already seated and waved to get their attention. Finn acknowledged them, and they headed over. On the way to the table, Clarke heard her name called. She looked around and was surprised to see Maya waving at her from a booth across the room. Clarke put a hand on Finn’s arm. “Hey, there’s Maya and Jasper, I’m gonna go over and say hi. I’ll be right back.”

“Sure Clarke.” Finn waved at them both and headed over to Clarke’s parents.

Maya jumped out of her chair and gave Clarke a big hug. Jasper did the same.

Clarke took a step back. “You look great, what a cute dress. And Jasper, you look so handsome in your suit.”

Jasper bowed, “Thank you madam. It’s our anniversary today.”

“Oh my god, congratulations! How many years?”

“Fifteen,” Maya said proudly.

“Well, that’s great. Where’s Aden?”

“He’s staying with Lexa tonight.” Maya said, realizing too late that Lexa’s name should probably stay out of the conversation. Jasper winced at her outburst.

An awkward silence followed.

Clarke cleared her throat. “How is...how’s she doing?”

Maya twisted her hands together. “She’s hanging in there. She’s, ah, she’s...hanging in there.”

Suddenly Clarke wanted to be anywhere but here. Her face flushed and she couldn’t breathe. She wanted to run out of the restaurant to clear her head and cool off. She wanted to run home and hide away from the pain of hearing her name. Just crawl into bed and pull the covers over her head. Who was she kidding? She really wanted to run back into Lexa’s arms.

Maya grabbed Clarke’s hand, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just had a hot flash or something.” Clarke fanned at her face. “I should probably head over to my table. It was good seeing you guys. We should get together. I miss Aden.”

“He misses you too, Clarke,” Maya said sadly.

“Tell him soon. We’ll get together soon.” Clarke hugged them both and headed back to her parents and Finn.

She kissed Jake and Abby hello and sat down next to Finn.

Jake grabbed her hand, “How are you feeling, princess?”

Clarke always hated that pet name. And hearing it instantly made her irritable. _Hormones_. “I’m fine, dad.”

“Any spotting?” Abby asked.

“No, everything is good.”

“I think you should have an ultrasound in a couple of weeks,” Abby said.

Clarke almost rolled her eyes but managed to control herself. “Why would I get one so early, mom? You know you can’t see or hear much of anything that early.”

“Just a precaution Clarke. We doctors are always under a lot of stress.”

“Mom, I’m sure everything’s fine.”

“There’s no harm in just checking.”

Clarke was in no mood to argue. What did it matter? “Fine. I’ll get one.”

“Good. How’s the morning sickness?”

“Still going strong.”

Finn reached out and rubbed her shoulder. “Just another two months or so and you’ll be through that.”

No shit Sherlock. Clarke nodded politely and smiled. “I know.”

“Are you taking your prenatal vitamins? They’re very important,” Jake said.

“Yes, of course I’m taking them.” Suddenly everyone seemed to forget that she was a doctor, too. God to be anywhere but here. Where she wanted to be right now was in a certain claw foot tub with a certain brunette. That thought caused a sharp pain near her heart and she clutched at her chest.

“Are you okay?” Finn asked.

Clarke nodded.

“I think you both need to seriously consider getting married before the baby is born,” Jake said.

Clarke knew they’d both be hearing this non-stop for the next eight months. “Dad, if we wanna get married, we will, if we don’t, then we won’t.”

Jake opened his mouth to argue, but Abby stayed him with a hand on his arm. “One thing at a time. We want this pregnancy to be a success, so let’s not stress anybody out.”

Clarke frowned at her mother’s choice of words. Why wouldn’t it be a success? Just her mother being dramatic as usual.

Jake nodded at Abby. “Of course, of course, I’m sorry.” He filled everybody’s flute with a bottle of Ariel Brut that was sitting on the table, then raised his glass. “I propose a toast. This is non-alcoholic by the way. To Clarke and Finn, congratulations on getting back together,” he said, smiling at them both. “I always thought you two were perfect together. I’m glad you’re giving it another shot.”

They clinked their glasses together and sipped the sparkling non-alcoholic wine, all smiling except Clarke, who blanched at the words “perfect together.” Another hot flash of sorts took hold, and she picked up her purse. “I need some fresh air. I’ll be back.”

Finn got up from his chair to follow her, “I’ll come with you, babe.”

She placed a hand on his chest. “No, it’s okay. It’s one of those hot flashes. I just need a few minutes.”

Finn nodded his head and sat back down.

She walked out of the restaurant to catch her breath. It felt like a panic attack was about to take hold and she tried to regulate her breathing. She couldn’t handle this right now. She rubbed at her temples and glanced back into the restaurant before calling for an Uber. She’d blame the hormones. Such an easy excuse for everything these days.

When the Uber arrived, Clarke got in the backseat and gave the address to the driver. She texted Finn.

                                                  _don’t feel good, taking uber and heading home._

As the black sedan rolled through neighborhood after neighborhood, she gazed out the window, watching the trees and houses whip by. Thinking about Niylah had dredged up feelings that had been buried for so long. She’d always considered that decision her biggest mistake. Up until a week ago. Was there a new number one? Time would tell.

The driver hit his turn signal, but before he could swing into the driveway, Clarke spoke up, “Please pull over here for second.”

The driver did as he was told and pulled over in the street.

Clarke gazed longingly up the long driveway leading to the farm house. The store was closed at this late hour, but she could see the cottage, light softly filtering through the curtains. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw shadows moving around the living room. Three of them. Who was there? Aden of course. Who was the third person? She put a hand on the window as the shadows moved away from the window and disappeared. Who else was there with Aden and Lexa? She swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Ma’am, don’t you want me drive up to the door?”

“No, I’m sorry. Can you take me to 265 Lakewood Drive?” _And don’t come back._ The pain of those four words would never go away. They reverberated inside her soul. Like an echo in a canyon. Only echoes in canyons died down at some point.

“Sure, Ma’am.”

With tears in her eyes, Clarke sat back in the seat as the driver turned around and headed back to Finn’s house. She rested a hand on her belly. _You’ll be enough. You have to be._

 

                                                                                                             * * *

 

Lexa sat at the kitchen table finishing up her second cup of coffee. She had no idea what time it was. Hell, she didn’t even know what day it was. She looked at the calendar on the fridge. Tuesday. It was Tuesday. Clarke left over three weeks ago. Three very long, agonizing weeks. Three weeks and a day, to be exact. That would make it twenty-two days without Clarke. The now familiar pain stabbed at her heart. The pain of regret. Why didn’t she tell Clarke she loved her? If you love someone you should tell them. Maybe it would’ve made a difference. Maybe then Clarke would’ve given them a chance. No. Clarke walked away. Clarke didn’t want her. Clarke couldn’t love her. Could she? This never-ending debate played over and over in her mind.

Thumper jumped onto her lap, then up on the table. She didn’t have the energy to push him down. One paw found its way into her coffee mug. Lexa wondered where that paw had been. Probably in the litter box. She shrugged and brought the mug to her lips anyway. Fuck it. Does it really matter if she dies from some litter box disease?

Doom and gloom were constants in Lexa’s life these days. And the gray Seattle weather was not helping her mood, as the persistent drizzle of the last few days made her extra morose. Lexa could barely stand to be in the cottage. Everything reminded her of Clarke. She kept the guest bathroom door shut, not being able to stomach looking at the claw foot tub every time she walked down the hallway.

The first time Lexa took a shower and reached for the duck-covered shower cap, her hand froze and the muscles in her stomach clenched. With shaky legs, she sank down to the shower floor. The cap was now residing in the drawer next to the sink. Someday maybe she could hang it back up. But not now. Not with every memory so fresh in her mind. Time seemed to be moving at a slow crawl. She just wanted to push ahead and be over everything, over Clarke, over being in love.

Lexa got up and rinsed the mug in the sink, then packed up her laptop. On the way out the door she gave each kitten a kiss, and walked over to the store with the dogs close behind. She found being there kept her mind somewhat occupied.

Anya and Luna were sitting behind the cash register eating lunch. “Hey girls.” She said this with as much cheer as she could muster. Which wasn’t much.

“Hey buddy,” Anya said, with a look of pity. “Still depressed?”

“I’m not depressed. I’m fine.” Lexa walked around and sat with them. Of course, she was depressed. Who wouldn’t be fucking depressed?

Anya held out a half a sandwich to her. “Here, turkey and swiss on rye.” She placed it on a paper plate and slid it in front of Lexa.

“Thanks.” Lexa tried to remember when she last ate.

Luna put an arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “You’ll feel better soon. You just have to get through these first few weeks.”

Lexa inhaled and pushed out a shaky breath, thankful she didn’t need to keep up some false facade of happiness around her friends. “Everything sucks.”

“Maybe you should take your bike out later today,” Anya suggested. “It’s supposed to be sunny this afternoon and the fresh air will do you good.”

Lexa hadn’t been on the bike since Clarke left. The memory of their naked adventure that night popped into her brain every time she walked by the Harley, and it was akin to walking on shards of glass in bare feet. Or better yet, it was like someone was reaching into her chest cavity and trying to cut her heart out—with a rusty knife—that wasn’t quite sharp enough—so a lot of hacking was needed. Yep. That’s the better visual. “I don’t wanna ride anymore.”

Anya tried a different tact. “Why don’t you come to the bar with us Saturday? Might do you good to get yourself out of the house.”

Luna nodded her head. “Costia was asking about you the other night. She’s adopting one of our foster dogs.”

“Oh yeah?” Lexa asked, trying to look interested. And failing miserably. “That’s nice,” she said in a monotone voice.

Anya and Luna exchanged a glance. Anya took a deep breath. “Maybe you could get back on friendly terms with her again. You guys did have fun together.”

Lexa stared at the sandwich. Everything was so unappealing. “I have zero interest in sleeping with her.”

“I don’t mean have sex with her. Jesus, Lexa. I would never suggest that. I mean hang out again. It’ll give you something to do other than stare at your claw foot tub.”

Lexa glanced up at Anya with annoyance. “I don’t stare at my claw foot tub.”

“You open that door and look at it sometimes. I don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.”  
  
“I’m thinking of re-painting in there, that’s all.”

Anya held her hand up. “Okay, if you say so.”

Luna gave Lexa another gentle shake. “Look, just call her and talk. Nobody’s saying sleep with her. That’s not what this is about.”

“Yeah, and neither one of you was ever interested in a relationship. So, we’re not saying start dating her. Just be friends again.”

Luna nodded in agreement. “It’s about getting you out in the world again. You’ve been shut up in this office for three weeks straight.”

Lexa knew she’d been hiding from everything. The office was the only place that wasn’t awash with Clarke memories. And just like that, an image invaded her consciousness, Clarke and the kittens. Clarke wanting to out her as a cat lover on Facebook. Milo and Yogi jumping into her car. Wanting to follow her everywhere. Ugh. She couldn’t escape her. Now the office was tainted as well. There was no place to hide. She’d have to move across the country to get away from her.

She looked at her two friends and surrendered. They were right. Costia was fun. And she just couldn’t sit around all day and night thinking about Clarke. She needed to start moving on. Clarke was having a baby. It was over. It was over before it even started. Oh god. Why did she tell her not to come back? Maybe if they were friends it would ease this persistent pain. Maybe everything would be different if she’d said those three little words.

“Lexa!”

“Huh? What?”

“Just call her,” Luna said. “She’d love to hear from you. She’s not expecting anything other than to maybe be friends again.”

“Who, Clarke?”

“Clarke? No!” Anya threw her hands up. “Have you been listening? Call Costia.”

“Okay. Fine. I’ll get in touch with her.”

“I might have told her you’d help her out with the dog. He’s a wild one,” Luna chimed in. She got up, grabbed Lexa’s chin and gave her a hard kiss on the mouth. “You’re gonna survive this. Trust me. I gotta go, duty calls.” She leaned into Anya and kissed her as well. “Bye babe. See you tonight.”

Luna left the two best friends alone. “You ready to talk business?” Anya asked.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I think I have everything ready for this Sunday.” Sunday was their annual Customer Appreciation Day. Every year they set up tables in the parking lot and had a barbecue, inviting all their clients and potential customers.

“The ad was in last Sunday’s paper, not sure if you saw it or not. It turned out pretty good. They’ll run it again this Sunday. Raven did a great job with the website, too. She’s got a banner running across the top of the home page.”

Lexa nodded. “Sounds good. I’m sure it looks great.”

“So far the weather looks good.”

“I’m sorry. I should be helping. Did we order the burgers and hotdogs?”

“I already did that.”

“Thanks, Anya. I’ll snap out of this soon, I promise.”

“I know. I feel for you, buddy. Have you heard from her at all?”

Lexa shook her head. “I don’t expect to.”

“Well, is there any chance you and Clarke could be friends again?”

Lexa fiddled with the sandwich in front of her. “I don’t think so. I can’t imagine being just friends. At least not for a while. I don’t even know if I can be around her right now. I feel…so shattered.” Lexa pushed the plate away in disgust. “I thought she cared about me. I thought we had something special.” Lexa paused. “I was fucking wrong. I guess I was nothing to her.”

Anya sighed. “I don’t believe that. I think Clarke did care.”

Lexa’s lip curled in disgust. “I was just a temporary distraction.”

“No way. Listen, she didn’t plan on getting pregnant. It happened. A child changes your life. I don’t think she wanted to hurt you. I think she made a decision based on what she thought was best for the baby. Maybe someday you’ll be able to understand that. And at some point, I _do_ think you’ll be friends again.”

 _And don’t come back._ Lexa trembled when she thought of the words. “I don’t think so,” she whispered.

 

                                                                                                             * * *

 

That Saturday, Lexa did make plans with Costia to help with her new pooch. They met at the park and Lexa was introduced to Max, a forty-five-pound whirling dervish of a dog. “Hey girl, looks like you’ve got your hands full here.”

“Hey Lex!” Costia gave her a hug. “How’ve you been?”

“I’m okay, how about you?”

“I’m good thanks. Hey, I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now. I just wanted to apologize for how things ended. I know I went away for a couple weeks after Raven’s party and then just kinda dropped off the face of the earth.”

Lexa remembered how she couldn’t take her eyes off Clarke at Raven’s party. She was drunk and in lust. All in front of Costia. Who had every right to be upset. They may not have been in an actual relationship, but they were there on a date. And to top it all off, she kissed Clarke. Or to be exact, Clarke kissed _her_. Their first kiss. And their second. Lexa felt herself sliding down a slippery slope and quickly pushed all thoughts of Clarke’s lips aside. “It’s fine. I totally understand. I was an ass that night. I’m sorry.”

“We good then? Friends again?” Costia playfully put her hand out for a shake.

Lexa gratefully took it, happy to move forward with their friendship. “You bet, friends. Now, what do we have here? Max looks very energetic. What the heck were Luna and Anya doing? Usually their dogs are a little more disciplined than this.”

“They didn’t have him for very long. He was so cute, I kinda fell in love at first sight when I was over for dinner last week.” He started jumping and lunging at a squirrel up in the tree. “And then I got him home.”

“Oh god, do you have buyer’s remorse?”

“No. Nothing like that. I knew he needed some work. But that’s okay. My job changed at work, and I won’t be traveling anymore, so I’ll have more time now. And I always wanted a dog. Growing up we always had dogs.”

“I see. And now you have Max.” Max was jumping in the air for no apparent reason. “The jumping bean. He’s got good up’s. He looks like he has some border collie in him.”

“That’s what Luna said. I like his gray and black coat.”

“Yeah, it’s called blue merle. And he’s got that crazy blue eye.”

Costia laughed. “Yeah, that’s kinda freaky. But I secretly love that, too.”

“Well, let me show you some basic stuff, and then you can work on it when you get him home.”

They spent the next hour with Max. Lexa even managed to laugh for the first time in a couple of weeks. She only thought about Clarke ninety-eight percent of the time, instead of a hundred. Any reprieve was welcome at this point.

 

Clarke was out with Raven walking the dogs at the park. She was eight weeks pregnant.

“Did you have your ultrasound yesterday?” Raven asked.

“Yeah. They couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat yet.”

A look of concern crossed Raven’s face. “Is that normal?”

“It’s not unusual. It happens a lot with an ultrasound this early. Sometimes the baby is hidden, and you can’t hear it. We scheduled another one at ten weeks. We should hear it then.”

“Why get the ultrasound then, if there’s a chance you won’t hear anything?”

Clarke cocked an eyebrow. “Why do you think?”

“Abby?”

“Exactly. She just wanted to make sure things were okay.”

“Of course, she did. How’s your morning sickness?”

“Still going strong.”

“Yuck.”

They were sitting on a bench, people watching. It was a beautiful warm Saturday and the park was packed. The dogs were panting from the heat, which meant they were actually behaving.

“You’re gonna be an aunt,” Clarke said, putting her arm around Raven.

“I know. It’s scary. I’m gonna drop the F bomb all over that kid. Better be prepared.”

“I know.”  
  
“And you’re right, his first word is gonna be fuck, you just know it will be. Or her first word.”  
  
“I know.”

“Maybe he’ll say it in front of Finn’s mom. That would be funny. This little toddler looking up at Grammy Collins, pointing its chubby little finger, and saying fuck.”

“That's Grandmother Collins. And she’ll soil her undies for sure if that happens.”

Raven giggled at the visual.

Clarke sighed. She wished her spirits were brighter. “Remember that code brown a couple months ago?”

“Jesus Christ, how could I forget? I almost shat all over this park.”

“Fun times.”

“Yeah. Don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can barely go now that I’m not eating popcorn. It was, like, my only vegetable.”

“I told you before. It has no nutritional value.”

“Says you.”

“Says the entire medical community.”

“Pfft. I’m still blaming you. Thanks for the constipation Clarke.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“What the fuck ever, Clarke. I’m blaming you.”

“Fine.” Clarke was staring off into the distance when she saw a familiar figure. Her heart jumped into her throat when she recognized Lexa.

Raven heard Clarke’s intake of breath and looked around. “What?”

Clarke couldn’t speak. Lexa was not alone. Costia was there. A dog was on a leash and she could tell Lexa was trying to teach Costia how to handle the dog.

Raven finally spied what held Clarke’s gaze. “Shit, is that Lexa? Who’s she with?” Raven put her hand above her eyes to shield herself from the glare of the sun.

“Costia,” Clarke said quietly.

“Fuck.” Raven looked at her friend to gauge her reaction. “Sorry Clarke.”

“No need to be sorry. I guess she moved on already.” Clarke felt a stab of disappointment, and something else. Something incredibly painful. Seems she was already forgotten. “She’s free to see who she wants.” Maybe Costia was the third shadow that day. And here she was with Lexa. They were obviously dating each other again.

“Well, maybe they’re not together. Maybe Lex is just helping her with the dog and—” Before Raven could finish they both saw Costia pull Lexa close and kiss her. “Fuck. Well, friends kiss. Hell, you and Lex kissed for months as friends.” Raven could tell by the expression on Clarke’s face that she was digging a deep hole. She tried to claw her way out of it. “I think she hit the cheek. I don’t think that was on the lips. And from here, I don’t think Lexa even enjoyed it. I mean, did you see that face she made?”

Clarke scowled at her. “She didn’t make a face. You can’t even see that from here anyway. It’s no big deal. She’s back with Costia. She’s obviously not too broken up over me.” Clarke was getting annoyed, for no reason. It was either get annoyed or curl up on the bench and cry. And that was not going to happen. “It’s fine. We weren’t even really together. I mean, we only spent that one day together.”

“Eighteen hours wasn’t it?”

“Exactly. Wasn’t even a full day,” Clarke said, puffing herself up with a false swagger.

“Nope, not even a full day. Barely half a day.”

Clarke’s bluster evaporated that quickly. “It was more than half a day,” she said, dejectedly. “It was really closer to a whole day.” Clarke blinked away the sudden moisture in her eyes. Images of making love with Lexa flooded her brain like an unstoppable high tide. _Well, she’ll be making love to Costia now_. Clarke wanted to wail in pain.

Raven nodded in agreement, knowing her best friend was on an emotional roller coaster right now. “Right. Okay. More than half a day, but less than a full day. You wanna go over and say hi?” Of course, Raven regretted those words immediately. Sometimes the wrong things came out of her mouth when the situation was emotionally charged. It was like a verbal twitch.

“What? Good god, no. Can we just leave?” Clarke couldn’t stand the sight of Lexa with someone else. It was too painful. It was excruciating.

Raven twitched again. “Are you taking Oliver to the farm tomorrow for Customer Appreciation Day?”

“No! Why would I do that?” Clarke wiped quickly at a tear that had escaped. _And_ _don’t come back._ “I just wanna go home, can we please leave?”

“Sure, Clarke, let’s go.”

They got up and started to make their way back to the cars. Clarke twisted around for one last look and her lip trembled. Oliver yanked on the leash and she turned back, walking quickly away, putting as much distance as she could between herself and the woman who held her heart.

 

When they were saying their goodbyes, Costia put her arms around Lexa and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you so much for helping me. I’m glad we can be friends, because I do miss you.”

“Yeah, me too. Hey, we’re having Customer Appreciation Day back at the farm tomorrow if you wanna stop by with Max. They’ll be food and prizes and stuff.”

“Okay, maybe I will. I’ll text you if I’m coming.” She looked down at her dog. “Say goodbye, Max.”

Lexa gave him the hand command to sit and he did. She gave him a pat on the head and a “Good boy.”

“Oh my god. I’m gonna hire you.”

“You don’t have to hire me, we’ll work with him next week, too.”

“Thanks Lexa. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then?”

“Sure.” Lexa watched her walk off with Max in tow. She felt a tingle on the back of her neck and looked up towards the jogging path, sensing someone was there. After searching for a few seconds, she shrugged her shoulders and headed to the car.

 

* * *

 

The weather for Sunday was gorgeous. Business was booming at the farm as a mass of people milled about the parking lot. Jasper volunteered to man the barbie. Because, why not? He was the maestro after all. They had a long table set up next to him with plates, utensils and napkins. All sorts of side dishes were spread out. Then there was another table on the other side of him with condiments and drinks.

Lexa came over and slapped him on the back. “How’s it going, boss?”

“Fine. Burgers are almost done, I need some buns, so I sent Aden to find them.” Jasper studied Lexa’s face. “How you doing?”

Lexa tried to smile. She tried so hard. “I’m okay.”

“I think we’re overdue for a dinner, aren’t we? Why don’t you come over this week?”

Lexa shuddered, envisioning another difficult situation with the specter of Clarke hanging over her. But she needed to get over it. “Sure, I’ll bring the brownies.” She felt arms wrap around her from behind.

“Hey girl, how you holding up?” Maya asked.

Lexa patted the arms around her stomach. “I’m holding up. I’ll be fine.” She loved her friends, but they all seemed to be tip toeing around her. Afraid the wrong word or action would set her off.

“Lexa is coming over for dinner this week,” Jasper said.

Maya gave her a squeeze. “Oh, excellent.”

“Hey honey? Go find Aden. I sent him off for hamburger buns a while ago.”

“I’ll go find him.” Maya released Lexa and went in search of her son.

 A few minutes later, O and Raven showed up, canines in tow. “Yo Lex! What do you want me to do with these monsters?”

“Here, let me put them in the yard.” Lexa took both dogs over towards the play yard.

Raven stood and watched, sulking. “She looks like shit. Clarke looks like shit. I’m not shitting. Everything is shit! They were perfect together.”

Octavia put an arm around Raven and squeezed. “I know sweetie.”

“Why did it have to go so wrong?”

“I don’t know babe. Sometimes life sucks. I’m gonna go get a drink, you want anything?”

“Grab me a beer, babe.”

“I don’t think it’s that kind of barbecue,” O said.

“Fucking great.”

“I’ll bring you back a water or something.”

“Whoopty fucking do.”

Octavia walked away shaking her head, wondering if Clarke and Lexa were as depressed as her girl.

Raven looked up and saw Aden with Joffrey. “Could my life get any worse?” she mumbled, staring at her paintball adversary across the way. And her life could get worse because both boys saw her and waved. Joffrey shot an imaginary gun at her. She took a quick look around to see where O was at, then flipped him the bird.

The boys laughed and started to walk over.

“What are you two losers doing?” Raven asked when they stood in front of her.

“You’re the loser,” Joffrey said.

Raven was instantly transported back to fifth grade. “No I’m not. Shut up. Lannister Loser.”

“I got you every time at paintball, loser.”

“You might’ve gotten me, but your team lost. To a bunch of girls, loser.” Raven pushed her index finger into the boy’s shoulder, who grabbed her arm and tried to put her in a headlock.

While they were wrestling and arguing over who was the biggest loser, Aden tugged on Raven’s shirt and pointed.

Raven stopped long enough to take a look and see Costia arrive, kissing Lexa on the cheek. She patted Joff’s arm asking for release. “What the fuck is she doing here?”

Both boys giggled at her profanity.

“They used to date,” Aden said.

Lexa was now smiling at Costia, who smiled back. They were looking a little too cozy for Raven’s liking. “I know that. But why is she here now? First yesterday, now this? Not good.”

Aden shrugged his shoulders, as his face drooped. “I miss Clarke.”

“I miss Clexa,” Raven countered.

“I miss shooting you up in paintball,” Joff said.

“Very funny, loser. What are we gonna do about this, boys?”

“What do you mean?” Aden asked.

“Those two can’t get back together. No way.”

Aden was still mopey. “Lexa’s been so sad since she doesn’t see Clarke anymore.”

“Well, that’s just it. We gotta get Clarke and Lexa back together somehow. But right now? This,” she pointed at Costia and Lexa, who were cooing over Costia’s dog, “can’t happen.”

Aden looked up at her. “What are we gonna do?”

“Did you ever see the movie, _The Parent Trap_?”

Both boys shook their heads.

“Never mind. Look, we’ve gotta keep them apart. Got it?”

“I’m hungry,” Joff said.

“Shut up. Bring it in.” The three of them huddled together and started scheming. Well, Raven started scheming, while the boys argued about which video game was the best. She grabbed them both by the back of the neck. “Yo. Pay attention. Who wants to make fifty bucks?”

 

On her way to get drinks, O ran into Maya and hugged her hello. “How you been girl?”

“I'm good. How about you guys?”

“Hanging in, hanging in. Raven’s been depressed since the Clexa breakup.”

“Aden is down too. He loves Clarke.”

O squinted off in the distance. “Is that Joffrey?”

“Yeah, he's staying with us this weekend.”

“Well that'll make Raven’s day.”

“I think Joff actually has a crush on her.”

“Who? Raven?”

“Yep. He's always talking about her.”

“Really.”

Maya nodded.  

Octavia grinned. “That's funny. Oh god, is she trying to wrestle him again?”

“He’s probably loving that.”

Octavia noticed that the threesome’s attention was riveted on someone or something across the parking lot. “Oh shit, isn’t that Costia?”

Maya turned her head to look in the direction of O’s eyes. “Yeah.” Maya could barely hide her disappointment. “Lexa’s helping her with her dog. At least that’s what she told me, anyway.”

“Great, that’s gonna really push Raven over the edge. All she wants is Clexa back together.”

“Well, we all wish that would happen. But you know what they say, if wishes were horses…” Maya’s voice trailed off.

“Raven has an irrational fear of horses.”

Maya nodded, making a mental note not to use that particular analogy around Raven.

 

Lexa and Costia walked Max over to the yard. Lexa called Ontari over to get the dog and keep an eye on him. “You want something to eat?”

Costia smiled. “Sure, I’m starving.”

Both women walked over towards Jasper. Before they could reach the tables, Aden was there grabbing Lexa’s hand. He signed excitedly. “Whoa buddy, talk and sign. And say hi to Costia, please.”

Aden took a deep breath before signing and speaking. “Hi Costia,” he said quickly

“Hi Aden, it’s good to see you again.”

He turned his attention back to Lexa. “I need to look for a gift in the store. I met a girl at school and she has a new kitten, and I wanna get her something.”

Lexa took a quick peek at Costia. “Right now? Can’t it wait ‘til later?”

“No, it has to be right now.”

Lexa caught Costia’s eye again and shrugged.

Costia nodded. “Go ahead. I’ll just grab a burger and hang out here.”

“You sure?”  
  
“Yes, go.”

“Okay, let’s go buddy. And who’s this new girl?” Lexa was worried that she had missed something the last few weeks while feeling sorry for herself. He pulled her towards the store, describing his new girlfriend.

Raven and Joffrey looked on, Raven nodding her head in approval. “Excellent work. You’re up.” Joff took off towards the smoking barbecue.

Costia joined the food line, waiting her turn to get a burger. She grabbed a plate and stepped up to Jasper. “Hi Jasper.”

Jasper was caught off guard and the burger that was on the spatula fell back onto the grill. “Oh hey, you.” He had a senior moment and forgot her name.

“Costia.”

“Right Costia, I knew that, sorry. How are you?”

“I’m good. How’s Maya?”

“She’s good. She’s around here somewhere.” He placed the burger into a bun and onto her plate. “Enjoy.”

“Thank you.”

 

Octavia sidled up to Raven, looking sideways at her while handing her a water. “You have quite the look of determination on your face.”

“Operation Popcorn, phase two.”

“Oh god, what did you do?”

Octavia followed Raven’s eyes to the food table. Joff was on the opposite side of the table from Costia, who was putting some fixin’s on her burger. He grabbed the ketchup, gave it a good shake and promptly sent a spray all over the front of Costia’s shirt.

An evil grin spread across Raven’s face.

Octavia groaned. “Did you put him up to that?”

“Maybe.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Yes, I did. I enlisted both of them.”

“So, you enlisted a couple of obsequious henchmen to do your bidding.”

“Henchboys.” Raven corrected. She high fived her girl. “WOTD. Good one.”

Octavia acknowledged the compliment with a slight nod of her head. “I still can’t believe you did that.”

Raven defended her choices. “Somebody had to do something. We can’t have Costia and Lexa getting back together.”

“And you think squirting ketchup on Costia’s shirt will prevent that.”

“You’ll see, just watch. And the beauty of my plan will be revealed.”

They watched as Lexa returned from the store. Aden on her heels with a shopping bag in his hand. They all went to Costia, fussing over her white shirt, wiping at it with napkins. The red stain just kept getting bigger. Lexa grabbed her hand and pointed over to the cottage. Costia nodded at whatever was suggested, and hand in hand they walked right past O and Raven and into the cottage.

Octavia crossed her arms. “Hm. Is that the result you were hoping for? To get them alone in Lexa’s house getting undressed?”

Raven’s facial expression gave nothing away. “I may have been hoping for a different result.”

Both boys came over to Raven. Joffrey’s grin was wide as he put his hand out looking for payment. “Just like paintball,” he bragged. “Easy as pie!” Aden affectionately punched him in agreement.

Raven gave them a stern look and a quick shake of her head. “Later,” she mumbled out of the side of her mouth. She shooed them away and they ran off to play with the dogs.

“Did you promise to pay them for this little escapade?” O asked, exasperated at the shenanigans of her girl.

“Maybe.”

“Jesus Christ, Rae.”

“Hi, Raven!” Maya called out excitedly. She hugged her former partner in crime. “How’s it going?”

Raven’s lips pressed together. “Not good.”

“Raven’s little plan backfired,” O explained.

Maya was confused. “What plan?”

“Well, Raven and her obsequious henchboys tried to take matters into their own hands.”

Octavia hung a hand in the air and Maya smacked it. “Wow. I’ll have to look that one up later,” she murmured.

O continued, “She thought getting Joffrey to spray ketchup on Costia’s shirt would send her home.”

“Oh. What happened?”

“They’re both in the cottage, probably getting it on as we speak.”

Raven was horrified. “Babe!”

“I’m just kidding. I’m sure nothing’s going on in there.”

Just then Costia and Lexa emerged from the cottage, Costia sporting one of Lexa’s T-shirts.

O nudged Raven. “See?”

Just then, Costia put an arm around Lexa’s shoulder, speaking into Lexa’s ear, like she had a precious secret to share.

Raven glared at the sight, then glared at her girlfriend.

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

Costia and Lexa separated, Costia heading over to the food while Lexa chatted up some of her clients. Lexa’s body language was telling. Her head was bent, shoulders slightly slumped, her feet shuffling along. As she interacted with customers, her smile never reached her eyes.

“I hate to see her like this,” Maya said, nodding her head in the direction of Lexa. “How’s Clarke been?”  
  
“God damn miserable,” Raven said. “Idiots. They should be together. I miss my fucking popcorn.”

Maya patted her arm in sympathy.

O kissed Raven on the cheek and wrapped her up in a big hug. “Babe, we’ll all get through this. I promise. Why don’t I go get you some food? Maybe you’ll feel a little better if you eat.”

Raven nodded glumly. O glanced at Maya with a _I told you she was taking this hard_ look and went to get Raven a hamburger.

“How’s Clarke been feeling, pregnancy wise?” Maya asked Raven after Octavia left.

“She seems okay. She had an ultrasound the other day.”

“She’s not that far along. Is she?”

“No, her mom wanted her to get one. They didn’t hear the baby’s heartbeat.”

Maya nodded. “That happened to me when I was pregnant with Aden. I had an early ultrasound because I was spotting. My doctor told me that sometimes the position of the baby is such that you can’t hear anything. I had another one at ten weeks and everything was fine.”

“Yeah, she didn’t seem too concerned.”

Maya sighed. “You know, I never saw Lexa as happy as she was at paintball that day.”

“Operation Popcorn has gone down in flames. I thought we had it.”

“I know. I did, too. Maybe someday.”

“Someday. Like when?”

“I don’t know. Maybe someday they’ll find their way back to each other.” Maya put an arm around Raven’s shoulders and tried to be the voice of reason. “I can understand why Clarke did what she did,” she said, being the only mother in the group. “They really haven’t known each other that long. It’s scary enough to have a baby, and combine that with trying to navigate through a brand new relationship? That’s tough.” She gave Raven a little shake. “She’s only thinking about her baby right now.”

“She doesn’t love him.”

“She loves him enough to try. For the baby.”

“But they’re not in love! Is that fair to the kid? To be stuck with two parents who aren’t in love?”

“People do it all the time, Raven. Trust me.”

Raven’s shoulders sagged in defeat. She scuffed her toe in the dirt. Not only was Clexa not happening, but she was out a hundred bucks.

“They’re our friends, and we love them. And right now, they both need our support, right?” Maya shook Raven again. “Now, c’mon. Let’s go find O and get you that burger.”

 

* * *

 

“Did you guys set the date yet?” Clarke asked Monty as they walked into the surgeon’s lounge a week later.

“We’re looking at next July.”

“Cool.” Clarke went to the Keurig to get a cup of coffee. After filling up a mug, she turned and leaned against the counter, tilting her head back to release the tension in her neck.

“You look tired Clarke. How’ve you been feeling?”

Clarke patted her belly. She was nine weeks pregnant. “Baby growing kicks your ass. I’ve been exhausted all week.”

“You guys pick out names yet?”

“No. We’ll wait until after the first trimester before we do that.” Clarke had been getting intermittent pain in her lower belly for the last twenty minutes. She rubbed at it now, wondering if it was something she ate for breakfast. Probably all that hot sauce she put on the omelet.

Monty looked up from his post-surgery report. “You okay?”

Clarke bit her lip. “I think so. My lower belly hurts. It started a little while ago, but it’s getting worse now.” She groaned and grabbed at her abdomen again.

“Is it morning sickness? Are you gonna throw up?”

“No. I don’t think so. I haven’t felt sick for a few days now. And it doesn’t feel like that. It feels crampy. Maybe it’s gas.”

Monty led her over to the couch. “Have you been spotting?”

“A little bit, the last few days, yeah. But it was really light.” Pain shot through her and she bent over at the waist. “Ow. Fuck.” The pain was getting worse by the minute and Clarke started to get worried. “Shit, I’ll be right back.” She headed to the bathroom.

“Okay, call if you need me.”

Clarke went into the bathroom and shut the door. She used the toilet and peeked into the bowl. There was a lot of blood there, more than there should be. And it was a deep red, not the brown of normal spotting. Oh fuck. Oh fuck, she thought. She tried to remember when her last bout of morning sickness was. God, was it four days ago? And her breasts were no longer sore. Oh god no, this cannot be happening, not after all the heartache of the past few weeks. Not after all the mental anguish. Not after losing Lexa. At the thought of Lexa, Clarke’s heart stuttered. The pain seemed to be everywhere, searing her insides. She came back out of the bathroom, her face pale as a ghost, tears streaming down her face.

Monty grabbed Clarke as she stumbled back into the room. “Clarke, what’s wrong?”

She sobbed into his shoulder as he helped her to the couch. “Get me to four, Monty,” was all she could manage. The fourth floor was obstetrics.

“I’ll get a wheelchair. Clarke, what’s going on?”

“I think I’m losing the baby,” she choked out between sobs.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've crushed souls again I'm sure. It's Saturday and I've got no funnies to tell you. So not only am I depressing the hell out of everybody, I not making you smile with a fun note. But I am watching my favorite movie, Bridesmaids, and getting my laughs there. The jordan almond. That goddamn jordan almond gets me every time.  
> Let's see. I went to Florida last month. Nothing funny there. Oh, the wife managed to fall off her bike. She was on the grass so it wasn't too bad. She forgot she had her foot in the stirrups of her mountain bike. I told her we all do it. (we all don't do it. I've never done it.) So when she pulled up to stop, down she went. Sprained her foot. Couldn't walk on it. We had to fly home the next day. I didn't know how she was gonna walk all thru the airport. So we get there, and viola! Right at the rental car return was a wheelchair. I put her in that and had a blast wheeling her around. And get this, we got to board first! Yes! I thought for sure they'd request a doctor's note or something. But nope! They never asked, just took my word for it. What's the lesson here? Grab a wheelchair if you're afraid there won't be enough overhead spaces for your carry-on luggage.  
> I'm kidding of course!  
> What else? Ah, so we have shutters on our front door down in Florida. We close them up for hurricane season. So I went to close them, and the wife was on the inside and she said, "Wait, there's two tree frogs on here." They were on the backside of the shutters, facing her not me. I come back into the house with a stick to try and shoo them to the outside. Of course they do the opposite and one jumps on my arm. I shrieked like a five-year-old and dropped my stick. I shook my arm and off he went into the living room. He left a wet spooge on my arm. Like, it was wet. From his sticky little feet. Gross. Now I'm trying to catch a tree frog as it hopped around the house. No worries, with my cat-like reflexes I caught that fucker in one hour and fifteen minutes.  
> Okay, that's all I got. I don't think I even wanna look at the comments.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the last angsty chapter. Thank god, right? In hindsight, I may have gone a tad bit overboard with the drama. Too much heartache, too many tears, too much pain, yada yada yada, blah blah blah, blipity blah blu. I’m sorry. Thanks for putting up with me. You all have stayed kind with the comments, and I appreciate that. Hopefully that continues after this chapter. So, take a deep breath before you read this one. Next chapter everything will be resolved. Clexa will be back together! And then the last one will be just fluffy cotton candy. That’s right. Two more left in this epic story that’s taken me over a year to write. I sure as shit didn’t think it would take this long.  
> Many thanks to Lisam, who continues to push me to be better a writer, and who always has fabulous suggestions to inspire me. Atomic Brunette helped too, thank you AB.  
> We were in Europe for the first time two weeks ago on vacay. And the greatwanheda met up with us for a day of sightseeing in Vienna. Totes fun! Second commenter I've met and hung out with since writing this story. Spent some time with Atomic Brunette a couple months ago. Love you guys!  
> Our pictures! Yes, we’re still taking pictures, at least thru the next chapter. At this point, I think that all 37 of you have sent me pics, so we have some repeat customers here, but we still love to see them.  
> Email me at cardwire1@aol.com or tumble me [here](https://lorig11.tumblr.com/).  
> 

t 

That's great wanheda leaving from Zurich to meet up with us. Then AB in Paris. She stayed at Hotel D'Angleterre, where Hemingway used to stay. Then the last one in this row is wanheda after reading the sneak peek on tumblr. That's a voodoo doll in case you were wondering. Don't think she was happy with the sneak peek. I've been voodoo'd. Too much drama for her, her young heart can't take it. My heart is older and callused.

From LisaM, Chloe sitting, then Chloe sleeping. Like I sleep. Head buried. On the flight over to Europe the airline gave us one of those things to cover your eyes, a "sleep mask." I always wanted one of those. I love it. I wear it around sometimes just because. The bumping into things and tripping over pets is a small price to pay to look cool. Maybe Chloe needs one. Last pic is LisaM's kitty Chance, who evidently has his own car seat. Every pet should have their own car seat. I once had a pug and a convertible. One time, I had said pug in the front seat unattached and the top down. When I pulled into the driveway of the house he just jumped out while the car was moving. He skinned his chin. Had he been in a car seat, this would not have happened.

From Calamity Clexa Fan, her kitties Monkey and Mischief,  what cuties! Watching Clarke, let's see, that's not this season. Looks to be season three. Our silly pug is Quincy, from E and the dog ranch. Again with the pugs! Can't help it, I love them! I'll have to post a pic of our pug next time, who is no longer with us, but he was super adorbs. Of course I say that now posthumously, cause he was a dorper when he was alive. So bad! But so funny, too.

From Juliette, Bella.                              From Tobesan, Anzac and Zoe singing.               Now resting, cause singing takes a lot out of you.

This is Lisa's new friend. Two things of relevance, first, she met this fellow golfing, and second, the squirrel motif has been strong in this story.  Golf and squirrels, so apropos. Second pic from E is Louie, and of course, Banshee and her other girlfriend Bella. Has anybody noticed she's got a lot of chicks following her? And that her tongue is too long for her mouth?

 

 

 

**Chapter 25**

 

They put Clarke into an empty room on the fourth floor after the miscarriage had been confirmed. Since she was bleeding heavily, a decision was made to have a D & C instead of waiting for nature to take its course. This would also enable her to get back to work sooner. Best to keep a busy schedule. If her mind was occupied with work, then she wouldn’t have to think about what she did wrong, what she could’ve done better. Clarke wouldn’t have time to think about how she was drowning in a raging sea of guilt.

Finn had arrived shortly after Monty brought Clarke to four. He cried with her after hearing the news and tried to console her, but she just wanted to grieve in peace.

And now she was alone in the hospital recovery room. Finn had gone down to the cafeteria to get some coffee. But Clarke’s quiet didn’t last long, because Jake popped into the room and rushed over to his daughter’s bedside, reaching out to take her hand.

“Clarke, how do you feel, princess?”

Clarke balled herself up and buried her head in the pillow, seeking refuge from everything. “Awful.”

“You’ll get through this. I know things seem bleak right now. But you will.”

Clarke’s answer was a slight nod, opting to keep verbalization to a minimum.

Jake stroked a hand through her hair. “Miscarriages are not that unusual, you know that. Fifteen to twenty percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Something was wrong, and your body took care of it.”

Clarke rolled onto her back. Of course, she knew these things. But it didn’t lessen the agony of the loss. She just stared at nothing, not speaking. The one thing she wanted right now, the one thing that could make her feel a little better, was the one thing she couldn't have. Lexa’s arms around her. Clarke’s eyes pooled at the thought of Lexa and the tears flowed. They started, and she was powerless to make them stop.

Jake reached and cupped a hand to her face. “It’s okay, Clarke.” When the crying continued he was at a loss. “Do you want me to find Finn?”

Clarke shook her head, her voice soft and garbled, “I want Lexa.”

Jake was confused. “Who? Who’s Lexa, honey?”

Clarke turned away from her father and curled back up, crying harder. Jake patted her back. “Your mom’s been in surgery the past six hours, but she’ll be here soon. In fact, she might be done now, why don’t I go get her.” Jake left the room in search of Abby.

After Jake left, Clarke blew her nose and closed her eyes. She wanted Lexa to hold her, she wanted Lexa to tell her it was okay. But what she wanted would never happen. She hadn’t heard from her since the day at the cottage, when Clarke broke the pregnancy news. _And don’t come back._ Those words were tattooed on her soul.

So many losses in such a short time. Clarke wasn’t sure she’d survive them. The best thing right now was to just push everything out of her mind. There was always tomorrow to deal with all the heartache. She was suddenly overcome by exhaustion and dozed off.

 

When Clarke woke up she was surprised to see Abby sitting next to the bed holding her hand. “Mom?”

Abby reached out and cupped Clarke’s face, “Hey, honey.”

Clarke saw moisture in her eyes and tried to remember the last time her mom cried. She drew a blank. “Are you crying?”

Abby cleared her throat, choosing not to answer the obvious. “How are you?”

Clarke bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes. She shook her head.

Abby pulled the chair closer. “You’ll get through this Clarke, I know you will.”

Clarke thought about everything that happened in the last month and had doubts. “I don’t know if I will, mom.”

Abby kissed her forehead. “You will. You’re strong. You’re so strong Clarke. You will get through it.”

“How do you know?”

The sympathy and love in her mom’s eyes was also something Clarke had never seen before. The cool facade had crumbled and before her was a woman who looked as shattered as Clarke felt.

“Because I had one...before you.”

Clarke’s eyes widened at this new information. “You had a miscarriage?”

Abby just nodded as a few drops escaped from her eyes.

“You never told me.”

“It’s not something that comes up in general conversation.”

“How far along were you?”

“Eleven weeks.”

“Oh god, mom. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay honey. It was a long time ago.” Abby caressed Clarke’s cheek. “They told me I wouldn’t be able to conceive again. But then I was blessed with you soon after. You were my little miracle.” Abby smiled through the tears. “You’ll be able to try again. I promise.”

“I feel like I did something wrong, mom.” And just like that, Clarke’s tears started anew.

“Shh. Don’t say that baby.” Abby pushed back a strand of hair that was in Clarke’s eyes. “You know you didn’t.”

Clarke knew all the medical reasons behind miscarriages. Something had been wrong with the baby. She wouldn’t call it a fetus, because it was her _child_.  Most likely a chromosomal abnormality. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a punishment. For all the people she hurt. For hurting Niylah. For hurting Finn and for hurting Lexa. Clarke didn’t deserve to be happy. She didn’t deserve a baby. “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”

“Guilt is normal after a miscarriage. But it’s not your fault. Believe me. In time you’ll realize that. You’ll grieve, and you’ll hurt. But you’ll get better. A little bit every day.”

Clarke grabbed several tissues from the box next to the bed, handing one to Abby. “Did you feel guilty?”

“Of course, I did.” Abby dabbed at her cheeks. “My mother and father blamed me. They blamed my work schedule. They said I should’ve stopped working and stayed home.”

“They blamed you?” Clarke’s grandparents weren’t the warmest and fuzziest of people. Her grandfather especially could be a bit cold-hearted. She could not even imagine how incredibly agonizing it would be right now if anybody else blamed her for this loss. Self-blame she could handle. But if someone else pointed the finger at her right now, Clarke would be destroyed.

Abby nodded. “I was depressed for months. Nobody understood. They didn’t understand that I never got to hold my baby. Your father included. Men tend to handle these things differently.”

Clarke had a new appreciation for her mother’s strength. “Dad didn’t understand?”

Abby shook her head.

“Did you go back to work right away?”

“I did. I needed to lose myself in work. At least I tried. You’d be surprised at how many things remind you of babies. I’d see other pregnant women and wonder why it happened to me. Why did I lose _my_ baby? Children running around playing were especially painful.”

“God mom. I’m so sorry.” This new Abby took Clarke by surprise. This Abby who hurt. Who had been wounded. Who was right now crying with Clarke. For the first time in her life, Clarke felt connected with her mother. And she wondered if this new connection between them, albeit painful, would last. Clarke pressed her forehead into Abby’s. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered again.

Abby sighed, her thumb wiping away one of Clarke’s tears. “I’m the one who should be sorry,” she murmured. “I’ve always pushed you so hard. I think I wanted your life to be perfect. The perfect job, the perfect husband. I wanted you to be perfect. I put too much pressure on you. My god, I forced you into medicine. I gave you a stethoscope when you were six.” Abby shook her head. “This is all probably my fault.”

Clarke couldn’t let her mom take the fall for this, no matter how much they had clashed in the past. “It’s not your fault.”

Abby kissed Clarke’s hand. “I wish I could make all this pain go away.”

“I don’t know where to go from here, mom. I feel so lost.”

“You take it one day at a time, baby. One day at a time.”

When Finn walked in fifteen minutes later, they were in the same position. “Oh, sorry. You guys all right?”

Abby pulled back from Clarke, stood up, and wiped her eyes. She gave Finn a hug. “Finn. I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, Abby.”

“Now get our girl home. She’s gonna need a lot of love and care, okay?”

Finn solemnly nodded.

“Clarke, I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay mom. Thanks. I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

Finn watched with questioning eyes as Abby walked out of the room. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your mom look so...soft.”

“Me neither, to be honest.” Clarke sat up with Finn’s help.

“You feel strong enough to go home?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll get a wheelchair then.”

On the drive home, neither spoke. Each lost in their own thoughts. When they got into the house, Finn got Clarke settled on the couch with a pillow and blanket. Oliver bounded up and curled up behind her legs. Jinx jumped up on the arm of the couch and purred contentedly while kneading Clarke’s hair. “Are you hungry at all?”

Clarke numbly shook her head.

“I’ll get you some water.” Finn fetched Clarke a bottle of water and placed it on the coffee table in front of her He took a seat in the chair next to the sofa. “Clarke, I know this might not be the best time. But I want you to know, that I still love you so much. And I know the last few weeks we didn’t really talk about our future, but I still wanna take care of you. I still wanna marry you. If you’ll have me.”

Clarke was in no mood to think about the future, but instead of lashing out, she just quietly said, “Thank you.” He was hurting, too.

“And if we get married, we can try again. When you’re ready.”

“We’ll see,” Clarke mumbled.

“Okay. Do you want the TV on?”

“Sure.”

Finn got up and turned the television on then headed into the kitchen to make something to eat, leaving Clarke to wrestle with her torturous thoughts. She felt so alone. Like she was the only one left on earth. No love. No baby. No Lexa. Finn was all she had left. Was she ready to lose him, too?

 

* * *

Almost three weeks had passed since the miscarriage. Clarke had started back at the hospital this past week, happy to get back into a routine. Friday night she had worked the overnight shift, came home, slept for a few hours, and was now relaxing in the sun room Saturday afternoon. Jinx was in her lap and Clarke was reading a book on the iPad. Well, trying to read a book. She kept having to re-read the same page over and over because her mind couldn’t focus. Finn was home today. She knew he was just trying to be there for her, but it was suffocating. Every half hour he poked his head into the room asking if she was okay. When Clarke would nod, he would smile and go back to whatever house project he was working on.

The doorbell rang, and Oliver started barking. Then there were voices, and soon Finn was calling out to her. Clarke got up to see who it could be. Upon entering the living room, she was pleasantly surprised to see the Jordan’s. Maya, Jasper and Aden were standing in the foyer.

“Oh my god. Hi guys,” Clarke said. They had sent a sympathy card a couple of weeks ago and asked if they could visit soon, but Clarke hadn’t gotten back to them. So here they were. Another card came in the mail that day, too.

Maya rushed over to give Clarke a hug and a kiss. “We’ve been wanting to stop over and see you. I hope it’s okay.”

“I know. I did get your card. I just haven’t felt very good. But I’m doing a little better and I’m really happy to see you guys.”

Jasper hugged her, too and produced a huge bouquet of daisies that he had behind his back. “These are for you.”

“My goodness, daisies! My favorite, thank you so much.”

Aden wrapped an arm around her waist and smiled up at her. “Hi Clarke!” He handed her a covered dish. “I made you brownies.”

Brownies. The last time Clarke had brownies was at the Jordan’s. Lexa’s brownies. Hold it together she told herself. You can’t lose your shit every time you hear the word brownie. “Hey buddy! My goodness, that is the sweetest thing ever, thank you so much.”

Everyone went into the living room and sat down.

“What can I get you to drink?” Finn asked.

“Water is fine,” Maya said.

Jasper and Aden nodded in agreement.

Finn took the brownies and headed to the kitchen to get everyone some water.

Maya sat next to Clarke on the couch and reached out to take her hand. “We’re so sorry Clarke. How are you?”

Clarke’s lips pressed together. “I’m hanging in there. And thank you so much for the card.”

“You’re welcome.”

Jasper’s eyes were full of sympathy. “I think you need to come to dinner. I’m going to make you my special burgers.”

Finn returned from the kitchen and handed out the water bottles. “Did I hear someone say special burgers?”

Jasper smiled. “Yep. I make a mean burger. You both should come over next week.”

Finn glanced at Clarke. “Sounds good to me. I don’t have any late nights next week.”

Clarke nodded. “That sounds great. Maybe Tuesday?”

Jasper and Maya agreed, and they made a date for Tuesday dinner. Then they spent the next half hour making small talk as the Jordan’s tried to make Clarke laugh with all sorts of funny, family mishaps.

When the conversation slowed, Clarke jumped to her feet. “Hey, you know what? I think I want a brownie. Who wants one of Aden’s brownies?”

“Sounds great,” Jasper said.

Maya and Finn agreed. “Yeah!”  

Clarke held up a finger. “And we have ice cream. I always say there’s nothing better than brownies and ice cream. Aden, you wanna come help?”

Aden was sitting on the floor with Oliver watching Clarke speak. “Sure.” He popped to his feet.

Clarke and Aden went into the kitchen. Clarke got out plates and Aden put a brownie on each one.

“These look delicious, buddy. Thank you. Hey, what’s the sign for thank you. It’s something simple, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It’s just this.” Aden put his hand to his mouth, almost touching his fingers to his lips, and moved his hand down towards Clarke. “Thank you.”

Clarke imitated his movement, “Thank you. Was that it?”

Aden grinned. “Yep.”

“Cool. You can teach me a new word every time we hang out, okay?” Clarke got out the ice cream and the ice cream scoop. “Here, you can put the ice cream on the brownies.”

“Okay.”

“That’s a great jersey by the way,” Clarke said, admiring Aden’s Seattle Seahawks jersey. “Is that new?”

“Yeah. I just got it at the preseason game Thursday night.”

“You went to the game? Wow. I thought those tickets were hard to get. Who did you go with, your dad?”

“I went with Lex and Costia.”

Clarke’s chest tightened, and her knees wobbled. She grabbed the countertop to steady herself.

“Are you okay, Clarke?”

Poor Aden. He had no idea how much agony his words caused. “Yes, yes, I’m good.” Clarke raked a hand through her hair and sucked in some much-needed air. “So, Costia went?”

“Yeah.” Aden was busy scooping out ice cream and plopping it on the brownies. “She’s not so bad. But don’t worry Clarke, I still love you best,” he grinned.

“Thanks buddy.” Clarke had no idea why she chose to torture herself with the next question. Glutton for punishment she supposed.  “Do they hang out a lot?”

“Who?”

“Lexa and Costia.”

“I guess so. They were both over to dinner last week. Then Costia went to the Seahawks game with us. She has a new dog, Max. He’s funny. I like him. We took him for a walk a couple of weeks ago. And she brought him to my soccer game, too.”

Clarke gnashed her teeth. Costia was probably the third shadow that night at Lexa’s cottage. Jesus Christ, were they spending every waking moment together? Were they living together now? Obviously, Clarke had ceased to exist in Lexa’s world. Obviously, Clarke meant _nothing_ to her.

She knew these thoughts were ridiculous, that she had no right to be mad. She had no right to feel betrayed. But Clarke was only human. And humans were nothing if not seriously flawed creatures. Lexa was back with Costia. Maybe now that Clarke wasn’t in the picture, stronger feelings were developing between them. Maybe Lexa was falling in love with Costia.

“Clarke are you sure you’re okay?”

Aden’s sweet voice pulled Clarke back from the abyss. “Yes! I’m fine. Can you help me carry these out to everyone, buddy?”

“Sure. I want the big piece.”

“It’s got your name written all over it.”

Aden smiled and rushed into the living room and Clarke slowly followed.

The Jordan’s stayed for another hour. The conversation steered clear of the miscarriage and there were no other mentions of Lexa, which Clarke was thankful for. They confirmed the dinner plans for Tuesday and said their goodbyes. Finn and Clarke waved from the doorway as they pulled out of the driveway.

Finn put his arm around Clarke. “They are so nice.”

For once Clarke didn’t feel like shrugging it off. In fact, she leaned into him, needing his steadying force to keep her upright, both physically and emotionally. “Yeah, they are so sweet.”

“That could be us someday. A couple kids running around. Just one big happy family.”

Clarke was too numb to respond. Finn squeezed her and they both went back inside.

After the Jordan’s left, Clarke wandered up to the guest room, and closed the door, but not before Oliver bounded in after her. He’d been sleeping in the spare bedroom with her regularly since the miscarriage. Clarke opened the top drawer of the nightstand and took out the other card that came in the mail. The one from Lexa. She sat on the floor and pulled Oliver onto her lap. A handwritten note was inside the card.

_Clarke, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you lost the baby.  I can't even imagine the pain you must feel right now. I'm sure someday when you're emotionally healed you will be able to try again. Please take care,_

_Lexa_

Clarke stared at the handwriting as she fingered the paper. Not “Love, Lexa.” Just Lexa. Not even “Sincerely, Lexa.”

When she first opened it a couple of weeks ago, she tried to read between the lines. Surely somewhere in there was an invitation for Clarke to come back so _they_ could try again. She tried squinting. But she couldn't turn the words on the paper into the words in her heart. So, then she had cried for an hour. Cried from heartache and disappointment. Disappointment because Clarke wanted more than a card. She had foolishly hoped for a visit. But she realized that Lexa was certainly not going to show up full of consolations and apologies. And it crushed her soul. But that hadn’t stopped Clarke from fantasizing about just that. Lexa knocking on her door, sweeping Clarke into her arms. Dragging her off on the motorcycle. But fantasies weren’t realities, and it was time to let them go. Lexa was with Costia.

“Why didn’t I give her a chance, Oliver? Why was I so scared?” Clarke buried her face into his fur.

All Ollie offered up was a wet tongue to the cheek.

Clarke thought of Lexa and Aden, and how wonderful Lexa was with him. “She would’ve been a great mom.” Tears threatened, and Clarke drew in a deep breath. No more crying. Lexa had moved on.

Clarke took the note, balled it up and threw it towards the trash can in the corner of the room. It clanked off the rim and bounced onto the floor. Evidently that nothing-but-net prowess was a one-day wonder. The one day she was on top of the world. The last day she kissed Lexa.

After a few minutes, Clarke stood and walked across the room, picking the note up off the floor. She re-read it, smoothed out the creases, folded it in half, and put it with the card in the drawer underneath Lexa’s borrowed sweatpants. Which were next to the folded T-shirt she still wore constantly. And Clarke had no intention of returning either item. They were the last connection to a happiness that she may never experience again. A gal was allowed a little sentimentality, after all.

 

* * *

Later that night, Lexa drained a fourth beer and called the waitress over to order another. Costia, Anya, and Luna sat around the table with her. It was Saturday night and they were at the bar. She was reverse celebrating. It was officially eight weeks since Clarke left. Give or take a day or two. Or three. Reverse celebrating was not an exact science.

The waitress came over and took Lexa’s drink order.

Anya raised her eyebrows. “How many is that?”

Lexa shrugged. “I lost count.”

“That’s gonna be your fifth,” Luna observed. “You better call an Uber.”

Costia spoke up, “No, I drove us here. We’ll get home okay.”

Lexa nodded. “What she said.” She knew five was too many. She could feel her head swimming. Sloshing really. She rarely drank anymore. Not this much. Not since college. Lexa felt like she was due for a nice hangover though, what with all the emotional strain in her life right now. Nothing like having your heart pulverized into a million teeny, tiny pieces to generate a little self-pity bender.

A slow song came on and Costia stood up, putting a hand out to Lexa. “C’mon you, dance with me.”

Lexa got up, took the offered hand, and headed onto the dance floor.

“I’m worried about her,” Anya said.

Luna pursed her lips. “She’ll snap out of it. Give her some time.”

“I hope so.”

“There’s Raven and O.” Luna waved at the two women, who made their way over to the table.

All four hugged hello and sat down.

“I thought Lexa was gonna be here?” Raven asked.

Anya cleared her throat and nodded in the general direction of the dance floor.

Raven spotted Lexa and Costia cozying it up in a tight embrace, swaying to the slow beat. “What the fuck is that about? Are they getting back together?”

“I didn’t think so. But. Things look a little steamier than usual,” Luna observed.

“How’s Clarke?” Anya asked.

Raven frowned. “Depressed as shit. Losing the baby hit her hard. How’s Lexa?”

“Same.”

“Fuck! They were perfect together.”

“No shit,” Anya groused.

“There’s gotta be a way to get them back together.” Raven looked hopefully at Luna. “Boss? What can we do?”

Luna wrapped an arm around Raven’s neck and pulled her close, planting one on her temple. “I don’t know what we can do. Sometimes you just have to let things play out. Sorry bud.”

Raven was crestfallen. Not the answer she wanted. “I was kinda hoping you would volunteer to kidnap them and throw them in a room together.”

“That’s a felony, dude.”

O rubbed Raven’s thigh. “All we can do is pop some popcorn and pray.”

Raven slouched in her chair, not satisfied with either suggestion. “I miss Clexa.”

 

Lexa wrapped her arms around Costia’s waist, who in turn had her arms around Lexa’s neck.

“You okay, sport?” Costia asked.

“I’m fine.”

Costia sighed and pushed her body closer to Lexa’s, hips meeting hips. Her lips whispered over Lexa’s neck.

Lexa sensed in the past week or so that Costia might be angling for a return to their previous status of friends with benefits. There’d been little signals—longing looks, glances, touches—and Lexa hadn’t stopped them or addressed them. She inhaled Costia’s perfume and tried to turn it into Clarke’s. Her olfactory nerves knew the difference, however.

Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat when Costia started to ever so slightly grind her hips into Lexa’s. The intent was clear when Lexa pulled back and gazed into Costia’s amber eyes. She knew this look, having seen it many times before. It was lust. It was an invitation. Lexa’s eyes strayed down to Costia’s lips then back up again. Now those amber eyes were twinkling with confidence.

Costia’s mouth moved in closer and Lexa didn’t stop her. She let it happen. The kiss was soft at first, feathery light. Costia pulled back and Lexa’s eyes remained close. This was okay, she thought. Clarke was gone. Why not let this happen? Maybe it would allow her to escape the pain. A short reprieve from the purgatory of the past several weeks.

Costia’s lips captured hers again, more forcefully this time. Lexa’s mouth opened and their tongues began a slow dance of rediscovery. This was good, this was what Lexa needed. She needed someone to want her again. The kiss became more heated and they broke it off at the same time.

“Let’s get out of here,” Costia said breathlessly.

Lexa nodded, afraid to speak. Afraid if she spoke she would lose the nerve to let this play out. Because _she_ _needed this_. To surrender to the moment, to feel the intense release of an orgasm. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t Clarke. Clarke didn’t want her anymore.

Costia grabbed Lexa’s hand and led her through the mass of bodies on the dance floor towards the door.

 

The whole spectacle was visible to the gang back at the table. Nobody spoke as they watched Lexa and Costia leave the bar, hand in hand. After the kiss they witnessed, there was no doubt what was going to come next.

Raven’s shoulders sagged. “Fuck.” She raised a finger to a passing waitress. “Beer please. Make that two. And a shot of tequila.”

 

Costia drove them back to Lexa’s house. At each red light, their mouths met and their tongues entwined. Costia’s free hand was resting between the top of Lexa’s legs.  And Lexa didn’t move it. _She needed this_. Blue eyes flashed somewhere in her brain, and it made her more determined to see this through.

When they got to the cottage they stumbled towards the door, kissing and groping. Lexa fumbled with the key, swaying slightly from all the alcohol. She pushed the door open, dragging Costia inside. Milo and Yogi started barking at the intruders.

“Boys stop it. It’s just me.” Milo quieted but Yogi stared at Costia and kept barking. “Yogi, hey buddy, stop barking.” Suddenly the image of Clarke being lovingly swamped by doggie kisses was front and center and Lexa’s courage wavered. No. This was good. _She needed this_.

Yogi was determined to scare away Costia, so Lexa had to put him outside. “Out, Yogi, come. Outside. You too, Milo. Go on.” She held the door open to usher the boys outside, making sure no kittens escaped. But they were probably hiding, scared by all the ruckus.

When she closed the door and turned around, Costia was instantly in her arms, lips seeking and finding. Lexa returned the kiss, moaning into it. She could do this. _She needed this_. Lexa threw everything into the kisses, they were hard and hot and desperate. She reached out and began undoing Costia’s pants. This would surely chase away the demons from the last eight weeks. This would banish Clarke forever from her mind.

But it was having the opposite effect, and Lexa waged a war within herself as she suddenly was under siege. Clarke was everywhere. Clarke on her knees pleading with Oliver, who was under the bed eating her wallet, Clarke in Lexa’s arms slow dancing at the bar, Clarke on the back of the motorcycle, breath hot on Lexa’s neck, telling her to slow down.

 _She needed this_. Lexa’s hand made it to the soft, wet sweetness between Costia’s thighs and they both shuddered. But for different reasons. One from pleasure, one from the pain. The pain of memories.

Costia’s lips sucked and licked down Lexa’s neck, as her hands slipped underneath Lexa’s shirt and under her bra, cupping her breasts and pulling on stiffened nipples.

Clarke on her lap at the golf course, so wet and ready. Clarke at paintball, smiling and laughing and gorgeous.

Lexa groaned from frustration, and Costia misread it as a groan of want. She began undoing Lexa’s pants.

Clarke on the ground, underneath her, asking if Lexa had ever been tamed. Clarke on the couch lovingly massaging Lexa’s temples. Clarke in the bathtub. Oh god, Clarke in the bathtub. And that was it. Clarke in the bathtub was the final straw of sorts.

“No. Stop.” Lexa grabbed Costia’s hand before it went any further. She couldn’t do this. Not now. She wasn’t ready. Her heart and mind belonged to Clarke. Still. “I can’t.”

Costia pulled away, a questioning look in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I just can’t. I can’t do this.” Tears welled up in Lexa’s eyes.

“Hey, Lex. It’s okay. Please tell me what’s wrong. I thought you wanted this as much as I did.”

“I thought I did, too. But I can’t. I’m so sorry.” The tears slipped out, one by one. A slow trickle down her cheeks.

Costia reached out and wiped a few of the droplets away. “Okay. It’s okay, Lex. We don’t have to do this.”

The understanding in Costia’s eyes just made Lexa feel worse and soon the waterworks were on full display as she gave in to the pain and frustration of the past eight weeks.

Costia wrapped Lexa up in a hug and rubbed her back. “Sshh. It’s okay. Talk to me Lexa.”

Lexa just shook her head and let herself be held. It felt good to be in someone’s arms. Even if they weren’t the arms of choice.

After a few minutes, Lexa was all cried out. She pulled herself out of Costia’s embrace and grabbed a tissue from the box on the end table. She blew her nose and took another to wipe her eyes. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Hey, at the very least, we _are_ friends. Tell me what’s going on.”

Lexa lifted her shoulders and let them fall back into place. “I’m in love.”

“I take it it’s not me,” Costia joked, trying to lighten the mood.

A small smile reached Lexa’s lips. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I kinda knew things were off with you. Is it Clarke?”

Lexa nodded. “But it didn’t work out. So…” A wistful sigh followed.

“I’m sorry Lex. Do you want me to stay with you? Keep you company tonight? Do you wanna talk it out?”

“No. You’ve been great. It’s probably best if I’m alone with my misery.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Thank you. For understanding. I’m really sorry.”

Costia reached out and grabbed Lexa’s hand. “Stop apologizing. I understand.” She pulled Lexa in for another hug. “I guess I’ll head home then.”

Lexa walked Costia to the car and they said their goodbyes.

After starting up the car, Costia lowered the window. “Promise me you’ll call tomorrow. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. Because it’s important to me, okay?”

“Sure. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Costia carefully backed up and turned the car around to head down the driveway.

Lexa watched the taillights disappear. As she leaned against the door jam, her thoughts wandered back to Clarke. She had heard about the miscarriage. And even though Lexa thought her heart was already in pieces, somewhere another piece broke off when she thought of Clarke and the pain she must be in. Lexa closed her eyes. Oh, how she had wanted to be there to comfort her. But that had been the irrational side of her.

The rational side said send a note. It had taken an hour to write that note. So many drafts had been crumbled and thrown out before she settled on something generic. Then she had struggled with how to sign her name. Love Lexa? Or not. She agonized over it. She chose not and regretted it the next day. Add it to the list of regrets. Right after never telling Clarke she was in love with her, that she was tamed by her, that she had been the sunshine in Lexa’s life for months, even when they bickered and bantered.

So, after the note was mailed she waited. And waited. Lexa had hoped that Clarke would call to say thank you for the card. Or better yet, would have come back and asked to try again. But Clarke never called, and she never came. Could she blame her? Lexa told her not to come back. And she didn’t put conditions on it. She just said _and don’t come back_.  

Both dogs came running and sat by her feet. She reached down to give each a pat on the head. “What do you say boys? How about a late-night movie? I’m thinking we need a comedy. C’mon. Let's go find those kittens.”

 

* * *

The following afternoon Clarke was out in the backyard combing Oliver. She brushed and brushed, creating a mountain of hair that clumped and blew around the yard. Oliver would pull away and chase his own hair, coming back to Clarke with wisps of golden fur sticking out of his mouth at comical angles. He was the clown that always managed to make Clarke laugh, even in these darkest hours.

Clarke was sporting some heavy circles under her eyes this morning. It took hours to fall asleep last night. Hours of rehashing the conversation with Aden. The minute and a half conversation. How she could analyze that short chat for hours upon hours was beyond her. But she knew this, there was no way she could go to Lexa and ask for another chance now. It wasn’t fair. Lexa deserved a chance with Costia. Who came with less complications she was sure.

Then when sleep finally came, it brought the cruelest of dreams. Lexa and Clarke at the beach. With two young children. One golden-haired little girl with devilish blue eyes and a happy-go-lucky boy with curly brown hair and an infectious laugh. And they were all so happy. And Lexa looked at Clarke with such love. All too soon the dream was over, and Clarke was waking up to the reality of losing her baby and losing the love of her life.

Before she could wander precipitously down the path of depression, Raven and Octavia burst out of the back door.

“Yo Clarkie! We brought fucking lunch!” Raven called.

Clarke had been so antisocial for the past three weeks that she hadn’t seen her besties. They chatted on the phone and texted, but that was about it. Finally, they made plans to get together today for lunch, and Clarke was looking forward to hanging out with them. This is what she needed. Some F bombing and good times with her friends.

Raven and Octavia walked onto the porch waving takeout bags. “We got Chinese. Nothing like a little MSG to perk you up,” O said triumphantly.

“And rot your insides,” Raven added.

“And cause brain damage,” O explained.

“And make you go blind,” Raven concluded.

“Well, sign me up.” Clarke went over to give them each a hug and a kiss. “Hey girlies, thanks for stopping over and bringing some poison.”

Raven opened the bags and started putting boxes on the glass top table. “How you feeling?”

“Not too bad. I think I’m getting through it. Every day is a little bit better.”

Raven looked around. “Where’s Phil?”

“Ugh. I chased him away. He’s golfing. He’s been hovering over me like a mother hen and driving me nuts. You guys wanna beer or something?”

“I will,” O said.

Raven groaned. “No.”

Clarke did a double take. “No beer for you? Since when do you turn down a beer with your Chinese food?”

“Since I’m hung the fuck over, that’s when.”

“Why are you hungover?” Clarke went into the kitchen to get beverages and plates for everyone.

“We were at the bar last night…” Octavia stopped herself from continuing, getting a warning look from Raven. Clarke was inside and didn’t notice.

“You got hammered at the bar?” Clarke asked, coming back out and setting the table, placing a bottle of water in front of Raven.

Raven shrugged and tried to change the subject. “Guess how we spent our Saturday?”

Everyone dug into the various boxes and doled out food onto their plates.

“Pass me the egg rolls please,” O said.

Clarke passed O the egg rolls and a cup of lo mein. “Uh...I don’t know. How did you spend your Saturday?”

Raven took a quick swig of water. “My girl here worked a little overtime yesterday. And I went up to have lunch with her and the kiddos.”

“Oh yeah, how did that go?” Clarke was struggling to get the chopsticks working. Never quite mastering the skill as a noodle slipped onto the patio. “Shit. Oliver come here boy.” Oliver was only too happy to oblige, and he scooped the noodle up and waited for more.

“It went good. Those kids are nuts. I don’t know how parents do it, or why they’d wanna do it…” Raven realized too late how Clarke might be affected by the conversation. “Oh, shit Clarke, I’m sorry, how fucking insensitive can I be, let’s talk about something else.”

“No, no, you don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. No way, don’t do it. Please. What did the kids do to you?”

Since Raven got the green light she continued the story. “Well, my girl here says she’s gotta go to the store to get something—”

“Milk. It wasn’t something stupid. I can hear you implying it was something stupid.”

“Okay, milk, they ran out of milk, how the hell does a house with three kids run out of milk, I’ll never know—”

“Jon Jon spilled half a gallon before you got there.”

“Okay, spilt milk, I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere. So, she leaves, and I’m stuck with three kids staring at me. I’m sitting at the kitchen table, and they’re sitting across from me, and the oldest one starts grilling me, who are you, how do you know Octavia, where do you work, and it went on and on. They were Uncle Bucking me for Christ’s sake. I was waiting for Jon Jon to shine his ninja turtle flashlight in my face.”

“Uncle Fucking you?” Clarke asked.

“Uncle Buck, Clarke, Uncle Buck. Old time movie with John Candy.”

“My god. We were like, what, four or five when that movie came out.”

“It’s a funny movie Clarke.”

“Did you watch it from your high chair? Or your booster seat.”

“Very funny, Clarke.”

For the first time in a while Clarke felt a little lighter inside. “So, what did you say to the kids?”

“I wanted to say mind your own fucking business, but I exercised some self-control.”

O giggled. “Thank god for that, Ken and Barbie would have a meltdown if one of those kids dropped the F bomb while they were getting tucked in.”

“Their names are Ken and Barbie?” Clarke asked. “Why don’t I remember that?”

“No, Rae calls them that.”

“They’re fucking perfect looking. Like dolls,” Raven explained. “I just wanna punch their faces.”

“They’re really nice, and they pay me well, so please don’t punch them out.”

“So, what did you say to the kids? Did you tell them that you were Octavia’s lesbian lover?” Clarke asked Raven.

“I should have, right? Blown the doors off their tiny little minds. Tuck-in time would’ve been really interesting then.” Raven tried using the chopsticks, which was an exercise in futility for her. “Fuckers.” She tossed them across the yard and grabbed a fork. Oliver chased the sticks and sat down to chew them up. “I should have told them about our latest escapade in the bedroom, right babe?”

Octavia's eyes widened at the thought. “That would’ve done more than blow the doors off.”

“Oh god, what did you two do now?”

“Well, O here finally figured out the dildo.”  
  
O smiled proudly. “I’ve been practicing. I—”

Clarke made a face and put both hands in the air. “Wait a sec. You got that thing months ago. You’re only now figuring it out?”

“Oh no. Roscoe ate that one,” O said.

Raven nodded. “Yeah, like a week after my birthday.”

“Some peanut butter got on it,” O explained.

“How does that happen?” Clarke asked.

“O was wearing it around the house, and I had a jar of peanut butter out, just eating it with a spoon, you know?”

“Oh god.”

“And it was like the old Reese’s Peanut Butter commercial, you know the one, ‘you’ve got peanut butter on my chocolate, you’ve got chocolate on my peanut butter.’ Only it was a dildo and not chocolate.”

O laughed at the analogy. “So, I took it off and I must not have cleaned it all the way. Next morning, nothing but pieces.”

“So, we ordered a new one a month ago. And O had to learn all over again. Cause I was not letting her near me until she acquired some skills. Talk about bruised and battered.”

Clarke waved a chopstick. “Stop! This is some serious TMI.”

Raven acquiesced. “Okay, okay. Well, anyways, it was a success. If you know what I mean.”

“I found the right hole this time,” O proudly exclaimed.

“Really, I don’t need to hear this,” Clarke stated.

“And your hip action was much smoother too, babe.” Raven turned to Clarke, “She gets too frisky and Diddy comes all the way out. And then she’s lost her mojo and Diddy’s lost his way.”

“Diddy?”

“The dildo.”

“Oh.” Clarke raised her brows. “You named it. So, why did you get plastered at the bar last night?”

Raven was caught off guard and blurted out, “Damn Lexa and Costia…” She shoved a large forkful of sesame chicken into her mouth.

Octavia’s eyes bugged out of her head.

Clarke’s chopsticks stopped halfway to her mouth.

Raven chewed her food, oblivious to the facial expressions around the table. It took a moment for her outburst to sink in.

“What about them?” Clarke asked.

Raven squirmed in her chair. “Nothing.”

“Rave, what about them?

“Nothing Clarke. Just forget I said anything.”

“No, you can’t do that. You don’t get to pretend it never happened. Now tell me.”

O took the bullet for her girlfriend. “They were at the bar together last night.”

“So?” Clarke tried to sound cavalier. “They hang out together. I already knew that. Aden told me.”

“How is Aden? When did you see him?” Raven asked, trying to sidetrack the conversation.

Clarke wasn’t falling for it. “Spill it. What about Lexa and Costia?”

“Well...” O hesitated. “Then they left together...after making out on the dance floor.”

Everyone was silent as they all digested this news.

Something inside Clarke broke. And no amount of glue would put it back together. She realized that, despite her decision in the middle of the night to stay away from Lexa, she was still carrying around some minuscule spark of hope that Lexa and Costia were just friends. That Lexa loved her and would fight for her _._ If they were sleeping together, then it was unequivocally over.

“You okay Clarke?” O asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Whatever. I have no hold on her. She’s free to be with whoever she wants.”

“Maybe it was just a one-night stand,” Raven suggested.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over between us. It’s been over for eight weeks. I need to get on with my life, too.” Right then Clarke made a decision. Was it spite-driven? Maybe. Was it rash? Absolutely. “I think Finn and I are just gonna get married.”

Raven’s noodle fell off her fork. “What?”

“You heard me.”

O took a deep breath. “Clarke. Don’t do something temerarious just because Lexa slept with Costia.”

Raven pointed at O, “Exactly. Don’t be temporaneous.”

“Temerarious,” O corrected.

“Yes, that. Because I’m sure it means, don’t make the biggest mistake of your life.”

O raised a brow. “Close.” They low fived under the table.

“Clarke don’t be temerarious,” Raven repeated, correctly this time.

“I’m not being temerarious because they slept together. It’s not because of that. It’s just…he’s all I’ve got…all I’ve got left.”

Raven folded her arms. “You don’t love him.”

“I do love him.”

“You’re not _in love_ with him. You’ve told us that.”

“Yeah, well, who needs to be in love? Being in love is complicated. And never seems to end well. For me anyway.”

O grabbed Clarke’s hand. “Clarke now is not the time to be thinking about this. You just went through something very traumatic. At least wait until your head’s clear and you’ve gotten over losing your baby.”

“No, I think it’s the best thing for me.” Clarke stood up and started pacing. “I was settled before I met her. My life was simple. Uncomplicated. And then I met Lexa and everything...changed.”

“You fell in love and you were happy!” Raven argued. “It changed for the better.”

“No, it didn’t.” Clarke’s eyes filled up. “It felt like I had no control anymore. I questioned everything in my life. It was scary.”

“Love is scary, Clarke. You know what you should do? You should just march over there and tell her you love her. Tell her to give you another chance,” Raven demanded.

“Oh my god, I’m not doing that. She’s obviously not in love with me, she’s already with somebody else!”

“How do you know she’s not in love with you?”

Clarke opened her mouth to speak, hesitated, then closed it.

“Clarke, you don’t know for sure how she feels about you. I don’t know how she feels. Babe, do you know how she feels?”

Octavia shook her head.

“See? None of us knows how she feels. But there’s one thing I do know, you guys were great together.”

“Great together? We weren’t ‘together’ that long,” Clarke said, putting quotes around together. “And at this point, she’s been with Costia longer.”

“You spent a weekend together.”

“It wasn’t a full weekend.”

“It was two days,” Raven exaggerated, trying to make a point.

“It was eighteen hours,” Clarke rebutted.

“I thought we were rounding it up?”

“I thought we were rounding it down.”

“Ppfft.” Raven looked away, exasperated.

“Lexa’s back with Costia. Costia makes her happy. She deserves to be happy.”

“You deserve to be happy too, you know,” Raven muttered.

“Well, I’ll be happy with Finn.”

“Finn doesn’t make you happy,” O countered.

“He’s all I’ve got left! I can’t lose him, too. He loves me. Please, you guys...” Clarke looked back and forth between the two of them. “Please. I need you. I’ve lost so much already. Don’t judge me or argue about my choices. Because I don’t have the strength right now to defend myself. I am just trying to make it through every day without falling to pieces. And if my best friends aren’t with me, I...I don’t...I just...”

Octavia got up and wrapped her arms around Clarke. “Of course, Clarke. We’re here for you. Whatever you need. We love you.”

Clarke reveled in the warmth of Octavia’s embrace and was thankful for the love of her two friends. She would make it through this difficult time with their help. If they were with her, she’d be fine. Clarke glanced at Raven, who was frowning and reluctant to join the hug. Clarke went through a variety of comically imploring faces to sway her bestie.

It took a couple of seconds, but Raven got up and joined in, all three intertwined. “Okay, Clarke. We’ll be there for you. You won’t be the first bride to leave the altar before saying I do. And when that happens, I’ll have the car running out front.”

“Rave. Stop it!” Clarke admonished, squeezing Raven. But there was a small smile on her face.

“I’m kidding. I’m just kidding.” Raven had her fingers crossed behind Clarke’s back.

 

* * *

“Finn and I decided to go through with the wedding.” Clarke and Abby were having lunch a couple of days after Raven and Octavia’s visit.  
  
Abby’s mouth opened in shock. “What?”

“We’re gonna get married.”

“Are you sure?”

Clarke’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought you’d be ecstatic.”

“I’m very happy, sweetie.” Abby reached out and grabbed Clarke’s hand. “Of course, I am. But...you just had a miscarriage. You’ve been through emotional hell. I’m not so sure you should be making this kind of decision right now. There’s plenty of time to think about that after you’ve healed.”

“I made up my mind, mom. We made up our minds. It’s what we want.” Clarke and Finn had talked long into the night after returning from dinner at the Jordan’s. Finn brought up how great it would be to have a family, and that he thought they would make excellent parents. After much back and forth and many tears, they both agreed to try again, to put the past behind them and move forward. They had finally gone to bed around four a.m. Clarke stayed in the guest room, not quite ready for things to be totally back normal. Maybe after the wedding. Maybe by then it wouldn’t feel like cheating. Cheating on Lexa.

So here she was, barely awake, operating on about two hours of sleep. Clarke was thankful she didn't have to literally operate today.

“Clarke, you don’t have to do this right now. Why don’t you wait a few months?”

Abby’s questioning surprised Clarke. She expected happiness and excitement. Not this tempered response. “Who are you and what did you do with my mom?” she joked.

Abby gave a tight-lipped smile. “I’m just worried about you. I know you’ve been depressed. And that’s normal. I just don’t want you to have any regrets. That’s all.”

Clarke put on a happy face, pushing her ever present pain down deep. “Well, this is what I want. But I could use your help. My schedule is gonna be busy next month. I was hoping you could help with arranging everything. The sooner the better. Maybe we can even get the same date at the church. Check with Reverend Monaghan. Since we just canceled a couple months ago, maybe it's still available. And Finn’s gonna ask his parents to have the reception back at their place. It’s certainly big enough.”

“If this is truly what you want, I’ll help you. I’m sure I can get things moving for you.” Abby squeezed Clarke’s hand again.

“Yes, mom. It’s what I want. It’s what Finn and I both want.” Liar, liar. Pants on fucking fire.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. So take a deep breath, all will be well next chapter. Let’s see, I am seriously running out of funny stories for you.  
> So as I said, we made our first trip to Europe. We visited Vienna and Barcelona. How were the flights you ask? Not too bad this time. I was pulled aside for the usual frisk at Philly airport. Don’t ask, I have no idea why it happens every fucking time. Maybe I just look cute in my hiking pants?  
> We upgraded to first class for the ride over. It was a deal that I could not resist when I did on-line check in. I mean, c’mon. The food. The tray table. How could I not? And this time is was a much longer flight than just going to Florida. ( I know you probably think I’m some gazillionaire with all this travel and first class tickets. I’m not. Just a wee bit older than some of you peeps. Can’t take it with you and all that schtick.) We traveled with another couple, a friend of mine and her wife. This friend I’ve known for over twenty-five years. She used to travel a lot for work, so she always had a million miles to trade in for first class, while the rest of us were in the back of the bus. But she’s retired now, so they were in coach. And don’t think I wasn’t gloating over that. She’d come up to visit and I ordered the stewardess to send her back. “Ah, Mahm, she’s not supposed to be here.” I wanted a Bridesmaids moment.  
> So where was I? Oh yes, the food. They just kept bringing it out. And I just kept eating it. I paid for it. I was eating every morsel. The nice steward-dude asked if I wanted to be woken up for breakfast. Hell fucking yes. I paid for it, mother fucker. No, I didn’t say that. He was polite and attentive, he was the male Not-Janet. He was Steve and I loved him. I mean, he’s a dude and all, but still. He came bearing food. ( I wasn’t as lucky as Atomic Brunette, who on her flight over to Europe got hit on by one of the stewardesses. LOL. You go girl. ) So, turns out I did not have to be woken up for breakfast, cause I never went to sleep. Too much food in my belly. I was like a beached whale in my full-recline seat, my belly percolating and digesting. Probably not the best way to start off a vacation. With an already bloated belly. Don’t get me started on travel constipation.  
> So, that was the flight over. On the flight back, at Barcelona airport, we were flagged for a random security check, why? Just because, of course. Our seats this time were just in premium economy, (our original choices.) Still had loads of food. We left at noon so it was a day time flight back to the states. With about an hour left, I turn to the wife and say, “I’m fucking hungry. Where’s the food?” This was after a welcome snack and a big lunch with dessert ( chocolate ice cream, heaven.) She shrugs. I eat a protein bar. As soon as I’m finished, don’t they come around and hand out more food. After I just ate my protein bar. I wasn’t hungry now. But guess, what? I ate it. Why? Cause I paid for it! And more dessert! Some chocolatey caramel pudding. I went into a sugar coma.  
> So that was my flight stories. Hope you enjoyed. Please don't freak out about our girls here. They're gonna be fine. A great love story needs some pain, only makes the love greater. I hope they way I've written it makes their choices plausible. We've all been hurt by someone, we've all made bad decisions, decisions based on crazy emotions. At least I know I have. But these two are lucky, cause everything will work out for them. Which a lot of times doesn't happen in real life.  
> All right, I’m probably running out of room. Til next time! Drop me a line, I love to hear from you all.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa is back!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. Finally, right? After three heartbreaking chapters our girls find their way back to each other. I should get some major props for getting this chapter up so quick. Thanks to LisaM as per usual. You have no idea how many times she has had to remind me that Aden is deaf. I'll have some snappy dialogue written and she'll go, "Ah, dude, the kid is deaf." Oops! Any who. So I did something fun this chapter, let's see if anyone picks up on it.  
> Our pictures! First row is from dreamaboutstuff, her two puppos Tyson and Turbo Jackson. Evidently Turbo is a negative descriptor. Meaning. He's the opposite of turbo. I just made that up, negative descriptor. Wow. So inventive. Feel free to use that.  
> Next line. Would you look at this fellow. This is from Mz Chuck, one of my aussie crew. This is a quokka. Remember Roo was telling us how horrifying the creatures down under are, that they can kill you? Well, it seems she neglected to tell us about this fellow. But Chuck made sure I found out about him. They live on an island off the coast. And people take selfies with them. Seriously. Go to Rottnest Island and get your selfie with a quokka. After our quokkas, from another aussie friendo, ThreeBands, this is Cleo. Her wooer's kittie. Yes she has a wooer. We're all jelly!  
> Last line from E and the ranch. Albert the basset hound, Mae the beagle, and what do we have here? Looks like some sort of illicit corgi bath house. Last pics of course, our Dufus, Miss Banshee, and the last one of Ike and Dufus.  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter. Drop me a line! There will be one more chapter after this, then an epilogue also. Toodles.

 

 

_“Lexi, I have an idea.” Six-year-old Clarke was feeling mischievous. She and Lexa were both lying in the hospital bed watching a cartoon on the small TV monitor. Tomorrow was Lexa’s tonsillectomy._

_“What?” Lexa asked. She was having so much fun with her new friend Clarke._

_Clarke put a finger to her lips. “Sshhh. Come with me.”_

_“Okay,” Lexa whispered. She looked around for her mom, who was still outside near the nurse’s station on a phone call. Both girls climbed out of the bed and hit the ground running._

_Clarke led Lexa to the lunch cart that was parked outside another room six doors down. With a giggle Clarke grabbed two chocolate puddings and two spoons off the cart, gave one of each to Lexa, grabbed Lexa’s free hand and scurried back down to the empty lobby at the end of the hallway. “This way Lexi, over here.” She pulled a chair over to the window and climbed up, patting the space next to her. “Sit down.”_

_Lexa climbed onto the chair and snuggled into Clarke. Both girls opened their puddings and began eating._

_“Mmm. This is good, Clarke.”_

_“I love this pudding. I get some all the time when I’m here.”_

_“Are you here a lot?” Lexa asked._

_“My mommy and daddy work all the time. And sometimes the babysitter doesn’t come. So, mommy brings me. I like to sit here and pretend I’m in a castle.”_

_Lexa could imagine Clarke living in a castle, because she was so pretty. “That would make you a princess.”_

_“That’s what my daddy calls me.”_

_Lexa agreed with Clarke’s daddy. She was a princess. “Can I come visit you in the castle?”_

_“Yes. You can be a knight. And rescue me.”_

_“Rescue you from what?”_

_Clarke scrunched up her face in thought. After a beat she said, “From dragons.”_

_“Dragons are scary.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_Lexa swung her legs back and forth as she ate her pudding. She looked around the empty lobby and decided that it must be lonely for Clarke to sit here by herself all the time. “Do you always sit here alone?”_

_“Yeah. But now I have you, Lexi.” Clarke kissed Lexa on the cheek. “You’re my best friend.”_

_Lexa’s smile was a mile wide. Her angel, Clarke, just kissed her on the cheek. And they would be best friends forever._

_Clarke licked her spoon. “When we grow up, we can live in the same house and do everything together.”_

_Lexa swallowed a big mouthful of pudding. “Okay.”_

_“We’ll live in a big house with horses and puppies and kittens.”_

_Lexa’s delighted laughter echoed around the lobby. “I always wanted a puppy.”_

_“Me too. Mommy says we can’t have one because nobody is ever home.”_

_“My mommy says we don’t have enough money right now.”_

_“When we get older we’ll have as much money as we want.”_

_“And our backyard will be so big all the animals can play together. And the dogs and kittens will love each other. They won’t fight.”_

_“And we’ll eat pudding every day,” Clarke said._

_“This pudding is really good.”_

_Clarke nodded. “It is.” Both girls finished eating in silence. Clarke slid off the chair and reached out a hand to Lexa, who took it and crawled off the chair. They threw their empty pudding containers into the trash can by the elevator._

_As they walked down the hallway, hand in hand, Clarke said, “We’ll get married. And our mommies and daddies can live with us, too.”_

_“I don’t have a daddy.”_

_“You don’t? Why not?”_

_Lexa shrugged. “I don’t know. My mommy is all I have.”_

_“You have me now, Lexi.”_

 

Lexa’s alarm went off at six a.m. She pushed the snooze and lay back down. She barely had the strength to get up. Today was the day. Saturday. Clarke’s wedding day. She never imagined it would come to this. A month ago, when Maya told her that the wedding was back on, her first reaction was disbelief. How could Clarke still want to get married to Finn? She didn’t love him. How could she make such a mistake? _And don’t come back_. God, did those words drive Clarke back to Finn? Was it her fault this was all happening?

No. Clarke was responsible for her own decisions. But it was still the biggest gut punch of all and it had sent Lexa reeling. She had no idea how she was still standing. But she was. And she’d get through this day, just like she’d been getting through every day for the past four months. One agonizing step at a time. She sat up and looked at the other side of the bed, remembering that one special weekend, waking up next to Clarke, feeling such happiness and love and contentment. She sighed and swung her legs over the edge of the mattress. No sense dwelling on those happy times. That ship had sailed.

Lexa stretched her arms in the air, groaning as the ligaments in her shoulders popped. Time to wake up. She shuffled off to the bathroom to brush her teeth. While brushing she opened the blinds and was met by radiant sunshine. She blinked at the annoying glare. Fucking sunshine. It seemed Seattle was happy with the events of today. Well, fuck you Seattle! God damn. The least it could do was be misty and miserable to match Lexa’s lugubrious mood. Even the weather conspired against her.

After showering and making herself somewhat presentable, she headed out to the kitchen for coffee and breakfast. The dogs barked to be let out, and she opened the door, happy to oblige. She turned the coffee pot on and stood in front of the fridge, staring at the contents inside. Everything was unappealing. Was she even hungry? Eh. Maybe a English muffin. She got out the toaster and sliced the muffin in half. The kittens mewed around her legs, looking for their breakfast. Tigger sank his claws into Lexa’s very furry slipper, and she dragged him around as she walked to the cabinet to get a coffee mug. It was their thing in the morning.

Thank god for the pets. The menial tasks of taking care of their needs kept her somewhat sane. It was nice to be needed. Even if the needy had four legs and fur.

Right when Lexa sat down to eat, Anya came through the door like a whirlwind. It was her weekend to take care of the overnight dogs. “Hey, Lex. We have to move some of the old business files to the barn’s loft. I need more room in the filing cabinets. I’m gonna start on that today. That muffin looks good.” She barely looked at Lexa as she went to the fridge to get one. “Maybe we can shred some of the old stuff that’s up there. I’ll go through the boxes.” She popped the muffin into the toaster. “I think there’s a food delivery today, too. I’ll double check when I go over to the office.” She checked email on her phone while the toaster did its job. “When will they be finished with your car?” She removed the muffin and buttered it.

“They said Tuesday.” Lexa’s car had been in the shop with transmission problems the last few days. The weather had been pleasant enough so that she could ride the Harley, thank god.

“Good.” Anya sat down heavily in the chair. After her first bite she finally looked at Lexa and flinched. “Jesus, you look like shit, you sick or something?”

“No,” Lexa said morosely.

“What the hell’s wrong?”

Lexa closed her eyes and drew a ragged breath. “Today’s the day.”

“What day?” Anya wracked her brain to see if she forgot something, a birthday maybe?

“Clarke’s wedding day.”

Anya sat back in the chair. “Oh shit. That’s right. Sorry buddy.”

Lexa stared into her coffee, absently stirring.

“What can you do Lex? I mean, there’s nothing you can do. Unless you wanna go steal her from the altar.”

Lexa gave a small chuckle. “That would be funny.” The chuckle didn’t last long. “I don’t know why she’s doing this. She doesn’t love him.”

“Sometimes people take the safe way out, I guess.”

Lexa battled the tears that threatened to fill her eyes. “We fit, you know? We were good together.” Her voice caught at the end.

“I know.”

“You know what the worst part is?”

“What?”

“I never told her I loved her...and I’m scared that I’m gonna regret that for the rest of my life,” she whispered softly.

Anya reached out and squeezed Lexa’s hand. “I’m so sorry, Lexa.”

Lexa was lost in her thoughts while both her coffee and muffin got cold.

“Maybe you should drive over there and tell her.”

“Huh?”

“Go tell her how you feel.”

Lexa looked at Anya like she had three heads. “I’m not driving over there to tell her.”

Anya perked up, because she thought it was a brilliant idea. “Why not?”

“What? You want me to drive to the church and tell her that I love her?”

“Yeah. Shit, how romantic would that be?”

Lexa rubbed her eyes. “Oh, c’mon.”

Anya shrugged. “At least that way you’ll never have any regrets, right?”

“I’m not doing that. Jesus.” Lexa was flummoxed. “Number one, okay, you’re ridiculous. That’s, that’s ridiculous, thinking I should...I should walk into a church—full of people—and tell her that I love her. And number two,” Lexa pointed for emphasis, “in case you forgot, she’s the one who left.”

“Ooohh. I see.”

“What? See what?”

“Hubris.”

Lexa narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s a pride thing.” Anya continued to eat her muffin, letting Lexa digest the words.

“What do you mean, a pride thing?” Lexa was determined to remain deliberately abstruse.

“You feel that since she left, she should be the one to come crawling back.”

Lexa crossed her arms in defiance. Clarke was the one who walked away, damn it. So yes. That was exactly how she felt. “Something like that, yeah.”

“Now who’s ridiculous,” Anya mumbled under her breath.

“Why is that ridiculous?”

“Because you’re letting your pride get in the way of possible happiness.”

“Ppffft.”

“Listen, in a perfect world, yes you're right. Clarke left, Clarke needs to eat crow to come back. But life ain’t perfect Lexa. And it sure as shit is never fair.” Anya got up to pour a cup of coffee before she continued the lecture entitled, Love Is Never Easy 101. “You’re the one sitting here, saying how you’re gonna regret it for the rest of your life. Do you really want that hanging over your head? For the rest of your life? I don’t know, but swallowing your pride seems like a small price to pay to have some peace of mind. To know that you did everything you could. Even if it doesn’t work out. You know you did _everything_ you could. No regrets.”

Lexa just grunted and made a face.

“Maybe she thinks you don’t really care that much. Maybe she needs to know how you feel before she says I do.”

Lexa scoffed. “I doubt it’ll make a difference.”

“You don’t know that, do you?”

Lexa clammed up.

“Lexa, you don’t know, do you?”

Lexa blew out a frustrated breath. “No, I don’t know.”

“Go fucking tell her! What time is the wedding?”

“Eleven.” Lexa hated that she knew the exact time. “And it’s not that simple.”

“It is,” Anya insisted.

“Stop it! Enough, okay?” Lexa hissed, before getting up and storming outside. She veered off towards the barn and stepped in a big pile of dog shit. She looked down at her previously white, fluffy slipper. She rolled her eyes. “Fuck my luck.”

* * *

 

“Jesus Christ, it’s like a funeral in here, open up the fucking curtains!” Raven navigated through Clarke’s darkened hotel room at eight a.m. The wedding party had stayed at a swanky hotel near the church last night. They had the rehearsal dinner and then everybody crashed around eleven p.m. “Why you still in bed, get up.”

The only sound from underneath the gold and white duvet was a groan.

Octavia threw back the curtains and sunlight flooded the room. She looked over at the bed and all that was visible was a person-sized lump. “Look Clarke, a sunny day, a goddamn indubitable sunny day. That’s one people!” Octavia held up her index finger.

Raven high-fived her as she walked over to Clarke’s bed and plopped down on it, bouncing the lump that was Clarke in the air. “C’mon Clarkie, up. It’s your wedding day my friend. And the fucking sun is out. It seems the Seattle gods want you to get married today.”

“My head hurts,” Clarke squawked, not bothering to remove the covers from her face.

“It’s alive.” O took a flying leap onto the bed, trying to rouse Clarke from her polyester and satin grave.

Raven pried the covers off and threw them on the floor. “Let’s go. Happiest day of your life, today. Look fucking happy.”

Clarke’s hair was hanging over her face as she stayed prone on the bed. “Fuck off.”

“That’s the spirit, that’s my Clarkie. C’mon, you need to shower. Jesus, it smells abhorrent in here, like a hundred whiskey bottles exploded. Did you drink alone last night?”

An arm rose from the dead, like Lazarus. A finger point soon followed. “I may have emptied the mini bar.”

“Well, that is beyond pathetic my friend. You should have called us. No bride-to-be should get hammered alone the night before her wedding.”

“I wanted to drown in self-pity alone.”

“It’s not too late Clarke,” Octavia said.

“Too late for what? Another drink?”

Raven bopped her in the head with a pillow. “No, jackass, to walk away. Get the fuck outta here. That car is running out front just like I promised. We’ll cover for you. Fly, be free. Be your own woman, grow those lady balls!”

“Yeah Clarke, this wedding is not indubitable yet, not ‘til the ring is on the finger. That’s two people! Two! And it’s not even nine o’clock,” O preened.

Raven was skeptical, and she put Clarke on hold for a moment. “I’m not sure you used that right.”

“I did. I think I did.”

“I don’t think so. You need to google that.”

“Okay, hold on.” Octavia brought up google on her iPhone and did some research.

Clarke groaned into the very pillow that assaulted her moments ago. “It’s indubitable that my life is a shit show...of my own making.”

Raven pointed emphatically at Clarke. “Now that, that was used right.”

O was done researching. “Ha! I used it right, too. It’s an adjective.”

“Whatever.”

“I dreamed about her again last night,” Clarke muttered into the pillow. The dreams had come fast and furious this past week. Every night was a new torture. It was like her mind was giving one last gasp of hope.

Raven turned her attention back to her best friend. “Well, there’s the door. Make that dream a reality.”

Clarke whimpered as her stomach roiled. She felt bilious. Cleaning out the mini bar solo will do that. She crawled out of bed and onto the floor. She continued to crawl surreptitiously on all fours towards the bathroom.

“The door is that way.” Raven pointed in the opposite direction of Clarke’s crawl.

“My life sucks. I have a hangover on my wedding day. Just great, gonna be a great day.” Clarke crawled through the bathroom door.

“Wrong fucking door,” Raven said loudly. Clarke closed it and the girls heard the shower turn on. “Fuck,” Raven said softly, knowing her bestie was making the biggest mistake of her life, and she was powerless to stop her. She couldn’t wrap her ahead around the fact that Clarke was a great doctor, a confident surgeon, but when it came to her own life, her own wants and desires, she came up so small. But then again, Raven hadn’t been subjected to thirty-three years of living in the Griffin household. She hadn’t walked in Clarke’s shoes, so to speak. Raven slowly shook her head. “Looks like this fucking wedding is on. We need a miracle. A prodigious miracle.”

 

**Back at the farm**

 

Lexa walked out towards the barn to get rid of some of her restless energy. She checked the time on her phone. Ten a.m. One hour. One hour until Clarke would be gone forever.

She found Anya going through some boxes near the loft. Lexa felt bad for her earlier outburst. “Hey, sorry for snapping at you earlier.”

“It’s okay. I get it.” Anya looked up from what she was doing. “Did you know these boxes were here? They were up in the loft. I think they’re from your mom’s house.”

“Oh shit, I forgot they were up there. I put them there after she died.”

“Well, do you wanna go through them? We need the space.”

“Yeah, lemme see.” Lexa opened the first box. She started smiling as she pulled out old photo albums. “Holy crap. My old baby pictures. I thought she threw this stuff out.”

“Oh, let’s see baby Lexa.” Anya looked over Lexa’s shoulder. “Hey, you were a pretty cute kid.”

“Yeah I was. And here’s mom. She was so beautiful.” Lexa touched the picture in front of her, nostalgia and melancholy washing over her in waves. It was the one time they had gone to a beach, and they were both in bathing suits and hats. They spent hours building sand castles that day. Only to watch the high tide eviscerate them. “God, I miss her.” Tears misted in her eyes. How could there still be tears left after the last four months? She thought for sure they’d be all dried up by now.

“This box looks like it’s from your bedroom or something, there’s some old toys and books and stuff in it.”

Lexa rubbed an arm across her eyes, that was it. No more. She was done crying. From this moment forward, she would be tear-free. Well, at least through today. Or at least through the next hour. She re-focused on the task at hand. “Toys? I’ll probably donate those.” Lexa sat on the ground and started pulling stuff out of the box. She started a pile of old puzzles and toys that she would take to Seattle Children’s Hospital. The last things she pulled out of the box were all her most cherished children’s books. She took the first book out and paged through it. Reading the words took her back to when she was small, and her mom would read to her every night before she went to bed. When Lexa was able to read, they would do so together, taking turns reading each page.

Lexa was ready to put the box aside when she noticed there was one more book at the bottom. She hesitated. A sudden chill ran up her spine, like a ghost tickling her vertebrae. Goosebumps pimpled her arms. That was odd. It was hot and stuffy in the barn, why the sudden chill? She reached in and lifted the book out. When she looked at the cover, her heart fluttered irregularly. She felt the unusual beat all the way up in her throat. The picture on the front was obviously drawn by a young child. It was of a woman with long hair, in a lab coat with a stethoscope hanging around her neck. Obviously, a doctor. Now Lexa’s heartbeat felt like a bass drum. The haunting déjà vu sensation was back with a vengeance. The clouded memory that had been dancing on the edge of her consciousness for the last half a year was there again, only this time the tendrils of fog were starting to swirl away.

She started paging through the book. There were hand-drawn pictures of two little girls, one blonde and one brunette, watching TV and eating ice cream. Lexa’s hands began to shake. Memories came slowly trickling back, released from the prison of her mind where they had stayed buried for so long. A hospital bed. A little girl’s laughter. The warmth of a chaste kiss on the cheek. The promise of vanquished dragons. The princess in the castle. “Oh my god.”

“What?”

“This book, oh...my...god.” Lexa felt her furiously beating heart stop. She couldn’t breathe. “Oh my god.”

“Jesus Christ, what?” Anya asked impatiently.

Lexa eyes were filled with wonder and unshed tears. “It’s Clarke.” The slow trickle of memories turned into a downpour, as Lexa started to remember everything from those two days.

“What’s Clarke? Who? Your Clarke?”

 _“Yeesss!”_ Lexa exclaimed.

Anya was thoroughly confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Look!” Lexa showed Anya a page where _‘lexi and clarke forever’_ was written inside a heart. “It's Clarke! She drew this book for me. Oh my god.” Lexa’s lips quirked up at the corners as the happy memories washed through her. The smile started out small and grew with each page in front of her. “Holy fuck. It was Clarke, she was my angel. Holy fuck! I can’t believe it.”

“Obviously I have to buy a goddamn clue, cause I have no idea what’s happening here. How do you know it’s _your_ Clarke?”

“Because I know.” Lexa pounded a fist to her heart. “I _know_.” She handed the book to Anya. “Check out the last page.” Lexa hadn’t looked at it, but she didn’t have to, she remembered and knew exactly what was on it. She’d read it countless times all those years ago. Every night before she went to bed.

Anya went to the last page and there in a child’s handwriting were the words, _‘lexi, i hope this makes you feel better. you are my best friend. love clarke.’_ Anya shrugged. “Okay, but you still don’t know if it’s your Clarke.”

“Turn it over,” Lexa demanded.

Anya turned the book over to look at the back cover. _Picture book by Clarke Griffin_. Her mouth dropped open. “Holy fucking shit. It _is_ her.”

Lexa’s whole body was trembling from the excitement of the discovery. “I was in love with her. Well, as much as a six-year-old can be in love of course. I thought she was so pretty. She reminded me of an angel, with her curly blond hair and blue eyes.” Lexa got lost in the memories now, remembering how Clarke’s hair framed her head, like a halo. “I was in the hospital to get my tonsils out, and her mom happened to be my doctor. The day before my surgery, Clarke’s mom brought her in, and introduced us. Clarke and I spent two days together. When I left the hospital, she promised to visit.” Lexa lovingly caressed Clarke’s six-year-old signature. “I read this book every night for a long time, and I kept asking my mom when Clarke was coming over.”

“Did you ever see her again? I mean besides now of course.”

“No. I never did. I doubt her parents wanted Clarke to pursue our friendship. I lived on the wrong side of the tracks, so to speak.”

“How did you not remember all this the moment you heard Clarke's name?”

“I don't know. It became painful after a while, waiting for her, so I think I just buried it in my mind. We were only together a couple of days. And it was twenty-seven years ago.” Lexa took a deep shaky breath and let it out, thinking about how crazy fate could be. “Holy shit, unbelievable. What are the chances? To meet again after all these years. This has been what’s been bugging me for months. It felt like déjà vu every time I heard Clarke’s name. There was this thing in my head, like, some small part of my brain remembered, but neglected to tell the rest of it.” Lexa continued to stare down at the pages in the book. “Oh my god, I have to show her this someday,” she said in a soft voice, more to herself than anything. “I wonder if she’d remember.”

“Well, if that’s not a fucking sign, I don’t know what is. You need to go get your girl. Show her the book now.”

“What?”

“Go, go get your fucking girl. It’s ten thirty. Move your ass.”

Lexa looked up at her, hope starting to sprout in her heart. “It is a sign, isn’t it?”

“It’s the best fucking sign I’ve ever seen, move it.” Anya reached down and jerked Lexa up by the arms and pushed her out the barn door. “Go! And don’t come back without her,” she called after Lexa, who was stuffing the book in the saddle bags and hopping on the motorcycle. “Wait, shouldn't you take my car?” But Lexa was already flying up the driveway. “Doesn't Clarke hate motorcycles,” Anya said out loud to nobody in particular.

 

**The Church**

 

“You look beautiful honey,” Abby said as she gave Clarke an air kiss, not wanting to smudge her makeup or get lipstick on her cheek. “Finn is a good man, you two will be happy together.”

Clarke smoothed down an imaginary wrinkle on her wedding dress. She had opted for a dress that was plain and sophisticated. There was no long train trailing behind her. Clarke preferred a shorter detachable train that could be removed after the ceremony. The neckline on the ivory lace gown was modest, only giving a hint of décolletage. As she stared at her reflection, Clarke tried to put on a happy face. She doubted her mom would notice how forced it was. But then again, this was the new Abby, she might. “Thanks Mom. I guess I’ll see you out there.”

“Okay honey.” Abby left Raven, Octavia and Clarke alone in the vestibule of the church.

Clarke rubbed at her temples. The pounding headache persisted. “God, how did I get here?”

“By limo,” Raven quipped as she put an arm around her friend. “The same limo that is still outside if you need to haul ass out of here.”

“It’s still not too late Clarke,” O interjected. “We’ll all leave.”

“I can’t leave now. It’s too late. I’m just gonna suck it up. And everyone will be happy.”

Raven fussed over the veil on Clarke’s head. “Everyone except you, but hey, no biggie.” Clarke looked to be near tears, so Raven thought she better back off. “Okay, no tears, happiest day of your life, here we come.”

“I love her.” Clarke’s voice quivered in pain. A small tear managed to escape. “And I never told her. I should have told her.”

Raven quickly reached out and wiped it away. “Clarke this isn’t the middle ages, for Christ’s sake. Leave now. Let’s go, we’ll go with you.” Raven saw the tiniest spark of life in Clarke’s eyes, but just like that it was extinguished.

“No, I’m just being stupid. She’s moved on. She’s found someone else. This is the right thing to do. Finn is one of my best friends. So...” Clarke’s voice trailed off. She was tired of trying to convince herself of what was right. Exhausted really.

“Clarke, maybe she hasn’t moved on, maybe—” Octavia was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Jake stuck his head in. “We ready princess?”

“Yeah, I’m ready Dad.”

“I’ll be right outside here then.” He smiled and closed the door.

Clarke turned to her two besties. “Okay, wish me luck I guess.”

Octavia hugged Clarke. “Good luck buddy. We love you. See you at the altar.”

Raven was next. She put her arms around Clarke. “There’s still time. Right up until I do. You just give me a signal, and we’ll create a diversion, so you can high tail it out of there. O can scream, ‘I just got my period!’ or something.”

Raven’s tenacity almost made Clarke smile. Almost. “That would clear the whole church probably.”

“Even better.” Raven squeezed Clarke.

Clarke inhaled. “Why do you smell like popcorn?”

“What? That’s crazy Clarke. Sounds like wishful thinking on your part. I mean, popcorn means Clexa, right?”

Clarke sighed. Probably just was wishful thinking. Or wishful smelling. She gently steered Raven towards door. “Yeah. It’s just my imagination I guess. Now go. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Okay. We love you, Clarke.”

Raven and Octavia left, and Clarke was alone. She clutched at the sudden tightness in her chest. This was it. There would be no turning back. This was the rest of her life. She walked out the door. This was the right thing to do.

 

* * *

 

Lexa spent half an hour weaving in and out of traffic, even going up on the sidewalk at one point to avoid a traffic light. She almost got creamed twice. She prayed to the heavens there were no cops out today. And just like that, flashing lights appeared in the side mirror. “Fuck me. God damn it!”

She thought about ignoring them, just gunning it to the church, consequences be damned. But she didn’t need to get arrested, so she slowed down and pulled over. Christ. This was gonna be an expensive ticket. But instead of stopping behind her, the unmarked car pulled alongside of her with a familiar face behind the wheel, and Lexa’s mood brightened.

“Hey hot stuff. You late for something?”

“I'm late for a fucking wedding.”

“I know. Anya called. Follow me.” Luna pulled in front of her, lights still flashing, and Lexa followed the police escort all the way to the church.

When Lexa and Luna arrived at the church, Lexa parked her bike, grabbed the book, and ran up the steps.

“Good luck!” Luna called.

Lexa’s heart was pounding from adrenaline as she burst through the church doors. Clarke was at the altar with Finn, and Octavia and Raven were on the other side of her. Lexa panicked, wondering if it was too late. The doors banged shut behind her and all the guests turned and looked, including the bride and groom. Lexa’s confidence wavered. She took a quick glance down at the book in her hand and prayed for courage. The silence was deafening. She made eye contact with the Jordan's, who were sitting halfway up the aisle. Their facial expressions were priceless, and if the situation wasn’t so fraught with tension, Lexa would have laughed. She looked past Maya, Aden and Jasper, her eyes landing on the woman she loved. “Clarke,” she called out shakily.

Clarke stood at the altar with a dazed look on her face. “Lexa?”

“Holy shiiiit...” Raven whispered to O.

Finn looked at his bride-to-be questioningly. “Clarke?”

But Clarke only had eyes for one person. “Lexa, what are you doing here?”

“Don’t do this Clarke. Don’t do it,” Lexa implored.

“Why?” Clarke’s hushed voice echoed through the quiet church.

Lexa licked her lips nervously. There were a hundred hostile pairs of eyes boring into her, all wondering what she was going to say next. “Because you’re not in love with him,” she blurted out.

A gasp went through the church, followed by nervous murmurs.

“Holy fucking shiiiit,” Raven squeaked.

Lexa steadied herself, thinking the worst was over with that little outburst. She continued with the task at hand. “I found this book. You made it for me when we were six years old.”

“Book?” Clarke lifted her veil and started to slowly walk away from the altar and towards Lexa.

Finn tried to follow her, but Abby reached out from her seat and grabbed his hand. She shook her head. His shoulders sagged in defeat.

“What book?” Clarke asked.

Lexa felt encouraged as Clarke came down the aisle towards her. She held the book up, showing Clarke the cover. “You brought this to me when I was in the hospital. I was getting my tonsils out. You came and sat with me, and you stayed with me to make me feel better. We ate ice cream and chocolate pudding and you said we’d be together forever, you wrote that.” Lexa knew she was rambling and probably not making any sense. “I found it, I found it this morning in a box of old stuff, and…I don’t know, it was like a sign or something.”

“Holy mother fucking shiiiit,” Raven gasped quietly.

Lexa started to walk cautiously towards Clarke, not wanting to spook her, but needing to show her the book. She had to convince Clarke to give them a chance. That they deserved a chance. But most of all, she had to tell Clarke how much she loved her. Then she would have no regrets. She would just lay her cards on the table and see where they fell.

When she passed by Aden, he signed, “Grab her and go, dude.” Lexa gave him a slight nod of acknowledgement. Maya and Jasper’s expressions hadn’t changed. They’re mouths hung half open in disbelief.

When Clarke finally made it to Lexa she reached out for the book, while her gaze remained locked on Lexa’s face.

Lexa felt like she was suffocating now. The air seemed incredibly still, and she started to falter, second guessing herself. Wondering what the hell she was doing here, telling Clarke not to get married. But she pressed on. “I had to show you the book. And I had to tell you...that...you...you have tamed me Clarke Griffin.” Lexa paused. She drew a breath and gazed into her favorite pair of blue eyes. “And I’m in love with you.” She felt relief in finally being able to declare her feelings. “I’m _so_ in love with you.” Her voice strengthened. “And I dare you to love me back.”

Raven whistled with satisfaction. “Holy mother fucking, fucking mother shit.” She gave a fist pump before sneaking a hand into a secret pocket in her dress. And when she pulled that hand back out it was full of popcorn. Yes, she did smell like popcorn, god damn it. She popped it this morning, hoping to create some sort of favorable mojo, some positive karma, some good vibes, some jiffy pop voodoo. But the good kind of voodoo, if there was such a thing.

Clarke’s eyes filled with wonder and tears. She was speechless. There were no words. She couldn’t find the words, so she opened the book.

Octavia leaned into Raven’s ear. “What the shit is happening?”

“If I may encapsulate…”

“Please do.”

“I think she’s finally leaving Phil,” Raven said hopefully, while munching away.

“God, wouldn’t it have been easier to do this a month ago?”

“Wouldn’t it have been easier to do this when she woke up this morning?”

“Or in the limo over here.”

“Or before she walked down the aisle,” Raven fired back.

“Well, it’s indubitable that this was gonna happen,” O said. Raven gave her a low five because the situation did not call for a high five. Discretion was the better part of valor, after all. O stuck her hand in Raven’s pocket and grabbed a fistful of corn.

As Clarke flipped the pages in the book, memories that were long buried bubbled up to the surface. “Oh my god, I remember making this. My Gram Ev helped me. I had such fun those two days.” Clarke's eyes sought out Lexa. “Lexi? You’re my Lexi?”

“That's me.” Tears were leaking out of both of their eyes.

Clarke reached out a trembling hand and cupped Lexa’s cheek. “I never could get your name right.”

Lexa put her hand over Clarke's. “I know. And it's really not that difficult.”

“But it's kinda charming, right?”

“It's very charming.”

“I always say, it’s better to be charming than right.”

“Is that what you say?”

“Yes, yes Lexi. That’s what I say.” Lexa’s smile held such love and promise that it took Clarke’s breath away. “I can’t believe you kept it all this time.”

“I know. I can’t believe it either. And to find it today, of all days.”

Clarke was still stunned. “Oh my god. I can’t believe this. How is this even possible?”

Clarke continued to page through the book, and when she came to the page with _‘lexi and clarke forever’_ , she put a hand over her heart. “I remember drawing this.”

“You were my angel. You still are.” Lexa knew that sounded cheesy, but she didn’t care. This was all about winning the heart of the woman she loved. “Come with me Clarke. Right now. Come home with me. Take a chance on us. Please. I swear I'll make you happy.”

Clarke’s chest got tight. She looked back at the altar and saw Finn, her parents and his parents. All their families, all their loved ones. She looked around at all the questioning faces of the guests in the pews. And for a millisecond, she panicked. The hurt she was about to cause would be enormous. Finn would be devastated. Her parents and grandparents would be incredibly disappointed in her. They may disown her, like they had threatened to do years ago when she wanted to be with Niylah.

Clarke bit her lip as conflicting thoughts raced through her mind. Was this the right thing to do? Did she have the strength to do this? Did she have the lady balls, as Raven was so fond of saying? She wavered, ever so slightly.

But then something happened. Confidence took root and grew. It swelled inside her chest, blooming like a rose on the vine. Yes. This was right. Being with Lexa, loving Lexa was right. It was time. It was time to live her own life. It was time to find her own happiness. God damn right it was time. As Clarke’s confidence grew, so did her lady balls. Why, they grew three sizes that day, just like the Grinch’s heart on Christmas morning. She turned back to Lexa. “Can you give me a minute?”

Lexa hesitated, then gave a nod. “Sure. I’ll wait outside.” Lexa turned and walked back out of the church doors. She felt fairly confident that Clarke would be back. She would be back, right? Lexa felt a niggling of uncertainty, just a smidgen, but it was there. What if Finn convinced her to stay? What if the pressure from Clarke’s parents was too much?

Clarke walked slowly back towards the altar. The guests were restless and whispering by the time she made it to Finn and her family.

“Clarke, what’s going on?” Finn asked.

Jake reached out and grabbed Clarke’s hand. “Clarke honey, what’s happening?”

Abby gently pulled Jake away to give Clarke and Finn a modicum of privacy.

Clarke stared at the man who’d been a huge part of her life for over sixteen years. “Finn…” she started, then stopped, needing a moment to find the right words. But there really were no right words. There was no right way to do this. “Finn…I’m so sorry.” The pain on his face ripped at her heart. How many times had she hurt him now? God, he was gonna hate her forever.

Clarke continued. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t. I’ve been trying to do the right thing all my life. I’ve been trying to please everybody for as long as I can remember. And I can’t do it anymore. I won’t do it anymore. I’m in love with Lexa.” Clarke wiped at the moisture on her own cheek. “I love her so much, and I want to be with her. I want a life with her.”

Finn bit his lip and looked towards the heavens, trying to hold back the tears.

“I’m so sorry, Finn.”

He remained taciturn. With a wordless nod, he turned and walked towards the side door of the church, his family following close behind.

One down, two to go. Clarke went and stood in front of her parents. “Mom, Dad, I’m sorry. I can’t do this, I just can’t.”

Jake was confused. “Clarke, what’s going on?”

“I’m not getting married. I’m not in love with him, Dad. It’s time I lived my life for me. And not for you, or for anyone else. I hope you can understand. I love her. I love Lexa.”

“Princess, maybe you just need more time to heal,” Jake said. “This can all wait another few months—”

Abby cleared her throat. “Jake.”

“What?”

“Let our girl live her life.”

“I was just—”

Abby silenced him with a look and turned back to Clarke. “Go be happy, honey.” She pulled Clarke into her arms and they shared a moment.

“Thanks Mom. I love you guys.”

“We love you, too. Now go.”

 

Lexa was outside pacing back and forth in front of the doors to the church. Her stomach was churning. “Oh my god, I’m gonna be sick. Where is she?”

“Calm down, she’ll be here in a minute,” Luna said. She had sneaked in the side door and witnessed the entire spectacle. She followed Lexa outside to provide support if needed.

“It’s been half an hour.”

“It’s been five minutes.”

“What if they all convince her to go through with the wedding?”

Luna shook her head. “That’s not gonna happen.” She was paging through the picture book, chuckling. “I can’t believe you guys met as six year olds. Talk about serendipitous.”

Lexa was too stressed to agree with her. “What if she’s in there saying I do right now?”

“She’s not.”

For once, Lexa doubted her super cop friend. “How can you be sure?”

“Because I saw the way she looked at you.”

“She didn’t say I love you.”

“Jesus Christ. She didn’t have to. It was there in her eyes. It was all over her face. Trust me.”

Lexa wanted to believe Luna. But she was besieged with doubts. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “She didn’t take the dare. She always takes the dare.”

“If she already loves you, then she doesn’t have to take the dare, right?”

“This is taking too long!”

“She’ll be here in a minute.”

And as if on cue. “Lexa!”

Lexa’s heart stopped. She heard it. It was Clarke. Calling her name. Clarke was calling her name! Lexa spun around and threw open the doors. And there she was, in all her lacy glory, running down the aisle, dress billowing behind her as chaos reigned all around. Guests were standing and talking loudly, some spilled out of the pews after Clarke went by and began walking towards the back of the church. Aden high fived Clarke when she ran by. Raven and Octavia pushed and shoved their way through the crowd, trying to keep up with the runaway bride.

“Lexa!” Clarke called out again.

“Clarke!” She reached a hand out as Clarke came full bore, heading straight for her, not slowing down a bit. When Clarke got close she launched herself at Lexa and in that split second, Lexa prayed she would catch her. Now was not the time to drop the love of her life. Clarke’s body hit hers like a freight train and she stumbled backwards, but then she managed to right the ship. Lexa crushed their lips together, spinning Clarke around before putting her down.

Clarke was breathless from the exertion and the kiss. But mostly from the kiss. “I don’t have to take your dare, Lexa Woods, because I already do. I already love you. With all my heart. With every fiber of my being.”

With a sheepish grin, Lexa took a quick peek at Luna. How could she have doubted the super cop?

Luna handed Lexa the book, tipped an imaginary cap, and walked back to the unmarked squad car, already on her phone spreading the news.

Suddenly Clarke was kissing her again and all of Lexa’s pain from the last few months melted away and was replaced with infinite joy and happiness. And rightness. This was right. Clarke was her soulmate. Clarke made life worth living.

The Jordan's stood next to Raven and O and they all enjoyed the show from close by. Raven had been recording on her phone the whole time. “This is gonna be some kinda home movie.”

O dipped her hand into Raven’s pocket and shared the popcorn with everyone.

Maya was beaming. “That was the most incredibly romantic thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Clarke was awesome!” Aden said.

Jasper was still in shock. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Well, really, this was the only outcome that made sense,” O mused. “I mean, it would have been fallaciously duplicitous for Clarke to go through with that wedding.”

Raven’s eyes widened. She dramatically grabbed at her chest “Whaaat? Two WOTD's? Back to back? I just got wet.”

Maya blanched, taking a quick peek at Aden and being thankful that he wasn’t looking at Raven.

O giggled as they all shared a double high five. “I’ve been saving that one for months, baby!”

“You blew my fucking mind! Let me lay my lips on you.” They were soon engaged in a very hot and heavy kiss, much to the chagrin of Reverend Monaghan, who stood nearby.

Clarke and Lexa were still in their own little world enjoying their own little hot and heavy kiss while the guests continued to file out of the church. Clarke finally broke it off. “I am totally in love with you,” she murmured softly. Her one hand caressed Lexa’s cheek. “And if I may quote from one of my favorite movies, because it's truly how I feel— _you complete me_.”

Lexa turned her lips into Clarke’s hand and kissed it. Her heart was soaring. “You can quote movies, too?”

“Yes, yes I can, Linda. I say great things and I quote great movies.”

Lexa chuckled at the familiar moniker. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Clarke leaned her forehead into Lexa’s. “I’ve been dying without you. I’m so sorry. I need to make it up to you, somehow.”

Lexa wiggled her eyebrows. “I can think of a few ways for you to do that.”

Clarke grinned at the innuendo. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” She chucked the bridal bouquet over her shoulder.

The flower arrangement sailed and landed right in Raven’s hands. She contemplated the situation. Dresses? Check. Church? Check. She glanced at Octavia, who rocked her world every day, and shrugged. “God damn indubitable, I think. Right babe?” Raven turned to the good Reverend. “Hey Father, got a minute…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now we can all relax. Take a breath. Let's see, what do I have for you? Nothing extraordinarily funny I'm afraid. Sorry. Have I told you what a disaster in the kitchen I am? I’m seriously bad. So you know that we recently had our kitchen renovated. Total gut, new cabinets, new countertops, new appliances the works. Our stove is electric. The old one had the coils, but this new one is a flat surface, you know the kind. Our first few days in the shiny new kitchen saw me boiling some water on the new shiny stove. Of course some water spilled over and it burned the top. The wife was horrified. I managed to stain the stove in, what ? Two days? They were small stains, but still. I stained the new top. She scrubbed it off, grousing about how she better get some cleaner because god knows what else I’d do. They came off with some elbow grease and a razor. Fast forward two weeks. Now, there’s maybe two or three things that I make that are delicious. Number one, I make a mean grilled cheese. (It’s called butter people!) Two, I make a yummy simple potato salad. (It’s all about the Hellman’s Light Mayo, people!) And number three, I make the best rice pudding. (Ah, no. I’m not giving away the secret, cause then I’d have to kill you!) Rice pudding entails boiling and simmering milk on the stove. And you have to stir it constantly, for over an hour. So I haven’t used the stove since the water incident. Which means, I really have no feel for how hot it gets or how fast it gets hot. Everything is fucking digital. I put the milk on the stove. Now, I’m watching it. I’m truly watching it. But I got distracted for a mere ten seconds. Probably by one of you birds commenting or texting me I’m sure. All of a sudden, I look up and the milk is boiling over the pot and spilling across the entire stove top. I yelp. I pick up the super hot pot, I yelp again, cause I have nowhere to put the pot down, so I put it back on the super hot burner. It makes a sizzling noise. I yelp again. I put the hot pot on the back burner, which is covered in boiling milk. More sizzling. I’m whimpering now. I finally figure out to get like a hot plate to put the pot on and I remove it from the stove. I get out some paper towels. This is what it looked like.  
>   
> Yes. It was apocalyptic. I texted the wife on her way home. She almost drove off the road. After two hours of me wiping and scraping, she gets home and whips out the new cleaner she got on Amazon, and Viola! It came off. Meanwhile I've got elbow tendinitis from scraping.  
> Next milk story. (I know what you're thinking. "Another milk story? Be still my heart." I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here.) So, we're in Barcelona. Our hotel had a breakfast buffet, which was lovely. You sat out in the courtyard sipping tea and coffee and eating chocolate croissants and omelets. There were waiters who took your order, refilled your glasses, cleaned up your dirty plates, etc etc. There was a little station set up with a coffee pot, hot water, and milk. All in stainless steel pitchers. Well, our waiter is MIA, and I needed some milk in my tea. So I get up and go to his little station. And I go to pour the milk, but nothing is coming out. The top of the pitcher is like a stopper. You have to unstop it to get the liquid flowing. I'm fussing and fussing and oops, the stopper pops open and the milk came pouring out. Like pouring out. All over the neat little coffee station, all over the patio. I'm mortified. I panicked. My cup runneth over with milk, my saucer is saucy with it. I slink back to our table, leaving a leche trail along the way. I slide into my seat, trying to make myself as small as possible. I'm hoping nobody will know it's me. And the wife is rolling. Then I start rolling. Now, my back is to the mess, the wife is facing it. The wife says, "Oh, here comes the waiter." She said he walked by the station and did a double take with his mouth open wide. I'm dying from laughter now. I'm like, maybe he won't know it's me. Duh. Meanwhile, my tea cup and saucer are dripping milk. Next thing I see is our waiter with a mop, mopping up around the coffee station, and mopping right up to our table. So much for being inconspicuous. But he was smiling as he mopped. God. I'm sure this isn't as funny in the re-telling as it was when it happened. You had to be there.  
> Anyway. That's it for today. Next chapter might not be up so quickly. But I figure I'm leaving you in a better place this time.


End file.
